Hello and welcome to the Big British Castle.
It's time for Adam and Joe to broadcast on the radio.
There'll be some music and some random talking in between.
That was XDC with standing in for Joe and this is Joe Cornish saying good morning to you here on the Adam and Joe show on BBC six music.
I'm back from LA prematurely, not for bad reasons.
I'm fired or anything.
But you're still in the game, right?
Yeah.
I've just come to do some work from home.
Hang on, Adam.
Don't speak.
People will be confused.
No one knows what's going on yet.
Yeah, that's good.
He's a bang.
So this is Joe Cornish here in the studio in London.
I'm also joined by Garth Jennings.
Giggling fool Garth Jennings sitting in.
But that song was recommended by one of your listeners for us to play last week when I was standing in for you.
Well, it's very apposite and it sounded great.
And Garth, you know, you in a way needn't have been here.
It's true, but I just can't stay away anymore.
And we don't like it when you're not here.
It's nice, unlike the Bez to your Happy Mondays.
I'm your little vibe controller man.
Shaking my maracas.
You can do more than Bez though, don't you think?
Probably not actually, no.
And also listeners, as if that wasn't enough, we have also got Adam Buxton coming live down the line from a small cupboard somewhere in Norfolk, Norwich, is that right?
Hello Adam.
Yes, that's correct.
Hello.
How are you doing, man?
Can you hear me all right?
Yeah, you sound a little bit yogurt potty.
Yogurt potty.
Well, I am... I'll tell you exactly where I am.
I'm in a yogurt pot, so that could explain it.
It's a giant yogurt pot, though.
It's like a little broom cup, because the BBC couldn't stretch to an actual radio studio, apparently.
for this live link up.
So I am literally in the tape cupboard in BBC Norwich where they keep the 64 minute DV cam tapes.
I'm looking through some of them now.
I bet you're doing more than looking through them.
I bet you quite a few are going to fall into your bag.
some of them I'm going to steal yeah sure I don't think then they're untitled actually so I might have to I'm just gonna sit here and watch a few of them all right there's a few wow there's loads of little tapes here full of old bits of crap and I'm here in this broom cupboard and I've got one of those mics that sports commentators use with a little lip guard so you holding it to your face now
Well, I'm not actually holding, because I don't want to have the spittle of a sports presenter caressing my top lip.
Sportal, it's called.
Sportal.
So I'm trying to keep the spittle away from my actual face, so I'm holding it a little bit away.
Does it sound better when I hold it closer like that?
Oh yeah, it's much more like a racing guy.
You know, this is a new thing now for us on this show to have to have three voices and there may be some problems I've been thinking about this problem number one might be that people often say that me Joe Cornish and Garth sound quite similar Yeah, but now you see put us up against each other and people could tell the difference.
Do you think so many we still sound the same also?
Yeah, I've got to just stop overlapping.
Well, you two have got the rhythm the Adam Joe rhythm, which no one can touch So I've just got to watch my step
How dare you touch our rhythm.
Don't touch us on the rhythm.
And Adam obviously is in his cupboard in Norwich, so he can't see what we're doing here in London.
You've got no computer screens or video screens.
It's sort of like Mr and Mrs, right?
You're in the isolation booth.
Exactly, yeah.
Only you can obviously hear.
I should explain why I'm in the isolation booth.
I know.
You said it right the first time.
Isolation.
Yeah.
It's because, basically, things are going to be back to normal next week, listeners.
I can assure you.
Both are going to be.
You're going to be there, right, Joe?
Sure I am.
Sure thing, yeah.
I'm going to be back in London, and it's all going to be like a normal show.
But at the moment, my wife is expecting a baby.
A baby.
Tiny baby.
A baby animal.
No, a human.
She's expecting a human baby, I think.
And it's overdue.
It's about a week overdue now.
So we're sort of waiting with baited breath and baited traps to try and get the baby out.
So I have to be on standby.
Get the baby.
Have you tried all the old wives things yet?
Yeah, tried all them.
Hot bars, hot curry, bath and hot curry.
Hot lovin', all that kind of stuff.
And then if there's no sign by Monday, the time's up, they're gonna send in their tear gas, they're gonna start playing Nancy Sinatra, and they're gonna induce the thing.
So we'll smoke him out.
But there's always the chance that it might happen actually during this show, in which case my phone will ring and I'll just have to leave you guys to it, which is why Garth is there really, just in case of that eventuality.
It's very exciting.
It's going to be an edge of the seat show.
But let's have a bit of music now before we do our next bit of rambling.
This is an exciting band called TV on the Radio, which is impossible.
That's TV On The Radio with Golden Age.
This is Adam and Joanne Garth here on BBC Six Music on a Saturday morning.
You know, when I was a little kitty and before televisions were stereo, when radios were stereo but televisions weren't, I used to think they should just put the audio of television on the radio all the time.
Uh, live, do you know what I mean?
So you could turn on your telly, then you could turn on your radio, and you'd have stereo from a sound.
Well, because people used to do that for sports things, didn't they?
You'd put Wimbledon on, and then you'd bung on the radio, because the commentator used to be a bit better.
Was the same.
Well, it'd be better as well.
You'd have that other guy doing it.
Yeah.
The one that had a voice that sounded like a teabag.
Mate, I don't know anything about sport.
Okay.
Has there ever been a radio show where people are just watching TV and talking about it?
That would be a good show, wouldn't it?
Sorry Adam, go ahead.
You can't do that every time I speak, otherwise the listeners are going to get bored.
As far as they're concerned, it's just a normal show, three guys chatting.
Yeah, it's true.
So, yes, has anyone ever done that?
Like a TV show with people just commentating on the television program?
A radio show rather.
That's a good idea.
So you'd have a radio station that was non-stop commentary on what's on the telly.
That's a very good idea.
That's a great idea.
Save you having to actually watch it.
You could get loads more done during the day, couldn't you?
You could be doing stuff and then you feel like you've watched TV at the same time.
Yeah, what would it be called?
Come on, we should do that.
TV on the radio.
Nice.
They could do more music for it.
Exactly.
Come on, this is a good idea.
If anyone's listening and they can help us sort this out.
See, you're on fire.
You may be in a cupboard, but you're still cooking with gas.
Is your cupboard on fire?
Listen, now it's time for fashion news, as some of you listeners might know.
I've just got back from Los Angeles, the capital city of America.
It was very exciting.
And I noticed one or two emerging fashion trends that people here in the UK might want to pick up on.
Give me your fashion tips.
I noticed that everybody, at least one in six people,
was wearing a pork pie hat in Los Angeles.
I was standing in the queue to see the new Shia LaBelle film.
It's not how you say his name, is it?
Eagle Eye.
There were two people in pork pie hats.
There was an old man on the plane who thought he was younger than he actually was.
He was dressing a lot younger than he was, and he had a pork pie hat.
Wasn't it Cave again, was it?
It wasn't Cave.
Cave wouldn't wear a pork pie hat.
follow such fickle fashion, does he?
He's a fashion leader.
Yeah, exactly.
And I was driving along the road, and I saw a pork pie hat in the middle of the road, just discarded, as if they'd been... It wasn't... Go on.
It wasn't a tiny little man.
It might have been a tiny man, trying to cross the road.
Might have been a man who'd fallen down a pothole.
Yeah.
And the circumference of the pothole was slightly smaller than the circumference of his pork pie hat brim.
But to me, there's no point in a fashion like that.
If everyone's doing it, what kind of a statement of individuality is it?
Eh?
Well, fashion's not about that, is it?
I mean, it's about having your fashion fun and making your sort of semi-individual statement, but saying I'm part of a small clique.
Right.
And then if absolutely everyone is wearing them, obviously, then it's about something different.
It's about fitting in.
So, are we gonna wear pork pie hats this week?
I think we should just try it.
Just give it a go.
They have to be slightly too small.
It's a Pete Doherty thing, isn't it?
Yeah, it is a bit.
Pete Doherty and Blake, what's his name, Seville?
Winehouse is old, Squeeze, his name isn't... Federer.
Is that his name?
Roger Federer.
Roger Federer, Seville.
Roger Federer.
Yes, I would be surprised if he does wear one.
He makes everything look good, that guy.
Well, the other thing is that it's a bit ordinary boys, isn't it?
It's sort of, what do you call that?
It's a bit, it's a bit mod-ish.
Well, the ordinary boys would be very pleased about that news.
That they're still resonating.
Like if you go into, there's some high street fashion store.
Oh, it's even French Connection, I think.
And everything in there looks as if it's from, they've nicked it from Preston from the ordinary boys wardrobe.
That's what it's all about these days, apparently.
He's clearly still at the top of the fashion tree, Preston.
Yeah, we should push him out.
What, push him off the top of the tree?
Yeah, we should, you know, and then he might hurt himself.
What would you say?
But what would you come, what would you put in his place then?
What would you, fashion wise, what could you bring to the table?
I mean... Well, I thought, I mean, there's two camps, isn't it?
On the one, on the one hand, you've got that sort of ordinary boys, natty fashion type thing.
And on the other hand you've got the horrors, kind of gothic, more mighty bush type look, haven't you?
And there's going to be, maybe there could be big kind of mods and rockers style battles on the beaches of Brighton between these two camps, I'd like to see it.
That's a good idea, Goths versus Trilbies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's about time we had some big battles in Brighton again.
Let's stoke it up over the next few weeks.
That's the sort of thing the BBC should be doing.
I'm not seriously suggesting that Preston should be pushed out of a fashion tree, by the way.
I think that would be dangerous.
Only a small one.
He could jump off.
He wouldn't be hurt.
He might twist his left ankle a bit.
But listen, it's time for your free play now.
Tell us what it's going to be.
Man, I was listening to this in the car, because I've been doing a lot of driving around, commuting between London and Norwich and stuff, and this popped up on the stereo, and I forgot how amazing it is, and I was completely moved by its talking heads with naive melody.
