WEBVTT 00:01.127 --> 00:03.281 Welcome to the Big British Castle! 00:15.643 --> 00:18.145 So what, it's just upside down, everything's topsy-turvy tonight? 00:18.165 --> 00:24.349 Well, no, today's tonight, but tonight's the day, and today's tonight? 00:24.589 --> 00:25.410 I said that twice. 00:25.710 --> 00:27.432 I can't figure it out what he's trying to say. 00:27.452 --> 00:29.233 I think he's just in a different time zone. 00:29.253 --> 00:33.516 I mean, he's gone to Brazil or something, and his watch has got confused. 00:33.556 --> 00:33.796 Yeah. 00:34.236 --> 00:34.537 Yeah. 00:34.657 --> 00:37.659 And he's got off the plane, and he's just thinking, I've got awful jet lag. 00:38.039 --> 00:40.261 So today's tonight, tonight's today. 00:40.281 --> 00:44.124 I don't know what he was trying to say, but he didn't do a very good job of articulating it. 00:44.944 --> 00:46.045 He chose the wrong medium. 00:46.105 --> 00:47.405 He was silly to do a song. 00:47.445 --> 00:49.046 He should have written it down. 00:49.146 --> 00:49.947 He should have written it down. 00:49.967 --> 00:59.011 If you've got a point to make, the most concise and simple way to get that point across is either to talk to people about it directly, have a meeting. 00:59.352 --> 01:00.212 Call the Samaritans. 01:00.872 --> 01:01.853 Well, that's going to extremes. 01:01.873 --> 01:05.015 Well, if you can't find anyone else to talk to about it, that's what they're there for. 01:05.175 --> 01:06.555 If you're very upset by the problem. 01:06.655 --> 01:06.916 Yeah. 01:07.016 --> 01:07.116 Yeah. 01:07.136 --> 01:10.798 But if it's a time zone problem, it's unlikely to be something the Samaritans need to step in. 01:11.698 --> 01:13.540 and deal with immediately, is it? 01:13.820 --> 01:15.841 You've talked to someone else before, the Samaritans. 01:16.001 --> 01:17.182 You're right, you're right. 01:17.222 --> 01:17.703 Just in case. 01:18.023 --> 01:18.303 Yeah. 01:18.403 --> 01:23.567 That was Jack Peñate there, discussing his problems with time zones. 01:23.587 --> 01:28.351 And it was very enjoyably done, if a little, you know, unclear and confusing. 01:28.591 --> 01:30.713 Tonight's Today is the name of the track. 01:30.973 --> 01:33.175 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:33.195 --> 01:34.736 Thank you very much indeed for joining us. 01:35.036 --> 01:36.217 It's a little bit drizzly. 01:36.237 --> 01:37.518 I'm not talking to you! 01:42.102 --> 01:42.942 What's that noise? 01:43.043 --> 01:44.864 That's the noise of you being angry. 01:45.104 --> 01:45.785 Oh, I see. 01:45.885 --> 01:47.306 It's exciting here in London, isn't it? 01:47.406 --> 01:52.170 Because lots of peasants are gathering around the castle today with their pitchforks. 01:52.650 --> 01:52.890 Why? 01:53.090 --> 01:54.431 We're angry with world leaders. 01:54.451 --> 01:57.353 Because all the world leaders are meeting up the river. 01:57.534 --> 01:58.534 There's a demo, isn't there? 01:58.694 --> 02:00.276 Yeah, there's all sorts of demos. 02:00.896 --> 02:07.021 And the police, the Metropolitan Police, have decided to announce to the newspapers that it's going to be very violent. 02:07.762 --> 02:08.022 What? 02:08.122 --> 02:10.966 Is that a responsible thing for the head of the police to say? 02:11.046 --> 02:11.667 Who said that? 02:11.847 --> 02:12.688 The head of the police. 02:12.728 --> 02:13.609 It was all over the paper. 02:13.629 --> 02:15.051 Oh, it's going to be very violent. 02:15.552 --> 02:16.293 That's ludicrous. 02:16.313 --> 02:18.335 That's like they're expecting it to be violent. 