Oh, get inside.
Oh, it's so cold.
It's freezing out there.
You know, it's the coldest Christmas since records began.
Really?
What sort of records?
That records.
Yeah, that's Stevie Wonder Records.
Really?
It's the coldest Christmas since that Stevie Wonder record began.
He was just going crazy all over the bottom of that song, wasn't he?
I mean, he shouldn't really be allowed to be... to play so fast and loose with a tune like that, especially from the beat holes.
You know, what if he just went steamed in there in the same style with the doors?
Disgusting.
You know...
That's not acceptable.
It's wrong.
Hey, we should tell the listeners where we are.
When you joined us, we were just outside the walls of the castle.
And over the Christmas period, Adam and I are banished from the castle.
And we do our Christmas show from this little wooden shack here just outside the walls.
Um, they party too hard in there for us.
There's all sorts of carousing and, uh, that sort of thing.
Well, Chris Evans has taken over the whole of the castle.
He has.
He's throwing a celebrity party.
Hughie's there from the fun-loving criminals.
He's very drunk.
They've got John Sargent there, he's under heavy guard because of all the furious listeners who voted for him only to have him walk off the programme.
It's been a difficult year for the castle, everyone's a bit bruised and battered and so, you know, this Christmas party's going to be a mess and we don't want anything to do with it, right?
Absolutely not, no.
And you know you've got people like
Angela Rippon, she's photocopying her buttocks.
You know that Angela Rippon is the only female person from the castle that I could think of, and I don't even think she lives in this town.
She's not on the BBC anymore.
Who's a more famous lady from the castle?
Fiona Bruce, of course.
Fiona Bruce is photocopying her buttocks and handing them around.
You know, we asked her to come and party with us in our shack, but she wouldn't.
She refused.
No.
She said, and these are our actual words that I've just made up, you're insane.
Really?
And then she spat in my face.
Oh my God.
And that's not true.
So that's why we come here to this little shack and it's very cold in here but we've got some logs and some matches and we're gonna light up a fire soon.
Are you sure those are logs?
I'm pretty sure.
Let's just give them a little sparkle here.
That one says rocket.
Is that right?
Wow, we'll chuck it in anyway.
We're going to put them in this brazier, brazier, brazier.
Look at the size of that brazier.
There we go.
It's nice, it's coming up nicely.
It's might be fewer than matches.
Oh, slippin' time!
They're not logs!
They're the fireworks!
Pudsy!
It's okay, I weed on it.
Man, I can't see out of my left eye.
Hey, that's no, that's not a joking matter.
It's alright, my hand's just over it.
Oh, you just had your hand over there.
Wow, well, they're burning nicely now.
I've done a wee... Let me try again.
I weed on the last one to put out this conflagration, but now I'm gonna light another one.
There we go.
These are actual log logs.
No, these are bones.
Bones?
Yeah, they're bones from some of the people who've been fired from the castle this year.
and killed well they were actually exposed weren't they they were put on the hills and taken by the wolves they were flayed by the general public outraged members of the general public until our bones were exposed and then as is the tradition we then burn them in fiona bruce's brazil so it works in the castle they're giving off a lovely heat aren't they yeah
Oh, this is good.
Man, have you bought the champagne?
I've got the champagne.
Well, this is exciting, folks.
We'll tell you more about the way our Christmas show is going to go after this bit of music, OK?
Because we can't forget about the music just because it's Christmas, right?
Can we?
Please.
No, we can't.
Especially when Emmy the Great is on the menu.
Here's We Almost Had a Baby.
Hello, welcome back to our Christmas shack.
That was Emmy the Great with We Almost Had a Baby.
And you join us in a small... Sorry to interrupt, but imagine if the baby they almost had was Jesus of the Christ.
And imagine if they hadn't had it.
What would be the upshot?
No Christmas.
That's right.
No Christmas.
We wouldn't now be celebrating.
What would we be doing?
Worshiping a large stone effigy of Russell Brand.
Right.
Well good thing, good thing Jesus was born then, isn't it?
The world would be a filthy place.
It would be a narrow escape.
Hey listen, you join us in our little wooden hut outside the walls of the big British castle.
This is Adam and Jo with our special Christmas show and we are breaking with convention this week.
We're not having any of our regular features.
Instead we'd like you to join us round our crackling fire for some great music and some booze.
And even though it's just gone 9 in the morning as this show goes out, although we should remind you listeners that we are pre-recording this program.
We don't want to lie to you and make it out as if it's going out live because, you know, if you thought that and you found out that it wasn't the case, you would have every right to hunt us down, I'm opening the champagne, kill us where we stood.
And you know, it's wrong to drink before lunch as a rule.
That's true.
But on Christmas,
On the days around Christmas, it's alright, but you're only allowed to have shampers.
Yeah.
Right?
That's a breakfast drink anyway, don't you think?
I bought a can of lager with me.
You can't have lager!
Is that very wrong?
Champagne is a breakfast drink.
They serve it at McDonald's with the muffins.
Well, it's okay, because the lines become blurred around Christmas, because you go to a party, and then it's like, as long as you're not working.
But we are working.
Yeah, exactly.
So we've got to do the right thing.
You've got a bottle of Paul Roget there.
He's the head of six music, isn't he?
That was a favourite of Winston Churchill, I believe.
Is that so?
Yeah, this is the brand favourite by Churchill.
Nicely opened.
No spillage.
Very nice.
Unshowy, you know, because there are some people who make a big deal, they want to pop the cork, so they have it ricochet around the room.
Not corn, corn, the corn man.
Corn, what?
I would have had it ricochet.
Corn balls.
Yeah, that's your name.
I was suddenly worried that I couldn't say that.
The corn man.
What are you thinking?
Corn cakes.
Well, I thought you couldn't say balls, but of course.
Corn crackers.
They're used for sport.
Absolutely, but I think you're just some balls.
Come on, the world hasn't gone that mental.
Right.
Ooh.
Hmm.
Little bit of champagne for me.
Get the, um, fizzing.
Can you get the fizzing in the mic there?
I'm gonna angle my mic so you can hear the fizzing listeners.
Ooh.
Hello.
This is so decadent.
Touch me.
Touch my frilly knickers.
Merry Christmas.
Cheers, you got a little plastic glasses.
They were chinking, but you couldn't hear it.
And little shampers.
We'd like you to join us if you can, listeners.
Have a little early morning tipple.
It's fine.
Drinking at nine is fine.
As long as you don't have a pre-existing problem with alcohol.
Yeah, then stay away.
If you're on the wagon, stay away.
But if you can control yourself, have a little tipple.
You're going to feel shaky about 10 or 11.
You can control yourself.
But don't worry.
We'll feel shaky around 10 or 11 as well.
Well, it's trying to be sensitive to people with a drink problem, and you just say if you can control yourself.
Well, that's the problem, isn't it?
It's a tough time for people with a drink problem at Christmas, though, isn't it?
I mean, that's grim.
I say that as if I personally don't have a drink problem.
I am the one after all drinking champagne at 9 in the morning.
What about a free play from you now, Adam?
Already.
Yeah.
Isn't there time for the free play?
Yeah, fair enough.
So, for all my free plays, actually, that's not quite true.
I've got a couple of very mellow ones and one that's just a bit ludicrous.
I'm going to start with a very mellow one.
This is not specifically Christmasy, but it reminds me of Christmas.
It has a very Christmasy feel.
It's from Neil Young's album, Harvest Moon.
Is it called Harvest Moon, the album?
I think it is, and this is the title track Veron.
Enjoy.
You know, I like them all.
I just have two that I cannot stop listening to.
Yeah, but you know, I'm only joshing because in my book, two or three good tracks is enough these days.
These days it's true.
You can't expect like a whole album of Smashes.
Well, I'd say Fleet Foxes.
By Fleet Foxes, it's that album.
Everyone's a winner, yeah.
They just have different tempos, melodies, moods.
The two that I play all the time are the most sort of up-tempo, super catchy ones.
Well, it sets a nice mood, doesn't it?
It stays fairly consistent with it, that album.
It's ideal for a posh dinner party when you're not actually listening to the music.
What?
are the other great dinner party albums that have come out this year.
Yeah, anything by Kings of Convenience.
Very unintrusive.
Very good.
Sets a marvellous mood.
Zero seven, brilliant for a dinner party.
Terrific air with moon safari.
I mean, that's the classic.
Ultimate dinner party music.
That I'll always stick on.
Just doesn't intrude, but it's like having somebody in the corner of your room whispering
Everything's cool.
These people are cool.
Except in a French accent.
In French, yes.
Look at you.
There's a sexy girl.
She's sitting in the corner of the room.
It's okay.
She won't interrupt the dinner party.
Did you know that's something that all major record labels have is a department where there is a real dinner party happening?
And they test all the albums.
Before they release the album, they'll play it sort of on six, volume level six.
And there'll be some chitchat going on about the congestion charge.
Or maybe the Olympics.
Or the Millennium Dome.
Whether it's going to be a big white elephant.
Or the big issues of the day.
And if the album intrudes on people's trains of thought, then no, it's not released.
Yeah, right, they stick it in the indie bin.
If it just creates a lovely mood, without being intrusive, then it's a thumbs up.
That's how Blunt gets to be so successful.
Right.
And people like that.
And what about if it intrudes sufficiently for people to approve of it?
Like for someone to say, hey, this is great.
That's the ideal.
That's what you want.
You want a tiny lull in the conversation, for instance, the end of a sentence.
And that's why we're going to be paying the government back in tax for another 50 years.
Small break.
And then in the background.
I am a sexy girl.