You know this track, of course, guys, don't you?
Yes, brilliant.
And I remember reading that, to construct the lyrics for the song, David Byrne from Talking Heads just tried to think of
comforting phrases, like all kinds of comforting phrases, and just string them all together in a kind of wonderful, comforting reverie.
And so this is it.
Naive Melody, this must be the place by Talking Heads.
Oh, the weather in Norwich is very nice and it's exciting.
Yeah, it's nice, man.
It's a lovely morning.
Is it?
And we get nice weather in Norwich.
It's not fair.
It's a better climate.
I might go to the beach this weekend.
You know, I'll freeze all my parts off, but still, it'll be fun.
Good idea.
Can I come too?
And that radio listener was solid radio gold.
Listen, there's one other person in Los Angeles who I saw with a pork pie hat before I finished my pork pie hat rant and it was comedy star Eric Idle.
I went to a screening of a film.
Eric Idle was a couple of rows behind me.
I didn't pluck up the courage to go and speak to him.
But, you know, there's a way that older men become quite wide.
You know, however slim you were when you were young.
I'm already halfway there.
Right, I'm sort of starting along that road as well.
Well, our idol is quite big now, and the pork pie hat looked quite absurd, just because of the sheer proportions.
A bit like when you put a hat on Mr. Potato Man.
Exact them all.
It looks like it's going to fall if the wind will blow.
Exactly.
He used to wear a nice pork pie hat for that sketch where he's like say no more.
Oh yeah, large nudge.
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.
Not as good as a wink to a blind bat, et cetera, et cetera.
And he had a pork pie hat there, didn't he?
I think he did, or at least he does in my memory of him.
Have you ever met a python before, Garth or Joe?
I met Terry Gilliam once by accident.
How was that?
Well, first of all, when I was at college, he came in and he gave us a little drawing to put in our school magazine.
It was brilliant.
I've still got it, actually.
I was the one that stole it from the rest of the students and kept it.
Who wouldn't?
But then years later, when we finished doing Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I was coming down some stairs from the edit suite and Terry Gilliam was coming up and somebody introduced us and he just went, oh, you're the guy who's making that film.
That must have been tough.
And then he carried on his way.
But he seemed very nice.
Yeah, yeah, wow, that's amazing.
Michael Palin.
Michael Palin, yeah.
Anyway, now it's time for the news, here on BBC 6 Music, read by Claire Runaker.
Yes, it's Song Wars time here on the Adam and Jo and Garth Saturday morning radio show on BBC6 Music.
We've got Adam coming down the line from a cupboard in Norwich.
And, Ad, you're going to have to explain what Song Wars is all about this week because I was away and all I picked up was it something to do with remixing Radiohead.
Yeah, well, that's basically the gist of it.
The prongs in question this week creating the songs are Adam and Garth
And Radiohead, because Radiohead made their new track, Reckoner, their new single, available
on iTunes as split tracks so you can download six separate tracks and construct your own remix.
They call them stems, don't they?
Stems, there you go.
Yeah.
The bass stem and the vocal stem and the backing vocals and all that.
I was thinking, sorry to interrupt you so really, I was thinking we should do this with one of our song lore songs.
Put stems up and get people to remix them, don't you think?
It's just my idea.
It is an idea.
I can't stop them coming out.
No, it counts as an idea.
No, we could do that.
That's a wonderful idea.
We should do that on the... Yeah, we could do it on the 6 Music website, couldn't we?
Yeah.
Wednesday, yeah.
I've got my territory for that.
So Garth and myself did remixes of Reckoner.
How did you get on Garth?
I'll tell you about that once we know who's going up first.
Oh, well, let's flip a coin first of all to see who goes first.
OK, so we haven't got coins in Norwich.
I've got a coin here in London.
London's got the last coin in the country, actually, ever since the credit crunch.
Lucky old John's got the last in the world.
All the other coins are just imaginary speculative coins.
But this one's real.
He said George Bush is going to give us more coins.
He's going to give us 70 billion coins.
But you've got a call.
What's it going to be?
Heads or tails, Garth Jennings?
Heads.
To go first.
Adam Buxton?
I call heads too.
It's Tails.
So Buxton goes first.
Your first ad.
Buxton goes first.
Okay, so I turned my Reckoner remix into a kind of narrative.
about a couple of blokes in an editing suite arguing about what kind of music they're going to use on their cop show.
You've been in that situation, right Garth and Joe?
I mean it's not necessarily with a cop show, but it's an amazing moment when you're editing something and you think, you know, the last piece of the puzzle is a bit of music here, but then sometimes you have a bit of a standoff with the editor, right?
And the editor's got his own ideas and he's
thinking, no, I think we should put a bit of MGMT on here, and you're thinking, no, not MGMT.
Anyway, so that's the backbone of this Radiohead Reckoner remix.
That's happened to me a lot, and I've always wanted to hear a song about it.
Well, good.
Today's the day.
There's two men sat in an editing suite, working on a serious TV show, about cops on the beat swearing in it.
And there's a scene where things get really heavy for a minute, shouting, crying, big decisions, people dying.
But it still needs one more element to beef up the meaning, or it might feel irrelevant.
So the editor says, we need a really nice bit of music, Les.
And Les, the director, says, I know, I got a wicked album a week or two ago.
You know, the one by Radiohead, if we put some on the end of the scene, he'll knock him dead, Fred.
That's the editor's name.
And Fred says, yeah, I was thinking the same.
But what about the scientist by Coldplay?
And Les says, no flipping away, Jose.
Coldplay's flipping well yesterday.
And it's totally wrong for the scene.
Right Les, you made yourself clear, you don't want to use no Coldplay here.
How about a nice bit of Philip Glass?
Come on Les, you flaming ass.
This isn't a science documentary.
You don't use glass on a TV drama.
I would have thought that was flipping elementary.
This bad drama car.
Come on Les, I'm not a Coldplay snob.
I just think this track would do the job really well, when the strings all swell.
Yeah, and the cops are looking out at all the bad stuff and they're thinking, oh, why does this have to happen every week?
And I was thinking we could add a little scratching for a bit of street flavour.
Alright, maybe not.
It's not the BBC and it's very expensive.
No, no, no, no.
I don't know if you know.
But Tom's a big fan of the show, says Fred.
Let's shakes his head.
We said the band had saved a few weeks ago.
Said they had it confused with a different show.
And if we want to use their music on any of the episodes, regardless of the content, the answer is going to be definitely no.
But there's some good news.
Aha said yes.
If you want, we could use...
It's the only thing that we can clear.
Why are you looking at me like that Fred?
Wow.
I feel so out of touch.
I understood most of that.
Is the aha stuff, is there a bit of the record that sounds like aha anyway?
Well at that end, the chords at the end of the song are so like, take on me.
That was a great ad.
Thanks very much, man.
So, yeah, you know, that's a little narrative thing for you there.
So, Garth, let's hear what you came up with.
Tell us a bit about... Well, I should tell you a little bit about it.
I was very lucky with this one because I actually managed to get an actual recording of when Tommy York first came up with this song in his shower.
So, yeah, do you want to just play it and you'll hear?
Let's have a listen.
you you
Tell me you're nearly done lovely, I really need to pay.
Seriously darling, I'm busted.
You're nearly desperate now.
Darling, that's adorable.
Come on, Tommy.
Um, baby, don't let me go in the garden again.
Tom?
Fine.
Fine, you just stay in there, Mr. Rockstar.
I'm off to the rockery.
Goodbye.
A sort of revolting, I'm sorry everybody.
He made a pup!
He made a genius pup!
It was amazing!
Well the funny thing was, did you find this ad, it was fascinating when you get all the streams?
Is it streams?
Stems.
When you get the stems, don't cross the streams, but when you get the stems, you can hear it all separately.
And I find that fascinating.
I couldn't help listening to them all one by one, especially the voice.
Well it's great.
And it sounds like he's in a bathroom, doesn't it?
So, listeners, you have to vote on which of those remixes of Radiohead you like the most, and you need to do so by email.
That's right, isn't it, these days?
The email is AdamandJoel1word.6music at ppc.co.uk.
You vote Adam or Garth.
Garth's was the fantastic evocation of Tom York in the shower, and Adam's was the fantastic evocation of Les and Fred in the editing suite fighting over what track to use over their cop show.
Congratulations to both of you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thanks.
You did very well.
We'll play those tracks later on in the show anyway just before the end of the program to give you a reminder.
But man, Garth, you pulled it out of the bag there.
You were acting all like, oh, I didn't really, oh, I didn't have enough time, oh, you know.
Well, I didn't.
I was in the bathroom the other night because I was technically babysitting for my own children because my wife had gone out.
So I had to do it all in the bathroom so I could keep an ear on them all and at the same time just do it.
Record that for me.
Another way of saying that you are babysitting for your children is saying that you are their father.
Yeah, yeah.
But you know when it's you on your own, that's babysitting, isn't it?
If you'd rather be out, I think you could call it babysitting.
I'd rather be out.
Well done, both of you.
And here's some of what passes for real music these days.
This is Tilly and the Wall with beat control.
Wow, that's soul wax.
With too many DJ's that was a session would you believe it for radio ones evening session on the 15th of June?
Guess what year Garth?
1935 No 2000 2000 this is Adam and Joe and Garth here on BBC six music on a Saturday morning Adam coming live from Norwich the home of the quiz of the week What was that quiz the quiz of the week of the century?
That's right the home of Alan Partridge where he's marooned in a travel lodge all the big stars
gravitate towards an orange.
I have, I've turned into Alan Partridge.
That was good beatboxing though, did you hear that beatboxing?
Well I like the fact, yeah, it was almost like sneezing at some point.
Yeah.
You were doing some good sneezing beatboxing in the break there.
Have you ever met somebody who does machine gun sneezing?
Adam Buxton.
