WEBVTT

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Hello and welcome to the Big British Castle.

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It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio.

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There'll be some music and some random talking in between.

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Adam and Joe on Six Music.

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That is wicked, man.

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That is thanks.

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Yeah, well done.

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Thanks.

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It's a cover.

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That's a cover that I wrote and recorded, Joe Cornish of The Wanna Dies, the You and Me song.

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I decided to make it exactly like the original.

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It's amazing.

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I really, I spent days and days perfecting every nuance.

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Yeah.

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So that it sounded just like the original in a kind of Gus Van Sant remaking psycho sort of a way.

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Like an art project.

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An art project, yeah.

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It's very successful.

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That's gonna be released directly into the catalog shelves of the record stores under W for Wanna Dies.

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And you've recreated the artwork.

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The artwork, everything.

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It's identical, but I make all the money.

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You get all the money from it.

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That's good man because they've got too much money They have to hit the hitch with all that is none of its true right and this being the big British castle We can't lie so we made it a lie joke you can do a little funny lie joke But then you have to take the word lie joke back immediately most jokes

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to this shop therefore we have to every stupid thing we say we have to uh you know follow it up and we say a lot of stupid things yeah we have to follow it up with a statement of fact also we say a lot of things that are just erroneous and we don't even realize that as well that's the other thing just rubbish incorrect facts we like to come out with it's fun because the people from the guinness book of records listen and it gives them good fact checking practice the McWerters are any of them at work another school with us both the McWerters have passed away sadly yeah

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But their offspring listen, and it keeps their brains ticking over.

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You know, I've got a fun fact from a few weeks ago.

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I was listening back to some of our shows for reasons which I won't go into right now, but I found a thing that we got wrong a few weeks ago that I'd like to correct in this show.

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So that's coming up later.

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Brilliant.

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It's exciting, isn't it?

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There's sure to be more mistakes coming up later.

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Yeah, yeah.

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So you can look forward to them and then look forward to the corrections in the following shows.

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So much to look forward to.

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And maybe weeks in advance.

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Yeah.

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It might not be for weeks that we correct it.

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But in a second, listeners, we're going to be revealing the winner of last week's song wars.

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We've got lots of chit-chat coming up for you.

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Plus, terrific music.

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I'm really looking forward to playing you some, I've forgotten his name now, Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland... Erland...

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What are you looking forward to playing the listeners, Adam?

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Well, I've got Erland Oyer.

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He is from... Where is he from?

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He used to be in the Kings of convenient.

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Yes.

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And they are from that place, Sweden.

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I've got a Sweden band as well.

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Suburban kids with biblical names.

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And I've also got the band that gave them their name.

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The song that inspired their name.

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So it's all sort of connected in a way.

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I've got a third song which has got nothing to do with either of those two.

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So lots of great music coming up here on the Adam and Jo Radio Show on BBC Six Music, but right now, here's, uh, Santagold with Les Arteists.

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Santagold with LES Arteists, uh, so that's a, um, LES stands for Lower East Side.

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Does it?

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Lower East Side Arteist.

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It's all about, you know, Bonvivers and Arteists in, in New York.

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Ooh.

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Is that where they're from?

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What's it like in New York?

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I don't know, I've never been there, but apparently the buildings are tiny.

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Very narrow and squat.

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And the people are very thin and small and poor and they're furious.

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The cars are all blue.

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And the roads are very narrow.

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What kind of taxis do they have taxis?

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Yeah, they do.

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They have orange taxis, round, perfectly round orange taxis.

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With the word taxi spelled in balloons.

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Is that true?

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What do you mean spelled in balloons?

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Like they've made balloons into the word taxi.

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That's right, that's right, that's right.

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They're helium balloons.

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It takes ages to maintain them all.

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Everybody speaks German.

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Do they really?

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What an amazing place, I'd love to go.

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If there's any New York people listening.

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Are those facts correct?

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Some of them are, come on, some of them have got to be.

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That's what it says in Encyclopedia.

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Yeah, that's what it says in Wikipedia.

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It says weasel words next to the balloon thing.

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What does that mean?

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You know, in Wikipedia, when you get something that's clearly unsubstantiated, it says brackets weasel words.

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Really?

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Yeah.

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It's just quite a good phrase, isn't it?

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Weasel's a very distrustful.

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I mean basically we we just speak in this is the weasel word show.

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That's all we do is speak in weasel words.

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So last week's Song Wars listeners was a battle of songs about festivals.

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Mine was about Glastonbury Adams was a broader sort of festival song.

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It was about the kind of posture end of the festival going experience.

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The general consensus just having a look at a lot of the emails is that mine was lyrically poor but maybe musically

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Possibly a little bit better.

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Well you had that amazing middle eight, the trippy middle eight.

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I wasn't that amazing.

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Not sure it was amazing.

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I liked it, it was impressive.

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Thank you.

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But generally the listeners seem to think that yours was lyrically superior.

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I'd probably agree with them.

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I had more lyrics.

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More lyrics.

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Maybe a cleverer angle.

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A less obvious angle.

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I need to think a bit more just generally.

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So we'll reveal the results of Song Wars after the next record, why not?

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Yeah, now this is a track that I've chosen for you listeners, which I've played before.

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I played it on Stephen Merchant's show when I was a guest on there, but it's a different show though, isn't it?

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Maybe some of our listeners won't have heard it and they'll enjoy it.

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And this is by Silver Jews.

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That's a good name for a band, I think.

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And that's one of the great names for a band.

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And this guy, I always forget, he's got a pavement connection.

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Uh, I think he's just friends with Stephen Malcolmus, who plays on this album.

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Maybe some of our listeners can correct me if I'm wrong about that.

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But this is an album called American Water, and he's a brilliant, sort of, non-singer, this guy.

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He's also a great lyricist, and this is a track called People.

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Enjoy, which, and this track, incidentally, gives its name, one of the lyrics in here, gives its name to the band Suburban Kids, with biblical names, who we'll be playing later on in the show.

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This is Silver Jews with People.

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That sounds to me as if Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs decided to launch a music career.

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That might be the kind of song he might compose between putting lotion in buckets.

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I'm tucking his old dodge between his thighs and doing a dance.

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At one stage, the lyrics of that song said something about, I like seeing rainbows in water hoses.

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In a garden hose.

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In a garden hose.

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And then... Lit up like the blood of a centrefold.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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What's going on there?

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That's just a little metaphor.

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Who knows what that means?

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I think I know what it means.

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Do you?

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I think that letter should, er, that song should be sent to the police.

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He's got amazing lyrics in there.

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People ask people to watch their scotch.

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People send people up to the moon when they return.

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Well, there isn't much.

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People be careful not to crest too soon.

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That's good.

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He should, er, do a duet with Martin Fry.

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They've got a new album at ABC.

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I know.

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I saw their new single on iTunes.

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I wonder if that's any good.

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Come on, he's a genius.

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Yeah.

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Uh, Stephen Maltmus is in the American Water Band.

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American Water is the name of that album, the Silver Jews album.

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And he is one of the players on there.

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You can hear his backing vocals on that track, which is called People.

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The guy's name is D.C.

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Berman.

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I don't know what D.C.

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stands for.

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But he's brilliant.

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And that was the Silver Jews.

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Now, let's resolve Song Wars.

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It's time for Song Wars.

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The War of the Songs.

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A couple of tunes by

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Yes, it's time to reveal the winner of this week's Song Wars.

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It was Festival Songs.

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Adam wrote a song called The Festival Song, right?

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Yeah, we shouldn't really go into the names because they're so feeble and mine was called The Glastonbury Song.

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One or two people have emailed in Adam to say that your song sounded quite similar to the theme for the 70s detective series Van der Volk.

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Oh yes, yes that's possible.

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Which was known as eye level.

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Cross between the theme to Only Fools and Horses.

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Someone else said it was a bit like the theme to Lovejoy as well.

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So you've also got a 70s detective thing.

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You know I've never watched an episode of any of those shows.

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Really?

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I can say with my hand on my heart.

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And you're in by saying that you're defending yourself from in any way cribbing them for your song wars Which is an outlandish thought that you'd go to van der Volk.

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Yeah inspiration for your song Well, no, there's a possibility obviously that it might have seeped into my subconscious and be leaking out through my song all sorts of things seep into yourself Strange liquids dripping

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in there.

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But no, as far as I'm aware, Your Honour, I don't think, uh, I consciously predict it.

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I'm guessing, I'm guessing you've won.

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I'm guessing I've got... It's got to be close.

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No, I don't think so.

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I think it's going to be like maybe 75.

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If it's not close, then there's no justice.

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Yes, it's 75.25.

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To Adam!

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So let's hear Adam's song again.

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This is called The Festival Song.

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Please leave a message after the tone.

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Gaz Man, it's the Julienator.

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Just to let you know, I bought the tickets in Sludgefest, as well as Chillax, Wicker World, the Inoffensive Electronic Festival, Wet Weekend, and Pims in the Park with Timbukh 3 Headlining.

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Drops a text if you think I've missed any.

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Cheers ears.

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Load up the four by four, it's festival time We're stuffing the chill bag with nibbles and wine We're going to sleep inside a collapsible yard We've got a nurse in case anybody gets hurt

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Festivals used to be awful, just crusties and weirdo groups.

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There was nowhere to charge your mobile and nowhere nice for doing poops.

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Now they're often in stately homes with global cuisine as ace.

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And you can leave the kids in a really nice crash while you get off your face.

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look kids that's Keith Allen that's Lily Allen's dad he's been coming since the 50s and apparently he's really mad and over there that's Katie Moss that's right that crazy drug is X let's ask her if she'll join us for a boogie and some sex

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We've got some chill pills, some wizwahs and a gram of some stuff But I'm a little bit worried, that won't be enough So could you call Jemima and ask her to bring a bit of rice Some jelly and a big ball of string And don't forget the Baroque and the yoga mats too Because there's going to be healing and yoga too

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a blow from Tibet who can teach us to breathe and after that we'll see Moby then we'll probably leave load up a four by four it's festival time we're starting

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I've got van der Volk in my head now.

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Yeah it is not entirely dissimilar.

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That's van der Volk isn't it?

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Yeah.

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Yeah it's the same isn't it.

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That's the winning Song Wars song composed by Adam Buxton and we're excited to tell you that pretty soon an album called Song Wars Volume 1 will appear in various digital music outlets not for a few weeks or months.

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What are you saying there?

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Uh, and so that'll be exciting.

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We're working on it now.

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Mmm.

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They're being specially buffed up.

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All the first, what, we're gonna put something like 24 songs on it?

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There's gonna be a lot of stuff on there.

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It'll be very cheap.

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It'll be cheap and cheerful and it'll all sound shiny.

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There'll be some extra songs on there.

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Bonus tracks.

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Could've never been heard before.

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But forget about that for now if you're interested because it's not gonna happen for a little while.

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Yeah, we'll tell you more about it as and when things develop further.

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We've got to figure out what we're gonna do for next week's Song Wars.

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Yes.

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So, listeners, if you have any suggestions, the festival suggestion was brilliant.

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I don't remember who suggested that.

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But that's a perfect kind of subject for Song Wars.

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And it wasn't too hard to come up with stuff, was it?

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Uh, no.

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It was fairly easy.

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Yeah.

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So, if you've got an idea for next week's Song Wars, do text it to 64046 or email Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.

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But now, to clear the air, like a squirt of Febreze, is a delightful trail.

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Always nice to hear that song.

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That's Echo and the Bunnymen with seven C's.

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Our producer Jude was a little bit worried that they're... kissing the tortoise shell might be a little kind of filthy euphemism for something.

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That had never crossed my mind!

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Because I always just imagined... Well, it did cross your mind just then though, didn't it?

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Well, after she mentioned it... Well, you're the one that suggested it.

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Yeah, but I put two and two together as our listeners might like to do if they're that way inclined.

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You know, they can choose to ignore it and then they'll be none the wiser or they can think about what that might be.

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I just think it's kissing a tortoise.

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Well, if you're a child or a young person or even an adult and you've got a pet tortoise, I just have a pet tortoise.

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He was called torty.

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Was he?

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Yeah.

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No, he wasn't really.

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He was called torty.

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Torty?

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Like a cake.

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One day he disappeared and you know this kind of story.

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A couple of weeks later, my mum had a bonfire.

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Aww.

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Tortee didn't run.

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One of the most shocking moments of my childhood.

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He ran out and he was on fire.

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Tortoises can't run.

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Can they not?

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Not even if they're on fire.

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He was walking very slowly.

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No, he didn't manage to emerge from the bonfire unfortunately.

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And you just found his shell.

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Yeah.

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Well, yeah, it was like a burnt house.

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You know, the ground floor was still intact, but the upper floors.

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It was awful, wasn't it?

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That is terrible.

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What you need is Ian McCulloch to come round.

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He could have kissed the tortoise shell.

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That would have revived it.

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I think maybe that's what inspired that song.

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It's dedicated to torty.

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This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

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Time now for the news read by Nicky Cardwell.

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That's the Wombats Backfire at the Disco.

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This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music on a Saturday morning.

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Do you think the Wombats are known to their friends as the Wombles?

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Uh, yeah, they are.

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They are.

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Mmm.

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This is only it's a short, uh, trip from there to actually dressing up as the Wombles.

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Yup.

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And appearing on top of the pops and then you are, to all intents and purposes, the Wombles.

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You can't do that without getting bat involved, though.

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A bat involved.

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Of course you wouldn't want to.

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Because he's the genius behind the Wombles.

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The batsman.

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The batsman, so that would be difficult.

15:19.517 --> 15:20.658
That would be expensive for the Wombles.

15:20.678 --> 15:21.759
He's a crazy kind of genius.

15:21.999 --> 15:23.440
A favourite you used to love, the Wombles.

15:23.480 --> 15:23.781
Didn't you?

15:24.621 --> 15:25.522
What makes you think that?

15:25.542 --> 15:27.203
You seem like a Womble person.

15:27.223 --> 15:28.484
I used to like watching the Wombles.

15:28.504 --> 15:33.486
But you thought- When I first went to Wimbledon Common as a child I was terrified that the Wombles would emerge from the undergrowth.

15:33.506 --> 15:34.927
Do you not have any of the albums?

15:35.568 --> 15:35.788
Yeah.

15:36.008 --> 15:37.008
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

15:37.309 --> 15:38.109
You love the Wombles.

15:38.149 --> 15:39.970
Yeah, and I had an Orinoco.

15:40.190 --> 15:40.731
I had one of them.

15:40.791 --> 15:41.791
And you used to dress up.

15:42.672 --> 15:44.193
And I used to dress up as a Womble.

15:45.273 --> 15:49.456
So, listeners, later on, after our show today, there's a camera crew.

15:50.376 --> 15:53.438
They make television programmes and they come round... Camera crews do.

15:53.538 --> 15:54.318
They've got cameras.

15:54.458 --> 15:58.340
Yeah, the camera crews, they wander around, they make up all these shows that you see on TV.

15:58.501 --> 16:01.902
They're like gangs, like crews that you get in the inner city, right?

16:01.962 --> 16:03.183
They just go round with cameras.

16:03.363 --> 16:04.804
Exactly, and they're assaulting people.

16:04.904 --> 16:07.667
The best camera crews, you know, they might assault someone really talented.

16:07.707 --> 16:13.873
They might get Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carter together and assault them and film them in a crazy kind of studio.

16:13.973 --> 16:14.974
And there you go.

16:14.994 --> 16:17.497
You've got BAFTA nominated joy there in a box.

16:18.618 --> 16:24.584
But the camera crew that we're dealing with today, they are making a promo for the culture show, I think.

16:25.359 --> 16:27.401
And it's the relaunch of the Culture Show.

16:27.601 --> 16:28.782
When is the Culture Show relaunching?

16:28.823 --> 16:32.686
It's sometime in June or thereabouts in the summertime.

16:33.427 --> 16:39.313
And they're getting a new presenter to join Lauren Laverne and all the regular team, I think.

16:40.334 --> 16:43.937
And we are going to say a few words about what culture means to us.

16:44.978 --> 16:45.698
That's right, isn't it?

16:46.179 --> 16:54.862
Yeah, I think it's similar to those Channel 4 identities where they get... Channel 4 faces from the channel to talk about a theme.

16:54.882 --> 16:55.062
Yeah.

16:55.262 --> 17:00.284
And we're not really faces from the channel so much as part of the BBC Extended Family, right?

17:00.404 --> 17:00.724
Yeah.

17:00.905 --> 17:04.426
Because we haven't... our faces haven't been on a tele for some time.

17:05.106 --> 17:08.208
But we are going to have to talk about culture.

17:08.928 --> 17:10.288
So what does culture mean to you?

17:10.308 --> 17:11.589
Have you got something worked out, Joe?

17:11.889 --> 17:12.349
Not really.

17:12.489 --> 17:13.890
I thought of the obvious things.

17:14.750 --> 17:16.731
The thing about taking a hoarder water.

17:16.751 --> 17:18.351
Do you remember that?

17:19.812 --> 17:20.752
Oh yeah, hoarder culture.

17:20.952 --> 17:22.053
Yeah, sorry, to culture.

17:22.353 --> 17:24.113
But you can't make her think.

17:24.474 --> 17:24.974
Right, right.

17:25.274 --> 17:26.494
Yeah, I thought of that one.

