In my opinion, sexuality should be repressed.
I agree, man.
You should be afraid of it.
Yeah.
Keep it all wrapped up.
Don't sing about it.
No, do it on your own.
You know?
In a dark cupboard.
Exactly.
They banned Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
They should have banned that.
I feel sick.
It's pure filth.
And afraid.
It's barely five past nine.
Imagine the kids listening.
Exactly.
What are they going to think?
This is the big British castle.
There's a disease in the castle walls.
That's disgusting.
It won't happen again.
I'm sorry.
This is Adam and Joe.
I'm Joe.
And I'm Adam.
That was Billy Bragg, incidentally, with disgusting, disgusting song about sexuality.
It's just, he's probably diseased.
Well, now you've gone too far.
Have I?
Yes.
Well, you know, that's not going too far.
That's like a warning.
No, it's going too far.
It brings disease.
Technically, that's true.
What a lovely morning, though.
My goodness, this is the kind of morning you feel good to be alive.
Wouldn't you agree, Joe Cornish?
Yes.
I worry, though, when you talk about the morning, because I worry our non-London listening listeners.
They're not experiencing the same weather.
but I bet you right across the British Isles between us listening friends you know you have to take it as read that we can only speak from our own experience here in London Town and we're not forcing our London Town views over you or weather so you know we're just talking about what it's like here and it's a lovely morning good to be alive you know and I hope you're feeling happy and positive listening friends not you but you know if you're a bit depressed this morning then stick with us and we'll do our best to you know
cheer you up and be your friend.
Maybe Harriet Harmon is listening.
She might, you know, she's had a bad week there, and she might enjoy the show.
Why has she had a bad week?
She's been fiddling around with her donations.
Oh, with donals.
Donals for the Labour Party.
Gordon Brown.
He's had a tough week for Gordon Brown.
But he loves the show.
He loves listening to the show, and this week he's really going to need it to make him feel that life is worth living.
because so far he's got how do you know he listens to the show um oh now you're asking yeah i just imagine he does he look because he looks like he does because he he gives us the question for text the nation every week that's exactly right yeah
All of that coming up incidentally folks are the nation's favorite feature We'll be revealing the winner of last week's song wars and I'm failing this week's difficult song wars Yeah, yeah more about that in a second.
We've got great music coming up and all sorts of exciting chit chat Oh, so let's get some more music away right now.
What about some shambling babies?
I love the babies
Excuse me, just having a little cough there at the end of the baby shambles.
That was written with Kate Moss, apparently.
That's right.
I wonder what bits she wrote.
I'm surprised there weren't more nose flutes.
And general tooting of wind instruments.
Tooting!
On that one.
I'm always amazed that he gets it together to do songs these days.
I love him.
He's a thoroughly engaging chap, I think, but he's... Have you flicked through his book?
Yeah.
I don't recommend anyone buy it, but it's worth popping into a bookshop and having a little leaf through that book.
It's all reprinted like actual photographs of his diary.
Yeah, it's the kind of book I warrant anyone.
could produce.
I think, you know they say everyone's got a book in them.
I think everybody's got a book like that.
Everyone's got a little scrawly notebook in them.
Receipts, pocket fluff, anything.
Small chain, foreign coins.
Just stuff from the bottom of a drawer basically.
Practicing signature.
Squared a bit of blood on it.
You're there, you're home and dry.
Keqing, who was the publisher?
I can't remember.
Kurt Cobain's diary came out a few years ago.
He sort of set the mould in terms of sort of bottom of the drawer tap books.
And you know, they still refer to many parts of that diary as kind of amazing, gospel, truth-like.
He made a list of his favourite records in there.
And that is wheeled out on a regular basis in the music magazines.
Oh, you should listen to this album.
It was in Kurt Cobain's scrawly list of his favourite albums that he wrote in his diary at one stage.
You know, anyway, it's interesting, though, to look at.
Oh, you're not tempted at all to buy... No!
The Docherty book, no.
Pete's Bach?
Nah.
No, because... The Doc Bach?
It'll be... it's surely heading for the bargain bins.
It'll be very cheap quite soon.
Listen, if you had to buy one...
Would you go for the Doc Bock or Russell Brand's Bocky Wock?
Bookie Wock.
What, if I just had to buy a book?
If I was forced into the situation of actually buying a book.
It might happen, man.
It might happen.
Terrorism.
What's the choice?
It's the Russell Brand's Bocky Bookie Wock.
Or the Pete Dockety Book.
Dockety, Bockety, Wockety.
Yeah.
I'd go for the Dockety, Bockety, Wockety.
Would you?
Yeah, because it's got pictures.
Yeah.
Brand's actually written a series of words.
Which has also been serialized already, so you've probably read a bit of it.
It's an assault course for the eyes.
Yeah, yeah.
I prefer the pictures.
They're smoother to look at.
Less, less pointy.
That's true.
Than the words.
Yeah, love pictures.
Hey, you know, you can text us at any point six four zero four six or email adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.
Coming up in a second, the results of Song Wars.
We gonna do that now?
Let's do that after this next track.
Next record.
Hey, this is one chosen by me.
This is a little bit of kind of sort of solely type thing.
It's one of my favorite artists.
This guy's as good as Al Green, I reckon.
Really?
That's high praise.
That's a big play.
This is called Excuse Me by Raphael Sadiq.
Did he say Claire Rayner there at the end?
Yeah, he's talking about Claire Rayner.
She's offered him emotional, sexual and... Marital.
Support, yeah.
His music was very angry before he met Claire Rayner.
She was...
A lady.
Good fact.
Of her time though, wasn't she?
Is she not a lady anymore?
No, she's not.
Has she done a Wachowski brother?
She's a man.
Oh yeah, that's right.
I forgot one of the Wachowskis had a little sex transition.
There you go.
Anyway, sorry.
Shouldn't ramble.
Let's deal with what's it called?
It's called Song Wars.
Song Wars.
Are we gonna do a jingle?
Yeah.
Here we go.
Yeah, is that clear?
That is quite clear.
Sets it all out pretty plainly.
We are announcing the winner of last week's Song Wars.
This is how we're doing it at the moment, folks.
Later on in the show, you'll hear our new compositions, which you'll be able to vote for next week.
But did you have trouble this week?
Yes.
So did I. Big trouble in Little China.
Let's talk about that later.
But anyway, let's find out who won.
Last week, we had to write songs that featured these three elements, sincerity of singing, or at least as close as me and Joe can get to sincerity, which isn't very close, whistling.
And we had to deal with... Is everything a joke to you?
Is everything a joke to you?
Is that what people say to you?
Can you not be serious about anything?
Who said that to you?
People.
Every now and then.
I can never tell if you're being sarcastic.
That's what people say to me a lot.
And the other one was, it had to be about climate change as well.
It had to deal with climate change.
And it had to have whistling.
Yeah, whistling, sincerity, and climate change.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a killer combination.
It was a perfect storm.
It was fun, man.
We had some... We came up with... Musitropes.
Musitropes.
That's a good name for a man.
They're the individual units of music.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, we both came up with pretty respectable tunes, I reckon, if I say so myself.
So let's see who you thought had the best, and we will hear the winner in a second.
But we won't hear the loser, because it's brutal.
Oh!
Well, Adam, I'm afraid I've won with 58%.
And you've got 42 there.
Well, that's close at least.
It is close.
It is very close.
I like close results.
It could have gone either way.
I was just looking through all the emails we've received during the week during that song.
And I was thinking it was looking bad for me.
I was coming across a lot of Buxton boats.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that's sort of slightly kind of patronizing of me.
Well, let's hear that.
Let's hear the winning song.
I'm, you know, I'm a little bit gutted, obviously.
Well, don't worry.
You shouldn't have too much trouble this week.
Oh, well, you haven't heard mine yet.
This is my winning song.
My winning song.
It's called The Global Warming Song.
It's in the style of the kings of convenience kind of business.
The world is dying.
In a couple of years we will all be frying.
documentary Said everything might be cool I saw that documentary But Channel 4 might be lying Channel 4 is a good cue to sleep provocative After all, the public's trust in TV is dying Oh, Peter, Branson, Tech, who can we trust anymore?
How much spring comes early?
It's the fact that it's sunny A good thing or a bad thing The coyotes are proto-cold It's cold and cold and cold It takes a lot to leave there But the limits the government set are so low It's a balling, balling, balling Double reports wait, don't you?
I've got eco light bulbs and a tray
And the polar bears feel pain
There we go.
That's last week's winning Song Wars song.
That's a worthy winner, man.
I take my hat off to you.
Thanks, man.
That's good, sincere singing there as well.
I mean, you can't, you couldn't just leave it sincere, though, I notice.
You had to have the little chatty bits just to... Well, Adam, that is representing the dual voices in many of our heads.
Right.
Balance.
You know, the intense worry.
and the fear that the sky might fall on our heads.
Absolutely.
And then the other voice going, probably won't be right.
And that's the dichotomy a lot of us find ourselves in, isn't it?
That's right.
Thanks for everybody who emailed in about those songs.
A couple of samples here.
We've had an email from MKS Drafting Limited.
I love MKS Drafting.
Yeah, they're one of the best drafting limits there is.
I do all my drafting with them.
Chaps, my vote goes to Joe, please, sounding like touring breaks at their best.
They will be papping themselves.
Churing breaks.
Does that sound like touring breaks?
A bit of an insult to touring breaks.
Whereas Nathan from South London says, I'd like to vote for Adam's song in this week's Song Wars.
Although I did enjoy both tracks, I felt that Adam's was the most emotionally convincing and the theme was sincerity.
After all, the line about the paper cup resonated with me especially as I drink tea at work three or four times a day.
What was the line about the paper cup?