Well, hello, this is a great album.
What's the song about?
Then you've won.
The dinner party success, the records are success.
It's all a success.
No, you're being intrusive now.
I can't think about taxes anymore.
That sexy farm girl.
I'm trying to talk about the credit crunch.
Are you?
That presumably has been the top dinner party conversation of the year, credit crunch.
Obama, the changes that Obama's going to make.
Obama.
Um, that would have been another hot one, uh, to, to have a conversation about this year.
What other conversation topics?
Obviously the whole BBC for a car would have been high on the list.
The frick-a-say.
The frick-a-see.
Thank you.
Uh, one of the things we do here on our Christmas show is we have a traditional exchange of gifts.
Yes, we buy each other three gifts
And they're wrapped.
We don't know what is inside the gifts.
There was a budgetary limit.
What's there this year?
Under ten quid.
Under ten quid for all three gifts.
In total.
In total, really.
Did I set that limit?
Yeah, you did.
Have you gone over it?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
It's unusual.
Not by much.
So don't worry.
And we're going to exchange these gifts.
And they're all very exciting.
So stay tuned for the big lifts.
Gifts, lifts.
So I'm going to go to sleep.
Drunk out of your mind.
I'm going to have a little nap while we play some music.
Here's Coldplay featuring Jay-Z.
I can't sleep during this.
Oh no, this is called Lost.
This is Adam and Jo here on BBC6 Music.
This is our pre-recorded Christmas show.
We're not actually live today.
We're actually coming from the future.
We are pre-recording this show on the 25th of December, Christmas Day, and we are sat here in our shack just outside the big British castle with a fire.
You might be able to hear the fire in the background there.
Can you just turn the fire up for a second there?
Well, I'll put another log on it.
It's not switch-controlled.
Thank you.
That's great.
There we go.
Oh, that's roaring.
Yeah, that's roaring.
And we are about to exchange our Christmas gifts.
In fact, I think we'll do so maybe after the news.
What kind of Christmasy news do you think they'll be?
Oh, very lovely things.
Right.
I mean, as this show goes out on the 20th of December, it's a few more days to go, a few more shopping days.
Maybe the news will be about Santa.
Maybe Santa's had a fall, but he's okay.
He's okay, yeah.
Ooh.
Tasty.
Christmas sounds.
That's the Beach Boys with Little Saint Nick, of course, one of my favourite Christmas songs.
And from the Beach Boys' Canons, surely the best of their Christmas offerings, and they had quite a few.
Wouldn't really know.
But, listen, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
It's our special Christmas show.
Little Harley, you know, Christmas isn't for a few days, but that's no reason not to get slightly drunk in the morning.
Yeah, which we are doing.
Which we're doing.
And we've got Joe brought in a bottle of champagne and we are sipping away in our plastic gloves.
Because it's time to relax, forget about work, you know.
Hopefully you've got your...
But shopping done.
Forget about all your responsibilities.
Yes.
Let yourself completely go, become a bit of a disgrace.
Yeah, don't rush.
No.
Don't bother to go to the loo.
Just do it in your trousers.
No.
You would go that far, would you?
No.
No, it's just an idea.
I need a yes or no.
I would say no.
No.
Okay.
But listen, to celebrate Christmas, we've bought each other prezzies.
We had a maximum budget of around £10 for three prezzies.
And over the next several hours, we'll be exchanging these mystery gifts.
Neither of us know what the other persons bought us, but they're sure to be brilliant.
Neither of us knows would be grammatically correct.
Neither of us know.
Is that really true?
Neither one of us knows.
You see?
You wouldn't say neither one of us know.
I think that sounds common.
No, you see?
Neither of us knows.
Uh, well, why don't you give me a prezzy then as punishment for being a snooty?
Man, I, you know, I'm, it's a disgrace that I would even pull you up on that.
When you have beautifully wrapped your presents this year, they're in special coloured paper, purple and turquoise, flowery turquoise, nicely wrapped as well, and there's a little variety of gifts there, which I don't think you're gonna get from me.
I'm afraid mine are pretty much all the same.
But anyway, I'm gonna start with, I don't even know what this is.
How can you not know what it is?
Okay, I know what this one is.
Did you get them bought for you?
I know what this one is.
Here we go.
Thank you very much.
This is exciting.
This might be the best of my gifts.
It's wrapped in a newspaper, listeners.
Yeah.
It seems to be the personal column from... The Telegraph.
The Daily Telegraph.
Classy wrapping paper.
Classy wrapping.
Sophisticated, snooty, right-wing, right-leaning wrapping paper.
Right-leaning wrappers.
Oh, Adam.
Well, that's a good present.
This is an issue of Sky Magazine from December 1988.
Twenty years ago to the month.
Sky Magazine used to kind of rule the pop culture roost, didn't it?
It was the first kind of sexy, glossy teen magazine that was a bit like, I suppose, a cross between the face and smash it somewhere in between the two.
Yes.
And it was very keen on European and international culture, it was sort of non-parochial.
The thing it incorporated, the trail it blazed, was the Dirty Path now trodden by Heat Magazine and all those kind of mags.
Do you think?
It was the first properly celebrity-centric mag that glamorised all that, and of course the heroes of that era with a Brat Pack, whom myself and Joe were obsessed by.
We wanted badly to be let into the Brat Pack.
Yes.
And Tom Cruise is on the cover of this issue.
He was, even though he wasn't strictly a brat-packer, he was like the king of the whole club in a way.
He was just breaking through with Top Gun, his first mega international smash.
Well, within that magazine, the article there is all about the fact that he's just shot Cocktail, of course, one of the Cruises' greatest films.
um color of money so this is that this is his peaks at this point right he's done top gun and the color of money yeah so he's a bona fide he's the world's hottest star he's an a-list certainly yeah it's set to be that way for the next 10 years yeah i must say that one of the most fascinating things about old mags is the adverts and there's a brilliant double page boots advert from 1988 here with all kinds of multi-colored idiotic goings on there's a woman that looks very like yaz
That was the kind of standard issue look for a... Yeah.
For a tall woman.
Like blonde with a lot of very red lipstick.
Very peroxide-y.
Uh, white, white ankle socks and black, um, sort of... DM.
What do they call it?
DM shoes.
Yeah, brothel creepers.
There you go.
Yellow plastic ghetto blaster there.
Oh, crazy business.
So let's have a look at what Adam's highlighted here.
In this 1988 issue of Sky.
Well, they're already recapping on the 80s, you see.
They're trying to sum up what defined the 80s in this issue, and they're looking forward to what's going to be the defining characteristics of the 90s.
Yes, the layout's very Network 7, isn't it?
Yeah.
Sort of target gun sights on everything, and very multi-coloured.
Ah, it says the 1980s are almost at an end.
As the style-conscious media-obsessed designer decade draws to a close, new values will surface from a morass of tandled chrome tubing, Gordon Gekko lookalikes, leather Filofaxes and broken Celnet phones.
Celnet phones.
Right.
Wow, they don't even call them mobiles.
No.
Wow, they don't even call them mobies.
Like in our favourite ad.
Well, if we could go back in time, we'd have a thing or two to say to Gordon Gacko.
Well, listen man, why don't you have a little read if you're Skymag?
We'll play a bit more music and we can come back and see if you picked anything out.
That is probably the best present I've got for you.
Right now, I think it's time for a free play, and this is one of yours, Joe.
What have you got for us?
Yeah, this is a Christmas track by the American band Weezer.
Have you heard of them?
I think I have.
Are they nerds?
Uh, they are, and here's what nerds sing at Christmas.
Christmas with David.
What do you think happens in the Bowie household over Christmas?
David Bowie.
Oh, Merry Merry Christmas.
I bought a sack of ties for the children.
I've bought some fixies.
They're doing dances in the fairground.
That's late Bowie.
Yeah.
Crept in there.
Don't know what he's on about.
Incidentally folks, that was OU Pretty Things recorded for Bob Harris.
Whispering Bob.
He lives in Paris.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
It's our special Christmas show.
Oh, we're getting slightly drunk on champagne a little bit early in the morning.
And we're exchanging gifts.
Adam's bought me a brilliant retro copy of Sky Magazine, the now defunct teen culture mag from 1988.
What a year.
And there's an amazing article here all about film special effects.
State of the art special effects.
The journalist has been to visit Industrial Light and Magic.
And the journalist says there's lots of exciting films coming out from ILM, including Willow, the $40 million fairy tale out next month.
Oh my gosh, the world held its breath.
And there's a fascinating... And then exhaled through its bottom.
It's a fascinating look into the future of special effects here in this issue dated 1988.
It says the next step is electronic image processing.
The brave new world of both effects and film in general is not all that far away.
Quote, in the future, everything will be done in post-production.
Add a little here, take away a little there.
For example, if the director wants a cloudy day for his story, but he shot it on a sunny day, instead of having to re-shoot, we could electronically change the sky colour for him in the studio.
Or add in some clouds.
Or a really bad character.
Or maybe some kind of floppy ear dog man called Jaja Binks, or a really annoying little elf man called Dobby.
Dobby bad Dobby.
Wow, what a prescient thing.
I'm gonna love that.
You know what I think?
Old magazines are more interesting than new ones.
I like them, you know, because they're a little snapshot of... Because, you know, obviously the thing about... Snapshot of what?
Finish your sentence.
What are their snapshots of?
the past of a moment in time what that seemed very new you know like magazines generally they're looking forward aren't they and they're predicting what's going to be just around the corner and it's fun to see how the predictions turned out you know what's new as well in 88 hole in the wall cash accounts right where you can get your money out of a bank you know yeah
Was that a new thing then?
