That's Queens of the Stone Age with the lost art of keeping a secret.
This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music.
I'm Adam.
Hey there, I'm Jo.
Hello.
Happy Saturday morning.
It's a lovely one.
It's very nice here in London.
Lovely.
After a very stormy week, it's now sorted itself out.
So thanks very much for tuning in and listening to our show We're here with you until midday as usual and we have some excellent stuff coming up We've got song wars for you brand new song wars Kate Nash songs We're gonna be unfailing in in the next half hour and of course we have great music we should point out that it's Kate Nash parody songs
We're not actually gonna be unveiling a whole lot of Kate Nash songs.
That might scare some people off.
It might attract some people.
She's a controversial performer.
Is she?
She divides people, yeah.
Uh, so we've attempted to do parodies.
Uh, part of the remit was also to use the stylophone.
Well, that was optional remit.
Says you.
Yeah, no.
Now that you haven't done it.
Well, no, that was the remit.
I've got it live.
Can't suddenly say it's optional.
Are you going to play a long line?
If we play a lot, if we play last week's show, we were saying you were not sure about the stylophone.
Really?
Yeah.
Really?
And I was saying, well, it's the kind of thing that she might use.
It certainly wasn't definitely set in stone as part of the remit.
It was not!
I listened to the show again last week.
Screaming and shouting.
Don't make any difference.
But anyway, I've brought it along.
I can play live over it.
That's my technique.
You better.
Yeah, I might.
If I want to, I might.
Uh-oh.
Okay.
Great music coming up for you as well, listeners.
In this hour alone, Hot Chip, some Mink Deville, some Adele.
Nothing but good stuff here on BBC Six Music, but let's kick things off with a little bit of elbow.
He's been falling down a hole in his neighbourhood.
It's a shame.
He can't help it, apparently.
He should call the council.
Well, exactly.
You'd think the council would do something about it.
Where do you think he lives?
I don't know.
Could be anywhere in London, but he should take a reference number when he calls them.
Then if it doesn't get fixed, when he calls back, the woman at the call centre or man will know where to find his report.
Exactly.
He should take the name of the person he speaks to.
Always take the name and a reference number.
Puts the willies up them.
They don't like it when you ask for their name, do they?
People hate that.
Willies up them.
Yeah, don't they?
Don't they?
Not everybody, but a lot of people do.
But when people, when you say, can I take your name?
It's a fun thing to do, isn't it?
It is, because it sends a shiver up their spine.
They don't like it.
They hate it.
They say, why?
Why?
Sometimes they say, well, and they don't like to give it to you.
Martin, surname as well, please.
Exactly, they give you their Christian names, try and avoid it.
That's right.
Now, that's not gonna be good enough, Martin.
I went too wise for that kind of business.
Sorry, we won't take that.
There's a hole in my neighbourhood.
I have it sorted out within, filled in, you know, a couple of days.
Mmm.
I'd get Phil round and he'd sort it.
Now, we got a song for you now that I've chosen for you.
Listen, this is unless you have something to say there, Joe.
No, I've got nothing to say.
Okay.
This is one I chose for you.
This is Todd Rungren and it's from his album.
Oh, hang on.
I have got something to say.
Britain's run by massive corporations, yeah.
We don't have a government, we've just got Tesco, BAA and BT.
They're the government of this country, right.
Carry on.
Finished?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
We can talk about BAA later.
Todd Rungren.
Something, anything.
Are you familiar with Rungren?
You can... no.
Yeah, no.
Slightly.
This is a great song from a really interesting, strange album.
He released a lot of very odd...
very varied albums in the early seventies.
I think this is from about 1972.
And there's not that many songs about Vikings.
Can you think of many others?
Uh, no.
There's probably some in the film, Eric the Viking.
Possibly.
There are songs by Vikings.
Maybe not about Vikings.
Maybe.
I haven't seen Eric the Viking.
Led Zeppelin have probably done some Viking songs.
Right, right.
I'm sure a lot of those kind of pagan-y old, old world rock bands, you know.
Hmm.
Uh, that kind of thing.
I doubt they'd be as chirpy as this one, though.
Uh, this is Todd Rundgren with Song of the Viking.
Todd Rungren there with Song of the Viking.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
That was good.
I failed to listen to it.
Yeah.
I was reading emails.
You're always reading emails.
Gotta get through the emails.
The listeners expect it.
Yeah, exactly.
Even if we don't read them out, they're all read.
They're all read and processed.
Scans every single one.
Have you got any interesting ones there?
No.
No, not yet.
Not yet.
There was a spat between John Lennon and Todd Rungren.
Did you know about that?
Really?
Yeah.
No.
Todd Rungren did an interview in the NME and he slagged off the Beatles.
And then John Lennon, who was a Todd Rungren fan, was very hurt and sort of wrote back, but he wrote a very sarcastic letter back.
I might try and dig them out a bit later on and read them out if you're interested.
They're quite entertaining.
I like it when pop stars bitch publicly at each other and when someone, especially if they're someone like John Lennon, who you would think would rise above it at that stage, because this was in the 70s when, you know, he's already a living ledge.
He didn't need to get muddy with Rungren.
Everybody hurts.
Do you reckon?
You know?
That would be a good idea.
Doesn't matter for a song, yeah.
Doesn't matter how famous you are.
Yeah.
If someone is rude about you, it still hurts.
Yeah, you reckon?
Yeah, not me personally.
No, you love it.
I'm tough.
I'm reversed.
When you read some of those emails and they're a little chippy, you don't mind.
It does hurt, especially if you're a fan of someone and then they don't like you.
Right.
That must hurt a lot, mustn't it?
Yeah, I guess.
You wouldn't know.
Uh, well... Yeah, no, it's happened to me.
Has it?
Yeah.
What about when Liam Gallagher said he didn't like Adam and, the Adam and Joe show?
No, Gallagher.
No, Gallagher was that.
You were a fan of him, weren't you?
Not particularly.
I wasn't that bothered.
You stung him back.
I wasn't that bothered.
I was a little bit hurt.
But, uh, no, he just said we were studenty, didn't he?
Yeah, but that's quite insulting.
That's a state- Well, it's a statement of- I regard- I regarded us as very sophisticated.
Oh, we're sophisticated students.
Yeah.
So, listen, Songwool's coming up in a second, listeners.
It's the Kate Nash stroke stylophone or not.
Here we go.
Uh, play-off, fight-off, big fight.
Uh, coming up in a second, but before then, here's a little more- What?
Here's- It's time for a trail.
It's time for song wars, the war of the songs A couple of tunes by a couple of prongs, which will you vote?
Yes, it's Song Wars time again listeners.
This is the part of the show where we write songs ourselves using, well I'm using the GarageBand facility on my Apple.
We write songs and then you guys listen to them and you have to vote which one is the best.
I only bring that up about the technology because I pop round to Adam's house.
And I don't know whether he's employing these in his song wars, but quite an extraordinary arsenal of keyboards and non-garage band related equipment.
I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong, but I just think the listeners should know what tools are being employed.
for these songs, because I'm feeling... I'm pushing GarageBand to the limits.
I think I've used all the good samples.
You've got a guitar, don't you?
No, not... Well, I've got an acoustic, not one that plugs in.
There you go.
Oh, an acoustic.
You've got a microphone.
No, I don't have a microphone.
How do you sing into GarageBand?
Into the built-in condenser.
No.
Yeah.
Do you really?
I'm very lo-fi, very stripped down.
Oh, yeah.
The only piece of equipment I've got is the stylophone, hence my excitement at using it, and the chaosolator, which is kind of useless.
There's the annoying sound of the stylophone.
You've got three settings on the new stylophone now.
So I noticed.
You've got that one, and then you've got yet another one.
What difference does that make?
Well, it's slightly different.
The tone of it's slightly different.
What's number three?
Well, number three is the annoying high one.
Oh, so that just changes the pitch?
Well, no, it's a slightly different quality of sound.
I don't know.
And then you can tune it.
It's got a tuning thing on the back.
Did you have to tune yours?
I did tune mine, yeah.
It's very difficult to... Because I started off, I did a whole track with one, and it was horrible sounding.
So did I. I just didn't throw that one away.
That's what I'm entering.
I've got to say that the combination of doing a Kate Nash parody, Kate Nash, whether you love her or dislike her, and it's hard to dislike her that much.
She's only 21.
She's a young thing, and she's singing it like it is.
And if what it's like for her isn't what it's like for you, which is the case with many of us, you might not particularly enjoy her songs.
But even so, it's quite distinct and irritating sound.
affected.
Yeah, well, we sort of got bossy because I think we were playing pumpkin soup or whatever.
Yeah.
And we thought, oh, that can't be hard to do, can it?
It's like young Nancy from Oliver.
Right.
In the charts.
Yeah.
You know, she's got a very kind of baro girl sound.
And I don't know, it's occasionally sounds as if it can't be real.
Yeah.
Because how could someone actually operate in the world talking like that?
and not get hit a lot.
But that's fine because it's, you know, a lot of singers affect funny voices for singing.
It's part of the deal with pop.
But combine that with the stylophone and your mixing dangerous chemicals of, you know, dangerous levels of annoyingness.
The stylophone's, you know, twice as annoying for any one song.
Add a Nash parody and you've got one of the most irritating noises since Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Well, the Stylophone's ever, only ever been really successfully used on Space Oddity, hasn't it?
Really?
Is that a Stylophone on Space Oddity?
Uh, I can't think of too many other... Well, you're about to hear one.
So who's gonna go first?
Should we flip a coin?
We'll flip the coin!
I don't mind going first.
I've got a coin, have I?
