the big British castle.
It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio.
There'll be some music and some random talking in between, and then the pitch
That's the Foo Fighters with times like these.
Hello, this is Adam.
Hey, this is Joe.
Happy morning.
Thanks very much, man.
That's all right.
Really appreciate that.
That's a nice morning as well.
It's lovely.
And we've had an email from David in Salford saying, uh, morning.
Hope you're well.
Unfortunately, it's not all good here.
Oh, dear.
He's mismanaged his Saturday morning already.
It's not even nine o'clock.
His plan was to wake up, have a cup of tea, an English muffin, go into the shower, and be ready for the start of the show.
He tripped, fell down the stairs, and he's dead.
He's died.
I don't think it's that bad.
Oh, good.
If things have gone wrong, can you kindly ensure that the start of your show is a bit rubbish, therefore negating my need for a Ross shower?
That's alright, we can do that, can't we?
Yeah, you know what?
I think we should go for the whole show.
You reckon?
Yeah.
That's bold.
Can we do that?
Well, we've never done that before.
We've never set an achievement target quite so high.
In what kind of way, how would we be rubbish?
Just specific areas.
We would falter.
We're going to falter.
I'm going to say, uh, and you know, more than I've ever said before.
And usually I say, uh, 200 times a show and you know about 20 times a link.
All right.
Well, I'm going to say, all right.
Yeah, exactly.
And
And we're gonna get the names of songs mixed up with the artist.
Okay.
We're gonna call the song the name of the artist.
You're gonna do that too.
I usually do that as my job.
Well, I think we should both do it.
Oh, you wanna do it?
And then we should, a couple of links, we should just have nothing to say.
Okay.
And just talk.
No, that's normal.
That is normal.
That is more or less normal.
Also facts, we should get a lot of facts wrong.
Make lots of mistakes.
Make loads of mistakes.
Like I was listening on my way into Radio 2.
Who is it on Radio 2 in the morning who does the 60s music show?
You know, it's the guy.
Maybe it's Ken Bruce Anyway, he was talking about so, you know, we started as we need to go on He was talking about a guy who'd sung some song that he was playing and he said sorry I don't have more facts for you about the artists and I thought that's a disgrace Ken Bruce or whoever you are How come you know, this is the BBC?
Could you not have got a research and just to find out a few facts about the song?
Was that so hard?
And then you realized... Then you realized that I was, um... Yeah, like... Like, we never have any facts about anything.
For instance... None facts.
Uh, here's the Wombart with back... Or is it... Here's Backfire at the Disco with the Wombats.
That was the Wombats with Backfire at the Disco.
This is Adam and Joel on BBC6 Music.
I've got some facts about the next record.
Have you?
We were just discussing that we never have any facts.
And we often lack competence when it comes to presenting radio.
So we're going to try and make up for that.
Yeah.
Is that what we were going to try and do?
I thought we were going to go the other way.
Yeah, I thought we were going to dig ourselves in deeper.
See, I can't even do that properly.
You're a disgrace.
I can't even be bad properly because the next record is by Sufjan Stevens.
Is that how you say his name?
Sufjan?
Sufjan.
Um, and he has a thing called the 50 states project.
Do you know about that?
He's, is he not, is he still, is it ongoing?
Is he giving up?
He's giving it up.
But you know?
Yeah, he's gonna write an album about every single state in the US of A. I said you know.
That's alright man.
If it wasn't for you know, the whole big British castle would crumble.
How many albums has he done?
About five or six of varying different forms.
Yeah.
And he's only managed to do two states.
Right.
Yeah, he's done Michigan.
And then he's done Illinois.
Strange states to start with.
But the Illinois album is amazingly good.
Have you got that one?
I've got it tucked away, so it's one of those ones I went out and bought because I felt I ought to and never properly applied myself.
It's amazingly good.
And here's a song from it.
They've all got amazing titles, the songs of the albums.
This has got a particularly good one.
It's called Decatur.
Are you saying Decatur in a funny voice?
Decatur.
Do you think I don't know that?
Oh, sorry.
Do you think that wasn't a joke?
right it's called what you just said and comma or round of applause for your stepmother yeah yeah here it is so for one very well done very well done there's the round of applause for the stepmother of Decatur why is Decatur then is it a place in America whereabouts
in Illinois.
It's all connecting up somehow.
He's all thought it through.
What's it like just to go through your life thinking things through?
Uh, it must be tiring.
That was, uh, Sufjan Stevens, uh, that was a free play and I do recommend that album.
It's, it's a bit of a, it's been around for a few years, but you should go and get it and you should go and get it out of under your dusty box.
Out of my locker.
Out of your dusty locker.
Dirty, dirty locker.
Speaking of dirty song wars this week has an erotic theme.
Now this is dangerous territory for a family morning show to go into.
Not really for me.
Really?
What's that supposed to mean?
I just went into a totally pathetic area.
A really silly innuendo laden.
I think that sounds good because my song is frankly more alarming than sexy.
You think it's quite frightening.
You applied yourself to the whole sexy remit, did you?
I went into a medical direction, a sort of sexy doctor kind of direction.
What, gynecological?
No, no.
Yes, that means, isn't it?
No.
No, it's very, it's very clean, but, you know, quite just slightly menacing.
Right.
That's not something you want to, it's not a feeling you want in the bedroom area.
Not really.
Unless you're into that kind of thing.
Which I'm not.
It's terrible business.
So that's coming up later.
Something to look forward to.
That's after the news that's coming up.
And of course we have Text the Nation in the show.
Well look, we're still trailing what's coming up and we're back 20 minutes in.
Do you think we can make the trailing what's coming up last, say, for 55 minutes?
Probably.
Then do five minutes of actual programme.
You know, I like it.
Then do the last half hour just looking back at that five minutes.
Easily.
That's the way that all TV's constructed these days.
It's true, isn't it?
a 15-minute recap, five minutes of actual fibre, and then 20 minutes of what's coming up next week.
I like it when you're watching a show like Lost or whatever, and you've been watching it for about 15 minutes, you're still getting opening credits, you know?
There's already been one or two commercial breaks, and you're still into the opening credit set.
That was one of the jokes in our film we were going to make that we're never going to make, that in the middle of the film, the credits would just start again.
It's good, I like it, because it makes you feel as if like, this is brilliant!
I'm having so much fun, and it's only just started!
Gives it momentum.
Yeah, and then it ends.
Uh, like our show.
Anyway, more music now.
Uh, it's trail time.
What am I talking about?
And it just says, Trail Homes.
Oh, this is for John Holmes.
This is the music of trails.
That's, uh, De La Soul.
I said that, uh, in a, in a sort of unpleasant way.
I didn't mean to.
Dale a soul, of the soul, no medallions, no gold, hanging out with paths, hanging out with me, birdie, birdie, birdie all up in your face.
I think that's a bit rude.
That last lyric, is it?
Yeah, but that's the theme of this morning's song.
You're really rude, I never realised that.
Yeah, well, what's Buddy?
Oh, now you're talking.
I've got a whole different complexion on it.
Oh dear.
This is Adam and Joel on BBC Six Music.
Now I went for a date with a girl this week, Adam.
Well you've got one already.
Yeah, but I've got another one now.
I can't remember her name, but we went, she wanted to go to the boardwalk and go bowling.
Did she?
So we went to the, well we went to the board, she wanted to go on the ferris wheel, but it was late at night and the boardwalk was closed.
So we went to the beach.
And we swam in the sea, I just jumped in fully clothed with my hat and sunglasses on.
She followed!
Didn't say anything, just jumped in, swam around with me.
Then we got out of the sea, we went to the bowling alley and uh...
did some bowling, I bowled two or three balls but then I got really bored and I thought this is boring and so I jumped over the concession stand counter to where they make the hot dogs and just started running around and pushing things and I jumped out again and she followed, she kept following me, she didn't say anything, she was chatting about us all the time she didn't seem to notice what I was doing, she just carried on chatting then we came out of the bowling alley and we jumped into a miniature golf course and
I jumped in this pond, this pool, right up to my waist, fully clothed again.
She jumped in as well, and we just stood there in silence, staring at each other.
And then I drove her home and I ran down several pedestrians.
I think I hurt them really badly on the way back.
And when I parked at her house, I just parked diagonally right across her lawn and smashed the front of my car into her house.
She didn't seem to notice, and she got out of the car and said that she'd love to see me again.
that's good good yeah i'm of course talking about the new video game grand theft auto 4 i didn't realize that yeah brilliant brilliant what is the other man i was thinking it's a commercial that he's seen but i was thinking what commercial is this that he just
It's video games.
All the kids are into them.
And this is obviously a big pop cultural event.
Grand Theft Auto 4.
It's gonna make more money than any film does in its opening weekend.
And they've mapped out every square inch of New York.
You can go into any door you want.
New York is working very hard to distance itself from the world of Grand Theft Auto.
It's a place called Liberty City.
liberties that's modelled vaguely on New York but it's nothing to do with the real New York because of course New York is one of the safest places in the world, safer than London.
The taxis are a spherical, they have for the word taxi spelled out balloons in New York.
Yeah, do they?
We established that last week.
Do you not remember that?
It's another video game.
This is last week.
It's so confusing.
What?
I've completely thrown me off my tracks now.
I've thrown you off your tracks after your nonsensical Rambo.
Anyway, I haven't played much of Grand Theft Auto 4.
My nonsensical Rambo will make a lot of sense to everyone who's played the game.