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
They've got 3,000 of them, so they weren't that new.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, listen, I want a present now, too.
So why don't we play a little bit of Kaiser Chief's shaped music, and then after that, can I have my first present?
Yes.
OK.
Here are the chiefs.
That was delicious, a little bit of the Kaiser chiefs there.
This is Adam and Jo here on BBC Six Music.
We are pre-recording this show.
It's not actually live.
It's coming from sometime in the future.
And it's our Christmas celebration, listeners.
We're just sort of rambling here and giving each other presents and drinking a little bit of champagne.
So it's even more raggedy and baggady than it would usually be.
But, boy, it's really nice to have you along.
And Christmas, personally speaking, is my favourite time of year, and I mean that quite unironically.
You like Christmas, too.
I hate it!
Why was it like that?
No, I don't.
I like it a lot.
Yeah, I really like it.
It means you're allowed to do very little and not feel bad about it.
Yeah, that's right.
Just pure enjoyment.
I don't even know what's on TV this year.
Who cares?
Digital radio.
Right.
It's the future.
How many people are going to be getting DAB radios this year?
Everybody.
Everyone.
Channel 4, are there about to launch a whole lot of new stations?
It's gonna be big.
It's really exciting.
It's taking over the airwaves.
It's the future.
Everyone's jumping on the digital bandwagon.
It's the future of radio.
So listen.
I think it's time for my first present day.
Right.
Now, I'm gonna give you the smallest one.
Okay.
Only because it requires a little bit of a presentation and practice.
Oh my lord.
Give it a rattle.
Can you tell what it is?
What is it?
It's not like a little miniature screwdriver set.
Yes, it is.
No, it isn't.
If it was a cracker, you'd be very lucky.
That's the top of the range cracker present.
Last year, have you ever actually employed the... Yes, but the plastic comes off the metal bit.
Sometimes it bends.
They're totally used.
They're quite good if you want to unscrew, for example, a cassette.
Something very, very small and light.
So last year, you gave me a jaw harp.
So I did, yeah.
And I impaled my lip on it.
You split your lip almost immediately.
I wonder if this is another musical instrument.
You know, I went back to that same music shop.
They didn't have anything as good as the jaw harp.
So I went to a different shop.
What have we got here?
We have got... This is very mysterious.
It's a magic trick.
Oh no, is it really?
Yeah, and you have to read the instructions, practice it, and then perform it to me later in the show.
It's a proper magic trick, it's not some thing from Hamleys, it's from Davenport, the country's leading, I can't advertise them, there are many other magic shops, but...
Davenport's is a very good shop hidden under Charing Cross Station.
This is called the proper magic shop.
Demon Okito Box.
There are countless routines with this delightful prop.
Describe to the listeners what you've actually got there.
It's wrapped in a bit of toilet roll.
Wrapped in some Lavi roll, which I hope you've used.
I didn't.
I didn't wrap it.
That's how it came.
Wrapped in... Oh, did it?
Yeah, made the... whoever makes these.
It is actual real Lavi roll.
It's a real Lavi roll, so you can't use that.
Might have been used by a magician.
Okay, so we have what looks like a little brass money case, I suppose.
Yes.
Can you hear that there, listeners?
There's the lid fitting.
I said to the man in the shop, I said I want a fairly cheap trick that will work well on radio.
Right.
He looked at me like I was insane.
And then he went into the back room and looked around for ages, and this is the one he came up with.
Right.
And he sold it to me.
I didn't really want it.
I didn't think it was that good.
Yeah.
But he sold it to me with such passion that I thought I'd better have it.
Well, inside the little money box are three ten-penny pieces.
They seem to be real, which instantly raises the value of the present.
to 40 or maybe 50 pence.
So the desired effect is that you will put that 30 pence in that box, you'll close the lid, and it's solid brass, so there's no way those 10p's are gonna get out, and then you'll balance it on the back of your hand, and then the coins will pass through your hand and drop onto the floor.
No.
Yeah, if you do the effect right.
But it's not one of those tricks that operates itself, you actually have to figure out, you have to have a little bit of slice of hand to do it, so you have to practice it.
Have the box examined by us.
Don't tell the listeners the secret.
I'm not gonna tell us.
Hey look, as we're pre-recording this show.
Beautiful Lauren Laverne.
Let's get her in here.
She's walked in.
She's got a Christmas jumper.
She's got a fox on her jumper.
That's appropriate.
We're gonna have her in for the next link and she's gonna check Christmas with us.
Okay.
Uh, now here's some music to take us up to the top of the hour.
Awww.
Now, you know, every year we play kind of more or less the same music on our Christmas show like a lot of other people.
But, um, I never grow tired of hearing this.
You know, it's the best Christmas song ever written.
What?
Maybe one of the best songs ever written.
What?
It's The Pogues with Very Tale of a New York.
Oh, not that again.
Come on, Grandpa.
Bleh.
I love that song.
That was The Mystery Jets.
I do love that song.
You think I'm joking?
I do like that song a lot.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
It feels like a record from 1988.
Just because you hate them.
I don't hate them, as do you.
It's been a wonderful year for the Jets.
Up with the Jets.
I can't wait for more Jets in 2009.
It's a jolly bit of poppery.
That sounds like it's from the 80s.
This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music.
This is our pre-recorded show coming from our little Christmas shack just outside the big British castle.
We have a fire going here to keep us toasty because it's very cold.
Exchanging gifts, Adam's given me a copy of Sky Magazine from 1988.
There's a big profile of Stephen Fry.
The kindly, slightly nervous Fry was hauled up in front of a live TV audience for an evening of comedy improvisation for Channel 4's new Call My Bluff style team game.
Whose line is it anyway?
Wow, that was new then.
That was new in 1988.
Can you believe it?
you go.
Should he do the Wogan show again or should he hold out for Asple?
Young Stephen Fry.
He was 32 then.
I wouldn't hold out for Asple.
I would hold out for Asple.
He doesn't have a show anymore.
Really?
No.
Incidentally, we mentioned earlier on that Lauren Laverne is currently in the studio next door to us.
We didn't realize that she was chatting to Frank Skinner, the frightening stand-up comedian.
She can't come and talk.
to us.
She can't come to us, she's too busy.
Have you seen the cover of Frank Skinner's latest live stand-up DVD?
You showed it to me.
He is standing there with a microphone up to his mouth and he is what he appears to be snarling.
His teeth are bared and his teeth look like the teeth of an alien from the film Alien and there's a light shining behind him.
He looks absolutely terrifying as if he's just not only about to tell you a joke but afterwards bite your face off.
Mmm.
And, um, it's, you know, it just seems like a very frightening... I think he's a very handsome man with lovely teeth.
Well, he is in real life.
I mean, we just saw him there and, uh, we were talking about the fact that, you know, we're fellow Fall fans, myself and, um... Frank?
Frank Skinner.
Took on his names, the champagne... The champagne kicking in.
We're drinking champagne listeners because it's Christmas.
And he was talking about the fact that Mark E. Smith from The Fall has recorded a load of apparently unironical like Christmas carols.
He just sort of sings Christmas carols in his wonky way.
I'm going to be playing a song by The Fall a bit later on in the show.
Mine is more jokey.
It's called Christmas with Simon, but that's not for a bit.
But talking of jokey music, it's time to revisit one of our song wars entries from last Christmas where we both recorded Christmas-related
Songs.
And this is my one.
This is a special Christmas song.
Now you won with this one, didn't you?
Yeah, I wiped the floor.
But yours is very good.
Thanks.
It is, you know, often the ones that win aren't the best ones.
Well, that's the way.
As we know from all great listener-based competitions.
The way it is in life.
You know, Gareth Gates might win, but Will Young's the overall winner.
Do you know what I mean?
I think I do.
Listen to my champagne.
If I believe.
Anyway, here's Christmas shopping at the all-night garage.
What?
Oh no!
It's nine o'clock on Christmas Eve and I ain't got no presents yet.
What am I gonna do?
I'll have to go down to the all night garage.
All night garage, all night garage, Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
Hello there, mate.
How are you doing?
I've got to buy some stuff and my Christmas will be real.
DVD abyss of fuel.
That'll have to do, I'm not quite sure if my army Doris appreciates the oeuvre of Chuck Norris but I've left it late and it's beginning to rain and on Christmas Day she can't complain.
All night garage, all night garage, Christmas shopping at the all night garage, all night garage, all night garage,
night garage, all night garage, Christmas shopping at the all night garage, all night garage, all night garage, Christmas shopping at the all night garage.
Listen mate, I've got to go, come here for everything, I'm on my stroke.
At times like this I can't help but feel I wish Santa Claus was really real, I asked myself what would Jesus do?
Perhaps he'd give his dad an old bottle of booze from the cupboard, forget
Joe, what's this you got me?
Delta Force 2 and a cigarette lighter.
Oh, thank you, you shouldn't have.
There we go, some amateur music there, composed and performed by me, Joe Cornish, for our song wars.
And, you know, be nice to it, because it's Christmas.
Exactly.
You have to enjoy, you know, be benevolent towards little lame songs like that, that come hobbling up to your door, asking...
for maybe an old chicken wing.
That's even better.
That's the better of the two that we're going to be playing.
Later on, I'm going to be playing my Christmas song, which, compared to that tiny Tim of an offering, is an absolute turkey.
Oh, I disagree.
I think yours is very good in its own special way.
Special, special being the operative word.
Now, I want to talk to you, Joe, about Christmas lights.
I mean, it's the kind of thing that... After all this time, finally, we're going to talk about Christmas lights.