Uh, polar bears are dying just because we want a drink from a plastic cup, actually it was.
Was it?
Yeah.
Paper cup's alright mate.
But you've made this guy recycle his paper cup.
Yeah, I mean, you know.
Oh no, he's bringing his own mug in.
Shouldn't be wasteful.
Yeah, but your own mug is the best option, sure.
Yeah.
Anyway, there you go.
Song Wars from last week.
In the next hour, we will be unveiling our new efforts.
Shall we tell people what they're about?
Well, the idea was that they'd be, we were talking about, uh, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here last week.
Yeah, which I might have to chat about again in a second.
Yeah.
Um, and so we were going to write songs about it.
Well, in fact, we have.
It doesn't feel like I have.
Well, it was sort of from the point of view of Joe as, as a non watcher of the show and me as an avid fan.
Do you wanna know what happened with my song, or shall we- we'll hold back on that.
Yeah, let's tell the story of how we did with those songs in the next hour.
But right now, let's play some more music after this fantastic trail.
Not a good idea.
Tortoise kissing.
Very beaky.
Tiny, tiny little mouths.
He's just kissing the tortoise shell there, though.
He's not actually snogging the tortoise.
Oh.
So that's okay.
That's Echo and the Bunnymen with Seven Seas from 1984, and their album Ocean Rain.
That was a big hit when we were at school.
Do you remember that, Joe?
Pass me by.
Did it?
I was too busy listening to the Thompson twins.
Well, some of the- because that was- it was the more approachable side of the Bunnymen, you know?
Some of the hardcore Bunnymen fans thought they were selling out when Ocean Rain came out.
But I loved it.
It was a really wonderful album.
And I heard it again the other day.
It sort of popped up on shuffle on the pot.
And I went back and de-shuffled it and listened to the whole thing right the way through.
And ah, it's a peach, an absolute smash of an album.
That's all the hard lads used to like that one as well, the bunny men.
And I always used to think, well, there you go.
We can agree about that.
McCulloch, the sincerity of McCulloch, and at one point they were poised to be the biggest band in the world.
Which is a strange thing to consider now.
It was either, it was gonna be either the Bunnymen or U2, poised for world domination.
And then for some reason, the Bunnymen just took their foot off the gas and U2 just jammed it right on.
They're still legendary though.
Oh, yeah.
And in a way, they might have a bit more integrity.
Yeah, I guess so.
Than the U2.
Well, I mean, U2 is not a... You don't see them sponsoring cell phones?
No, that kind of thing.
Absolutely.
No, but I mean, they're in a different universe now, aren't they, U2?
In fact, they played a little impromptu acoustic thing at the Union Chapel, The Edge and Bono the other day.
Was it The Edge who played it with him?
And people were knocked out and they were like, wow, they're actually quite good.
You know what I mean?
You sort of forget that a band that big.
Actually had something to say and and we're good at some point and probably still are you know, but you're very authoritative I am aren't I you should read the news.
I should read the news like what Rachel Matthews is about to do She's gonna she's gonna do the news reading.
We don't have music news today though.
Do we?
Oh man, we got it later on
but not right now because that's depressing though when you can't keep... Nothing's happened in music.
All musicians have just been sleeping.
What are you talking about?
Morrissey?
You're not keeping up with the Morrissey racist route?
No.
Oh my lord.
He's put his foot right back in it.
Let's hear more about that after the news right now.
dots of pleasure there by the band Franz Ferdinand.
They're so hot right now.
Have you heard of them?
No.
They're from Scotland.
Oh, they're so hot right now.
The singer, he loves to cook.
Oh yeah, he does that column.
He loves cooking.
He does, doesn't he?
He writes down all the thoughts he has about cooking in the column.
That's good.
Yes.
And, uh, what are they doing at the moment?
Have they got a new album that's just been out or is coming out or are they just enjoying themselves?
Just having a good time.
Darts of Pleasure.
I know what that means.
What does it mean?
It's like, uh, darts with lovely little sausages on the end.
Oh, yeah.
Darts of Pleasure.
Mmm, sausages.
Delightful.
Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music.
I'm holding up a piece of paper and looking at it as if it's going to tell me what's going to happen in this next link.
Well, you're going to tell me about, you mentioned... Oh yes, Morrissey.
Do you drop the Morrissey racism route, Bob?
I am not about that.
Oh my lord.
What's been going down?
Do you remember 15 years ago he was branded a racist?
Well, there's a big thing on Andrew Collins' blog about this whole thing.
And Andrew Collins is saying that he was one of the journalists at the NME 15 years ago who wrote an article about Morrissey
And the fact that he was skirting around certain racist or apparently racist issues in a song of his, particularly a song called Bengali in Platforms.
And Andrew Collins maintains that they never actually branded him a racist, but they were just saying like, what's he doing?
So he was never actually fully branded with a red hot brand?
No.
With the word racist on it on his bottom.
No, that never actually happened.
The enemy would never do that.
They want to.
They built the brand and they've got the bucket of water.
The Russell Brand.
And the coal fire.
Yeah.
But no, it never actually happened.
But still, the whole notion that Morrissey was a bit of a racist stuck, you know?
The enemy's assertion was that he shouldn't even be playing around with such sensitive issues, do you know what I mean?
In his songs.
So what's he done there?
So now, after 15 years of not talking to the enemy, he's gone back and he's given them a new interview and almost immediately got back into the same problematic chatting about immigration this time.
And he's clearly not like someone who is a racist per se, like, you know what I mean?
He doesn't sort of go around... What's he said?
Basically, here are the offending bits in this interview.
The interviewer says, you live in Italy now, would you ever consider moving back to Britain?
Uh, Morrissey says, Britain's a terribly ne- Britain's a terribly negative.
This is what Morrissey sounds like.
Is it?
Yeah.
And it hammers people down and it puts you back and it prevent- it pulls you back and it prevents you.
A lot of this is nonsense.
Britain's a terribly negative.
Anyway, also with the issue of immigration, it's very difficult because although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England, the more British identity disappears.
So the price is enormous.
If you travel to Germany, it's still absolutely Germany.
If you travel to Sweden, it's still very Swedish in identity.
But travel to England and you have no idea where you are.
says Mozart, and then carries on in a similar vein, basically sort of just saying it's a shame that some spurious notion of Englishness has been lost because of the influx of immigrants from... Well, he's not making the problem any better by leaving.
He should come back and be British.
Exactly.
He's gone off and he lives in LA now and he enjoys being an expat in lots of other countries in a way that he's
He's probably polluting the Los Angelesity of Los Angeles with his Morrisisms.
So what's the problem with that?
Sounds like a fuss about nothing to me.
It's a bit nutty.
It's a case of Morrissey being a bit thick about it and sort of worrying about things that aren't really worth worrying about and the enemy just being delighted to stir up another kind
People always say that though, don't they?
It's a kind of a received bit of wisdom about Britain is that we set people up and knock them down.
Elvis Costello was banging on about that as well the other day.
Did you read that?
Saying that it's just impossible to be successful in Britain.
He got in a big race row early on in his career.
Did he?
Yeah, he did.
Saying that British people hate success, we let people get to a certain level and then we knock them down.
Is that true?
Yes, that's true.
Who shall we knock down this week?
What about Leona Lewis?
oh yes she won the x-factor yeah we should have a list of people to bring down who else is too successful we're gonna make our list and while we're making the list we are gonna play you some jay-z this is rock boys that's jay-z rock boys uh that's from his new album the american gangster album tied into the riddles scott film have you seen the riddles scott uh no
I keep, mixed reports, I keep being put off it because I keep reading people saying how it's like a lot of sound and fury but it doesn't really have any impact.
Charlie Brooker was writing saying that, you know, he sat there for two and a half hours and left feeling completely blank.
Right, right, right.
That's a feeling one gets more and more in the cinema these days, don't you feel?
But now I'm excited about seeing it, and that's a return to form for Jay-Z there, according to the critics.
Riddles can make those films just to talk about Riddles again, though.
Riddles is an old fella.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he's in his 70s.
But particularly with Denzel as well.
He sometimes gives me that feeling, Washington.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I watched Man on Fire and I came out of that feeling a bit blank as well.
Well, he's got such a kind of set style now.
Not to say that just because you're in your 70s you can't make amazing, do amazing things and make amazing films.
Clunk Eastwood, for instance.
Clunk, he's a genius.
He's a septuagenarian genius.
And, uh, uh, did you see the Russell Crowe one?
The Riddles one?
Yeah, Goodyear.
Goodyear.
I did.
I love that film.
No.
Yeah, I really enjoyed it in, you know, in a stupid way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw it at the Empire Leicester Square, sitting in the row behind me, was John Prescott.
Was he?
Yeah, seriously, looking really grumpy.
For a change.
Looking like he just needed to escape to the south of France for some Russell Crowe-style slapstick.
I wonder if he enjoyed it.
It's a stinker, it's well worth checking out.
I will do.
Was that your choice, the JC track?
No, that was done automatically by the special people.
Well, listen, this is one that I've picked for you listeners.
I know that a lot of beta band fans listen to this show, so I hope you'll enjoy this one.
It won't be new to you, but it's from their three EPs album, which if you don't know, the beta band is the one to start with.
And it's really a trippy, weird little track.
Is this the one with the ghost on it?
the ghost you remember we had supper with him one time the ghost no steve mason yeah no we went to the studio yeah but he he um came around for supper at my places he used to live around the corner oh right and uh he told me the story about what inspired this song which is dr baker
And when he was, he suffered from depression for a long time and in one of his deepest moments he got, he felt that he was being visited by a ghost that would tap on his window or something like that.
A ghosty.
And he was truly terrified one evening and this song is inspired by that.