Which will be lots of frustrated young men who are sitting in their front rooms enjoying killing people and behaving in a naughty way in a virtual environment.
But it strikes me, I don't know whether anyone agrees who's been playing the game agrees.
That was an interesting point you made before as well.
But the police are much less officious in the new Grand Theft Auto 4.
You can get away with almost anything, can you?
Yeah, you used to, if you ran down a pedestrian just because, you know, you were bored, they used to come after you.
Now they don't bother.
It's anarchy.
It's reflecting the actual attitude of the police in the world.
Who's the mayor of, what's it called, the place?
Boris Johnson.
Is it?
He is the mayor of Liberty City.
He's just been elected.
And he's made massive cuts, and now the police don't care about anything.
When was Boris elected mayor of Liberty City?
It's not my opinion or the opinion of the big British castle.
It's just a sort of a joke.
It's not even a joke.
It's just a stupid string of words.
Anyway, it's exciting.
I've been enjoying Grand Theft Auto for the graphics are massively improved, even though there's rather a lot of anti-aliasing.
Oh dear, I hate that music.
It's my worst thing.
Now listen, we've got to play some music before we go to the news.
This is Bon Iver.
He's hot.
He's so hot right now in the world.
I haven't heard a single note that he's ever sang, so I'm excited to hear this.
This is Skinny Love.
That was Bon Iver with Skinny Love.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music.
It's time for the news with Catherine Cracknell.
That's Morris here.
And his song, which is called You're Going to Miss Me When I'm Gone.
No, I was just guessing and I got it wrong.
Do you know a Morrissey song called, uh, Let the Right One Slip In?
No, it sounds dirty.
It does sound dirty, doesn't it?
What was that one called, though?
All You Need Is Me.
Well, does he, is that in the refrain?
Is that part of the chorus?
Does he say, All You Need Is Me?
I don't think he does, which I think's a little irresponsible.
I don't like it when the obvious thing to call a song is just totally ignored in favour of a more obscure title.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, they should call the song by the thing that gets sung the most.
Exactly.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
I saw a film based on that Morrissey song that nicks that Morrissey song, Let the Right One Slip In.
It's very good.
It's a Swedish film about vampires.
And it's based on our song.
They knit the title.
It's really good though.
I'm not going to go into it, but I just want to put the title into people's heads so when it comes out they know to go and see it.
They'll say, ooh!
Ooh, this makes me feel good in my... pants!
And I can't remember why!
But talking of feeling good in your pants, and also dirty song titles, uh, it's time for...
Yes, check it out indeed.
So yes, this week... Who's the guy that suggested this?
Jason, he texted us last week with your following text.
Please do an almost sexually explicit porn music style song for Song Wars.
Now, it's the last time I'm going to say a couple of those words because obviously that's too strong for this program.
So we're going to do... we've done sort of er... erotic.
Song yeah, it's like a family bit of family erotica things that well hang on there a second Now this is not a good phrases ads can't bad of words.
Yeah family-friendly erotica
yeah that's still not that good though it's not good but um titillating should we say mine's not titillating it's just frightening the idea that anyone would be titillated by these songs well you haven't heard mine yet um anyway this is almost definitely gonna be a disaster are we gonna flip a coin uh sure we'll flip a coin
Well, you reckon rock, paper, scissors?
That's not very visual, is it?
Who's got a coin?
Let's flip the picnic bar.
That's got two sides.
You can't flip a picnic bar.
Look at that.
Oh, what are you going to call nuts or backing?
Here we go.
I've got a coin.
I'm quite tired today.
Is that coming across?
I'm going for heads.
You're calling heads to go first?
I'm calling heads to go first, whatever.
It's heads.
I'm going first.
Right, this song is a kind of sexy medical type song.
I know the two of those things sometimes go together, don't they?
Not really, unless you're expecting a lawsuit.
People sometimes find Dr. Sexy.
Come on.
There will be a lawsuit after this song.
You've got to imagine a very erotic doctor's surgery.
Yeah.
You've got to imagine Nurse Totties, who's played by you in a sexy wig, and Dr. Sexy, who is me.
Right.
And this is what happens when you visit Dr. Sexy.
Doctor's ready to see you if you'd like to go through.
My name is Doctor Sexy.
I've got just what you need.
But I ain't got no medical degree.
Know what I mean?
A diet knows that you have sexy disease.
The symptoms include hotness and the wearing of tight jeans.
Would you pop this in your mouth?
Don't worry, it's clean.
It's just the monitor.
Oh my god, no, she's hotter than anyone I've ever seen.
As tortoise, is your diagnosis the same as mine?
Yes, Doctor Sexy, it's outrageous And I think she's so hot, it's contagious I can't fake it, I can't take it And I'm feeling the urge to get naked What kind of talk's inappropriate, as tortoise?
What kind of doctor surgeon do you think this is?
Sexy, Sexy Doctor, Doctor Sexy Oh yes, I really forgot My name is Doctor Sexy
But I'm not NHS This is a private practice Now pop off your vest Can I try an experimental technique I learned in Japan?
They call me Dr. Sexy, and I sterilize my tools Let's break some British Medical Association rules Dr. Sexy, you'll be struck up for that Sounds good
perfectly clean that's good man I'm gonna go that's that's gonna win those you think yeah I don't know I don't know really you fulfill the remit scary it's not scary it's sexy is it yeah I got titillated we have a lady from an Australian radio station in here this morning she you look frightened
And she's behind a piece of glass and she's making the small gesture with her finger and thumb.
I don't know what that means.
That's a disparaging gesture towards Dr. Sexy.
It is, isn't it?
She's straight in there.
Making disparaging comments about Dr. Sexy's manhood.
I don't think... I want to go and see Dr. Sexy.
He was saying, you're Nurse Totties, you can't see Dr. Sexy.
I can see him any time I like.
I want to make a video for that.
Yeah, that would be... Because I want to see you dressed as Nurse Totties.
That would be good.
Anyway, wearing tight jeans though, that can often be a problem, a genuine problem for some women.
Yeah, well, Dr. Sexy identifies that.
Yeah.
And he demands they come off.
That's good, man.
So it's based on medical facts.
Yeah, there was lots of research went into that good good and you found that you found the the funk button as well Well, I used a sample from David Matthews right track called sandworm.
That's good now You see it's exactly the kind of vibe.
I was trying to go for didn't quite manage it
I bet you did.
So, no, I went for a sort of, mine is a kind of insane reworking, it's sort of a follow-up to Computer Love by Kraftwerk and of course they're thereafter filched by Coldplay.
What is by cold-edged?
You mean... Not the other one.
Pinched.
Yeah, uh, yeah.
Pinched is another word for that.
Is it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking.
Stop thinking that.
Um, and, uh... But no, musically, it doesn't sound like computer love at all, but it's about dirty robots.
Yeah, here it is.
Hi, my dirty robots.
Please, what you keep me high.
Don't lie.
I wonder if you'd be so kind as to remove it.
I would like to take up to your goals with my character.
There won't be viruses with my character.
We're dirty robots.
We've come from the past in search of models with slots.
Our discs are all floppy.
It makes us quite stroppy.
We've got the hots, now it's all wireless There's the connection
I think that Sapnap likes me, she's seen my modem hanging out, that's right babe, it's enormous and it does the job, well just about.
Here, let's get connected.
There we go, now you can send me dirty pictures, very very slow.
Now where's your lovely hard drive box, have you got a slot for me?
Hey, what's the problem?
Why'd you kick me in the USB?
We're dirty robots, we're dirty robots We wish to connect without the machines with slots We're not that picky, but we're finding it tricky Cause no one seems to want to and we thought they'd be lots So we're sticking our cables wherever we're able Which sometimes can result in some extremely nasty shocks Dirty robots
We're built in metal geezers To us a parking meter is a bit of a fox If it's got machine parts Then that's where the fun starts And if it is electric then of course that also rocks Dirty robots
Dirty robots, dirty robots
Yeah, there you go.
That's quite a long one as well, so... It's good, that's really good.
I like particularly... Can I say what I like?
Go on then.
I like the very early keyboard solo.
I like it when a record just dispenses with lyrics.
Yeah.
After a few seconds, it just gets into the keyboard solo.
But then of course the lyrics to Come Back with Great Import.
Yes, that's true.
It's like a kind of first year play, isn't it?
Like innuendos... Well, there'd be... I think Parents would be called to meetings if that was a first year play.
School psychologists would be watching.
I didn't make any jokes about faxing at least.
No.
There you go.
That's something.
Well done.
So there we go.
That song was for this week.
What are those songs called?
I suppose mine's called Dr. Sexy.
Mine's called Dirty Robots.
There we go.
So it's Dr. Sexy versus Dirty Robots.
64046 is not what you should dial to send texts because you can't vote by text.
You have to vote by via email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk Send your votes in voting for either Dr. Sexy or Dirty Robots.
What an amazing head-to-head.
OK, here's some proper music.
This is New Order with regret.
That's like one of the all-time great songs really, isn't it?
I mean, you've got everything there.
Yes.
Sorry, I've got a mouthful of Joe's buns.
I've got a mucky brain now after our head-to-head.
No surprises there.
Dirty head-to-head.
But you know what I mean?
That New Order song is so good, isn't it?
That was Regret, of course, by New Order.
And this is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music, Saturday morning.
I'm Boris Johnson's in control of London Town.
And it's a lovely sunny day.
Boris is gonna sort it all out.
He's gonna get the crime sorted.
We're not allowed to express any political opinions, of course, here on the Big British Castle.