I think it's time we did.
I feel we know each other sufficiently well.
It's been bubbling under the surface for years now.
Exactly.
Finally, we can confront it.
And it's something I want to get off my chest.
Yes.
You know Oxford Street?
Yes, I do.
where all the Oxes go to do their farting.
In the centre of London, Oxfart Street boasts the main light show for Christmas, right?
Yes.
If you can call it that.
And also on Regent Street.
Are the Regent Street lights and the Oxfart Street lights the same?
Oh no, they're very different.
Maybe I'm thinking of Regent Street.
This year, listeners, if you haven't been to London for the spectacular light show, let me tell you that in Regent Street they have got what appear to be large cobwebs suspended between the buildings.
All the cobwebs are lined as if with beads of glowing dew with white lights.
Sounds beautiful.
It does sound beautiful, doesn't it?
It really isn't.
Why not?
It's totally underwhelming.
Are they sponsored by somebody?
No.
Because for the last five or six years the Oxford Street lights have been sponsored by whatever DVD Disney are putting out.
Well that's one good thing about them, I'll give you that, because it's always very deeply depressing to see Shrek or something.
Yeah.
Grinning down at you from where should be beautiful lights.
At least that is not the case this year.
But cobwebs
I mean, what is that?
Is that like a little prescient nod to the way that things are going to be next year in Oxford Street with the credit crunch?
Are you sure they're not snowflakes?
Well, maybe, but they certainly look like the work of Shelob, the giant spider from the Lord of the Rings, you know what I mean?
I think cobwebs can be very Christmasy.
If they've got lovely beads of dew, you should imagine those lights like little beads of dew and it's Charlotte's web.
I was the spider I ate earlier on.
that's a good idea it's a very good idea i think you know in the there was a year was it in the 80s or 90s when they had lasers for the first time on oxford street do you remember that year maybe it was even in the 70s it was when lasers were very new it was when the empire lester square the big cinema and lester square had a laser light show before the main performance lasers were where it was at yeah
And I remember going with my mummy and daddy up to Oxford Circus to see the lasers.
Why have they moved away from lasers?
Are they dangerous?
Well, they're just not.
You can't bend the light.
They're just a straight line of light.
Angelina Jolie could bend the light.
Well, she can bend anything.
Yeah.
She's a bender.
Sorry, my mind was... Dan, I was thinking about... He's imagining his only bending thing.
Just bending.
Where are we?
The lasers.
Why'd they move away from the lasers?
Anyway, they were very disappointing because it was just one green line, or maybe two at the most, going in a straight line from one end of Oxford Street together.
I wasn't disappointed with that.
I was.
I was thrilled.
I thought it was very bad.
A laser!
Look, Daddy, a laser!
Like Luke Skywalker.
Yes, but his ended a few feet above the handle of his lightsaber.
This one just went on and on and on.
I think they should bring the lasers back.
Here's my idea of what they could have next year, right?
Instead of the cobwebs, how about this?
Just what appear to be huge great strands of drool.
Christmas drool.
As if it was coming out of the corner of Grandpa's mouth.
Right.
He's had too much to eat, fallen asleep.
Or as if a colossal chav had just flobbed on Oxford Street.
Right.
You know, and instead of the glistening dew there, you've got glistening gob and they've got little white lights or whatever.
You could even have little yellow lights if you had a kind of vomit motif.
Well that's revolting and that wouldn't be suitable for children.
Ah, ah, you say that.
But?
But that's the way the world's going.
Right, I've got a better idea.
What?
You get classic Christmas animals.
What are your classic Christmas animals?
A robin, red breast.
Right, that's a Christmas animal.
Bambi, the Christmas deer.
Not talking about the original Bambi, talking about the Christmas one.
It doesn't exist.
What are the other Christmas animals?
Reindeer.
Rudolph.
Yeah.
But you'd mix them up with some other ones that are confused because of global warming.
Like the island of Dr. Moreau.
Yes.
You'd have a tiger and a lion looking confused and scared.
You'd have the sun, a really bright sun and some suntan lotion.
Do you know what?
You'd mix it up.
Right.
Because seasons don't exist anymore.
No, it doesn't get cold over Christmas.
It's going to be a very mild Christmas, probably.
You could have a giant polar bear, right, on a melting ice cap.
And the tears coming out of his eyes would be like little lights.
Sponsored by ESO?
So it's pretty exactly.
Sponsored by ESO.
And because they're aware of it.
You know, they don't have to be doing anything about it.
No, they're doing something.
It's only a very small thing, but they're shouting very loud about the small thing.
They're well aware of the problem.
That's the main thing, is to be aware of it.
That's a terrific idea.
They'd be lovely lights.
It's better than doing something about it.
Easter eggs as well, why not?
That's a good idea.
Get people thinking about Easter nice and early.
Just mix them all up, mix in the toasties.
Nice.
Have them up there all, yeah.
Cheers.
Here's a free play for you listeners.
Now, I don't know if you caught a documentary on BBC Four this year about E from the Eels, the lead singer of the Eels.
He was on a mission to find out about his father who died when he was very young.
And his father was a genius physicist who came up with the theory of parallel universes, right?
It was a whole experimental branch of quantum mechanics and quantum physics.
that this guy was a genius in.
It's a wonderful documentary.
Parallel lives, parallel worlds, I think it's called, or the other way around maybe.
Anyway, this is a track by the Eels, and it's very wistful and touching about his father, his late father, and I hope you enjoy it.
I think it's Christmasy.
It's things the grandchildren should know.
That was the specials with Rap Race.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music.
Coming to you from our little shack outside the walls of the big British castle where we've got a lovely crackly fire going.
Yeah, that's not just static you're hearing in the background.
That's actual fire being played from an actual CD.
It's hard to create any kind of sort of imaginary world when you're not allowed to lie on the BBC.
Yeah, it's true, isn't it?
Everything becomes very cold and stark and real.
Ofcom basically... Doesn't want any imagination to exist.
That's not true, of course.
They are an independent body who are just trying to uphold decent standards in broadcast.
That's true.
It's really good to have you with us listeners.
Christmas is both of our favourite times of year and we're exchanging presents today.
I've already got from Joe a magic trick.
How are you doing with it?
It's quite a tricky one and it requires some practice.
Well, let me just tell you if you haven't been listening so far that it's like a little brass
coin holder, and the trick is that you... In fact, it is a little brass coin holder.
Yes, exactly.
I don't know if it's actual brass.
Is it?
I don't know.
Anyway, the trick is that you hold it in your palm, you place a couple of coins in there, and then you ask the other person to inspect the holder and the lid, and then you pop the lid on.
But what you do...
Don't tell them the secret.
The challenge is you got to perform it.
All right, okay, here we go.
You just referred to me by my stage name there.
Mr. Magico.
I used to do magic when I was a teenager.
Joe is actually very good at magic and I always tell this story before but once when we were studying for our O-levels, history O-level, we had the next day and Joe and I rather than studying
went off and just hung out in Joe's room in his house in South London.
And Joe suddenly showed me all these amazing magic tricks.
I did not know that he could perform.
Not only did he perform them, he performed them very well and convincingly.
And I was absolutely bowled over.
It's weird when you suddenly find a whole new part of your best friend that you never realized existed.
So I said, you know, man, that's amazing.
How do you do it?
Mr. Magico wouldn't tell me.
And I said, no, seriously, how do you do it?
He wouldn't tell me.
He refused to tell me because he said that's not what magicians do.
Magicians keep it.
I was like, yeah, but you're not a magician.
You're Joe.
You're my friend.
No, he is.
Oh, I am.
I'm Mr. Magico and I'm not going to tell you.
It turned into quite a tense evening.
I'm giving you the gift of magic, though, and you were just about to tell everybody how to do it, you see.
Yeah, okay, I'm not gonna tell them.
But here we go, look, uh... Listen, let's play some music and I'll carry on practicing this.
Alright, keep practicing.
Here are the avalanches with Since I Left You.
You're listening to Adam and Jo's specially pre-recorded Christmas show.
Time now for the news.
Listen, as we've just been joined, in fact, what we did was just grabbed as they were passing by.
Frank Skinner and Lauren Laverne, who were just pre-recording a show there next door, thanks for joining us quickly.
Oh, I like the impromptu nature of it all.
It's crazy, isn't it?
Frank, I was just talking to Jo earlier on about your live DVD and the fact that the cover, on the cover, you look as if you're about to bite someone's face off.
Yes.
I mean, is that, was that a conscious thing to, like, get quite a frightening, aggressive pose there, teeth bared, like, as if you're gonna eat someone?
Well, I had a gold tooth at the time, and I really wanted to get that in the picture, so that's where I needed to show.
I don't have it anymore, because, you know, the credit crunch.
Did you have, did you have other ones that you were, er, considering, like maybe biting into an apple?
Or, you know, erm... I can't remember what I was thinking.
At the dentist.
Is it a bit, does it come off regressive, that picture?
Erm, like if your eyebrows were, were a little angrier, you would look like an alien.
Yeah.
Just about to eat someone.
Well, yeah, my eyebrows happily were quite chilled at the time.
I think it comes across as edgy and handsome, and very, very viable.
I think you just look like you're laughing really hard.
I prefer that.
Yeah.
Edgy and handsome, though.
Two of the best fallbacks England ever had.
We were talking about Edgy.
We don't understand football.
You know what human names are?
Just about.
So listen, this is our special Christmas show.
So we want to know what Christmas plans you've got.
Lauren LaVone, what's Christmas in the LaVone household?
Oh, it's going to be really hectic this year.