Isn't there an actual recording of some, isn't in one of their songs there's this actual recording of something spooky?
Oh I don't know, maybe it's this one.
I don't know, I can't remember.
But this is Dr Baker by The Beta Band.
Textimation!
Text!
Textimation!
What if I don't want to?
Textimation!
But I'm using email!
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
Now we were a little bit wishy-washy about Text the Nation this week, folks.
In that, we're trying to get into the habit of telling you exactly what it's going to be like during the week, posted on the website so that then you can send us in responses.
But we didn't really get it together.
It's been a busy week for myself and Joe, and we've been a bit lax on some of our feature duties.
But we can tell you now that we actually discussed that we might
be using this subject as a text the nation this week and I think we are going to ideas for horror films because yes Joe and myself feel that there's a little bit of a paucity of creativity in the horror film genre there's a crisis in the horror world yeah yeah they're running out of ideas
yeah exactly uh and you can tell that because they've used the shroom idea that's been held in reserve for several years for emergency moments and now they've pulled it out i haven't seen it have you seen it no i've seen a poster good poster it's a good poster with uh a wood and the mushrooms have grown in the shape of a skull and presumably what's gonna happen the
It's about crazy kids who do something that in no way do we recommend you ever do, which is mess with naughty mushrooms.
It's very dangerous generally because you've got to have a firm knowledge of mushrooms.
Generally they can be very dangerous.
That's true.
Shouldn't mess with the mushies.
And this is a horror film about some kids that do mess with the mushies and it makes their heads and probably their tummies.
go all wonky and they pay the price kind of thing and the price ain't nice the price ain't nice no so we want you to come up with some better horror film ideas I had a horror film idea last week you might remember that in the last seven days has become hideously inappropriate
Oh really?
Due to the passing of Evil Knievel.
Oh yes, that's right.
Last show I had an Evil Knievel based horror film idea and now that's become weirdly apposite.
Yes.
I can't repeat it, can I?
No.
But I did see a very good horror film earlier in the year that hasn't been released yet.
So you guys won't have seen it.
It's a Spanish horror film called The Orphanage.
It's got a brilliant bit in it, though.
Yeah.
Okay.
And this is the kind of idea we're looking for.
It's about a woman, and she was in an orphanage when she was little.
And she used to play, uh, grandmother's footsteps.
Oh, yes.
With the other kids.
You know, she turned to face a wall, and she'd do the counting or whatever it is, and then she'd turn round.
Good idea, eh?
Very good idea.
Later, she buys the same orphanage, all deserted, but haunted by ghosties.
Oh, no.
And later in the film, she plays Grandmother's footsteps, but with the ghosties.
Oh my god.
So every time she turns round, she's expecting to see a ghostie.
It's very good.
That's good.
It's very scary.
I thought you were going to say like sometimes she turns round and her face is all like mashed up.
That's just, that, really?
A fact that it turns around the face of a master.
Is that enough for you?
Yes.
Just having a mashed up face.
You know, like at the beginning of the Twilight Zone in the movie when he's sort of playing peek-a-boo.
No, that's not a mashed up face, that's a werewolf face.
Yeah, it's all like a scary face.
A scary face.
No, that would be frightening the audience.
This is, the orphanages are more sophisticated film in which the character themselves feel fear.
Okay.
And therefore we vicariously feel fear.
Yeah.
That to me is the difference between a good horror film and a bad one.
You know, the characters frightened, you're frightened for the character.
In a bad horror film, it's just been a loud noise.
Right.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly.
So we've had a couple of horror film ideas come in via the email during the week.
This is from Clash77.
No, it's not.
It's from Rob from Birmingham.
I got his street name mixed up with his real name.
That's how it is on the streets.
His idea is this.
It's called Grass.
Right.
And it stars Danny Dyer.
Oh, my lord, right?
Good story.
So, it's marketable.
It's doable.
Already.
I'm pretty sure that Dyer would say yes.
An East End gangster, played against type by Danny Dyer, is forced to hide in a safe house after shopping his gangland boss, played straight by Brian Connerly, belt wrongly, to the police.
Man, he's got all the casting ideas.
Little does he know, the house was cursed by gypsies.
Oh no.
And the grass...
uh brackets played by Andy Serkis because he is the CGI actor king, closed brackets, in the garden grows out of control every time someone moves in killing all who try to enter but also not letting anyone leave.
Yours Rob from Birmingham.
That's good Rob from Birmingham.
That's good.
You know M Night Shawadiwadi is doing a film similar to that
I think it's called the, is it called the Happening or something?
And it's all about plants that take revenge and kill people.
It starts with a picnic in the park and the people picnic and get killed by weeds.
Yeah, so but that's really good Rob.
One more to whet your appetite.
You ready for one more?
Yes.
This is from Peter Green.
He emails us regularly, I do believe.
Thank you, Peter.
I wonder if it's the Peter Green from Fleetwood Mac.
I think it is.
That would be great, wouldn't it?
What about this idea?
It's loosely based on the thriller-stroke horror movie Scream, but is instead called Celine.
The movie features Celine Dion, who plays herself and she is also the villain of the film.
Throughout the film, good-looking young people will stumble across Celine in places like behind the shower curtain or in a queue for a cup of tea and a sticky bun.
And whenever they see her, they fall backwards with fright and impale themselves on a sharp object and die a grisly, leg-twitching death while crying and saying things like, I don't want to die, and look, there's Celine Dion.
Mmm.
That's more satire though, that one, isn't it?
That's not a sincere idea for a movie.
What are you reading there as you put up the line?
It's the last line.
Perhaps you, brackets Adam and Joe, closed brackets, could make the film.
In the same way that a film was made within the film Bowfinger, i.e.
Celine wouldn't know you were making a film of her, you might see her nipples.
That's, the last bit's got me really excited about the film.
Yeah.
There's potential there.
So listen, come up with your horror film ideas.
They don't have to be hugely involved.
They can be little one-liners or, we love it if they are hugely involved, text them to 64046.
Or email them.
Or email them to adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk.
Now you chose this next session track, I believe, Joe Cornish.
Or at least you had a hand in it.
Yeah, no, I did choose it.
Yes, okay.
This is Edwin, Edwin Collins, Edwin, Edwin Collins.
It was recorded for Mark Radcliffe on Radio 1 on the 19th of September 1994.
And this is A Girl Like You.
What a frightful noise.
The raconteurs with the, uh, that's the talented Brendan Benson with Jack White.
That's their little side project there.
And they've got a new album coming out shortly, don't they?
They've been busy, I think.
You know, it's an ongoing, it's a serious concern, the raconteurs.
Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music.
Joe, I imagine you were glued to your television set last night, watching Christopher Biggins become the king of the jungle.
No, I wasn't.
I was desperately, desperately trying to complete my Song Wars song.
Right, which was a ballet, sir.
And it didn't occur to you to maybe bone up on the show a little bit to get some ideas.
No, I had a limited time window frame.
Right, yeah, fair enough.
Because I wanted to get some sleep.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I took the song over the show.
We're going to be playing you our... I'm a celebrity, get me out of here songs after the next piece of music, but I'd just like to say that I feel a little embarrassed because I went off on one about Mark Bannerman.
Do you remember that last week, Joe?
I was talking about the fact that he was an amazingly real and visceral bit of TV when he came out, when he was voted out of the jungle and questioned by Ant and Dec and he was suddenly made aware of
the fact that he'd slightly gone overboard with his affections.
We've had an email in about it.
Right.
From Sunny in Bath.
I curiously share both your knowledge and Joe's loathing of I'm a celebrity, as my better half is a fan.
So I absorb a fair bit of it through a kind of reluctant osmosis.
I saw this bannerman on his way out of the jungle, but cannot share your view of his obvious remorse and shame.
over his sugary harassment of once credible values pops to Kerris Matthews.
He seemed to me to be completely irreverent regarding the position he'd put his poor misses in.
Instead of any kind of apology or even a possible excuse, he chose to use this video soapbox to wax lyrical about how great Kerris was and how close they'd become.
Who's that from?
That's from Sonny in Bath.
Well said, Sonny.
I think you might be right, you know, and I think I we've talked before about the fact that I can be a little credulous and I think you fell hook like and hook line and sinker I think some of men's act well because you know, the thing is that during the week the big news was that They all got letters sent to them the people still in the camp, right?
And they were all read out on air and one of and Kerry's got a letter first of all from her Little children and her family and stuff and that was very sweet, but that was followed up
by a letter from Mark, and it said, uh, keep singing Songbird, uh, you're doing great or something, I'll be there waiting for you when you get out if you want me to be.
Keep singing Songbird.
Keep singing, little songbird.
My precious little princess.
Or I'll shoot you.
I'll be there for you when you get out.
It was like that.
And so it was very exciting, and Kerris was clearly overwhelmed with joy, I would think.
And so I was thinking, wow, there you go.
He sorted things out like with his girlfriend.
I guess maybe called it off with Sarah, his girlfriend.
He's going to fly back out there and welcome Kerris with open arms.
He wasn't there, mate.
Wasn't there.
When she got out, no sign of the filthy rock basket from EastEnders.
That is Mark Bannerman.
What's he doing?
What's he playing at?
He's let me down.
He's let Kerry's down.
He's let my wife down, who was disappointed as well.
And I just... Does your wife think he's quite sexy?
No, no.
She wouldn't mind a slice of Jay from Five.
Really?
Yeah, a delicious slice of Jay.
But she's not having any of Mark, certainly not.
Really?
So I felt a little cheated.
I'm imagining Jay from Five making love to your wife.
She is too.
But there you go.
Anyway, I'm glad... Hang on a second.
What are they doing there?
Don't do that.
Come on.