We're completely impartial.
Therefore, all we can say is that he's brilliant and awful.
He's brilliantly awful.
At the same time, he's great in the disaster.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
No emphasis on either one of those words.
Complete impartiality.
That's brilliant, man.
He's awful.
I just had to counterpoint.
You're brilliant.
Oh, I see.
No, I was saying that you were brilliant.
Oh, thanks a lot.
So now we're allowed to say that.
But now you've dug yourself into a hole because there's still a lingering he's awful there hanging in the air, which you've got to balance.
Do I?
Yeah.
Say it, go on, balance it.
He's brilliant.
There you go.
There we go.
He's awful.
He's gonna be here forever.
He's brilliant.
What have you got there?
A piece of paper.
Are you holding a piece of paper like you're about to read the news?
Am I about to read the news?
No, you're not.
Okay, let's have a bit more music while we decide what we're gonna talk about.
It's a trail.
It's in a proper way.
There you go.
That was a session track from Primal Scream, Velocity Curl.
That was from Janice Long's show way back in 1986.
Yeah, she actually played that one.
Did she?
Yeah, Janice Long.
It's a cover by Janice Long.
Is it?
Of that Primal Scream song.
Yeah.
Is Janice Long in Primal Scream?
Yeah.
I didn't realise that.
She's the lead singer.
There you go.
She's the lead singer.
And I thought it was Bobby Gillespie.
No.
It's not.
It's Janice Long.
What other bands is Janice Long in?
The Beatles.
Is she?
Yes.
She's the best one in the Beatles.
She is.
Did she write the songs?
Yes.
Did she split them up?
Yes.
Because she was going out with John Lennon.
Okay, that's good.
Well, I'm glad we got that all settled.
Janice Long facts there.
And now it's time for the first of my free plays.
All my free plays this week have a slightly psychedelic bent.
If you don't mind me saying so.
I wouldn't say they're like full fully blown psychedelic songs, but they have a little air of
Triposity and weirdosiousness.
And this is from an album that's so big right now.
Have you got the MGMT album, Joe?
Yeah.
Are you enjoying that one?
My girlfriend bought it.
I haven't played it or listened to it at all.
It's really good.
Is it good?
Yeah, it is good.
You know what?
I feel that everyone else is doing it for me.
Right, right.
You're missing out.
Everyone else is taking care of it.
I know what you mean.
I know exactly that feeling you're describing, but you are missing out.
It is proper Whitwoks.
And there's a huge pile of invention going on in there.
Amazing stuff.
and it's sort of out of its time, do you know what I mean?
Like, it's an album, I'm sure, that won't date that much because it's so strange.
And this is a lovely track in here.
It's a sort of mini opera.
It's got sections.
I love songs with sections, you know?
And this is called The Handshake by MGMT.
And the second section after the opening little bit is this lovely little weird thing from the 60s psychedelic period in my brain.
Hope you enjoy it.
This is MGMT.
Oh, it starts off... it starts off quite...
Soft.
There we go.
We're into it now.
That's Franz Ferdinand.
They're so hot right now, and that's called Shoutout.
No, it's not.
Do you want to?
It's called...
Uh, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music.
Now we were talking about video games earlier on, and, uh, my, uh, children, my young sons, have just entered the crazy world of video games.
What have they got?
What console have they got?
Well, I'm easing them in there a little bit.
They've been playing with my brother's Wii.
Right.
Uh, and which- Yeah, but what- No.
Carry on.
Okay, which is a nice way of starting I think because you know you can assuage any guilt you have about sucking your Children into the dirty world of video games by seeing them actually standing up and being physical while playing You know that's one of the attractive things about the Wii and they really do they get up there, and they're like totally into it What are they playing?
They're doing a bit of boxing there, and they just hand you their Wii sports
Wii Sports, yeah, and a bit of boxing, a bit of bowling, and the game of golf.
The disc that comes free with it as well.
There's a sort of tank command thing where you're going around shooting tanks.
It's a lot like combat on the Atari video system.
You remember combat?
Yeah.
And it's brilliant.
It's good fun, man.
Anyway, so unfortunately my brother took the Wii back the other day.
You know, he needs to play it.
And I'm rationing the video game fun to weekends, right?
Just so it doesn't splurge everywhere.
Weekends?
Yeah, right.
That's a good idea, mate.
I should re-christen them.
Yeah.
So I got my old PlayStation One out of the locker.
Because other consoles are available.
Of course they are.
Um, and I haven't played with it for years and years.
And it's pretty good, man.
There's lots of good stuff on there.
There's a good bombing game called Raiden where you're flying over, um, I don't know, a place and bombing it and shooting it over planes.
It's fun to bomb things as long as it's not real.
Okay.
Tony Blair, you didn't realize that.
Um, and, uh, say something to balance that.
Yeah, Tony Blair, well done for bombing everywhere.
Thumbs up.
Thumbs away.
There we go.
But I was struck by the fact that they're getting so into it, these guys, and they're about four and five, my son, so they've already worked out their little chants, their bravura video game expressions, you know what I mean?
When they're in there and they're so into it, they have to shout out things, you know?
And they're really good.
But they're sort of exactly right in tone, but they're obviously they're just like five-year-old versions of things.
Let's have them.
Well, the top three I've got are... You're going down, Pom Pom!
Pom Pom!
Is that one of their nicknames?
I don't know, that's what they call them.
It's a little bit like Pooh Head, which my youngest Nattie calls people at the moment.
I is insulting.
He's going through a stage of calling everyone Pooh Head, which it does happen.
So I've told him that it's... Well, hang on, what do you mean it does happen?
Uh, children go through a phase where they could bring a pooey head.
What, having a pooey head?
Pooe head.
Yeah.
Oh, right, okay.
Um, you know, it's a nice, it's, you'll look back on it with affection one day when they, when they learn all the hardcore words.
Yeah, you should clean that off their heads, though.
Yeah.
It's unhygienic.
No, no, I mean, I, I generally ban pooing on heads from the house.
But yeah, so instead of saying poo head, he says, you're going down, pom-pom.
And, but he says it like that with all the expression.
Yeah, that's good, that's good, I like it.
Uh, he also says, um, he also says, get ready to do poo!
What does that mean?
He's threatening there.
He's threatening the enemy in the video game.
Wow.
You better get ready to do a poo!
Because I'm coming to get you!
Well, that sounds like it needs a little bit of therapy.
Well, no, but when they're that age they're obsessed with it.
It's all, everything's about poo and wee and all that kind of stuff.
Actually, not wee, not so much.
It's always the poo.
Um, but then, he's very Freudian, but then Frank, who's slightly older, um, is a little more sophisticated.
Some of his, uh, bravura chants are, uh, more psychological.
He sort of says, oh, would you like to come to a party?
To the enemy, you see, because he's luring them in.
Nice.
And then he's gonna bomb them when they're at the party.
But he sort of says it with chilling, you know, oh, and he's really excited, he's like quivering with excitement while he's playing.
Oh, would you like to come to a party?
Yes!
There you go, pom pom!
Take that poo head!
Wow.
It's good.
What kind of things do you shout out when you're doing Grand Theft Auto?
It's the same.
Take that pom pom!
I'm going to do a poo poo on your head, pom pom.
You shouldn't have stabbed me, pom pom!
Come to my party, pom pom.
It's a poo poo party, pom pom!
How about that one?
That's good, man.
I'd like to come around to your house and... That's exciting.
Are they gonna be buying the Wii Fit pad to do?
Are you gonna do that?
I've been thinking of doing that.
Have you?
That you can buy this pad, you plug it in, you do exercises.
You know that there are parks and things that you can actually... I know, but do a ton of telly.
It's fun.
I might, I might.
It is fun, man.
It's all good stuff, that.
Okay, more music now.
Here's the Shoutout Louds.
Is this real?
Have you just made this up?
No one's told me about the shout-out loud.
Suddenly they exist.
This is tonight, I have to leave it.
Yeah, could I have some extra drums, please?
And a cowbell topping.
Certainly.
Would you like, um, grooves with that?
What's that?
Grooves?
Would you like grooves?
I'd like some grooves.
Could I have the... We don't have any.
Could I have the Deacon Blue style vocals and the CURE keyboard on the side?
Yes.
Would you like a little bit of Robert Smith all over that?
Yes, please.
Certainly.
There you go.
Very good, though.
There's extra Robert Smith for you.
Shout out, Louds, with tonight.
I have to leave it.
Now, I just want to say, we were just talking about video games with my young sons.
It just occurred to me, Frank especially hates it when people sort of talk about the fact that he said something funny.
So if by any chance anyone is listening to this who knows, uh, my children or anything, please don't mention it to them that we were talking about it, okay?
And it's a slim chance, but if it gets back to him, I'm in real trouble.
He'll really, he would hate it.
He would hate it.
Wow.
The, um, the kind of power balance is slightly off.
It's a little bit off, but there's nothing you can do about it.
He doesn't like the idea of people laughing at him or, uh, you know?
Uh, anyway.
They're very young and fragile things.
Exactly.
What?
Children.
Oh, I thought you meant chickens.
Yeah, I did mean chickens.
Okay.
What?
I don't know.
I'm tired.
Very odd.
Um, there we go.
So, now it's time for a free play.
Uh, no, isn't it?
No, we're gonna do Text-A-Nation now.
Quick, the jingle!
Text-A-Nation.
Text, text, text.
Text-A-Nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text-A-Nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text!