17:26.674 --> 17:27.475
Yeah, that's a good one.

17:27.575 --> 17:28.195
It's tricky though.

17:28.255 --> 17:30.196
How do you do that kind of thing and not sound really pretentious?

17:30.216 --> 17:31.456
Well, there's only two ways to go, isn't it?

17:31.476 --> 17:36.378
You can either be serious, in which case you're a ponce, unless you're very clever, which we aren't.

17:37.078 --> 17:37.879
Or you can be glib.

17:38.960 --> 17:39.861
I think we should go for glib.

17:39.881 --> 17:40.781
Yeah, we reckon.

17:40.962 --> 17:42.543
So we'd like your suggestions, listeners.

17:42.603 --> 17:47.127
Please text them 64046 of what we should say to the camera crew.

17:47.287 --> 17:49.468
But listen, they don't have to be glib suggestions.

17:49.709 --> 17:51.230
You know, we always welcome a glib suggestion.

17:51.250 --> 17:57.135
But if it's a serious suggestion about what culture means to you, then so much the better, because then then we might actually have something intelligent to say.

17:57.155 --> 17:58.115
What are they going to say to us?

17:58.136 --> 18:02.859
They'll sit us down and plop the camera down and then they'll just say, Come on, guys, talk about culture.

18:02.879 --> 18:03.520
What is culture?

18:03.740 --> 18:19.368
You mean to you I mean I was having this discussion with my wife last night So we all liked to talk about culture and she was saying that she didn't believe there was any such thing as really indigenous British culture Yeah, this is a serious conversation we had which I said were you talking about?

18:19.388 --> 18:29.273
There's loads of things that are typically British part of British culture and the only thing she could think of that was quintessentially British was Morris dancing right as the only one and

18:30.153 --> 18:34.194
Uh, you know, what about, uh... And I couldn't, I mean, I couldn't think of that many other things.

18:34.214 --> 18:39.656
I would say football is very much associated with British culture, but then it's a very global thing.

18:39.676 --> 18:40.856
Football as well, though, isn't it?

18:41.116 --> 18:42.737
Well, I'd say your wife is insane.

18:43.057 --> 18:44.437
Yeah, well, what do you, what would you come up with?

18:44.537 --> 18:50.359
Well, I'd come up with every writer, filmmaker, musician, classical composer.

18:50.379 --> 18:52.140
Yes, I know, but they're individual parts.

18:52.180 --> 18:56.001
Yes, but their work, when gathered together, is British culture.

18:56.881 --> 19:03.048
Every television program maker, every artist, every person who's created something.

19:03.168 --> 19:04.729
That's one way of looking at culture, though.

19:04.749 --> 19:05.590
There's many other ways.

19:05.630 --> 19:09.414
I mean, there's culture in a broader sense, and that's what she was talking about.

19:09.434 --> 19:10.535
This is what I'm going to be saying.

19:10.575 --> 19:14.159
And they're not going to be able to use it, because it's just going to turn into an argument.

19:15.504 --> 19:16.485
a long-winded argument.

19:16.525 --> 19:18.306
So we'd like to hear your suggestions anyway.

19:18.526 --> 19:26.371
What do you consider to be a part of, A, what makes up culture in the first place, and B, what do you think is part of British culture?

19:26.811 --> 19:30.554
Now this isn't a text the nation thing, I'm just curious about this, we can trickle this throughout the show.

19:30.594 --> 19:32.275
What about some kind of Yakult's joke?

19:33.095 --> 19:35.698
Yeah, well, I was thinking about saying something like that.

19:35.738 --> 19:38.682
Yeah, something about growing cultures and microbes.

19:39.262 --> 19:43.107
And, you know, Mark, what's his name with the quiff?

19:43.467 --> 19:43.847
Camode.

19:43.968 --> 19:45.690
Camode in a lab coat.

19:46.410 --> 19:46.811
Growing.

19:48.032 --> 19:51.373
Microscopes, that's what culture means to me.

19:51.953 --> 19:53.173
I was gonna say in that voice as well.

19:53.514 --> 19:54.714
That's good, it's gonna be good.

19:54.734 --> 19:55.734
It's gonna be exciting, isn't it?

19:56.114 --> 20:09.338
Now, I was in the lift today, and as I was coming up, my MP3 player, which was on shuffle mode, suddenly loudly started playing Coldplay, and I got a little bit embarrassed for a second.

20:09.478 --> 20:10.598
There's no reason for that, is there?

20:10.618 --> 20:15.200
It was a brilliant song, the scientist, wonderful, moving song, but it was just a knee-jerk reaction.

20:15.740 --> 20:16.780
It's pathetic, isn't it?

20:17.200 --> 20:18.441
Well, it is shallow.

20:18.481 --> 20:19.101
It is pathetic.

20:19.141 --> 20:24.183
But sometimes some Coldplay songs do trigger BBC sports montages in my head.

20:24.543 --> 20:28.525
You know, when they reach their emotional climax, I just think of a series of great goals.

20:28.705 --> 20:28.965
Yeah.

20:30.026 --> 20:30.686
And is that good?

20:30.826 --> 20:31.566
I suppose that's good.

20:31.926 --> 20:33.287
Yeah, if they're amazing goals.

20:33.587 --> 20:36.650
Yeah, or maybe somebody at the X Factor losing.

20:36.871 --> 20:37.131
Right.

20:37.451 --> 20:39.013
That's the other thing that Coldplay reminded me of.

20:39.033 --> 20:40.134
But I felt ashamed of myself.

20:40.154 --> 20:47.422
You know, I was in the lift, there was another person there, and I was thinking, oh, it would have been nice if it was something a bit more indie or obscure that they were hearing blaring out of my headphones.

20:48.183 --> 20:50.085
But instead it was The Scientist by Coldplay.

20:50.799 --> 20:55.901
But then they're very popular and extremely talented and they've got a new single that you can hear on George Lamb's show during the week.

20:55.961 --> 20:57.222
It's called Violet Hill.

20:58.283 --> 20:59.143
That sounds exciting.

20:59.203 --> 21:02.405
Tuesday about it gets its first airing on Tuesday, Violet Hill.

21:02.425 --> 21:05.666
Maybe it's a misprint and it's a violent Hill, maybe.

21:06.066 --> 21:07.387
But here's some old play.

21:07.647 --> 21:08.347
This is talk.

21:08.487 --> 21:17.692
That's an exciting new band called Coldplay with a very handsome lead singer with curly hair who is rumored to be going out with Connie Huck.

21:17.932 --> 21:19.353
– Connie Hock, that's true, isn't it?

21:19.373 --> 21:22.316
And they've got a daughter, a tiny daughter, called Plums.

21:22.336 --> 21:23.177
– Called Jolly Roger.

21:23.197 --> 21:24.218
– Jolly Roger!

21:24.559 --> 21:26.561
And they're gonna move to Bryson.

21:27.421 --> 21:29.944
And buy a big house in Brighton, because that's where all the stars live!

21:29.964 --> 21:30.685
– Yes.

21:30.705 --> 21:32.406
– So that's something to keep your eye on.

21:33.347 --> 21:39.293
And Connie Hock, of course, is starring in the new film, Iron Man, as Pepper Potts.

21:40.354 --> 22:04.393
So there's some facts for you some film facts always getting it right here on the Adam and Joe radio show now It's free play time in a second, and I'm gonna play you some orange juice I'm gonna play you what presents it's one of my favorite orange juice songs It's from the album the orange juice which has a fantastic cover just like a just juice Carton isn't that right with a beautiful fresh orange on it do you remember?

22:04.893 --> 22:07.294
Yeah, you really, do you really believe that?

22:07.754 --> 22:08.014
Why?

22:08.314 --> 22:10.894
You made that cover as a compilation.

22:11.294 --> 22:13.335
It doesn't have a beautiful orange on it, the actual album.

22:13.515 --> 22:14.715
What's the cover of the actual album?

22:15.895 --> 22:18.316
Well, I think it's got dolphins jumping, hasn't it?

22:18.576 --> 22:19.816
The orange juice.

22:19.856 --> 22:20.796
The orange juice.

22:21.496 --> 22:22.657
You see why I confused again.

22:22.697 --> 22:27.598
But you're right, I did make a fantastic version of it for you at school with a Just Juice cart.

22:27.658 --> 22:28.218
It was brilliant.

22:28.358 --> 22:29.138
It was absolutely brilliant.

22:29.158 --> 22:29.578
Thank you very much.

22:29.598 --> 22:30.658
Because everything about it was brilliant.

22:30.678 --> 22:34.379
It said pure juice, 100% juice, so it all fitted in perfectly with a compilation.

22:34.599 --> 22:36.420
It wasn't the real cover of the real album.

22:36.540 --> 22:42.441
When I was at school, there was a school concert performance, and I played this song at the school concert.

22:42.461 --> 22:43.462
And your congas fell over.

22:43.662 --> 22:51.764
Yeah, I had all sorts of school friends in inverted commas watching, and I did a kind of... Was it a cowbell or a congas solo?

22:51.804 --> 22:53.665
Whatever it was, it was really ill-advised.

22:54.866 --> 23:12.204
I sang the the lyrics obviously and then there's a break in the song and I did some kind of weird solo and My congas fell over I hit them too hard and the little Stan fell over in front of the whole You know a winkle picker brigade a winkle picker brigade that kind of the lads the tufts the bullies and

23:12.324 --> 23:12.524
Yeah.

23:12.584 --> 23:13.644
And they all laughed at me.

23:13.824 --> 23:15.265
The Jesus and Mary chain team.

23:15.585 --> 23:17.685
But I soldiered on and picked up the congas.

23:17.825 --> 23:18.745
And he kept on grooving.

23:18.765 --> 23:21.466
And carried on grooving and singing like a professional.

23:21.526 --> 23:22.366
Like a white soul genius.

23:22.386 --> 23:23.987
Like a complete idiot of myself.

23:24.147 --> 23:24.967
No, you didn't.

23:25.007 --> 23:25.767
It was good, man.

23:26.127 --> 23:30.308
I'm gonna search for what the cover of that album was while we listened to what presents by the orange juice.

23:30.448 --> 23:34.109
I think the cover was just Edwin Collins and one of the other band members.

23:34.129 --> 23:34.649
Let's have a look.

23:34.709 --> 23:34.829
Yeah.

23:35.689 --> 23:36.330
Here's the record.

23:36.710 --> 23:38.311
That was The Pogues, A Pair of Brown Eyes.

23:38.351 --> 23:43.555
That was a session recorded for the Phil Kennedy Show on Radio One in January 1985.

23:44.456 --> 23:46.077
Do you remember Phil Kennedy, Adam?

23:46.337 --> 23:47.598
As a DJ on Radio One?

23:47.698 --> 23:48.019
Kenners?

23:48.499 --> 23:49.019
The Kenners?

23:49.119 --> 23:49.580
The Philly?

23:49.820 --> 23:50.300
The Philpot?

23:50.561 --> 23:50.861
Yeah.

23:51.041 --> 23:51.701
The Phil Monster?

23:51.762 --> 23:52.862
Everyone remembers the Phil Monster.

23:52.882 --> 23:53.423
Of course you do.

23:53.483 --> 23:54.464
What was his catchphrase again?

23:54.704 --> 23:55.985
Oh, don't do that.

23:56.165 --> 23:57.166
All right, do do it.

23:58.086 --> 23:58.967
Oh, don't do that.

23:59.147 --> 24:00.028
All right, don't do it.

24:01.529 --> 24:10.733
That time when he when he was on comic relief It was a first ever comic relief.

24:10.833 --> 24:22.818
I was embarrassed when he slipped over in the in the custard But you remember the classic the big Philpott scandal though, of course when he was when he caught diddling a donkey Yes after one of the radio one road shows

24:22.878 --> 24:23.999
Phil the donkey diddler!

24:24.159 --> 24:26.560
Oh dear, that was the headline in The Sun, wasn't it?

24:26.620 --> 24:28.981
And then of course... Ooh, don't do that was the headline!

24:29.161 --> 24:31.362
Now he's Minister for Circuses.

24:31.722 --> 24:33.243
It's true, he's travelling circuses.

24:33.263 --> 24:34.524
No, that's true.

24:34.704 --> 24:36.125
Not a single word of that is true.

24:36.225 --> 24:42.368
Phil is out there, we hope, somewhere happy, delighted and not involved with any of those activities whatsoever.

24:42.608 --> 24:45.029
This is Adam and Jo, here on BBC Six Music.

24:45.249 --> 24:45.750
Yes it is.

24:45.830 --> 24:53.734
Now, last Sunday, listeners, I was very privileged to see an exciting film at one of London's biggest cinemas, the Empire Leicester Square.

24:53.794 --> 24:54.975
It's simply huge, isn't it?

24:55.335 --> 24:56.496
Oh, what, London?

24:56.976 --> 24:58.077
Yeah, and that cinema.

24:58.417 --> 24:58.737
Oh yeah.

24:58.757 --> 24:59.437
It's enormous.

24:59.537 --> 24:59.938
It is big.

25:00.098 --> 25:07.222
And anything you project on there is immediately very exciting, but they showed a restored digital print of an old James Bond film.

25:07.822 --> 25:12.065
My favorite James Bond film, that's not a James Bond film, that's a James Belushi film.

25:12.745 --> 25:12.785
Oh!

25:12.925 --> 25:16.087
James Bond, they showed the spy who loved me.

25:16.387 --> 25:16.828
Ooh.

25:17.088 --> 25:18.209
What a film that is.

25:18.269 --> 25:21.030
That's the one where the ship opens and it swallows the subs.

25:21.050 --> 25:23.452
With the tankers, which is also in Thunderball, I believe.

25:23.652 --> 25:23.872
Is it?

25:24.433 --> 25:26.174
Yeah, they kind of recycled the plot.

25:26.254 --> 25:27.495
The sub-swallowing tanker.

25:27.555 --> 25:30.997
It's got tanker-swallowing subs, it's got the underwater lotus of Spree.

25:31.257 --> 25:33.198
It's the absolute king of the Bond movies.

25:33.278 --> 25:33.959
It's got Jaws.

25:34.719 --> 25:37.661
It's got that amazing sub-aqua base that the villain has.

25:37.701 --> 25:38.742
What's the villain called?

25:39.482 --> 25:40.863
Uh, is he Glofeld in there?

25:41.063 --> 25:41.924
No, he's not Glofeld.

25:42.044 --> 25:45.126
He's, uh... He's a slightly forgettable... Stromberg.

25:45.286 --> 25:45.907
Stromberg.

25:45.927 --> 25:50.009
Yeah, he's a little bit forgettable, but he does feed people to the sharks in that filming.

25:50.029 --> 25:52.611
He's very good, and he's got a very long dining table.

25:52.751 --> 25:53.091
Yes.

25:53.612 --> 25:56.654
And he sits his enemy at the other end of the very long dining table.

25:56.674 --> 25:57.655
And he's got a long gun back.

25:57.695 --> 26:01.017
He's got a gun with a very long barrel, just in case he misses.

26:01.838 --> 26:03.759
It goes all the way to the other end of the table.

26:04.200 --> 26:05.521
But man, I loved that.

26:05.681 --> 26:07.182
That was such an enjoyable screening.

26:07.222 --> 26:18.833
There's nothing more pleasurable than going to a cinema with, you know, a few hundred people who really, really want to revere and pay close attention to the film they're watching, because it's a revival.

26:18.853 --> 26:19.414
Do you know what I mean?

26:19.454 --> 26:22.617
That's what it's going to be like when people go and see what happens in Vegas this weekend.

26:22.677 --> 26:23.117
Do you think?

26:23.197 --> 26:24.238
With Ashton Custer.

26:24.358 --> 26:25.900
There's going to be a sort of religious silence.

26:26.960 --> 26:27.621
Absolutely.

26:28.001 --> 26:30.863
Yeah, making notes about everything that the Ashton does.

26:31.083 --> 26:31.643
Exactly.

26:31.943 --> 26:33.844
Because it's a battle of the sexes they're waging there.

26:33.864 --> 26:34.104
It is.

26:34.585 --> 26:35.445
And they're playing dirty.

26:35.745 --> 26:36.166
They are.

26:36.566 --> 26:38.027
Who can imagine what's going to happen?

26:38.427 --> 26:39.327
That sounds cool, though.

26:39.347 --> 26:40.028
It was cool.

26:40.428 --> 26:50.033
It's got some great moments, the spy who loved me, and some brilliant kind of anachronistic moments that take you back to when, or took me back to when I was seven or eight, or however old I was when it came out.

26:50.514 --> 26:52.795
One of the spies receives a message at the beginning.

26:53.395 --> 26:56.596
on his watch receiver thing.

26:56.996 --> 26:59.457
And it's ticker tape that comes out that's right.

26:59.757 --> 27:02.218
It's not ticker tape, it's dynamo ticker tape.

27:02.238 --> 27:03.198
Or Dymo, I think.

27:03.258 --> 27:04.019
Dymo, yes.

27:04.339 --> 27:04.799
There you go.

27:04.819 --> 27:06.620
Do you remember that stuff that you would print?

27:06.860 --> 27:09.421
You dial the dial and press the thing.

27:09.481 --> 27:10.361
They still have them, man.

27:10.381 --> 27:10.901
They're useful.

27:11.181 --> 27:12.322
They are for labelling things.