Oh no, we haven't got any coins!
Someone can text a coin to us.
Okay, I'm flipping.
Call it.
Uh, I'll go heads.
Heads, it, I don't know what, it's hard to tell on a two pound coin.
Oh no, yeah, you're going heads, it's tails.
It's tails, so you get to choose.
So I get to choose, uh... Is that what it means?
Yeah.
yeah i'll go i'll go first you'll go first yeah a little bit of thinking it took yeah figure out what tactic could give you the strongest start well we're going to play them again later on in the show so i'll go second then i think you should go first both times so this
is my Kate Nash song is thematically and sound wise by no means close to what she's like and I really tried hard it's very very difficult but it's not it's not very easy at all so I sort of zeroed in on a couple of very lazy things that popped out at me thematically and it's alarming and as far as the as far as the voice went it's nowhere near at all so anyway this is my Kate Nash song
I was a bit depressed today So I started thinking about Binge drinking around three o'clock So I went and done a little knock On the door of my best friend Mandy And my boyfriend Andy He was Randy I could tell cause he kept looking at my bum Lucky was some kind of pervy bum fan Bums and binge drinking Binge drinking and bums
When I get depressed I like to go binge drinking with my chums Why are you depressed said Mandy But not Andy When we was at the shops Buying alcohol pops Mandy never stops asking me questions like that So I told her Mandy it's the media They made my bum feel fat I have to go binge drinking Just so I can deal with that Bums and binge drinking
Oh my gosh I was so drunk that night I threw up on Andy and we had a big fight And Mandy cubed and then we had a meal And later on we all watched Bulls of Steel Then I felt quite happy Then I was sad and I thought I wonder how many gents I've had And then I threw up and then I passed out It was so embarrassing my bum was hanging out Bums have been stripped
Been drinking and bums When I get depressed I like to go Been drinking with my chums The lungs have been drinking What been drinking and bums When I get depressed I like to go Been drinking with my chums
Is this to be this performance right now?
Is this to be judged as well?
Yeah, that's good.
That's live at the end there.
It was hard to tell.
It was so well mixed in.
Been shrinking and bums.
There you go, that's my Kate Nash song.
Now we might have to... Let's go to the news, don't you think?
Well, after that, we probably need to hear some news, some important news.
So, listeners, hold that in your brain.
And we'll play Jo's one after the news and a bit of music.
But did you go a radically different direction with your one?
You know what?
I went in a radically similar direction.
Did you?
Yeah.
Especially lyrically and thematically.
You'll find there is one prominent similarity.
It's the Bums, isn't it?
It is the Bums.
Because she loves... It's only a couple of songs that she mentions, Bums, but it really sticks out as being so sort of... Bummy.
Yeah.
And I think she mentions them in more than a couple of songs.
I listen to a lot of Kate Nash.
I listen to the whole of Made of Bricks over and over again.
Me too.
It's not bad, is it?
I went out and bought it.
Did you?
Yeah, I didn't download it.
I mean, did you download it?
I borrowed it off someone.
You borrowed it off someone.
I bought it.
No, you never.
Yes, I did.
He's shaking his head.
I bought it.
It's not bad though, is it?
I bought it.
Here is the, is it news time?
in about 20 seconds 20 seconds yeah come on then Phil's Cornish Phil's Cornish what I've got a fill now yeah okay so my song is brilliant my song has stylophone in it in fact it's built on a foundation of stylophone playing yeah but nevertheless it is the most annoying sound in the world hence my song is very annoying but it's time for song wars the war of the
That was Supergrass with Bad Blood that you just heard there and their album Diamond Who Ha is now in the shops and it's Smash apparently, so brush out and buy it.
Especially if you're a Supergrass fan, I imagine that would be high on your agenda anyway.
It makes sense, doesn't it?
It would make total sense.
But a fan would be excited about the new release, the new Who Ha.
Well done.
And, you know, there's an advert for the album on a lot of music mags at the moment, and they all look very young.
I don't know if they've been airbrushed, but they look about 15, the mighty grass.
Well, they're not 15.
They're not, are they?
I mean, they're about 50, if anything.
But they're looking spry, they're looking good-looking, Gaz looks about 6th, the bloke who broke his neck looks thin, well-unrested.
So, they're on top form.
Anyway, sorry, didn't mean to...
Get off the Song Wars beaten track there.
It's time to unveil Jo's cake-nash masterpiece now.
Yeah, were you gonna play another Tiny Jingle or did you?
I did!
You did?
I wasn't listening at all.
Well, not paying attention at all.
Yeah, it's time for my Song Wars entry.
Uh, Jo's Song Wars entry.
Mine's very short.
Yours was long, wasn't it, Adam?
How long was yours?
Uh... It's over two minutes.
Mine's only just over one minute because I couldn't put anybody through any more than a minute of this.
Right.
I almost didn't bring it in.
Because it was such an awful noise.
Um, it's true.
Don't look so shocked.
Jude's looking shocked.
Well, let's hear it.
Let's hear it.
I don't know.
Mine's called... What was yours called?
Bums and binge drinking.
Mine's called itchy bum.
Itchy bum.
Yeah.
And again, I haven't really managed to sound like her.
I had to speed it all up in a sort of attempt to make it sound a bit like her.
Yeah.
I thought about pitching my voice up, but then I thought, no, I won't bother.
It's frustrating, isn't it?
Because she's got such a particular voice and it's clear that she is affecting part of her accent.
Like it's not real, you know.
yeah but uh it's hard to absolutely nail it very very difficult and both of us have failed to i think here's my song this is my cake nash song featuring us some stylophone action this is called uh itchy bum
To my bedroom, watching telly I another slice of cheese on toast And think about how crap you are I've been thinking for an hour now And I can conclude that you are rubbish And you don't deserve to hear me sing This wicked song about my complicated personal problems Including the fact that I'm
Now I'm sitting at the bus stop My head is full of tissues My body's full of tissues I wish that I could have a lion bar But I cannot afford it And it would make me sporty All over my body That's just another one of the complicated problems I'm gonna put into my next Wicked Song, darling
Only short, itchy bum.
Yeah, some weird tuning on there.
It's good, it's in tune.
It's a bit bagpipe-y, the stylophone, isn't it, basically.
It makes everything sound a bit big country-esque.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't know, there we go.
So, the voting is open to you listeners.
Which of those songs did you like the most?
We'll play them both again before the end of the show, maybe closer together to make it a bit easier for you to decide.
You probably just loathe them both, in which case, vote for the one that you loathe the least.
The text number is 64046.
I'm being told they can't text.
Just email.
Why's that?
Because there's been some complications with the text and the big British castle is now banning the text.
I think you can text 64046 during the show or email adamandjo.6musicapbbc.co.uk I'll count them up, Jude.
I'll count them.
There's no reason why people can't text.
Or if you're listening again or after the show, adamandjo.6musicapbbc.co.uk has two things you're in trouble with now.
First, your outburst of opinions earlier on about corporations and now going against a directive from the big British castle about texting, Cornish is like an outlaw.
He's a crazy man.
Just fancy some time off.
Yeah.
And they won't give us any holiday, so we'll just get fired a bit.
Yeah?
Bye!
Here's The Who with I Can't Explain.
That's The Who with Can't Explain.
Bo did a good version of that.
Did he?
On his album Pinups.
Very good.
For David.
I was, I was, I was... Listen, the votes are coming in already.
Here's one saying, I am a new listener and bum and beats drinking is the funniest thing I've heard for ages.
Binge drinking?
Says Chris.
Yeah, he hasn't heard it properly.
Lee says, both bloody awful.
You have ruined my day.
Okay.
There's one email that's come through.
They were both pretty bad, but I'll go with Adam's just.
It's looking like an early lead for Buxton.
Both pretty bad?
I don't agree.
I agree.
I do agree.
I think the listeners have got it spot on.
64046, you're not allowed to vote by pressing that.
Apparently because we can't guarantee we'll receive all texts.
No, exactly.
Which is a very good reason.
Is there a department in the BBC that come up with just pedantic, stupid reasons to do stupid things?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a giant corporation.
You've got to have things like that happening, you know?
I love it.
It's like Brazil.
Not the country, but the film.
Now, all this rambling and rubbish songs and incompetence in the world of presenting makes it unbelievable that we listeners have been nominated for an award.
Oh, yes.
the, is it the British Press Guild or the Broadcasting Press Guild?
The BPG.
The BPG, they are an organisation made up of, you know, critics and we've been nominated in the category for best radio show, I think.
And we're up against Moyles.
Beyond Belief, a series of Radio 4 religious programs.
Yeah, and what was the other show on Radio 4?
It's the news quiz.
The news quiz, you know, these are big shows that we're up against.
So it's amazing to be nominated in that category, and we're very excited.
This is pretty much only the second time we've ever been nominated for an award.
Um, in our, in our careers.
Is it third time?
Yes, that's right.
We got nominated for a one about animation, didn't we?
Didn't win that one.
Um, but it's, it's very exciting listeners and we're going to the ceremony next Friday.
So this time next week, we'll be able to tell you if we won or not.
But I was wondering if you guys, you know, I don't think we will.
So the key thing is to just simply celebrate while there's a possibility that we might.
Yeah, exactly.
Tutor and something.
My mum always used to say, you know, just enjoy it while it's a possibility.
Yeah.
Enjoy the moment, but what if we won?
Nah, it's not gonna happen.
Um, but I was thinking, like, maybe people could suggest what we could say, yeah?
Because I've been fantasizing about if we won, you know what I mean?
Ever since we found out that we've been nominated, I've been thinking about, what would we say if we won?