That previous moment of confusion was part of our plan to do a really shoddy show.
It was all stage managed and scripted.
It went off well, didn't it?
That was really good.
I was trying to think of something that was very young and fragile.
Chickens was the only thing I could think of.
Yeah, they're not.
They can be of all sorts of ages.
Exactly.
I mean, chicks would be the young thing.
It's Text the Nation time, and this week's Text the Nation is themed around the BBC's smash hit programme, The Apprentice.
Well, it's kind of stolen.
uh from stolen from it yeah yeah um adam and i are both big fans of of the apprentice we watch it a lot uh and it was very good this week yeah it was brilliant the kind of matt lucas look alike yeah got got kicked out he was exactly like he's like the only gay in the village wasn't he
Yes, in a suit.
Yes.
It was amazing.
But it seemed like a very nice chap, even though what confuses me is, you know, when they're being particularly hopeless, they'll cut to an interview they've done of each contestant that they've obviously done before the series starts, where the contestant is being so insanely self-aggrandising that it throws anything else they're doing in the show into complete comedy.
Exactly.
And Kevin's was amazing.
He was saying, by the time I am 40, I'm going to be the most powerful businessman in the world and have a house the size of Jamaica and live in a balloon or something.
I don't know.
And Rafe says, I have a way with words that is better than Wordsworth and Shakespeare.
Words are like my tools.
When I put them together, I can sell you anything right there, right now.
That kind of... He said it with a little more conviction.
The problem with Kevin was you could see he didn't.
He wasn't really that insanely deluded.
I mean, a little bit, but... But presumably, a researcher says to them, uh, okay, we'd just like you to chat about your ambitions, and imagine you're talking, uh, in a world of fantasy, of insane fantasy.
Just pretend for a moment you're mad, and really overdo it.
Would that be okay?
Yes, okay, then.
What do they say to get them to talk like that?
Anyway, that's not the point of Texanation.
What is the point of Texanation?
The point of Texanation is that one of the things, and if you don't watch The Apprentice, it's Alan Sugar, and he's getting two teams of... Oh, people know this.
Nutty.
I'm just saying that some people don't watch it.
I only recently came to the world of The Apprentice.
He's getting two teams of people to kind of pitch business ideas to real business people, and the person who gets the most business out of it is the winner of that week.
And this... You're fired.
Thank you, there you go.
What's his name?
The man.
And this week, one of the things the teams had to do was to invent a new day for a greeting card, some kind of greeting card.
I'm not explaining this well.
They had to come up with a new national day.
That was really the hardest part of the task, wasn't it?
Then they had to invent a greetings card and go and pitch it to the big three card companies.
But part of the thing that was kind of glossed over and is where they kind of failed was to pick an event that isn't yet celebrated by card giving, right?
So a new national day.
One of them thought of like an environment day, a green day.
Yes.
The other team thought of National Singles Day.
Which I thought was quite a good idea.
They had trouble picking the actual day, didn't they?
Because they went for the 13th of February, the day before Valentine's Day, and all the stores laughed out of the thing because the market's already saturated.
Already saturated.
You know we've got all our shelves filled with Valentine's cards.
Why do we want to confuse it with your weird Singles Day?
So the Texanation Challenge this week is?
Is exactly that.
Think of a new national day.
Uh, it could be, uh, you know, a cause for a holiday, it could be something that you could make a greeting card out of.
Actually, should we do it specifically with the greeting card?
So, like, what you would say in the greeting card for your national day?
This is a good test as well, because one sits at home thinking how easy it would be and how you'd do better than those guys.
Exactly.
But can we do better?
because i thought the single thing was quite good and then i was i was embarrassed when they uh when they were so humiliated in some of the meetings there i thought i didn't think of any of those problems with it however the green the environmental card was uh more mental than environment if there was a is there a celebrity apprentice
Do we qualify as celebrities?
Would we go on it if we were offered to go on it?
Well, the thing that they sometimes get people on is the apprentice you're fired.
Right.
Afterwards, that would be fine.
Now, that's not the question.
If there was a celebrity apprentice, would you go on it?
well yes yes would you yes you would yes you would that's brilliant i really look forward to that so tech 64046 uh with your ideas for a new national day to send greeting cards for let's see if we can either come up with stupider ideas yeah than the apprentice people did or brilliant ones 64046 here's a bit more music this is a free play i vote this for the one of the loveliest songs ever written lyrically
If you listen to the lyrics of the following song and do exactly what he says, I think you'll have very few problems in life.
This is David Bowie with Fill Your Heart.
version of Andy Warhol, which is the next track on that album.
I'm so used to it going into it.
It's weird to have it not go into it.
Exactly.
That's one of those albums that you know.
I don't know.
Maybe I put the iPod generation.
They probably don't know what it's like, but the sequence of that album is definitely very important.
It's like a little journey you go on.
That's one of the best albums ever made, isn't it?
Thanks, yes.
You can say that.
Well done, man.
Thanks a lot.
I think you did a really good job on that one.
Thanks.
Why?
What?
Recently, what's happened?
Recently, I've got into internet sort of stuff, and I'm a bit ill.
Are you?
Yeah.
I'm sorry to hear that.
I had a Russell Hardy.
Did you?
Yeah, you had to, uh, had to go into a hospital.
But, um... Someone threw a lolly in your eye.
Someone tucked a lolly, it got stuck in my eye.
It's been tricky times, tough times.
You'll be back, man.
You'll be back.
You're the best.
I'm working on my latest incarnation.
You're the changing man.
No, that's Paul Weller.
I'm gonna dress up like Shirley Temple.
Well, that's gonna be my new image.
He's constantly reinventing himself.
Have you seen his new image?
He's like the old Madonna.
He's like Shirley Temple now.
He's always reinventing himself.
He's like a very old man, and he's dressed as Shirley Temple.
He's the rock and roll chameleon.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
We're going to clarify Text the Nation, because we feel it was a little bit muddled.
Here, from Adam Buxton, is a very simple encapsulation of what Text the Nation is this week.
Yes, we want it.
It's the cards, OK?
It's the cards more than the day.
That we want from you we want we want you to plug the gaps in the greeting cards market And we want you to tell us what the thrust of your greeting cards would be so it's exactly like what they were doing on the apprentice and So for example my idea be clearer.
Yes, it is clear.
It's clear.
It's the greeting outside Yeah, well, I'm gonna give you an example now for example a card for someone who has just failed at something, right?
Okay
Do they exist already?
Sorry, not exactly sorry, you're a failure, but... Bad luck!
Yeah, exclamation mark on the outside.
I mean, there are bad luck cards already, I think.
And on the inside it would have a poem.
Uh, do not worry that you have failed.
It's important to try again.
Maybe you'll succeed next time and you won't look like such a pen.
And then the last two letters.
Or something like that.
Obviously that was just made up off the top of my head and you'll have a bit more time.
I was thinking just don't let the bastards grind you down, yeah?
Just for a little uplifting.
Come on!
We'll think of some more.
I'm determined to come up with something better.
Or get back on the horse.
Something like that.
Something lame.
I mean, it's a greeting card.
It can be lame, yeah.
Uh, the other, the other idea that our producer Jude had was some kind of, um, conciliatory card for neighbors.
Maybe you've upset the neighbors, and you want to send them a special card to say, sorry about the rubbish dispute, or sorry about the noisy party with the bass frequencies last night, it was a little bit annoying, or something like that, you know?
I'm gonna think of something better.
better than that during the next song while i was watching the apprentice i was thinking i could do better than this it's not that easy it's a better idea out there i'm convinced there is single stays brilliant six four zero five six is the text number i'm actually going to text mine into myself one of the people um read it out one of the guys from tesco's or whatever was saying who's gonna send a card to a single i thought that was a stupid point to make i would send a card to uh singleton friend of mine i thought you know valerie singleton i'd send her one no problem
Here's here's Isaac Hayes with the theme from Shaft the theme from hello.
Can you hear me the theme from Shaft?
That's a new cop film that'll be in the cinemas soon starring Isaac Hayes Also known as chef of course, and this is element Joe here on BBC six music It's time now for the news read by Catherine cracknell and Joe you earth that Santo gold with Les artiste and
Yes, I'm just checking.
I got it the right way around.
I did get it the right way around.
Well done.
Thank you very much.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
You join us in the middle of Text the Nation.
And the challenge this week is to beat the Apprentice contestants at the task that was set in The Apprentice last week, which was to come up with a new...
A national day that would be suitable for sending cards for the texts are already coming tumbling in gaps in the greeting cards market.
I had a couple of ideas.
Yeah, go on then.
I think I've had a brilliant idea.
Have you?
I think I've thrashed the contestants already.
Oh my goodness.
You should celebrate.
My idea is to take an existing day but apply cards to it.
April Fool's Day.
Cards.
But cards with pranks in them.
Oh.
Like little springy snakes.
Right.
Or a stink bomb.
Or a little chip that makes the noise.
When you open it?
Because April Fool's Day is a good day, you know?
It's a matter of national pride and people don't really bother anymore.
Kids play pranks on each other, but adults don't really bother that much.
There's not that much spaghetti and trees anymore, is there?
Well, there's all the tedious media ones, but they're kind of, you know, boring and you can always tell they're...
not real, but cards for that.
That would be good, wouldn't it?
I like the idea of a card that goes nihi.
Another idea that one or two people have alluded to in their texts is a national honesty day.
So a day when you're allowed to say whatever you want without fear of reprisal.
So this would be brilliant.