02:18.776 --> 02:19.817 They're encouraging it. 02:20.518 --> 02:23.322 It's quite good that it's actually raining and quite miserable. 02:23.742 --> 02:25.184 Right, you reckon people might stare at them? 02:25.244 --> 02:26.024 Yeah, no one gets that. 02:26.064 --> 02:27.966 Well, they'll just be a little bit sort of cowed. 02:28.026 --> 02:28.606 Subdued. 02:29.327 --> 02:31.589 Not that I disagree with what they're protesting about. 02:32.029 --> 02:36.513 No, of course we don't want to get involved in the specifics of the protest, that would be... No, peaceful protest is very good. 02:36.533 --> 02:39.516 In fact, I've got a peaceful protest free play coming up. 02:39.656 --> 02:39.976 Have you? 02:40.197 --> 02:40.497 Yeah. 02:40.798 --> 02:42.139 Is it protesting about something important? 02:42.540 --> 02:45.624 It's just it's encouraging people to get their voices heard. 02:45.684 --> 02:48.027 It's one of the greatest protest songs of all time. 02:48.468 --> 02:48.989 Wow. 02:49.429 --> 02:50.070 That's amazing. 02:50.170 --> 02:51.572 Can we expect that in this hour? 02:52.333 --> 02:53.114 I don't think so. 02:53.194 --> 02:53.395 No. 02:54.256 --> 02:54.436 Is it? 02:54.456 --> 02:55.858 When has it been scheduled for Ben? 02:56.728 --> 02:59.770 Whenever I put the CD in and play it. 02:59.990 --> 03:02.232 Ben, our regular producer, is back with us. 03:02.292 --> 03:03.432 He's been in Vietnam. 03:03.993 --> 03:07.455 He's been out there having some kind of amazing journey into his soul. 03:07.675 --> 03:09.656 He might have some flashbacks during the program. 03:09.676 --> 03:11.417 Yeah, who knows what he's been doing out there. 03:11.437 --> 03:12.638 He looks very tanned. 03:13.419 --> 03:17.483 And he's got a kind of thousand yard stare, even more than normal. 03:18.745 --> 03:22.068 So all kinds of weird things might be happening with Ben throughout the show. 03:22.509 --> 03:26.834 He's already been saying some very strange things and giving us weird advice. 03:27.274 --> 03:29.257 So listen, what can you expect from this program? 03:29.477 --> 03:30.478 Joe, why don't you fill them in? 03:30.598 --> 03:33.660 Well, you can expect some terrifically entertaining chit-chat. 03:34.601 --> 03:36.142 Also, lots of music. 03:36.622 --> 03:39.884 Plus, regular features that the nation have come to adore. 03:40.004 --> 03:40.224 Yeah. 03:40.665 --> 03:41.906 Such as whose pop is that? 03:42.926 --> 03:44.187 And what's out the window? 03:44.447 --> 03:45.548 And my favourite food. 03:45.848 --> 03:47.349 And my favourite cake. 03:48.150 --> 03:51.312 Almost all your favourite features back again. 03:51.332 --> 03:52.993 I was actually thinking about doing my favourite food. 03:53.013 --> 03:53.773 Plus fashion news. 03:53.974 --> 03:54.134 Yeah. 03:54.234 --> 03:58.136 Penelope Keith will be here to talk about the repeats of To The Man Are Born on ITV2. 03:58.537 --> 04:00.098 And we've got a great makeover. 04:01.239 --> 04:01.739 Brilliant. 04:01.819 --> 04:04.281 Coming up in the next three hours. 04:04.922 --> 04:06.003 But right now, here's some music. 04:06.023 --> 04:06.903 This is why we're here. 04:06.923 --> 04:09.726 One of the main reasons why we're here, after all, at Six Music. 04:10.506 --> 04:17.092 And to make that point, we're going to play a Jesus Jones song. 04:17.132 --> 04:18.553 That's a weird way of making the point. 04:18.613 --> 04:19.814 I don't know why I'm laughing about it. 04:20.495 --> 04:22.796 You know, Zach loves Jesus Jones. 04:22.837 --> 04:23.497 Our friend Zach. 04:23.537 --> 04:23.737 Yeah. 04:23.797 --> 04:25.138 This is dedicated to our friend Zach. 04:25.359 --> 04:26.339 I hope you like this one. 04:26.740 --> 04:29.402 Who, Where and Why by Jesus Jones. 