You know most people will sneeze, I think twice, isn't that what naturally happens?
You hardly ever sneeze once, you're always twice.
But some people go,
Have you ever, a friend of mine's mum used to do that on the drive to school.
That's more like Thomas the Tank Engine sneezing.
Well, it would be, if you were a beatboxer and you had that condition, you'd be in great demand, wouldn't you?
Well, my brother-in-law though, he does a brilliant sneeze where you never hear it.
It's totally silent.
I do that sometimes.
It's like a...
And it never comes out.
And it can be dangerous, that one.
But apparently, when you hit a certain age, all the sneezes you saved up come out at once.
That's rubbish.
Hang on, say that again.
All the sneezes that you've stifled... This is the BBC, you can't just make stuff up.
This is the truth, Ruth.
You need this will be fact-checked.
Can I call you Ruth?
Yes.
I like it.
Say it again, all the sneezes... All the sneezes that you've stifled will come out when you reach a certain age.
Rubbish.
Where are they stored?
They're stored in your chest.
How?
It's true.
It's like a sort of, you know, it's like bottling stuff up.
Remember when Scooby Doo would hurt his foot and he'd want to scream, but if he did, he'd be found out.
So he'd scream into a bottle and put the cork on the bottle and it was fine.
Scooby Doo.
Was that not real?
that there must be, there are lots of docs, in fact, our audience is mainly made up of the medical profession.
So if you wouldn't mind emailing us, Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk and just confirmed to us that all repressed sneezes are stored up and at a certain age they come out.
Joe appears to believe that was true.
Joe's confused now.
When we play a record in a minute I'll give him a little hug and a stroke his head and tell him all about it.
Listen, now it's free play time from me and this is a very... I've bought in two very short tracks.
I've been kind of enjoying tracks that are under two minutes.
Yeah?
Yeah.
And this is one by Everything But The Girl from I think their first album, their very first album.
It's called Laugh You Out The House and it's only one minute 46.
Is that a good thing?
It's perfect.
Perfect.
So here it is.
Here's Everything But The Girl.
There we are, a shorty from Everything But The Girl.
Laugh you out the house.
This is Adam and Jo and Garth here on BBC Six Music on a Saturday morning.
Everything But The Girl used to be known by their initials EBTG.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Imprint.
I mean, no one went around actually calling them EBTG.
It's true, but you're right.
Imprint and every now and then, you know, other famous bands with Acronymical, is that a word?
Names include OMD.
What does that stand for, Adam?
Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark.
REM.
Rapid Eye Movement.
UB40.
Unemployment Benefit 4C.
It's the form that you have to fill out.
Abba.
all boring but amazing.
What did it have at Stanford, Garth?
I think Adam's right, isn't it?
All boring but amazing.
No, it's Agniether, Benny Bjorn and Anna.
Oh, I don't know that one.
It's something... Liberation Front, isn't it?
It's correct.
It's something misspelled to Liberation Front.
Oh, copyright.
With a K, apparently.
Copyright Liberation Front, yes.
Hence the use of samples, liberal use of samples.
And then somebody said to me that the Beastie Boys is an acronym.
That the Beastie of the Beastie Boys is an acronym.
Standing for boys entering anarchistic state toward internal excellence.
That's rubbish.
Is that rubbish?
Toot.
But I read it on the internet.
It's on the Wikipedia, must be true.
That's the end of that.
I don't believe that.
I can't believe that.
That's completely rubbish.
Do you know what the name Pet Shop Boys means?
Well, it's... Do you know what that means?
Filthy... I never knew that it meant anything, yeah.
It's a filthy thing that homosexual gentlemen do to pass the time that we can't talk about on a Saturday morning.
No, it's brilliant that you brought it up, though, man.
Thanks a lot.
I'm in a state of shock and now if you're listening, it's okay, I don't really hang out with them.
Okay, well it's now time for the top of our swiftly sweeper, so let's have a sweep to sweep away the smut.
Love sweeping.
That's the Kaiser Chiefs with Never Miss A Beat.
This is Adam and Jo and Garth.
Adam and Jo in London.
What?
No, come on Cornish, think this through.
Jo and Garth are in London.
Adam, you're in Norwich.
Why are you in Norwich again?
I'm hosting the quiz of the week.
Really?
I'm the new Nicholas Pastniks.
Finally!
No, I'm in Norwich because we have moved to East Anglia and this is the nearest available studio to where we've moved to.
You being you and your wife.
Yeah, me and my family and my wife is expecting a young human any moment and so I have to be nearby in case things start moving and I have to drive her to the hospital and all that sort of stuff.
Thank you very much.
And later on, I'm planning a trip to the cinema with my existing young sons.
And I'm a little bit nervous about it because we sort of rashly said, hey, let's go to the movies.
Yay, let's go to the movies.
Yay, the movies.
Excitement, the movies.
But then I realized there wasn't actually anything on.
The only film that we've got available to us this afternoon for family fun is Space Chimps.
Anybody?
Has anyone seen Space Chimps?
Well, no, but it was on the plane, but I didn't see it.
But it's got Andy Sandberg, hasn't it, from SNL, who's really funny doing the voice of one of the chimps.
So that's a positive.
On the downside, I haven't read anything about it at all, neither good nor bad.
It's sort of, has it been
Well, it's obviously been released over here because you're going to see it.
Have you read any reviews?
It's at the end of its run though, isn't it?
The end of what?
It's at the end of its run.
You're like the last guy to see it this weekend.
Maybe we'll get some kind of prize.
But I'm thinking it can't be any worse than Clone Wars.
Was that bad?
Have either of you seen Clone Wars?
No.
Oh my gosh.
We went to see Clone Wars the other day and I should say first of all before I say anything else that both the boys enjoyed it hugely.
They thought it was amazing.
We had to buy the book of the film you know like a big
cartoon book, and I've been reading that out all week.
At that point, the council said to Chris Emmerdahl, we have to go and investigate the trade routes and get the bounty hunters on our side, blah, blah, blah.
Kids love trade routes.
They love it.
They absolutely love all that stuff.
But it was the first time that I had fallen asleep in the cinema since, well, I think forever.
I don't think I've ever fallen asleep in the movies.
The only time I've ever experienced someone falling asleep was when you, Joe, fell asleep on your birthday when we went to see Dune.
I fell asleep.
I went to see Dune twice.
I fell asleep both times and woke up at the same time, both times, when the sandworms came up.
I fell asleep in the dark night.
Well, that is dark, isn't it?
Yeah, it was so dark and soothing.
Oh, it's all the soothing terrorism.
It just lulled me to sleep.
Ah, terrorism.
But no, I had a good yawn and, you know, I just dozed off.
And it was weird, because the first 10 minutes, it's all sort of action and it's beautifully done, I suppose.
And they're all jumping around and droids of blasting each other and stuff like that.
And you think, this is all right, this is not going to be too bad, because I'd read a few dodgy reviews for it.
And I thought, come on, they're just being unkind to Lucas.
But actually, it's great family fun.
But then it just goes on.
It just doesn't stop.
It's unrelenting.
The action is just never ending.
And then you just have to go to sleep.
Doesn't it have a character called Stinky?
Yes.
Jabba the Hutt's son, I think.
His little baby son is called Stinky.
And does he not do that?
Jabba has a son?
Yeah.
That's not right.
Well, he's sort of having slugs reproduce.
I just don't like that idea.
He's got a cousin called Zero as well.
And Zero kind of talks like this.
And he's like a big kind of camp.
a hut man and he's got face painting stuff on his face as well and he turns out to be a bit of a rock basket as well it's all very confused because Jabber as we know is a filthy person and he gets his comeuppance at the hands of Princess Leia on the prison barge.
How do you know he's filthy?
Because he dresses Leia in a skimpy bikini and puts her on a chain.
That's filthy isn't it?
He's the most vile scummy person in the galaxy we're told.
That's true.
I thought he was rather nice.
He encases Han Solo in carbonite.
What kind of a thing to do with that?
But in Clone Wars, that's all off the table.
It's not really dealt with.
It's all very confusing and I had to go to sleep.
Anyway, I will tell you what space chimps is like next week, I guess.
I mean, the alternative is that we just take my whole family to see how to lose friends and alienate people.
No, that's a bit adult.
Is it?
Yeah.
Yeah, but there's a scene where the dog jumps out the window and then a pot falls on him.
Yeah, that's adult.
It's very adult, the bits they don't see you.
Where the pot lands, where the dog lands.
Well, what else could I see, Mr Film's Cornish?
Space chimps.
It's going to be great.
Imagine chimps in space.
Well, exactly.
There's another space thing where ants go to space.
Yeah, little flies or something.
Fly me to the moon.
I think it's a 3D glasses film.
In the meantime, here's a little bit of prompts the prints that the purple midget this is girls and boys Big shout to me grandma
That's a track that goes straight into the next one, isn't it?
It's like, what's the Bowie one that segues like that?
Andy Warhol and something else.
You there, Adam?
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
Great tracks that just seg into the next track on the album, and you can never hear them without listening to the beginning of the next one, without imagining the beginning of the next one.
Yes, it's Kooks, doesn't it?
Goes into Andy Warhol.
That's right.
That's Prince, the American musician.
It's an old one, Girls and Boys.
Somebody, while I was in America, was saying to me that there is a lost Prince album other than the Black album.
There was famously the Black album that had Bob James and stuff that used to be a big kind of
thing you'd want to get on bootleg in the in the late 80s early 90s somebody told me he did a whole album as a lady as a sort of girl figure he sort of had an alter ego who was a girl yeah maybe princess princess superstar and apparently this album was unreleased but from it came the track if i was your girlfriend and you know he's done one or two tracks where you can't tell whether he's singing uh as a boy or a girl it's a bit androgynous and confusing has anyone else ever heard of that album
The Prince's album.
No, no, we haven't.
Well, that makes me the very cool, doesn't it?