It's the second year where we're having everyone come to us.
So it's like all the parents.
What time shall we be there?
Well, be there.
I think about two o'clock.
Okay.
Everyone will be staying over, so it's going to be ridiculous for about a week, I think, and lots of people.
But obviously, I have little baby now.
Well, he's one, actually.
So everybody kind of comes to see him.
So it's very much kind of quite, you know, you know, in China where they have the one child policy and then all the first, the first born sons are extremely spoiled and the whole family focuses on them.
It's that kind of vibe, really.
Nobody's there for anybody else.
We're all just there for the baby.
They bring him loads of frankincense and myrrh and stuff.
I know.
It's sort of less stable-based but quite like the original Nativity in some ways.
How festive are you, Frank?
Actually, I saw a family like that.
I was in a cafe and they did that.
They put the child up and they sat around him like you'd sit around a telly.
Or a fire.
You do.
And I thought, have these people had a child so they don't have to speak to each other anymore?
And they just sat speaking through him.
It was fabulous.
You should lay your baby in straw for Christmas.
Yeah.
Don't you think that would be nice, picturesque?
Maybe not for him.
It was good enough for Jesus, Lauren.
Fun Christmas card idea though, what do you think when you get Christmas cards from people with children and they've dressed them up in like festive gear and stuff?
We were just talking about dressing the babies up.
I'm all for that.
I got my first Christmas card yesterday and they'd forgotten to write anything, aren't they?
Can you believe that?
Was it an impressive picture?
Were they too excited by the... I don't mind route one on a Christmas car.
I, of course, will be staying at my flat for the whole of Christmas.
I say that because I know there's a lot of burglars listening to this thing.
I'll do what I do every year.
I'll get my presents and I'll put them in a bag and then I'll leave them in that bag for the rest of the year.
I still find bags of presents from past Christmases with stuff I don't want.
Yeah, I forgot.
But you get good stuff as well.
Yeah, someone bought me a bridal-themed Rubik's Cube.
Wow!
Where do you even get that?
You spin it round.
I imagine an art gallery.
I don't know.
You spin it round and it makes different, um, you know, hauntingness now.
That would be like the hardest Rubik's Cube ever.
How much can you have going on in a Rubik's Cube?
You're like, must of a million.
Yes, I am.
Do the Christmas gifts mean nothing to you?
What about taking them to Barnardo's?
Does it ever...
You can't take a bride or a bag through Bixkew to Bernardo.
Kids love that kind of surrender.
And also the biggest book I get I use as a tray to carry the other gifts around the house.
I'm going to just stand outside your house and hope that you throw me some tip bit.
Lauren and Frank, thank you so much for popping your heads in.
Have a good Christmas.
And man, you can always send us some of that stuff.
Well I'll see what's left.
I think I've got a bit of stuff from 92 you might be interested in.
We'll have it, we'll have it.
Thanks very much, happy Christmas guys.
Bye bye.
So you hold this right and then look over there, look at that thing on the wall.
Look, I've dropped the coins through and they're on the floor now.
That's rubbish.
Before they were inside the box and now they've fallen through my hand onto the floor.
Magic is something that should be taken seriously.
I am.
You shouldn't expect a magic trick to work itself.
That's child's play.
You're a grown man.
You're old enough to deal with proper sleight-of-hand magic.
That's the simplest trick in the shop.
I said to him, I want a trick that an idiot monkey could do.
Well... And he said, this is the one.
He said, if your friend can't do this, then he's the stupidest...
Man.
Well, I just, I was doing it.
That was misdirection.
Look over there, I said.
There you go, you're looking.
It's tricky.
Look, like coins are falling on the floor.
Hey, this is Adam and Joel on BBC6 Music.
You just heard Senses working overtime by XTC.
We're in our Christmas shack.
We've got a roaring fire going.
We're not in a shack.
There's no roaring fire.
Off gone.
We can't lie to you.
But just imagine, there is a shack and a fire, and we're exchanging gifts, because that's the tradition.
I tell you what there really is.
And that's champagne.
The champagne is not fake.
The champagne is very good.
What would you say?
Two thirds of the way through the bottle?
Yeah.
And Adam's decided to open a can of lager.
That's like, I don't know what that's like, but it's like putting ketchup all over a cordon bleu meal.
James, our producer.
Is this actually against the rules?
I mean, presumably, drinking at work, you're not supposed to, are you?
Is it?
In moderation.
If you're a presenter, it's Christmas and one of the rules of Christmas is that you are allowed to drink a little bit in the morning.
That's why I'm having a lovely little modest fruity toot of champagne and Adam's having an old stinky can of lager.
like a wino outside the train station.
But listen, present time, I think it's your turn to give me one.
Adam's already given me an old copy of Sky Magazine from 88.
I gave him a magic trick that he's still rehearsing.
And now here is definitely a book shaped present from Adam.
It's a paper book.
I can feel that.
It's wrapped in the sports pages of the Telegraph.
to the future we sent him back home but would be angry if Liverpool's captain I'm getting um he's reading their paper he's reading the wrapping paper that's probably the best bit oh oh well I very nearly bought you this it's Gary Barlow's uh biography autobiography called My Take
Now, if you were, if, say we became famous, instead of like a sort of footnote.
Annoyance.
Yes.
In the margins.
What would your biography be called?
Because Roger Morse was called My Name is My Bon, My Word is My Bon.
Right.
Well, I guess it's got to involve the title of the thing you're the most famous for, but with a new spinach on it.
A little bit of spinach on the top.
I'm not Joe exclamation mark right or don't call me Joe or something Yeah, I mean it depends it like if I'd done something on my own merits.
Yeah, it's unlikely that it's unlikely, isn't it?
So it would probably be related to the fact that we used to do toy movies You know something like don't toy with me or just toying with you or something like that even though we haven't made one of those for about ten years That's what it would be called
Have you found a good bit?
Like, I earmarked a little good passage.
Was that his?
Yeah, let me see, yeah.
That's exciting.
This is the bit where Gary's talking about the fact that he's got into trouble doing an interview with The Sun, where they've misquoted him and he... Like, they've taken some comments he made about drugs and they've made it look as if he's just...
being binging on coke.
But he's furious because he thinks that Robbie Williams has been saying things like this for ages.
Read it out.
And everyone loves him for it.
Here, you can read it out.
But as soon as Gary starts talking about drugs, he's like a mess, right?
But he just cannot.
The whole book is peppered with references to the fact that
he's just really very jealous of Robbie.
The press loved Robbie for his frailties and September 88 let me entertain you entered the charts at number three while life through a lens stayed in the charts for the whole of 98 and yet despite this success Robbie continued to be seen as the troubled artist people love that especially here in the UK and his greatest weakness became the most attractive thing about him and a big strength
Does he talk like that?
Exactly, like it was weird.
When you were doing it, it gave me chills.
It was hard at that point not to wonder if Robbie was hyping up his drugs problem, because I'd seen so little evidence of it when we were in the band, sorry, int band, if that makes Robbie sound manipulative.
Well he is.
He is manipulative.
To the extent that Barlow thinks that he would be faking a drug problem, that's not a theory I'd ever heard before about.
I love Barlow.
I love him.
He's so sensitive.
Elsewhere he complains.
I'm a bit drunk so minor emotions are being amplified.
I love him.
He's amazing.
I love him.
I love the fact that he got so depressed when the band broke up that he just didn't go to bed for a year or something.
I want to be that depressed.
Imagine being able to go to bed for a year.
Like Brian Wilson.
Oh, I'd like to do that.
People would think you were a heroic loser.
But, you know, he had the last laugh, though, didn't he, Barlow?
He did, because now he's... a-dosa?
No, now he's a very successful songwriter.
He won the Ivan Novello Award.
Did he?
Which is only received by the greatest songwriters in the nation, such as Daniel Bedingfield.
We'll probably get it for one of our Song Wars songs.
I hope so.
But no, Bart Barlow's doing extremely well, because of course, Take That are now more popular than Williams.
And in fact, they're doing some telly special, aren't they, this Christmas?
Right.
It may have already been on by the time this goes out, but Williams is going to be in the audience.
How are they going to play it from now on, though?
I mean, what they should do, right, is about that.
The reform take that.
The reform take that, because they're never going to be able to... Yes, they are.
...continue that level of success.
Yes, they are.
They're now in a zone only occupied by Cliff Richard.
Right.
They're Teflon, they're... Do you seriously think that?
Yeah.
No.
I think there's an audience that will see them until they die.
Really?
Yeah, I do.
Wow.
Yeah, there we go.
That's a horrific box.
Okay.
Let's have some more music.
You have to with that present, man.
Yeah, that's a great present.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks.
How much did that cost you?
That was reduced.
And it was $290.
Well, I'm going to be giving you a present that's going to blow that out of the water in a second.
Until then, here's a Christmas free play.
This is by, you know, an American band of eccentric guitarists.
You play this every year.
I do.
I play all three of my free plays every year.
They're my only sort of rocky Christmas songs that I know, but I love this one.
It's kind of a cover of Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown music, right?
They've put lyrics to it.
It's called Christmas Time is Here.
This is by a band called Chomsky.
That was the wonderful vampire weekend.
It's been their year, hasn't it?
I mean, that was recorded for a live session in the hub here at BBC Six Music, and that was A-Punk, of course.
I wonder what they're going to be doing.
I mean, you would hope they would come out with a new album next year.
I'm sure.
But, I mean, they should relax, though.
They should take it easy.
The thing that pop stars always say when they look back on their careers is, I wish we had left it longer between the big successful album and their follow-up.