But I'm glad Biggins won, you know what I mean?
That's a good result.
He's like a good person, I think.
He's like a good person.
He appears similar to good people.
He does an excellent imitation of a good person.
But anyway, this week's Song Wars listeners are about I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
We both had a trying time with them.
We'll explain more after a bit more music.
Here's the Foo Fighters.
Their single comes out on Monday, I believe, and it's called Long Road to Ruin.
It's a peach!
It's time for Song Wars.
The War of the Songs.
Yep song wars and song wars time.
Yeah.
Yeah This is the part of the show where we both compose a song on a theme and you the listeners get to decide Which one's the better one might be difficult for you this week Because I haven't heard Adams and he hasn't heard mine, but we've both agreed that we don't think we well I I don't think I've done a very good job this week No, I was in severe trouble.
I was in bad trouble
Yeah, I was in trouble time-wise.
I usually do my song on a Wednesday evening.
Right.
So I've got a bit of a window in case it's wrong.
This week did it last night.
Started about ten.
Oh, that's not bad.
I know, finished about one.
I mean, that's not bad.
Three hours, that's all right.
Yeah, but wait till you hear it.
It's a mess.
Yeah.
I played it to my girlfriend.
She looked at me.
She looked scared and confused.
She couldn't understand the words.
Couldn't understand the chorus.
Didn't think it really had a tune.
I rushed upstairs.
It was one.
You know, we have to get up at like seven to get here.
I was trying to replace the beat.
Trying to make it work.
I'd made it so discordant and odd that nothing would fit.
I had like a exam panic.
I haven't had that for years.
I had like a weird sickness feeling in my stomach.
Wow, you take it really seriously.
Well, I was panicking.
I thought, I don't want to let the listeners down.
No, good for you.
I take the listeners seriously.
I agree with you.
Because we're taking up valuable big British castle time.
Certainly.
Royal time.
You know, and I'm worried.
Absolutely, you don't want to smack the listener in the face.
No, it's odd mine.
It's kind of like supposed to sound a little bit like African or fumboy three-ish.
I was going down that same route.
Why are you?
Lucky you turned around from that route.
That kind of cricket noise sometimes.
Nothing as simple as that in mine.
Yeah, because I was thinking the lunatics have taken over the asylum.
I was thinking as well.
Do you know what I mean?
So what happened with yours?
Well, again, I started pretty late in the day, and I went down a totally different route before just thinking, oh, no, this is a disaster.
Really?
So you rejected one?
Backtracked, yeah.
And I had a good little rhyme going all about, I'm so happy in the jungle, I've lost a stone, or something like that.
Because I love the fact that it seems like, if you're a bit of a vain person, one of the fun things about watching I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here is kind of fantasizing about
the experience is a kind of health camp, do you know what I mean?
They go in there, Bigins is lost over a stone, he looks amazing.
When he came out of the jungle, listen, I'd do him, you know?
And he looks gorgeous.
But anyway, so I rejected that whole route and I've gone down a different thing entirely, but I was panicking to such a degree that I was gonna bring my guitar in and just freestyle.
That thought crossed my mind as well.
Did it?
Yeah.
Well, it'd be interesting to see what we've both done then.
Who, shall I go first this week?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'll go first.
This is my... So should we just make it clear again?
These are songs about I'm a celebrity.
Get me out of here.
Mine from the point of view of an avid fan, Joe, from the point of view of someone who never really watches it.
And this is mine, Adam's, right now.
It'll be fun.
I'll fly to Australia.
Live in the jungle with some stars on the way.
Then when I'm done, I'll no longer be a failure.
I'll fly back to England and be famous again.
First three days in a jungle, and I'm so glad that I came.
Everyone at home said I was mad to do it, just for the sake of being famous again.
But at any too fast the first time round, I want another nibble on the cherry.
And when people see the real me, they're going to like me very.
The only problem is the others that they put me
If you ask me, they're a flipping bunch of twos.
There's this folk who used to be some American celebrity who isn't really playing by the rules.
Day five things are going badly, cos it's all about the yank with the gob.
Or the girl with the knockers or the ex-lam rockers.
How am I expected to do my job?
I ain't getting picked for no bush tucker trials, I spend all my time just moping.
It just ain't fair, I'm wasted in there, and now the phone lines are open.
B for being crap, no it wasn't fun I flew to Australia, I lived in the jungle and it drove me insane And I got ignored, this whole thing's been a failure I'm flying back to England and nobody again
Well, that's better than I expected.
That was good.
Thanks, man.
You used the same little noise I used for Song for Jack Miller, I think.
Oh, really?
Were you aware of that?
Yeah, well, in case you hadn't guessed, folks, we use garage band a lot.
Garage band.
And we're pretty much running out of samples.
GarageBand is like the production tool du jour at the moment because it's all cleared samples in there.
So pretty much every show that's coming out on TV next year as well is going to have just GarageBand all over it.
But anyway.
We better download some new samples.
Some new loops.
Shall we have a listen to yours now?
If we must, so this is in the style of Funboy 3, it's about I'm a celebrity, get me out of here that I don't really watch.
And there's a couple of things that I need to make clear before you attempt to make sense of the following noises.
Qualifications.
Yeah.
Right.
So the like acronym for I'm a celebrity, get me out of here is Yakamu.
yeah i a c g m o o h yakamu yakamu yakamu yakamu yakamu right yeah right here we go and then i just gotta explain what the words of the chorus are the words of the chorus are something i've even forgotten what they are but it's something along the lines of i don't watch it i've got better things to do yakamu yakamu i do not watch it i've got better things to do okay but that
Why are you laughing so much?
But because that is done in a kind of Funboy 3 sort of way, it's slightly incomprehensible.
Right.
Yeah, come on.
I do not watch it.
I got better things to do.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Cue it.
And we took in the jungle every flippin' year We believe in spiders, I do not care I care more for the spiders than the celebrities so we chit up And you will leave that is not true On the refund of Kerris Matthews Hammering class when she's almost nude Very nice, be that kind
Because you will find they get treated by vets.
There's no disease, no celebrity gets seriously killed.
How many times do I have to see celebrities eating testes?
Try something new, please like TV.
Thanks a lot.
Yeah, come on.
I do not watch it.
I'm prepared to sit down.
Yeah, come on.
I do not watch it.
I'm prepared to sit down.
I'm not putting my hand in that hole.
It's full of problems and things.
I'm not going to do it.
I will lie there.
It's disgusting.
Every now and then there is a good bit And I cannot help but sit and watch it But afterwards I feel like rubbish The camera crew are always there There's a six hour hotel just off the stair Like a twenty-five brand just to appear, allegedly
at least i'll watch it a lot less than you that's good man for a minute though yeah that's better than you were making it out to be it's odd we used the same sample there that kind of biork style jungle drum yeah did we yeah yeah well so there you go there are the two songs uh you can vote adam or joe uh if you want you can just vote for your the the one you like
uh the most you know you don't have to be saying that you actually like either of them yeah but the one that you find the most tolerable uh text 6404 the one you're least offended by yeah text ad or joe and you know we'll maybe we should think of a different competition and do song wars on alternate weeks or something i think in the new year we might have to because it's uh it's we've already written an album you know it's not a very good album it's a short album but uh no it's it's 12 songs man really but they're short songs
that some of them are short songs.
But you know, it's not bad.
The Ramones, Jerry Lewis, the Pixies, they used to do one and a half minute songs.
It's an acceptable trope.
So there we go.
Tech64046 vote Adam or Joe, and we'll announce who's in the lead at the end of this show.
And then the true winner will be, can you believe it?
Played again in its entirety at the beginning of next week's show.
There's something to look forward to.
Now, here is the winsome sound of the Sundays with, here's where the story ends.
The Sundays here on BBC Six Music.
This is Adam and Joe.
We're midway through our exciting, regular Saturday morning slot here at the Big British Castle.
Thanks for listening and stuff.
Sorry, Matt.
Can you not say slot?
Sorry.
Yeah.
You've recently... Well, there's been a letter sent round to everyone at the back of the scene.
Can't really say slot.
Ollie on the motorway has texted, uh, we don't usually read this out this sort of kind of casual, uh, radio style text, but he says, haven't heard that song in yonks.
Cheers lads for helping brighten up an otherwise depressing and chilly megabus journey from Chester to London.
Now, do you know about the megabus?
What's the megabus?
Megabus is very big with young people because it's a really, really cheap coach service.
And you'll see its adverts around the place, you'll see its buses.
They're distinguished by a painting of a big chap who's like the Megabus mascot.
He's a big fat round-faced man with a little hat on and a bow tie and a kind of Megabus uniform.
But he's not very confidence inspiring.
No.
The idea that that man who's painted on the side of the Megabus would be driving the Megabus.
is not confidence-inspiring.
This isn't true, obviously Megabus are an entirely reputable company, but I always think that, you know, if that big, rotund, drunk-looking chap was actually, you know, running that company, and it's a bit suspicious that he's only charging like a fiver to go halfway across the country.
So the bus... I just have the atmosphere of a death trap.
The bus itself is not mega though, right?
It's not like... No, it's just, you know, like a mega breakfast.
one of those words could stick onto something I would like if they they'd have to build special motorways and everything to accommodate them but like a massive giant bus giant plane exactly in fact the word mega is is usually uh inverse isn't it it's used to denote something that is actually uh really bad is um yeah that's the end more facts coming up now here's the news read by Rachel Matthews and the music news read by joe yule
That's the Jesus and Mary chain.
The hard boys at school used to like them.
We're always playing them.
We always play a lot of music.
They're tough boys at school.
We always seem to be opening with Bragg.
Yeah.
And then having a kind of midway point with some Mary chain.