But I would have thought we'd have heard of that as Prince fans back in the day.
Your listeners will sort you out with all the info.
They always come up with the goods.
If anyone knows that, do tell us about it, because that would be exciting, an undiscovered Prince album, wouldn't it?
It would be like finding something amazing.
It would be like finding Uli's gold.
Also, we should tell listeners that there were a couple of pirate interruptions in there, just in case you were confused.
Yeah.
That was from last week.
Garth and I came up with a few little bits of pirate interruption for you.
So, you know, we're just scattering them around the show.
Yeah, just to give the digital listener the analog experience every now and then.
Just remind you of what the other people are dealing with.
Very good.
Driving across the bandwidths.
So listen, shall we get on with a bit of text the nation?
Yes.
What if I don't want to?
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Yes, it's Text the Nation time, the nation's favourite feature as voted for by the readers of OK Magazine.
Is that true?
No.
And this is the part of the show where we give you a sort of a question, a talking point, and you text in or email with your ideas.
The text number is 64046.
That's 64046.
Email is Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
And this week's Text the Nation premise is based on something I sort of half-read.
So it might not be true.
Is that all right?
That's all right.
That's fine.
Standard operating procedure.
Exactly.
I half-read, in this month's Edge magazine or somewhere, that Nintendo are bringing out a new Wii.
And everyone knows what the Nintendo Wii is.
Of course, it's the super video game console where you waggle the controller around and it matches your actions on the screen and all that bit.
I don't have to explain what it is.
But apparently they're bringing out a new version of it and people are speculating as to what the new innovation will be.
And this is an innovation beyond the pad that you stand on, the Wii Fit thing.
That's right, they've had the pad that detects your shifts in your body weight, you can do exercises on, they've got the nunchuck and the remote control.
So they've already got lots of innovations, but there's going to be a new one.
It's going to be HD is the first thing.
High definition pickies.
Thank goodness.
Thank goodness, because I was fed up with those blurry sprites.
Are you?
Well absolutely, it's depressing.
If it's not in high definition it makes me physically sick.
It makes me feel like I'm blind or in the 60s.
So we would like you listeners to text or email in with your suggestions of what the latest innovation in video game consoles could be.
So they didn't actually specify what it was in this article or you just didn't read that far?
A bit of both.
There's some sort of expo going on somewhere where they launch new products.
There's a Nintendo expo and word on the street is they're going to announce some big innovation.
But I thought we could try and one-up them or spoil the whole thing by outguessing them on this show.
All the Nintendo people listen to this show.
Absolutely.
Have you been speculating on what that innovation might be then, Joe?
I have.
I thought it might be a car called the Nintendo Wheels.
And this is Nintendo manufacturing an actual car.
And instead of a windscreen, it has tellies.
And it basically has cameras mounted on the outside that scan in the real world.
But it translates them into cute little animals in little cars.
That's a great idea.
And projects them on the windows.
So you can be driving along a real street, which obviously will be full of dog turds and people stabbing each other and terrible weather and all that sort of thing we're used to here in Britain.
It's a new phrase I've made up.
Broken Britain.
But when you're driving in the Nintendo wheels, all you see
It's turtles and mushroom men and little... Can I ask you, Joe, at what time did you think of this idea?
Ten minutes after I'd taken the LSD.
It's not true, I'd never take LSD.
Actually, that's a great idea.
When people would come and try and clean the windows, it wouldn't look so scary.
They'd look like a strange little elf.
It's Mario!
Do you want me to squeegee your front window?
No, you don't.
I don't care.
I do it anyway.
You run over my foot.
I saw you.
and also if they if they manage to you know successfully work out this technology a miniature version would be the Nintendo specs with three X's and that's of glasses based version and you just wear your glasses you walk down the street and it turns everyone in the street into Nintendo characters where you
you see that one is probably closer to being realized I would imagine that's in the works already I reckon that's what they've got at the Expo I seriously think that you know that's the whole idea of like being in a virtual world that's what the Wii is all about isn't it yes I know because they were everyone was going on about virtual reality 10 or 15 years ago or whatever
And then everyone went quiet because it was rubbish.
We used to go into the Trocadero, didn't we Adam, and play on those virtual reality machines in like 1993.
They were rubbish.
Yeah, I used to do that.
They were absolutely rotten.
I used to be working at Tyrak at the Trocadero then.
Did you?
Yes, I used to go in there in my lunch hour, have a bit of virtual reality.
You know, the Trocadero being a fantastic shopping centre in Piccadilly Circus here in Londonium.
Yeah, but now virtual reality has come on in leaps and bounds and I imagine the technology is caught up with people's expectations of what you can achieve.
So I wouldn't be surprised at all if that's the way that Nintendo were going with that.
But the other thing of course
is that, you know, in the military, and it's always about the military, they develop these things for the military first, right?
And then it bleeds across to video games.
That's the way it goes, the trickle-down effect of military to video games.
But what they're developing for pilots is stuff that's controlled by your brainwaves, right?
So literally, you're literally thinking stuff.
Right, that was Firefox, wasn't it?
The Clunk Eastwood film, yeah.
Yeah, but you're literally thinking stuff.
Pilots are able to think things, and the brainwaves that their thoughts produce are translated into movements in the actual plane.
But this is actually real, isn't it?
I've seen that demonstrated on telly with video games.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It can happen.
They've got the technology, right?
It's all real!
I'll tell you it's real!
Oh god, I'm falling over!
There's been an accident in Norwich.
Is that it?
You're just telling us that fact and its power's thrown you off your chair just in case.
It's okay.
Everything's fine.
It's real.
I've fallen over again.
I'm just saying that it could be something like that.
It could be just like a little box of electrodes and you jam them in your head when you want to play your Wii.
Look, basically you haven't got an idea and you're trying to substitute just aggression.
for the lack of an idea.
And it's a good idea, it's a good idea.
No, that's an amazing idea.
Garth Jennings anything?
Yeah, I was thinking, I like the Wii stick thing and the idea is that you've got the whole of the human body in the system and that if you point this, the Wii, instead of pointing it at the telly, you point it, put it on your head as if, you know, it's like a pen or you put it to your face or round.
And as you move it around your body, it's like you're watching the screen and it's like looking inside yourself.
And if you press the forward button, you can go in a bit deeper.
If you press the back... So it's like a medical examination tool.
Yeah, it's not like a game for the Wii.
Yeah, but it's not like you're real.
It's not really your body.
You're not having a sort of scanning inside it, but they'd have like a computer, perfectly replicated sort of human body.
And it'd be fascinating because you'd be able to point at your throat and then zoom in.
Again, those exist.
Really?
You can go on YouTube and you look at medical scanning technology or whatever, and it's a pair of virtual goggles that doctors can wear.
And as they look across a person's leg or whatever,
it translates into like a scan an x-ray scan of of their legs so it's not an actual x-ray but it's it's showing them whereabouts the bones and the ligaments and stuff would be in that leg do you know what I mean well yeah there you go
There's also games for there's there's there's a surgery game for the Wii and stuff like that operation Yeah, yeah, that's a good application though You could have a special Nintendo drink and you drink it it would fill your body with some sort of magnetic chemicals And then you would put yeah, press the the controller against your body and you'd be able to see the health of both nipples Individually exactly how the nipple stems were getting on and how long it was gonna take them to dry up and fall off
You'd be able to get all the stats.
We should play a bit of music before we hear some more ideas, but before we do, Garth, I'd just like to say that I think the Wii Stick already exists and it's just for testing if you're pregnant or not, I think.
Oh, that's true.
Isn't that true on your Wii?
That's not true.
Anyway, listen, if you've got better ideas...
If you've got better ideas for how to innovate video games, we've got to keep this on topic ideas for innovating video games.
Text us on 64046 or email adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk.
We'll be reading some of your ideas out in the next 15, 20 minutes.
Here's some vampire weekend.
Ever heard of them?
Yeah, this is my free choice.
Is it?
Oh, my choice.
This is Ottoman by vampire weekend.
I'm very quiet.
Ah, that's because I'm on air.
That's why it's gone very quiet.
That was Vampire Weekend.
That was your choice, Garth, wasn't it?
Yeah, I like that one.
That was very nice.
You're like, it's a nice relaxing Saturday tune.
You've made a video with them, haven't you?
A video?
Yeah.
Are they nice chaps?
Yeah, lovely.
Are they?
Yeah, the lead scene has got porcelain skin.
Really?
Yeah.
Is it that because he's very young or it's just because he's a dolly?
He's a tiny dolly.
Is he?
Little dolly man.
No, they're really good.
I just really like their records, so I asked if I could do a video for them.
And they said yes.
Yeah, rightly so, because you're the king.
Am I the king?
Yeah, videos.
A few offered to do one.
I wear the crown.
There you go.
That's Gary U.S.
Bond.
Thank you.
Adam, are you there?
Yeah, I'm just waiting for you guys to stop talking.
Yeah, OK, we'll stop now.
Uh, all the cool people do videos of Vampire Weekends.
Richard Iowade, he's done one.
If not two, I think.
Has he?
Yeah.
He's directed a performance film of the Arctic Monkeys Hasney in performance that I think is being shown at cinemas around the country next week, is it?
Mm-hmm.
Or is it this week?
Uh, it's supposed to be really great.
I might be going to see it next week.
What a special screening.
Mm.
I'm not sure in what way it's special.
But, uh, I'm only going if it is special.
I think it's for special people, that's why you've been invited, Joe.
Thanks very much.
Now it's time for the news here on BBC 6 Music, read by Claire Ronakers.
And the music news, read by Chi Chi.
The Killers with Smile Like You Mean It, here on BBC 6 Music.
This is Adam and Joe and Garth with you on Saturday morning.
Hello Adam!
Hey, how you doing, man?
I'm doing very well.
Are you doing all right?
I'm doing all right.
