Hello, and welcome to the big, pretty castle!
It's Ike Vadam and Dr. Boardcast on your DigiMox.
God is filling in the Joes in Los Angeles, and apart from that, the show remains the same.
They're tiny bit lame.
Oh, naughty Christmas crackers.
Lovely bit of rock.
little bit of rock there hitting you in the head listeners early in the morning that was Oasis with the shock of the lightning right up in your face I mean that would be the shock of the lightning presumably would be considerable well it's deadly people that you know die and continue to die from the lightning but it only happens once so you're all right yeah
Yeah, that's true.
Only strikes once.
Unfortunately, we're gonna be playing that quite a lot, though, I imagine.
So it doesn't apply to that particular track.
I thought that was good, though.
Did you?
Good.
No, it is.
I take it you did too.
It's invigorating.
But I feel like I, you know, at this stage in my life, I feel like I want to pick a fight with Oasis, you know what I mean?
I just want to pick a fight, because I think they've got to a certain point now where they're getting a bit dodgy.
But that happened last week.
Somebody jumped on stage, picked a fight, and he got beaten up by them.
Not a physical fight.
I still feel that they can handle themselves a little bit.
I reckon they'd take you down, Buxton.
I think they probably would, yeah.
But I know what you mean about sort of feeling a bit agitated by all.
Yeah.
Anyway, listen, listeners.
Let's get over it.
Yeah, it's all fine.
This is Adam here.
Hello, this is Garth.
I'm still standing in for Joe, who's still in America, although I think he's going to be coming in on the telephone later.
Is that right?
Yeah, we're going to be speaking to him within the next half an hour.
We have his hotel number.
I'm going to give him a call.
It's sweet.
It is five past one in the morning.
He might have just got back from his party.
Los Angeles, yes, exactly.
So we're gonna be finding out what he's doing.
We did brag about the fact that we were gonna have him on Like an ISDN line last week, but that turned out not to be possible Because of the crunch probably.
It's the crunch.
It's everywhere.
It's almost everything.
Crunch is fault.
Speaking of which we're gonna be resolving our crunch song wars this week We're gonna be finding out who won the crunching songs.
Well, you made the best one and in fact, you've redone one of them, haven't you?
Well, I don't know how the vote is going to go, obviously, but just in case I take it, I finished off my first one.
I did a kind of insane, operatic, musical-type one.
Yeah, but you rubbish that at the time, and then all the emails that were coming through, because I was sitting next to the email computer, they were all saying, oh, that was the best one.
That was the best one, and you'd thrown it in the bin.
But I'm glad you picked it out of the bin and tidied it up a bit.
I persevered with it.
Anyway, we'll be finding out about that in the second half hour this morning.
Of course, we've got Text the Nation.
We've got all sorts of little nuggets for you as well.
We've made some stuff.
Yeah, we've been making things for you folks, so stay tuned for the next two hours and 53 minutes.
We've got great music as well, of course, some of which we've chosen ourselves.
Other other bits of which have just been chosen for us by the geniuses at six music This is a track right now that has been re-released It's by M.I.A.
Or you can call her Maya.
Is she called Maya?
I think in real life she's called Maya, but it's M.I.A as an artist, right, right, you know standing for missing action.
Yeah, presumably.
Yeah
And this track has been re-released because you say Garth- It's- I think it's on the soundtrack for Pineapple Express.
Which is so hot right now.
So hot.
Cause it's so hot right now and it's funny.
It's a new week and it's another Seth Rogen movie.
Yeah, it's a Judd Apatow movie.
Have you seen it yet?
No, I haven't.
It looks quite good.
Um, I'm sure it's what are they doing?
They're running around again.
They yeah, it's a bit like a sort of midnight run crossed with teaching Chong, right?
Good.
That wasn't a bad pitch.
Was it good?
I've got to work on my pitching.
So here's mia with paper planes mia with paper planes This is adam and garth here on bbc6 music garth is sitting in for joe who's in
Los Angeles and we're going to call Joe, I think maybe after the next bit of music, which is a free play and I've chosen this one for you listeners.
This is from Love.
Are you aware of Love, Garth?
I was gonna make a joke.
No, I'm not aware of the band Love, no.
Do you need some love?
I need some love.
a little bit of love.
Well, you know, they created one of the all-time classic albums of the entire world that regularly tops Best of album lists.
Really?
Forever Changes by Love, which is a strange, wonderful, and weird rock album.
I've never heard of that.
A little bit psychedelic, a little bit weird, has the lyrics, well, the snot has caked upon my pants.
At one point.
That sounds like one of yours.
I know, it's amazing.
And this is the number one Mojo magazine type album.
Yeah, I mean not just Mojo, that's a classic album right there, Forever Changes.
Arthur Lee, have you heard of Arthur Lee?
What have you been doing for the last 200 years?
Arthur, who is the Arthur that did I Am The God of Hellfire and I Bring You Fire?
Arthur Brown.
Arthur Brown, I know all his stuff.
Crazy Arthur Brown.
Now Arthur Lee never acted.
Arthur Lee was a little bit of a wayward character as well.
Sounds like a little shaky chap.
Arthur Lee.
No, he was American and he is credited with, or rather he's not credited so much, with inspiring Jimi Hendrix's whole sartorial bag, basically.
Arthur Lee was dressing up in all that groovy
psychedelic threads way before Hendrix and Hendrix came across him when Hendrix was quite a snappily dressed young man.
It's like they're Cyndi Lauper to Madonna's styling.
Cyndi Lauper was always very angry.
That's true.
That Madonna sort of took her thing and ran with it.
It's exactly the similar.
I'm just trying to cross over to the pop people in the world there.
Yeah, there you go.
That's more your area really, isn't it?
Yeah, Cyndi Lauper.
In classic album lists, you'd be voting for... What is the classic Cyndi Lauper album to get?
Oh, I don't know.
Yes, you do.
No, I don't.
But anyway, I chose this love track because it's not on Forever Changes and I heard it at the end of a show called Entourage, you know, Entourage?
Yes.
If you've ever watched that show, it's great.
In fact, it's one of your things that you've recommended to me, like The Wire.
And I'd say, oh, no, it won't be any good.
And then I watch it and then I can't stop watching it.
Well, The Wire is a safe bet.
You know, most people know that The Wire is great, but Entourage is one of those weird ones.
You know, it's an American show about these
about this little kind of mini brat pack, this little posse of a famous bloke, Vinnie Chase, and his little gang of acolytes, his old friends from back home that he lives with in this house in Los Angeles, and they basically have lots of fun and everything more or less goes right for them.
That's what I like about it.
Yeah.
It goes well.
Everything just goes really, really well.
So most telly and films are all about how bad things are.
Now, this is all about Vinnie Chase and how brilliant he is, and how brilliant his life is, and how successful he is, and that he just keeps getting more successful.
At least he does through the first three series of entourage.
We're on series five now, I think.
And series four, there was a dramatic drop-off in quality, in my opinion.
It suddenly became not in any way enjoyable.
Was it in quality or just plotline?
Did it just go all the bits out?
Everything just went rubbish.
It just took a nosedive.
It was weird, like, I don't know if all the writing teams swapped over or what, but it just... The credit crunch, again, it touches everything.
Maybe.
Just stripping it back.
It was pre-writer's strike, though, so I don't know.
And, uh, Series 5 is not much better.
But good music, they've got, including this track by Love.
This is 7 and 7 Is.
That's The Stow Roses, of course, with Sally Cinnamon.
And before the trail, you heard 7 and 7 Is by Love.
This is Adam and Garth here on BBC 6 Music.
Uh, Garth is Garth Jennings, the acclaimed pop video and film director.
Also a close friend of the show.
And- I love you, man.
Uh, easy.
He's here filling in for Joe who is still indisposed.
But we have him on the telephone.
Hey, Joe.
Now look here, you two.
First things first, you can't call it Adam and Garth.
You've got to call it Adam and Joe featuring Garth.
While you're away, I'm just taking over.
And let me tell you, things are going to change around here.
Well, listen, Garth Jennings.
There's a precedent, isn't there, with shows where, you know, maybe one of the people gets ill or maybe has to go away on spurious work-related travels.
Yeah.
Isn't there a way to describe that without actually objecting that person's name from the title of the show?
Well, yes, but that's only if you go once.
You've been away for years.
I forfeited that right.
You've gone and I'm in.
It's true.
It's like last week was fair enough.
This week, you know, we're doing new jingles.
We're dressing goth in your clothes.
He's got a later on where we're teaching him to say certain things.
He's moving in with your girlfriend this weekend.
I don't know if you realize that.
So it's all basically, that's the way it's going to go.
It's going to be like when, I've forgotten all English people's names, but when
Oh, what was that Channel 5 chat show host?
And Graham Norton filled in for him.
And he won all the awards.
Do you remember what was he called Jack Docherty?
Right.
That's right, actually, yes.
He went off and then Norton came in with his jolly pixie-like camp ways.
And he steam-rolled a doggity out of showbiz.
Well, I'm bringing my pixie camp ways into this studio.
And I'm going to try and- You brought your camp pixies with you.
Yes, I brought a bunch of camp pixies.
I'm going camping with some pixies later and I brought them with me.
So listen, Joe, moving swiftly on from the pixies.
Sorry.
That's alright, I'm just getting a bit jealous of all the, you know, I want some pixies.
Can I just say something, but this doesn't feel as if this is on the radio.
I know.
It feels like I'm talking to you on the phone.
Well, tell us where you are.