That's what it comes down to, it's the early 80s, you know, this is our target audience, they like it, this is when they were in their prime.
It's good, it's good stuff.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
Happy Saturday morning, Christmas period, festive period, December period, officially beginning, advent calendar's popping open, little chocking nuggets popping out.
Have you got an advent calendar?
No!
It's time to get the decos ready and all that business.
You imagine what, do you think if you get like a, if you become very wealthy and powerful, you just have insane advent calendars like, uh, what's his name?
The, uh, Hugh Hefner.
He would have 25 ladies in a big, uh, kind of box.
So sort of a lady calendar.
Lady calendar, and he'd pop open.
Hello, number three.
Hi, Hugh.
Happy 3rd of December.
Advent sort of prozzies.
Well, if you put it like that, it wouldn't be very nice.
I want they'd be sort of locked in a hat.
What about the Christmas Day one?
Well, the Christmas... That wouldn't be very nice because she'd have soiled the box.
No, because just like the real... And she, Hugh, would get a bit of a festive stench.
I thought it all through, just like real Advent calendars.
The point is, the chocolate's trapped in there.
The rooms would get bigger and bigger, you see, so they'd have more supplies.
Ah.
The closer you've got, because, yeah, the Christmas Day one, she's going to be in there for a month, more or less.
She's eating all the stuff as well.
Yeah.
Hugh, I don't know.
I tell you, it is quite Christmasy, because Hugh, on Christmas Day, Hugh goes...
I don't think so.
You just go home, honey.
She comes out and sort of... She's had no exercise for a month and she's just really... What a sordid business Christmas would be if you had control over it.
Horrible, horrible thought.
Yeah.
Anyway, we digress.
Let's read out some texts for our text the nation thing, whatever it is.
Yeah, text the nation this week.
The government have asked us to ask you, the public, about ideas for revitalizing the horror film industry, which seems to have basically run out of ideas.
We've had one or two good ones in, but first of all,
Adam, have you had any ideas?
Well, I've had a couple of ideas.
These are not ideas for fully formed films, they're just ideas of thematically and maybe a couple of scenes.
Good, we'll take anything.
What have you got?
Alright, so I was thinking, my logic was, you know, the most horrific thing that you can imagine, right, is things to do with things you love and things you want to protect, right?
The obvious being babies and children.
So if you have a little baby and child horror in there, obviously nothing too absolutely awful,
But I was thinking baby monitors, right?
That's got to be a good source.
I like that already.
That's a good title, baby monitor.
So you're listening to the baby monitor.
There's a scene where the couple, their new baby, they're listening to the baby gurgling on the baby monitor and then suddenly the gurgling goes low.
That's really good, and then they rush upstairs.
And then he goes silent, and then you just hear... What's happening?
So it's like, has something got in there?
Or has the baby turned into something?
So they go up there, and they're half thinking, oh my god, there's an animal in there, and then maybe the husband, or maybe the wife who's got a bit of postnatal depression, and she's thinking, I don't think you should go in there, I think baby's turned into something.
I don't know.
Anyway, it's something like that.
That's good, man.
An alternative version of that, a bit earlier on in the process, would be when they're at the hospital and they're getting the ultrasound, right?
And so they're listening to the baby's heartbeat, always a very emotional moment for a couple expecting their first child.
And then suddenly you hear, get out.
Get me out.
Do you know what I mean?
First of all, it starts garble.
Well, the baby's possessed.
The ultrasound is picking up the baby's big, big shite.
This is a good route to go down, though, because technology is always... We fear technology.
Yeah.
And we make it evil and ka-ching.
But what could be worse than the enemy within, especially, you know?
Well said, Adam.
Baby should be a happy time.
But you've made it sad.
I've made it horrific.
Because I was thinking, I was thinking it's about time they had a sat-nav horror film.
Right?
I don't know quite what it would be, but it would be a possessed sat-nav, and it would direct you to a horrible place.
A terrible place!
Why does everything nasty would happen?
Yes!
And then it would go, ha ha ha ha ha.
When they died, they had a, pretty much every permutation of the sat-nav is being done elsewhere.
There was a sat-nav joke on Armstrong and Miller last night.
Everyone's doing a sat-nav thing, and now we've done one.
Here's a good one from Richard Foster that's coming via email.
His idea for a horror film is called 28 Seconds Later.
A man wakes up in hospital, can't find anybody for 28 seconds, then he finds everyone.
So it's not a very, yeah.
It's quite good because moments of, you know, temporary panic, when you're lost or you can't find people, I think that's quite good.
Well, you could sort of do an existential skew on it and expand those 28 seconds into a whole kind of lifetime somehow.
What I like about it is if the film is only, say, 45 seconds, then you can up the number of screenings per day, still charge full price, and very profitable.
That's sound business.
Here's another one from Tim in Adelaide, Australia.
No.
Yeah.
He says, Dear Adam and Joe.
He actually says, Hi, Adam and Joe.
He probably says, Good day, does he?
Good day, Adam and Joe.
Yeah.
Sorry.
My horror film would be titled, Mirror Window.
Alright, like Rear Window, but Mirror Window.
A wheelchair bound astronaut, confined to observational duties due to his disability, uses a super powered telescope attached to the space station to spy on the people of Earth.
I like it.
Convinced that he's witnessed a gruesome murder, the astronaut schemes to drop part of the space station onto the killer.
That's good, because rear window kind of pivots around the proximity of the witness to the incident.
Here there's a vast distance between the two and the rest of rear window depends on the killer getting into wheelie man's flat and vice versa, so much more difficult.
for the two parties to meet in that one, which is dramatically interesting.
That's lovely.
Well, listen, keep those ideas coming in, folks.
We'll wrap up Text the Nation towards the end of this hour and, of course, remind you of song wars in the next hour.
But still, we have so much more to ramble and chat about and great music too.
Now, here is Foles with a track called Balloons.
Oh yeah, live music's always hanging out there.
And it just doesn't really clear up after itself a lot of the time.
Really?
Makes a terrible mess.
Just treats the hub like a hotel.
Really?
And then off live music goes... The hub's getting sick of it.
The hub is absolutely sick.
The hub wants just some people reading audiobooks in there.
Yeah, exactly.
What would be so wrong with that?
Yeah.
Do you want to hear a little story, Joe Cornish?
Yes, I do.
Now, I may have told you, Joe Cornish, this story before, but I'm not sure I've told our radio listeners, and this is a story which involves me behaving
in a kind of psychopathic way due to the adverse effects of your genetic background various intoxicants yeah this is a long time ago i hastened to add as well because i would never touch so much as a drop of wine these days but
I, a long time ago, hung out with a former Royal Ballet star, a contemporary of Darcy Bussells even, and he is now in whole city occasionally.
He's an actor called Jeremy Sheffield.
Do you know him?
Yeah, I hung it out with him as well.
Yeah, exactly.
He's a nice guy.
This was many years ago.
Yeah, yeah.
He's really, he was a really nice chap anyway, so we got on quite well.
And then he came and sort of hung out with me at work one time.
I was DJing at the time in this mad restaurant in the West End and he came and visited me and it was nice to see him.
and then we didn't see each other for a long time he was very busy but we bumped into each other in Carnaby Street one time and this was after his acting career had started in earnest one time and he was very busy one time and he was clearly on his way somewhere he had somewhere to be and
So he wasn't really in the mood for a kind of conversation.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, sometimes if you're just on your way somewhere, you're focused on that.
And then you bump into someone that... Sure.
Difficult social situation.
You have a little awkward conversation.
So he had really quite an awkward little chat there on, you know, on Carnaby Street.
And I felt like we both probably walked away, said a slightly, ooh, wincing a little bit.
Just thinking, I didn't go that well.
Anyway.
Probably him more than you.
Probably, I don't know.
Who knows?
So, uh...
A few months passed, and one time I was coming from our friend Mark's house, and one time I was cycling across the King's Road, it was a little tiny little bit tooty, and I saw out the corner of my eye, there's Jeremy Sheffield, right?
Walking down the King's Road.
So, but at that moment, as I saw him, he saw me, right?
But only for a split second.
and he ducked down an alley he didn't want the same thing to happen twice he was not in the mood for another let's circumvent that situation he thought yeah and he didn't he thought that oh he hasn't seen me i'm just gonna duck down this alley avoid Buxton entirely avoid you know because i'm not in the mood but he knew you'd seen him he didn't know didn't he no didn't your eyes meet well only for a split second and because i was on my mind when human eyes meet there's no denying that contact uh he i think he obviously thought that maybe i haven't seen because he ducked down the alley
And, uh, but in that moment, I was just, I became enraged.
Do you know what I mean?
That's him.
Yeah.
I just thought, what?
You got down the alley in order to avoid what may have been an awkward conversation, but nevertheless a conversation.
So you pursued him.
So I cycled down the alley after him.
You idiot.
not thinking that I would say that that's happened to me quite often I know you haven't quite finished but no sometimes you'll pass someone in the street you recognize and you your eyes will meet but you'll have a little psychic package package package exchange right like what computers do saying let's just not bother
Yes, exactly.
Do you know what I mean?
And you'll just pretend you haven't recognized each other and walk on.
That's right.
That's what should have happened in the Sheffield situation.
Of course, but because my brain wasn't functioning properly, none of those circuits connected and I just- You chased him.
I chased him.
You had it out.
And so I went down there and as I arrived at the opening of the alley, he was emerging thinking that the coast was clear.
So he bumps into me, poor old Jeremy Sheffield.
And there I am standing there going, hello!
And I had a really mad, starry-eyed conversation with him saying, Hey, how are you doing?
You know what I mean?
Because I hadn't really thought the whole thing through, obviously.
I didn't know what I was going to say.