04:29.980 --> 04:35.904 Jesus Jones there with who where why You're listening to Adam and Joe on BBC six music. 04:35.944 --> 04:36.925 We've only just started. 04:36.945 --> 04:37.485 Yeah. 04:37.505 --> 04:38.366 Yeah, you know what? 04:38.386 --> 04:39.226 I was gonna do this week. 04:39.586 --> 04:42.989 I keep saying that I'm gonna do new jingles and stuff for the show I never get around to but this week. 04:43.109 --> 04:47.992 I absolutely swear to you I'm gonna concentrate on six music and nothing else right? 04:48.052 --> 04:50.073 Yeah, you got a good clear week more or less. 04:50.093 --> 04:50.253 Yeah. 04:50.273 --> 04:52.515 Yeah Yeah, I'm gonna set aside at least a couple of days. 04:52.655 --> 04:56.858 That's good for jingling I done one did you well I done. 04:57.018 --> 04:59.019 Yeah, I done a jingle but it's for the podcast 04:59.259 --> 05:06.243 Mainly right there are some things only a few things listeners in case you only listen to this show live that are exclusive to the podcast It's true. 05:06.943 --> 05:07.043 Mmm. 05:07.123 --> 05:08.484 You know incentive. 05:08.804 --> 05:09.064 Yeah. 05:09.144 --> 05:15.747 Yeah, it's very incense insensitive Insensitive insensitive how very insensitive extremely insensitive of you. 05:16.388 --> 05:20.410 I'm really gonna have to download the podcast now Because you've been so insensitive. 05:20.630 --> 05:20.730 Yeah 05:21.250 --> 05:24.191 Um, and so what I'm going to do, I was thinking of doing a jingle, right? 05:24.251 --> 05:32.794 Especially for the people that tune into the beginning of the live show, because I reckon there's a little club and I, I like to call it the nine o'clock club. 05:32.894 --> 05:33.594 Do you? 05:33.734 --> 05:35.815 I thought we were calling them, what were they called? 05:35.895 --> 05:36.515 Black squadron. 05:36.755 --> 05:38.256 Oh, black squadron. 05:38.316 --> 05:40.797 They were like a sort of secret underground stealth service. 05:41.157 --> 05:44.298 Well, that could be their other name. 05:44.458 --> 05:46.339 Their cover name could be the nine o'clock club. 05:47.959 --> 05:50.120 It makes them sound like tiny children. 05:50.160 --> 05:50.900 Well, exactly. 05:51.620 --> 05:53.661 And that's how Black Squadron operate. 05:54.461 --> 06:00.183 Because they come in, everyone thinks they're like the nine o'clock club, they think they're little four to seven year olds. 06:00.443 --> 06:02.304 Why don't you call it the one o'clock club? 06:02.944 --> 06:04.485 Because it's not one o'clock, is it? 06:04.505 --> 06:06.185 It's nine o'clock now when they're tuning in. 06:06.445 --> 06:07.766 But that then would be toddlers. 06:09.102 --> 06:09.942 What, for 9 o'clock? 06:09.982 --> 06:10.543 For 1 o'clock. 06:10.583 --> 06:12.763 Didn't that used to be what toddlers go to, a 1 o'clock club? 06:13.223 --> 06:13.704 I don't know. 06:14.084 --> 06:16.565 Anyway, I can't remember back that far. 06:16.825 --> 06:20.566 Yeah, so I was going to do a jingle for the 9 o'clock club, aka Black Squadron, right? 06:20.986 --> 06:26.088 Because I do think there's a little exclusive group that is awake this early on a Saturday morning and actually tunes in. 06:26.108 --> 06:27.928 People who go to work, right? 06:27.988 --> 06:31.610 And then other people who just go to bed at a decent hour on Friday. 06:32.010 --> 06:38.612 Don't go to the pub necessarily, or don't go to the pub until it's so late that they can't rise at a reasonable hour on Saturday. 06:38.992 --> 06:40.193 And I thought they deserved a jingle. 