I'm just in my bedroom in a hotel in Los Angeles.
I've got the people talking about the presidential debate, analysing it on the telly.
But it just feels like I'm talking to you on the phone and I'm tempted to swear or act casually.
I keep having to remind myself that this is on radio, isn't it?
It's real.
It's live on radio.
It's 1.25 in the morning there, right?
Yeah, something like that.
And you're out there, you're working at the moment, is that correct?
Yes, and that's important that we make that clear.
I'm working, not on holiday.
I'm working very hard to try and scrape a living because as people know, and in fact there's been some chat about this on the podcast, we get paid 30 pence a week to do the six music show, is that right?
Well, it's going up to 40 when our contracts really go straight.
Right.
Oh yes, we did, didn't we?
Um, I have to say, not yet.
Well, I hear, I officially declare that you should get that 20 pence.
I've got no claim on it.
And you can spend it however you want.
I think I may have spent it getting here.
So listen.
There you go.
Buy yourself a Caramax.
It's neither chocolate nor white chocolate or toffee.
It's somewhere in between.
More than 20p though, isn't it?
You're right.
After a couple of weeks filling in, you can buy yourself a Caramax.
It's generous of me to be away for so long.
So listen, Joe, we're gonna play some music right now.
We're gonna play the Jack White song, Another Way to Die, the Bond theme.
And after that, we're gonna come back and find out what you've been up to.
That's exciting.
So here's Jack White with the song.
Cool.
He's thrown everything into a pot there and stirred it around.
That's Jack White with Another Way to Die.
This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music with Garth filling in for Joe.
You still there, Joe?
Yeah, thanks for announcing it properly there.
Yeah, it's okay.
I only do it that way because you're actually on the line later on.
I'll go back to the other way.
But we've got to go to the news now, Joe.
I forgot all about the news.
Why?
Because apparently there's things happening in the world that are... What could be more important than this conversation?
It seems unbelievable, doesn't it?
But we're going to find out very shortly.
So we'll come back to you after the news and a bit of music.
Stay tuned, listeners, for Joe News.
But first, here is the world news.
Oh, dear.
Just ran out of power at the end.
I can't be asking the last bit.
That is... Oh, well, shut up.
No, get out.
What are you doing?
That's completely unprofessional.
Chatting at the end of that and laughing.
That's booty for you.
Was that Collins?
All over the place at Collins.
He's a total disgrace.
You know, that song would be better, I think, if it was called Groovers in the Heart.
You know what I mean?
Like, just a lot of little groovers.
and they're in there and they're having a good time, cos that's what the video looks a bit like, you know?
I love that video.
And that song and everything, it just reminds me of Art School.
Lady Miskir.
She was a desirable creature.
But she was one of those people in real life who didn't quite hold up as well.
Not really, no.
It's a horrible thing to say, I can't believe I said that.
Stay grooving around in the heart.
I know that's unusually, um, horrible for you, Garth.
Yeah.
Well, one of the world's nicest people.
Well, no, underneath it's all pure evil.
Evil.
Pure evil.
Speaking of pure evil.
Joe!
On the line we have Joe Cornish, formerly of the Adam and Joe radio program, now of Los Angeles, friend of Lemmy and Pamela Anderson, all the other people that live in Los Angeles.
Who have you been hanging out with this week that you can tell us about, Joe?
Or who have you spotted?
How about that?
Many famous people.
I actually had a very enjoyable dinner with amongst other people.
popular six-music DJ Stephen Merchant, who's also chosen not to turn up for his show.
Right, they're all just going out and having fun in LA.
I think he directed an episode of The American Office, and was possibly out here for the Emmys that were last weekend.
But you know, in relation to God, what you were just saying about being rude about the lady, one of the topics of conversations between Stephen and me was post-radio show depression.
And we were both saying that sometimes after an exciting six-music show, we come home and we feel strangely depressed.
Right.
And we've talked about this, Adam, haven't we?
No, I don't know what you're talking about.
And it's usually because you've said something that you regret.
Yeah.
light goth being rude about the lady from Groove is in the heart.
Is that what the band's called?
No, the band's called Delight, but don't worry.
Yeah, well, you know, that's the nature of radio though, isn't it?
You have to fill space and your mouth tends to work a little faster than your brain sometimes.
We decided it was like being a rock star.
And this just transitioned from going to speaking to lots of people and every word you say having importance to just going home
and no one caring about you or listening to you is just sometimes too much to bear.
So you sink into deep depression.
But listen man, what have you been up to out there apart from worrying about things you've said on the radio?
Well, just working really, but I've seen films and I've watched a lot of telly.
What's the most exciting film you have seen?
I have seen, uh, I've seen Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express and Burn After Reading.
I've seen lots of them.
What was Burn After Reading like?
It's very good.
Very funny.
Slightly depressing.
A little bit nihilistic.
It's the new Coen- The new Coen Brothers film.
Yeah.
I'm so pleased to hear it's good.
I thought it was- It's got Brad Pitt in it.
Right, right, right.
Doing comedy and he's very good.
But I just feel like a showbiz reporter on some terrible radio station now.
Well, what else have you got for us then?
Well, the most exciting thing I've watched is the David Blaine three-hour magic special.
Has that been on British Tele?
No, but he's hanging upside down, isn't he?
As we speak.
Yeah, no, it all came to an amazingly disappointing climax.
He's gonna have massive eyes in a minute.
He did for a while.
Basically, what he said he was gonna do was hang upside down like a bat.
from a frame work thing about forty feet high in the middle of first central park the woman ice rink he was gonna hang upside down uh... force sixty hours or something and then after that he was going to be called to the top of the structure and then he was going to perform a mysterious piece of magic he described as the dive of death so they turned this into a three-hour television spectacle uh... that went out live a couple of nights ago and in the bottom left hand corner they had a countdown clock to the to the dive of death
And they intercut shots of him hanging upside down with stuff of some new street magic.
The clock ticked down, and frankly, after two hours and 55 minutes of the countdown, I was in a frenzied state of magic-based excitement.
I loved magic, and I was desperate to see David do his trick.
But it went kind of wrong.
And I would encourage people to do a search by David Blaine or Dive of Death on YouTube,
and have a look at some of the footage that's been posted by people who were there of the dive of death.
Because what happened is he jumped off this podium and then was sort of suspended by a rope about six inches above the ground where he proceeded to sort of dangle looking embarrassed.
And this massive crowd of people started booing him.
And he waved and looked rather sheepish, and then suddenly started being hoisted upwards again.
Everyone went silent, very confused.
And then he sort of floated up into the air, sort of slowly, and no one knew what was supposed to happen.
So we didn't know whether this was, you know, what he'd planned or whether it was going wrong.
You know what it sounds like?
It's very similar to when you do quite a gelatinous spit, a bit of a gob, you know what I mean?
And you're able to, you get a certain type of consistency after you've been drinking a fizzy drink or whatever, that you can do like a really long string of drool that you're able to then suck back up into your mouth at a certain point.
And it feels strange because it's all cold.
The drool of death.
That's what David was after, really.
That's what they should have called it, the human loogie.
But the twist was he then floated into the air above and beyond the structure that was supposed to be a sort of magical David Copperfield-style flying feat.
But unfortunately, the flash bulbs of the onlookers illuminated eight big helium balloons.
Right.
Which he was tied to.
He just ended up looking a bit stupid.
And then the announcer said David has vanished into the air.
And that comment was met with boos and jeers of derision because the crowd could clearly see David landing quite safely in the park about a hundred yards away, being untied from his balloon.
He's been hoisted into the air like Dr. Snuggles by a large gang of balloons.
Man, that sounds wonderful.
I'm going to go and look at that on YouTube later on.
Will you stick with us, Joe, through this next track and give us one more bit of LA-style gossip?
Of course.
I'll try and think of something.
Okay, now, Garth, is this your choice?
No.
Oh, it's nothing to do with me.
Ah, now, I've got to get this right this time.
I thought it was, the band was called Death.
It's, the band is called White Lies, and this track is called Death.
I mean, that does sound very 80s, doesn't it?
Yeah, it does, very.
That's almost like sort of psychedelic furs.
Psychedelic furs is perfect.
I was trying to think of the band just then.
Mixed in with a bit of Whitesnake or something.
That little bit of whiny.
Uh, that was White Lies, however, with... That's not the name of the track.
Uh, Death.
That was just a... I was clearing my throat there.
But sooner or later, a band will call their... themselves.
Well, it was a bit like that track... by the Crash Systems.
You're the only man I know who can hit that note.
That's brilliant.
I can't do it.
It just sounds like I'm burping.
I'm a system now.
Go ahead.
Yeah, but there's some of course you've got the band who were just three exclamation marks, but they were known as chick chick chick weren't they?
And there was, before underworld or underworld, they were a strange symbol, like, weren't they?
Or something like... Yes, that's right.
Frrrr, they were no less.
Frrrr.
But you couldn't write it, you had to have a shape.
It was, it looked a little like an at with a squiggle at the end.
Drove everybody mad.
Brilliant.
And how will you represent... No idea, actually.
I draw like a cross-section of a man's face, you know when they show how your throat works?
Right.
I draw that.
That's, I don't know.
I'm just riffing here.
So, Joe, are you still there?
Yeah.
The band Fro, that single was called Doot Doot.
It's actually very good.
Yeah, it's brilliant.
You should play it next week, maybe.
That might be going a little bit too far.
No, it is good.
It is good.
You even got their album, didn't you?
Oh, no, I had the single on Seven Inch.