27:12.342 --> 27:12.942
Absolutely.

27:13.202 --> 27:15.483
But there you go, secret agents in the late 70s.

27:15.563 --> 27:16.523
I know.

27:16.643 --> 27:18.744
I saw that recently and I was thinking, how are you going to stalk?

27:18.764 --> 27:20.124
Because that's bulky, that tape.

27:20.684 --> 27:22.325
Well, he sticks them on his pencil case.

27:22.805 --> 27:26.328
But you can only- You'd only be able to print out, like, a couple of messages.

27:26.429 --> 27:33.095
You know, maybe you could store the tape in the strap, but you're not gonna be able to have a whole roll of tape attached up- Well, maybe up your arm or something.

27:33.155 --> 27:37.159
It is useful for everything that a spy has to have a sticky surface, though.

27:37.279 --> 27:37.559
Yeah.

27:37.879 --> 27:41.503
I mean, he may as well just hire a secretary with a Dymo machine and just-

27:42.383 --> 27:44.886
Uh, could you, uh, print out the secret message?

27:45.386 --> 27:46.167
That's what he sounds like.

27:46.447 --> 27:47.388
It is what he sounds like.

27:47.428 --> 27:49.670
He's Russian, actually, the guy that receives the message, I think.

27:49.750 --> 27:49.930
Is he?

27:49.990 --> 27:50.570
Or is it Bond?

27:50.590 --> 27:51.351
I can't remember.

27:51.511 --> 27:55.915
There's the amazing bit when the Union Jack parachute opens, the amazing stunt at the beginning.

27:56.736 --> 27:57.977
I almost cheered.

27:58.757 --> 27:59.858
I thought, this is a home crowd.

27:59.898 --> 28:01.740
Everyone's gonna cheer when that parachute opens.

28:01.760 --> 28:02.200
No, racist.

28:04.122 --> 28:05.283
Yeah, too patriotic.

28:05.303 --> 28:06.604
He was racist.

28:07.144 --> 28:10.086
I started cheering and then had to stop because I was the only one.

28:10.266 --> 28:13.008
The cinema was full of lots of middle-aged men.

28:13.288 --> 28:14.369
Lots of bald patches.

28:14.609 --> 28:14.829
Yeah.

28:15.290 --> 28:16.110
I was sitting near the back.

28:16.130 --> 28:17.271
Did they have Union Jacks on?

28:17.571 --> 28:18.011
They didn't.

28:18.051 --> 28:18.932
They should have, shouldn't they?

28:19.192 --> 28:20.073
Oh, Mr. Trick.

28:20.613 --> 28:40.278
uh yeah what a movie um and the most one of the most uh amazingly exciting bits i'm exaggerating is at the very end of the film it says james bond will return in for your eyes only that's right which was wrong of course oh was it yeah because moonraker came next did it really so it's a mistake bond mistake

28:40.658 --> 28:40.998
Yeah.

28:41.339 --> 28:43.040
And the director was there, Lewis Gilbert.

28:43.160 --> 28:46.122
He's a very old guy now, but brilliantly clever.

28:46.162 --> 28:49.444
He directed stuff like Educating Rita and lots of good stuff.

28:49.945 --> 28:53.127
I went up to talk to him when he was coming out of the loo.

28:53.287 --> 28:54.588
What was your opening gambit there?

28:55.068 --> 28:57.330
I said... Well done, Mr Gilbert.

28:57.350 --> 28:57.970
That was good.

28:58.290 --> 28:59.691
I said, hello, Mr Gilbert.

29:00.172 --> 29:02.213
I'd just like to say thank you to you.

29:02.333 --> 29:06.596
You've brought me so much pleasure as a child and you've brought me so much pleasure today.

29:06.816 --> 29:08.417
And I welled up while I said it.

29:08.477 --> 29:08.838
No.

29:08.918 --> 29:09.138
Yeah.

29:09.298 --> 29:11.379
Get out of my way, you crazy kid!

29:11.439 --> 29:15.722
He looked at me like I was a bit mad and overdoing it.

29:15.802 --> 29:17.943
I shook his hand just as he'd come out of the loo as well.

29:17.983 --> 29:19.845
That didn't seem very hygienic.

29:20.385 --> 29:22.466
And he moved away as quickly as he could.

29:23.027 --> 29:24.548
But it was a fantastic screening.

29:24.588 --> 29:26.749
So that's what has been re-released at the cinema, is it?

29:26.809 --> 29:30.170
I don't know whether it's getting a proper release, but it's a pristine digital print.

29:30.210 --> 29:32.531
It must be coming out on Blu-ray or something like that.

29:32.551 --> 29:33.272
Fantastic.

29:33.292 --> 29:34.872
But it looks amazing on the big screen.

29:35.452 --> 29:37.413
Made me feel like a virile child.

29:37.673 --> 29:39.554
You are a virile child.

29:39.574 --> 29:40.494
Come on, let's face it.

29:41.255 --> 29:42.355
Music time now.

29:42.375 --> 29:44.096
Oh, we can have the top of the hour sweeper.

29:44.396 --> 29:46.097
I love sweeping at the top of the hour.

29:46.117 --> 29:46.457
Let's have that.

29:46.477 --> 29:47.857
And then after that, we'll have the rapture.

29:48.018 --> 29:49.078
That's nice that he's come round.

29:49.618 --> 29:50.819
To a more positive way of thinking.

29:50.939 --> 29:56.664
That's the rapture with W-A-Y-U-H, which stands for Woo or Right?

29:57.224 --> 29:57.544
Yeah.

29:57.805 --> 29:58.105
Uh-huh.

29:58.345 --> 30:02.148
He's got a kind of vocal style that's not dissimilar to the Kings of Leon there.

30:02.448 --> 30:02.868
The yelp.

30:03.349 --> 30:05.230
Yeah, that's quite fashionable these days.

30:05.330 --> 30:09.473
Isn't it kind of talking like that the whole time?

30:09.513 --> 30:10.614
Yeah, the rock yelp.

30:10.895 --> 30:11.235
Yeah.

30:11.315 --> 30:12.155
The laid back.

30:12.396 --> 30:17.920
Was that something that was invented by the Kings of Leon, or would you say that was invented by an older musician?

30:18.340 --> 30:21.422
Oh, that's been around for years, certainly since the days of New York punk.

30:21.482 --> 30:23.783
In fact, yeah, it's a bit David Burney, isn't it?

30:23.883 --> 30:24.704
A little bit, no.

30:25.844 --> 30:26.325
You know what?

30:26.365 --> 30:42.814
I heard that David Byrne and Brian Eno are going to be touring, because they've done an album, they've done a new album together, their first since My Life in the Bush of Ghosts seminal kind of cut-up, you know, sampling album in the early 80s, and they're going to be touring the album.

30:43.254 --> 30:44.735
Apparently, this is what I've read online.

30:44.955 --> 30:47.357
What, instead of releasing it, just playing it live?

30:47.417 --> 30:47.698
No, no, no.

30:47.718 --> 30:50.940
They'll be releasing it and playing it live, but they will be playing it live.

30:50.960 --> 30:51.801
That's the exciting thing.

30:51.841 --> 30:56.004
And they will be playing, apparently, about 40% Talking Heads material.

30:56.024 --> 30:57.726
I mean, that is very exciting.

30:57.746 --> 31:00.128
That's as good as a Talking Heads reunion.

31:00.148 --> 31:02.349
That's a little bit insulting to the rest of Talking Heads, obviously.

31:02.390 --> 31:04.351
What would Eno play on the stage?

31:04.391 --> 31:05.312
What instrument would he play?

31:05.752 --> 31:16.921
Uh, he'd just do treatments, wires, he'd write things on blackboards, he'd plug tubes into David Byrne's bottom, and he would be thinking of things all the time, very fast.

31:17.222 --> 31:18.603
And he also might play the keyboard.

31:18.923 --> 31:19.824
Okay, thanks.

31:20.304 --> 31:21.545
Um, but that'll be good.

31:21.625 --> 31:25.909
Also, he'd be, he'd be on backing vocals as well, you know, he loves to do a little bit of... Really?

31:26.149 --> 31:26.909
Ian, uh, you know.

31:27.110 --> 31:27.830
That's exciting.

31:27.990 --> 31:28.991
Ian, I was gonna call him there.

31:29.472 --> 31:30.853
That'd be confusing if his name was Ian.

31:31.333 --> 31:31.793
Ian Eno.

31:32.214 --> 31:32.254
Mm.

31:32.994 --> 31:34.315
Um, but that, wow, that would be amazing.

31:34.335 --> 31:41.017
I'd love to have those reports confirmed, because so far I've just read them, uh, you know, on kind of, uh, tittle-tattle sites on the internet.

31:41.537 --> 31:47.078
Now listen, I teased the fact earlier that I was gonna correct something we got wrong in a show a few weeks ago.

31:47.098 --> 31:48.859
And these things bother me, you know?

31:48.919 --> 31:52.760
I just don't like the idea that we're just randomly saying things and they're going out unchallenged.

31:52.820 --> 31:53.180
I know.

31:53.280 --> 31:55.381
I've already made a hideous orange juice boo-boo.

31:56.281 --> 31:56.441
Right.

31:56.901 --> 31:59.302
Well, we corrected that there within the body of the link there.

32:00.123 --> 32:07.185
But the thing we were talking about the other week was the word criteria and criterion, the difference between those two.

32:07.665 --> 32:13.348
And I was saying, is criterion always the singular of that word and criteria always the plural?

32:13.548 --> 32:13.988
Oh, boy.

32:14.228 --> 32:15.068
What would you say, Joe?

32:15.648 --> 32:16.109
I don't know.

32:16.189 --> 32:16.929
I feel sleepy.

32:17.409 --> 32:18.229
Feel a little bit sleepy.

32:18.269 --> 32:19.490
Yeah, a little bit drowsy.

32:19.590 --> 32:25.333
Well, on the show, you assured me that, uh, no, criteria could be used in the singular as well.

32:25.353 --> 32:27.574
So you could say it's the only criterion.

32:27.734 --> 32:28.115
Not true.

32:28.775 --> 32:29.375
Is that so?

32:29.495 --> 32:29.695
Yeah.

32:29.896 --> 32:32.197
Criterion is always the singular.

32:32.797 --> 32:37.159
If it's the only criterion, you have to say that it's the single criterion.

32:37.239 --> 32:39.941
If there are many criteria, you have to use the plural.

32:40.481 --> 32:40.761
Right.

32:40.881 --> 32:41.101
Yeah.

32:41.141 --> 32:41.842
This is good, isn't it?

32:41.882 --> 32:42.502
It is good.

32:42.522 --> 32:43.342
I mean, this is exciting.

32:43.383 --> 32:43.923
It's like QI.

32:44.503 --> 32:45.523
Yeah, it is, isn't it?

32:45.603 --> 32:48.885
It's like the Lynn Trust show or whatever she's called.

32:49.005 --> 32:50.485
She's not got a TV show, has she?

32:50.785 --> 32:51.846
It's only a matter of time.

32:52.246 --> 32:53.066
Lynn Trust.

32:53.626 --> 32:54.287
Lynn Trust.

32:55.207 --> 32:56.427
Shoots and leaves.

32:57.288 --> 32:58.088
Shoots and leaves.

32:58.108 --> 32:59.188
That's right, that's what she's done.

32:59.208 --> 33:00.749
She's done a more recent one as well, hasn't she?

33:01.429 --> 33:02.470
She keeps churning them out.

33:02.510 --> 33:04.650
She's a best-selling wordplay queen.

33:04.730 --> 33:05.131
She is.

33:05.471 --> 33:05.951
But that's good.

33:05.971 --> 33:06.891
I'm glad we've cleared that up.

33:07.191 --> 33:11.513
Well, I thought we should, you know, just for the sake of grammatical correctness.

33:12.334 --> 33:13.534
Now it's Tingting's time.

33:13.874 --> 33:14.895
This is a hot new single.

33:14.935 --> 33:16.115
People are crazy about this.

33:16.215 --> 33:17.136
Is this the new single?

33:17.196 --> 33:18.076
The latest single.

33:18.436 --> 33:19.557
People are going mad for this.

33:19.757 --> 33:20.578
Who's going mad for this?

33:20.638 --> 33:20.998
People.

33:21.519 --> 33:21.639
Oh.

33:22.099 --> 33:22.419
Yeah.

33:22.940 --> 33:24.381
In the streets, they're going crazy.

33:24.401 --> 33:25.542
Are the kids going crazy for it?

33:25.562 --> 33:27.123
The kids love this business, yeah.

33:27.163 --> 33:27.804
The Ting Tings.

33:28.064 --> 33:28.845
Absolutely love it.

33:28.905 --> 33:29.625
They're on fire.

33:29.906 --> 33:31.867
Well, this is called That's Not My Name.

33:32.087 --> 33:33.929
The Ting Tings with That's Not My Name.

33:33.949 --> 33:34.850
That is brilliant, isn't it?

33:34.950 --> 33:35.891
I mean, is that the new one?

33:36.823 --> 33:39.184
That is the new one, re-released May the 12th.

33:39.204 --> 33:43.345
So not entirely new, but it's getting a little push off the back of previous successes.

33:43.925 --> 33:46.606
Here's one you may have missed from the Ting Tings, is what they're saying.

33:46.946 --> 33:48.926
And they're right in that case, because that's very good.

33:49.066 --> 33:50.607
How could we have missed it the first time round?

33:50.627 --> 33:52.087
How could it have slipped through the net?

33:52.367 --> 33:52.948
We're stupid.

33:53.068 --> 33:54.068
We're stupid?

33:54.628 --> 33:59.896
So here on the Adam and Jo radio show on BBC6 Music we've been attempting recently to provoke some feuds.

34:01.018 --> 34:05.905
You may have heard about our top gear encounter at the big awards ceremony where we won a big award.

34:06.746 --> 34:09.170
We take every opportunity to remind you of that award.

34:10.411 --> 34:15.573
We tried to pick a fight with Top Gear and engage them in a feud, but it hasn't really worked.

34:16.194 --> 34:18.034
All the effort was coming from our side, wasn't it?

34:18.114 --> 34:20.596
It was like punching someone and they didn't bother punching back.

34:20.656 --> 34:22.636
They just turned the other cheek and sort of walked away.

34:22.716 --> 34:23.317
They drove off.

34:23.497 --> 34:31.240
We wanted to try and harness ourselves onto their massive wagon of success by provoking a fight, but no, it hasn't worked.

34:31.260 --> 34:32.120
They've just rumbled on.

34:32.140 --> 34:33.101
I was quite relieved.

34:33.781 --> 34:57.466
Yeah, I'm relieved as well the feuds however that we didn't really want to pick that has rumbled on those the our half I was thinking about this in the week I was wondering if really gonna a couple of weeks ago Adam made some they weren't necessarily Disparaging but they were certainly interpreted as such by some our half fans He made some comments about the fact that our heart were doing this tour where the three individual members of the band play individual sets But they never play together they're playing at the end

34:57.526 --> 34:59.087
Albert Hall in a few weeks.

34:59.247 --> 35:04.509
Adam was implying that perhaps people might come to see them as our heart.

35:04.529 --> 35:05.969
Your words are being twisted already.

35:05.989 --> 35:06.809
What were you implying?

35:06.930 --> 35:17.013
I was asking what the point of doing that was and I was suggesting that it might be a little pathetic to gather your solo efforts under the banner of the band that you are refusing to perform as.

35:17.814 --> 35:18.794
Nice feudstoking.

35:20.355 --> 35:22.095
Because that's what you said two weeks ago.

35:22.435 --> 35:26.237
Just said again and then last week we were discussing it more and were you apologizing or were you...

35:27.457 --> 35:51.206
uh no no i'm just putting the point of view of aha fans and making yes exactly i was reading out a very angry email from a big aha fan saying that uh you know they're brilliant and it's a great idea for them all to perform because they've all got their solo identities and blah blah blah blah and they'll be playing future aha shows that's something i didn't realize actually i didn't realize that there was still an ongoing touring concern so here's another email that's come in

35:51.866 --> 35:53.908
from somebody called Mark.

35:54.448 --> 36:02.895
He says, you seem to rub your face in this whole mess every week and say the most ridiculous of observations about the best band in the world.

36:03.295 --> 36:04.796
Say the most ridiculous of observations.

36:04.836 --> 36:11.321
The three members of Aha have a huge catalog of their own songs, with which to form quite a number of concerts each.

36:12.122 --> 36:19.127
Which is why it is that just about everyone seems to see them as some sort of cheap euro trash band that is merely eye candy.

36:19.427 --> 36:21.309
This is so far from the truth.

36:21.849 --> 36:33.958
I might have to jam a fork in your eye to know in my eye to stop myself from going on some crusade to teach people that Mags, Morton and Paul are simply sublime artists in and outside of Aha.

36:34.238 --> 36:37.461
And no one knows just how feverishly good the songs they write are.

36:37.901 --> 36:43.068
Do not make snap judgments about them again, without hearing their vast quantity of amazing songs.

36:43.088 --> 36:43.428
Fair enough.

36:43.749 --> 36:48.655
No band is as good as A-ha-ha, and no band has ever delivered a work of genius after genius after genius.

36:48.715 --> 36:50.577
Now he's gone into a sort of mental land.

36:51.579 --> 36:52.460
I know you won't read this out.