06:40.873 --> 06:41.674 Well that's exciting. 06:42.374 --> 06:43.335 That's for next week though. 06:43.955 --> 06:44.956 You're really talking it up. 06:45.036 --> 06:45.636 I'm teasing it. 06:45.877 --> 06:47.438 It's gonna be, it better be good. 06:47.458 --> 06:48.278 It's a one week tease. 06:48.558 --> 06:48.838 Really? 06:49.279 --> 06:50.039 It's exciting. 06:51.100 --> 06:53.361 And we should do another song wars, shouldn't we? 06:54.002 --> 06:54.882 You know what I'm worried about? 06:54.922 --> 06:55.623 What are you worried about? 06:55.843 --> 06:59.625 The couple who about seven months ago asked us to do the first dance. 06:59.645 --> 07:00.486 Have we missed the wedding? 07:00.826 --> 07:01.847 Have we missed the wedding Ben? 07:02.547 --> 07:03.748 Wasn't it Easter? 07:03.768 --> 07:04.689 Yeah, but Easter's coming up. 07:04.709 --> 07:08.171 We're going to check that during this next song and get back to you, because that would be quite bad. 07:08.191 --> 07:09.152 That would be terrible. 07:09.172 --> 07:10.173 Because we made promises. 07:10.353 --> 07:11.594 Yeah, that would be bad fun. 07:11.614 --> 07:12.014 Oh, dear. 07:13.015 --> 07:15.236 You know, I wish this show just had six listeners. 07:15.436 --> 07:18.538 I mean, I think it's probably got about 10, but it'd be nice if it just had six. 07:19.179 --> 07:20.380 So we could take proper care of them. 07:20.480 --> 07:20.660 Yeah. 07:21.000 --> 07:21.581 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 07:21.601 --> 07:26.664 The more people listen, the less easy it is to deal with everyone's concerns individually. 07:26.684 --> 07:28.706 To provide a proper one-on-one service. 07:28.746 --> 07:31.227 So why don't we start pushing everything down? 07:31.247 --> 07:32.048 We're repelling people. 07:34.530 --> 07:34.730 Yes! 07:35.211 --> 07:38.293 Making it like deliberately bad instead of accidentally bad. 07:38.413 --> 07:42.176 Well that would work quite well for me today because I've not got that much in my locker. 07:42.296 --> 07:42.717 Oh no. 07:43.077 --> 07:45.239 So we could make this an absolute sink show. 07:45.679 --> 07:51.824 And try and reduce the listenership but then be extraordinarily bespoke for those for that small collection of people. 07:51.904 --> 07:52.785 Really look after them. 07:52.805 --> 07:53.846 That's a good idea isn't it? 07:54.506 --> 07:57.409 Shall we try and repel some listeners with some music? 07:57.589 --> 07:58.970 Well, I've got my free play next. 07:59.090 --> 08:00.231 Okay, is it repellent? 08:00.612 --> 08:01.673 It might be to some people. 08:01.873 --> 08:02.293 What is it? 08:02.333 --> 08:04.475 This is a track from the Fever Ray album. 08:04.815 --> 08:11.741 Now, I think the lady in Fever Ray was in The Knife and she's from somewhere in Europe. 08:12.542 --> 08:12.882 Swanage. 08:13.363 --> 08:13.823 Swanage. 08:14.123 --> 08:20.129 This is quite repellent because this would repel people who cared about music to the extent that they would want facts about it, you know what I mean? 08:20.709 --> 08:24.071 Anyway, it's a good album, the Fever Ray album, and I hope you enjoy it. 08:24.091 --> 08:27.933 It's sort of a little bit Bjorky and, well, I won't talk about it too. 08:27.953 --> 08:28.673 I'll just play it. 08:28.693 --> 08:29.293 Shall I just play it? 08:29.533 --> 08:29.794 Yeah. 08:30.014 --> 08:31.694 This track is called When I Grow Up by Fever. 08:32.335 --> 08:34.056 When I Grow Up by Fever Ray. 08:34.756 --> 08:35.797 Hope you enjoyed that one. 08:35.817 --> 08:36.877 That's got chopper noises in it. 08:36.937 --> 08:38.578 That might cause Ben to have flashbacks. 