Right.
And I played it quite recently and it was really quite good.
It's great.
He's, uh... Play it!
Yeah, alright then.
I don't think Darren Emerson was with them when they did Doot Doot.
I think he joined in the underworld days.
This isn't Doop.
The other one that was... No.
Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot Doot
That's why I left the country.
I still want to play that one.
Isn't that all right to bring out now?
Hasn't that sort of passed the, you know, it's into the nice... The stink by date.
The stink by date.
It's actually gone past it into another realm of niceness.
Into wickosity.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe I'm gonna push for that one to be played next week.
So did you enjoy Tropic Thunder then, Joe?
Yes, I did enjoy it very much.
It's the most expensive comedy ever made.
That's not true.
How much did it cost?
It cost over a hundred million apparently.
You're joking!
It's astonishing and the weird thing is it's mostly set in the jungle.
So they packed the whole a hundred million dollars into the first 20 minutes.
and Tom Cruise's makeup.
Right, his rubbish makeup.
You've seen it, haven't you Adam?
Yeah, I mean it was funny and Cruise was especially chucklesome, I thought, but that makeup is no good.
That's not a hundred million dollars worth of makeup budget they've got there for the makeup.
What have they done to him?
He just looks like French and Saunders in their daft fat suit.
Oh, he's a fat Tom Cruise.
Yeah, he looks like a big Harvey Weinstein guy or whatever.
Okay.
He's got big massive freakish arms.
And he sort of grooves around.
But that's the other thing, is that he grooves around in a way that is clearly the way of a thin man.
Do you know what I mean?
Like a big fat man would have to lumber a bit more.
And I was thinking, Cruise, an actor of his caliber, should have factored that into the whole preparation process, shouldn't he?
Or am I taking it too seriously?
I think you might be taking it too seriously, but it must be fun to wear a fat suit.
I think Tom Cruise is just having a good time.
Yeah, but for a hundred million dollar movie, you can't have a good time, Garth.
It's too much at stake.
That's my point.
What do you think, Joe?
I agree.
I think that's too much money to spend on something as frivolous as comedy.
It should be spent on something important.
Exactly like what?
Uh, like something written by me.
Yes!
Or you.
Or Adam.
Or any child.
Later on, Joe, we're going to be talking a bit about making the world a better place.
Did you see this, that Google have offered like a huge amount of money to encourage people to think of ideas to make the world a better place?
Really?
I've got an idea to make the world a better place.
What's your idea?
It's actually a Google-based idea, it's to stop that stupid Google car driving around taking pictures of everybody's houses.
Have you come across that yet?
No.
I was looking out of my window several weeks ago and a car was driving along my road and I thought it was a council car taking pictures of illegally parked cars.
So I sort of made a sneery, curtain twitching face at the lens.
And then I realized it had Google past it all over the side.
And I twigged that was the Google map car driving around
scanning in my street ready for one of their invasive maps see I wish I'd known they were gonna do these Google Maps up front cuz I'd have gone in my back garden and made a big sign like help I'm trapped here or something like that now there's gonna be a picture like my house is gonna have me and a net curtain doing my nimby face
Yeah, but you can't see the sides of the houses, can you?
Yeah, there's the new one where you go down the streets.
As if you are a car in the middle of the street.
They already do it for Manhattan and places like that.
So you can actually travel down the street.
It's incredible.
It is like Grand Theft Auto, isn't it?
Coming to life.
With a bit of Blade Runner thrown in.
Especially where I live.
It's like a very pathetic version of Grand Theft Auto with Joe looking out of the window and making an annoyed face.
Grand neighbor nosy.
So listen, man, when are you back?
You're not even back next week, are you?
I'm still here next week, apparently.
And what have you got lined up for this week?
Anything exciting?
Any parties?
Do you go to any parties?
You're not Mr. Parties, really, are you, Joe?
You're talking to me?
No, not really.
Not really.
Uh, even though I had dinner tonight with our friend, the producer, Nigel Godrich, and he promised to get me to some parties.
Good little name-chop, lovely name-chop.
Thanks.
Well, it's just Fred, we all know him.
Yeah, Godrich will get you into the biggest parties in the world.
He said there's something happening every night.
There is, and he's at it.
And he's at it.
Yeah.
Will he hook you into the scene, Adam?
Absolutely, he's the man to know, I tell you.
But listen, tell us all about it next week.
We'll phone you up again, okay?
Guess who was on the plane with me on the way over?
Not Russell Brand again.
Nick Cave.
Nick Cave?
Yeah, that's pretty good, isn't it?
Did you say hello to him?
I was queuing down the snake thing to board the plane.
Yeah.
And from behind me, I heard, uh, excuse me, excuse me, stand aside, please, excuse me.
And it was, uh, it was, uh, airplane assistants ushering cave past the proles.
Was he in a wheelchair?
No, he was, he was fine.
He clearly dyed his mustache and his hair.
To look old.
To look young.
Oh, I thought, you know, I thought he was going for kind of help me.
No, he was trying to look younger.
Did he travel on that electric car that goes beep, beep, beep?
No, but he shoved past everybody.
And to be honest, I know cave is a hero and a,
and a genius, but I thought he would want to be down with the people.
That must be too embarrassing.
I'd be too embarrassed to be ushered past on that bit of the plane.
He looked happy about it.
Of course.
Why wouldn't he be?
Sitting in his big chair, he had his laptop open and he appeared to be writing poetry.
That's exactly what he was doing.
And that's what you have to do.
Well, you know, once you pass a certain age, he's over 50 now.
Pushing past the people.
That's what I would have written.
Then you have to, you know, you have to be pampered in order to make your art come out.
That was very well put.
Then I saw him watching Fool's Gold three times and laughing his head off.
Well, there you go.
I've taken him to my heart then.
He's genius.
I always suspected as much.
Joe Mann, thanks a lot.
Nice to talk to you.
Hey, thank you for having me, and thank you very much, Garth, for filling in so brilliantly.
Oh, bless you, Joe.
I'm enjoying myself.
Cheerio man, bye.
Bye.
Now Garth, here's a bit of a free choice for you right now.
What have you chosen for it?
I've chosen Razzmatazz by Pulp and I'll tell you why after we played it.
Razzmatazz by Pulp as chosen by Garth this week?
Yeah, that was one of my free plays.
I chose that because that was, I remember hearing that years and years ago on the John Peel Festive 50.
Oh yeah.
I used to tape that every year.
Right.
And that was my favourite.
And it was only then that I realised that that tall guy that was serving coffee in our art school
uh, coffee bar, uh, was Jarvis.
Wow.
And he was, he used to, Jarvis Cocker used to help out the, um, the guy that ran the little coffee bar and he'd come in and he'd be very tall and thin and serve us nice little coffees.
Where was that at St Martin's?
St Martin's.
Right.
And, and of course Common People was all about, you know, his... So when was that?
What year was that?
Oh, I'd have been there, uh, early 90s.
And did he used to do little funny quips and amusing moves while he was serving the coffee?
He'd say, you go, he'd go, uh, come have a coffee, but he'd go, alright.
No, not really.
No, he didn't do that.
He didn't, he was always, he was always very nice.
Of course, years later we ended up actually making videos for Pulp.
Right.
So it was all rather nice, really.
Which ones did you make?
We did Help Me Aged, which was the pitch which was A Stairlift to Heaven, which was in the style of Powell and Pressburg kind of movies.
And then Little Soul.
Oh, yeah, Little Soul, which I love that song.
I love both of those.
In fact, that whole album, this is hardcore, it's brilliant.
And, um... Is he back in the UK now, Joff, or is he still out in Paris?
I don't know.
I'm not in touch with him in terms of, we're not so like buddies or anything, but... What?
I wish I was, because he's brilliant.
He's the real deal, but, uh, no, I, um, I don't know, he moved there, didn't he?
I am not Jesus, but I have the same initials.
I like that.
I'm the man who stays home and does the dishes.
Sorry if you're listening.
More Jarvis, please.
Okay, now listen, we are going to announce the winner of Song Wars, which we should have done now.
In the last dabber, we had Joe Cornish business to attend to.
And yes, that's coming up in the next half an hour at some point.
But right now, here's more music.
Here's the Happy Mondays with Loose Fit.
Joe is away from the show But Joe is the one that you know He's unreliable And yet so appealing I'm not Joe I am Garth, I am standing in for Joe I hope you don't mind if you feel that's tough
There you go, that's the Kings of Leon with sex on fire, which is dangerous and not recommended at all by the big British castle.
It's just showing off really.
Sex on fire, like the whole of you on fire or... Just the necessary parts.
Really?
That would be terrible.
I mean, maybe if it's a burning sensation that he's experiencing, it might be something else that he needs to- He might need to take a fizzy drink for that.
He needs to see a doctor.
Yes.
Uh, if that's the problem.
Please patter on fire.
Uh, this is, uh, Adam and Garth.
Yeah, hello.
BBC Six music.
It doesn't sound right saying Garth.
Does it?
It sounds- Joe just flows perfectly.
Adam and Joe.
Adam and Garth.
Sorry about that.
Anyway, I'm still here.
Sounds fine.
Have you seen around town the posters for Bangkok Dangerous?
Yeah, they look like a straight-to-video film.
It's unbelievable.
That's got to be one of the worst posters ever made.
Well, a while back on this show, we were talking about incredibly bad Photoshop jobs on posters.
There was a romantic comedy that came out last year with Uma Thurman in it.
I forget the name.
Oh, not when she was a superwoman.