36:52.480 --> 36:52.960
I was with him before.

36:53.641 --> 37:02.465
Yeah, but who cares just so long as you read it and our horror from Norway What we saying Sweden probably maybe possibly that's very lazy.

37:02.525 --> 37:04.526
So this but this could be a better feud couldn't it?

37:05.387 --> 37:08.528
Why because that it's more like seem to be responding to it.

37:08.608 --> 37:20.674
Well, yeah, I'm less frightened of our half and certainly than I would be of Top tier yeah, yeah, our half fans are very beautiful and they've got long fingers and fragile arms and

37:20.774 --> 37:25.315
Although, on the other hand, with some of those kind of bands, you know... They do have long fingers and fragile arms.

37:25.375 --> 37:26.355
Like Morten Harkett.

37:26.415 --> 37:27.215
Like aliens.

37:27.356 --> 37:29.756
If they tried to punch you, they'd just snap.

37:29.776 --> 37:30.696
He's very muscly.

37:31.016 --> 37:31.957
No, he's very muscly.

37:31.997 --> 37:33.457
Jude's saying you couldn't take on the Harkett.

37:33.477 --> 37:35.557
Well, you see, the thing is... Harkett's a muscle man.

37:35.617 --> 37:38.818
...that Jude, our producer, is a very big, genuine fan of Aha.

37:38.838 --> 37:42.359
So, if you're upset by our comments about Aha, take Harkett and the fact that...

37:43.039 --> 37:43.800
Uh, Jude likes them.

37:43.820 --> 37:44.540
Take her heart.

37:44.600 --> 37:45.601
Take her heart.

37:46.061 --> 37:49.924
Uh, I think it's a fair point that he makes that I should listen to some of their solo work.

37:50.104 --> 37:50.465
And I am going to.

37:50.485 --> 37:51.526
Should we play some Aha next week?

37:51.566 --> 37:52.847
Well, I'm going to endeavor to do so.

37:53.207 --> 37:54.027
Where should I start?

37:54.148 --> 37:57.410
Maybe he could suggest, uh, where I should start with their solo albums.

37:57.450 --> 38:01.293
Could you suggest the best solo albums by each of the three members of Aha?

38:01.693 --> 38:11.821
I swear to you, I will listen to them in their entirety, and I will pick what I consider to be the best track out of those three albums that you've recommended, and we will play it on the show.

38:11.841 --> 38:13.742
There you go, Mark, there's a challenge, okay?

38:14.503 --> 38:19.467
Um, so you're welcome to keep the Aha feud rumbling on, and I'll do my best to be reasonable about it, but...

38:19.687 --> 38:20.347
What was he saying?

38:20.427 --> 38:23.688
They're the best band in the world and they've done genius after genius.

38:23.888 --> 38:25.229
You know, I've only heard.

38:25.329 --> 38:26.389
Take on me, I've heard.

38:26.789 --> 38:28.710
The Sun Always Shines on TV, I've heard.

38:28.790 --> 38:30.330
The theme from the James Bond movie.

38:30.370 --> 38:31.110
All very good.

38:31.450 --> 38:32.151
All fine.

38:32.171 --> 38:33.471
I don't know about very good.

38:33.491 --> 38:34.251
I'd say very good.

38:34.471 --> 38:35.752
They're all absolutely fine.

38:36.192 --> 38:38.292
As good as anything by Strawberry Switchblade.

38:38.452 --> 38:39.893
Hey, no, that's not true.

38:40.453 --> 38:41.613
I'm giving a feud with you now.

38:41.673 --> 38:42.413
Candy flip.

38:42.794 --> 38:43.954
They're much better than that.

38:44.454 --> 38:45.194
Come on.

38:45.254 --> 38:46.975
Hey, you're putting down strawberry switchblade.

38:47.015 --> 38:47.736
They were very good.

38:48.136 --> 38:48.436
You know?

38:48.456 --> 38:50.778
I've got a fuzzbox and I'm gonna use it.

38:51.018 --> 38:51.798
They were good too.

38:52.118 --> 38:53.959
As good as the sun always shines on TV.

38:53.979 --> 38:54.420
That's not true.

38:54.620 --> 38:55.300
That's not true.

38:55.540 --> 38:55.961
Anyway.

38:56.461 --> 38:58.042
Now here's a band that is from Sweden.

38:58.382 --> 38:58.802
Listeners.

38:59.342 --> 39:00.283
This is a pick for you.

39:00.683 --> 39:02.624
They're suburban kids with biblical names.

39:02.824 --> 39:07.767
Of course they took their name from that lyric in the Silver Jew song that we played earlier on.

39:08.127 --> 39:10.048
And this is a track from their excellent album.

39:11.009 --> 39:12.530
I think the album is called Number Three.

39:13.331 --> 39:22.781
And it's called Peter's dream suburban kids with biblical names and that's a track called Peter's dream from their album number three Which I heartily recommend if you enjoyed that.

39:23.522 --> 39:30.970
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 music on a Saturday morning and We're about to launch text the nation very shortly.

39:31.590 --> 39:33.472
Maybe even now should we play the jingle?

39:33.693 --> 39:33.893
Yes

39:35.235 --> 39:37.359
What if I don't want to?

39:37.419 --> 39:38.822
But I'm using email.

39:38.862 --> 39:39.243
Is that a problem?

39:46.138 --> 39:53.099
It's the nation's favourite feature, uh, from the award-winning Adam and Jo BBC Six radio prog.

39:53.499 --> 39:57.640
And, um, this week we are talking about, what are we talking about?

39:57.660 --> 40:02.101
Oh yes, this is something we were talking about last week and it's something that we've, we've sort of skirted around before.

40:02.141 --> 40:13.483
It's not like a mind-blowingly original topic for, for, for text fun, but it's always enjoyable to hear people's anecdotes about times that they have humiliated themselves in front of celebrities.

40:14.028 --> 40:23.832
Yeah, if you've met a famous person, someone you idolise, or maybe someone that you don't care that much about, but is very famous, and made a complete tit of yourself in front of them.

40:24.212 --> 40:25.052
I would say tottie.

40:25.552 --> 40:26.693
A tottie of yourselves.

40:26.713 --> 40:27.253
Yeah, yeah.

40:27.593 --> 40:29.274
But you know, it happens because...

40:29.714 --> 40:34.597
sometimes you just feel compelled to go up and talk to famous people, because you think it'll be sort of fun, you know?

40:34.857 --> 40:50.187
You see a famous person, you might not even be a big fan of theirs, but you think, I'm going to go up and talk to them, and I'm going to galvanize the small part of myself that has any appreciation for their irvula whatsoever, and I'm going to go out and pay them a compliment just for the fun of it, you know, so I can interact with their famous world.

40:50.767 --> 40:55.831
And usually it goes wrong, or you come out of it feeling a bit ludicrous, like, why did I do that?

40:56.751 --> 41:01.353
I was talking to a friend of mine last weekend who had an encounter that I hope she won't mind me relating.

41:01.753 --> 41:03.713
I'll call her Janine.

41:04.313 --> 41:11.736
And Janine was with her children, shopping at Tesca's, and she saw at the end of the aisle, Lisa Tarbuck.

41:12.456 --> 41:13.396
Wow.

41:13.636 --> 41:17.137
Actress, presenter, and all-round good egg.

41:17.618 --> 41:20.018
And she suddenly thought, ooh, Lisa Tarbuck.

41:20.498 --> 41:21.439
What's Lisa Tarbuck?

41:21.719 --> 41:23.039
I'm going to talk to her.

41:23.499 --> 41:25.240
I feel compelled to talk to Tarbuck.

41:25.680 --> 41:27.562
And I'm going to, and she was thinking, what can I say?

41:27.582 --> 41:28.823
What's Tarbuck's latest thing?

41:28.863 --> 41:31.365
I'm trying to place Tarbuck on the telescope at the moment.

41:31.525 --> 41:34.628
Well, she pops up in, in the show within a show in extras.

41:35.128 --> 41:35.869
That's true.

41:36.189 --> 41:40.733
She is, she does a lot of sort of ITV drama, comedy drama type stuff.

41:40.833 --> 41:41.914
She's always working, man.

41:41.934 --> 41:42.335
She's good.

41:43.015 --> 41:53.057
Anyway, she also does a certain amount of radio work and she regularly, I believe, fills in for Steve Wright, along with Mark Radcliffe.

41:53.497 --> 41:59.399
They pair up and they provide excellent, depping work when Steve Wright is otherwise indisposed.

41:59.939 --> 42:05.980
So, my friend Janine, she thought, I'm going to pay her a compliment about how good she is when she fills in for Steve Wright.

42:06.680 --> 42:08.181
That was her gambit, right?

42:08.641 --> 42:16.024
So she skirts around Tarbark for quite a while while she's shopping, but she keeps chickening out at the last minute, and she's like, no, I can't do it.

42:16.084 --> 42:17.724
No, I can't.

42:17.944 --> 42:22.326
So she chickens out, and she's in the car park at Tesco's, and she's loading her stuff.

42:22.346 --> 42:23.627
She's got the children running around there.

42:23.647 --> 42:25.447
It's always a dangerous time when you're in the car park.

42:25.467 --> 42:26.348
You don't want to keep an eye on them.

42:26.368 --> 42:29.789
You don't want them to run out in front of the cars, and you've got to load the shopping in the back of the car.

42:30.518 --> 42:33.360
And then suddenly, ah, from nowhere, Tarbuck.

42:33.641 --> 42:34.842
She's there again, right?

42:35.262 --> 42:37.424
And our friend Janine looks over and goes, oh, Tarbuck!

42:37.444 --> 42:39.626
This is my last chance to pay her a compliment!

42:40.188 --> 42:41.569
So she drives a big rig.

42:41.929 --> 42:42.249
She does.

42:42.269 --> 42:42.810
How do you know that?

42:42.850 --> 42:43.410
The tar truck.

42:43.430 --> 42:43.930
It's well known.

42:43.950 --> 42:44.551
It's well known.

42:44.651 --> 42:45.211
The buck truck.

42:47.252 --> 42:48.153
Well, Java!

42:50.194 --> 42:51.615
It's not like a big, big rig.

42:51.655 --> 42:52.275
It's not like you, Bank.

42:52.295 --> 42:52.395
It is.

42:52.415 --> 42:53.115
It's like convoy.

42:54.696 --> 42:55.917
It's not like you, Bank's convoy truck.

42:55.937 --> 42:58.058
That wasn't my joke, but she does really drive a big one.

42:58.078 --> 42:58.398
Well, no, no, no.

42:58.418 --> 43:00.279
Apparently she drives a nice car, though.

43:00.319 --> 43:02.641
My friend was saying, like, quite a big meaty car.

43:03.201 --> 43:08.825
Anyway, she was loading the bags in the back of the car, and at that moment, Tarbuck emerges.

43:09.045 --> 43:12.527
She turns round to address her comments to Tarbuck, drops the bags.

43:12.627 --> 43:13.027
Oh God.

43:13.067 --> 43:19.952
There's food all over the floor and all over the car park, and she's still trying to pay her a compliment.

43:19.972 --> 43:21.653
She sort of goes around and says, I like it.

43:22.133 --> 43:24.995
I like it when you fill in on the radio.

43:26.696 --> 43:27.236
I like it.

43:27.577 --> 43:28.077
I like it.

43:28.117 --> 43:29.418
Good when you fill in on the radio.

43:30.178 --> 43:36.119
Um, and Tarbuck looks, uh, looks harried and doesn't, doesn't look in the mood to hear about it at all.

43:36.599 --> 43:42.280
And also it's a little bit of a weird situation because does she start helping her picking up her food and stuff like that?

43:42.700 --> 43:43.601
No, because she's busy.

43:43.621 --> 43:44.441
She's jumping in her car.

43:44.461 --> 43:50.322
The last thing she wants to deal with is someone else's problems and also to deal with this little conversation.

43:50.862 --> 43:52.642
So Tarbuck sort of brushes her off a little bit.

43:52.722 --> 43:54.743
Or so my friend Janine thought I suggested to her.

43:54.763 --> 43:55.443
What does Tarbuck say?

43:55.843 --> 44:01.487
Well, she just sort of went, oh thanks, and climbed in her car and shot off, but my friend was left absolutely humiliated.

44:01.728 --> 44:04.350
Talbot clearly wasn't rude in any way whatsoever.

44:04.690 --> 44:07.732
It's not in her nature, I don't think, having met her once or twice, very nice person.

44:08.233 --> 44:21.563
But my friend felt absolutely devastated afterwards, because she was just full of self-loathing and embarrassment and humiliation that she'd had this kind of psychodrama raging in her head right the way through her shopping trip, and it was so unfulfillingly concluded, you know.

44:22.143 --> 44:30.526
Anyway, we want to hear stories that are maybe a bit more dramatic than that even, if there can be such a thing, and maybe we'll tell you some of ours as well in the next few minutes.

44:30.946 --> 44:32.986
So, are we okay with texting?

44:33.066 --> 44:34.167
We are!

44:34.267 --> 44:48.051
Okay, so you can text your stories about humiliating encounters with celebrities on 64046, or you can email us, and the address is AdamAndJoe, A-N-D-Joe, .6music at bbc.co.uk.

44:49.691 --> 44:50.551
It's trail time.

44:50.571 --> 44:53.112
It's a little bit insulting to television though, isn't it?

44:53.132 --> 44:54.272
I mean, goodness sake.

44:54.593 --> 44:56.873
That's the Disposable Heroes of Hippoprosy.

44:56.913 --> 44:58.634
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

44:58.734 --> 45:00.094
It's time now for the news.

45:00.494 --> 45:04.176
In some ways, I wish Britain was the 51st state of the USA.

45:04.556 --> 45:08.077
Then we'd have better fast food, cheaper car hire.

45:08.797 --> 45:09.558
What's going on there?

45:09.638 --> 45:11.539
That's a little, um, out- what it does.

45:11.619 --> 45:13.581
Out-groove the Matt Johnson thing, yeah.

45:13.881 --> 45:14.261
Don't you?

45:14.281 --> 45:18.284
You know, telly, we get all the American shows, we get the movies sooner.

45:18.304 --> 45:18.845
Yeah.

45:19.045 --> 45:19.625
Well, we are.

45:19.665 --> 45:24.569
I mean, we basically... What's the time lag now between America and the UK movies?

45:24.589 --> 45:27.251
Depends where about... Oh, movie-wise, yeah, not that long, that's true.

45:27.691 --> 45:29.732
Not the actual time difference.

45:31.172 --> 45:32.372
No, you know, we essentially are.

45:32.392 --> 45:41.935
I mean, when Matt Johnson recorded that song, that was back in the 80s, and he was standing there, canute-like, trying to hold back the tidal wave of American culture.

45:42.155 --> 45:43.375
Too late for that now, mate.

45:43.895 --> 45:48.996
No one's singing songs about this being the 51st day of the USA now, because it's... It's a foregone conclusion.

45:49.016 --> 45:50.237
It's a moot point, isn't it?

45:50.357 --> 45:51.737
It's true to come true.

45:52.377 --> 45:53.137
Johnson, he was right.

45:53.217 --> 45:55.338
Once we feel sick... Should've listened to Johnson.

45:56.618 --> 45:58.959
Now, this is the Adam and Jo Show on Six Music.

45:58.979 --> 46:06.442
We're in the midst of Text the Nation and we're asking you to relate to us your stories about times when you have humiliated yourself in front of a celebrity.

46:06.482 --> 46:07.403
I've got so many.

46:08.063 --> 46:12.005
Well, we were discussing the fact during the break there that

46:12.865 --> 46:36.757
you know sometimes these humiliations are only in the mind of the people themselves who have who reckon they've humiliated themselves you know that the celebrity in question won't be aware of it because someone comes up to you out of the blue and shakes your hand or whatever you just say hey nice to meet you whatever that's it they go about their business none the whiter but it's but there's a whole inner world of turmoil going on in the person who's uh gone up to them right and they think oh

46:36.937 --> 46:38.179
Oh, and I shouldn't have said it like that.

46:38.459 --> 46:39.300
Oh, no, I don't.

46:39.360 --> 46:40.021
I'm an idiot.

46:40.061 --> 46:40.801
Why did I do that?

46:40.861 --> 46:43.244
I've made myself seem less important than him.

46:43.324 --> 46:45.967
And, you know, why am I any less of a person than he is?

46:46.227 --> 46:48.810
Oh, she is a massive psychological contradiction, isn't there?

46:48.850 --> 46:50.752
Because you feel you know the famous person.

46:50.772 --> 46:54.837
Yeah, the famous person doesn't know you, but knows you know their work.

46:56.038 --> 46:57.880
And then you have to bridge that kind of

46:58.661 --> 47:02.143
you know, chasm of knowledge and ignorance with some kind of idle chitchat.

47:02.403 --> 47:02.683
Yes.

47:02.963 --> 47:04.003
Which is very difficult.

47:04.424 --> 47:07.025
You know so much about them, but yet so little at the same time.

47:07.065 --> 47:11.567
You know, you know about their professional life and their work life, but you don't know what they're like as a person.

47:11.627 --> 47:15.208
And they know nothing whatsoever about you, so they've got to rely on platitudes.

47:15.228 --> 47:16.329
That's all they've got to go on, you know.