I'm in my cupboard in Radio BBC Norwich.
There's been a couple of men in saying, oh, nobody told us this room was being used this morning.
We're supposed to be taking the tapes out of here today.
OK, don't worry about it, we'll come back later.
Sounds exciting.
Garth, you alright?
I'm doing fine, I'm just sitting next to you.
Yeah, I'm just letting the listeners get comfortable with the different voices.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
We've had a couple of texts saying that Garth and my voices are quite similar and people are a bit confused.
Should I try and do something a bit different?
I think you should talk like that.
Hello, my name is Garth.
OK.
So Adam, you've been to... Now you sound like Justin Lee Collins.
That's no bad thing.
Our ratings will go up.
Might I suggest a nice Jamaican accent car?
I can't really do that one.
We've already been in trouble with the Pet Shop Boys.
We've got to keep this in family friendly areas.
You know what?
Just to put the Pet Shop Boys thing to bed, as it were.
I think that's an urban myth that it's a smutty bit of phraseology as well.
I think it was chosen for entirely innocent reasons.
But it was on the internet, Adam.
You've got to get off the internet, man.
Hey, I saw Justin Lee Collins in Los Angeles, don't you know?
I turned up at my hotel.
It just got off the plane.
And there was Justin Lee Collins in the street outside filming a link.
He was getting together some old has-beens for his Channel 4 program.
You know that program he does?
Yeah, the stall was one, was it?
No, was it?
I don't think it was.
It was two as-yet-unbroadcast ones.
I did a good one for the Star Wars lot.
Yeah, he was looking very... He's a very nice guy.
Always gives you a very big hug.
He's really lovely and friendly.
But he was looking quite stressed out.
I think the reality of those shows is that he works really hard and they genuinely do have an awful time trying to trap down these people.
No, it looks like a nightmare.
When I was watching the Star Wars one, I did not envy him in the lease.
Sat outside Carrie Fisher's house, and a certain amount of it looked a little bit staged, like they'd got permission from people, and then kind of acted like they were doorstepping them.
Well, you would hope so, otherwise it's a nightmare, isn't it?
Well, I'm sure a lot of it is for real, and I'm sure it's a nightmare, yeah.
So, best of luck, JLC.
Yeah, best of luck there.
Now, you've been to some sort of exciting awards thing this week, haven't you?
Yeah, some sort of exciting awards thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it was.
It was very exciting.
Only a few weeks ago, we found out that we had been nominated for an award at the LAFTAs.
Not the BAFTAs, but the LAFTAs.
They're better than the BAFTAs.
because they're a dedicated comedy award organised by Loaded Magazine, and the readers of Loaded Magazine, not the suits, right?
Not the execs, but the actual readers, the human beings, vote for their favourite people in comedy, and in the end, we won Best Double Act, despite the fact that we have not been on TV as any kind of double act for a very long time, but we had been honoured in that category purely on the strength of this radio show.
Wow, that's extraordinary.
Yeah, exactly.
So thank you very much indeed to the readers of Loaded Magazine.
It was a great honor.
Although it was a little bit of a humbling experience, I went along to the ceremony and no one really knew who the heck I was or what I was doing there.
Joe, you weren't able to come because you were otherwise indisposed.
But I went along and I was pushed in front of the photographers with my award.
And the first, like a big fat photographer man just said, who are you?
To start off with.
I don't know who you are, but look over here, he says.
That's good.
That's recognition of a kind.
I guess.
He recognised me as an object.
A man.
Exactly.
You human.
But it was nice to see there was a couple of friendly faces there.
Harry Enfield was there.
He was picking up a lifetime achievement award.
There was a slight whiff of
Whoever was going to turn up, they were going to reward kind of thing.
At least that was a joke that Jimmy Carr made.
I don't think it was the case.
It was an amazing honor.
Plus the statuettes you got were really nice and heavy.
You could really mug someone with them.
Wow, that's our second statuette.
For how long have we been doing this?
13 years or something?
Something like that.
We only ever won another award at the beginning of our career, an RTS award, but they only gave us one.
And if we wanted to have one each, we had to purchase another at the cost of about 120 quid, I think they were, despite the fact that they were just sort of perspex obelisks, weren't they?
These ones, the laughter's were a combination of expensive metal, all beautifully carved, and what looks like marble.
It's really a high-end award product.
But Adam, you're skipping over the actual ceremony and what table you were sat at and what sort of a speech you made, because presumably you had to go up and accept this thing, right?
I did.
Well, it was a very small venue.
It was like a little club off Regent Street.
So there were only about five or six long tables.
Oh, I thought you were going to say people.
Five or six.
There were a few long people.
There was Jimmy Carr was there.
Always nice to see the smiling face of the one-line genius.
And Harry Enfield was there, as I said.
Lee Francis was there, accepting an award because of his Keith Lemon show.
He was a very nice person as well.
Paul Kay.
I want to hear about the speech.
What speech did you make?
So, well, I was up second.
uh... and so i didn't really have much time to think of anything i went up there and i basically read through some ideas that i jotted down on the train for various various like things you can do when you accept when you accept an award a lot of which i can't say cuz i peppered them with expletives because it would go down well loaded readers love expletives yeah exactly uh... but i i said okay here's some ideas i got for what i should do and if i win this award idea one act like i've just
won the artist of the millennium award like Michael Jackson and I said that's an old idea that I've been saving up in case we won an award try to snog the presenter behave yourself say thank you very much talk about how these awards are special because they're voted by anyway blah blah blah did it go down well did you get any laughs I got yeah it was fine I acquitted myself polite laughter
But no, no, no, it was good.
Genuine after.
Gales.
Well, that sounds like a hugely successful day and a new high point for the Adam and Joe and Garth juggernaut.
I think without me, you wouldn't have stood a chance.
Yeah, you should have been there really, Garth, accepting that with me.
It's really my award.
We all know that, right?
So there you go.
Who can argue that this is one of the greatest, who can argue that this isn't one of the greatest programs in the world?
Nobody, right?
Yeah, exactly.
We've got the awards and the lack of recognition divided.
Right.
Listen to it.
The talking, the records, the talking, the news, the records.
It's astonishing.
Here's a record.
This is the prodigy without of space.
Text-a-nation.
Text, text, text.
Text-a-nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text-a-nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text!
Yes, it's time to do a bit more nation texting here on the Adam and Joan Garth Show on BBC Six Music.
Before that, Jingle, you heard the prodigy.
What was that record called Garth?
Out of Space.
Yeah, and listeners are reminded that Dave Pearce, the king of dance beats and Shaking Your Bootay, starts a brand new show here on Six Music tomorrow.
Is that right?
That's very exciting at 8pm.
Someone was speaking there.
No, sorry man, it was me.
I haven't quite got the skills, you know.
Yeah, it was dangerous Dave Pierce dance anthems.
Yeah, was that what his old show was called?
Well, he was dangerous Dave Pierce, wasn't it?
Really?
He's gonna have to think of some new alliteration.
Well, he was quite dangerous though.
He'd just come at you, just really with the beats.
With no warning.
I don't think it was that.
It wasn't that.
He got the name, I think, because he was very bad at wiring plugs and stuff.
It was a health and safety thing.
DIY problems.
They called him dangerous.
Adam Buxton is coming to you from a cupboard in Norwich.
If there's a slight difference in the resonance of his voice here, that's because he is in Norwich.
He's been banished to Norwich for various reasons.
Isn't that right, Adam?
I've been banished to Norwich and I'm only eaten porridge.
Yes.
Here are some text the nations then.
Text the nation this week is all about innovations in the video game sector.
What can possibly beat the Wii?
What new thing can come out that's going to make video games even more exciting than they currently are?
And here are some texts.
uh we had an idea during that record that has actually also been had by a fellow called James Binning who's texted in to say I reckon they should have we squib sets like actors have in war and gore movies you could have different coloured blood and stuff so squibs are the little explosive um
sacks of fake blood that you put on actors to simulate them being shot.
And I think that's a brilliant idea.
You could go into your video game store, you could buy a pack of 40 wee squibs, they'd have peel-off sticky backs on them, you'd pop them on your body and when you got shot in a game, they would explode and it would look like you've been shot!
You could put them on your dog as well or anywhere.
If you put them on the room, if you put them on my dog, Garth, I'll be so angry.
You could put them on your mum.
She could walk into the room and you could have it.
You could put them on people without telling them.
And then they'd walk into the room and just get shot to bits.
It'd be too dangerous, wouldn't it?
They wouldn't be passed by the toy safety people.
Yeah.
Killjoys.
Isn't that how, um, yeah, somebody died, didn't they, in the film street by putting on a script the wrong way round?
Oh, really?
That's no good.
No good.
What do you think of that idea, Adam?
Are you gonna approve that for manufacture?
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Can I just say at this point, can you hear a strange noise from my box in Norwich?
Yes.
Slightly whispering.
Yeah, nice.
It's as if there are ghosts in there with you.
There's a noise, there's a strange rattling noise going on.
Anyway, sorry, just warning you in case.
I think the whole building might be actually being demolished around you.
This is the last room that's going to be demolished eventually.
And then when the show finishes today, they'll just knock it down.
But no, I love the Squibs idea.
That's a very good one.
And I had another idea, incidentally, while that song was playing.
It was something
Inspiring about the prodigy.
What about the Wii roughty?
Yeah, and you connect a little thing to your wink wonk or that part of your body and you know That's an obvious application, isn't it?
That's been That's this way.
Is that it though the Wii wonk for sexy fun?
Because sort of a game does it come with well, it's more of an adult Mario
in Mario, and Princess Peach, you know?
You're disgusting.
I am a little bit.
Well, come on then, let's hear some other ideas.
Here's another more family-orientated idea.
This is from George in Peter's Field.
He says, people always say that new consoles do everything but make a cup of tea.
So...
What about the wee kettle or the wee tea?
Yeah?