Right.
And I wish we'd savored it more and just enjoyed the whole process.
And worked harder to make the follow-up album good.
Right, exactly.
Rather than just got back in the studio and churned it out.
What was the previous trendy New York band?
What were they called that everyone was listening to in about 2000?
The Strokes.
What's happened to them?
Well, they're around.
I mean, they're on the cover of The Enemy a few months ago.
So are they still... Do you think that these days, you know, these bands burn so brightly?
Do you think it's impossible for them to kind of sustain?
Certainly.
I mean, the best days of the strokes are probably long gone.
How long did their time last?
A couple of years?
I mean, the first two albums were good, but even by the second album, people were saying, oh, dear, this is not a patch on, this is it, and then the... is this it, rather?
And then the third one wasn't really not very good.
And do you think Vampire Weekend will transcend that kind of petty...?
Hard to say.
They could go... there's a couple of good things about the album, if they pursued, would be wonderful.
There's a couple of not-so-good things if they went down that road.
Do you think it's anything to do with the name?
Do you think you can tell how much longevity a band has by how clever and different their name is?
Yeah.
Okay.
It's a theory.
It's an interesting one.
The Strokes came at a time when every band was called The Something, right?
Yeah.
It was a name that there were lots of other bands.
For instance, yeah.
The Vines.
Yeah.
The Beatles.
The Rolling Stones.
The Pogues.
Yeah.
Whereas Vampire Weekend, it's a peculiar name.
Those are the three big bands.
The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and The Vines.
Yes, no, I think you're right.
Vampire Weekend is a bit eccentric, I know what you mean.
But there again, Arctic Monkeys, that's a stupid name for a band.
And they've got the staying power.
And they have absolutely got the staying power.
Oh, certainly.
Oh, absolutely they do.
Can I have some more champagne?
Yes, you can have some more champagne.
Just to remind you, listeners, we're coming from our little shack of lies just outside the big British castle where we've got a lovely warm log fire slipping into the Aussie accent there just for complete comfort.
And now it's time for some super music.
That's what Australian DJs say.
Is that what Australian radio is like?
Yeah.
And now it's time for some super music.
That's a good song though, isn't it?
Yeah, it's a good song.
It's Sly and the Family Stone with Dance to the Music from 1968.
Do you think it has anything to do with the novel Dance to the Music of Time?
Yeah, it was Anthony Pohl based the book on that song.
Right, really?
I think not.
No.
This is Adam and Jo here.
We're in our shack.
Did you say that already?
No, we are in a Christmas shack.
We're in a Christmas shack.
We've been giving each other presents.
We've got champagne.
We can't stand what happens in the big British castle.
At Christmas, there's a big party.
It's been a tricky year for the castle, so everyone's gone insane.
Chris Evans is, I think, naked and mooning over the tower.
You know, because you know when, how it is at a company, right?
When there is a bit of stress and strain and people have really been through the mill, right?
And then finally they're allowed to let their hair down.
You know, everyone just goes mental.
So you got to get out, right?
Because, I mean, we were sort of dilettantes at the castle.
We just turn up on the weekends.
You know, we're not regulars.
We're not staffers in that way.
We're not down there with the troops in that way.
No, in the trenches.
Yes, so we don't really feel we belong when everyone's photocopying their Butox and crying at each other and punching each other in the gonads and stuff.
We feel that we should maybe get out and just be on our own.
Yeah.
So we're having our own little party here with you listeners in our shack just outside the walls.
We've got a roaring lock fire that you can hear in the background and a little record player and some records we're going to be playing.
Plus we're exchanging gifts.
It's very exciting.
I've already got an old copy of Sky Magazine and Gary Barlow's autobiography.
Take that.
No, my take.
updated with the story of the comeback of all comebacks.
Oh, he does have the comeback story in it.
Yeah, he's written an extra chapter, so I'm looking forward to reading that.
Thank the Lord.
Thank the Lord that take that aback.
You know, that's part of what Christmas is all about, is thanking the Lord for the fact that Gary Barlow's autobiography has an extra addendum.
Isn't it just?
One of the many things from the 90s that are coming back and are bigger than ever before, like us.
All right, that's what I was building up to.
I was wondering what you were... Remember when we were on telly?
Yeah.
Got recognised in the street?
No, I don't remember that.
That kind of thing?
Over ten years ago.
And we're coming back?
Are we?
No.
I've got a meeting next week with a guy at a TV company.
Well, there you go, you're coming back.
Shall I pitch him some ideas with you and me?
Definitely.
Yeah?
All right, I'll let you know how it goes in a few years.
My film career is soon going to go tits up.
Well, Freddie hasn't even started yet.
I know, but it's only a matter of time.
We might as well lay the ground knows where we'll be this time next year in the shack right well the things we will have achieved I would say Very little almost nothing still treading water.
Yeah, so it's prezzy time listen.
I'm gonna give you a present now Adam.
This is a really good one What do you think it is give it a rattle these are real presents?
We're not allowed to tell any lies on this program from the shack and the fire
That is a double CD box of some description.
Yep, it's a double CD.
There might even be four CDs in there.
Wow.
What could it be?
Oh, I would say, here's a wild guess, I would say for £3 or is it £2.99, hits of the 80s.
No.
Wrong.
I'm not like that.
I wouldn't go that low.
I was thinking of getting that for you.
Is that proper prezi?
Proper prezi, yes.
Oh!
Listen, it's the psychic adventures of Derek Acora, read by the author, star of TV's Most Haunted, or as my friend Dougie and Kelly call it, mostly ghostly.
Now strip off that shrink wrap because we want to look at some of the title headings.
Is there like a list of all the tracks in there?
There is.
Can I just say, despite the fact that it is a double box, are there only two CDs in there?
There's only two CDs.
Here is the disappointing track listing, right?
I'm reading.
Track one, four minutes twenty-two.
Track two, five minutes eight.
There's no individual names.
They don't specify what happens, so let's take a guess at what point in his life do you think is the most... How many chapter headings are there?
There are 14 on the first CD and 15 on the second.
Okay, so that makes 29, so let's say... How old do you think he is?
50 something?
At least.
So we need to go about two thirds into his life, wouldn't you say, before he gets onto Mostly Ghostly?
I would say if we go to the second CD, round about track six, we will be right in the middle of the ectoplasm.
We're gonna play some music, then we'll be right back with a randomly selected highlight from the Psychic Adventures of Derek Acora.
Wow.
uh here's a little bit of pulp for you ladies and gentlemen that was puke with miss shapes this is adam and joe on bbc6 music coming to you from our christmas shack we've been exchanging gifts and i just gave adam one of the most extraordinary and exciting things i think i've ever given him
This is a double CD entitled The Psychic Adventures of Derek Acora.
Now, if you don't know about television or Derek Acora, let me tell you that he is the host of TV's Most Haunted.
Well, come on, I think Yvette is the host.
I suppose she is.
He is the practicing psychic.
He's Britain's most psychic man.
Now, may I make an admission to you?
I've never watched a whole episode of Most Haunted.
Nobody has.
I hear.
It's too scary.
And so I'm not that familiar.
All I understand about Ikora, tell me if I'm wrong, is that he wanders through these houses in the darkness and he occasionally channels the spirits.
Occasionally.
They're bombarded with spirits.
There's more ghost activity in one episode of Most Haunted than there is in the entire literature of hauntings.
And when a spirit wafts up Derek's bottom area and out through his mouth, he will use a new voice to express the... Well, he's a medium, so he's channeling the spirits.
But I'm asking, does his voice change and stuff when he channels?
I'm not cynical, I'm asking.
I think it's sad.
That you have such cynicism.
I mean, when you die and can't quite manage to go through to the light.
I'll be tapping on Ikora's detox.
You'll be desperately hammering on this.
I've got a couple of things to say, Mr. Ikora's.
No, you did not believe.
Oh, but please, please, I won't be a second.
No.
Anyway, we've chosen at random a chapter from Disc 2 of Okora, right?
Because we're hoping this will be some kind of a behind-the-scenes insight.
We've had champagne, sorry listeners.
Behind-the-scenes insight into his activities and mental.
Let's have a little random listen.
Where is he at?
bereavement.
The most difficult part of our lives here on this earthly plane is when the time comes for us to part physical company with people who have meant so much to us.
Yes.
In fact, they may have moved on physically, but they have not gone away from us.
This is a bit much, isn't it?
Let's find one that isn't bereavement.
It's all going to be bereavement though, isn't it?
deals with ghosts yeah but then well they're the fun side of bereavement bereavement is sort of germane to most haunted though isn't it it's true but you know that's the for every ghost is the most ugly side of that kind of thing because what's the other side of it the fun the fun the rubbish that made up nonsense the fact that they prey on people who've been recently bereaved
is the ugly side of what a chorus trade is.
Oh, I see.
You want the balls of light or something?
Yeah, I want him being... having little stones thrown at him in the... Skip on to track seven minutes.
I had to deal with a situation which involved a case of suicide.
That's his trick, isn't it?
I mean, it's not a laugh-a-thon, isn't it?
It's bereavement, suicide, it's death, basically, obviously.
Yeah, but let's cut to the ghosts.
I was saddened by Pamela's letter, but was grateful that she had at least gained some comfort from my words.
Comfort?
Comfort.
I knew that her husband would have entered the world of spirit, and after a period of recuperation... Spirit.
...would have gently been guided through... The world of henna spirit.
Obviously, it's all gonna be about bereavement.
This does not detract from the fact that it's a wonderful Christmas present.
Skip on one more.
Last one.
Connections.
Chapter heading, not okora.