47:16.349 --> 47:17.449
It's a difficult exchange.

47:17.510 --> 47:27.194
I'm thinking of one or two times when we did Final Justice, a segment we used to have in our old telly show, and we did, uh, we did it with Dweasel and Ahmet Zappa, Frank Zappa's kids.

47:27.874 --> 47:31.137
And I lied to them that I'd, uh, listened to their new record.

47:31.197 --> 47:31.958
That's right, yeah.

47:32.498 --> 47:34.020
Oh, you're very young and stupid at the time.

47:34.781 --> 47:36.262
And, uh... In order to endear yourself.

47:36.302 --> 47:39.024
Yeah, yeah, I said, oh, I really like your new album.

47:39.505 --> 47:43.548
And they were in quite a spiky mood as it was, and we hadn't even started filming yet.

47:43.608 --> 47:46.231
We were dressed as idiotic policemen, it was all very awkward.

47:46.931 --> 47:52.717
And, uh, either Dweasel or Armit, I can't remember which one, just said, ah, you haven't listened to... You haven't heard the album.

47:53.672 --> 48:02.301
And he called my bluff, he was right, I hadn't listened to the album, I was incapable of lying, so I just looked like a terrified bunny rabbit, and went, yes, yes I have!

48:02.321 --> 48:04.483
But I so clearly hadn't!

48:05.103 --> 48:10.549
And it was just a terrible atmosphere in the room, and... Did we even bother filming the segment, or did we just leave?

48:10.829 --> 48:15.173
Er, no, we filmed it, it's very excruciating, I watched it when we were putting the extras together for the Atom Joe DVD.

48:15.193 --> 48:15.454
Did you?

48:15.474 --> 48:16.134
We didn't use it.

48:16.375 --> 48:17.396
No, it's painful to watch.

48:17.896 --> 48:26.898
And another one was, for some reason that's too complicated to go into, I was in a cafe in Vauxhall with Christian Bale around the time of Velvet Goldmine being released.

48:27.478 --> 48:31.439
I was quite excited to meet him, followed his work since Empire of the Sun.

48:32.099 --> 48:41.741
I also owned a slightly odd sort of underground comic book called Horror Hospital, which has homoerotic content, including some homoerotic drawings of Christian Bale.

48:42.221 --> 48:47.002
And I decided this was the moment to show Bale these drawings.

48:47.042 --> 48:47.442
He'd love it.

48:47.942 --> 48:49.703
Yeah, I, you know, was man to man.

48:49.743 --> 48:50.523
Who wouldn't want to see that?

48:50.543 --> 48:51.644
Who wouldn't want to see those?

48:52.544 --> 48:56.746
He looked at them like I was mad and was going to assault him in some way.

48:56.966 --> 48:57.986
Of course he did.

48:58.066 --> 48:59.327
And I did see him again, though.

49:00.067 --> 49:00.807
And we made love.

49:01.188 --> 49:01.448
Yeah.

49:02.268 --> 49:02.928
It's not true.

49:02.948 --> 49:03.669
It came true.

49:03.709 --> 49:06.970
I did see him again, but he always looked slightly frightened of me.

49:07.330 --> 49:13.576
Alex James is another person who's been the object of a lot of homoerotic fantasies in graphic novels as well.

49:14.056 --> 49:19.141
And I remember someone showing him one of these things in an interview and he responded the same way.

49:19.161 --> 49:19.922
I mean, how would you?

49:19.982 --> 49:22.404
You would feel slightly terrorized, wouldn't you?

49:22.444 --> 49:24.686
To be the object of someone's fantasies in that way.

49:24.867 --> 49:26.528
Hey, he wasn't the object of my fantasies.

49:26.828 --> 49:28.150
I happened to own the book.

49:28.250 --> 49:30.172
I was just... So what did you say, like...

49:30.712 --> 49:31.512
Look at this, Christian.

49:31.692 --> 49:35.034
You wouldn't believe what some of the weirdos out there are thinking of you, like me.

49:36.955 --> 49:41.016
I said all of that apart from the like me bit.

49:41.276 --> 49:42.097
That's very frightening.

49:42.697 --> 49:44.698
Have we got people emailing us and texting?

49:44.798 --> 49:50.240
We certainly have and you can carry on texting your stories about humiliating yourself in front of famous people.

49:50.740 --> 49:54.485
to 64046 or email Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.

49:54.505 --> 49:55.806
We'll read out a whole lot very soon.

49:56.307 --> 50:02.294
Now, here's a track by Supergrass, who I went to see playing at the Astoria on Wednesday this week.

50:02.334 --> 50:05.477
It was the last night of their UK tour, and they were extraordinary.

50:05.497 --> 50:07.159
Have you ever seen Supergrass live, Joe?

50:07.380 --> 50:07.540
No.

50:07.700 --> 50:08.381
And it's like a...

50:08.701 --> 50:10.182
It's like a nuclear bomb going off.

50:10.202 --> 50:25.968
You know, this is a band that has been around a proper British treasure that for whatever reason have never become so massively globally famous that they no longer play, you know, decent sized venues and they are still sort of accessible to their fans in that way.

50:26.008 --> 50:29.709
You know, despite the fact they've got an embarrassment of brilliant albums and amazing hits.

50:29.929 --> 50:30.670
It's good though, isn't it?

50:30.930 --> 50:34.052
So you still get a feeling of intimacy when you go to their gigs.

50:34.112 --> 50:34.992
Yeah, it's a good thing.

50:35.052 --> 50:36.113
I mean, you wouldn't know it.

50:36.193 --> 50:36.553
I don't know.

50:36.613 --> 50:46.540
Perhaps they feel as if they would like to be more successful in some way, but from the fans' point of views, it's amazing because they are so tight now.

50:46.580 --> 50:50.502
They've been together however many, over 10 years, you know, maybe 15 years.

50:51.643 --> 50:57.325
They're incredibly tight, they've got these amazing songs in their catalogue, and they're loud.

50:57.465 --> 51:04.887
Man, it is really... I was deaf for about a day afterwards, I should have worn earplugs to that gig, but what a fantastic show it was.

51:05.147 --> 51:10.148
And so, you know, if you've never seen Supergrass before, boy, I really recommend you catch them whenever you get the chance.

51:10.708 --> 51:13.389
And this is one of their new ones, it's called Rebel In You.

51:16.495 --> 51:17.296
Text-a-nation!

51:17.356 --> 51:18.417
Text, text, text!

51:18.538 --> 51:19.298
Text-a-nation!

51:19.338 --> 51:20.299
What if I don't want to?

51:20.560 --> 51:21.260
Text-a-nation!

51:21.280 --> 51:23.283
But I'm using email, is that a problem?

51:23.323 --> 51:24.163
It doesn't matter, text!

51:26.536 --> 51:27.056
Yes, it is.

51:27.276 --> 51:27.636
Uh, sorry.

51:27.796 --> 51:28.357
Textination time.

51:28.397 --> 51:37.760
Before that, you heard Rebel and You by Supergrass, and I just remember that I- I promised the, uh, coat check girl at the Astoria that I would give her a name check because she looked after my bag really nicely.

51:37.820 --> 51:38.680
Helen, thank you very much.

51:38.700 --> 51:40.141
What do you mean by looked after your bag?

51:40.161 --> 51:40.761
For doing that.

51:41.161 --> 51:43.202
Well, she made sure no one ran off with it.

51:43.302 --> 51:43.942
What are you thinking?

51:43.982 --> 51:45.723
What- what possibly could that mean?

51:45.883 --> 51:47.704
Oh, your- like your bag, right?

51:47.844 --> 51:48.084
Sorry.

51:48.524 --> 51:49.505
What the heck were you thinking of?

51:49.665 --> 51:52.167
It's time to read some of the Text-The-Nation texts.

51:52.547 --> 51:56.290
We've been asking you to text in stories about meeting your heroes.

51:56.970 --> 51:57.631
What's the matter?

51:57.651 --> 51:58.291
My bad.

51:58.952 --> 51:59.953
For goodness sake.

51:59.993 --> 52:01.414
Carry on.

52:01.474 --> 52:05.297
Stories about when you've humiliated yourself in front of some sort of a celebrity.

52:07.979 --> 52:09.660
And you've sent lots of them in, so here are some.

52:09.700 --> 52:10.160
Are you ready?

52:10.300 --> 52:10.521
Yep.

52:11.241 --> 52:11.682
Here's one.

52:11.822 --> 52:13.223
Okay, this is about Paul McGahn.

52:13.523 --> 52:14.424
You remember Paul McGahn?

52:14.444 --> 52:16.266
What do you mean you remember Paul McGahn?

52:16.306 --> 52:17.988
Well, the younger listeners might not know who he is.

52:18.028 --> 52:19.910
He was in Withnel and I and Doctor Who.

52:20.591 --> 52:21.752
And the monocled mutineer.

52:21.992 --> 52:22.272
Right.

52:22.533 --> 52:23.934
This is from Vicks in Brighton.

52:23.954 --> 52:30.581
I once drunkenly vomited in Paul McGahn's lap while telling him I didn't like his hair in Doctor Who.

52:30.801 --> 52:31.502
That's extreme.

52:31.582 --> 52:33.284
He was surprisingly kind about it.

52:34.745 --> 52:43.689
He must be an amazingly kind man because that's horribly insulting both physically, to have the vomit in your lap, and to have your hair insulted.

52:44.069 --> 52:45.670
That's way over the line.

52:45.690 --> 52:49.172
I mean, he would be well within his rights to just give you a little duffing there.

52:49.232 --> 52:50.172
Yeah, exactly.

52:50.212 --> 52:52.473
If he beat you up, he would get off in court.

52:52.553 --> 52:58.656
At the very least, he would, you know, he'd be all right just to scream at you and say, why don't you get away from me, you freak?

52:59.176 --> 53:04.820
Ian in Twickenham says, my girlfriend fell off her seat as we were leaving a restaurant in front of Paul Gascoigne.

53:05.181 --> 53:09.263
It was about seven years ago when he was with Cheryl, Cheryl, and not mad.

53:09.844 --> 53:17.249
Anyway, it was embarrassing, so I dragged her up quickly by the hand, not realising she'd fractured her wrist in the fall.

53:17.810 --> 53:26.416
We spent the rest of the day in Hampstead Free Hospital, but I like that because it means that not embarrassing yourself in front of Paul Gascoigne is more important.

53:26.696 --> 53:29.058
than the welfare of your girlfriend.

53:29.098 --> 53:30.859
Yeah, than her fractured wrist.

53:30.979 --> 53:32.360
That is terrible, yeah.

53:32.400 --> 53:35.662
That's an illustration of the kind of weird chemistry we're talking about here.

53:36.062 --> 53:37.503
Here's one from Bruce in Newbury.

53:38.084 --> 53:47.410
When asked to get Helena Bonham Carter's autograph by a friend, I panicked, and instead of talking to her, blew a large raspberry, shouted ass, and ran away.

53:48.410 --> 53:49.331
She looked scared.

53:50.171 --> 53:52.171
So he flipped.

53:52.231 --> 53:54.712
He went 360 degrees the other way, 180 degrees maybe.

53:54.792 --> 53:55.072
Yeah.

53:55.192 --> 54:03.955
You know, this is a strange thing that does happen with a lot of fans is that they feel the best way to deal with their inner humiliation is to insult the famous person.

54:03.975 --> 54:05.256
Is to go on the offensive, yeah.

54:06.176 --> 54:07.918
And that's not enjoyable for us.

54:08.058 --> 54:08.858
I know all about that.

54:08.918 --> 54:10.559
I read the texts and emails we get.

54:11.900 --> 54:13.141
I understand that dynamic.

54:14.302 --> 54:15.963
Here's an anonymous one, I think.

54:16.123 --> 54:18.245
I met Simon Callow once in Birmingham.

54:18.725 --> 54:20.887
I couldn't think of anything to say, so I shouted

54:21.167 --> 54:22.048
I'm gay, you know?

54:22.068 --> 54:25.572
And he started laughing and waving at me.

54:25.592 --> 54:27.634
That's good, isn't it?

54:27.654 --> 54:28.675
Yo, I'm gay too!

54:28.795 --> 54:29.596
Hi!

54:29.896 --> 54:30.837
Simon Gallo.

54:30.857 --> 54:32.118
Gay thing goes wicked, isn't it?

54:32.158 --> 54:32.679
Gay!

54:32.919 --> 54:33.200
You!

54:33.280 --> 54:33.600
Me!

54:33.780 --> 54:34.140
Gay!

54:34.181 --> 54:34.741
Both gay.

54:34.801 --> 54:35.222
Okay.

54:35.242 --> 54:37.124
Petrosexual people should do that as well.

54:37.144 --> 54:37.964
Yeah.

54:38.225 --> 54:38.685
Hey!

54:38.885 --> 54:39.246
Straight.

54:39.326 --> 54:39.726
I'm straight.

54:39.746 --> 54:40.427
You straight, right?

54:40.647 --> 54:40.968
All right.

54:41.008 --> 54:41.488
Straight, mate.

54:41.528 --> 54:42.029
Straight, mate.

54:42.069 --> 54:43.030
You're straight!

54:43.778 --> 54:44.399
Hey mate.

54:44.659 --> 54:46.080
It's just a jishua de vivre.

54:46.240 --> 54:48.242
See Ricky Gervais.

54:48.342 --> 54:49.563
Alright Ricky!

54:49.723 --> 54:51.284
Women hey!

54:52.064 --> 54:52.965
That would work, he'd like that.

54:53.025 --> 54:54.046
He'd love it because he's straight.

54:54.346 --> 54:56.048
Here's one from Jordan Sheffield.

54:56.728 --> 54:58.269
Not so much me but my dad.

54:58.649 --> 55:02.132
At Easter we saw Jude Law at Petersfield Railway Station.

55:02.192 --> 55:03.373
I'd be frightened of Jude Law.

55:03.593 --> 55:06.295
I was very excited and told dad to take a look at him.

55:06.676 --> 55:09.578
The law man was near enough to hear my enthusiasm.

55:10.018 --> 55:15.932
And he turned to give me a withering look just as my dad loudly announced that he didn't know who Jude Law was.

55:17.099 --> 55:19.341
And anyway, he's got a very tatty briefcase.

55:21.102 --> 55:25.145
Jude gave us such a filthy look, I practically had to go home and wash it off.

55:27.567 --> 55:28.728
Who's that from?

55:28.768 --> 55:29.789
George in Sheffield.

55:29.869 --> 55:30.690
Very good text.

55:30.710 --> 55:31.230
Very good.

55:31.310 --> 55:32.391
And one last text.

55:33.672 --> 55:37.155
I started to talk to Danny from Supergrass in a club once.

55:37.855 --> 55:42.719
I was drinking wine from a whisky tumbler at the time and decided to compliment him on a Supergrass song.

55:43.560 --> 55:45.021
Obviously I picked a rare one.

55:45.521 --> 55:47.102
so that I seemed cool and knowledgeable.

55:47.902 --> 55:51.004
Unfortunately, I got the title entirely wrong.

55:51.264 --> 55:53.065
He didn't know what I was talking about.

55:53.606 --> 56:00.450
All I then did, or all I then remember is drunkenly trying to tell him, no, you did write that song, and then being sick in a bin.

56:01.310 --> 56:02.271
He looked to ghast.

56:02.571 --> 56:04.312
I like ones that climax with throwing up.

56:05.232 --> 56:07.954
It's so like neurotic and anxious making is the situation.

56:08.174 --> 56:11.137
It's a good physical illustration of how you're feeling.

56:11.157 --> 56:12.358
Do you want a quick Tom Yorke one?

56:12.578 --> 56:13.038
Oh yeah, go on.

56:13.058 --> 56:15.220
I haven't pre-read this one, so I don't know what's in it.

56:15.340 --> 56:17.621
I saw Tom Yorke in Oxford train station.

56:17.942 --> 56:21.544
He is a lifetime idol, so I felt compelled to go and speak to him.

56:22.125 --> 56:24.847
He was buying a smoothie, so I saw my chance.

56:25.327 --> 56:30.231
I managed to choose the one moment when he was getting handed the change to go and shake his hand.

56:30.771 --> 56:38.375
This caused great confusion between the cashier, Tom and me, all trying to shake, receive change and give change at the same time.

56:38.395 --> 56:40.316
This was amazingly awkward.

56:40.356 --> 56:43.258
All I could manage was a nervous laugh and then scuttle away.

56:43.899 --> 56:47.380
He then got on the same train as me and got off in Taunton, my hometown.

56:47.681 --> 56:51.563
This managed to make sure I was a blithering wreck for the rest of the day.

56:51.903 --> 56:56.448
Yeah, you see, and Tom would not have been aware of any of that psychodrama, I would have thought.

56:56.468 --> 56:57.389
You've gotta time it right.

56:57.650 --> 56:57.770
Yeah.

56:57.790 --> 56:59.151
It's very important to time it right.

56:59.352 --> 57:06.119
So keep those texts coming in about your embarrassing encounters with famous people, 64046, Adamandjo.6musicatpvc.co.uk.

57:06.360 --> 57:09.683
Just before we play this next track, which Joe has picked for you.

57:09.724 --> 57:10.044
What is it?

57:10.464 --> 57:11.345
Erland, oh yeah.

57:11.365 --> 57:11.586
Oh yeah.