You could say things to your girlfriend, husband or wife or boyfriend that you've been meaning to say for ages, but you haven't had the courage to say.
That sounds like a national disaster day.
No, it's just a refreshing day, you know.
It's just people get stuff out in the open.
No such thing.
It'll be a great day.
There's no such thing.
And you could have all sorts of cards about how you hate an individual's jumper, how they stink, or a smelly.
Someone sent that one in, you know.
And then the next day, you could have National Reprisals Day.
Exactly.
Tina and East Dulwich, maybe next week, because you need time to market the cards.
The same day the following week, Reprisals Day.
That's a good idea, yeah.
And what they'd be cards with... Simmering resentment cards.
And powders.
Threatening powders.
No, that's the terrorists doing that, isn't it?
It's Revenge Day.
Okay, here's another one that's come in from Viv in Dundee and I'm not sure how practical this is but she certainly put or he has certainly put some thought into it.
Happy marine biologist day inside the card.
Some people say you're fishy, some people say you're wet but a more committed marine biologist I have never met.
Lots of love, Viv from Dundee.
Is he a marine biologist?
One would hope so.
You'd hope he was.
Oh, this is insane.
Amy Crossthwaite suggests pancake day cards.
Yeah?
They could be made of pancake.
Or be in the form of a stencil, so when you sprinkle your icing sugar over the pancake, you get an amusing shake.
That is a very good idea.
That is a good idea.
I like them being made of actual pancake.
That's insane.
It's totally impractical.
What about a sachet of pancake mixture inside?
That's a better idea.
And then you could fry the card.
and eat it.
We made of edible paper.
All these ideas are copyright Adam and Joe at the Big British Castle.
If we do decide to get them.
Edible cards.
Right, right, right paper.
Everyone likes right paper.
Everyone likes eating an object.
Keep the text coming in 64046.
And if you can beat any of those, they're already very good.
We've already beaten the contestants, I reckon.
Now, here's a little.
blast.
Here's a stinky blast from the past.
This is Malcolm McLaren.
That's not a name you hear very much unless you're watching The Baron.
Yeah, which I want to talk about after we hear this one.
This is Double Dutch.
Wow, sounding really good, I reckon.
Malcolm McLaren and the Supreme Dream Team, were they called?
Something along those lines.
Are you taking that one over Buffalo Gals?
I really liked that album.
I liked it when I was a kid.
And did you know that I got a set of felt pens and copied the mural from the Keith Haring mural from the inside of that album all over my bedroom wall?
And then I was so embarrassed about it the next day.
I had to cover it with posters.
At least you didn't go around talking like Malcolm McLaren.
Was he trying to do an American accent there?
I don't know what he was trying to do there.
He's a deeply, deeply confused man.
I mean, he's got his own personal manifesto fairly clearly worked out in his mind, as a kind of pantomime villain.
Have you seen The Baron at all?
No, and before we get into that, I should point out to listeners that that album is a duck rock is coming out in a remastered version.
Is it?
Later this year, and somebody's making a film about how it was made.
No.
Yeah, so there's gonna be a whole big Duck Rock thing happening later in the year, and Malcolm McLaren's gonna be in town talking about it.
It's a long way in the future, not till September he's gonna be at the ICA.
He was a mayoral candidate last time around, wasn't he, McLaren, was he?
I mean, I don't know what kind of platform he was on.
I think he was taking himself quite seriously when he was a mayoral candidate.
But when he was on for Barron, which is a show on ITV, it's a reality show that is airing at the moment,
He was not, in any way, taking it seriously.
If you haven't seen this program, it was sort of ill-fated from the beginning, really.
Mike Reed, from EastEnders, appeared on the show, and of course he died last July.
And that put the whole thing into, you know, they weren't sure if they were going to show the program or not.
And now ITV have said that in a tribute to the late Mike Reed, ITV will air the Baron.
That's what they said.
It's a tribute.
It's not a question of actually just trying to get some...
you know, use out of this show that they've ploughed all this money into.
It's a tribute to Mike Reed, and a fitting one as well.
He would have been so proud of this amazing show.
Basically, what happens is they get three people.
It's Mike Reed, it's Malcolm McLaren, and it's one other person who go off to this remote Highland town called Gardens Town in northeast Scotland.
And they get to know the community and they hang out there a little bit.
This is a community that doesn't have a baron and needs a baron.
Needs a little baron.
Not that anyone has a baron.
What would the baron do?
It's sort of like being the mayor, I think.
And so they have to kind of...
You know, what's the word when you are campaigning?
There you go.
Have to kind of campaign to be the Baron.
And last week, I only tuned in to the show last week.
I caught the last half hour.
That was your first mistake?
Yeah, it was accidental.
I was just about to go to bed and I was suckered in there because I was actually suckered in by the tease that after the break, these shocking scenes with Malcolm McLaren being manhandled off the podium because his campaign speech is going so badly wrong that the locals have had enough.
They're booing him and they want to get rid of him.
And basically there's all these shots of McLaren, kind of, he's totally, he hates it in this village, he thinks it's really boring and he's going like, it's so boring, it's so drab.
Even the fish have gone away from this town, it's pathetic.
What they need is a, and his idea for a special national day.
was to do a sin day.
And you close the church and everyone can just sin all they want and they can get drunk and they can fornicate all they want.
They can do what they want.
It'd be just so much better than what they've got at the moment.
It's so boring and they're always going about God and all this kind of stuff.
Anyway, so he suggests all this to the locals, right?
And first of all, he starts by saying, after Mike Reed has delivered a very moving speech about, oh, it's lovely being here.
You've really taken me in your hearts.
You're wonderful people.
This is a great community.
I'd love to be the Baron.
McLaren turns up and he goes, I just want to say, I think it's so boring here.
And it's the most boring place I've ever been to.
And you're all so pathetic and boring.
And he goes on about,
Well, it's everyone's... Everyone's standing there, like a little bit gobsmacked, but then they start booing, right?
And then they start getting quite angry, and then he starts... He calls Jesus a sausage at one stage.
He says, Jesus, he's just a sausage.
You know, I mean, it's nonsense, harmless nonsense from the brilliant mind of McLaren.
He's a provocateur.
Exactly, that's his whole bag.
But then they go completely nuts, these people, right?
They absolutely won't have Jesus being called a sausage by McLaren, quite rightly.
And they don't think it's funny in any way, and McLaren's clearly just playing the pantomime game, as he always does, you know?
But they go completely bananas and the guy says, right, that's it You've had your say and then McLaren starts turning it into a free speech issue right and saying that no No, you're you're handling this all wrong I'm just having my free speech and if you can't deal with that you're gonna look very bad if you get rid of me because you're censoring me and You know and he's right in a way They totally overreact and then the whole thing turns into like a kind of mad lynch mob, right?
And obviously they they cut the thing to make it look more dramatic
But you get to see all the sort of APs and producers of the show kind of wandering around all these Nathan Barley types, all like madly apologising to the locals and trying to quell this riot that's starting, right, and saying, oh, we're really sorry, really sorry, I'm so sorry, we didn't realise he was going to say that, and look, it's fine, it's fine, cut the cameras, cut the cameras, and it's all going off, man, you know.
And they're sort of saying, the voiceover's saying, we don't know if the show's gonna go ahead at this point, and McLaren has to be whisked away in a car because there's this lynch mob after him.
It was amazing!
But I mean, it was a sort of amazing 15 minutes in an otherwise completely and defensively rubbish programme, as far as I can tell.
Do you know what I mean?
but I just had to share it with you.
Well done.
It concludes next week, incidentally, if you want to see how the whole thing wraps up.
I think it's on Thursdays on ITV1, fairly late at night, where it belongs.
It's a tribute to the late Mike Reed.
It's lovely, very touching.
So there you go, that's Malcolm McLaren News.
Now here's a free play for you listeners.
This is another of
of my surreal slightly surreal strange free plays this week it's a short one though it's by the ruby suns they're from new zealand i think aren't they uh one of the many great things to come out of new zealand in recent times and this is called gible that's the far side with uh passing me by that's a classic track and i do once again direct you towards uh fat lip solo album the loneliest punk
if you like the far side and your feeding for some of their stuff.
I keep forgetting to get hold of that, the loneliest punk.
Yeah, it's downloadable, the loneliest punk.
It's a couple of years old now, but it was released only in the US on CD, I think, but it's around as a download, so I should check that out.
Yeah, it's very, very good.
It's very rude, otherwise I'd play more of it on the radio.
Rude!
Every single track has swearing.
I'm crossing that out!
Now it's time for...
Textimation!
Text!
Textimation!
What if I don't want to?
Textimation!
But I'm using email!
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
Text the Nation this week, the challenge is to beat the Apprentice contestants at their own game by coming up with a better idea for a national day and a greetings card.
If you saw The Apprentice, you'll know exactly what we mean.
If you didn't, what are you doing?
You're missing out.
It's a good show.
Here's one from Andrew from Sheffield.
Hi, Adam and Jo.
I was thinking maybe of a series of cards that would appeal to the modern youth.
And here's the poem inside.
Quote, sorry about the knife fight.
Here's the poem.
I cut your face and laughed and watched you lay there and moan, but now I feel really bad so I've deleted it from my phone.
I won't do it again, promise.
A secret idea, isn't it?
Hoodie cards.
Here's another one from Steven Ipswich.
He says, how about, and quote, are we still in love with each other?
Because if not, we could just, you know, drift apart kind of.
drift apart kind of amicably, day.