That's not it.
It's a coast.
Walking along Santa Monica Pier was almost like walking along any UK coastal resort pier.
That is true.
There were fairground rides.
Only in America.
But a head of me people were fishing into the deep waters of the Pacific Ocean.
Also there were ghosts.
And pelicans were dipping in their search for dinner.
Also ghosts.
They were dead.
Pacific Palisades, home to many famous Hollywood stars, could be seen in the distance to my right.
And to the left, they abandoned almost yellow smog.
All that could be seen... Smog?
The great city of Los Angeles.
Well, people like us will never get to go to California like Derek or Cora did.
Alright, so we've learned, this is no reflection on Cora's CD, it may be very exciting, but we've learned that he doesn't get stuck into the ghosts at the beginning of each chapter, alright?
That's what we've learned.
I can't wait to listen to the rest of it, but that's enough.
Now, you know, I thought it would be a joke, but Okora is difficult to laugh at because, erm, some... Says Adam, lifting a can of lager to his lips.
You know, there's a fun side to Most Haunted, of course, there are people who...
stupid people who say that it's made up on a ridiculous sort of pantomime-style charade.
But people who get angry with this kind of practice, this medium ship, say that they're taking advantage of people who are genuinely bereaved and upset.
People who are confused and lost because a loved one's passed away and they need the comfort of some kind of
man from the north with a diamond tearing.
And he's mainly focusing on that aspect of his career, isn't he?
Which he's rounding off the laughs at the pass by taking it straight to the issue of bereavement.
It's wonderful stuff.
There are many other mediums available, of course.
But Joe, man, thanks so much.
That's all right.
Will you listen to that, do you think?
Almost certainly.
Come on, it's going to be good for a car journey.
No, that is a good one for a car journey.
Can I burn that one off before handing it back to you?
Yes.
Well, take it back.
Take it.
Seriously?
Yeah, have it.
I thought you were maybe going to take this one back.
No, no, no.
Hey, thanks very much.
Well, this has been a long link.
Let's have some music now.
This is The Fall.
This is the track that I teased earlier on.
And of course we spoke to Frank Skinner there, a fellow Fall fan.
He hadn't heard of this one before.
It's a track.
It's available on the extra disc on the Levitate LP Joe.
Right.
And it's called Christmas with Simon.
My Delirium there by Lady Hawk.
That's of course the theme tune from the new Matthew Broderick movie, which will be in the cinemas soon.
That's why I was wondering though, is it does it refer to the Broderick vehicle or is it about a woman who gobs?
Lady Hawk.
Right, who knows?
Maybe both.
Anyway, this is Adam and Joe here.
This is a pre-recorded show, folks.
It's not live, but it's a special Christmas program that is going out in this wonderful Christmas week from our little shack just outside the big British castle.
We've been sipping at some early morning champagne, which is permitted in the Christmas week, as long as you drink in moderation.
Of course, you don't need to drink to have a good time.
You can just be happy on air and the fact that you're alive, but we do need to drink.
time.
If you are drinking, please do so in moderation.
Certainly don't drive.
Don't operate heavy machinery.
No.
Don't have a conversation about anything important.
And for God's sake, don't do any kind of pre-recorded radio for the BBC, because that would just be stupid.
Speaking of stupid, Joe earlier on played his song wars Christmas classic, All Night Garage, or All Night Garage.
I'm going to play you mine now.
This was the losing
song wars christmas song last year when we did these and it's called christmas country party time
Well it's Christmas in the country and I'm turning off the gas I'm putting stickers on my face and painting on my legs We're gonna have a party and I am so excited There's gonna be some parsley and everyone's invited Those people in the city have forgotten what Christmas means But out here in the countryside we know what Christmas means Christmas country party
Party time!
Christmas, party time!
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, party time!
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas time!
Germany, party time!
Christmas, Christmas country!
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas bills!
Party, party, Christmas time!
Christmas, country time!
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas time!
Turkey, Christmas time!
So come on, grab your fever and lightbulb and a take from G to G Buy yourself a dirty skirt and find your way to me Oh yeah, we're gonna rock this party the way that Jesus might You're not allowed to take no drugs and you're not allowed to fight But we can still have lots of fun Watch your Christmas DVDs like Flash and Transformers and Minority Report
Christmas Country Party Time Christmas Party Time Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Party Time Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Time Ritchie Gear Party Time Christmas, Christmas Country Christmas, Christmas Rubik's Cube Party Party Christmas Time Christmas Country Time Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Time Sigourney Weaver Christmas Time
Christmas country party time there.
That's by me, Adam Buxton, part of our Song Wars project.
Allow me to call it a project, if you will.
And I was remembering that that was the most fun I ever had, I think, doing a Song Wars song.
I remember being sat there on my sofa in my nutty room about a year ago, me and my laptop just having a –
Golden memories.
Pretending to be like in the Dukes of Hazzard I was imagining.
I was imagining being like, what was their uncle called in the Dukes of Hazzard?
Uncle Fester, Uncle Silas, Uncle Jesse, Jesse, Jesse.
I still remember James.
I was imagining that I was like Uncle Jesse, you know?
And now you are like Uncle Jesse.
And it was, yes, because I'm drinking a can of lard
drunk on self-brewed beer.
Hey, come on, it's coming up to midday.
That's not... It's true.
That's not disgraceful, is it?
This is Adam and John B.C.
6 Music having a little Christmas tipple because, of course, it's the beginning of Christmas week.
It officially starts here, listeners.
You're allowed to do whatever you want, whenever you want, within reason.
And as long as it doesn't break the law, or hurt anybody, or make a mess.
Four more chocolates you got left on your Advent calendars there?
A far four.
Well, you would have had the fifth one, like... A nice counting.
Minus five.
Listen, we've got presents to give to each other.
Laga's empty.
You're listening to Adam and Jo's specially pre-recorded Christmas show.
Time now for the news.
Hey, that was the Zutons.
Welcome back, listeners.
This is Adam and Jo in our Christmas shack for our pre-recorded show.
That's the fire you can hear in the background there.
It's present time, present time, present time.
Only one more present left.
Oh no, we've got one prezi each.
Oh yes, time for your prezi from me, Joe.
This is my last prezi for you.
It's very exciting.
Can I just say, before I give you this, that I'm hoping you might give it back.
Now, listeners, I should let you know that during one of the records earlier, Adam turned to me with quite a serious face.
Can I hold it, please?
And said to me, hey, man, listen, I do actually want this one back.
OK.
And to me, you did.
And to me, that violates the fundamental, not just to me, I think to everybody that will violate the meaning of present gift.
It's not returnable.
It's not on a piece of elastic.
It's a gift you give it to me I'm just saying it would be nice if you did you don't have to if this was just sort of a fake gift Yeah, that will call into question the authenticity of our entire program.
I found it very hard to buy gifts for you I spent over two hours trying to do so.
Do you get the man who's got everything exactly?
But I knew you already had a bucket so instead I got you
Now, seeing as Adam said that, I thought that maybe it might be, you know, an iPhone or something of value, but it's not.
The thing that he so desperately wants back is a small yellow book called Top Tips for Girls.
Real advice from real women for real life.
Shall I tell you why I want it back?
Yes.
Will this be her main present?
Yes.
Wow, it says, crammed with invaluable advice that you and your girlfriends will love in Style Magazine.
Because here's the thing, right?
I flicked through it.
Some of the tips are funny, which is why I thought maybe it would be good for the radio.
Oh, this is good.
But some of the other tips are just good.
Just useful.
Okay, let's have a look.
It's got a contents page, clothes, accessories, shoes, cooking, gardening, home, cars, health and fitness diets, beauty, makeup, nails, dating, relationships.
Relationships, 97.
There's one about how to keep your breasts perky in there.
I have trouble with that.
Well, the secret, according to an old woman with perky breasts, who's written in, is to, um, pour cold water on them every day.
And then sort of slap them about.
I'm pretty sure that's how you do it and she reckons like, I'm 69 or something and I've got perky breasts and that's how I did it.
That's a tip from the top tips for girls.
Joe's just scanning the book now.
You see, this is why I prefaced the whole giving of it to him with the notion that maybe he might give it back because already I can see from his face.
He loves it.
Okay, how to be good in bed.
And what this is advice sent in by the readers of a magazine.
I don't know how they collated these.
But this is real advice from real women.
Yeah, yeah.
How to be good in bed.
One, be hungry for it.
Show some initiative.
Take the lead.
That's how to be good at breakfast in bed.
That's true, though.
Think about it.
Be hungry for it.
But what you want, right, when you're in the... What if you're not hungry for it?
Well, then you're no good, man.
Then stay away from it.
But to be in the loving zone, right?
Well, you're just peckish.
Peckish is different than... You just have some more dervs, but that's a different thing if you're going for the four.
All right, all right, all right.
Listen, there's ten of these.
Number two, don't wait for him to tell you what to do.
Trial and error, experiment.
These could be applied to anything in life.
Make some sound.
Brilliant.
Ooh!
Hey!
Woohoo!
That kind of thing.
Alright, maybe not.
Number four is the correction to that.
Don't scream like a porn star unless that's what comes naturally.
Five, make sure your sheets are clean.
Six, I can't say that.
Seven, ask him for what you want.
Um, can I go to sleep, please?
Can you go away?
I'm trying to watch the repeat of Quincy.
Eight.
Let yourself go.
Number nine.
Can't say that.
Number ten.
Vary what you're doing.
Enough making love.
Let's moo the lawn.
Is that what they mean?
Yes, it is.
There we go.
That's a brilliant book and you're not having it back.