57:12.226 --> 57:18.570
I was gonna say, you know, on the subject of people getting facts wrong about the people they meet, you mentioned that Danny from Supergrass won.

57:19.071 --> 57:22.573
Have you checked out the clip on YouTube of John Cusack doing an interview?

57:22.693 --> 57:25.935
He's being interviewed by this girl from a student.

57:27.016 --> 57:28.257
She gets all her Cusack facts wrong.

57:28.337 --> 57:32.980
And she says, I've had so weird seeing you because we were just watching American Beauty.

57:33.000 --> 57:34.221
And he goes, right.

57:34.681 --> 57:35.582
What's amazing about that?

57:36.022 --> 57:37.003
Well, because you were in it.

57:37.443 --> 57:37.823
Oh, it wasn't.

57:38.504 --> 57:39.064
It's amazing.

57:39.104 --> 57:39.504
Check it out.

57:39.564 --> 57:42.967
Type in John Cusack Wrong Interview or something into YouTube.

57:42.987 --> 57:43.447
You'll find it.

57:43.687 --> 57:44.528
So here's a free play.

57:44.548 --> 57:46.069
This is Arland Oye.

57:46.109 --> 57:47.350
He's one of Kings of Convenience.

57:47.410 --> 57:49.351
And he also has a band called The Whitest Boy Alive.

57:49.391 --> 57:51.773
But this is his kind of electronica album called Unrest.

57:51.813 --> 57:52.573
It's a great album.

57:53.714 --> 57:56.216
It is very good as well as being great.

57:56.256 --> 57:56.936
It's also very good.

57:57.236 --> 57:58.657
And it's got some crazy lyrics.

57:58.697 --> 58:00.498
He speaks very fast, but you should listen closely.

58:00.538 --> 58:04.721
He's got lyrics including, When in Rome, they're digging to extend the lines.

58:05.061 --> 58:07.123
They're running into ruins, got to stop all the time.

58:07.843 --> 58:25.655
and stuff like bought a CD player to be checking our song didn't do recordables so we moved along stuff like that that's really good stuff and then in the middle watch out for the moment when the song stops and he does possibly the worst chat up line in the history of chat up lines he says what's your name you want to come in room

58:26.916 --> 58:29.838
Which is really odd, if I was a woman I wouldn't go in room with him.

58:30.679 --> 58:33.802
This is Erland Oye with Bregu Amore.

58:34.002 --> 58:35.583
You're not a big fan of that one then, Joe.

58:35.904 --> 58:43.030
Well, I don't mind that track, but it does remind me of a very depressing period in the life of the country and, you know, my childhood.

58:43.110 --> 58:48.535
There was Bronsky Beat, Incidentally, listeners with Small Town Boy, and it brings back a lot of traumatic memories for Joe

58:48.615 --> 58:55.038
Well that makes it sound like I was a sort of gay, bald, closeted man riding on a train.

58:55.218 --> 58:55.458
Yeah.

58:55.638 --> 58:56.398
In the suburbs.

58:56.759 --> 58:57.819
Which I sort of was.

58:58.399 --> 59:00.320
But it was a depressing time, wasn't it?

59:00.360 --> 59:10.024
You know, Thatcher and AIDS and depression and small, bald, repressed men in speedos in council swimming boats.

59:10.044 --> 59:11.225
Well that's what he was singing about.

59:11.245 --> 59:15.507
He was singing about how it wasn't such a welcoming place to live in, especially if you were.

59:16.427 --> 59:20.010
But that one just brings back memories of misery.

59:20.911 --> 59:22.332
Is kind of the bleak, isn't it?

59:22.352 --> 59:25.455
Especially the videos, all like... But our producer, Jude, loves it.

59:25.475 --> 59:25.835
She loves it.

59:25.855 --> 59:28.818
It's completely made her day to hear it, so that's the main thing.

59:29.798 --> 59:30.679
Shall we have the jingle?

59:30.699 --> 59:32.841
What if I don't want to?

59:32.861 --> 59:34.482
But I'm using email.

59:34.662 --> 59:35.723
Is that a problem?

59:42.930 --> 59:50.316
Text the Nation this week is stories of you humiliating yourselves in front of your idols or famous people.

59:51.076 --> 59:52.638
I'm going to read out some emails now.

59:52.698 --> 59:54.139
Are you ready for these, Adam Buxton?

59:54.179 --> 59:54.639
Yes, please.

59:55.280 --> 59:57.782
This is from Mike in Wivenhoe.

59:58.342 --> 59:59.103
He says, Morning.

59:59.563 --> 01:00:00.123
Morning, Mike.

01:00:00.504 --> 01:00:04.447
I blagged my way into an album launch party and saw Charlie Hixon.

01:00:04.847 --> 01:00:14.917
Mmm, someone had lent me a Higgson novel a week earlier, and not knowing what to say to the great man, I tried to suck up to him by pretending that I was reading his book and that I really liked it.

01:00:15.598 --> 01:00:15.878
Really?

01:00:16.138 --> 01:00:16.639
Which one?

01:00:16.779 --> 01:00:17.239
he asked.

01:00:17.700 --> 01:00:18.320
I panicked.

01:00:18.841 --> 01:00:24.026
I'd been found out as a fraud, but luckily I recovered the situation by seamlessly responding.

01:00:25.067 --> 01:00:44.285
uh the green one green one and he got away with that did he he smiled pointedly and moved away yeah you know what i've humiliated myself with hixon really before yeah because he's a hard man to read sometimes you know he can be he's nice and friendly very dry he's very dry he can be a little bit taciturn

01:00:45.105 --> 01:00:50.971
And we were out in a boozy place one time and everyone had had quite a lot to drink.

01:00:51.251 --> 01:00:53.593
And we got to talking about Michael Barrymore, I think.

01:00:53.833 --> 01:00:54.073
Right.

01:00:54.313 --> 01:00:59.898
And I just sort of got flustered and trotted out some fairly tabloid style views about Michael Barrymore.

01:01:00.279 --> 01:01:07.325
And he and Hixon quite rightly came to Barrymore's defense like in the name of level headedness and sort of saying,

01:01:07.685 --> 01:01:09.066
You know, you don't really know what you're talking about.

01:01:09.126 --> 01:01:12.570
All you've been... you're just regurgitating stuff you've read in the tabloids.

01:01:12.930 --> 01:01:14.451
You don't really know what the man's like at all.

01:01:14.471 --> 01:01:15.993
You don't know the true facts of the case.

01:01:16.013 --> 01:01:19.817
I was like, ooh, that's a good point, isn't it?

01:01:19.837 --> 01:01:21.858
Anyway, okay, bye-bye.

01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:24.581
It was awful.

01:01:24.601 --> 01:01:25.081
Crikey.

01:01:26.263 --> 01:01:28.164
Here's another one from Stephen Riley.

01:01:28.885 --> 01:01:30.146
This is a short and sweet one.

01:01:31.107 --> 01:01:36.289
In a nightclub in Glasgow, my friend got Johnny Vaughan in a headlock and took him around saying, look who I've got.

01:01:36.309 --> 01:01:39.291
The end.

01:01:39.751 --> 01:01:40.951
That's quite good.

01:01:41.031 --> 01:01:41.852
I don't believe that one.

01:01:41.872 --> 01:01:43.312
I don't think Vaughanie would put up with that.

01:01:43.332 --> 01:01:44.653
He wouldn't put out with it for very long.

01:01:44.673 --> 01:01:45.774
He's a big strong chap.

01:01:45.814 --> 01:01:47.274
I mean, you put up with it for a little bit.

01:01:47.314 --> 01:01:55.178
Someone came up to me at the Supergrass gig the other day and this bloke sort of went, ugh, and put his arm around me and sort of grabbed me and got his camera out and stuck it in front of us.

01:01:55.218 --> 01:01:56.798
And he said, you don't mind, do you?

01:01:56.818 --> 01:02:00.140
I just want to take a picture of myself with someone mildly famous.

01:02:01.821 --> 01:02:04.725
Fair point, fair point.

01:02:04.785 --> 01:02:08.509
I'll mind in about 30 seconds if this continues, but for the moment go ahead.

01:02:08.990 --> 01:02:11.472
Johnny Back in Preston has sent this email.

01:02:11.953 --> 01:02:21.003
I came across a weird situation at my dad's house a few years ago when John Matson, commentator extraordinaire, was in my dad's housewarming party.

01:02:21.804 --> 01:02:38.444
It turned out my current dad's lady friend, I think he means my dad's current lady friend, knew Motti, and after doing the rational, excited phone call to my friends upstairs to say I was in his Mott's presence, I inevitably met him in the empty dining room gathering finger food.

01:02:39.165 --> 01:02:40.446
I'm sure how to approach him.

01:02:40.826 --> 01:02:42.846
I said, I was my dad's son.

01:02:43.267 --> 01:02:53.911
This seemed like a good start, but then there was a silence, and I blurted out that I loved his work, to which he scurried away, and I was left a destroyed and confused teenager, been replaying it ever since.

01:02:53.971 --> 01:02:55.271
That's a good example.

01:02:55.371 --> 01:02:56.512
Motti would have been flattered.

01:02:56.572 --> 01:03:03.354
He may not have been able to respond exactly the way he wanted, but there's no way, unless he was clinically insane, that he wouldn't have appreciated that.

01:03:03.734 --> 01:03:08.276
It's just that you can't always think of exactly the right words to reciprocate.

01:03:08.536 --> 01:03:10.137
Can you love a commentator's work?

01:03:10.578 --> 01:03:11.078
Certainly.

01:03:11.238 --> 01:03:14.581
Would you have albums of someone's commentary over a particular game?

01:03:14.621 --> 01:03:23.989
Well, it's difficult for us to say because we're not big sport heads, you know, but certainly people who are into their sport, they absolutely... Yeah, a good commentator brings it to life, adds an extra level, can make or break a game, it's true.

01:03:24.009 --> 01:03:24.449
Very much so.

01:03:24.589 --> 01:03:27.611
I love Mutty's work, I don't even know it.

01:03:27.651 --> 01:03:33.256
Here's one from Angus Malcolm, who's put his full address, I like people who put their full addresses, because we can get them.

01:03:33.396 --> 01:03:33.736
Yeah.

01:03:34.097 --> 01:03:39.281
I was at a party and met a guy whose partner turned out to... Oh, I wasn't going to read this one actually, but I've started, so I'll have to.

01:03:40.703 --> 01:03:44.326
I was at a party and met a guy whose partner turned out to be Sinead O'Connor.

01:03:44.386 --> 01:03:45.067
This was the 80s.

01:03:45.107 --> 01:03:46.108
No, we can't read that one.

01:03:46.928 --> 01:03:47.769
Okie dokie.

01:03:48.730 --> 01:03:51.572
I'll show that to Adam during the next record.

01:03:51.693 --> 01:03:51.933
Okay.

01:03:52.473 --> 01:03:54.814
Here's another one Steve Evans in Brighton morning chaps.

01:03:54.874 --> 01:03:58.115
I once stood on Douglas Adams is Benson and hedges Hmm.

01:03:58.375 --> 01:03:59.295
He kind of looked at me.

01:03:59.335 --> 01:04:04.997
That's a pretty good claim to fame already Yeah, don't you think he kind of looked at me and then signed my hitchhiker's book?

01:04:05.498 --> 01:04:09.039
I could tell by the intensity of the signature that he wasn't best, please Mm-hmm.

01:04:09.339 --> 01:04:13.540
I also used to work in borders in Brighton and JK Rowling came in to do a signing So I asked her out.

01:04:13.660 --> 01:04:14.661
She said no her loss

01:04:18.083 --> 01:04:18.523
Steve Evans.

01:04:18.543 --> 01:04:26.149
There's more later, keep them coming in, 64046 or adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk It's Adele time.

01:04:26.169 --> 01:04:27.390
This is Cold Shoulder.

01:04:27.570 --> 01:04:29.712
That's Adele with Cold Shoulder.

01:04:29.732 --> 01:04:32.134
This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music.

01:04:32.174 --> 01:04:35.917
It's a lovely Saturday morning here in London Town.

01:04:35.957 --> 01:04:37.758
I hope it's as nice where you are.

01:04:37.998 --> 01:04:44.500
It's a lovely Saturday morning here in London town The pearly kings and pearly queens are walking up and down.

01:04:45.020 --> 01:04:45.441
Carry on.

01:04:45.501 --> 01:04:46.001
That's the end.

01:04:46.041 --> 01:04:46.321
I can't.

01:04:46.341 --> 01:04:47.121
That's the end of that song.

01:04:47.161 --> 01:04:48.121
That's good though, isn't it?

01:04:48.181 --> 01:04:48.802
I love that song.

01:04:49.622 --> 01:04:52.803
We still need suggestions for next week's Song Wars.

01:04:52.883 --> 01:04:54.944
A good subject for Song Wars next week.

01:04:55.184 --> 01:04:55.944
Jude's making it.

01:04:56.024 --> 01:04:57.244
Our producer's making a note.

01:04:57.805 --> 01:04:59.565
She makes notes after we do links.

01:04:59.905 --> 01:05:01.466
It's a bit like having a teacher.

01:05:02.446 --> 01:05:17.839
uh like ticking or crossing our performance she made a note after that song uh she had a very sort of sober look on her face i don't think she liked the song i think she's made a note saying she might be making a note saying joe let's to sing the song let's put joe's song in the podcast

01:05:18.859 --> 01:05:19.300
Really?

01:05:19.480 --> 01:05:20.080
There you go.

01:05:20.541 --> 01:05:23.883
She loves your songs.

01:05:24.604 --> 01:05:25.344
What about that one?

01:05:25.945 --> 01:05:27.105
Here, I'm making a note now.

01:05:27.626 --> 01:05:31.949
Make sure Jew doesn't put Joe's song on the podcast, because it's not that good.

01:05:32.930 --> 01:05:36.052
But yeah, we still need suggestions for song wars, okay listeners?

01:05:36.112 --> 01:05:39.194
And we've only got less than 45 minutes to go, so you know.

01:05:39.214 --> 01:05:40.635
We've got a few that have come in.

01:05:40.735 --> 01:05:40.996
Have we?

01:05:41.676 --> 01:05:41.836
Yes.

01:05:41.956 --> 01:05:42.417
Any good ones?

01:05:42.437 --> 01:05:43.779
Yeah, do you want me to read them now?

01:05:43.819 --> 01:05:46.222
Let's have a quick look at some of them, yeah.

01:05:46.342 --> 01:05:47.403
Quick look at some of the song wars.

01:05:47.443 --> 01:05:52.810
First of all, there's an angry one from Bill in Derby who says that we blew him out with the movie trailer wars idea.

01:05:52.890 --> 01:05:53.871
That's true, Bill.

01:05:53.931 --> 01:05:54.492
Sorry about that.

01:05:55.133 --> 01:05:56.534
And then he voted for my tune.

01:05:56.575 --> 01:05:59.238
He was one of the 25% that liked my little song.

01:06:01.031 --> 01:06:29.701
uh... there's another one here from somebody called Alice Whittaker uh... she says i've got an idea for song wars next week inspired by your orange juice anecdote perhaps something on the theme of childhood memories you could either choose one at random or pick a generic theme such as the first day of school parents evening or pick something you both remember and convey both sides of the story she's got more ideas there it's quite an involved uh... email someone else says Michael Paley says what about a song based on public information advice Michael Palin

01:06:30.461 --> 01:06:30.781
Paley.

01:06:31.001 --> 01:06:31.822
Michael Palin?

01:06:32.142 --> 01:06:32.522
Paley.

01:06:33.923 --> 01:06:34.683
We did that already.

01:06:34.924 --> 01:06:37.165
We did instructional songs already, I'm afraid, Mike.

01:06:37.265 --> 01:06:37.925
Michael, Mikey.

01:06:38.065 --> 01:06:38.726
Michael Palin.

01:06:38.746 --> 01:06:39.766
Yeah, Michael Palin, thanks.

01:06:39.846 --> 01:06:40.727
Oh, that's a good idea, though, Michael.

01:06:40.747 --> 01:06:41.687
Good luck on your travels.

01:06:41.987 --> 01:06:42.208
Yes.

01:06:43.248 --> 01:06:44.569
Say hello to the Dalai Lama, please.

01:06:44.629 --> 01:06:45.610
And the Monty Python.

01:06:45.790 --> 01:06:46.730
And the Monty Python.

01:06:47.050 --> 01:06:48.331
Here's one from David Melbourne.

01:06:48.691 --> 01:06:55.995
He says, my idea for the Song Wars theme is worst cinema experience, which can include bad movies or talkers or loud eaters, etc.

01:06:57.376 --> 01:06:58.136
Uh, that's a good idea.

01:06:58.156 --> 01:07:00.757
I feel that we would probably go for exactly the same content.

01:07:01.477 --> 01:07:03.078
It's not that musical though, do you know what I mean?

01:07:03.098 --> 01:07:06.578
It doesn't, it doesn't immediately suggest a... You could do at once the Perlondine tune.

01:07:06.918 --> 01:07:07.699
Right?

01:07:07.779 --> 01:07:09.239
Yeah, musical things you could do.

01:07:09.259 --> 01:07:09.999
The Kaya Aura.

01:07:10.199 --> 01:07:11.440
It's not clearable though, is it?

01:07:11.460 --> 01:07:12.660
We need to keep doing so.