You know, which direction would we, would we, like, make a big song and dance about it?
Would we say something outrageous at the podium?
Would we just be polite and say thank you?
I was wondering if some listeners could suggest things that we could say.
And, you know, if it happened, we could take a tape recorder along to the show, right?
And we could tape our speech and then play it on the show.
And, you know, if we got some listeners to suggest stuff for us to say.
Who will be in the audience?
Because it's all to do with who's going to be watching, isn't it?
It's like making a best man speech or something.
You've got to pitch it to the audience.
All I've heard is that the cast of Cranford are going to be there.
Wow.
I'm excited about that.
I love Cranford.
They should do it in like old west country, whatever Cranford is.
Cranford is just posh.
But I'm very excited about seeing the cast of Cranford.
I imagine it'll be some of the younger members.
I can't imagine Stench will be there, will she?
You've got your eye on some busty wench that you're going to attempt to snog, haven't you?
Dame Judy Stench.
The Stench.
Yeah.
I'm gonna get a whiff of the stench.
I've got my eye on the stench.
Uh, so yeah, if anyone's got any.
What are your favorite award acceptance speeches?
Uh, you know what?
I go for the, I like the Coen Brothers style, just say very little.
Yeah.
Awards speeches are boring as Hades.
But they're awful.
It's fun when someone, they're only fun if someone makes an arse of them.
Exactly.
So we should maybe do that.
No, you can't do that knowingly.
That's just obnoxious.
Really?
We'll probably do it by accident.
Anyway, any suggestions?
Greatfully received.
Now, here's a track that Joe's picked out for you listeners.
Yeah, what is this then?
Yeah, this is great.
I tried to play this last week, but something went wonky.
This is a B-side from one of their 12 inches.
It used to be one of my prize possessions because you couldn't get it on CD.
Do you have one or two things like that that you've only got on vinyl?
Yes, I do.
And every now and then you dust off your turntable and you have a vinyl evening, you know, and one of these records that you haven't heard since you last got your record player out always sounds amazing.
But now it's out on CD.
It's in fact comes with the addition of Three Feet High and Rising.
You get a little bonus disc with all their B-sides on it.
This is called it Ain't Hip to be labelled a hippie.
That's numinoid.
And that's a John Peel session track.
It's a good version, you know, of that track.
That was recorded for Radio 1 way back in 1979, the 29th of May.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
Now I saw this advert in the back of Word magazine for an upcoming gig that I think you might be excited about, Joe.
It says, Morton, Paul and Magnae.
Uh, who do you think that could be?
Is that Aha?
Well, it's three solo performances from the members of Aha, all taking place on the same evening at the London Royal Albert Hall.
Wow!
So they're all on the same build, but they appear to be playing separate gigs, three solo gigs, rather than just one Aha gig.
So, but, you know, they can't get themselves together to actually just reform and play an aha gig.
Well, that's good, isn't it?
Because often if you're in a duo or a band, you can get a sort of psychological complex that your voice and individual talent...
Yeah, isn't being heard.
That's right Every now and then that might happen to you and I you know You might I might be annoyed that you get credit for something that I've done vice versa Yeah, I might get credit for something you've done.
I sometimes think you know people need to know Joe
You know, without Adam getting in the way.
See, that never happens to me.
I never have any of those people.
Maybe they've got the same thing.
Yeah, but what's the logic of them doing a gig together?
It's good for them psychologically, and if people pay to see it, then that's a bonus.
That's insanity.
That is bad psychology.
Who's going to play Sun Always Shines on TV?
Yeah, exactly.
Who wrote the songs in her heart?
I imagine it would be Harkett, but then, probably the others.
All of them.
Do you know that for a fact?
Maybe they're just going to play their separate parts.
One of them's gonna go and he's just gonna play lots of bass.
When you say that all of them wrote the song, then you could then split the song down into the good and bad bits of the song.
Like the guy that wrote the choruses was better than the guy that wrote the verses.
Don't you think?
I think so.
One of them is just gonna come on, Magna's gonna come on and say, hello, I'm playing all mainly middle-eights tonight, I wrote all the middle-eights of the song.
That's right, they're gonna have to chop up the songs, they only play the bits that they wrote.
Yeah, Morton's just gonna be standing there with his cheekbones, singing all the little backing vocal bits that he wrote maybe, and
I think it's under- I'm surprised more people don't do that because that's a good way to solve that problem of being in a band.
Being in a band drives you mad.
It's well known, right?
Yes.
How is that?
I don't understand how you could possibly think that is a good way of solving the problem.
No one's happy.
Absolutely.
They're getting individual credit.
Well, people in the band are happy.
Just the audience are upset.
The people in the band can't be happy.
They are luring audiences there under the pretenses of getting some kind of a-ha gig.
And in fact, they're getting nothing of the kind.
They're basically getting people there
They're a huge band.
If that was the Beatles and you were seeing individual sets, would you complain?
If they're upset about the dynamics of being in a successful band... Answer the question.
Well, it's not the Beatles though, is it?
Yeah, but if you're Swedish it is.
Is it?
Yeah.
Are they Nordish?
If you're Nordish it is.
If you are having psychological problems about the stresses that come with being in a successful combo, the best thing to do is turn your back and plant your flag elsewhere as a solo entity and just get on with your life, not carry on working under that banner.
Hahaha.
Do you think that presumably they've got separate dressing rooms and everything like that?
Hey, maybe an our half fan will be able to enlighten us.
Yeah.
Maybe there's more to this than meets the eye.
You can email us at the info.
Maybe there's more to this than meets the eye at pvc.co.uk or you can text 64046.
That's happening on Saturday, May 24th at 7.30pm in case you're interested at the London Royal Albert Hall.
What a gig.
I'm excited, man.
I think it'll be great.
I think it'll be fantastic.
Maybe we can go along there and find out.
I can't.
I think I'm busy.
Are you busy?
Yeah.
I think I might be busy that day as well.
Watching Telly.
I think that day I'm unable to move.
Because I've just fallen.
Now here's track by Foles.
This is the guy that supposedly sounds or looks like you.
Oh really?
Who says that?
Somebody did.
Uh, someone said, oh, is Joe, Joe's masquerading as the guy from foals.
Okay.
Someone, someone surf.
I think maybe when you were away, when Garth was here, someone texted in and said that, um, and it's angular pop art pop math.
What was it?
Someone call it math rock.
That's a ridiculous, uh, phrase, isn't it?
But this is Cassius by foals.
That's the lipos.
The flamers.
Yeah, that's a sort of a request type of thing.
That's going out to Sally Whitehead in sunny Swindon.
We don't really do requests.
No, but you know, the reason we don't do requests is because everything is very solidly, uh, playlisted by music scientists in a good way.
Not playlisted in a bad way.
In a good way.
Well, no, we establish what we're going to play fairly on in the week, is the thing.
Yeah, with a series of long-winded meetings.
um and but that happened to coincide with a request so there we go we've made it into one who was it for again for sally yeah for sally whitehead listen aha news all right here we go a guy from uh from somewhere called chris is very clever because he's logged on to wikipedia and done a bit of research and he brings the following facts
Paul Wachtar Savoy is one member of Aha, has released five albums with his wife Lauren Savoy and their band Savoy.
Nice.
Five albums, okay?
Morton Harkett has released three solo albums.
Among them is Wild Seed.
Oof.
Messy.
which sold around 200,000 copies in Norway and half a million altogether.
It's the best-selling A-ha solo project to date.
Magna Fruhulmin has developed a reputation as a sculptor and painter and has made music for films and television.
In 2004, he released his first solo album, Proper, Past, Perfect, Future, Tense, backed by members of Coldplay, who are big fans of A-ha.
Wow, they're going to be at the Morton Paul Magna gig then.
In recent times, he was commissioned by the Norwegian government to design a postage stamp.
Right.
So there you go.
A conclusive proof that each member of AHR has his own universe of talent, which can own a stage in an audience perfectly adequately.
The idea of the three of them playing on the same stage, but separate bits of music.
Say, oh no.
Well, you know what I mean.
On the same bill.
Yeah.
It's a brilliant one.
And you're stupid.
Uh, I'm not stupid though because, um... Why?
No, that's good, that's good, that'll do.
No, you're not.
You're right, that's a good argument.
Yeah.
Listen, it's gonna be Text the Nation coming up very soon, the part of the show where you text us and we read them out if they're good.
We should have like a Geordie guy like Lily Allen has to explain how everything works.
Have you carried on watching Lily Allen?
I like to dip into Allen every now and again.
Really?
Yeah, a little bit.
just to see how she's getting on.
Have you been keeping up?
No, I did a bit of, you know, sort of telly safari-ing last night and I watched a bit of Balls of Steel.
Oh yes.
I like to keep my eye in.
I watched that a couple of weeks ago.
I watched the guy with the cowboy hat who goes around annoying people.
Yeah, I saw that as well, the devil man.
Yeah.
He was just sneezing in people's faces.
Oh, not the devil, there's a guy who's dressed up like the devil.
Yeah, and he does it, but they all do basically really annoying things.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, and it's supposed to be funny.
Uh, did you, were you laughing and laughing?
No.
I felt like taking my own life.
Well, it's one of those shows that divides people, isn't it?
I mean, yeah.
What was it, a third series now?
A couple of people like it, everyone else hates it.
Uh, not according to Channel 4, it's that it does very well, yeah.
You know, the kids love that kind of thing.
Do they?
It's just a bit of harmless fun.
What's your problem, Granddad?
What is your problem?
It's not good.
Granddad, get with it!
You're right, I'm old and bad stuff is great.