You move about with your hands in the kitchen interacting with the sink and work surfaces.
Up to four friends can play with teacup accessories.
Coffee and hot chocolate extras can be downloaded.
It's called the tea.
Does that make any sense to anybody?
Yeah, the wee tea, that's good.
The wee tea.
I'd like one that would, so when I wave my wee around, I could reach things that are far away, like cleaning windows really high up.
Control stuff, like a magic wand.
There's another... With the wee tea, that's virtual tea.
You're just seeing the tea on the screen and you can stir it with the controller and add stuff and you never actually get to drink it.
I think George's idea is that you just go to the kitchen and make some tea, but you sort of treat it as if it's a game.
I think that's the idea.
The other thing that they're genuinely doing, I think with the Xbox 360, is they're going to start doing quiz shows, game shows, as if they're on the TV, but you get your console online and you have a virtual host, a bit like that game Buzz that they have on the PlayStation.
But it'll be a quiz game, but with thousands of people around the country joining in.
So it'll be like you're genuinely watching and competing in who wants to be a millionaire, but you'll be doing it with loads of other virtual contestants and they'll be real money to win.
That's brilliant.
I thought that was the, that's the only, it's like, you remember those old fruit machine game and watch games you used to have?
Yeah.
I used to wish that they pumped out real money.
So it's just that video games are taking a step towards actually rewarding you for successful play.
They're going to take over for granted.
Well that's the thing, you know, why watch a television game show where you can't interact when you can have your special one on the video game?
I'll tell you why, Joe.
The personality factor.
You don't get Chris Tarrant there, okay?
And you can't beat Tarrant, even if you want to.
So, yeah.
That's absolutely true.
I hadn't thought of that.
Tarrant is the magnet that draws the millions to the game.
Tarrant or Tim Vine.
Or Vine, you're absolutely right.
I'm going to cut off one of my feet so I don't forget that.
Good.
Now it's free play time.
This is one of your free plays, I think, Adam, by someone called Herman Dune.
Oh yeah, Herman Dune.
We played a video of his at Bug, which is the video showcase thing that I do occasionally at the BFI, and it was a really good track.
I hadn't heard any Herman Dune before, but he's one of the, like he's part of the kind of neo-fokey movement.
And this is just a very enjoyable track.
What's it called again?
I haven't got it in front of me.
It's called My Home Is Nowhere Without You.
I think you'll enjoy this one, Joe.
Cool.
What a frightful noise.
That's the Damned with Love song here on BBC 6 Music.
I'm Joe Cornish, I'm joined by Garth Jennings here in the studio in London.
Hello Garth.
Hello Joe.
And our Norwich correspondent is now on the line from Norwich.
Hello Adam Buxton.
Hello, how are you, Joe?
Nice to hear you.
Very well, thank you.
It's important to speak like that because you're coming down the line.
Absolutely, Joe, yes.
So what's the news?
Sorry.
What?
Sorry?
Who?
What a blooper.
Maybe that'll be on the...
Blooper show.
Sorry?
Blooper.
OK.
What?
All right.
Only joking.
What?
So what's the news there in Norwich, Adam?
What is the news?
Well, this is not just Norwich news.
I think this is national news.
At least I heard it on the national radio.
One of the nice things about driving long distances is that you get to listen to Radio 4, which is an enjoyable thing.
You know, lots of people listen to Radio 4.
I tend not to have the time in my life to do it.
And usually I cycle around, right?
So I don't listen to the radio on my bike, but in the car, of course you can sit back and relax and listen to the Radio 4.
Do you listen to a lot of Radio 4, Joe?
I like Radio 4.
I used to be on Radio 4, I'll have you know.
Of course you did the movie show.
I got some bird doing it now, John.
Yeah, she ain't as good.
Nah, nah, nah.
I was wicked.
I got this bird, right, and she's like... Yeah, that's not good.
I used to just get the films on pirate down the pub and watch them there.
And then I used to just text in my reviews, you know, three or four words.
It's all the people need these days.
Well, the bird, yesterday, right, a bird, she was talking to Simon Pegg and she was all giving it like this and talking and all that.
And I thought Joe should have done this.
He would have just slapped him.
I would have slapped him.
Simon Pegg, stop making comedy films.
Do something serious for a change.
Do something properly serious.
That's not true.
But just listening to the news on Radio 4, you know, they always seem to have one eyebrow permanently raised a lot of the time at the way the world is, quite rightly a lot of the time, you know.
But one of the stories that they were sort of amused but audibly by yesterday was the fact that a trucker somewhere in the UK had been followed by the cops for about 12 miles or spotted weaving around from lane to lane on the motorway.
Right.
And when they finally caught up with this guy they saw that he was illuminated in his cab.
This was late at night.
by the glow of a laptop that he had set up on his dashboard and the guy was just, according to the radio, watching episodes of the cult seventies science fiction television program Battlestar Galactica.
Well it is good.
It's not good, though, is it?
I mean, it's a load of rubbish, but they were making a point of saying the Cult 70 science fiction programme, Battlestar Galactica, so I'm assuming that it was the old one and not the new one that the guy was watching, because that would put a different spin on the story, I was thinking, right?
I mean, Joe, I don't think you've seen the updated Battlestar Galactica, have you?
No, but everyone says it's terribly good.
It's all political, isn't it, and contemporary in its resonance and relevance.
so we're told it's certainly a little more cutting-edge than the old series used to be and you know you wouldn't I would be surprised to find a truck well you know I'd be surprised to find a trucker sat there watching Battlestar Galactica of any generation on his laptop while he's driving it seems unbelievably insane he was found guilty of as he wasn't found guilty of criminal
of dangerous driving.
I'm not sure, but he was given a lot of hours of community service, I'll tell you that much.
I should hope so.
You know what?
It's something I've seen as well in London, because you can now buy these very small portable tellies.
And I've seen quite a lot of people driving along with just a little telly mounted on the dashboard.
And it's highly illegal and it disgusts me.
There's a way of doing it, though, that could work, right?
What you do is you don't put it up so you're looking straight at it.
You just lay it on the top of the dashboard, so it's ref... This only works at night.
Like an old-school video game.
Then it reflects in the glass.
Like an autocube.
Exactly.
It reflects in the glass.
You're technically looking straight ahead at the road, and you've got this sort of ghostly image of Battlestar Galactica.
It works.
That is a nightmare.
I mean, can you imagine the kind of carnage that this guy could have caused?
It could have been a very different kind of story there on the radio.
He needs to be driving a Nintendo wheels.
That's what he needs.
That's the way to combine entertainment with driving.
Truckers would actually really go for your idea.
You know what the snag is?
You only get one life.
But that makes the games more edge of the seat, makes it more exciting.
It depends in what way you're injured, you know.
But it's all a very bad idea.
Watching television and driving do not mix.
Doing anything while you're driving.
You need to have absolute attention on the road and the mirrors.
Yeah, it's all about being safe.
And there's, you know, even if you're the safest driver in the world, the most frightening thing on the road is other people.
And that loony, that loony lorry driver sounds as if he should be locked up in chains.
Did you ever see, without being explicit about it, did you ever see the Pammy and Tommy home video?
Yes, I did.
It was sweet.
There was a scene in there when they were on the motorway.
They were doing something whilst driving, yeah.
That should have got them quite a lot of hours of community service.
you're absolutely right anyway listen let's have some more music now and maybe we can hear some more of the listeners ideas for new video game innovations after this what is this now we got job this is now know it on the whale with their song the shape of my heart
Oh, that was quite a powerful horn stab at the end.
That nearly took my ears off.
I like a nice horn stab.
And now that was Noah and the Whale here on BBC Six Music with Adam and Joe and Garth.
Adam and Garth.
What?
No, come on, think it through Cornish.
Cornish and Jennings here in London and Buxton in Norwich.
Right, Buxton?
Correct.
It must be very exciting to be in Norwich.
Yeah.
It's amazing.
Norwich is... Just roll with that one.
is a wonderful place and full of happy smiling people.
Yes.
Now, we're in the midst of Text the Nation as well.
We've been asking you for your new ideas, listeners, to innovate video game technology.
And to be honest, it's been a bit of a slow trickle.
We've had a lot of wordplay based on the word we.
We've had a lot of people suggesting
The Nintendo Pooh.
Yeah, P-U.
Yeah.
Well, if you say it like that, you know, I mean, that, to me, sounds good.
Does it?
The Nintendo Pooh.
Yes, that's right.
It's a good idea as well.
It's a good idea.
Well, it's not a good idea.
It's just we've added a lot, which, you know, might suggest that it's not necessarily the most novel idea.
Exactly.
But we did have one other good one, and it's a tricky one this week.
You know, we're not, I'm not being...
uh nasty to the listeners god forbid i think they're lovely um but you know it's a tricky one and it's an area where original thought is very difficult but here's a good thought from um a fellow called what's his name david mccormick and he suggested
the Wii G board, the Wii G board, so it's a kind of way to contact the dead via your Nintendo.
Now, that's obviously very dangerous.
A lot of people are terrified of Wii G boards.
You know you can walk into toy shops in America and buy them.
Really?
Glass spinning things?
No, exactly the same model they use in The Exorcist that gets her into such terrible trouble in that film.
You can actually walk in and buy them.
It's like next to scrabble and snakes and ladders.
As again, for kids in America.
Yeah, well it depends how seriously you take nonsense.
Because we used to just do...
Go on Ed.
My ma always used to tell us whether you believe in an afterlife or not.
Just don't mess with it.
Don't mess with it because if there is a portal, then that is the knob that's going to get you into it and you'll be in all sorts of terrible things.
I think there are rules about this.
I don't think you're allowed to do them on television.
I think there might be some BBC rules about it.
People do take it very seriously, but David there is suggesting that a Nintendo bring out a virtual one.
I don't know what the spirit world would think about that.
Do the spirit world on the internet yet, do you think?