No, no, no, not my super ex-girlfriend.
It was another one, and there were two men.
Stanley looked very much like the Bridget Jones poster.
Oh, I know, yes, I don't know the name of it, but I know the one you mean.
I couldn't tell you the name of the film, I couldn't tell you the name of any of the actors apart from Thurman, but it was one of the most atrocious photoshopped jobs I've ever seen on a poster, like, the resolution, do you know what I mean?
Yes.
Of each element was completely out of whack.
And they hadn't even bothered to deal with it.
They just sort of thought, well,
Oh no one cares.
All we need to do is tell people it's a romantic comedy and some lonely women will go out and buy it on DVD.
I always like it on posters when the guy comes to sort of stick it up on a big billboard and he's got the measurements wrong and so he has to overlap the mouth with the eyes.
Do you know what I mean?
When you get that sort of like...
Like a gurning face, where this very pretty woman normally has had her mouth pushed right up under her nose, really close.
I always like that.
It is a fun thing to do.
Pet love there.
You can do it yourself.
And another fun thing to do is to, um, you know, get a large picture of someone in a magazine or whatever and stick your tongue through where their mouth is at the back, it like, through the back of the picture.
So their tongue comes through the picture and it's funny.
I'm a little bit worried about you.
But no, Bangkok Dangerous is now in the- Again, I said come on again, sorry man.
I keep using stupid radio words.
Can't I have your phrases, you know?
Oh dear.
That's like George Lamb, he's got his bouyaka sha or whatever he says.
What does he say?
Shaba.
You know, he probably kicks himself a little bit after each shaba.
I wouldn't worry about it, just relax man.
Okay, I'm relaxed.
Excuse me, I've got some, some French people in my mouth.
Okay, get them out.
But yes Bangkok dangerous right you know what I'm talking about it looks as if Presumably you're supposed to think he's reaching into his leather jacket to get a pistol out to shoot some men Right yeah, but it's weird.
It looks as if his hands just disappeared or something
Yeah, but that's because they- they photograph the actor on the set.
Yeah.
Because they only get- they're only allowed a couple of hours with the actor to photograph them.
And then later when they're making the post, they're going, oh, I wish we had him from that angle.
So they get an actor, or a body double in, photograph them in the position they want, and then they try and slap the head on top.
And I remember them doing this with hitchhikers.
Um...
with the- that was the first film I made was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
When they were making the posters, they had to sort of glue John Malkovich's head onto someone else's body.
It never worked.
Right.
Absolutely ridiculous.
He was even little wrong.
Mm-hmm.
But they sort of- you go- you can imagine them in the meetings going, eh, it doesn't matter.
It's fine.
But this is in a world where they're spending more on the advertising and the publicity than the actual film, isn't it?
Yeah, but they don't worry about things like that.
What do they worry about there?
I don't know.
What are they paying the money for?
To fly like Brad Pitt first class to do his junkets?
Yeah, they love it.
They love the junkets.
Junkets where it's at.
Well, I think they should concentrate a little more on the posters.
What is Bangkok dangerous even about though?
Do you know anything about it?
I have no idea, but it just looks like one of those ones that sold next to the really weird foreign sweets in my local corner shop.
Yeah.
I mean, why would you go and see that?
Well, it's a hit, apparently.
People have gone to see it.
No.
I think so.
And Nick Cage is not even any guarantor of kind of quality these days.
He's had a string of pretty unwatchable films.
What was the one where we- Well, I just saw National Treasure 2 on the plane.
And as you had the sound out, but I remember one of the bits in it was, um, uh, he has to find the secret to something from a desk.
Yeah.
And by opening the drawers of the desk at different angles, it reveals the secret.
I was thinking, God, they're really, really scratching here.
I thought that was quite exciting.
That was rubbish.
Absolutely rubbish.
Hey, wait a minute.
If we open the drawers, in a certain way it reveals a code.
Mystery desk.
Exciting desk.
What will the draw reveal?
That's what the theme should have been.
Yeah, you could have done a good one for that.
Mystery desk.
What in the desk?
What inside the drawer?
Another drawer has popped out.
Mystery desk.
You know, it needs a bit of work.
But Bangkok Dangerous, you know, I assume it's just about like a guy, I imagine it was maybe a guy wandering around and he's a tourist in Bangkok maybe for the first time.
He's just going up to people and saying, what's Bangkok like?
And someone says, oh, I think you'll enjoy Bangkok.
Bangkok, nice.
And then he goes up to someone else and goes, what is Bangkok like?
Oh, Bangkok's OK, but Bangkok, you know, you've got to be careful.
Bangkok Dangerous.
Is it like that?
I don't think so.
That was a good accent I did there as well.
It was very realistic.
That's the actual accent they have in Bangkok.
Now folks, I've got a free choice for you right now and after this one we are going to announce the winner of Song Wars and this track is by Donna Summer.
Do you like a little slice of summer?
We need a bit of summer.
Like summer.
Yeah.
You could probably fire this one off, actually, James, producer James this week.
And this is a kind of... I mean, this is a real... I'm trying to think of the right words for it.
It's a real epic.
Well, she did a couple of epics because I feel love was an epic.
Well, I'll let her get on with it.
It's time for song wars.
The war of the songs.
A couple of tunes by a couple of prongs.
Which will you vote for?
Which one is the best?
We're putting our songs to the listener test.
So check it out.
Yep, and of course last week we unveiled our songs about the Credit Crunch.
I say songs.
I had one half-finished thing that was kind of a... it sounded like it was from a musical or something.
But that was my favourite.
And a lot of people have written in about that one saying they loved it.
Right, and then, well, that's nice, and I actually finished it this week, so if I win, I'll play the whole of that one, because in the end, I panicked last week, I didn't, I knew there was no way I was gonna finish the other one.
So I went and did a kind of radio head rip-off with the robot voice on it, you know, and Garth.
Yeah, but I made a shocker, because mine wasn't even about the credit crunch as much, I just kept singing stupid things that somehow loosely tied to it, and it was annoyingly, um, it stuck in people's heads.
Well, let's announce the winner now, you have the envelope.
I've got a bit of paper, I don't actually know.
Oh, I've won.
You've won.
I've won by 68%.
Well, it was the better song, it has to be said.
There's a lot of people going to be upset about this.
Well, listen.
I'd like to hear your one.
Maybe I'll play it later on in the show.
But right now, let's hear.
You really want to play mine?
Yeah, we've got to.
You've won.
Oh, no.
It's the way Song Wars works.
This is Garth's Credit Crunch song.
If this song was a bank It would fold to be frank And this tune was a man He would sleep in a van If this beat was a check
The monkey could do better It's just my credit crunchy song This is my credit crunchy song If this bus was a bus
care what they say that was
That was my credit crunchy song.
So you're not exactly dealing with many of the important issues involved with the crunch there.
I just realised that's pretty much how I've lived my life.
You know, sort of go, I don't really want to deal with that.
I'll do this instead and hope nobody notices.
It's pretty much how I got through school.
right i can't do that very well i'm gonna do this hopefully if i if it's irritating enough no one will notice the stuff i've missed i like that song though that is a good song i mean the better song one and that's what song was is about no it's not it's actually about the i think i want to hear your one again but we're going to play your one later aren't we
Yeah, maybe I'll play that one later on if we have time.
Congratulations, Garth.
Two song wars that you've been involved with, twice you have won.
I've been involved with three.
Yeah, but the first one was... Beat me.
Yeah, but you hadn't... That was not an original track.
That was an Elton John cover.
That's true.
With your original compositions, you are unbeaten.
That's right.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Next week, we have decided that... Why don't you explain what we're going to do next week?
Well, Radiohead are just releasing Reckoner from their In Rainbows album.
And to go along with that, they're also releasing it as pieces of the song.
So you can actually take these pieces and do your own remix of it.
And it's quite simple actually, you just press a button and it all downloads into your computer.
So instead of doing song wars like we normally do, which is to write something and then about some crazy topic,
we're gonna do our own remixes of Radiohead's Reckoner.
Yeah, good idea.
I mean, they did the same thing with Nude as well, didn't they?
They did, yes.
Did you ever go on their website and listen to some of the things that- Yeah, there was a brilliant one where one man had used sort of tape players and CD machines and even sort of like picture scanners.
Right.
And he'd somehow orchestrated all these objects to play the track.
It was incredible.
Check it out.
Did he even use any of the elements that they provided?
Yes, he'd somehow put Tom's voice onto some weird little disc, floppy disc thing that was spinning around.
It's very, very strange.
It's like a sort of modern day Heath Robinson way of making music.
It's very, very clever.
Ah.
Yeah.
They've got very creative fans though, don't they, that mighty heat.
So that's what we're going to do is have a go at our own Reckoner remix next week for Song Wars.
Yep.
We're going to go crazy all over the arse of that.
I'm telling you right now and let's see we're gonna play a little bit of music before the news and in the next half hour I think we shall launch text the nation the nation's favorite feature but first here are the last shadow puppets that's the last shadow puppets with my mistakes were made for you well done the last shadow puppets congratulations what a wonderful year they've had I'm turning to Jules Holland
You've just got to say ladies and gentlemen a bit more.
Ladies and gentlemen, over here we have the last shadow puppets, wonderful band, absolutely staggering musicians.
I'm going to do a little awkward interview with one of them right now.
So what do you find Mr Alex Turner that it is like playing music?
Okay.
Where do you get your ideas for songs?
That's not fair.
I mean, Jules, he's a national treasure.
He's a national treasure.