What was on my mind was like, Hey, why did you avoid me?
But instead I was just saying, through, how's things going?
And he looked quite freaked out.
What was the subtext of your tone?
The subtext of... How dare you deny me?
Yeah, what are you playing at?
Am I so awful?
What's the deal?
What have I done to you?
Well, it was just excruciatingly awkward and then we parted company and off I went just thinking, I'm a nutcase.
Now this was about 15 to 20 years ago.
Yeah, but ever since then, I keep bumping into him over the shop.
It's like he's, it's become, there's some weird sort of unfinished business.
Like you should, you should be friends.
Fate has said you should be friends, but you both are trying to resist it.
And, but, but it's always a little awkward because he never fully resolved the awkwardness of that moment.
And it might be that the whole thing poisoned him quite reasonably against, you know what I mean?
So every, he probably, his heart probably sinks every time he sees me.
I don't mind us.
It's like, it's like Jacob's ladder, you know, it's like the wobbly demons.
He's everywhere.
Really?
Wherever I go, and until I make peace with him, he's gonna, we're gonna bump into each other for... You need some kind of social exorcist.
Yeah, we really do.
I just had to, uh, exorcise that.
Are you hoping he's listening to this, secretly?
Someone who knows him might listen.
Might pass this on.
Yeah.
Well, there we go.
We're gonna play some more music now, but... Was that a smooth enough segue?
Yeah, that was nice.
In fact, we're gonna play some Martin Gay.
This is from Martin Gay's greatest hits.
It's great.
Songs.
Did you know listeners that Marvin Gay put the E on the end of his name because he was paranoid that people would think he was gay?
That's right, he did, didn't he?
Isn't that a lovely little story?
That was a bit unnecessary, though, isn't it?
Greatest voice, one of the greatest talents in the history of music.
Yeah.
just a little nervous little shy socially paranoid mouse that's all he was uh this is called where are we going it's a good question where are we going uh i'm i'm just going home after this all right let's find out where Marvin's going Marvin Gaye there with uh where are we going that's a lovely song now uh new year's eve plans for new year's eve Adam it's a difficult time you know you're exhausted socially from Christmas and all that business and suddenly you've got to pull another big social event out of the bag
uh any plans i couldn't take myself away to the country really yeah yeah just getting out of there staying out staying with my wife's family what's that dude hello what's they're doing a show are you dude
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, we're going to be on air, of course.
We're going to be on air on New Year's Eve.
Very exciting.
But that won't be at night.
No, that's in the afternoon.
It's pre-recorded string day.
But in the evening, I've bought tickets for a thing that the super furry animals are doing at the Royal Festival Hall.
They're taking over the whole of the Royal Festival Hall.
They're playing.
And they're taking over the whole building.
They're doing stuff like in the lobby and in the foyer.
And it's going on all night.
And then you will be in the perfect location to see the big fireworks on the Thames.
I'm excited about that.
I've got some friends going to come along.
You're not coming.
No.
Because you're in the country.
Yeah.
Uh, but it's gonna be amazing and I'm really excited.
And we're gonna play some Super Fairy Animals right now, aren't we?
Which one are we playing off of them once?
Gift that keeps on giving!
Is that a new one?
Yeah!
Oh, there you go.
Let's hear it.
Text-a-nation!
Text!
Text-a-nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text-a-nation!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
It's Tex the Nation, the nation's favorite segment, feature, item on a radio program.
Isn't that true?
It's absolutely true.
That's true.
That's 100% true.
It's 100% true and it's won about 15 awards.
What, this segment?
This segment
has won 15 awards.
Out of a mere, constantly it awards ceremonies.
Always it awards ceremonies.
And it's been nominated for over 25 awards.
No, just over 25.
Over 25s.
And we turned a lot of them down.
because we couldn't be bothered to go and pick the awards up.
The Text the Nation subject this week is horror films ideas for re-energizing the horror film industry.
Adam was just saying that he's bought, have you bought 1408?
Yes.
And you're all excited about it.
I bought it because I heard you talking about it and you said, oh I watched the first 20 minutes and it was so good that I thought I can't watch, I can't waste it now, I'm gonna save it for a day when I can really appreciate it.
So I thought, ooh, there's 1408, the one that Joe loved so much he had to put off watching it.
And now he's just told me, yes, good 15 minutes and then goes rubbish.
Well, I didn't know that, did I?
It's a very deceptive film.
It's really good at the beginning.
I put it on import.
I don't want to spoil it for anybody, but can I tell you the worst thing about it?
What?
Is when the ghosts appear.
I'm not spoiling it, listeners.
I'm spoiling a tiny corner of it.
When the ghosts appear, they're like tele-ghosts.
And they've got static rolling across their bodies.
Oh, no.
But that's not scary.
No.
Or scary about being a tele-ghost.
Well, that's like... Because they're from the 50s, so they're like old 50s telly.
That's like Pleasantville or something, or something out of minority reform, the holograms.
I think there should be a law in horror films to ban CGI.
I think they should do it.
One of the scariest moments in any film is in the original Poltergeist.
Yes.
When they do it all in one shot when she comes away from the kitchen table and she does something on the sideboard and when she comes back all the chairs are stacked on the table.
Do you remember that?
Absolutely.
And that's purely in camera.
That's practical.
Yeah.
They kind of whisk the old table out and lower a new one in or something really fast.
Brilliant.
Very effective.
Keep it all practical, yeah.
So thanks to everybody who's texted an email for this.
Both of you.
Both.
No, we've had it.
It's joking.
A quantity is not the problem.
Only joking.
But you know this, but from the response to this text the nation, it may be that horror is indeed dead.
Nothing finds people anymore.
The real world is finding enough.
Hey, that's so funny.
You know, I was thinking about this.
There's something in Terror Cell, right?
What's Terror Cell?
Just as the name of a horror film.
Terracell something Terracell and it's about instead of zombies.
You've got people kind of being brainwashed by extremist groups Yes, you know and trying to spread their dirty words That's good.
You keep working on that.
Okay.
Here's one from David Alecock Ali I don't know I've said that as best I can Good morning.
See you both
How about this for an idea for a horror flick?
Two radio DJs?
What are you laughing at?
I'm laughing at that as the best you could say.
What's his name?
Aylcock?
A-L-E-C-O-C-K.
Aylcock.
You'd be a better newsreader than I am.
Aylcock.
It just gave me an excuse to say that.
Sorry David, it's very juvenile.
Two radio DJs create two songs with hidden subliminal messages.
You see, this is an idea that could tie in with this show.
Yeah.
When they're played back to back, these signals are released and make listeners perform random, grisly and in necessary surgery.
Not unnecessary, in necessary surgery on themselves.
Oh, that's the auto surgery we were talking about last week.
Yeah.
There you go.
That's tying everything in together.
Nice.
You think that's a good idea?
That's good.
It's a little bit like
Is it Halloween 4 season of The Witch, where the TV show has a message that gives... Something like that.
That's a confusing film, isn't it, to do with... Oh, isn't it like a toy pumpkins that have got... Right, right.
A weird chip in them or something.
Yeah.
Now, this is an idea that chimes with one of my ideas.
It's from Claire Bradbury.
She was actually responding to us talking about ghosts earlier.
So this is indicative of the response we've had for Text the Nation.
I'm actually having to shoehorn a non-Text the Nation email in.
But she said we mentioned ghosts earlier when we played when we played the beta band track She said it's very foggy here and as we were driving to school with her four-year-old He the four-year-old suggested that the mist was like clouds on the ground But the little girl said no, it's like a giant ghost.
We're driving through a giant ghost.
Well, that's like the fog, isn't it?
It's a bit like the fog, but one of my theories is that I think scientists should investigate is that wind is ghosts.
Is it?
There you go.
That wind is actually the spirits of the dead, but they're completely invisible.
You can feel them, they blow against you and rustle the trees.
One day a scientist will make this clear, you know, will discover this, they'll activate some kind of thing in the air.
Just ghosts will be everywhere.
Right, they'll adjust the frequency of the wind and they'll be able to hear what the wind is saying.
And the weather report will just turn into, there's a strong current of evil demons that will be blowing through the north of England this morning.
Do you know?
Yes, exactly.
Isn't that feasible?
I would say that's 100% feasible.
Yeah.
There's a song by King Crimson called I Talk to the Wind, which seems to be about that.
Mike, bring it in next week for you folks.
It'll be exciting for you, won't it?
Yeah.
Have you got one more there to wrap up Text the Nation this week, Joe?
No.
Nope.
I'm just flicking through them.
No insult to the people who sent the ideas.
Thank you.
But we have a very high quality threshold.
That's true.
On this program.
So that's it for Text the Nation.
Thank you very much indeed for sending us your ideas there.
Right now, here's some more music for you.
This is Queen to the Stone Age.
That's good, isn't it?
That's the queens of the Stone Age make it wit chew.
And that sounds a little bit like Come Together by The Beatles as well there in a good way, I suppose.
Now, I've got a track coming up that I picked for you listeners, and it's a musical swerve which might turn some of you off.
because I know you like the indie pop and the soul and that kind of thing, but I doubt that many of you are into your trad jazz.
But it's just a guess.
Maybe there's a big secret cache of trad jazz fans out there in the sixth music fraternity.
This is a track by Louis Armstrong that I'm going to play you in a second.
And I was inspired to buy this because of the Woody Allen film, Manhattan, because I'm not a massive jazz fan myself, really, although I do really like Louis Armstrong.
But you know, if you're familiar with the film Manhattan, which I imagine many of you will be, you'll remember the scene at the end where Woody Allen, a little bit depressed, is talking into his dictaphone and he's talking about an idea for a movie and he's sort of saying, you know, idea for a movie, group of neurotic people in New York obsess about their neuroses as a way of
dealing with the unmentionable and more terrifying aspects of life.