Do you get that?
If both partners get the same card from each other, then great.
They've recognised a problem with their relationship without talking about it.
So it's a day where if you love each other, you send a card.
If only one card is sent, or no cards are sent, then without having to bother with the conversation,
That's it.
You split up.
What if no can't assent?
Yeah.
I say you and I were in love.
Yeah.
And we were living together.
Right.
As man and man.
Yeah.
But things had gone wrong in the sack.
Right.
And we'd fallen out of love.
You had to go into what the problem is for everybody.
That is the problem.
I want everyone knowing our problems.
That is the problem.
And we haven't talked about it, and there's just an elephant in the room.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes, I do know what you mean, but why are you telling everybody?
Well, because so far, this day hasn't been invented.
But had it been invented, the day would come along and nothing would be said, but on the telly it would go, oh, of course, it's national.
Do you love each other?
I wonder if you'll be getting a card?
That sort of thing.
We'll just eat our breakfast in silence and ignore it.
Yeah.
Especially after last night.
In the sack.
We will, yeah.
But we'll both have one eye on the letterbox.
So selfish.
Nothing comes through the letterbox.
Apart from maybe a card from me saying I love you.
But that's good though, isn't it?
No, it means you don't love me.
And so we have to split up.
Anyway, we're not spending any more time on that just because you don't understand it.
Otherwise we'd spend hours on everything.
Ready for the next one?
This is from Andrew in Brighton.
I was just a clever way to move on.
It wasn't meant with any actual look, just because we're living together and things have gone wrong.
It's exactly the problem.
Here's one from Andrew in Brighton.
I envisage a card congratulating someone on remaining alive.
There's not enough fanfare to recognise this morbid victory, though etiquette might get a bit tricky.
What age would it become appropriate?
You could call it Keith Richards day.
Yes, National Keith Ridges Day.
Good idea.
Oh my god, you're still alive.
And the older they were, the more frequently you'd have to send it.
The bigger the card.
By the time, if they got over the 100th birthday, you'd have to send them an enormous card every day.
Giant card.
What about a long loo roll style card that you just feed through the leather box endlessly?
Like a toilet roll.
The card would be so big it would fall on them.
And that would be the end.
Kill them.
Yeah.
That would be ironic.
One final one from Rich in France, in Maribel in France.
Oh, hey, that's where Dominic Briggstock did his comedy festival.
Not Dominic Bigstock, Marcus Bigstock.
Right.
His email is, here's my suggestion for a greeting card, a conciliatory card following an argument with your wife.
On the front it says, sorry my love, no honestly I am.
Inside the rhyme reads, my dear and loving wife, we've argued as you know, I was wrong and you were right, so please now let it go.
Keep your ideas coming in 64046 email adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk What is it time for now?
Top of the outweeper, followed by some classic teardrop explodes.
BBC 6 Music What we were talking, we mentioned earlier on the syndrome of songs that have a misleading title, like the title of that song should be
It's just a story.
In fact, I think it's... Well, it's called Treason Brackets.
It's just a story, I think, isn't it?
And maybe that's how it turned out.
But calling it Treason, that's willfully misleading by Julian Coppen.
Teardrop explodes.
Because the word Treason, I don't think is even mentioned once in the lyrics there.
I could be wrong.
That's a very reductive point of view because a song that isn't named after the chorus is pointing you towards a different level of meaning.
People will know that chorus anyway.
The extra title points them towards something subtextual, maybe an area of the lyrics they wouldn't have been interested in previously, or adds a total new patina.
to the aural experience of the... Can you say aural?
Aural.
Yeah, because then it's otherwise it's just aural.
Yeah.
No, you're right.
Wrong.
What?
All of that, I don't agree with any of that.
Right.
None of it.
Because what it comes down to is what do you say when you go into a record shop having heard the thing on the radio or whatever, you know?
You say, can I have...
It's just a story you can have until you realise it's just a story.
What, you mean treason, you idiot?
No, you can't.
Exactly.
You don't know the band well enough to own their records.
Get the name of the song right before you come into my shop, you pathetic CD buying wimp.
Yes, that's exactly the occasion I'm talking about.
Who calls anybody a wimp these days?
Uh, same people that call people wallies.
Wallies?
And say something stonking.
Stonking?
Yeah.
Lenny Henry likes calling things stonking.
The Red Nose Day's all about calling things stonking, isn't it?
Yeah.
I like calling people wallies though.
I think that's a good name.
Well, you're the guy then.
I'm the Wally guy.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
Keep your text-the-nation stuff coming in to 64046, your ideas that can beat the contestants of The Apprentice at thinking of new national days.
A little more music?
Yes, this is... Why are they so confusing?
Just say the words, read them out.
Well yeah, but it says DVNO.
Is that an acronym?
But there's no dots in between the letter words, so I don't understand it.
Is am I supposed to say do no and read the V like a U, like in Roman times?
The band's called Justice, DVNO stands for Divino, reveals De Rosne, who's one of the band.
Quote, in every suburb of the world, in every city, there's always a nightclub called El Divino.
Clubs where you have to wear a white shirt to get in.
A quote that proves that we can't relate to this record at all, because we never go to clubs.
It's aimed at a completely different section of the community, but we're going to play it anyway so that our non-club-going listeners can feel what it's like to go to a club.
Here's Justice with Dovno.
That is Justice with DVNO or DVNO.
They are from France.
They're from Paris.
And the two members of the band Justice are Xavier de Rosne and the Jasper de Urge.
They were.
They were versus Simeon, right?
Justice versus Simeon.
Is that someone different?
Yes, that's someone different.
How can you have two people call Justice?
That is the ones.
They are the ones.
She said it wasn't.
I don't know.
But yes, they are, I think they are the justice that were up against Simeon.
And that's what it sounds like if you go to a club now.
Exactly.
Well, this is what happened.
Xavier, he was sat round with Gaspar in Paris and he was saying, you know, Gaspar, don't you find when you go to a town, there's always a club.
He was saying this in a club.
The music was very loud, hence the shouting.
Davine knows.
Don't you find that?
That's always the case, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
Shall we write a song about it?
That's a nice idea, we should.
It's a good observation though, don't you think it's something everyone can relate to?
Yes, I know how the song will go.
Yes.
A bum, bum, bum.
Oh, the clubs, the clubs, the clubs.
I have a suggestion for the song!
Yes.
Oh yes, I like it!
In between the bits that you said!
Yes, Funky House!
Everybody loves Funky House!
How can you not love Funky House?
That's my idea for the song!
It's just Funky in good times, you know?
We're going to make a lot of money from the song!
Yes, finally we can buy the special poodle we want!
And helmets!
And dress it like a little Nazi!
You've come German!
Hooray, yes, I understand!
We're from France!
We're French people!
We teach it to Gustepe!
What are you talking about?!
I don't know!
I've taken a drink from someone I think despite!
I don't like you anymore!
You're out of justice!
I'm dead.
Get out of justice!
I'm so low now!
Just me, Xavier, there was them from Paris!
That's what it was like.
That's exactly what it was like.
It's like a documentary about how that song Divina was created.
Well, it's the end of the show now.
That lasted for an hour.
Thanks for listening.
We're still here.
45 more minutes, mo' minutes.
We've still got more stuff, uh, text coming in about new greeting cards and new events therein, thereby, thereof.
And also, we have to remind you of our sexy, sexy Song Wars songs.
That'll be in the last half hour.
Yup, and in a second I'm gonna talk you through my Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull playing cards.
Ooh, exciting movie exclusive that have some amazing pictures from the forthcoming Indiana Jones film.
I'm gonna describe and we can try and guess why they happen.
This is like a high-end movie gossip show, isn't it?
It's very exciting, but first... I've got some playing cards and I'm going to tell you what the pictures are on them.
Here's a free play first.
This is everything but the girl from about 84.
I think this is another bridge.
Everything But The Girl from the days before they wore were an extraordinary contemporary dance combo when they used to be just sort of guitars and a little pinch of miserability.
From 1984, that was another bridge.
Now, unless you live on a desert island, unless you've been living under a rock or on Mars, you'll know that there's a new Indiana Jones film coming out.
It's what, 15 years or something insane since the last one?
Long, very long time.
Oh yeah, no, maybe not, maybe not.
But a new one's coming out.
Indiana Jones and the metal Zimmer frame.
Nice.
Because he's so old.
Nice.
So what do you know about it, Adam?
What do you know about the story?
It's called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
What do you know about it?
He's got a hat.
He wears a whip.
He's old.
He's looking for a crystal skull.
Do you know anything about the crystal skull?
What is the crystal skull?
Well, did the Martians make it?
Did they though?
I don't know, did they?
Do you know what it is?
Is it real?
Does it exist in the world?
I remember it from the titles of Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World, which was a fantastic series in the 80s with Arthur C. Clarke, the late great Arthur C. Clarke, discussing all the mysteries while walking along the beach next to his house in wherever it was, Nobbles Island, Mars.
Mars.
And he also had, there was a great spin-off book from that series as well, which did the rounds at school, looking through all those pictures there.
That monster, there's a monster, it's real.
Crop circle.
Yeah, the crystal skull is an actual thing, isn't it?
It's like an Aztec skull, but it's made of glass and it's dated before a time when there were tools, glass making tools or blowing, but yet it has no sign of any kind of toolwork on it.
They can't detect where it was made.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
So it's very exciting.
But I've got this packet of playing cards.
They got from a shop in London.
More exciting.
They're free, 99.