Have you ever seen the Dirty Sanchez movie?
No, you were talking to me about that during the week.
Oh my lord.
That's enough to turn anybody into a granddad.
You know, because I don't mind a little bit of Jackassery every now and again.
I think some of Jackassery... You love it, you're forever stapling your... I'm crazy.
stapling bits of my groin all sorts of places, you know, and I think it's very funny and amusing and I like it if friends of mine punch me in the face randomly or do you shoot oranges at my bottom until I'm bruised that you know, it's very funny.
It's very funny and not humiliating and in the least so I was up for watching the Dirty Sanchez movie, but that that
goes quite an extreme way down a very dark alley.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, I would genuinely like to hear from someone who's a real fan of that film and find out why.
Maybe it could be a new feature.
We pick something we just can't get our heads around.
Yeah.
Someone who loves it, calls in and espouses it.
Yeah, cuz I would- I would like to hear someone- That would be good, wouldn't it?
Cuz that would stop us from becoming fogey-ish.
Exactly.
Someone already, uh, emailed in and said that our Kate Nash parodies were like, you know, old men taking the Mickey out of punk.
That's true.
I mean, it is a little bit true, because, obviously, there is- she operates on a more sophisticated level than we're giving her credit for.
We've just homed in on the- the- well, for me, the boozy and the bums.
Yeah.
And you went for the cheese toasties.
And it's true that, like punk, there's a certain group of mannerisms that are now associated with that sort of clutch of singers, like Lily Allen and, uh... Is there any two of those?
There's only two of them.
Oh, there's Lowe's, what?
Adele and all that lot and... Yeah.
Uh... Who's the other one?
Sandy Tom.
And they all sing in that same way.
Well, they've got, like, they're on similar territory, aren't they?
I mean, there's little things that... Well, we'll have a think about that feature.
We might, we might shape that into something, might we?
Because it'd be good to get a caller on.
Yeah.
And the show, a bit of verbal variety.
Exactly.
Vocal variety.
Tell us what the point of the Dirty Sanchez movie is, please.
Or Balls of Steel.
Yeah.
If you're a fan of either of those things, drop us an email.
Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
Try and articulate briefly why you're passionate about this thing that we think is rubbish.
And maybe we can get you on to... I notice you're saying we there.
I never said a word against Balls of Steel.
Really, you're a fan.
I'm loving all sorts of Steel.
I'm not allowed on Channel 4.
I've been banned.
I've been too boring.
Right now, here's Gnarls Barkley with Run.
There we go, Gnarls Barkley.
Was that Gnarls Barkley?
Yeah, he's the guy with all the hits.
He knows all the sounds that the kids like and he arranges them in ways that attract money to him.
Mmm.
Now, do you want to hear this little follow-up on the Todd Rungren thing that I was talking about earlier on?
Sure.
This is Todd and John Lennon facing off in the Melody Maker.
And so, first of all, this was 1974.
Todd Rundgren's in Melody Maker, and he's saying, John Lennon, he ain't no revolutionary.
He's an effing idiot, man.
Shouting about revolution, acting like a blank.
It just makes people feel uncomfortable.
All he really wants to do is get attention for himself.
And if revolution gets him that attention, he'll get attention through revolution.
Hitting a waitress in the Troubadour?
What kind of revolution is that?
And he's referring to a story that John Lennon got drunk in this place in L.A., drinking whole, and walloped a waitress.
Um, so anyway, he goes on, but John Lennon responds like a, a week later or whatever, also in Melody Maker, and an open lettuce to sod Runtel Stuntel, he says.
Oh, nice.
You know, from Dr. Winston Obugi, that was John Lennon's kind of, um, pseudonym, pseudonym.
Couldn't resist adding a few islands of truth inverted commas of my own in answer to Turd Runtgreen's Howl of Hate.
So John, he's on full wordplay offensive here.
Dear Todd, I like you and some of your work, including I Saw the Light, which is not unlike There is a Place by the Beatles, melody-wise.
So he's in there, like, needling him from the get-go.
That's always a good start.
I like you.
Yeah, exactly.
Claim the upper ground, the higher ground.
Yeah, I Saw the Light is a good song.
And it is a little bit like There is a Place.
Point one, he says, I've never claimed to be a revolutionary, but I am allowed to sing about anything I want.
Right?
Yeah.
Point two, I never hid a waitress in the troubadour.
I did act like an ass.
I was too drunk, so shoot me.
I can't believe that I'm reading out a question for his mistake.
Yeah, exactly.
Uh, point three.
I guess we're all looking for attention, Rod.
Yeah, deliberately getting his name wrong.
Uh, do you really think I don't know how to get it without revolution?
I could dye my hair green and pink for a start, which Todd Rungren did, right?
Pathetic, you pathetic freak.
Uh, point four.
I don't represent anyone but myself.
It sounds like I represented something to you, or you wouldn't have been so violent towards me.
Your dad, perhaps?
Yes, exactly.
Point five, yes, Dodd getting his name wrong again, deliberately right in his face.
Violence comes in mysterious ways.
It's wondrous to perform, including verbals.
But you know what kind of mind... I'm getting very confused now.
It's just random words.
It's just random words now, isn't it?
We get the idea, though.
What an amazing correspondence.
I wish pop stars still had kind of public feuds like that.
They probably do in the NME, don't they?
Yeah, I guess so.
People like... Maybe people not quite as famous as those two.
People from the kooks, I imagine.
They're fairly mouthy, surely.
Here's a free play from you now, Adam.
Yeah, this is from the excellent All Back to Mine series, and one of the best ones, the orbital one, which I really recommend.
It's fantastic orbital picking some of their favourite tracks.
This is Susan Cadogan.
Cadogan.
I read it phonetically there.
Cadogan.
Uh, and I played a track of hers that was off the Super Furry Animals, um, furry selection, I think.
Right, yeah.
We should just stop listening to her on compilations.
And get some albums.
Yes, exactly.
You'd think that would be the thing to do, wouldn't it?
And this is for that.
A fairly recent track, it says on the, um, inlay.
It was from 95.
I don't know if, uh, that's exactly when it was recorded, but it's called Don't Burn Your Bridges by Susan Cadogan.
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
Here's how the feature works.
The Adam and Joe show is on the radio and you help to make it.
Every week you can text in, this is, I'm doing like an explanation.
Right.
Is this from something?
Is this like a?
This is how, this is what I see.
Is this Big Brother?
No, Lily Allen.
Lily Allen.
Yeah, that's what she does.
She explains how her show works.
Cause otherwise people would be lost.
Yeah.
It's a complicated modern show that involves the internet and stuff.
You need guidance.
Yeah.
Plus it fills up screen time.
Exactly.
It's baffling.
So yeah, text the nation, we talk about something and you text us about it.
And we read out the text.
So are they not allowed to text for this as well?
They can text for this one.
How can they text for this one?
Hey, don't try and understand the arcane BBC rules.
They're not designed to be understood.
They are merely designed to be followed.
So, uh, yes, you can text us if you're listening to the show live, if you're doing listen again, of course.
Uh, email.
Email.
Yeah.
Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
Although it's unlikely, isn't it, that they would be read out the following week?
Yeah, we never do, but people still do.
Yeah.
And I read them.
No, you do.
I mean, we do occasionally.
Every now and then, if there's a real sparkler.
Exactly.
A diamond.
Anyway, this week... Oh, my princess.
Text-a-nation is inspired by the fact that I woke up last night after.
Yeah, which is a miracle in itself.
Yeah.
After a nightmare.
It was a terrible night, it was really frightening.
But I woke up and I didn't sit up straight in bed and I wasn't sweating.
And I didn't go like that, right?
Yeah.
Which is of course a movie cliche.
And it just occurred to me that, you know, I very seldom do anything that I see in big movie cliches.
And, uh, it's a shame.
In fact, I couldn't think of one single movie cliche thing that I've done.
Once I got very close to sweeping a lot of objects off a table in a fit of anger.
But then I just thought, no, because I'd have to pick them up and I'd break a lot of things on the table.
So I wouldn't, I'm not gonna do that.
I'm pretty sure I have gone into a field in the countryside and screamed at the sky.
In fury.
Oh god!
Yeah, kind of thing.
I might even done it in my car.
Right.
Oh, I've done it in my car.
Something very depressing happened.
That's a bit like a film, isn't it?
A little bit, yeah.
I know what you mean about sweeping stuff off a mantelpiece.
They're always doing that on the telly name film.
They don't stop.
And it would be such a stupid thing to do.
It would be absolutely ridiculous.
Because you know, you've just got to clear it up.
Exactly.
And I suppose you walk out.
That's one of the biggest movie cliches and one of the stupidest as well, but they use it all the time.
I mean, I saw it in a film just the other day and it gets used on TV all the time.
And it's absolutely ludicrous.
I'd be very keen to hear from someone who'd actually swept stuff off a table like that.
So basically text the nation today, we'd like to hear from anyone who has actually made a big Hollywood cliche, movie cliche, come true, who's actually maybe got into a taxi and just said drive.
Uh, how did that go for you?
Where did you go?
Have you behaved in a way that someone in a movie might behave?
Yeah.
We'll think of some more stuff during the next record.
Uh, I'm sure I've done more stuff.
That kind of thing.
And, uh, like, what was the other one I was thinking of?
Yeah, we'll think of some more stuff in just a second.
But that's Text the Nation.
That was a very short, pithy introduction to Text the Nation.
Now, here's your favourite band.
This is Operator, please.
You love them, right?
I do, yeah.
They're fantastic.
They're from a place called Australia.
What's it like there?
It's very sunny.
There's lovely cities, but if you drive into the outback, it's very dangerous.