01:07:12.700 --> 01:07:13.560
That's true, that's true.

01:07:13.580 --> 01:07:15.641
Daytime television, says Rob Gold.

01:07:15.761 --> 01:07:16.001
Uh-huh.

01:07:16.801 --> 01:07:17.541
That's not a bad idea.

01:07:17.561 --> 01:07:18.842
I mean, there's all sorts of things you could do.

01:07:18.862 --> 01:07:20.243
You could do something about loose women.

01:07:21.424 --> 01:07:24.485
You could do a one-minute one about 60-minute makeover.

01:07:24.805 --> 01:07:25.126
Yes.

01:07:25.146 --> 01:07:25.726
How about that?

01:07:25.746 --> 01:07:27.247
With a whistle at the beginning of the end.

01:07:27.687 --> 01:07:27.967
Yeah.

01:07:28.107 --> 01:07:30.549
And that would, you know, keep it down to one minute as well.

01:07:30.909 --> 01:07:31.929
Yeah, that's a good idea.

01:07:31.989 --> 01:07:32.750
Everybody say something.

01:07:32.770 --> 01:07:33.870
So that's in the lead, maybe.

01:07:33.911 --> 01:07:36.372
Someone else, Lewis in Liss Forest.

01:07:36.872 --> 01:07:39.414
I think for Song Wars next week, you should write songs about each other.

01:07:39.914 --> 01:07:40.334
That's a good idea.

01:07:40.354 --> 01:07:43.336
That's often suggested we were going to do it for Valentine's Day, weren't we?

01:07:43.376 --> 01:07:44.416
But there's something went wrong.

01:07:44.436 --> 01:07:45.297
There was no Song Wars.

01:07:45.757 --> 01:07:46.397
There we go.

01:07:47.318 --> 01:07:51.399
So keep those coming in as well and we'll get back to your text the nation text as well.

01:07:51.839 --> 01:07:52.960
Very soon.

01:07:53.020 --> 01:07:55.801
Now here's a track from a new hot band.

01:07:56.021 --> 01:07:57.462
Have you heard of Fleet Foxes?

01:07:58.122 --> 01:07:58.362
No.

01:07:58.742 --> 01:08:03.064
Well there's a lot of kind of psychedelic folk units around at the moment.

01:08:03.104 --> 01:08:08.306
A lot of them come from the American states and Grizzly Bear have you heard of them?

01:08:09.027 --> 01:08:09.968
No, yes, they're good.

01:08:10.108 --> 01:08:23.308
They're really good and they sound similar to fleet foxes They've got a similar thing going on there, but that's not to do down fleet foxes Their debut album is out in a month or so I think and is it just called fleet foxes?

01:08:24.669 --> 01:08:29.493
I'm not sure about that, but I think it might be eponymous, and this track is called Ragged Wood.

01:08:29.553 --> 01:08:30.373
Hope you enjoy this.

01:08:30.593 --> 01:08:31.354
That was very nice.

01:08:31.394 --> 01:08:36.137
That was a free play chosen by Adam Buxton, and that was Fleet Foxes with Ragged Wood.

01:08:36.577 --> 01:08:37.118
Am I correct?

01:08:37.498 --> 01:08:38.078
Yes, absolutely.

01:08:38.118 --> 01:08:41.621
And Jude was pointing out that it also sounds very much like My Morning Jacket.

01:08:41.661 --> 01:08:45.984
I suppose that very echoey, reverb-heavy vocal there.

01:08:46.244 --> 01:08:47.365
Very nice indeed.

01:08:47.725 --> 01:08:48.866
Hope you enjoyed that, listeners.

01:08:49.406 --> 01:08:54.389
Now don't forget, listeners, a podcast of this show is available from the Sunday evening after the show.

01:08:54.449 --> 01:09:02.494
It's up there on the BBC Six music website and another commercial podcast site from Sunday evening.

01:09:03.134 --> 01:09:05.715
I'm quite obsessed with our position in the podcast chart.

01:09:06.076 --> 01:09:06.216
Right.

01:09:06.456 --> 01:09:07.136
There's a top ten.

01:09:07.156 --> 01:09:09.297
If you're in the top ten, you get on the front page.

01:09:09.398 --> 01:09:10.158
How often do you check?

01:09:10.878 --> 01:09:11.479
Twice a day.

01:09:11.599 --> 01:09:11.939
No.

01:09:12.659 --> 01:09:13.120
Sometimes.

01:09:13.780 --> 01:09:35.628
more often than you brush your teeth it's part of my surfing ritual you know if you're going to work on your computer and you boot up your computer you'll inevitably have 10 or 11 things you do before you actually get down to any work check the podcast look at some knockers exactly film site exactly it's one of my little ritual things i check anyway so i'm depressed to see that we've dropped out of the top 10 we've gone down to number 12 it's bound to happen

01:09:35.888 --> 01:09:38.811
And that's because two exciting new podcasts have launched.

01:09:38.871 --> 01:09:44.496
And the podcast chart works in such a way as it's the most new subscriptions that day, even.

01:09:44.556 --> 01:09:45.958
It seems to be updated all the time.

01:09:46.198 --> 01:09:47.699
Nobody really knows how it works.

01:09:48.240 --> 01:09:54.265
But we've been pushed out of the top 10 by a Radio 4 sports comedy show called Look Away Now.

01:09:54.766 --> 01:09:56.928
So I'm thinking we should do some more sports comedy.

01:09:57.528 --> 01:10:13.946
can you do some sports comedy make a sports joke something ball-based yeah yeah yeah oh man that's difficult if there's any horse racing this weekend the going is gonna be tough and if the tough gets going

01:10:14.711 --> 01:10:15.671
The... Yes!

01:10:15.731 --> 01:10:16.492
No, I can't, I can't!

01:10:16.592 --> 01:10:19.053
Yes, sports comedy, that was good, that was good, that was nearly there!

01:10:19.693 --> 01:10:22.814
Okay, and the other thing we've been pushed out by... What, have you got it?

01:10:22.994 --> 01:10:24.915
The tough gets rougher.

01:10:25.816 --> 01:10:26.756
Billy Ocean.

01:10:27.156 --> 01:10:28.577
Something with Billy Ocean.

01:10:28.757 --> 01:10:31.818
That's good, that's good, there's a template for a joke anyway, we work on that.

01:10:32.058 --> 01:10:41.042
The other thing that we've... Because that's going to satisfy the sports comedy fans now, they're going to abandon the Radio 4 podcast and come to us for sports comedy now that you did that one, yep.

01:10:41.622 --> 01:10:44.844
And football and the word balls as well.

01:10:44.884 --> 01:10:46.044
Yeah, have a keep thinking.

01:10:46.104 --> 01:10:46.905
Okay, tricky one.

01:10:47.225 --> 01:10:53.989
The other thing we've been pushed out by is the Ann Summers guide to dot dot dot open brackets, explicit closed brackets.

01:10:54.609 --> 01:10:55.689
Oh, well, that's fair enough, isn't it?

01:10:55.709 --> 01:11:00.652
So that's obviously some kind of explicit sexual advice podcast.

01:11:00.772 --> 01:11:03.874
There's a few of those out there, you know, I'm amazed that they always get big ratings.

01:11:03.914 --> 01:11:04.254
Yeah.

01:11:04.434 --> 01:11:07.536
So can we do some non explicit sexual advice at all?

01:11:08.716 --> 01:11:10.677
Uh, well then it would be like sexual and marital problem.

01:11:10.717 --> 01:11:12.158
Actually no, sexual and marital problem's on LBC.

01:11:12.178 --> 01:11:13.198
Keep, keep, keep clean.

01:11:13.538 --> 01:11:14.058
Absolutely filthy.

01:11:14.078 --> 01:11:14.899
Have a bath every day.

01:11:14.919 --> 01:11:15.199
Yeah.

01:11:15.219 --> 01:11:18.420
Uh, and just don't... Wash your bits.

01:11:18.460 --> 01:11:18.760
Tug.

01:11:19.060 --> 01:11:19.280
What?

01:11:19.481 --> 01:11:20.561
Wash your bits, I'm saying.

01:11:20.721 --> 01:11:21.041
Yes.

01:11:21.641 --> 01:11:22.882
As if by... That's slightly explicit.

01:11:22.922 --> 01:11:23.542
It is a little bit explicit.

01:11:23.562 --> 01:11:25.003
I think you should be less explicit.

01:11:25.543 --> 01:11:27.584
Uh, wash all over.

01:11:28.084 --> 01:11:28.444
Yeah.

01:11:29.245 --> 01:11:32.467
Has that, uh... I don't think this is gonna do us any favors, you know?

01:11:32.487 --> 01:11:36.509
You don't think that people looking for sexual advice will come to us now?

01:11:36.549 --> 01:11:37.250
I don't think so.

01:11:37.270 --> 01:11:39.251
I was hoping it would get us back in the top ten.

01:11:39.371 --> 01:11:40.792
Anyway, please subscribe, listeners.

01:11:41.132 --> 01:11:42.373
Get us back up there, okay?

01:11:42.453 --> 01:11:47.236
You know, it's a free, fun thing that flops in there every week and, uh... That sounds like non-explicit sexual advice now.

01:11:47.256 --> 01:11:48.857
That is a little bit explicit, isn't it?

01:11:48.957 --> 01:11:50.057
I'm gonna play some music for you.

01:11:50.097 --> 01:11:54.320
This is Serge Gainsbourg, uh, with Balladee de Meledinelthon.

01:11:54.360 --> 01:11:55.321
It's probably dirty as well.

01:11:55.361 --> 01:11:56.781
It is a little bit dirty.

01:11:56.962 --> 01:11:57.542
It's a little...

01:11:57.942 --> 01:12:02.305
A little tiny slice of sexiness there from Serge Gensberg.

01:12:02.586 --> 01:12:09.511
That's a ballad de melody Nelson from the amazing album that is titled similarly there.

01:12:09.851 --> 01:12:11.532
This is Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music.

01:12:11.552 --> 01:12:13.434
It's time for the news with Nicky Cardwell.

01:12:13.734 --> 01:12:16.196
Someone's car alarm going off during that song.

01:12:16.856 --> 01:12:17.717
I'm not sure if it's yours.

01:12:17.877 --> 01:12:20.119
That's all about the house that Funk built.

01:12:20.919 --> 01:12:23.701
Yes, she says at the beginning this is the house that Funk built.

01:12:23.961 --> 01:12:25.121
Not a very stable house.

01:12:25.962 --> 01:12:27.403
Very peculiarly decorated.

01:12:27.543 --> 01:12:28.223
Be awful.

01:12:28.303 --> 01:12:28.984
Ill-fitting brakes.

01:12:29.004 --> 01:12:30.304
Shag pile carpets.

01:12:30.324 --> 01:12:31.505
Yeah, on the market very cheap.

01:12:32.205 --> 01:12:33.066
It's a fixer-upper.

01:12:33.286 --> 01:12:34.547
Wobbly walls there.

01:12:35.027 --> 01:12:38.049
That's of course a song about the boots of cars.

01:12:38.349 --> 01:12:39.730
But the foundations would be deep.

01:12:40.839 --> 01:12:41.599
They would, wouldn't they?

01:12:41.679 --> 01:12:42.580
Deep, deep, deep house.

01:12:42.760 --> 01:12:43.160
Yeah.

01:12:43.760 --> 01:12:44.440
Exactly.

01:12:45.140 --> 01:12:45.901
That's filthy, isn't it?

01:12:45.961 --> 01:12:48.462
And it would have some good techno around the place.

01:12:48.482 --> 01:12:52.143
So it's pure pornography there from Groove Armada with I See You Baby.

01:12:52.183 --> 01:12:54.184
I think it's time to wrap up Text the Nation.

01:12:54.204 --> 01:12:55.404
What were you going to say something there, Joe?

01:12:55.684 --> 01:12:57.905
No, I was going to say this is Adam and Joe on BBC Six Music.

01:12:57.965 --> 01:13:00.546
It's worth saying that every now and then, just so people feel orientated.

01:13:00.626 --> 01:13:03.147
Just so they know we're not just too random.

01:13:03.527 --> 01:13:05.447
Yeah, people like we sound.

01:13:05.587 --> 01:13:05.928
Exactly.

01:13:06.148 --> 01:13:08.248
It's time to wrap up the segment known as...

01:13:13.397 --> 01:13:15.341
What if I don't want to?

01:13:15.442 --> 01:13:16.464
But I'm using email.

01:13:16.624 --> 01:13:17.306
Is that a problem?

01:13:20.583 --> 01:13:22.965
Okay, there are some very good ones, so I'm gonna speed through them.

01:13:23.465 --> 01:13:25.386
You better pay close attention.

01:13:25.446 --> 01:13:26.207
I'm paying attention.

01:13:26.247 --> 01:13:27.368
Listen, peel your ears.

01:13:27.788 --> 01:13:29.149
Here's one from Maisie and Harrow.

01:13:29.189 --> 01:13:34.012
When I was eight years old, I was at Kew Gardens with my parents, and my mum whispered, there's David Attenborough.

01:13:34.533 --> 01:13:41.738
For some reason, this compelled me to run as fast as I could, making a red Indian noise, until I tripped and fell down a little way in front of him.

01:13:41.998 --> 01:13:42.618
Kew's how old?

01:13:43.339 --> 01:13:43.479
Eight.

01:13:46.921 --> 01:13:49.223
That's the correct response to the sentence.

01:13:49.263 --> 01:13:50.124
There's David Attenborough.

01:13:50.164 --> 01:13:50.604
Exactly.

01:13:50.664 --> 01:13:52.065
Especially if you're in Kew Gardens.

01:13:52.426 --> 01:13:53.867
She knew it was embarrassing.

01:13:53.907 --> 01:13:57.270
So she just lay there, not moving until her mum picked her up.

01:13:57.750 --> 01:13:58.791
Oh, very sweet.

01:13:59.531 --> 01:14:02.454
Here is one from a person who is anonymous.

01:14:02.954 --> 01:14:08.158
I met the cockney rhymer James Blunt at dinner as he was dating my ex.

01:14:09.019 --> 01:14:14.682
I was sat next to him, and he had had a little too much—oh no, I had had—a little too much wine.

01:14:15.103 --> 01:14:20.826
I kept on asking him, in a horrible nasal voice, why he thought his life was brilliant.

01:14:21.326 --> 01:14:26.990
He apparently is permanently scarred by the experience, and I have a strange mix of pride and shame.

01:14:28.131 --> 01:14:29.472
I don't believe that he's permanently scarred.

01:14:29.492 --> 01:14:30.792
He must have to deal with that all the time.

01:14:30.832 --> 01:14:32.974
He just rubs a million pound note on his face.

01:14:33.274 --> 01:14:34.775
He seems like a nice person James Blood.

01:14:34.795 --> 01:14:35.215
He's lovely.

01:14:35.496 --> 01:14:41.019
Have you read like he's sort of launched a comeback offensive over the charm offensive over the last few months.

01:14:41.039 --> 01:14:43.621
His response to those accusations is very good.

01:14:43.841 --> 01:14:46.223
He says well look I just I do have an amazing life.

01:14:46.303 --> 01:14:47.243
I go around singing.

01:14:47.263 --> 01:14:48.224
I'm very rich.

01:14:48.304 --> 01:14:49.565
I date beautiful women.

01:14:49.965 --> 01:14:50.806
Call me what you want.

01:14:51.566 --> 01:14:53.748
His response which is sensible which is fine.

01:14:53.828 --> 01:14:55.269
I'm not having a midlife crisis.

01:14:55.449 --> 01:14:56.830
I'm having a midlife Christmas.

01:14:57.590 --> 01:15:03.834
Yes That was a joke the warm-up man at Chris Rock did yeah related to me.

01:15:04.095 --> 01:15:06.216
Yeah Here we go.

01:15:06.236 --> 01:15:25.609
Here's another one from will turland in Nottingham a few years ago I was on a night out in Rock City Nottingham a friend spotted minty out of crossroads on the dance floor I've got no idea that is but that's part of the charm I didn't even know who he was but it was overwhelmed by drunken excitement you too and ran towards him shouting

01:15:27.610 --> 01:15:29.931
Unfortunately, I fell on my arse right at his feet.

01:15:30.311 --> 01:15:33.193
Despite his large frame, he kindly bent down to help me up.

01:15:33.573 --> 01:15:34.993
Later, I was violently sick.

01:15:35.113 --> 01:15:35.694
There we go.

01:15:35.934 --> 01:15:36.814
That's the punchline.

01:15:36.834 --> 01:15:37.334
Me too!

01:15:37.835 --> 01:15:41.936
Here's another one from Lizzie.

01:15:42.096 --> 01:15:47.419
I went up to Amanda Barry, star of Cory and Carrie on Cleo, in a dark underground bar in London.

01:15:47.839 --> 01:15:52.761
She was wearing sunglasses, in a lost in showbiz kind of way, and I'd had a couple of glasses of wine.

01:15:53.181 --> 01:15:57.284
Despite this, I had a sensible conversation with her and she gave me her autograph.

01:15:57.364 --> 01:16:06.650
Then, as I made to leave, for some reason I thought it was a good idea to pull my own sunglasses down from the top of my head onto my face and tell her I was wearing them as a tribute.

01:16:07.431 --> 01:16:08.912
I left covered in embarrassment.