08:39.258 --> 08:40.239 Chopper blade noises. 08:41.779 --> 08:42.240 What's up, Ben? 08:42.780 --> 08:43.320 Anything happening? 08:43.420 --> 08:44.681 He's going to start fragging things. 08:46.010 --> 08:48.131 with his... He's looking weird. 08:48.171 --> 08:48.511 Yeah. 08:48.751 --> 08:49.231 Look at that. 08:49.431 --> 08:50.692 He's looking weird. 08:50.732 --> 08:53.173 We need to construct some sort of bamboo cage for him. 08:53.193 --> 08:54.453 He's going up Jacob's ladder. 08:54.673 --> 08:58.635 He's taking his clothes off and he's covering himself in talcum powder. 08:59.495 --> 09:02.336 And he's wearing a little grass skirt. 09:02.456 --> 09:03.497 Little line cloth. 09:04.017 --> 09:06.178 And you can just see his bits and bobs. 09:08.720 --> 09:09.461 It's quite sexy. 09:09.641 --> 09:10.102 Not really. 09:10.162 --> 09:10.763 He's not doing that. 09:10.963 --> 09:11.484 He's fine. 09:12.244 --> 09:20.113 Listen, we were talking earlier about the fact that we had promised to record for a couple of listeners a special song wars, a wedding song, for them to dance to at their wedding. 09:20.554 --> 09:26.721 Ben swears that this is the email from Robert Mercel that was sent on the 16th of September 2008. 09:27.782 --> 09:29.283 That was a long time ago. 09:29.404 --> 09:29.984 At 22.59. 09:30.044 --> 09:30.565 Good old days. 09:30.725 --> 09:31.646 Well, it was very different then. 09:31.666 --> 09:32.106 Very different. 09:32.126 --> 09:32.767 Very different. 09:33.748 --> 09:35.109 That sounds like the right one, doesn't it? 09:35.269 --> 09:35.549 Yeah. 09:35.629 --> 09:36.470 That's the right guy. 09:36.770 --> 09:39.413 So we should do this, because they're getting married on Easter Sunday. 09:39.433 --> 09:40.654 That means we've got to do it this week. 09:40.974 --> 09:41.535 That's alright. 09:41.715 --> 09:41.975 Yeah. 09:42.095 --> 09:45.719 I think we should do something we've been planning to do for a while. 09:46.319 --> 09:46.980 Collaborative one. 09:47.080 --> 09:48.261 A collaborative one, yeah. 09:49.082 --> 09:50.423 You do half the music, Adam. 09:50.823 --> 09:54.367 So you do, say, a beat and a melody, if you want. 09:55.148 --> 09:56.789 And you do half of the vocals. 09:57.410 --> 09:58.992 So you set up some of the rhymes. 10:00.393 --> 10:02.635 And then you send it to me midweek. 10:02.896 --> 10:06.980 Or we could even actually play this on Easter Saturday, the Saturday before Easter. 10:08.361 --> 10:09.943 So we could have two weeks to do it, couldn't we? 10:10.183 --> 10:10.463 I think. 10:11.184 --> 10:11.765 I can't count. 10:12.105 --> 10:12.826 Are there enough weeks? 10:12.866 --> 10:13.626 We'll figure it out. 10:13.726 --> 10:13.906 Yeah. 10:14.527 --> 10:17.409 And anyway, then you send that to me and I do the rhymes. 10:17.449 --> 10:20.472 I complete your vocals and also add some more instruments. 10:20.652 --> 10:20.752 Yeah. 10:20.832 --> 10:21.112 OK. 10:21.953 --> 10:23.614 And then how would people vote on that? 10:23.654 --> 10:28.458 They wouldn't vote because it's a wedding and it's wrong for it to be competitive in any way. 10:28.618 --> 10:28.998 Yeah. 10:29.118 --> 10:30.299 It's about a coming together. 10:30.640 --> 10:32.201 It's as if we're getting married as well. 10:32.481 --> 10:34.282 It's a song amnesty, if you will. 10:34.362 --> 10:35.864 And then finally making love. 10:36.784 --> 10:40.587 Why did you have to push it that bit further into that dark area? 10:42.148 --> 10:42.809 Just for fun. 10:43.309 --> 10:44.769 Just for fun. 10:44.789 --> 10:45.810 What do you think about that idea? 10:45.830 --> 10:46.550 I like that idea. 10:46.690 --> 10:47.210 Let's do it. 10:47.510 --> 10:48.771 Let's absolutely do it. 10:48.931 --> 10:51.172 So there you go, Rob and Linda. 