I think.
Indiana Jones are playing cards.
And of course it's very exciting.
It's a bit like... They come from a time before time.
But a time before these cards were officially released.
There's no sign of any mouldings on them.
It's not clear how the cards came into existence.
And how Jones is probably looking for them.
He came to possess them.
Indiana Joe Cornish.
And the playing cards of spoilerage.
How did you come to possess them, Indiana Joe?
I gave £3.99 to a man in a shop.
In for a written planet.
Yes.
Well, somewhere next door to there.
And anyway, of course, images and secrets about the plot of this film are very exciting and closely guarded secrets.
It's a bit like before when the Phantom Menace came out.
And I, like a massive idiot, bought all the toys and then saw the film and realised what an arse I was.
But you're still getting excited.
I'm doing it again because to be honest, Indiana Jones means more to me than Star Wars.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was more excited.
It just hit me at the perfect age.
Fair enough.
But it was a bit more exciting.
Is that wrong to say?
No, it's... it's Brill's.
So I'm very excited, and here are some of the images on the card.
Here, there's one particular image here.
And I'm not spoiling a lot, I don't think.
I actually don't know what I'm doing, what I'm spoiling.
What the hell are you doing, Indiana Jones?
There's an image here.
Look at this.
It's Indiana Jones.
He's gone in quicksand.
This is the Six of Clubs.
He's fallen through the mud.
He's in quicksand.
Sheila Berth.
And is that Karen Allen or Ray Winstone?
Uh, next to him.
Oh, I've no idea.
Give it.
It looks a bit like Karen Allen.
It's Karen Allen and Shia LaBeouf, and Indiana Jones is up to his waist in quicksand.
What's Shia using to help him climb out of the quicksand instead of a rope or a whip?
A snake.
A snake?
Let me see the card again.
And what's Indiana Jones frightened of?
Snake!
He hates... I hate snakes!
You've got to get out of the hole by touching a snake, but... That's brilliant.
Do you think that's brilliant?
Is a snake really the only thing that Shia LaBeouf... It's the only thing that comes to hand.
He's surrounded by trees and creepers.
Could he not grab a tree?
What would be undramatic to have a tree and creeper?
He hates snakes!
Yeah.
Come on.
I hate creepers too!
What's the kind of idea that makes creepers?
I hate more than snakes.
It's creepers.
Here's another one.
What's his name?
John Hurt is in it.
We believe.
Rumour is he plays Abner.
Was he called Abner?
I think the dad.
The dad of Karen Allen.
Oh yes, you know, who's mentioned in Raiders.
And he's holding on this playing cards.
It's the Queen of Diamonds.
He's holding the Crystal Skull, but he's holding it sideways.
And the Crystal Skull has a very elongated cranium.
Oh, look at that.
It's an alien.
It looks exactly like Alien from the Ridley Scott films.
No.
It fits in terms of the timeline from the Alien film and then Predator turns up, then Indiana Jones has to battle Predator and the Alien.
Wow.
It's Indy, AVP, Requiem, Nightmare.
The final card is the Joker.
Who's going to be on the Joker?
Jack Nicholson.
Ray Winston.
Be a wolf himself.
And look at that, he's trying to stop something from happening.
He's holding a torch!
Stop it!
Leave Indy alone!
I've got a metal torch!
I'm looking forward to that scene.
He's trying to bat away something.
Something's just about it.
I bet someone's gonna throw spiders or bugs at Ray Winston.
And he's got a torch to fire him off.
That's very exciting.
So, there you go.
We hope that's tickled to your fancy about Indiana Jones.
Not bad for $3.99.
Indiana Jones?
Oh, they've airbrushed his face on the cards, though.
He's not looking as craggy as he does in real life.
It's just an oil painting, probably.
You reckon?
Uh, this is Soul Wax with too many DJs.
Is it?
No, it's Invisible Trail.
What is it, Invisibles?
What is the Invisibles?
Why can't you just play a trail to make me look good?
Play the song to make me look good.
You should have, yeah.
Play the trail, play the song.
You're undermining it.
The song, trail, trail, song.
What are you talking about in here, Joe?
Trail!
Oh my gosh.
Oh, Soulwax, anything to do with, uh, Audioslave?
No.
No, nothing.
I don't know why I've got them bracketed in my head.
I think maybe they're bracketed and under the section, music I will never go out and spend any money on.
I'm only joking, of course, that was amazing.
They're brilliant.
A kind of collision of styles, a little bit of human beatboxing in there, and then just some noise.
Chuck it all in.
Some sounds.
Throw it all.
Shouting.
See what sticks.
That was too many DJs.
Fingers crossed for a hit.
Now, we are in the midst of Text the Nation and we're asking you guys to send in ideas for greeting cards and special days that those greeting cards would celebrate.
We're asking you to beat the Apprentice contestants at this week's task.
Come up with a better National Day and a card to send for it.
Here's one from Yan in Hitchin.
He says, how about a sorry I slept with your partner.
It's just I was feeling a bit sad and needed to bolster my self-esteem besides their very attractive card.
Certainly a gap in the market.
Surely.
That's quite a big gap, I would think.
Because that's a tricky situation and you need to apologize but you don't want to get punched.
That's right.
Perfect to do with a card.
I think that's a very good idea.
Here's one from Joe, not me.
He or she says, how about not a sorry you're leaving card, but a when are you leaving card?
A day when colleagues can get together and buy a card for an irritating colleague.
Yeah, that's encouraging.
Bullying, though, isn't it?
Office bullying.
That is office bullying.
That's very bad, Joe.
We're reporting you to the police, because of course bullying is now a crime, and you will have your head cut off.
That's a lie.
Which is a very extreme... I know.
For a case of mild office bullying.
Ever since the toys got back into power, things have changed.
Here's another one from Jonny.
My idea is for a National Stranger Day.
On July 1st, everyone who wants to take part sends an anonymous card with either the text Hello Stranger or Don't Be a Stranger in the middle.
The cards are then placed in huge boxes around train stations, shopping centres and bus stops.
Whoever wants a card can take one.
Thus, everyone gets to know their fellow countrymen.
This will promote togetherness and general social harmony.
That's a good idea.
It's a lovely idea, wasn't it?
Wait for it.
The cards are made of recycled National Stranger Day cards.
Apart from the first year, obviously, when they're made of steel.
Very, very good, Johnny.
They're made of charcoal.
He sounds nice, Johnny.
I think I might call him up and make friends with him.
That's good, man.
We'll have some more of those after the news and some music.
But right now, here is the news here on BBC Six Music.
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
Did we say we're gonna do a new Text-o-Nation jingle?
I think we might have.
Or maybe a new Song Wars jingle.
We should have the remixing.
What we should do is just have a little bit, uh, a few weeks of a new jingle, right?
And it won't be as good as the old jingle.
And then we'll go back and we can call it the classic jingle.
It's like seeing an old friend again.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a good idea.
Classic jingle.
Before that, sorry, mate, um, before that, you heard listeners the hives there.
That was main offender.
Carry on.
Okay, we're going to wrap up Text the Nation, and this week we're seeing if we can beat the Apprentice contestants at their own game.
Come up with a better solution to the task that was issued this week, which was to come up with a national day and a card to celebrate said day.
So far we've had some very good ideas, but here are even more good ideas.
This one's from Wilski.
Will Skeet.
Norm Skeet's brother, probably.
He says, how about, and quote, I like you, you know, you're okay, day.
This has probably got the biggest market potential of any such card stroke day.
Sorry, is this, is this, um, intersexual, or is this just to any, any person?
To anybody.
Right.
I like you.
You're okay.
Yeah, you're not special.
You know, I don't want to know you, but you're okay.
You're alright, you haven't offended me.
And the potential profit must run into billions of pounds.
Many people will simply feel compelled to send cards to everybody they know.
And probably even people they don't know, just to avoid being seen as showing bad form.
I'm almost certain that's true.
That's quite a good idea, isn't it?
No.
Why not?
Because you need to feel a certain amount of emotion to compel you to buy the card in the first place.
The marketing push is so huge that you have to do it.
Okay.
You feel like a stingy stinker if you don't do it.
Yeah.
And you've got to send them to everybody.
Oh, now I understand.
Yeah, I know, it's a very good idea.
I think Sugar would go for that.
Okay.
Here's one from Helen.
How about a national binge drinking day?
It's become a national institution in itself.
It's about time we became proud of it, started to celebrate it with pointless cards and mugs.
Here's the poem.
Go out there and get drunk, but try not to call your ex and cry.
Enjoy it because tomorrow's Monday and don't jump off a building thinking you can fly.
Doesn't scan particularly well.
We need to work on the poem, I think.
I'm pretty sure Helen was drunk out of her mind when she actually wrote that.
She's researching the day.
Here's one from Ed Norrie in Bournemouth.
How about a card for National Coming Out Day?
One day each year, someone who's been anxious about admitting to their friends and parents that they're gay could send cards out on this day as a way of broaching the subject without the awkwardness of discussing it directly.
That's a good idea.
Sample poem for a son to his mum.
Dearest mum, I know you dreamt one day you'd be a gran.
I'm sorry this could never be, I've shacked up with a man.
Well, that's a good idea, but of course that's not necessarily the case, you can always adopt.
Perhaps the card could include a picture of... Well, you include that in the rhyme then.
Yeah, rhymes with adopt.
Brackets, you could... Well, you could just put brackets, you could always adopt.
Yeah.
Although you could always adopt.
No, it's a nice rhyme.