Oh, please.
No.
Get yourself your own one, you tight.
I don't want it to... Listen.
For Auntie Christmas.
I... Uh, Joe... Auntie Santa.
Listen, I would have got two copies.
They only had the one copy.
That's like Santa Claus coming down the chimney, giving you a V sign and going back up again.
It's not.
It's like Santa Claus coming down and explaining that he needs the present for his one look.
I've got to go and do it.
Every chimney in the world and I'm running out of...
Look my friend, ho ho ho, the thing is that Merry Christmas is a very hard woman to buy presents for.
And so if I give you the top tips for girls, which I know you're going to have fun with for a bit... Santa would never say this or do this.
You would?
He's broke the cardinal rule.
He's a mysterious figure.
He never talks to people.
Oh, please.
I'm finding it very difficult to buy presents for Mary and I would really like the book back.
Is there any chance?
Take your book back, but I'm going to throw it at you.
Oh, please.
That's your punishment.
I've got to throw it at you.
Come on.
Either I keep it or I throw it at you.
Throw it at my thighs then.
Because I might get the corner on!
Ow!
He threw it at my shoulder!
Of course I did.
Take it back.
Play some music.
Can't believe it.
Scrooge.
Here's Dizzy Rascal with Dance With Me.
That was Dizzy Rascal, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
This is our special pre-recorded Christmas show coming from our shack just outside the big British castle.
Where's the fire gone, James?
The fire's gone out.
There we go.
It had just gone quiet for a bit.
There were some damp twigs that took the crackling away.
Right, right, right.
Um, we've been exchanging presents this morning, listeners.
We've also been drinking a little bit of champagne, hence the hesitant speech and the slurring.
Impiti-piti-piti compound.
And the occasional burping.
Adam's just given me a fantastic book, and we're not advertising any of these products.
In fact, if anything, we're doing them down.
Are we?
No.
We're just being completely ambivalent about them, but this is a terrific book.
It's called Top Tips for Girls.
Real advice from real women for real life.
And Adam's given this to me because he thinks I'm a sort of a woman.
A lady man.
And here's a tip.
How to keep your mind sharp.
Number one, take up bridge.
Number two, do sudoku.
Number three, swivel your eyes from side to side for 30 seconds each day.
Like action man and his eagle eyes.
Doing it right now.
30 seconds is a long time.
It feels really weird.
How does that keep you sharp?
I don't know.
It'd just make you go blind, wouldn't it?
I'd heard that to keep your eyesight sharp, every day you should look at something in the distance, as far away as you can, and then refocus on something very close.
So right.
I'm doing it now.
Oh, it's exciting.
Well, it's true.
I mean, I spend, sometimes I don't realize how long I've spent in front of the computer, you know?
And then I go out into the real world and I'm suddenly looking at, uh, buildings and street signs and stuff and I'm thinking, I can't even focus!
I'm, you know, I'm losing my eyesight.
It's shocking sometimes.
And then it takes a few weeks weaned off the, uh, VDU to get back to... Hey.
You seem a bit stressed to me.
Are you a bit stressed?
A little bit.
Well, here's how to de-stress.
And this is a tip from Elmer Ferson.
Oof.
So if anyone knows, she does.
Certainly.
She's stress free.
I love Elmer.
She says, when really stressed in a situation, breathe in love and breathe out fear.
Try it.
It works.
Breathe in love.
Love.
Breathe out.
Oh, fear.
Now I'm left with the fear.
Should be the other way around.
Shouldn't it, El?
I don't know, I'm confused.
Breathe in.
Why would you want to breathe in fear?
I've got different lungs.
So you're giving me back the book.
Thanks, man.
There we go.
This is going to be a big hit in the Buxton.
No, because we're having a credit crunch Christmas.
Right.
We've made a hand gift.
We've made a promise to each other.
It's that you give back lens.
That would be a more economic Christmas, wouldn't it?
You'd just lend a series of things to a friend.
Well, it's like French dinner.
But then you'd have a second holiday.
Say at the beginning of January, that's what New Year's Day would be.
Give them back.
That's what Frank Skinner was saying, although he's only got his buckets of presents lying around his house from people he's spoiled.
You know what I mean?
That's what it's all about in the credit crutch times.
You've got to share it all about.
What buckets of presents.
Last present coming up after this next track.
This is a free play from me.
It's The White Stripes.
It's a B-side.
It's the only Christmas record they ever did.
I might be wrong.
I probably am wrong, but let's just pretend it is.
This is called Candy Cane Children.
This is Adam and Jo on BBC Six Music coming to you from our special Christmas shack just outside the walls of the big British castle.
We've got a log fire crackling there in the background.
We've been exchanging gifts.
There's only one wrapped gift left.
That's always a kind of slightly depressing moment on Christmas when the gifts are nearly run out.
Do you realise that the kind of the orgasmic peak of the day is over and you're on the kind of closing stretch?
In the Cornish household, is it a free-for-all or do you try and stage manage the giving of the gifts so that, for example, you know that your star gift is going to be given last?
Well, we usually used to take it in turns to accept gifts, but one would have a choice over which gift one would take.
Certainly.
I mean, I will certainly keep... I will make sure that my star gift is not given until last.
It's a very competitive time, though, for children, isn't it?
And then fireworks and... Yeah.
I mean, I used to care.
furious if there was any kind of discrepancy between the amount I got and the amount my brother got.
Of course.
It had to be an exact balance of worth and impact and colourfulness and size, otherwise there'd be furious arguments.
Furious!
Here's your gift, then.
It's a lovely gift wrapped in purple.
A gift wrap, there?
Thanks, man.
Okay, now, here we go.
Wow, last gift.
It's a book, listeners.
It's a larger book.
Sure, it's a larger book.
And it's called...
Celebrity Life Laundry by this morning's Angela Mutanda.
Tell them how you spell Angela.
So you don't spell Angela A-N-G-E-L-A like a normal person would you spell it?
A-N-J-U-L-A.
That might be a common spelling in the country where she was born from where her parents were from but it's certainly quite an exciting spelling.
Angela.
Yeah.
And can I just explain the purpose of this book?
Yeah.
This book goes through the lives of many celebrities and they're all very successful at handling life.
It's not dissimilar to the gift you just gave to me and then took back.
And it analyzes their lives and it suggests ways that you can improve your life by doing the things that such celebrities did.
So similar to your tips book,
It's divided into different areas of life.
And you know, say, you can basically, you can pick out a celebrity who is like you.
You define your personality traits, your outgoing, or your shy, or your, you know, that's the only two I can think of.
Here's someone that is someone I really admire.
Yes.
And also she's very similar to me in many ways.
She's a thrill seeker.
Right.
She can bend bullets.
Connie Huck.
It's Connie Hock.
No, it's Angelina Jolie.
And this is the celebrity tip of Jolie.
Angelina Jolie has managed to successfully channel her thrill-seeking energies into awareness-raising charity work.
She has confidently and constructively used her abilities to travel to dangerous places in the world.
and try to make a difference to the lives of those less fortunate.
Like Angelina, plan your buzz.
You can still get excitement by being careful and taking time to plan your adventure.
Channel your thrill-seeking side so that no one is put at risk.
Try to adopt a child when your bungee jumping.
I made that bit up.
You made that bit up?
That's irresponsible, that advice.
If you're going hand gliding, why not foster a group of small local children?
That's true, isn't it?
Now, what would you say your weaknesses are, Adam?
In general.
Yeah, in life.
What are your weaknesses?
The weakest area of your personality.
Is stupidity a weakness?
Yes.
Maybe then.
What do you mean, just bad decision making?
general lack of slowness.
Not properly educated.
Well not necessarily because I was well educated but I didn't necessarily take it in.
Pay attention.
Well that book will teach you how to turn that into an asset.
For instance you could play a sort of lovable idiot on some kind of radio show.
for the BBC.
Anyway, are you happy with that gift?
I'm really happy.
Am I giving this back to you?
No, you can keep that.
That's the difference between you and me.
Oh no.
I'm going to throw this cork at you now.
Don't!
You threw it in my face!
It bounced off your forehead and I'm very pleased.
Health and safety?
Well, when Joe starts throwing corks at my face, which is way outside of normal health and safety guidelines, I think it's probably time to wrap up the Christmas proceedings.
We've really appreciated having you along with us and putting up with our stupid bullcrap.
And that goes for the whole of the year as well.
You know, we've really enjoyed being at Six Music.
Although the year's not over.
We've got our New Year's show to do next week.
Exactly.
There's lots of fun left in the fun gun.
Yeah, exactly.
But listeners, do have a wonderful Christmas and don't go nuts and
and damage each other.
Don't let your life dissolve into like an episode of EastEnders is what I'm trying to say.
You know at Christmas time, EastEnders is always like fraught with screaming and crying and that's apparently a reflection of real life, but try and avoid all those traps.
You're talking to yourself there, aren't you?
Yeah, in a way.
Thanks a lot for listening.
Listeners, we'll see you next week with another very special show featuring special guest stars, Garth Jennings and the Salt Man, the Salty, ready salted crisps, a salt with a deadly crisp.
Chris Salt, the winner of our Song Wars video competition earlier this year.
He'll be in the studio talking live and uncensored.
I think we're even getting them to do their own Song Wars songs.
Wow, that's going to be a great show.
Who knows, it might even be better than this one.
And we'll be looking back over the year that's just gone by, of course, and playing some of our favourite music from that year.
Yeah, in a kind of a lazy Christmas way.
Have a great Christmas.
We'll see you on the other side.
Take care.
Love you Jingle Bells.
Bye.