10:51.472 --> 10:52.192 It's gonna happen. 10:52.332 --> 10:53.352 It's gonna happen. 10:53.552 --> 10:56.033 But what if they get the song and it's the worst thing they've ever heard? 10:56.053 --> 10:57.654 Well that's the thing, they have to dance to it. 10:57.674 --> 10:59.274 They have to dance to it, exactly. 10:59.835 --> 11:01.735 But what if they get it and it's just so grotesque? 11:01.755 --> 11:03.056 They think, oh no. 11:03.076 --> 11:06.197 Well then we'd be really angry and they'd be banned from listening to the program. 11:06.237 --> 11:09.138 How are we gonna prove, we need a video from them that we can... I'm sure they'll 11:09.598 --> 11:11.219 that we can post on the website. 11:11.259 --> 11:13.320 People often have video cameras at their weddings. 11:13.420 --> 11:14.040 That's true. 11:14.160 --> 11:15.401 It's a dumb thing. 11:15.521 --> 11:15.761 Yeah. 11:15.921 --> 11:20.383 But if they don't dance to it, then they would be banned from listening to the BBC. 11:20.743 --> 11:21.183 Absolutely. 11:21.203 --> 11:24.224 And the only way to enforce that would be to have some sort of a security. 11:24.264 --> 11:25.165 Because here's the thing. 11:25.525 --> 11:28.126 They would not be safeguarding our trust. 11:28.206 --> 11:28.586 Exactly. 11:28.646 --> 11:31.087 We spend all our time safeguarding their trust, right? 11:31.107 --> 11:31.167 Yes. 11:31.307 --> 11:32.808 I mean, that's our main mission in life. 11:32.828 --> 11:33.628 Written on the badges. 11:33.668 --> 11:35.769 Written on the badges, on the back of your BBC pass. 11:36.149 --> 11:37.450 Safeguarding trust! 11:38.004 --> 11:39.665 So that's what it's all about for us. 11:40.006 --> 11:42.407 We live and breathe the safeguarding of the trust. 11:42.427 --> 11:43.068 We're frightening them. 11:43.388 --> 11:44.109 And it's their wonderful day. 11:44.129 --> 11:44.769 We should frighten them. 11:45.009 --> 11:47.551 No, they shouldn't be frightened on their wedding day. 11:48.252 --> 11:49.813 I thought you wanted them to be frightened. 11:49.893 --> 11:53.416 You started threatening them and then I joined in. 11:53.476 --> 11:55.538 Only if they don't dance to the song. 11:55.678 --> 11:58.960 I was excited because you started threatening them and I thought, oh good, we're going to do some threatening. 11:59.220 --> 12:02.683 But we don't want to make it sound as if we want them not to dance to the song. 12:02.743 --> 12:05.005 We want them to dance to the song and it to be all lovely. 12:05.325 --> 12:05.945 I threaten them too much. 12:05.965 --> 12:09.508 So there's something to look forward to or not, Robert and Linda. 12:09.768 --> 12:12.089 We're going to launch Text to Nation very shortly. 12:12.469 --> 12:13.850 We like to do it early these days. 12:13.890 --> 12:18.853 But first, we're going to play you a trail and then a bit more wonderful music, I think, from Silver Sun Pickups. 12:19.314 --> 12:20.154 So here's the trail. 12:20.174 --> 12:23.396 I mean, that's obviously really good music, obviously. 12:23.476 --> 12:26.198 But the lyrics, they make no sense again. 12:26.238 --> 12:27.199 I'll tell you a secret. 12:27.339 --> 12:28.800 Let's make this perfectly clear. 12:29.160 --> 12:30.481 There's no secrets this year. 12:31.501 --> 12:31.641 Mm-hmm. 12:31.781 --> 12:32.862 That's nonsense, isn't it? 12:33.262 --> 12:36.663 Well, it's yeah, it's why is he singing it like that? 12:37.263 --> 12:41.065 Really whispery and in that voice cuz there's a secret. 