Yeah, what happens?
Well, you might get kidnapped, or you might run out of water.
Right.
Or you might just get lost.
Or you might just burn to death.
Yeah, this is supportive.
It is.
But you stay in the cities and it's lovely, even though I hear it's a bit culturally backward.
Right.
Not many good exhibitions, everybody a little bit, you know, barbecue oriented.
Yeah.
Is that true?
No, that's not.
That's not true.
None of that's true.
It's a list of kind of lazy preconceptions.
It is true.
Someone saying that is true.
Here is Operator Please with Just A Song About Ping Pong.
Gloria, uh, yeah?
By them?
Is that a correct way round?
Featuring Van Morrison.
There you go.
And before that, you heard Operator Please with Just A Song About Ping Pong.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
Now it's time for the news read by Rachel Matthews and the music news read by Ruth Barnes.
That's Gilamots.
with Get Over It.
And is that actually out now?
Is that in the shops?
But it's going to be a hit though, isn't it?
I mean, that's got hit written all over it in big, hit-shaped letters.
And their new album is apparently very good as well.
Is it called Red?
And it's just got a big ball of red wool.
It's quite a good iconic cover there.
So good luck to Gilamots.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music, and we're in the midst of Text the Nation.
We're asking you about movie cliches, and particularly which movie cliches do you have ever found yourself actually involved with in your life?
Ever realised a movie cliche?
Do you regularly sit, bolt upright in bed, sweating after a nightmare?
and panting because that never happens to me and I always feel a bit short changed.
Here's one I think a lot of people might have done is rip to photo into.
Right.
You know if there's a picture of you with an old girlfriend or boyfriend who you no longer want in your mind.
Or a friend who you now think is a bit of an idiot.
Yeah.
You symbolically rip it in two.
Have you done that with any of our press pictures?
All of them.
And then I usually put them back in the frame so that when a new friend comes to visit they can get an idea of my psychological problems just by looking at my photos.
I do that with your pictures but what I do is I burn holes in your eyes with a cigarette.
Really?
What I've got is a photo of an old school photo
And as I kill each person, I'm scrubbing their faces out.
But I've put it in a drawer under some pants, so that at least I'll never find it.
In your nutty room.
And what I also like to do is, if there's a frame photo of somebody I don't like, I look at it.
then I just turn it face down on the shelf, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Die hard style.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Have you ever thrown a photograph of someone you don't like against the wall so the frame smashes?
Nope.
Have you not?
Nope.
No, I haven't done that either.
Now, here's a few other cliches that maybe you've been involved with.
Have you ever opened a door or picked a lock with a credit card?
Have I ever opened a door?
With there was the there was another part to that I since I stand around for a long time waiting for someone to do it for me the way they don't I will lower myself the way that speech and Communication works Joe as you listen to the whole of the sentence that is being said to you and then you respond Thereafter on the basis of that entire sentence if you leap in the middle of the sentence Then of course, it won't make nearly as much sense I was gonna say have you picked a lock with a credit card or a paper clip kind of a man Do you think I am a kind of a genius thief?
Yeah.
A cat burglar.
No, I haven't.
Uh... I think I've tried, but that's a bit of a fallacy, isn't it?
Because when a door fits in a frame, there's a bit for you to get round, isn't there?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
You can't just shove the thing in.
No, exactly.
They've taken that out of the couch.
God knows I've tried.
One time I did do... One thing I did do, though, was to push a key that was already in a lock.
I put a piece of paper under the door and then I pushed the key through, it fell on the piece of paper and I pulled it through the other side and got in.
I mean, it was, it was just like within the house.
Yeah.
So it wasn't very useful.
But still, I felt pretty like, you know, I felt a bit like Tom Cruise doing it.
I bet you did.
It was, it was great.
So here's another one.
During very emotional confrontations with girlfriend or whatever, do you find yourself
Uh, talking to their back, like they spin round and they face away from you with their arms folded or whatever.
Mighty Boosh style.
Maybe staring out of the window with tears streaming down their cheeks and you carry on talking to them with their back to you.
Or the other way round.
Has that ever happened?
No, but I have, when I've got upset, I have started sobbing in the middle of a sentence.
Yeah.
Like someone in a film, uncontrollably.
Right.
That's happened.
I'd like to see that.
Would you?
Yeah, I would.
He's very sadistic.
Would you do it today?
Later on.
If you say the right thing.
Okay.
If you get Cornish's Achilles phrase.
How about this?
Have you ever been in a situation at a party or whatever where everybody, where one person starts singing a song and then everyone joins in?
That's a very good cliche.
And it must be unrehered.
In the movies it's always unrehearsed, isn't it?
Yeah.
What's the most famous example of that?
There's a very famous example of that.
Well, there's one in Top Gun, isn't there, where they start singing...
You know, you've lost that loving feeling.
Right.
And that's the legendary scene.
But there's a super... Well, there's one in the sweetest thing.
What's that say?
The Big Chill.
Oh, The Big Chill.
I don't really remember that.
What do they sing in The Big Chill?
I can't remember.
They all dance round the kitchen singing, don't they?
Yeah.
I mean, that film is full of a lot of cliches.
But in movies, they always get the words exactly right.
Exactly, yeah.
And they always time it exactly right.
It's always in a restaurant, and there's always an old lady sitting at a table next door that suddenly gets up and does a really funky dance.
Which you wouldn't expect because she's so old.
That's groovy.
We're going to hear some of your cliches and some of the cliches that you have made come true after this next track.
This is a young artist.
He's very exciting and he's got a new way of playing the guitar.
I don't know if you've heard of him.
No.
What's his names?
He's called... What are his names?
Jim... Johnny... Hendrocks?
Johnny Hendrocks.
And this is called Vo-Odo-Oh-Chilly.
Voodoo-Chilly.
It's bracket slight return.
Jimothy Hendrix there.
He's an exciting new talent.
That was Voodoo Child.
And this is Adam Joe here on BBC Six Music.
You're going to have to give us a little more time for the text-to-nation.
We've got a lot of very good responses what have come in, but there's been a slight technical snafu on the computer.
Snafu?
Yeah.
Is snafu an acronym?
Yes, Situation Normal All F'd Up.
It's explained in the film Saving Private Ryan.
There you go.
Excellent.
As well as FUBAR, I seem to remember.
Yeah.
I don't know what that one stands for, though.
F'd up beyond all reason, I think.
There you go.
Something like that.
Recognition.
Here is a couple of other things.
Oh, here are.
Here are a couple of other.
This is singular.
Alright, Grandad.
Balls of Steel is wicked, you know, you should check it out.
I love dirty sandwiches.
It's very funny.
They get up to mad stuff.
Have you ever been in a situation where you're in bed and the phone rings, it wakes you up, you reach over to answer it and knock the phone off the side table?
We have had one or two responses along those lines.
People pointing out, and I'm kind of saying this prematurely because I'd like to credit people where credit is due but I don't have the printouts with me, talking about how many people in movies have the phone right by their bed and how in real life that's a stupid thing to do because who wants to get woken up violently every time the phone rings?
It is very annoying.
We used to have the phone by our bed and we unplugged it and threw it away.
Yeah, you put it in another room you want to hear it from a distance But one person who I can't credit with their name because it's all gone wrong Did text in to boast that they do have their phone by their bed.
Yeah, and they constantly just wake up and go hello Here's another phone based one Have you ever tapped the you know, like if you get cut off from someone or they hang up on you Have you ever gone click click click click?
Hello?
Oh yes, hi!
You've managed to re-establish communication by clicking the clicker thing.
Yes, what were you saying?
That's an old-fashioned though, isn't it?
They don't really have clicker things anymore.
You've got a thing that cuts off the call though, haven't you?
There's usually a button these days, isn't it?
I know exactly what you mean.
I slightly old-fashioned it.
Grandad!
I love Balls of Steel.
Hey, listen, talking of Balls of Steel, we did have an email from a man called Paul Evanett.
And get this, right?
This'll make you feel embarrassed and ashamed.
Morning, I watch Balls of Steel, not because I like it, but because my daughter, Alice Evanett, was art director's assistant.
She worked, and he says in a slightly rude way that I won't read out, a jokingly rude way that she worked incredibly hard on that program.
And it makes him very, very proud and satisfied to watch her art direction work and see her name on the credits.
Hey, listen, no one's saying that there aren't many talented people involved with that show.
Mark Dolan, the presenter, is excellent, extremely nice guy, highly intelligent person.
There's many geniuses involved with Balls of Steel, which makes it even more incredible.
That's what they come up with.
Well said.
But anyway, I love it.
It's one of my favourite programmes.
It's only Joe who's got some kind of problem with it.
Yeah, I have a problem with it.
I'm just such a big Dirty Sanchez fan that I don't find the time to focus on it properly.
His loyalties are conflicted.
Now it's trail time here on BBC 6 Music.
Check this out!
This is Adam and Jo on 6 Music on a Saturday morning.
It's time for a free play.
Tothan boy me, Jo.
This is a band who we played some music from a few weeks ago.
In fact, this is from the same album as we played before, Dots and Loops.
This is Stereo Lab with Flower Called Nowhere.
That's lovely, isn't it?
Stereo Lab.
Yeah, you know that's my favourite of all of their albums, Dots and Loops.
It's very good, it's very good.
Is it because I haven't listened to the other albums enough?
Or is it one of the best ones?
In terms of being, you know, not that difficult.
Uh, but also quite complicated, but really enjoyable.
Yeah, sort of sunny and breezy and nice.
I think maybe the one after Dots and Loops, like, uh, something about the Milky Milky Night, they all have very long titles.