I reckon they are.
You reckon they are.
Definitely plugged in.
I had a Ouija board experience when I was a kid, and we really thought it was so real.
And I remember my mate, Mark, put a piece of paper under the glass to trap the evil spirit.
Well, that's how it works, isn't it?
We ran for a mile and then he threw the glass and shouted, evil spirit be gone.
And was that not terrifying?
Yeah, we ran like hell from that spot.
We should really save all this up for the end of the month when we have our Halloween show.
Oh, right.
It would be great to do a scary show, a Halloween show, and with Halloween coming up, so we could talk about this sort of thing.
I had a very similar thing where we tried one, it wasn't an electronic one, it was a normal one, and the glass smashed.
I think someone just pushed it too hard, but it appeared as if Satan was in the room with us.
I've never run so fast in my life.
It was terrifying.
Buxton?
No, that's absolutely grim.
You should never mess with that stuff.
No, don't do it, kids.
You're mum's exactly right.
I've had another idea.
How about this?
This is on a totally different tack.
This is going back to the physical properties of the Wii.
The role Wii coaster.
I like it.
This is a proper idea.
I don't know, somehow you would have like a chair.
It would be about the chair.
And you plug the chair in, right?
And the chair kind of rocks you back and forward somehow.
It's on a gyroscope.
Yeah, right.
Mounted in a gyroscope.
On a gimbal or whatever.
And it gives you the physical sensations of being on a rollercoaster, right?
I mean, it makes no sense from a practical point of view.
It makes perfect sense.
It would be prohibitively expensive.
I mean, the other thing you could do, of course, is just hire a person or get your brother and sister or whatever just to rock you back and forward.
We used to do that.
As kids, did you not play the rollercoaster game?
No!
You'd get in a chair and the person would rock you and you'd be blindfolded and then you'd whiz the chair around and describe what was happening.
And you could blow on the person's face or something.
Or occasionally just vomit in their face and pretend it was the person sat in front of you.
Yeah, or like get a seagull and ram it into one of their eyeballs.
Is that what happened to some American celebrity?
No.
Yeah, it did, famously.
Some big hulky, hunky American celebrity.
The listeners all know.
Hulk Hogan.
What's he called?
Not Faberge?
Oh, Fabian.
Yeah, Fabian.
He was, though, famously, he was on a roller coaster and got hit by a passing girl.
Fabian.
Fabio, that's right.
He got a seagull in the face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And there's brilliant photos of him with blood all running down his... Obviously, they're very terrible and sad.
You can imagine if the rollercoaster pulls back in and everyone gets out and he's just there with his flashy face.
I can't get out!
Poor old Fabio.
That would be a good idea for an exhibition, don't you think?
Like photographs of people with things in their face.
You could have Bowie with the lollipop in his eye.
Fabio with the seagull in his eye.
It's a dangerous world out there.
We need some more suggestions for what else could be the exhibition of people with things in their face.
Actually, we have some more music.
Yeah, let's have some more music.
This is a free play.
This is by my favourite R&B and soulster, Raphael Sadiq.
He's got a new album out.
He's usually sort of hip-hop and solely, but he's jumped on the sort of Fotown bandwagon.
Do you know what I mean by Fotown?
The kind of duffy Amy Winehouse, you know, pretend Motown bandwagon.
But I think he's done it best of all, because he's, you know,
Really good, he can play and everything.
And this is a track from his new album that's called The Way I See It.
This is called 100 Yard Dash.
The Miserable Morrissey with The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get.
Is that unfair to call him The Miserable Morrissey?
That's completely out of order.
Is it?
I thought that was fine.
No, that's a grotesque caricature of a man who has given joy to millions.
You're absolutely right.
What a stupid... Who said that?
I don't know man, get rid of that.
Go back to America.
This is Joe Granish from Adam Buxton and Garth Jennings here on BBC 6 Music on a Saturday morning with 37 minutes left of some of the best radio you will hear on BBC 6 Music in the next 37 minutes.
That's true isn't it?
That is technically true.
Yeah.
Listen, we were talking earlier as well about a Lost Prince album that somebody was telling me about in America.
Apparently he made an album in a sort of androgynous character as a lady.
and some of the tracks from Sign of the Times came from that album.
And Victor has emailed in to say hi Adam in Norwich and Joe and Garth in Londonium.
I think the record's called Crystal Ball and the non de plume prints adopted was Camille.
Several songs from the Sign of the Times originated from this project including You Got the Look and Strange Relationship as well as If I Was Your Girlfriend.
Strange Relationship?
I thought Crystal Ball was an official album.
I thought it was as well.
I remember it in the shops.
I can picture the cover.
Yeah.
So it's getting even more intriguing as the story develops.
It certainly is, Jon.
Maybe you could have a look in some radio shops in Norwich, Adam.
I'll get right on it.
Well, I think it's exciting that there's a Prince album out there that I haven't heard with him dressed as a lady.
For me, that's exciting.
That's been released, but I just haven't heard of.
Have you heard of an album called Parade as well?
That's a good one.
Just now, you're just being nasty.
That's got songs on it too.
No, that's interesting, man.
And I'm glad that you've...
got all that, er... out of my system.
Now, I'm handing over to Garth Jennings.
Garth Jennings, hi.
Oh, right.
I'm just gonna pick up from that one then.
Yeah, no problem.
It's fine.
No, I was gonna... I was gonna ask both of you about crying because the other day I was watching The Wire.
I won't say what happened, but at the end of season four, some... a tiny little thing happened and I suddenly found myself sobbing.
Openly weeping and I realised, er...
This hadn't happened in a long time.
Oh, is that with bubbles?
Yeah, don't say what happened though, man.
It was bubbles that made me cry.
Which season were you watching?
The end of season four.
Right.
And I just, I thought, oh my goodness, I'm weeping like a crazy person.
And I realised I haven't had that sort of thing for years, that maybe we've all come a bit cold and stuff.
I remember watching things like Babe and even Deep Impact and shedding many a tear.
I did actually weep openly in Deep Impact.
I don't know why it just caught me off guard.
Well, it's a... It's a... When Tea Leoni gets 69ed, I... 68ed rather, I laugh and laugh.
When she's on the beach hugging her daddy and a massive wave comes in and sweeps them away, doesn't it?
Isn't that what happens?
Yeah.
Did I say 68?
86 is the phrase.
86?
Yeah, I was... Oh, dear.
69?
Yeah, man.
You laugh at that, Adam.
No, it's always a pleasure to see Taylor Leone being dispatched as far as I'm concerned.
See, I found one deeply moving.
It was when Lincoln Freeman said, oh, millions of you will die.
It's a very manipulative film.
There's a horrible scene where
A little baby is prized away from the arms of its mother by the son that has to ride off on his motorbike and the mother sort of says, take the baby goodbye, and they know they'll never see each other again.
It's just horrible.
It's like a nightmare.
But I haven't had that sort of emotional experience for ages until now, until the thing happened in the wire.
Do you not ever cry much?
You don't seem like cries to me.
No, only lady may cry.
Yeah, I think you're up.
I tell you what used to make me cry was Cilla Black's heart.
No, Esther Ranson, one of the telly ladies.
It was called Hearts of Gold.
Do you remember that?
I think that was Ranson, yeah.
Ranson.
And she used to reunite long lost relatives.
And it was sort of like emotional pornography.
Just people in terrible, terrible circumstances, brought together with the power of telemoney, flown halfway across the world, simply just to hug and cry.
And the hugging and crying would go on for, you know, three or four minutes, with slow zooms into the gushing eyeballs, Esther tilting her head this way and that, Esther sobbing as well.
But apparently, that is a sign of being psychologically disturbed.
If you only cry at things that happen to other people and not at your own life,
Apparently that's I think you're a bit you got problems in the noggin.
I think so, you know, if you don't cry when hot if you just repress things that happen to you and then wait for some telly to come along to trigger it, then you're not dealing with things in the proper order.
That's what the film says.
The film Love, actually, I remember Richard Curtis talking about
the whole thing being inspired by people being reunited at airports, either saying hello or goodbye.
That's how the movie opens, doesn't it?
That's right.
I think there's a montage at the beginning.
We'll close this one or the other.
It's at the top.
And that was one of the things that he said was always a moving thing to see.
The only thing that makes me cry, actually, is music.
Like, if I'm listening to a track, especially nowadays, I'm getting quite ancient.
If I hear a track like, well, when I heard the Talking Heads track the other day, that made me weak because that was just reminding me so powerfully of like when we used to listen to it when we were all like 13 or whatever.
And man, that was just like a real shortcut, like a good song can really turn there.
The lady man taps on.
Man taps.
Yeah.
Man taps.
What about, like, if you cry at commercials, that's when you're in trouble, I think.
Yes, Hitler used to do that.
I just made that up.
But if you throw Hitler in, then, you know, that's making a good point, isn't it?
No, don't cry at commercials.
That's terrible.
Terrible business.
Only cry at real things that have happened in your own life.
All right.
Otherwise, you're wonky in the noggin.
What else triggers your tear ducts, though, Garth?
Well, just, well, I'm with you actually with the music thing.
Yeah.
Stuff that reminds me of when everything was brilliant.
Not that it isn't great now, but when you're a kid... Ready to crunch?
Yeah.
Speaking of which, here's something to make us all cry.
The latest news, here on BBC 6 Music.
Text-a-nation, text, text, text, text-a-nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text-a-nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
Yes, it's Text the Nation time here on the Adam and Jo and Garth radio show on BBC6 Music.
We've been asking you to send in ideas to innovate the video games world, to see if you can come up with the gimmicks to beat the Nintendo Wii waggly controller kind of thing.
And we've had one or two good ideas in.
You ready for these, Adam?
Yeah, hit me.
Are you ready for these goth?
Hit me again.
What about, this comes from Daniel in Leeds, a Sony pray station?