12:41.765 --> 12:43.585 Is that how you say a secret? 12:43.825 --> 12:56.510 That's how he said secrets His name is Brian Albert and he's described his new album is sounding like a nervous breakdown Yes, well it does That's a good reason for never listening 12:56.670 --> 12:59.472 I mean, if you're, it sounds like a nervous breakdown, right? 12:59.492 --> 13:00.032 It's very good. 13:00.372 --> 13:02.534 I don't think a nervous breakdown would sound like that, I think. 13:02.614 --> 13:04.215 No, but he does sound like he might have had one. 13:04.655 --> 13:04.915 Right. 13:05.455 --> 13:09.538 Or he might sound like, he sounds like he's trying to give himself one is what he's doing. 13:09.558 --> 13:10.479 He's trying to give us one. 13:10.599 --> 13:11.839 That's what he's doing. 13:11.859 --> 13:12.940 He's doing a pretty good job. 13:12.960 --> 13:16.943 What kind of a laugh is that? 13:17.103 --> 13:17.563 I don't know. 13:17.583 --> 13:19.464 I came up with it at the last minute. 13:19.584 --> 13:20.445 I surprised myself. 13:22.486 --> 13:23.187 It's weird. 13:23.267 --> 13:24.027 It was very odd. 13:24.568 --> 13:25.748 I apologise, listeners. 13:25.768 --> 13:29.931 I'm really sorry to the members of the 9 o'clock club and Black Squadron. 13:30.412 --> 13:32.033 I can't believe that you've got up this early. 13:32.053 --> 13:33.094 For that. 13:33.114 --> 13:33.454 For that. 13:35.355 --> 13:37.057 And it'll never, ever happen again. 13:37.077 --> 13:38.798 It's exciting, isn't it, Black Squadron? 13:38.898 --> 13:41.560 This time next week, you're going to be listening to your new jingle. 13:41.960 --> 14:01.746 and it's only going to be black squadron only exists from nine till nine thirty i think i was going to say it's nearly black time for black squadron to stand down absolutely to uh blend into the background in their camouflage for another week yeah to secrete themselves in the background of everyday life black squadron stand down it's nine thirty and time for the news 14:02.108 --> 14:03.968 That's the wonder stuff. 14:05.469 --> 14:06.749 Don't let me down, Jenny. 14:06.789 --> 14:08.089 He wants to be dropped. 14:08.429 --> 14:10.910 He wants to be thrown onto a hard surface. 14:11.670 --> 14:13.570 And they've reformed, haven't they, the stuffies? 14:14.271 --> 14:19.292 I think, and delighting people all over the country in the coming months. 14:19.472 --> 14:21.532 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 14:21.872 --> 14:23.172 I think it's time for Text the Nation. 14:23.192 --> 14:30.534 Let's launch it with the real jingle, but before we play any of our listener jingles that we have lined up for you later on in the show, fire it off, Ben. 14:32.912 --> 14:33.694 Text-a-nation! 14:33.795 --> 14:34.858 Text, text, text! 14:34.958 --> 14:35.700 Text-a-nation! 14:35.760 --> 14:36.723 What if I don't want to? 14:36.984 --> 14:37.706 Text-a-nation! 14:37.806 --> 14:38.829 But I'm using email. 14:38.989 --> 14:39.711 Is that a problem? 14:39.751 --> 14:40.574 It doesn't matter, text! 14:43.243 --> 15:02.018 So I got a letter, we got a letter this week, actually it was more of an email, wasn't it really, to be specific, and it is from Sandy, and she says, Dear Adam and Jo, As a regular listener to your show, I couldn't help noticing that you seem to have been struggling with your text-to-nation feature. 15:02.478 --> 15:06.021 I am of course referring to last week's unfortunate debacle. 15:06.701 --> 15:09.324 However, I have an idea that you might like to use. 15:09.704 --> 15:12.667 Incidentally, she's talking about... What was it? 15:12.827 --> 15:13.868 I can't even remember the subject. 