He's a boogie woogie genius and a national treasure and the compare of one of the most legendary music shows of all time.
It's funny though, I went to a recording of one of those shows and it's a near-death experience for the audience because they have all these cameras swinging around on cranes.
Right.
And I was constantly, they're going...
Over your head.
And you could dance it on the telly, but everyone is ducking all the time.
Like an air show.
Watch out for the rock and roll cranes.
Yeah, look out!
That'd be a good name for a band, wouldn't it?
Rock and roll cranes?
Maybe not.
No.
It's time for the news right now, ladies and gentlemen, at Just Gone 1030.
Text the nation.
Text, text, text, text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
We got a lot of jingles on this show.
We jingled up to the... I mean, eventually the jingles will just spread all over the show.
It'll just be non-stop jingles and there won't be any actual talking or music.
We've got even more jingles in the next few hours as well.
Yeah, I've got a lot of jingles, you know.
A lot of jingles.
Uh, now, text The Nation this week.
It's The Nation's favourite feature.
It's the part of the show where we talk about a thing, and you text or email us with your thoughts upon the thing.
Do you understand, Garth?
I don't understand.
Okay, listen, I'll explain it to you later on in more detail.
But let me carry on right now with Text-to-Nation's subject this week, which is ideas that might make the world a better place.
And I think it's probably something that a lot of people are talking about this week because of the fact that Google have offered a ten million dollar prize fund for ideas that will change the world as part of their tenth birthday celebrations, right?
Are you aware of Google?
Yeah, but are they giving you ten million dollars if you just come up with a good idea?
No.
I imagine that they are putting ten million dollars into a big prize pool in order to back the development of any winning ideas.
Dragon's Den style.
Exactly.
Right.
The entries have to be in by October the 20th and, you know, you go on to Google and you can find out all about it if you would like to submit your ideas there.
But another option would be to submit your ideas to us.
For this show don't worry about the prize money, you know, we've got a big prize pool of over 50p In order to develop some of the winning ideas But I was I thought maybe it would be a good idea because I saw a news report this week about this story I think it was on on BBC News and they had a little girl they'd interviewed a load of children about what their ideas would be and
to make the world a better place, and all of them were sort of sweet and nice, you know, smile a bit more, be polite, that kind of thing.
But there was this one quite precocious little girl, it must have been about six or seven, and she was saying, in order to save water and energy, I think people should stop singing in the shower so they don't need to spend so long in there.
Nice.
Yeah, thanks.
That's the kind of kid you want in your house.
Thanks very much.
I wonder if she came up with the idea herself or maybe her parents fed it to her.
Yeah.
Because I get that a lot.
I think the kids are picking up stuff at school as well because everyone's so conscious of doing sort of the wrong thing.
Yeah.
I noticed my son the other day when we were walking along the street there was a man smoking.
He said, look at that bad man smoking.
Yeah.
He doesn't actually talk like that, but he was sort of saying, you know, as terrible, and I was sort of very embarrassed because the man could hear and I was sort of having to say, oh no, it's okay, people can smoke, it's not good for you, but it's okay, it's absolutely fine that you smoke, yes.
Right, it's a personal choice.
In a way, everyone's free to do what they want, despite what they might be indoctrinating you, uh, to think at school.
I know it is weird, you get all kinds of stuff like that, and the, you get religious things and all sorts of, uh, bits and pieces coming back via your children.
you know, whether you are a believer or not, they come back and they're telling you all kinds of stuff.
And you're like, wow, you're quite a different person now.
In some ways, of course, they're not different people.
They're just sort of saying stuff that they've been taught.
But so ideas for making the world a better place.
I went, I mean, it's a fun thing to do, right?
This is something that newspapers and magazines do from time to time just to amuse themselves.
It's like doing top 100 best album lists.
Yeah, just stuff you want to chip away at, make it improve life a little bit.
Yeah.
I mean, Dave Gorman, of course, has honed the notion into a brilliant show, Genius, on Radio 4.
Have you ever listened to that?
No.
Great program, and it's being made into a TV series as well, I think.
Later this year, that's going to come out.
And he more or less does the same sort of thing, asks people for ideas that they think are genius, and they come up with things like, some guy thought about perforated bread,
It was fed up with the fact that you, um, you know, slicing bread is such an inexact thing.
So he was saying if bread had like regular, regular perforated, yeah, you could rip it off to the, uh, desired thickness.
That's a great idea.
Yeah, it's a great program.
You should check it out.
Um, if you haven't heard it before, you can buy a CD of it, I think.
Anyway, that's Dave Gorman, but there's all sorts of other people thinking of ideas for making the world a better place.
And online, I sort of stumbled across this site called the experientialist.
The experientialist?
How would you say that?
Yeah, the experientialist, I think.
And their mission statement reads as follows.
Our planet Earth is beset by a multitude of problems ranging from the environmental to the political, from the social to the economic, from the humanitarian to the moral.
We are trying to help the world come up with real solutions, in capitals, to our world's problems.
All this is in capitals.
We are trying to gather good ideas from people all over the world on what we can do to help solve the world's problems.
So get involved and submit your ideas below.
No longer in capitals, Best Idea wins $500.
So this is a site dedicated to trying to find good ideas, and they're actually shelling out, you know, a reasonable little prize pot there, $500.
I don't know how long the site's been going.
It's, you know, frustratingly free of actual details of who runs it and why they run it and stuff.
But a few of the ideas that people have come up with are listed on there, and I will read a couple of them out in just a second.
After the ting tings with Be The One, the ting tings with Be The One,
Adam and Garth here on BBC Six Music.
Garth Jennings is our buddy and he's filling in for Joe while he's off in Los Angeles.
And we're very pleased to have you here Garth.
Thanks Adam.
I like being here.
It gets me out of the house, you know, three hours on a Saturday morning.
Exactly.
Do I have to do the washing up?
Just drink a lot of coffee here, though.
That's the only trouble.
Right.
Getting a bit dizzy.
Are you?
Yeah, getting a bit freaked out.
Well, you can't stop now, otherwise you'll get a massive headache.
No, I've got to keep going.
You've got to keep pushing through it.
Keep going until you pop.
Until your heart just pops out of your chest.
like that video for Niles Barkley.
Have you seen that one?
Who's going to save your soul?
No.
Go on to YouTube and have a look at Niles Barkley.
Who's going to save your soul?
I recommend it.
And it's quite an extraordinary piece of work by the director, Chris Milk.
Oh, yes.
Anyway, that's by the by.
We are in the midst of Text the Nation.
We're asking for your ideas to make the world a better place.
I've already told you about the idea of one young girl who said, spend less time in the shower singing, or rather she said, don't sing in the shower, because it'll make your showering experience a little more, a little shorter, you know, and then you won't be wasting money on energy and water and that kind of thing.
basically by not enjoying yourselves will do things quicker and use less energy it's a brilliant idea and um... hard to more misery hard to fault bigger savings exactly big savings uh... here are some of the ideas that i found from the experientialist website for making the world a better place someone lays out a seven point yeah seven point multi-pronged approach and a lot of these are anonymous which also makes the site a little bit creepy uh... multi-pronged approach number one
We don't use oil anymore for travelling about, but we use electricity or sun energy.
Well, yeah, that's good.
That's good, yeah.
Number two, we don't need politicians to decide for us.
We need them to count all our voting.
I mean to say, if we decide something, people must all vote for it.
That's brilliant.
Do you understand that?
No.
We don't need politicians to decide for us.
We need to... We need them to count all our voting.
Is this the same girl that had a problem with people singing in the shower right now?
No, this is someone else writing on this website.
Okay.
Point three.
Destroy all weapons on Earth.
With a big weapon.
That would do it, wouldn't it?
A giant weapon-destroying weapon.
I mean, these are all good ideas.
I don't mean to, like, ridicule them, because destroy all weapons on Earth.
You can't really argue with that, can you?
That's a good idea.
I mean, they'd make more.
You could just use a stick.
You could pretty much use anything as a weapon, so I don't know where you'd stop there.
Point four.
On school, she says, or he says, on school, we also learn to accept each other and be nice to each other.
Well, that's nice.
That's good.
I mean, that is another good idea they've got there.
This seven point plan is going very well, I think.
Point five.
Parents must learn how to be a good parent.
That's good.
How do we do that, though?
You know, this is the thing.
Aren't we just allowed to make a few mistakes?
They stop a lot of these ideas, and this is a common thing on the internet, when you search for ideas to make the world a better place.
You've got lots of ideas, not so many ideas for how to implement the plans.
But we're not interested in that.
We're just interested in the ideas.
That's what we want you to send in, text or email listeners.
Point number six on this seven point plan.
Every human being needs a collective kind of money.
This is a right.
We all get each month a certain amount of money and then we can decide who gets more by working so there'll be no more poor people anymore.
Did you understand any of that?
That sounds like a bit Russian.
It's a bit, yeah, it's a bit special.
Old school.
Point seven, finally.
There are no countries anymore.
We are the world.
Well that's what those pop songs would have us believe, yeah.
No countries.
It's a bit like it was before the dinosaurs when we were just one giant, huge slab of land.
It's a little bit we should play Imagine by John Lennon at this point, shouldn't we?
He's got lots of ideas to make it look better.
It wouldn't sound good after all this.
Here's another idea from someone else this is now after that disgraceful seven point plan which I read very badly.
Honesty and revealing the truth about aliens.
Tell everyone the truth about extraterrestrials and their presence here and why they're here via the world communication system simply by emailing for a start.