But I've got to make it positive.
What makes life worth living?
And I've done a little clip of that moment just to remind you.
So here's Woody's list of things that make life worth living.
All right, why is life worth living?
That's a very good question.
Well, there are certain things I guess that make it worthwhile.
Uh, like what?
Okay, um, for me, uh, who, I would say, what, Groucho Marx, to name one thing, uh, um, and Willie Mays, and, um, the second movement of the Jupiter Symphony.
And Louis Armstrong, recording of Potato Head Blues.
Swedish movies, naturally.
Sentimental Education by Flaubert.
Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra.
Those Incredible Apples and Pairs by Cezanne.
The Crabs at Sam Woes.
Erm... Tracey's face.
Mm-hmm.
And, er... Oh, that's a heartbreaking moment there.
Is it Tracey's face?
Tracey's face, yeah.
What's the resonance of that?
Because, er, it's, erm, Mariel Hemingway, the, er, the extremely underage... Terribly underage girl.
Mariel Hemingway that he's in love with in this film.
And he's sort of broken up with her because he knows that it's not a relationship that he should be involved with, really.
Well, things were different then.
Things in those days.
She's not under-aging the film, technically, I don't think.
But still, she's much too young to be going out with him.
And of course, that had resonances in his own life later on.
But in the film, it's really sad.
And he breaks up because he knows that it's the right thing to do.
And she's very upset.
And he can't bear to
think that he's just cast her aside so when he's thinking about the things that make life worth living her face pops back at his mind and he runs after her to say please don't don't don't leave because she's going off to study abroad and he's saying come on we can make this work and but she knows that it's the right thing to do she goes off it's an amazing moment anyway that list of things that make life worth living I thought I've got to investigate it you know I love Woody Allen I love this film and I didn't know anything about any of those
people when I first- So you're going out with a terribly underage girl.
Yeah, so this is what I'm working around to.
No, I'm not.
I'm happily married to an overaged girl, but I did think, well, I'm going to investigate some of the things in his list, you know what I mean?
Willie Mays, the baseball player, I couldn't really care about baseball, so I thought I won't start there.
Groucho Marx, I've yet to investigate properly.
Do you know what I mean?
They're good.
You get the right Marx Brothers films, they're amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
What do you start with?
Duck Soup, I suppose, or Take The Racist.
Maybe, yeah, either of those.
day at the races.
Second movement of the Jupiter Symphony.
We were talking about this earlier.
Our producer, Jude, says it's great.
You know, it's still too early for me and Joe to investigate classical music too deeply, I feel.
There's too much silly indie pop around.
I like it if it's been in films.
Yes, exactly.
Marlon Brando, of course.
Well, he's good, you know.
You can't beat the island of Dr. Moreau, so I'm with Woody on that one.
Frank Sinatra.
Yeah, you know, Frank in Small Doses is pretty good.
I'm not like a massive Frank Sinatra fan.
but I thought I'm going to go for the crabs at Sam Wo's, I wouldn't know.
That's just a dish at a restaurant.
It may have closed by now, who knows?
Yeah, if you've had crabs at Sam Wo's out there, listener, then let us know what they were like.
Do you agree with Woody?
Apples and Pears by Cezanne?
Yeah, sure, that's very nice and everything.
But I thought I'm going to start with Louis Armstrong's recording of Potato Head Blues.
That sounds pretty excellent.
So I hope you enjoy this, folks.
This is it.
There you go, man.
That's from 1927, Louis Armstrong and the Hot Fives, or maybe the Hot Servants, I don't know.
And that's called Potato Head Blues.
It says in the notes here, same as Willie the Weeper, recorded on May 11, 1927 in Chicago.
I thought you were going to do, when you told me you were going to do this bit, I thought you were going to do a thing about, you know, lists of things you really like and love in life that make you happy.
Well, I did try and write my own list, but it was so banal that I thought maybe I wouldn't.
I did one.
IMAX 3D fruit smoothies, long Sunday breakfasts.
Driving over the River Thames at night, fresh bed clothes, falling asleep on the sofa with the teleon, finishing a project and getting paid, getting recognised by someone who likes you, swimming in shallow, warm sea water, tickling a purring cat's tummy, a haircut that's grown to the perfect length, a new item of clothing that makes you look like some kind of a model,
uh walking along the south bank the village of dulverton in summerset film seeing films in foreign countries going on big roller coasters getting packages delivered from amazon spooning badminton spending the whole day in pajamas uh things going on live tv temporary deafness after a live gig and coming from coming home from holidays and baths that's excellent man that's a good list holy moly well folks you know if you've got a list out there i wouldn't mind hearing it i should compose a better one all i got i mean i didn't spend very long thinking about mine
But I put at the top of my list, I'm taking friends and family as red, you know, obviously that's the main thing that makes life worth living.
But I've just got on my list, Chinese food, Indian foods, sushi, the wire, flight of the concords, my bike, Anton deck and Marky Smith.
What a dreadful life you lead.
I like my life, that's good.
All those things are wonderful and I stand by them but I think there are probably slightly more lyrical things like what you add on your list.
I just read them very fast, it gave the effect of depth.
It worked well, I liked it man, that was a nice thing.
Is it more music time now?
Yes.
What are we having now?
Well, we've got a trail first.
Oh yeah, a trail, and after that we're gonna hear the Kings of Convenience.
Are we gonna go straight into that track?
Yeah, so this is like a... I'm flagging up the song after this trail.
Kings of Convenience with winning a battle, losing the war.
But now, the trail!
That's delightful.
That's a wonderful moment here in the studio, folks, the sunshine streaming in through the windows, a little bit of Kings of Convenience.
Just had Joe's inspiring list of things that make life worth living there.
And, you know, all is right with the world.
I was struggling a bit earlier on because, you know, that bit in Manhattan actually, when he says Tracy's face, that's one of the things in my
sort of cultural mind cannon that is more or less a trigger to make me blub.
Do you know what I mean?
If you've got things like that that you can't, either a song or a moment in a film or something, and it's like a very visceral reaction.
It's nothing to do with how you're feeling at that point, but it's like a switch and you just have to have a little blub about it.
And that moment is... Really?
Yeah.
You could cry.
It'd be good radio.
It wouldn't.
A little blub.
Come on, it will be good.
I'll have a little cry in the news.
Yeah, what now?
Oh yeah, the news.
And now it's time for the news on BBC six music read by Rachel Matthews and the music news read by Joe Yule.
So there.
That's the Art of Monkeys.
Yeah, and if you didn't understand that, then you're old.
Yeah, you are old.
You make me sick and so old.
We were just saying that I think the video for that is directed by Richard Iowade, who is in the IT crowd.
Yeah, very, very funny.
Lovely fellow.
And it's a good video.
You should check it out.
It's like Fighting Clowns.
I think it's for that track.
I'm pretty sure it is.
He's a South Londoner, Richard.
Now, if you heard the following Sting type jingle, what would you think?
Who will witness some wars today?
Perhaps it will be patterned, or it could be judged.
Be the one who won.
You will be the one who decides by texting or revealing.
It's like Led Zeppelin.
It should have been on the, it should have been on the mothership.
You know, even though it wasn't technically a Led Zeppelin track, it's just a jingle for Song Wars.
I think they should have included it there as the song they watched.
What's the mothership?
Their Big Greatest Sense package.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Supposed to be Wicked.
It's Song Wars recap time listeners.
If you were unable to tune into the beginning of the show, this is the part when we replay the magical songs that we've written for you this week on the theme of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, which reached its yawn some climax on Friday evening or exciting one, depending on your point of view.
And a reminder that if you are voting for these songs during the week,
which you're welcome to do if you're listening again please do not text just email your vote to adamandjo.6music at bbc.co.uk is that a capital A on the beginning of adamandjo is that correct don't know if it's case sensitive we don't know it's not case sensitive it's the word and rather than an ampersand as well on adamandjo number six
So here we go.
These are the two songs.
We're not particularly proud of these songs, listeners.
You know, we realise they're a bit problematic and ear-stressing.
So they're quite short.
But shall we start with yours again, Adam?
Yeah, OK then.
Here's my effort.
This is Adam's I'm a Celebrity Song.
It'll be fun.
I'll fly to Australia.
Live in the jungle with some stars on the way.
Then when I'm done, I'll no longer be a failure I'll fly back to England and be famous again First three days in a jungle and I'm so glad that I came Everyone at home said I was mad to do it just for the sake of being famous again But at any too fast the first time round I want another nibble on the cherry And when people see the real me, they're gonna like me very The only problem is the others that they could be
If you ask me, they're a flippin' bunch of tombs.
There's this folk who used to be some American celebrity who isn't really playing by the rules.
This day five things are going badly, cause it's all about the yank with the gob, or the girl with the knockers or the ex-glam rockers.
How am I expected to do my job?
I ain't getting picked for no bush tucker trials, I spend all my time just moping.
It just ain't fair, I'm wasted in there, and now the phone lines are open.
I was voted out first, I didn't even get a chance to prove to the viewers I'm the chuckles of chat.
This program's the worst, they make me look like a boring kid, and if I am remembered,
That's sort of written from the point of view of the first person to be voted out.
That's always an ignominious position.
You go all the way and then people just beat you out.
I can't remember who was the first out this year.
Mark was the first out, was he?
The love rat.
There you go.
Well, that was because of his love rattery.
But last year it was Toby Anstiss.
I felt kind of sorry for Anstiss, because he was clearly excited by the prospect of the whole thing.
And then it was like, oh.
Because he was simply overshadowed by the colossal personalities in the camp with him.