But the one about the Milky Night is very good as well.
Anyway, they're a great band.
Uh, we're in the middle of Texternation here.
What are you pointing at, Jude?
Pointing at the jingle.
The jingle?
Yeah, go on, play the jingle.
Text-a-nation!
Text, text, text!
Text-a-nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text-a-nation!
But I'm using email!
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
Yes, hello.
And we're talking about movie cliches.
Hello, how are you?
Hi, how are you?
Yeah, I'm very good, thanks.
You go ahead.
No, I was just saying, we're talking about movie cliches and with particular reference to any movie cliches that you found yourself involved with in a real life situation.
Yeah, that you've done in real life.
You've suddenly thought, man, this is like I'm in a film.
Yeah.
And we've got some very good ones here.
This one comes from someone who's either called depressed and can't spell it properly.
Or who just is depressed.
Or who is depressed.
or who is called Deep Rest, because that's how it's spelled.
But they say, I once saw a magician who fainted while on stage.
As he fell, he let go of a dove that flew behind the bar and sat on a beer pump.
It reminded me of Blade Runner.
Wow.
That's quite good, isn't it?
He actually fainted.
That's very dramatic.
In the middle of a dove trick?
Wow.
Doves flying away in any manner are very meaningful.
Absolutely.
Matthew in Croydon says, I have a friend who does not say goodbye when a phone conversation is over.
He just hangs up when his point's made.
Very irritating.
That is true.
People in films always do that.
Especially, I think Americans per se, they don't tend to say goodbye.
They get surprised if you say goodbye.
They're surprised if you say thank you.
Yes.
Americans generally, they go, oh, you're welcome.
My dad doesn't say goodbye.
Doesn't he?
No, he just randomly hangs up.
It's very upsetting.
Doesn't even make a little noise.
No, not really.
It's just suddenly tick.
Well, maybe it's a newfangled thing.
Maybe it's a like 70s 80s thing to say goodbye on the phone.
Yeah.
No?
Well, I mean, I get into terrible situations saying goodbye.
You know, I'll say goodbye at the same time as the other person.
And then I feel as if I need to say another goodbye at the end of that.
In the past on another station, we did a whole text thing all about annoying telephone habits.
Yeah.
One of them being people who say yellow.
Yellow, like you.
Beep stuff like that.
That's a whole lot of conversation Here we go.
Here's one from you in an Edinburgh people who hear strange noises outside will always go outside to look Instead of keeping safe indoors and always turn the light on and then look out the window I once heard knocking on my bedroom window at 4 a.m.
One morning and
I put the light on and looked out the window.
I couldn't see as it was pitch dark outside and I had the light on.
I went outside to check it out and found my upstairs neighbour hanging out the window with a rope banging against my window.
It was a bit weird, the knocking freaked me out, but I went outside.
I should have read that one through properly before reading it out, shouldn't I?
It's just gibberish.
But there's a point in there somewhere which is that you do... We've got a better one to illustrate the fact that you do go and investigate noises.
Whenever people are watching films and people investigate strange noises and it's a horror film, you sit there in your armchair and go... It'd never do that.
The fact is, you do.
Do you?
Yeah.
I ignore strange noises.
Do you?
Well, there's probably a lot more of them in your life than there are mine.
You've become jaded.
Maybe I've become a nude.
How about this, when you go into the kitchen at night, like, do you just use the light from the fridge to illuminate your business?
What business exactly are you doing in the kitchen at night?
Who knows, you can do whatever you like, no one's gonna find you.
an alarming thought.
Well, of course everyone turns on the light.
I'm curious to know if there's anyone out there who uses the fridge as a light source.
Here's a good one from Rusty.
When I was a teen, I worked in a clothes shop.
I quit after a busy Christmas, but I was left out of the Christmas bonus.
I felt quite angry about it.
I had a shop floor face-off with my manager, and when I left, I pathetically knocked over some t-shirts.
Hey!
To the fourteen year old me, it felt like the greatest vindication of injustice ever.
Yeah, boy!
What's his name?
Rusty.
Good job, Rusty, that's great!
I bet he's a kind of genius man, I bet you.
Do you think?
Yes, it's a good name, Rusty.
That's great!
Kaz in Edinburgh says, when in New York on an art college trip, a group of us decided to try the local nightlife.
We split into two groups to take taxis to the venue.
The first group, which I wasn't in, was brutally murdered.
grabbed a yellow cab and drove off, just as we hailed our taxi and realised we didn't know the address.
So we jumped in and said, follow that cab, which felt very exciting, much more exciting than the club turned out to be.
That's good.
Thanks for that, Kaz.
Lots more.
I would like to hear from anyone who's found themselves in the ventilation system of a building.
Well, I think that's a fallacy because I don't think those ventilation pipes are strong enough to hold a person.
No, exactly.
You know, you'd just fall through.
Get up there crawling around.
Pushing the grill up from the top of your standing on a chair saying things like now what I know what it feels like to be a TV dinner Yeah with your life.
Have a little bit of fun a few laughs Let's read out some more of these after some more music.
This is MG MT.
They're so hot right now.
Is this one out?
This is out, right?
Is this doing well this song?
Yeah, my my girlfriend bought this.
Yeah
Is it annoying you?
Not really, but she bought it just because it's hot.
She likes this kind of thing, though.
She's a big flaming lips fan, isn't she?
She likes the lips, yeah.
And this is very reminiscent of the lip hose.
I don't approve of people who buy things just because of their hot, though.
The hotness.
Yeah.
That's fashion.
That's the nature of fashion.
Grumpy.
Have you seen Balls of Steel?
I love Dirty Sanchez.
Hey, would you mail your nose to this bit of wood?
Just during this song, I will.
That's Jim Noire with All Right.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music.
We've got more text donations coming up.
We've got the replay of Song Wars coming up as well in this last 45 minutes of the show.
Just to say, if you're a Jim Noire fan, Jim's going to be playing Ken Bruce Master with John Holmes later on this afternoon here on Six Music.
And that track All Right, which of course came out as an EP last year, which is a smash, isn't it?
I mean, I love it.
It's an absolute peach.
That comes out on the, that's part of the album that's coming out.
called Welcome Commander Jameson.
It's out on the 14th of April, which I've been listening to.
I got an advance copy the other day, and it's really cool.
Oh, how could you?
It's a very good advance copy.
Very good indeed.
So I strongly recommend you pick that one up when it's available for mortal.
Mere mortals.
Mere mortals exactly.
So yes, we're going to do some more textination.
We're going to do that now or after the next track.
Let's do it now.
Oh, do you want me to do this?
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email, is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
Text the Nation this week, of course, is movie cliches that have come true in your life, moments in life when you felt like you were in a film.
This one's from Lucien Brown.
Do you think that would be a lady?
Lucien?
I would think it was a man.
I-E-N-E.
Oh, Lucien, that would be a lady, wouldn't it?
Okay, Lucien, you are now a lady.
Once when I was at work, my American boss stormed into the office and shouted, So Lucy, seems like you want to play hardball.
It's not an American accent, I'll do that in American.
And shouted, So Lucy, seems like you want to play hardball.
Which was quite like a movie.
I don't think I responded properly, though.
She was very angry with me, and I think I just blushed and stammered.
I wonder what job she was doing.
I don't know.
I was working at McDonald's.
Yes, I'd like to go out for a game later on.
Would you like to come too?
Callum says, I once walked through Montmartre in Paris carrying a baguette.
That's, uh, that's not so bad.
If you'd been on a bicycle with a beret and some onions round your neck... I think you need a brown paper bag with one or two baguettes sticking out the top, don't you?
That's just a general I've been shopping signifier in films.
Yeah, I think, you know, the French do tend to eat a lot of baguettes as well, so... Mike says when I was in Leicester as a student I had to break into my own room not with a credit card, but with a fish slice.
A fish slice?
What, a slice of fish?
No, something used to slice fish.
Oh, a fish slice?
Yes.
He should have tried getting in with some fish.
Dennis Simon says, Guys, I was driving going back to work one day and one of the two roads into our trading estate was closed off by the police.
The police officer told me that the road was shut and I'd need to drive through town to the other entrance.
Not really wanting to do this, I told the officer, let me through, god damn it!
I've got a gas emergency and need to get to the Plum Centre!
The Plum Centre!
He then let me through, moving the barrier and waving me on while nodding his head at me.
I may not have said god damn it!
Uh, and I would have probably been more polite, but I don't think anyone has ever had to get to the Plummer's Merchant in a film, but I felt like Bruce Willis when I did it.
Yeah, exactly.
Is the point.
Be nice to push through some cops and say, let me through!
Flasher back!
That's my husband in there, or something like that.
You had a friend who carried round a pretend police badge, didn't you?
When we were teenagers?
No, you're thinking about me.
Isn't there someone who put- you knew who pretended to be a detective?
And would occasionally flash this thing in his wallet?
No, I tell you what I did though, is I used to carry around my dad's press card.
And I used to pretend to be a member of the press when I was about 15.
And I'd taken my dad's photograph, because he worked at the Sunday Telegraph for many years, and he had a really cool looking press card that said press in big red letters on it.
So I removed his photograph and substituted it with my stupid face.
I used to go around flashing that every now and again in cinema cues and things to try and get to the front.
I think it worked once.
Do you not remember?
No.
I think we got to the front of a queue at the Scala or something to see some all-nighter because I was a member of the press.
Here's one from Rob Gold.
G-A-U-L-D, Gold.
I think I have a slow connection between my eyes and brain, and hence I'm always doing big movie-style double takes.