Furthermore honesty is required.
I can't think what's that?
Tell us about the aliens and just be honest.
Here's another one.
Environmental solution is the heading for this idea.
Build huge refrigerators to stop global warming.
That is insane.
I don't know if that's a serious suggestion, but all the rest of the suggestions on this particular website are serious, so I have to assume it is.
Your listeners are going to come up with much better stuff than that.
Yeah, I've got a few more examples that I'll read out to you later on, listeners, but I would like to hear how you would make the world a better place.
You can text 64046, or you can email your idea to adamandjoe.6music at bbc.co.uk.
Adamandjoe, and that's A-N-D rather than an ampersand, dot 6music at bbc.uk.
Get your ideas coming in.
No!
Now, Garth, we've got a free play in this
my free play and although this has nothing to do with him and it's by no means a song he even knows I'm gonna dedicate this to my dad because he's 64 today it's his 64th birthday didn't want to go for when I'm 64 by the beagle never liked that song to be honest with you excuse me I want to have out there with oh bloody oblodara's terms of annoying Beatles right okay but and I hadn't really thought of a birthday song for your dad but I didn't want you to have to sit through the whole show so so this is a song by Dory Previn it's called the girl with the braid
That's CSS with move.
You're listening to BBC Six Music.
I'm Adam Buxton.
And I'm Garth Jennings.
Welcome.
I'm not Joe.
Welcome.
It's a lovely Saturday morning.
The fog from earlier has burned off, which is always nice.
could wear your shorts, it's fine.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, it's a shorts day.
You reckon it's a shorts day?
It would be fine, I'd wear your shorts.
If you're in two minds, just go with the shorts, you're going to be alright.
You know, I find it very difficult once that time of year has ended, you know, when it's definitely short season, that's fine.
But then sometime around about, you know, early September, late August, maybe things go wrong with the weather and you have to put your shorts away and you start wearing jeans again.
I'm not saying wear flip-flops or anything like that but shorts you'll be fine today.
I'm saying I can't just switch around what jeans one day shorts the next.
It's not gonna happen.
It's gonna throw it for you.
It's not gonna happen.
I'll tell you another thing I'm worried about right is my hair at the moment because I shaved off my beard the other day.
You look like a baby face Buxton today.
Yeah and it's when you've got a beard you can let your hair get a little more shaggy right because you just think well I'm a shaggy man now I'm like a monkey man.
It doesn't matter, I'm just gonna let all my hairs hang out and won't go to the barber and nothing really matters anymore.
You know, your personal appearance you don't have to worry about.
It's one of the nice things about having a beard is you just don't have to worry.
You don't have to look at your stupid face in the mirror every morning and shave and all that kind of stuff.
Just roll out of bed, go through some garbage cans,
See, I've always wanted to have a beard.
My dad has a brilliant beard, like a proper Father Christmas style.
I can only grow hair in a circle around my mouth.
Ooh, that's not very nice.
It's rubbish.
It's like a really crappy goatee.
I swear, look at my face.
I've never had to shave my cheeks.
Right, right.
And it just grows around the mouth in a sort of, like, bizarre crop circle.
It's awful.
It looks like I've got a sort of dark grey rash.
Like a kind of coffee Yeah, like I've you know when you suck a glass to your face and it leaves a ring It's a bit like that with a dirty glass And I really especially being a film director you need a beard for people to take you seriously You need a beard so you can scratch it and go might think we should do that again.
Maybe a little quicker You know all the greats beards, you know, you can draw one on
I could get the makeup department to slap a bit of fur on.
People would respect that.
Your crew would respect that because they would think, he's mental.
He must be really creative.
He's hated a beard on his own face.
He must be a genius.
You know, you should definitely, someone should do that.
I bet there's some director out there now.
Like a kind of Fred Flintstone, just a sort of grey area.
Yeah, or just with a black marker.
Oh, actual little lines.
Now just like a solid thing, just draw it on.
You could do it with gaffer tape if you don't want to commit to the actual, you know, marker.
I think it's a very good idea.
Anyway, I've shaved my beard off.
I don't know why, I just woke up one morning and thought, you know, I can't hide all my life behind this beard.
I've got to see what my stupid face looks like again.
So there it was.
But then, unfortunately, the whole, uh, back of my head, my hair, is now all long.
And I've got kind of a shaggy 80s Lady Diana style hairstyle going on now.
Which needs a bit of a trim, right?
I like it.
But I'm at that stage, um, because everyone's got short hair, right?
You watch Prison Break, where every single character in that show has got like a buzz cut.
You're talking about a prison show, though?
Yeah, I know, but... You're just watching... Don't watch prison shows!
Well, that is one way of approaching... Either they've got very short hair or long ponytails.
You need to branch out.
The baddies have ponytails.
This is the thing.
The baddies have ponytails.
People with long hair are either... Are evil.
They're evil.
They're creeps, or they're sort of like fashion terrorists, like you've got in Die Hard, you know?
That's true.
All the German guys with their suits and their long hair, and we're going to blobs and I can tell me tower.
and they're creeps.
But you could go big Lebowski style where it's just, it's just mellow hair.
He's got his beard.
He's got the beard.
You can't, you can't, you know, otherwise it's too creepy and I need, I need to go and get a hair.
But the problem is that I'm, I've reached the stage now where my face is letting me down all over the area.
It's just a kind of puddingy lump and
I can't really get away with a lot of hair.
Like, I couldn't get away with the prison break buzz cut, for example.
There's no question.
Why not?
Because it would look insane.
I would just look like a great big suet pudding.
No, you wouldn't.
You could do a buzz cut.
Just do it.
It grows back anyway.
I know.
Do it for next show.
Get it on the webcam.
People can text in if they like your face.
But then I've got to live with it for six months.
Every morning I've got to wake up and go... No, three months.
The way you grow hair is ridiculous.
Your beard grows overnight.
Yeah.
Literally, you can see it growing now.
You can hear it if you listen very carefully given the creak.
Adam's face growing.
What I wish, my fantasy is that like a stylist that listens to this show would say, I'm going to come in and I'm going to style you during the show one day and give you a major.
It's because DJs do that a lot.
They talk about things they really want.
Right.
Hoping that someone will send a box of it.
Yeah.
But I've never heard anyone ask, you know, sort of indirectly for a styling.
I think it would be nice to have a makeover, you know, it's really important, because Trini and Susannah, they tend to ignore kind of white middle class people of a certain age, they go for all kinds of other shaped people, but people like me, kind of slightly lardy middle aged people.
You're not lardy?
Yeah, that's nice of you, but you know what I mean, we get overlooked, so I want some, I want a makeover.
He wouldn't be touched by Trini and Susanna.
They're a bit too forward for my liking.
I wouldn't want them.
I don't know.
I wouldn't mind.
Who's the spindly one?
The spindly one?
Yeah, I like her.
Oh, dear.
She's nice.
I just feel I can't say what I really think on the radio.
No, you probably can't.
Let's play some more music now and we have to... We've got so much to pack in still!
We're gonna ram this hour, surely.
Wow, we've got some exciting stuff for you after this track.
This is Pump It Up by Elvis Costello in session.
Elvis Costello and the Attractions recorded live for the John Peel Show on Radio 113th of March 1978.
Oh my lordy, that was a long time ago.
Oh, a 6.
78.
What was that like?
Thirty years ago now?
Oh my goodness.
Pump It Up, of course, was the track, and that sounded amazing.
Right, we are in the midst of Text-o-Nation now.
Should we have the little Text-o-Nation jingle there, James, if you've got it at your fingertips?
Text-o-Nation!
Text!
Text-o-Nation!
What if I don't want to?
Text-o-Nation!
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter!
Text!
Thanks very much, and we are asking you to submit ideas for making the world a better place.
They don't necessarily have to be serious.
They can be fairly ludicrous, as some of them are, that we are receiving already.
But here are just a couple that we've got so far.
Candice says, or Candice says, run an extensive program to teach dogs and cats how to talk, drive, shop and take holidays.
That's... Is that good though?
How would that make the world an actually better place?
That would just overcrowd the market, wouldn't it?
Yeah, I suppose so.
I've always thought squirrels were getting a little bit too cocky these days, and that they could be put to use.
They look like they want a job now, they're so familiar with people in parks.
They've got no fear, have they?
No fear, they come right up to you, and they're almost saying, God, any nuts?
You go, no, no, all right.
It's very much like that.
I think you could do something with squirrels, that's for sure.
Well, you should maybe deprogram them, is what the squirrels need.
I think they need to rejoin the, uh, fearful animal community.
I wish they would, because I don't like the cocky- cocky squirrel.
No one likes a cocky squirrel.
Uh, here's another idea from George from Petersfield.
Perhaps once a week, everyone should go and have a nice cup of tea, or a sherry, with an old person.
It would cheer the old folk up, and us youngsters could hear some good war stories.
You know, that's actually brilliant.
That is a good idea.
That's a brilliant idea.
I think it would make everyone a bit more cheerful, says George.
Old people are good fun, he adds at the end there.
I don't think you can argue with any of that, George.
That is a good idea.
I've got one that's a bit like that from James Heale.
It's sort of about being told stories.
It's James suggesting that the news is read by Stephen Fry or somebody with a very nice, comforting, warm and friendly voice.
Yeah.