01:16:09.172 --> 01:16:11.133
So that's a last minute sarky joke.

01:16:11.393 --> 01:16:11.613
Yeah.

01:16:11.774 --> 01:16:13.735
Spoiling the atmosphere between the two of them.

01:16:14.335 --> 01:16:17.037
I shouldn't try and be funny in circumstances like this, should you really?

01:16:17.137 --> 01:16:19.359
Especially not if it's gone so well hitherto.

01:16:19.519 --> 01:16:21.600
No, I mean like circumstances like a radio show.

01:16:21.720 --> 01:16:22.821
You shouldn't try and be funny.

01:16:23.161 --> 01:16:23.981
Oh, I'm so sorry.

01:16:24.041 --> 01:16:24.322
Sorry.

01:16:24.962 --> 01:16:26.882
Here's another one from Robin Sheffield.

01:16:27.323 --> 01:16:30.104
I once met Phil Okey in a nightclub and lost for conversation.

01:16:30.144 --> 01:16:32.164
I asked him the black hit of space.

01:16:32.384 --> 01:16:33.325
What's that all about?

01:16:34.185 --> 01:16:36.486
But mused, he replied, the song was just a joke.

01:16:37.026 --> 01:16:38.427
So I wrapped it up with the words.

01:16:38.627 --> 01:16:40.167
Sorry, Phil, I'm really pissed.

01:16:42.468 --> 01:16:44.289
I bet Phil thinks about that a lot.

01:16:46.350 --> 01:16:47.750
And now, how much time have we got?

01:16:47.770 --> 01:16:49.291
Because do I need to whittle these down?

01:16:49.311 --> 01:16:51.132
I thought there's a couple I've got to get out here.

01:16:51.212 --> 01:16:54.413
Here, can I just tell you one more from my own memory box?

01:16:54.833 --> 01:16:58.555
This is something that I do think about every now and again, and it gives me the shivers.

01:16:58.895 --> 01:17:04.597
But I auditioned for a part in Black Books, the first series of Black Books, Graham Linehan's sitcom.

01:17:05.337 --> 01:17:09.019
And in the end, it was a part that was played by Nick Frost.

01:17:10.259 --> 01:17:12.220
Um, a repairman who comes in.

01:17:12.600 --> 01:17:14.800
And he's got a little action figure stuck in his hair or something.

01:17:14.820 --> 01:17:15.540
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:22.922
Um, so I went to audition for that part, and it was just after the actor Dermot Morgan, who played Father Ted, had died.

01:17:23.542 --> 01:17:30.784
And so I went in there, did an absolutely rubbish audition, and very flustered on my way out, shook Dylan Moran's hand and said,

01:17:31.164 --> 01:17:32.185
Nice to meet you, Dermot.

01:17:33.846 --> 01:17:34.206
Uh-oh.

01:17:34.747 --> 01:17:38.890
Sort of because he's the only other Graeme Linehan man I could think of.

01:17:38.990 --> 01:17:40.451
I fused them in my brain.

01:17:40.791 --> 01:17:42.032
He didn't look happy about it.

01:17:42.052 --> 01:17:43.233
Then I didn't get the part.

01:17:43.433 --> 01:17:45.214
I've whittled this down to my favourite three now.

01:17:45.514 --> 01:17:47.456
At number three, this is from Dave.

01:17:47.616 --> 01:17:49.837
I saw Sylvester McCoy in a pub in Cambridge.

01:17:50.117 --> 01:17:50.878
Hey, Sylvester.

01:17:51.218 --> 01:17:53.920
It's always bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside, eh?

01:17:54.300 --> 01:17:55.301
I leered drunkenly.

01:17:55.621 --> 01:17:56.802
He looked at me as if I was mad.

01:17:58.463 --> 01:18:01.944
Yeah, then Dave said at least I wasn't the most rubbish Doctor Who ever.

01:18:02.605 --> 01:18:03.565
It's very contentious.

01:18:03.585 --> 01:18:06.066
Here's another Doctor Who related one.

01:18:06.506 --> 01:18:07.867
Good morning, Adam and or Joe.

01:18:08.187 --> 01:18:12.168
I once saw David Tennant filming Doctor Who and took a photo of him as he walked past.

01:18:12.509 --> 01:18:15.750
I pressed the wrong button in my excitement and the batteries fell out.

01:18:16.090 --> 01:18:18.051
He looked at me, though I was a retard.

01:18:18.791 --> 01:18:20.392
Thank you, says Darren Floyd.

01:18:20.652 --> 01:18:21.552
That's good, isn't it?

01:18:21.752 --> 01:18:23.533
Yeah, it's a nice moment.

01:18:23.793 --> 01:18:26.134
I would think you would reach down and pick up the batteries for you.

01:18:26.334 --> 01:18:27.575
And finally, here's a great one.

01:18:27.595 --> 01:18:33.421
In the late 90s when I was working at the BBC in Pebble Mill, I was walking down an empty corridor chewing my fingernail.

01:18:33.961 --> 01:18:41.248
Just as I turned the corner of the corridor, I spat the piece of nail out and watched as it spun in slow motion and landed on the man walking towards me.

01:18:41.729 --> 01:18:42.770
It was John Craven.

01:18:42.990 --> 01:18:43.571
Ahhh... On the jumper...

01:19:02.965 --> 01:19:03.806
Nell in Manchester.

01:19:03.826 --> 01:19:04.506
That's the award.

01:19:04.546 --> 01:19:17.954
If we were allowed to give out prizes if this was a competition, Nell, you would win a brand new car and a caravan and a million pounds and a house in Barbados and an ancient Chinese wok and the Chippendale men to do your cleaning.

01:19:19.274 --> 01:19:22.016
Thank you very much indeed to everybody who texted an email.

01:19:22.056 --> 01:19:30.821
We read all your texts and all your emails and we're sorry if we didn't read your particular one out, but we thank you very much for all the effort you put into them as always.

01:19:31.641 --> 01:19:36.103
And don't forget that we still... Do we still want their suggestions for...?

01:19:36.723 --> 01:19:39.544
Don't forget that we're still training to do radio.

01:19:39.584 --> 01:19:40.284
Still training.

01:19:40.424 --> 01:19:43.725
So, if you feel the show's inadequate in any way, it's because we're still learning.

01:19:43.825 --> 01:19:45.386
We'll be ready in about four years.

01:19:45.506 --> 01:19:47.046
Get back to us then, it'll be amazing.

01:19:47.066 --> 01:19:48.007
We'll be tight as anything.

01:19:48.587 --> 01:19:53.088
Uh, no, are we gonna call a moratorium on suggestions for song wars?

01:19:53.148 --> 01:19:54.349
Let's come back to that in a moment.

01:19:54.389 --> 01:19:55.589
We've talked for a very long time.

01:19:55.629 --> 01:19:56.469
We should have some music.

01:19:56.569 --> 01:19:58.190
Okay, this is Sia with The Girl You Lost.

01:19:58.910 --> 01:20:00.271
See you there with a girl you lost.

01:20:00.371 --> 01:20:05.592
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC six music and It's Saturday, you know, what would be nice?

01:20:05.692 --> 01:20:13.274
No, and I don't mean to be contentious but would be to have a black female soul singer in the chart singing Black female soul.

01:20:13.554 --> 01:20:16.955
Well, there's loads though are there?

01:20:16.995 --> 01:20:22.117
This is what Estelle was complaining about actually in the music press recently that Amy Winehouse and

01:20:23.317 --> 01:20:39.889
and Sia and people like that are all um and what she called uh Duffy yeah are all kind of you know uh stealing the mobo oh come on i mean that's the history of pop and rock though i know does that make it right though no it doesn't make it right but there's still a lot of very prominent black artists

01:20:40.029 --> 01:20:47.713
I hear there's an amazing old ITV documentary from the 70s about the history of pop music being re-released on DVD.

01:20:47.793 --> 01:20:54.297
I'll read about it and say more about it next week, but apparently it covers a lot of stuff like that and people say it's one of the best

01:20:55.317 --> 01:20:58.299
television documents ever of the evolution of popular music.

01:20:59.079 --> 01:21:14.609
I'm going to try and pick that up this week and have a look at it, but apparently it's got a lot of stuff about that, you know, showing you exactly how black blues music was, prolonged by white artists in a very blatant way, you know, in the 50s and earlier even.

01:21:15.489 --> 01:21:29.638
So I'm not, this is not my opinion, I'm merely reporting what Estelle was talking about in the press and pointing it out that if you do have a look at the charts, there is a bit of a sort of a kind of a colour imbalance really in terms of the sort of music they're singing and its roots.

01:21:30.218 --> 01:21:33.100
Just opening it up as a little bit of conversation.

01:21:33.240 --> 01:21:34.701
There's different charts though now, aren't there?

01:21:34.721 --> 01:21:36.022
Yeah, but is that right?

01:21:36.722 --> 01:21:40.083
Wow, I mean, that's a whole other cattle of cod, isn't it?

01:21:40.103 --> 01:21:45.504
There are different charts, but I would say that the charts, in terms of the top ten, is a kind of overview of all of them.

01:21:45.544 --> 01:21:47.765
You know, it can include rock or R&B or metal.

01:21:47.785 --> 01:21:54.467
Well, it would be interesting to see what their figures were, but surely some of the most successful artists in the world are R&B artists at the moment.

01:21:54.667 --> 01:21:55.227
That's very true.

01:21:55.707 --> 01:21:56.047
You know?

01:21:56.087 --> 01:21:56.607
Chris Brown.

01:21:57.047 --> 01:21:57.547
Exactly.

01:21:57.808 --> 01:21:58.108
Usher.

01:21:58.608 --> 01:21:58.908
Ursher.

01:22:00.069 --> 01:22:00.990
So I don't know about it.

01:22:01.010 --> 01:22:15.167
It's just a trend anyway, you know in a quick few couple of months There's gonna be something else coming along isn't it and you'll look back and you'll think oh I'm glad that whole business of whiny white girls from the Sylvia Young School is put to bed now

01:22:17.630 --> 01:22:19.252
This is a free play chosen by me.

01:22:19.312 --> 01:22:20.493
This is a tortoise.

01:22:20.733 --> 01:22:21.454
Where's my notes?

01:22:21.534 --> 01:22:22.615
Oh, no, I've thrown them away.

01:22:22.655 --> 01:22:23.195
What an idiot.

01:22:23.275 --> 01:22:24.396
Where's your tortoise notes?

01:22:24.436 --> 01:22:25.697
Tortoise are Canadian, aren't they?

01:22:25.777 --> 01:22:26.358
No, Chicago.

01:22:26.378 --> 01:22:27.679
They're from Chicago.

01:22:27.719 --> 01:22:28.980
Yeah, they start... What are their names?

01:22:29.620 --> 01:22:32.623
Well, I know one of them is... Oh, no, it's all gone out.

01:22:32.703 --> 01:22:35.225
I had it all in my notes, but I put them in the recycling box.

01:22:35.285 --> 01:22:35.766
What an idiot.

01:22:35.806 --> 01:22:36.606
Jim McIntyre.

01:22:36.746 --> 01:22:41.130
Right, they started out... They wanted to be a freelance rhythm section in the style of Sly and Robbie.

01:22:41.150 --> 01:22:41.711
Did you know that?

01:22:41.791 --> 01:22:41.931
No.

01:22:42.091 --> 01:22:45.193
When they first formed, they decided they'd just be a rhythm section for hire.

01:22:46.054 --> 01:22:49.355
Ah, but in the end they became quite a crazy kind of avant-garde.

01:22:49.756 --> 01:22:51.056
What would you call their sort of music?

01:22:51.096 --> 01:22:52.837
It's very funky, but also very rocky.

01:22:52.857 --> 01:22:59.439
Some people call it post-rock, but it's not really like that because that sort of implies a certain lugubriousness that tortoise don't have.

01:22:59.740 --> 01:23:00.040
Yeah.

01:23:00.120 --> 01:23:01.980
Hey, do you ever listen there off shoot the sea in cake?

01:23:02.321 --> 01:23:03.241
I love the sea in cake.

01:23:03.301 --> 01:23:03.521
I love it.

01:23:03.841 --> 01:23:05.923
What's that one called Kissing the... Kissing the... What's that?

01:23:05.943 --> 01:23:07.124
You put it on a compilation from me once.

01:23:07.144 --> 01:23:07.684
Jacking the ball.

01:23:07.744 --> 01:23:08.905
Jacking the ball, that's right.

01:23:09.225 --> 01:23:10.226
But here's some tortoise.

01:23:10.266 --> 01:23:11.828
This is from their album, Standards.

01:23:12.628 --> 01:23:13.729
This is called Six Pack.

01:23:13.949 --> 01:23:14.690
That is good in it.

01:23:14.910 --> 01:23:15.831
Yeah, that is tortoise.

01:23:15.911 --> 01:23:18.473
I've dug my piece of paper out of the recycling bucket.

01:23:19.453 --> 01:23:21.095
And I've had some notes on tortoise.

01:23:21.615 --> 01:23:22.356
Where have they gone?

01:23:22.396 --> 01:23:22.656
Yes.

01:23:23.276 --> 01:23:24.217
From the album, Standards.

01:23:24.257 --> 01:23:25.138
Formed in Chicago in 1990.

01:23:25.859 --> 01:23:27.380
Standards was released in 2001.

01:23:27.840 --> 01:23:29.902
Founder members Doug McCombs and John Hendon.

01:23:30.442 --> 01:23:47.601
mm-hmm originally intended to be a Sly and Robbie style freelance rhythm section and I got that off Wikipedia which is a site you might know it's an encyclopedia site you want to sound clever you just you just look at it and write copy it down then read it out unless they're weasel words unless they're lies in which case you shouldn't quote them

01:23:48.181 --> 01:23:52.024
Here's a quick message from Martin in Derby to his wife.

01:23:52.804 --> 01:23:54.385
Hi fellas, enjoy the show immensely.

01:23:54.425 --> 01:24:00.729
Could you let my wife, Mayor, know that I'm just having five minutes on the computer while the kitchen floor dries, then I'll carry on cleaning.

01:24:00.749 --> 01:24:03.771
She's listening in the lounge and I can't get to her because of the wet floor.

01:24:04.592 --> 01:24:07.454
So there you go, Maya, or Mayor, that's for you.

01:24:08.175 --> 01:24:09.737
And do you have another message there?

01:24:10.017 --> 01:24:16.043
Well, we've had some very good song wars suggestions, and we think we might have decided on a theme for next week's song wars.

01:24:16.423 --> 01:24:17.064
Where is that text?

01:24:17.104 --> 01:24:20.507
Yes, it's from a gentleman called Jason, who's obviously excited by...

01:24:21.668 --> 01:24:43.939
uh by by what by the stories oh yeah by your uh non-explicit sex advice right that we were talking about earlier wash all over yeah and also the conjunction of that and uh and the surge gamesborough song he says please do an almost sexually explicit porn music style song for song wars so we're gonna yes we will jason that's what we're gonna do next week we're gonna do clean erotic songs

01:24:44.039 --> 01:24:45.880
Yeah, so it doesn't have to be like porno music.

01:24:45.900 --> 01:24:47.261
No, erotic songs for all the family.

01:24:47.341 --> 01:24:49.802
Exactly, erotic, like a Prince-style thing, right?

01:24:49.822 --> 01:24:51.703
Like a filthy Prince-style thing that we can play.

01:24:51.723 --> 01:24:52.523
Is that appropriate?

01:24:52.543 --> 01:24:52.643
Yeah.

01:24:52.683 --> 01:24:57.365
Yeah, but we promise you there will not be a single, you know, rude word.

01:24:57.705 --> 01:24:59.366
Well, it's gonna be innuendo heavy though, isn't it?

01:24:59.686 --> 01:25:00.187
Possibly.

01:25:00.327 --> 01:25:00.607
Yeah.

01:25:00.867 --> 01:25:01.847
Saturday morning filth.

01:25:02.328 --> 01:25:04.369
I'm hearing yours already in my head.

01:25:05.169 --> 01:25:11.492
Various references to sponges and bongella and just random things that suddenly sound very rude.

01:25:11.832 --> 01:25:12.753
I'm gonna do it fast.

01:25:12.773 --> 01:25:13.874
Thank you.

01:25:14.274 --> 01:25:15.755
Sponges and bongella.

01:25:15.795 --> 01:25:16.155
Yeah.

01:25:16.296 --> 01:25:17.396
See, that's already sexy.

01:25:17.416 --> 01:25:19.058
Your brain is like a sewer anyway.

01:25:19.078 --> 01:25:25.723
If you can twist the phrase taking care of my bag into something revolting, then that's your problem.

01:25:25.763 --> 01:25:27.424
Anyway, that's pretty much it.

01:25:27.464 --> 01:25:32.408
Don't forget to download the podcast and for goodness sake, subscribe, you know, just for the sake of our own self-respect.

01:25:32.748 --> 01:25:39.894
Don't forget you can email us during the week at AdamandJoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk if you're listening to this, fire listen again.

01:25:40.194 --> 01:25:43.422
Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw right now and thank you very much.

01:25:43.462 --> 01:25:43.984
Have a good week.

01:25:44.024 --> 01:25:44.565
Thanks for listening.

01:25:44.585 --> 01:25:45.989
We'll be with you again next Saturday.