First I look at something with a plain expression, look away, and then upon realising what I've just seen, look back with a shocked expression.
Sometimes, maybe really early in the morning, I may even do a triple take, which, as you might imagine, looks quite ridiculous.
That's excellent.
Yeah.
Who's that from Mike Gold?
Yeah.
Rob.
Thanks for Rob.
And here's another very good one from Richard O'Brien.
Who's in Bournemouth?
Not me, Richard O'Brien.
Dunno, could be.
I had a magi in Bournemouth training to be a pilot and we spend all of our days playing volleyball in nothing but aviator shades and stonewash cut-off denim jeans in a homoerotic manner.
We also ride motorbikes without helmets down runways and have arguments in the shower when we're not in the air giving meeks the bird.
You're lucky, Richard.
Sounds sexy, doesn't it?
Let's read some more of those out after this next track.
Now, I've chosen this one for you listeners, and this is tied into the fact that I saw Jonathan Demme's new film this week, and it's not the one about Richard Nixon.
It's an even newer one than that.
It had the working title Dancing with Shiva, but now it is apparently called Here Today, and it's all shot on HD, and it's got
That lady from the Princess Diaries in it what she called Anne Hathaway.
Yeah, she's very good and it's all set at a wedding and it's very emotional and it's an amazing ensemble movie and like all Jonathan Demme's films has a lot of fantastic music in it and it stars a guy called Tunde who is in the band called TV on the radio which indie fans will be familiar with and
And he's very good in this film, and there's one brilliant scene where he sings to his wife at this kind of unconventional wedding, and he sings Unknown Legend by Neil Young, just a cappella.
And it reminded me what a wonderful song it is.
You're into the album, right?
Harvest Moon?
Yeah, I'm going to see him in some farming Kent.
Oh, yeah.
in a couple of months.
That'll be good.
Neil Young, we saw him in Japan in Tokyo though.
He was brilliant.
He was amazing.
We saw him at the Fuji Rock Festival, didn't we?
Yeah, he's very talented.
He's terrific on guitar.
He's good on guitar.
Well, he divides people.
You know, some people can't stand Neil Young.
Oh, come along.
They don't like his wine.
Come along.
Three things you have to love, otherwise you're an idiot.
Yeah.
Neil Young.
Dirty Sanchez.
Balls of Steel.
and you know this song is called Unknown Legend and some of the imagery is sort of amusing and I can't tell if he's being ironic or not like all about a blonde lady riding a Harley Davidson in the desert but it's moving stuff I like it sounds like a movie cliche enjoy young nose
That was Neil Young, unknown legend from his album Harvest Moon, which is great.
That was one of those albums he came out with fairly late on in his career at the beginning of the 90s, I think, and surprised everybody by really pulling it out of the bag in a fantastic way.
Really?
Is that what happened at the press conference?
Yeah.
This bag is empty.
Look inside the bag.
Ladies and gentlemen.
And now look, an album.
Neil Young.
With his bag.
A bit of magic.
Exactly.
So this week, listeners, I went to see an art exhibition.
Yeah, let's raise the level of this conversation a bit.
At the Royal Academy here in London, it's called From Russia.
French and Russian master paintings, 1870 to 1925.
It's a very controversial exhibition.
Adam, why is that?
Well, because the Russians were worried about getting insurance for some of the...
dramatic row.
you become a better person.
It's true, actually genetically, biologically, things reorganise inside your head and you become more appreciative of beauty, more sensitive and more intelligent.
Like balls of steel.
And sexy.
Very like balls of steel.
The show.
Anyway, and it made me just think about the whole experience of going to galleries and how nice it is and how it's something everyone should do every few months.
because it's quite a unique and special experience for the following reasons.
Yeah.
Reason number one, looking at ladies.
I was going to say that's way.
And this was both ways, depending whichever way your bits and bobs swing.
Just there is a unified sexiness to anybody who's even vaguely sexy in a gallery.
I haven't articulated that very well, but by the very fact that they're in the gallery.
Exactly.
That elevates their base level of attractiveness.
Yeah, it may not think if there's
someone who's physically attractive but yet they're in a gallery, then you know at least two boxes are ticked.
Physically attractive.
That's right.
Mentally decent.
Do you know what I mean?
Absolutely.
No, I mean, you know, art school girls, they're the hottest girls in the world.
It's the best place to go to pick people up in the world.
And yeah, and they're all hanging out at the galleries there.
I know, and they looked really, you know, they looked mysterious and because they're not speaking as well a lot of the time.
Especially in this particular exhibition, a lot of Russian prostitutes.
Eat so now I'm just guessing but there were more single women in fur coats with really pinched cheeks Yeah, there was this one particular woman.
She had like silver knee-length boots a fur coat on
under it you know like one of those prozzies isn't it is that a good word to use at this time in the morning no one of those ladies of the night in a film they always they've always got fur coats with nothing on under under them yeah and she had like silver eyeliner and a top knot and she looked a bit like Tilda Swinton like that very very pinched cheeks have you been to art school ever is that what all the girls look like there they all look like yeah she's from the fashion department anyway that's thing number one sexy ladies stroke men
Number two, uh, is a more annoying thing but the headsets.
The people with the headsets.
Right.
Now I never get the headsets.
The kind of Walkman that you can get and it'll guide you round the paintings.
I'm sure it's very informative.
The only reason I don't get them is because I can't be bothered to queue up to get them in the first place.
Right.
But I bet they're brilliant.
I like to go around the exhibition at my own speed.
Using your mind?
Yeah, and read the little thing, maybe, and, you know, have the pictures unencumbered by facts.
You know I dislike facts.
Yeah, we both get in the way.
We both love facts.
Gets in the way of freedom and creativity.
That's true, isn't it?
Knowledge.
Who cares about it?
But they annoy me in galleries, the people with the headsets, because they behave like people who go shopping with their iPods in.
They're just unaware of the space around them.
They barge into you.
They have to move at the pace set by the player.
So they tend to disrespect the natural flow of the ground.
I go shopping with my iPod in.
I don't like you.
Well, I don't barge into anyone.
I'm very cautious.
Number three is another annoying thing about galleries.
The fact that when you enter the gallery, you're sort of randomly placed with a knot of people.
And you sort of stay with them for the rest of the exhibition, do you know what I mean?
Yes.
There's a sort of unspoken bond between you and eight or ten other people, and you move from painting to painting with each other.
Right.
You never speak to each other.
Ooh, don't you just suddenly rush on, maybe skip a room and then come back to it later on?
Yeah, but they always, you always find, they always gravitate back towards you.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, pushchairs, children in galleries.
What have you got against children in galleries?
Well, they just can't don't appreciate the art.
They're too young.
And so many parents bring these tiny kids to, to, to like exhibitions like this one.
And now's a toddler supposed to, you know, understand shagal.
But what's your problem, though?
Are they causing upset?
Well, they just look bored.
I feel sorry for them.
They're touching things and moaning and crying.
I just feel sorry for them.
I took my young son to an exhibition once ages ago, but it was a big sculpture thing with massive touchability.
Yeah, and he had a pretty good time.
He got bored after a little while, but I think it's certainly if you're a new parent, if it's your first child and they're young, you think, I'm gonna do all the things that I never did with my parents.
Start improving them.
Exactly.
I'm gonna make them, give them a rich cultural life, and you take them to the gallery, you never do it again.
Next thing.
Thing number five, bench sitting.
Oh, that bench.
Probably in about the fourth room.
Oh, the leather bench.
You love the bench.
Have a nice sit down.
Yes.
After being on your pegs for so long.
Don't you like sitting on the bench?
I never do.
Do you never sit down on the bench?
No.
Never have a sit down.
You're an idiot.
What do you do when you sit down?
Resting your bum bum.
Yeah.
The shop?
I love the shop.
Well, the shop is a genius place to go before Christmas as well, because it's a bit more off the beaten track.
Very nice.
put them in a drawer and have a look at them ever again.
Well you know what happens sometimes is that I buy like a few postcards and I'll be thinking it'd be good to have them just to write thank you letters and stuff like that but I only get postcards of things I really like and I just think oh I can't send that one because that's too cool for him you know I just want to say a thank you to my accountant or whatever she can't have the really nice Jeff Coons silver-plated rabbit thing I want to keep that one
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I do know what you're saying.
So yeah, you do tend to accumulate just lots of wicked postcards.
But they're nice to pin on the wall of your office or whatever.
They're terribly cliched though, aren't they?
Postcard of great art.
There's nothing more worthless.
But they seem so valuable in the shop because they're next to the real thing.
It's nice.
Well, you should take them out of the drawer and stick them back on your walls or whatever.
Stick you back on my walls or whatever.
It's news time.
Here is the news read by Rachel Matthews.
And then...
And then dooby dooby doo da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
If you've only just tuned in... What are you doing?
Yeah, what are you doing?
How kind of a person are you?
Well, they're tuning in for Liz Kershaw, I suppose.
Really?
And they're, uh... They hate us.
...inheriting a little unwelcome bit of us.
Oh, God.
Please do for 20 minutes.
Text the Nation this week is all about movie cliches that have come true in your life.
Have you found yourself in a situation where you realise that the life's turned into a film?
A bad film.
At that.
Or maybe a good one.
Uh, here are some texts what have come in.
Viv in Dundee says, I don't have sex.
I just kick up one leg when I kiss people.
Yeah.
Uh, I'd love to see someone actually doing that.
That way I avoid all the nasty diseases and have been given a you certificate.
Why do women do that?
Why do they kick up their legs?
It's a special muscle that's connected to mystery bits.