It's not quite so poetic, I agree with you, but...
Perhaps the card cover could include a picture of a respected gay celebrity to endorse your act of honesty, such as Daffydd, the only gay in the village from Little Britain.
He is very well respected, isn't he?
He's the figurehead the gay community really want.
Yeah.
Here's another one from Geraldine and Dave, a team effort.
I would like to wish you a very belated... What?
Hang on.
Dear Adam and Jo, their idea is Very Happy Wednesday.
I reckon it'll catch on fast.
This is interesting.
I was thinking about this.
The best day of the week.
Well, let's face it, it's everyone's least favourite day.
Oh, I like it.
Equidistant between the joys of the weekend.
That's a scientific fact.
I'm sure Alan Sugar would be impressed by the chance to exploit people's gullibility 50 twice times a year.
I like Wednesdays.
Here are some other short ones.
Andrew in Sheffield, a card saying, good luck with the reality TV show.
Yeah, a lot of those.
Exactly.
Because so many people appear on them these days, right?
He suggested another one.
Congratulations on your grandad going gay.
I don't know what national trend that's reflecting.
That's a smaller market.
It's a good idea, though.
If you're a grandad, you've got the breeding side of life out of the way.
Sex life has dried up.
Maybe go gay.
Yeah, just a tip.
Yeah.
And that's pretty much it.
Do you want to hear the last one, the last idea I had?
This is so bad that I'm hesitating to read it out.
Why not not read it?
That's a good idea.
But now I've mentioned it.
It's a card for people who've had arguments about the remote control.
But it does happen a lot though.
This is the thing.
I mean it's a cliched observation.
Spit it out, come on.
Okay.
Just say it.
I've noticed that you've been remote
Because I'm flicking the TV remote.
You seem to think that I'm ignoring your telly-watching vote.
It's not that I don't want to watch America's top model again.
I'm just checking all the options in case we're missing dragons, Den.
Uh, here's the last shadow puppets with my mistakes were made for you.
Ma, that's the last shadow puppets with my mistakes were made for you.
Now it's time for... It's time for Song Wars.
And we're very privileged to be joined on the phone by Jason.
Hello, Jason.
Hi there.
Jason is the man who suggested the theme for this week's Song Wars.
Did you not, Jason?
I did indeed, yes.
You sent us a text, it said, please do an almost sexually explicit porn music style song for Song Wars.
Now, have you heard these songs yet, Jason?
I have, yes.
And, well, maybe we should get your response after the songs, do you think?
After you've heard them a second time?
Because often on a first hearing a song can be confusing and difficult, but then he's gonna have to sit on the phone for another five minutes listening to us dribble.
Alright, let's just get over with now.
What do you think of the songs, Jason?
I feel violated.
Really?
That's good.
Say no more.
I think that's very good.
In a pleasant way or unpleasant way?
In a dirty way.
Well that sounds as if the songs have been successful.
Are they erotic enough for you?
Yeah, is it the kind of thing you were thinking of?
Yeah, exactly.
You weren't thinking about dirty robots?
Okay, they can work together though.
The future of the NHS promises to include both sexy doctors and dirty robots.
I'll see my J.P.
Yeah, I'd make your appointment right now!
What's the weekend got in store for you, Jason?
Well, no, we can guess that.
What?
What the weekend's got in store for Jason.
Sexy films.
Dirty magazines.
I'll probably be sitting around in my pants.
Do you do what John Candy did in Splash and drop change at women's feet and then look up their skirts?
I think my wife would kill me.
Right.
Everybody's done that.
Come on.
Mirrors on Shoes.
Listen, Jason, thank you so much for your suggestion.
That was in Splash.
That's a family film.
Splash!
We've never done it.
John Candy did it.
He's a family fun favourite.
Yeah.
Thanks a lot for your suggestion.
Very nice to speak to you and have a great weekend.
And thanks for listening to our show, by the way, Jason.
Cheers.
I love it.
Thank you very much.
Hey, thanks, Jason.
So here are the songs again.
We're going to flip them around this time.
We're going to start with Adam's Dirty Robots.
Don't lie down with a lovely oily rag There's something's not inside my special tube I wonder if you'd be so kind as to remove it I would like to dig up to your ultimate I can
It makes us quite stroppy Because we're incompatible when we get the hots Now it's all wireless, there's the connection
I think that Sapnap likes me, she's seen my modem hanging out, that's right babe, it's enormous and it does the job, well just about.
Here, let's get connected.
There we go, now you can send me dirty pictures, very very slow.
Now where's your lovely hard drive box, have you got a slot for me?
Hey, what's the problem, why'd you kick me in the USB?
We're dirty robots, we're dirty robots We wish to connect without the machines with slots We're not that biggie, but we're finding it tricky Cause no one seems to want to and we thought they'd be lots So we're sticking our cables, wherever we're able Which sometimes can result in some extremely nasty shocks Dirty robots
There you go.
You get the picture.
That's song number one, Dirty Robots, composed by Adam Buxton, who's here live in the studio with us.
Hello, Adam.
Hi, how are you doing?
What were your thoughts behind that song?
None.
Great.
And here's the second song.
This is recorded by Mijo Kornish, and it's called Sexy... No, it's called Doctor Sexy.
Doctor's ready to see you if you'd like to go through.
My name is Dr. Sexy I got just what you need But I ain't got no medical degree Know what I mean?
A diet knows that you have sexy disease
The symptoms include hotness and the wearing of tight jeans.
Would you pop this in your mouth?
Don't worry, it's clean.
It's just the limiter.
Oh my god, no, she's hotter than anyone I've ever seen.
That's tortoise.
Is your diagnosis the same as mine?
Yes, Dr. Sexy.
It's outrageous.
And I think she's so hot it's contagious.
I can't fake it.
I can't take it.
And I'm feeling the urge to get naked.
That kind of talk's inappropriate, that's tortoise.
What kind of doctor's surgeon do you think this is?
Sexy.
Sexy doctor.
Dr. Sexy.
Oh yes.
I really forgot.
My name is Dr. Sexy.
But I'm not any Jess This is a private practice Now pop off your vest Can I try an experimental technique I learned in Japan?
They call me Doctor Sexy, and I've sterilized my tools.
Let's break some British Medical Association rules.
Doctor Sexy, you'll be struck up for that.
Sounds good.
Oh, that's the end of Dr. Sexy.
Yeah, that's Dr. Sexy.
So there we go.
Send your vote by email.
We're not allowed to accept votes by text anymore because of special Newcastle rules.
So email your vote to Adam and Jo, all one word, dot six music at bbc.co.uk.
And just to remind you, because some people get a bit confused about who's who and what's what.
Um, uh, your song, which is Dirty Robots.
Adam Buxton, Dirty Robots.
And Dr. Sexy, Joe Cornish.
It's not that we care.
It's just the joy of making the music.
Yeah, exactly.
It's all about the music.
Speaking of which, here's the last of my Choices for you listeners this week.
This is The Cure, and it's from the album Seventeen Seconds, which is really, you know, even by their standards.
Sorry, can I just say I do care?
quite depressing.
What?
You care about what?
Who wins?
Oh yes, yes.
Dookah, that was a lie.
I was trying to sound noble, but actually we care.
We do care.
You've got it in the bag this week.
Just because I was lying earlier and it's the big British castle and we're not allowed to lie.
Can't lie.
I care a lot.
There's no lie.
I have to win.
Care much too much.
Otherwise it's going to be miserable.
Well, you've taken a defeat the last few weeks, haven't you?
Yes.
No, it's definitely been a bad period for me, a dark period.
It's in the bag for Dr. Sexo.
Do you think?
Yeah, definitely.
You just want the opposite to happen.
Definitely.
Well, I'm not trying to, like, psych you out.
I think it's maybe the better song this week.
Maybe.
But the listeners will decide, you know?
They might be grooving to the dirty robots all week.
Every vote counts.
Exactly.
So yes, this is called In Your House by The Cure.
Hope you enjoy this one.
That's the cure within your house.
That's hypnotic, man.
I love that song.
That's a brilliant album as well.
17 Seconds.
Thanks.
I remember as well that when we were at school, we were at school with a guy called Mark Myers, as he was then, later known as Mark Keds, of a band called The Sensless Things, who were around in the early 90s.
And The Sensless Things actually formed while we were at school.
Different members, of course.
But our friend Patrick was in The Sensless Things for a while.
He played bass.
And
Mark Myers came in one day with this new song that he'd written called In Your Room, and basically it was a total rip of that song by The Cure in Your House.
But it's a good song to rip off, though.
It's so deceptively simple.
And my friend Patrick, he hadn't heard that song.
And he said, oh yeah, listen to this song that Mark just played.
It's really wicked, yeah.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
So have you heard 17 Seconds by The Cure?
You should listen to this track.
It's very similar.
And there was a little eruption there.
That's how a lot of bands still operate.
That's true, yeah.
I'm not suggesting that Mark, thereafter, stole other people's songs.
No, no, no, no.
This has been Adam and Jo on BBC6 Music.
Thanks very much for listening.
Thanks to everyone who's texted and also communicated by email.
Don't forget, this show is available in its entirety on Listen Again all week and in podcast form with all the most of the rubbishy bits taken out and the best rubbishy bits left in.
It'll be up there from about six on Sunday.
Yes, have a good week, take care, and we'll be with you again next Saturday morning from 9 till 12 here on BBC 6 Music.
Stay tuned for Liz Kershaw.
Goodbye.