I met this very famous man called Oliver Postgate who came up with the Clangers and Noggin and Noggin, all these kinds of things.
engine I've all the engine bagpuss he his voice if he were to read the news it would it would make the world feel better well am I right in saying that you were going to use his voice as the voice of the book in the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy yes we'd done some tests with him it didn't work out in the end but he was absolutely brilliant he's got one of those voices that just makes everything sound good
Yeah, it's one of the world's most comforting voices.
You're right though, Stephen Fry is a close second.
Yes, absolutely.
Here's an idea from the worryingly named Mark Killing.
He is doing the housework in North Shields.
He says, Mark Killing.
Is his name re- is surname really killing?
I mean, that's a problematic surname, isn't it?
Maybe he's just like, he's made that up for the- Mark killing.
So we'd read it out.
I mean, it is quite a good name.
Killing.
Mark killing.
Um, what do you do?
Mainly killing.
Um, would be good to be announced at an airport.
Mark says-
The killing.
No, that would be bad at an airport.
Mark says, use more wave machines.
Get everyone to jump up and down in the sea and make waves.
It makes sense, he puts in capitals.
But that's a couple of ideas, though.
I mean, use more wave machines is one thing, but then he's advocating people just jumping up and down in the sea and making waves.
Well, isn't there a dance floor in a club in Holland where the more the people dance on the floor, the more electricity gets generated?
No.
Yeah, absolutely.
Someone was telling me about this yesterday.
The, the, the, the, the, the, a lot of the electricity and the lights under the floor are generated by how many, how, how much dancing has got, how much pressure people are putting on the floor with their feet.
And of course if they reach maximum, you know, velocity.
The place explodes.
Goes green.
It goes green.
Yeah.
Green lights.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
That's true, yeah.
And if you get a really duff DJ, there's just a power cut.
Yeah, it just goes... Everyone has to go.
Candles are passed around.
That's a genius idea.
Okay, here's one from Emma.
Dear Adam and Garth, I think all the world leaders should get together with some good wine and some nice cheese.
They would solve all the world's problems.
Just like that.
Love you, bye!
Says Emma.
Cheese.
Thanks very much, Emma.
I mean, that is a good idea.
That's basically, you can't argue with that kind of logic, you know what I mean?
A bit nicer manners.
Just be a bit more civilized.
Poor scorn over John Lennon's whole body for writing Imagine.
In certain quarters they did, you know?
I think it's a lovely song, but certain people go,
Oh, it's John Lennon's worst song.
It was the worst song he ever wrote, you know, Imagine Rubbish.
You know, I just think, no, because they're putting it into the category of Ebony and Ivory, which really is awful.
Yeah.
But I think Imagine's brilliant.
Imagine's amazing.
It's amazing.
It's where he got it right and the other guy got it wrong with Ebony and Ivory.
You know, at the end of The Killing Fields, um, suddenly Imagine kicks in on the soundtrack.
Well, it starts off diegetic, and then it goes non-diegetic, i.e.
it's being played on a little radio in a car or something, and then suddenly it goes all cinemascope.
And it is a moment where you do feel quite grotesquely manipulated.
Do you know what I mean?
But at the same time, you submit to the power of Imagine.
I mean, that's a lovely song.
Here is one more very good idea, just before we play a bit more music.
And this one is from Lewis.
and Lewis is from Ilfricoom and he says that he actually submitted this idea to Dave Gorman's show Genius and they liked it enough to feature it but the only problem was that he says I had to schlep up to London to pitch the idea in person on the show and I couldn't be bothered.
Wow!
Nilfriku, he says it's only a four-hour drive, isn't it?
He couldn't be bothered.
Get the train from Barnes to Paul, you'll be there, don't you?
So he waded up.
Eh, Dave Gorman.
Anyway, we are the beneficiaries of Lewis's incredible laziness.
He sent us the idea.
He says, sandwich a layer of liquid crystals in the middle of a windscreen, a car windscreen, that is, and wire this to the burglar alarm so that a stolen car displays the word stolen in black letters that fill the screen.
This not only makes the car hard to drive, it virtually guarantees that every policeman will flag you down.
The advantage of this over an audible alarm is that it doesn't require as much or any energy to maintain, so it won't run down your battery and therefore it doesn't need time out after a minute or so.
Also, it won't annoy your neighbours if it goes off accidentally in the middle of the night.
In fact, the only person at inconveniences is the thief.
It's genuinely genius.
That is a good- I mean, what are the disadvantages of that, is that you would accidentally set it off yourself.
Oh, that'd be embarrassing.
And then you could, like, you can't go to those shops, because people think they've stolen it.
Right, and the cops would be flagging you down, you have to, nah, look, I guess you just carry around your licenses.
Yes, you just have to deal with it.
You only deal with a little cracked window or something like that.
But that is a brilliant idea.
Louis, there you go.
Louis Villazón.
You want to get out of Ilfa Cum and get that down to someone in London who's got a big checkbook.
Exactly, like Dave Corman.
Now, here is some more music for you, and it's the Kaiser Chiefs with Never Miss a Beat.
That's another one from the Kaiser Chiefs Hit Factory, the unstoppable musical juggernaut that is the Chiefs with Never Miss a Beat.
This is BBC Six music.
Now, Garth, I'm going to hand over to you to explain to the listeners what we're going to play them next.
Well, when you're listening to normal radio, analog radio, uh, well you're certainly in London, I get this thing when, um, I'll be listening to some nice little song, I don't know, Eva Cassidy will come on singing something like Over the Rainbow, and then suddenly a pirate radio station will come in and
And he'll go straight back to Eva Cassidy, as if nothing happened.
Do you think, was that just me?
And of course, with the digital radio, you don't get any of the joys of pirate radio interruptions.
And Adam and I were talking about this this week, and we were saying, it'd be nice to sort of give you the analog experience, you digital listeners.
So we've made some of our own pirate radio interruptions.
Actually, haven't you made some of your little examples?
Yeah, here's a couple, I've woven a couple of these into a track that we'll play later on, but let's see, play the first one, James, the cake one.
That's the kind of thing that you get, like, especially, um, in South London, you wonder, you know, you're driving across the bandwidths and the airwaves and stuff, and you get all those shows suddenly chiming in.
I love it.
I really like how, and it's always, you always come in at some stupid bit.
Yeah.
Like you said, like a nice bit.
Okay.
And, um, but, uh, because what they do, they're main, they're all unified.
A lot of these pirate stations by their bad mic technique, right?
Yeah.
They speak into it really close.
I go really, really close.
And they're like leaning
and presumably they've got a little crappy.
And they drop the music right down, so it'll be going... That sort of thing.
Have you ever listened to a pirate station like that for like any length of time?
Yeah, a few times when I was at art school.
Right.
But I was trying to get into something I couldn't get into.
I tried on those trousers, but they just didn't fit.
It's exhausting, isn't it?
The best way I would imagine, the best time to listen to a pirate station like that is when you're just driving around, I guess, right?
They're designed for...
uh, being played on incredibly over powerful stereos and annoying people at traffic.
But they do talk over a lot.
I mean, we get emails saying we talk too much, but at least we don't talk over the record.
They talk over the entire record.
Most of the time.
Yeah.
Hold tight, hold tight.
I did another one.
I was trying to imagine what, like, cause you get different types of stuff, then it's not always dance music and stuff, right?
You were talking about... Well, Nick, who I worked with, Nick Goldsmith, he was saying that he was driving through Golders Green and there was a Hasidic Jewish pirate radio station.
and what are they doing just talking or playing music and playing some nice records and talking over the top of it talking over the top of it yeah i'll try and find them i did one for like a a classical station that i thought would sound a little bit like this
you need to get a little stab at that and then you carry on with your Kaiser Chiefs.
But what I think what we've both done is take a nice song, a nice six music song, and then put our own digital, sorry, analogue interruptions into it.
And I think we'll play one in this half hour and one the next.
Yeah.
So what have you got?
Well, I've got a really nice song by Fleet Foxes called Mykonos.
Did I say that right?
And it is really nice, I'm sorry, I really like the song, but it's been butchered by the Pirate Radio Interruptions.
Shall we play that?
See what you think.
Yo we got a call here from Tiana, she says she's going out tonight and she's gonna be wearing some shoes.
Big shout out to me grandma.
Oh grandma!
Hold tight!
That's too tight!
There you go!
He knows in the snow-tied mind I find Hatching from the sea to your thin mind All night
You will get me wrong With a vision of a gentle call And I search to maybe dissipate She- She- She- She- She-
The cool cool cool the cool star how I wonder what you are up above that wall so high like a diamond in the sky Brother you don't need to turn me away I was waiting down at the ancient gate
One day all the people of the world will be free And we will all just dance together like a dealing matrix tune
Oh, thank God we had fun Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a big fall
There you go, that's my pirate radio interrupted version of Mykonos by Fleetfoxes.
Like, hold tight.
Hold tight.
That's my favorite one.
That's too tight!
Well, I stayed up quite late last night making those and I had the best time ever.
That's enjoyable, isn't it?
Oh, it's so much fun to do that.
We can pepper a few of those throughout the podcast as well.
Yeah, slap them in there.
You know, don't forget listeners, this show is available in filleted form as a podcast.
You can go and download it from the Six Music website or from iTunes or... Can they download it from the Six Music website?
They have to go to iTunes, don't they?
Yeah, they can go there.
So you can do what you want.
Hey, listen.
You can just relax.
You can even pretend you're downloading it.
You don't even have to download it.
You can just go up to a wall and draw like a picture of a computer on the wall and go, down like them podcasts.
Down like them podcasts.
Why would you do that?
But that's an option.
That's what I'm saying.
Just relax.
Do what you like.