And it can happen.
Yeah, I, on the other hand, don't really watch it.
So I've written a song from the point of view of not really watching it.
And I must repeat my kind of qualifying statements that the acronym for I'm a celebrity, get me out of here is I M A. I'm no, hang on.
I'm a celebrity.
Get me out of here is I a C G M O O H. The word Yakima.
So I turn that into a kind of a jungle chant.
W-w-what do you mean in my brain?
Y-yakkamu.
I do not put shit I got better things to do, okay?
That's what the chorus is saying.
I gotta explain that every time.
And, uh, yeah, this is a kind of a Fumboy 3-style African thing, and I can only apologize.
I do not care, I care more for the spiders than the celebrities serving shit off.
And you will lead that is not true on the refund of Kerris Matthews.
I'm well in class when she's almost nude, very nice.
Because we will find they get treated by vets.
There's no disease, no celebrity gets seriously killed.
How many times do I have to see celebrities eating testes?
Try something new, please like TV.
Thanks a lot.
Yeah, come on.
I do not watch it.
I'm a better visitor.
Yeah, come on.
I do not watch it.
I'm a better visitor.
I'm not putting my hand in that hose.
Pull up, pull up some things.
I'm not gonna do it all like that.
It's disgusting.
At least I'll watch it a lot less than you
So there we go.
Text your votes if you want to hear Adam's song, which was the previous song.
Text add to 64046.
You just heard it.
What am I saying if you want to hear it?
If you think it's the better one, if you think mine is the better one, the second one, text Joe to 64046.
Or if you're listening on Listen Again, email your vote to adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk, innit bruv fam?
Yeah, wiki bruv.
Believe.
No one says that anymore.
Doesn't Westwood still say it?
Believe, Westwood.
Yes, he does.
Does he?
Anyway, the winner of Song Wars this week will be played on the show next week.
What's our Song Wars theme going to be for next week?
That's a very good question.
We had a good suggestion.
What was it?
Yes, it was...
Uh, closing credit themes for films that never really had one.
Like, you know, the end of Men in Black you've got.
Here come the Men in Black.
Yeah.
The majority of films have a kind of rap or a song that includes the title of the film over the closing credits.
Yeah.
Are they certainly used to in the good old days?
In the good old days.
It was kind of duergoer after Ghostbusters did such a brilliant job.
Yes.
That kind of set the tone, didn't it?
Uh-huh.
There's probably ones before that.
But now it doesn't happen so often.
Wow, wow, West.
That's a very good one as well.
And so the idea is that we're going to write closing credit songs for films that shouldn't really have them.
Yeah, or films that never had them and we think they should have them.
And need them.
Yeah, they could be more serious, like Lions for Lambs maybe.
No one's seen that, but I imagine it hasn't gotten a Lions for Lambs rap at the end.
Can you imagine going to see Lions for Lambs?
No.
At the cinema?
No, I can't.
Oh my lord.
Might be really good, who knows?
I can't believe it is.
So please give us your suggestions for films that you'd like us to write a closing credits song for.
The more incongruous, the better.
Obviously, don't make it distasteful.
You know, if it's a film about something really serious or an important historical event,
I actually maybe do send those in to Adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk and it'll be our pleasure to concoct another couple of shoddy, bizarre songs for you next week.
Now, session track time.
Is this one that I'm putting my name to?
Okay, I'm putting my name to this Joy Division session track, even though, to be honest with you folks, Joy Division is a yawning gap in my musical... Have you seen the film Control?
Appreciation and knowledge.
I have not seen it, but I'm told universally that it's a smash.
It's good, yeah.
I mean, you're a bit of a doubter about sort of music biog films generally.
They tend to be a little ludicrous, don't they?
I like it.
I don't know what the listeners think.
I enjoyed it a lot.
I was slightly disappointed.
Were you?
Yeah, because he didn't actually have that much of a life to... Do you know what I mean?
I know, he's very young.
Yeah, yeah.
And what was there was interesting.
better or worse than what was it called 24-hour party people I mean I know they're not the same very different very very different incomparable I'd say but if control wasn't in black the main thing about control is how beautiful it looks right how beautiful he shot it mr. photography man Anton Corbin yeah he took our photograph once he did indeed yeah film magazine Will McDonough and Richard Blackway wrap it up wrap it up but anyway yeah here's some joy division
Just ran out of steam there at the end.
He's just got a bit tired.
He's got a bit knackered.
That was Joy Division with transmission.
That was recorded as a peel session on Radio 1 on the 31st of January 1979.
That sounded great.
It sounded amazing, didn't it?
I wonder if Martin Hannett produced that peel session then as well.
Who knows?
It's, uh, yeah, mystery Adam.
So Joe, what were you going on about in the break there?
What was I going on about?
Well, I don't know whether you're the same as me listeners, but I love my megastores, right?
Yeah.
It's been very much a part of our generation's life, is to go up a high street and be able to see a certain megastore, either Tower or Virgin or HMV, maybe.
And we, Adam and I, we've talked about this before.
It looked like how central that was to our youth.
And whenever we went to a foreign city, we'd immediately go to that megastore, you know, the Virgin megastore on the Champs-Élysées or wherever it was.
And it's a nice little point of
Exactly.
Exactly, kind of unity.
At once it was familiar and yet foreign.
Exactly, the branding would be the same anywhere in the world but you'd find amazing different like albums and DVDs and stuff.
Things are changing though and we've discussed this before that because of the whole internet thing.
Download generation.
Thanks a lot Tony Blair.
Yeah.
Shops like that are kind of dying.
And you can tell they're dying because their prices are going right down.
You know, DVDs are almost worthless.
The stuff they sell in there, it feels like a jumble sale now.
And there's been a seismic shift in this kind of trend, because the Virgin Megastore, and we should remind listeners that there are many other megastores available out there.
Are there?
Yeah.
The big British Castle, Woodwood Castle.
A big British Castle.
As to Janet Street Porter's, possessed by Janet Street Porter.
Anyway, the Virgin Megastore, which is one of these megastores, has undergone a brand name change.
Right.
Sometime the week before last, or maybe three or four weeks ago, it suddenly, without warning, became the Zavi Store.
The what?
The Zavi.
Z-A-V-V-I.
The one in Tottenham Court Road, which is the one I go to quite a lot.
Is that an acronym?
What's the logic?
I don't know.
I've no idea.
It was very odd.
Just one day I went in and they hadn't even removed all the Virgin posters.
They kept the posters, but they just torn the bits off that say Virgin.
Seriously, class.
They just cut the corners off the Virgin posters and put Xavi there instead.
They'd obviously gone into the till computer and they changed the receipt, that said Savvy.
But it's all very confusing.
It's all very weird and they didn't give us any warning.
Is it still owned by Branholm?
No, Branson's out.
He's ghost, he's gone.
He does not want anything to do with the retail selling of DVDs and CDs anymore.
And that surely is the beginning of the end.
Yeah.
When Brownhorn is out.
No, that's too rich for my blood, says Renholm.
I'm out of here.
I ain't saying no DVD no more for you.
Renholm had left the building.
So that's the beginning of the end.
HMV's still going strong.
Hang on in there HMV, come on.
What would we do without like big shops like that to go mooching around on it at the weekend?
Well, they're sort of going through a little desperate transition phase where they're trying to do things like have kind of computer banks there where you can go and download stuff.
Download stuff, yeah.
That is totally... That's what Blockbuster think of the future.
There's no way that's gonna happen, is there?
The whole point is the convenience of doing that stuff at home.
With a bit of luck, those big sort of catch-all mega stores will... It won't be lucky if this happens, but they're likely to die, but that'll see a resurgence of the specialist music store.
Right.
Don't you think the brilliant kind of niche CD seller, yeah, exactly, who can get, like, import Japanese stuff and really cool stuff, yeah?
That could be a good thing.
Certainly.
the end we embrace change here at the adam and joe bbc6 music show we're almost at the end of the adam and joe bbc6 music show what are we going to play at david homes is it stars oh stars a little bit of stars uh yeah let's have some more music right now this is stars with the night starts here
That stars with the night starts here.
So don't forget listeners, we'd very much like your suggestions for Song Wars songs.
We'd like you to suggest a film for which we will compose a closing credits kind of thing, an inappropriate film that needs a closing credits song.
And for Text the Nation next week, we're going to kind of stick to that Woody Allen style lists of kind of little, little things that make life worth living.
Yeah, the more sort of personal to you, they can be the better, I suppose.
Yeah.
Otherwise, it's just... Stuff that isn't, you know, articulated a lot, maybe, but we all share.
I'll try and hone my list a little better.
Yeah.
So, don't text those in email.
We only receive emails when we're off air.
Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
Thanks to everybody who's texted and emailed this week.
Yes, as usual, we very much appreciate you listening.
Tell your friends.
I still bump into a lot of people saying, oh, you guys should be back on the radio again.
And I have to say, well, we are.
All you have to do is buy a digital radio.
It's not that hard, is it?
But right now I'd like to leave you with a final track that I've selected for you listeners.
This is from one of the excellent Atlantic Rhythm & Blues compilations, and it's Laverne Baker with Save!
Have a good week!
Bye!
Oh, it's gone.
Liz Kershaw is coming up in a second, incidentally, while we wait for Laverne Baker to return.
It's a very short song.
It's broken.
Let's play something else.
We'll play next week.
Shall I sing it?
I used to smoke.
I used to drink.
I used to smoke.
Drink.
That's a hoochie coo, but now I'm back on.
Here's Liz Kershaw.
This is a disaster.
This is the final two minutes of the show.
I hope this song for you.
It's a... What's this?
A bit of David Holmes.
Not the same at all.
Series 16, I believe.