A mat on furls for you to genuflect on and then on-screen messages of spiritual enlightenment help you to do the praying.
That's good because you could actually then have visions.
That is good cause.
They could give you proper visions.
You could watch the visions.
So, Jesus would appear.
Jesus.
Or whatever.
You'd set it to what religion you were at the beginning.
Yeah, you'd set it to your religion and you could actually get something back rather than just sort of hoping.
Well, you could go to different levels of spiritual enlightenment.
Yes.
And then, you know, and you could save the levels.
Obviously, it'd be depressing if you came back one day and you had to go through all the levels again.
that you didn't save them properly but that sounds amazing that's a ruddy good idea well done Daniel in Leeds and then at the end you meet the boss obviously you do what happens then or you have to die for the last level basically right you get it kills you no you have to make that or no life just ends and then life just ends yeah and then it's just Richard Dawkins at the end laughing at you yes
See, I told you, there's nothing all rubbish.
That's of course not true, religious people out there.
You're fine, it's all true.
Here's another one from Richard Henson.
It says, Dear Adam and Jo and Garth, how about the Nintendo Wii A?
This is a special edition of the Wii, which is specifically for Jordies.
Possible game, Greg's theft auto, where you control a black and white striped avatar running around Newcastle Town Centre trying to amass as much sausage roll stroke pasty based carnage as possible.
Cheers, Richard.
Yes?
That's good.
Yeah, I like it.
Garth, like that one?
Yes.
OK, good.
Well, it's a sure and sweet Piffy.
We go for Pith here.
And finally, here is one from Elian Bournemouth.
And she suggests the Xbox.
This gizmo will function as a replacement partner for all those gaming widows who've lost their husbands and boyfriends to the lure of online gaming.
The Xbox will engage in friendly conversations throughout the course of an evening, then come to bed at a sensible time.
for all those boys and gentlemen who are single, but who would like to recreate the relationship experience of having their gaming punctuated by huffy and spiky questions from their wife-stroke girlfriend about how much longer they're going to spend on that flippin' game.
May I suggest the weed-o, like widow.
That's a good idea.
That's good, isn't it, Ellie?
A lot of very good thinking there.
She's got wordplay, she's thought it through, she's got all the details.
These are your fans.
How about the reverse of that idea, and it's just called the sex box.
You've already suggested that, Adam.
Well, I'm suggesting it again.
Stop it!
Your mind is... Norwich has made your mind go filthy.
What with your new interpretation of the deep impact, tear Leone death scene in this.
It's all become quite colourful and erotic this morning.
Why did I have that?
That's terrible, isn't it?
86 is the phrase we're talking about.
A better idea.
It'll be a fun scene though, the way I've imagined it.
Yeah, it'll be quite a way to go considering she's standing there with her dad.
Easy.
So that's it for Text the Nation this week.
Yeah, anybody else got anything to say?
I'm just still shocked.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much indeed listeners for all your texts and emails as usual.
Sorry if we didn't read them out but we really appreciate all of those.
Thank you very much.
Well said Adam.
We're going to be reminding you listeners of our Song Wars
Radiohead remixes in just a few minutes, but first I believe we have some more wonderful music for you, and I hope it's as good as the last track we played.
That was the Dandy Warhols, right?
Yeah.
Which not only was fun, but informative as well, and it was good for me because I was actually thinking of maybe taking up heroin, but now that I realize it's so passe, I've thought better of the whole thing and I'm going to stare well clear of it.
Yeah.
So what have we got for this track, Joe?
Well, you're right to base your drugs choices on fashion.
That's exactly the right way to approach it.
But now we've got MIA with paper planes!
Yes, it's time to recap Song Wars here with Adam and Joan Garth on BBC Six Music and this last week's Song Wars challenge was to take the stems, the different elements from the new radio track that Radiohead have posted online and mix a brand new song out of it.
Is that right?
That is absolutely correct and last time Adam went first but I'm going to go first this time so you can hear it again.
My version is Tom York singing in the shower.
What's the track called again?
Reckoner.
There we go.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Tommy, you're nearly done, lovely.
I really need a pay.
Seriously, darling, I'm busted.
I'm really desperate now.
Darling, that's all lovely.
Come on, Tommy!
Erm... Baby, don't let me go in the garden again.
Tom?
Fine!
Fine, you just stay and then Mr. Rockstar, I'm off to the Rockery.
Goodbye!
There you go.
That's my... That's my remix.
Why is she off to the rockery?
Because that's where Rockstar's wives go.
Yeah, I don't know why I said rockery.
I was just thinking of garden.
What part of the garden can I explain with one word?
And I thought rockery.
It's an image.
Anyway, yeah.
Man, that is great.
Thank you.
Okay now here's mine and this is my remix of Reckoner and it sort of speaks for itself but it's about the problems of clearing music by Radiohead if you're a TV professional and you want to stick it on your exciting cop drama.
Here we go.
There's two men sat in an editing suite Working on a serious TV show about cops on the beach Swearing in it And there's a scene where things get really heavy for a minute Shouting, crying, big decisions, people dying But it still needs one more element to beef up the meaning Or it might feel irrelevant
So the editor says, we need a really nice bit of music, Les.
And Les the director says, I know, I got a wicked album a week or two ago.
You know, the one by Radiohead.
If we put some on the end of the scene, he'll knock him dead, Fred.
That's the editor's name.
And Fred says, yeah, I was thinking the same.
But what about the scientist by Coldplay?
And Les says, no flipping away, Jose.
Coldplay's flipping well yesterday.
And it's totally wrong for the scene, anyway.
Fred says, alright Les, you made yourself clear You don't want to use no Coldplay here How about a nice bit of Philip Glass?
Come on Les, you flaming ass This isn't a science documentary You don't use glass on a TV drama I would have thought that was flipping elementary This bad drama karma Come on Les, I'm not a Coldplay snob I just think this track would do the job really well When the strings all swell
Yeah, and the cops are looking out at all the bad stuff and they're thinking, oh, why does this have to happen every week?
And I was thinking we could add a little scratching for a bit of street flavor.
Yeah?
Alright, maybe not.
It's really very hard to clear Radiohead It's got the BBC and it's very expensive No, no, no, no, I don't know if you know But Tom's a big fan of the show so spread less shakes his head He said the bandit tape a few weeks ago Said they had it confused with a different show And if we want to use their music on any of the episodes Regardless of the content the answer is going to be definitely no But there's some good news Aha said yes, if you want we could use
It's the only thing that we can clear.
Why are you looking at me like that, Fred?
I don't know why I went all pathetic at this point.
I do.
I think that's brilliant, Ad.
Musically, I think that's one of your best pieces so far.
Well, let's have a little bit of friction between you.
I can't take the, um... Can't we instead of all this lovely, duffy stuff?
The backslapping, come on, you know, we know what it's like, Joe, when you put your heart and soul into it.
Yeah, you want to win.
Yeah, I mean, I do want to win, and I did spend a lot of time on it, but you've got to admire the precision, the genius, the simplicity of the Jennings effort there.
Absolutely.
There's a purity to Jennings' approach.
He's doing such a lot with so little.
Are we going to, are we going to submit these to Dead Air Space Radiohead's website?
Is that where we can put their remixes?
We should put them wherever they're supposed to be.
Yeah, let's see what the mighty heed think of them.
Yeah.
OK, so there's Song Wars and that will be resolved next week when Garth is away.
Garth, will you be able to listen to the show next week?
Yes, we'll try and get you on the blower, if that's possible.
OK, now we're going to have a free play chosen by you Garth.
Yeah, I'm going to say nothing more than this is Burn My Eye by Radio Birdman.
Yeah, that's primitives.
The primitives, do they have a V on them?
Somebody tell me.
Yeah, they do.
I think that was the primitives.
The primitives with Crash here on BBC 6 Music.
It's nearly the end of our special three-way show with Joe here and Garth in London and Adam Buxton in Norwich.
Do we feel it's gone off well, this whole way of doing things?
Well, it's not ideal.
I mean, I certainly don't like being in a little box and not being there in the studio.
It's much more fun being in the studio.
And there's no way, I mean, you're always going to get that thing of having to pause and not really knowing when everyone's going to speak and all that.
So next week, it'll all be back to normal.
Joe and I will be in the same room looking at each other's faces.
But we won't have the Garthster.
You don't need me.
I'm going to miss Garth.
I already miss Salty.
Or Hamptus Salty, the salt man, the saltmeister.
He's just a distant memory and soon Garth will be like a shadow in my mind.
You know what we should do is at Christmas time, we should get Garth and Salty and have a little party in the studio with them.
Oh yes, a Salty party.
Salty party.
A Jennings party.
That'll be very good.
That's Christmas to look forward to.
I'm looking forward to the Halloween show already, the spooky programme with a scary text the nation with ghost stories and maybe we'll summon some kind of demon in the studio.
We should do some spooky song wars as well.
Scary song wars?
That's a very good idea.
Yeah, it's all happening here.
Listen, thank you very much to everybody who's texted and emailed during the show.
Thank you for your support.
Don't forget you'll be able to get a podcasted version of this show from about six o'clock tomorrow evening.
We're in negotiations as to whether we can actually put the Song Wars songs into the podcast.
They probably won't be there tomorrow, but we're going to work and see if we can get permission from the powers that be to use those Radiohead noises.
Yeah, we're making calls, we're pushing buttons.
Fingers crossed that that might happen.
You can also listen to the whole show on Listen Again via the BBC 6 music website.
But now we're going to play out with a special song for you, Adam.
Can you guess what this might be?
It's a special record that you've been talking about.
Can you hear it at all?
Adam, hello.
I'm listening.
Oh yes, fantastic.
It's iPhone 65.
What's fantastic about it?
Oh, everything.
Hooray!
We'll see you next week.
Thanks for listening everybody.
Bye!
Cheerio, bye!
Bye!