Who sang that song?
Do what you like.
Oh, it'll come to me in a minute.
Give me a second.
It's one for the listeners.
Internet, we're just about to go to the news, but don't forget listeners, Text the Nation, which we're going to be wrapping up shortly, is about ideas for making the world a better place, and we'd love to hear yours.
Right now, it's just gone 11.30, and it's time for the news.
MGMT, are they still so hot right now?
I think so.
They're so hot right now.
That's kids.
And it's time now for us to wrap up Text the Nation.
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
We've been asking you for your ideas, some just sort of good ideas, I suppose, things that would make the world a better place in some way.
And before we read out a couple more of your ideas, here's a few that I found on the BBC's website.
This was about 2003.
They did something where they were asking people for ideas to improve the world.
And this was one from Chris Coombs in the UK.
Have you ever been to the UK, Garth?
I've heard it's great.
It's not as rubbish.
Okay.
Uh, Chris Coombs says,
that's a bitch i mean it's not exactly romantic is it it's not really going into it's practical so you could buy like a little chunk a little marriage chunk you know what i mean so depending on how much you like the person no you think that falls apart man because a minute minute you start you're aware of an end approaching i think he's gonna
That's not right!
You know, what it's useful for is people who've been married once before and got divorced and they still want to get married because some people love getting married, you know?
They just get a buzz, a sort of caffeine buzz out of the marriage bit and it trails off.
You go like, oh, how many times have you been married?
Been married four times?
You think, what's your problem, you lunatic?
You're not getting the message.
You're not making notes where I've gone wrong in previous marriages.
Oh, I've lost the notes again.
But, you know, it would be good if you're someone you just think, maybe I haven't found the right woman, I've been unlucky, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
But also you have that cautiousness that's been instilled after years of failing in your marriages.
You think, I'll just go for a short term contract, I'll hedge my bets a little bit.
and then we can always renew the option after a five-year period.
You know what?
That might help because then people's expectations are lower and they still think, well, I'm just going to enjoy myself and maybe that could lead to a longer one.
A renewal?
I mean, it's kind of completely against the entire idea of getting married and pledging yourself to one person for the rest of your life.
But on the other hand, it's practical.
So I think that's a good idea there from Chris Coombs.
And this is another idea that was on their website there.
This is from Lucy, also in the UK.
No, no, sorry.
I've lost it.
No, here we go.
Sorry, Amanda.
She says, End the working week with an informal office meeting on Friday afternoons.
Have drinks, nuts and crisps on hand.
Selected departments can make presentations on the work they do to encourage understanding and interactivity within the company.
Amanda.
That's exactly the kind of thing I would hate more than anything.
There's nothing worse than sort of having to hang out with the people you work with, isn't there?
People do that already though, don't they?
Yeah, and they hate it.
Crisps, nuts, and drinks on hand.
Amanda, Amanda, have you provided the crisps and the nuts and the drinks?
Chris, I've got drinks and crisps and three nuts but not enough nuts for the Friday meeting.
Would you like me to get more nuts?
Amanda, it's OK.
We don't need that many nuts because Charles doesn't like nuts.
Roseanne doesn't like nuts and Philip doesn't like nuts.
So there's only one person that does like nuts and three nuts is enough for them.
So we'll be fine.
Thanks, Amanda.
That's the way I imagine that, uh... I guess in that kind of office, it would be welcome.
Yeah.
You know, it's a nice idea, obviously, just to make the work environment a more fun place, but if it comes to that, that you have to engineer nuts, crisps and drinks afternoons, then I think you've got bigger fish to fry.
Have you got any ideas there from Oliver Sisko?
Rooney from Wood Green.
He's written in saying, it's not a world-saving thing, but he was saying houses should have central locking like cars.
This would make it easier to get in and also improve security as people wouldn't have to fumble around for keys at night.
Yeah, it's not practical, though, is it?
I mean, if you're a big, rich person, then you can have that.
You know, you press a button and all kinds of port colossus would come down and things would go droop and rock and make that noise.
Welcome, owner of house.
That's what I'd have.
Welcome back, Brad Pitt.
Hello.
Hello, Brad.
You look well.
Look at your new children.
They are beautiful.
Their house is unlocked for you now.
Angelina has cooked your tea.
Your new film was good.
It did really well, even if it did badly.
Thanks for your idea, though, Rooney.
That's a very good idea, The Runeter.
Do you mind if I call you The Runeter?
The Runatron, as I like to call it.
The Runeter.
Now, here's one from Nick McMillan in Abu Dhabi, where he listens to the show.
Have you ever been to Abu Dhabi, Garth?
No.
It's supposed to be a wonderful place.
Really?
Not allowed to do anything naughty there, drinking wise or anything like that, otherwise they'll do all kinds of things to you.
But if you behave yourself, you can have a wonderful time in Abu Dhabi.
Why do I think you're leading to some ludicrous joke?
I'm not.
I've just heard.
You look to me with your baby eyes.
It's a millionaire's playground and they do mad things.
They build underwater hotels and stuff like that.
Oh, that's right.
They've got one in the shape of... I think they've got islands that they've built in the shape of the planet Earth.
And an underwater hotel that you consider...
They do all this mad stuff and they do all this crazy fun stuff and they say, but you can't drink anything.
Otherwise we'll do things.
Don't touch that.
You can't have any fun.
Not that you, you know, you can only have fun by drinking.
Anyway, Nick McMillan says, Hi, I've got a good idea to make the world a better place.
Charcoal infused underpants for the smellier days.
The charcoal could also have a pine-fresh crystal, er, could also have pine-fresh crystals in it, releasing the smell of forests after summer rain, er, every time you let one go.
Well, I've always thought they should do that on aeroplane seats.
They should fill them with a kind of the seats with a deodoriser, because basically you're trapped in a tube with 400 people farting.
A big farty bucket.
It's horrible.
Yeah.
Once you know that, once you get that into your head, you can't breathe.
You turn blue.
Well, the terrible thing that people tell you, and this is a slightly revolting thing, but it's a quarter to 12 now, is at a certain point in your life people say to you, you know what farts are, right?
They're particles.
Yes.
And you think, oh, no, don't tell me that, because thereafter, especially if you walk through someone else's noxious gas zone, you just feel very unhappy about the whole thing.
Anyway, I'm sorry, that was rather unpleasant.
Sorry, everyone.
Thing to be chatting about there, but Nick, thank you very much for your idea.
Hope you're having a good time there in Abu Dhabi in the Millionaire's Playground.
Just behave yourself, all right?
Thank you very much to everyone who texted and emailed for text donation.
Sorry if we didn't read out your text anymore.
We read them all and we really appreciate them.
But thank you very much indeed for those.
We're going to play some music right now and afterwards I'm going to unveil my track that I've peppered with a few pirate interruptions.
But first, we've got a bit of classic David Bowie.
Here's Sound and Vision.
No point in arguing with that.
That's David Bowie with Sound and Vision.
I'm so ignorant.
I think I was talking about, I was imagining Dubai.
Dubai is the millionaire's playground place.
Yeah, Dubai is, yeah.
Whereabouts is Abu Dhabi then.
Abu Dhabi is not there.
It's not there.
It's nowhere, yeah.
No, I'm doing a George Bush.
I'm glad I know where that is.
Anyway, there we go.
Get my map out.
Anyway, now folks, we played earlier on Garth's Fleet Fox's track with the Pirate Interruptions.
We're going to play your track right now.
In fact, we're going to play Reckoner because we're going to do Song Wars remix of Reckoner next week, myself and Garth.
but here it is all messed up with pirate interruptions this is radio this is their new single right yeah it is uh fire it off then James it's got the mellow beginning quite mellow wonderful track by the way but i've ruined it with pirate interruptions here we go
Kathy says, Mark, I've been sick of my legs.
I've got to go up now.
She's left her coat behind.
It's like her black hole weave.
Like her belt forever.
Ripples on a plane
What a nice bit of cake now.
What a nice bit of cake.
thoughts.
It sounds like Take On Me at the end there, don't you think?
Take on me.
Oh, that was a superb bit of pirate interrupting there.
It's enjoyable, isn't it, doing the interruptions.
Ah, that was lovely.
You're standing far more authentic than mine as well.
Nice little, little bit of cake.
Come with the cake.
Well, folks, we won't be able to put those in our podcast, obviously, because the music won't be cleared.
Our music is original, but the music surrounding it is not.
It is somebody else's property, so you'll have to do listen again if you want to hear those again.
You can listen against the show on the iPlayer or through the 6 Music website.
Um, but of course, if you want to hear the filleted bits, plus a few more new nuggets, a couple of little tiny new nuggets, then download the podcast.
You'll be able to do that from, uh, I think tomorrow evening onwards.
And that's pretty much it for our show today.
Thank you so much, Garth.
Well, thank you for having me again, and I'm back again next week, sitting in for one more week while Joey's away.
Yeah, exactly.
And next week, as we said before, we're gonna do those Reckoner remixes ourselves.
They're gonna be amazing.
And who can tell what we'll do with them?
We're both looking at each other in those sad, tired eyes.
We can tell if we'll have time to do anything with them at all.
We might just play them and just make more pirate noises.
Oh, I love the pirate noises.
And thank you once again for all your texts and emails.
We've got Liz Kershaw coming up very shortly.
And we're going to play Goldfrap right now.
Is that right, James?
Yeah, nice look a bit of Goldfrap.
And this is Strict Machine.
Have a wonderful week.
Take care.
Lots of love.
Bye!