Here is another one from Rhea in Cardiff talking film cliches I have never hugged a friend stroke lover Whom I'm about to deceive and then done an evil mysterious face over their shoulder as she's saying she hasn't done that But that's a good suggestion for a simple movie cliche.
We can all employ at some point today Yeah, hug a friend and then go
...over their shoulder.
Yeah.
There needs to be someone watching you.
It's a bit pointless if there's nobody watching you.
Yes.
But, uh, yeah.
Little sarky face.
It's not very nice.
No, no, you do it to yourself.
I mean, sometimes when you're on your own and you're frustrated by someone, you'll just, when they turn their back, you'll go...
You know?
Your own benefit.
I don't do that myself.
Again, you don't make the noise, otherwise you will get busted.
Yeah.
Marcus says, if with drink in hand I spot something unexpected or see an incredulous incident, I will take an exaggerated look at my glass, then look back to the spectacle.
An incredulous incident?
Well, so the incident itself is incredulous.
Yeah.
And that's what he said.
I'm clearly reading it verbatim.
I'm reporting the facts.
Right.
That's the sort of spy who loved me moment when the underwater car comes out of the water.
But the old Alki man looks at his bottle and throws it away.
There was another one in Moonraking as well.
Happens in a lot of films.
I think it happens in more or less every vlog.
Everything with Roger Morin.
Here's another one from Matt in Lancaster.
My wife's on holiday in France, so I'm home alone.
The other night I went to investigate a strange noise outside, wearing only boxer shorts and a t-shirt and muttering, what the hell?
Have we not had this one?
Don't think so.
This is a different sort of twist on it.
He hasn't found his mate hanging.
I realised that I was a walking horror film cliche so I ran back inside in case I got eaten by something.
The noise turned out to be the cat being a maniac anyway.
Another example.
This is the reason why I've read it out of people behaving like they're in horror films.
Yes.
I believe that cliche is true.
Well, what, going to investigate noises in your undies?
Yeah, I think you do investigate noises in your undies.
Yeah.
And it's just happens to me.
I investigate noises in your undies.
If you're an attractive woman in your investigating a noise, it's just better, that's all.
Yeah.
Right?
Why?
To watch.
Yeah.
Yes.
This is from Lebby!
I once saw LL Cool J on telly, picking up the phone and saying, talk to me.
When I was about 12, in my best LL Cool J accent, I did it.
A friendly neighbour was on the other end and she sounded very confused.
That's a good way to, again, get a movie cliche into your daily life.
It's risky, you never know who's gonna be, Aunty Noreen or someone embarrassing.
Like that?
Talk to me, I like the idea of a 12 year old.
Talk to me!
It's a higher voice.
Oliver in Hackney says, while live role playing, we were attacking an orc stronghold, and I led the troops in shouting, everybody go go go!
Very cliched, but it felt very good.
I don't know why I did you an unbroken voice there Oliver, it just seemed appetite.
Also, once in a club, I saw a girl I like the look of on the other side of the dance floor.
So I clicked my fingers, pointed at her and jerked my thumb in my direction.
She came over.
I nearly pooped myself.
But I pulled it off.
That's amazing.
That seems like a good place to end it, man.
It can't get better than that, surely.
Who was that from?
That was from Oliver in Hackney.
Fantastic.
Thank you so much for all your texts and emails.
Fine man, that's fine.
on on the subject well i was gonna say joe thank you so much because you made them come alive so i made them all up you know he really did get one from a guy in brickston who works in ventilation pipes in buildings oh so he says they do support the body's weight but you come out all filthy yeah of course he says that they never show you that in the films no um well thank you very much indeed for all your absolutely fine emails you can only do that once though
It's a... Well, that joke, yes.
No, but look, I did it twice.
I know, I noticed that.
We're gonna do song wars again as well after this.
Our Kate Nash songs are gonna get another airing after the beginning of Twist by the Future Heads.
You will win the song wars today Perhaps it will be had or it will be chose You will be the one who decides by texting or repaying when you hear the clips
Yes, it's Song Wars time, and this week's Song Wars challenge was to write a Kate Nash style song whilst using the Stylophone.
Uh, Adam didn't use the Stylophone, but that's alright.
The challenge was to write a Kate Nash song, and the Stylophone was an optional writer.
Okay.
I won't press that button again.
No.
Um, so, my song's gonna go first.
My song's called Itchy Bum.
It's very short.
We're gonna hear a bit of Kate first, though, aren't we?
Just to remind ourselves.
Oh yeah, he's the real Kate Nash.
Watching me like you never watched No one, don't tell me that you didn't Try and check out my bum, cause I know that you did Cause your friend told me that you liked it
Enough, that's enough, isn't it?
I mean, it's terribly good, but that reminds you, you know, the general feel of a Kate Nash song.
That's all you need to know.
We've sort of fixated on her use of the word bum.
She does do a lot of drinking in the songs, though, doesn't she?
She's very real.
She does what kids do, drink only.
But you know, she has a bum.
Are you going to be playing live stylophone again?
I don't know, maybe.
That's exciting.
I hope not.
Here's my one, it's called Itchy Bum.
Yeah, this is Joe's song, Itchy Bum.
In my bedroom, watching telly I eat another slice of cheese on toast And think about how crap you are I've been thinking for an hour now And I can conclude that you are rubbish And you don't deserve to hear me sing This wicked song about my complicated personal problems Including the fact that we are
Now I'm sitting at the bus stop My head is full of tissues My body's full of tissues I wish that I could have a lion bar But I cannot afford it And it would make me squatty All over my body That's just another one of the complicated problems I'm gonna put into my next wicked song, darling
There we go, that's Joe's Kate Nash song.
If you like that one, vote on 6th... Oh no, you're not allowed to do the text!
Vote Joe to AdamandJoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk And you can vote throughout the week if you're listening again.
The votes stay open until this time next week when we'll reveal the winner on the live show next Saturday.
Now here's my Kate Nash song, which is actually pretty much based on Mary Happy that you heard a little snatch of there just before Joe's.
And mine is called Bums and Binge Drinking.
Thanks for watching!
I was a bit depressed today So I started thinking about Binge drinking around three o'clock So I went and done a little knock On the door of my best friend Mandy And my boyfriend Andy He was Randy I could tell cause he kept looking at my bum Rocky was some kind of pervy bum fan Bums and binge drinking Binge drinking and bums
When I get depressed I like to go binge drinking with my chums Why are you depressed said Mandy But not Andy When we was at the shops Buying alcohol pops Mandy never stops asking me questions like that So I told her Mandy it's the media They make my bum feel fat I have to go binge drinking
And binge drinking, binge drinking and bums.
Oh my gosh I was so drunk that night I threw up on Andy and we had a big fight and Mandy puked And then we had a meal, and later on we all watched balls of steel Then I felt quite happy, then I was sad And I thought I wonder how many gents I've had And then I threw up, and then I passed out It was so embarrassing my bum was hanging out
I get depressed, I like to go
There you go, that's Adam's Kate Nash song.
If you like that one, vote Adam.
Bums and Binge Drinking.
And, uh, yes.
The email is adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
It's hugely important that if you have any feelings towards either of those songs, you express them with a vote.
It's massively important.
Exactly, because it makes a mockery of the whole thing.
If we only get 16 votes in,
and Joe wins by like 99%, then I just can't take the whole thing seriously, you know what I mean?
Yeah, and as you know, Adam takes it very seriously.
You take it seriously.
The way you came in there.
All the votes will be counted, of course, by our lovely broadcasting assistant man-lady or whoever it is that week.
You know, it's the big, big, big, big, big, big British castle.
Everything's done amazingly rigorously.
It's very emotional this week.
And I'd like to say what respect that's given me
for Kate Nash.
I think she's won the song wars.
We both tried, we both thought it would be easy to sort of, you know, dash off a lampoon of her.
It's not easy.
At least it takes a little longer than we thought.
Yes.
I think it's impossible.
No, it is hard.
I think she's got a uniqueness that I dislike.
A dislikeable uniqueness.
Here's a great band.
Did you choose this one?
Yeah, this is a British funk band from the 70s.
They're pretty famous.
They're touring again, you know.
Are they?
Yeah.
Yeah, good for them.
This is one of their most famous tracks, Brothers on the Slide by... What's the band called?
No, it's The Message by... Is it?
No, that's not the one I requested.
Is it not?
This is a good one, though.
yes very good song here it is
Now, wait a second, Jude.
Mysterious things going on.
This has been edited, Adam, you reckon, as a bed for someone?
I would say so, yeah.
Not only is it not the track I ordered from the big British musical cafe, but it's been all messed around with.
Jude did warn us.
She was out carousing last night.
That's the second week running there's been a boo-boo on my free plays.
I think I should win song wars automatically as a result.
No, you can see him now.
20 extra votes.
Is it possible?
Yes.
20 extra votes.
Wait here.
Dude, is it possible to drag in the other track?
It's not in there.
And there's two versions of the message.
One is labelled there, but that's the other one.
We could do a live version of it.
£350 a week?
This is the live version of Brothers on the Slide.
Yeah, Acapulco.
Acapella.
Brothers on the Slide.
Well, let's play it next week anyway.
Joe should have more plays next week to make up for it.
How about that?
Well, we've got a trail instead.
Shkarmakoma!
Alright then, let's play Massive Attack.
This is Karmakoma.
What is he on about?
Karmakoma, Karmakoma, Karmakameleon.
That's Massive Attack.
And that is pretty much the end of our show, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you so much for listening.
Yeah, thanks to everybody who's texted and emailed, and we'll be back with you at the same time next week, 9am till 12 noon here on BBC Six Music.
Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw.
Have a good week.
Bye.