15:14.248 --> 15:16.971 It was audience participation and it was very good. 15:17.611 --> 15:22.215 We had a lot of very good emails about it that we'll be reading in the podcast. 15:22.255 --> 15:22.716 You know what? 15:22.756 --> 15:27.480 The retro textination for last week's textination is probably going to be a lot better than the actual one. 15:27.880 --> 15:28.761 Yes, exactly. 15:28.841 --> 15:29.902 People have had time to think about it. 15:30.183 --> 15:30.383 Right. 15:30.883 --> 15:38.826 Anyway, she continues, I'm sure all your listeners remember how important it was to appear cool when they were struggling through those awkward adolescent years. 15:38.926 --> 15:42.227 This was especially hard when you lived in a small Devon town, as I did. 15:42.667 --> 15:55.411 In a desperate bid to appear cool for school at the age of 13, I started writing names of obscure bands on my school bag and then raising my eyes disparagingly when my friends had never heard of them. 15:55.911 --> 16:02.076 I told them that I'd caught them playing live at a gig in London when I went to stay with my cousin in inverted commas. 16:02.477 --> 16:13.065 I had in fact acquired the names by tuning in very briefly to a late night radio show that played only new hip music and staying long enough to jot down a couple of names before rushing back to the comfort of Wham! 16:13.265 --> 16:14.807 and Duran Duran on my tape deck. 16:15.227 --> 16:18.510 A year later when EastEnders made it cool to be from London. 16:19.471 --> 16:20.912 Was there really a time when that happened? 16:21.252 --> 16:23.773 Anyway, Sandy believes that there was. 16:24.313 --> 16:32.495 She says, I adopted literally overnight a London accent and then insisted to anyone who questioned it that I'd always spoken that way. 16:32.635 --> 16:38.096 Amazingly, they eventually accepted it as fact, even though I had known most of them since we were five. 16:38.376 --> 16:45.758 So I thought, for your text the nation this week, you could ask listeners what embarrassing things they did at school to appear cool. 16:45.778 --> 16:47.978 It doesn't necessarily have to be at school. 16:48.239 --> 16:50.259 No, you could have done these things throughout your life. 16:50.299 --> 16:56.004 But it's sort of things that you consciously tactically decide to do to improve your worth. 16:56.484 --> 16:59.026 You know, your lot, your cool, your cred. 16:59.266 --> 17:00.747 Thanks, Incidentally Sandy, for that. 17:00.968 --> 17:02.088 She's sent us some hugs. 17:02.669 --> 17:03.530 Ah, that's very nice. 17:03.630 --> 17:04.110 Very nice. 17:04.170 --> 17:05.271 Hugs back to you, Sandy. 17:05.671 --> 17:08.133 Yes, things that you've deliberately done to appear cool. 17:08.353 --> 17:09.634 Like two things occur to me. 17:09.935 --> 17:18.982 There was someone we went to school with who one day decided to model himself on Christoph Lambert from the film Subway. 17:19.042 --> 17:19.863 That's right. 17:20.703 --> 17:21.484 Subway was out. 17:21.544 --> 17:23.246 It was a very fashionable film. 17:23.446 --> 17:23.846 Luke Bessel. 17:23.866 --> 17:28.891 We were only little, but he decided to do his hair in that very particular way. 17:29.171 --> 17:30.192 What, peroxide? 17:30.232 --> 17:33.274 Yeah, peroxide and sort of a massive peroxide quiff. 17:33.434 --> 17:34.075 Was that how it was? 17:34.095 --> 17:34.936 It was very distinctive. 17:34.976 --> 17:36.097 It was like a bog brush do. 17:36.497 --> 17:36.857 Yeah. 17:37.017 --> 17:37.797 Sticking right up there. 17:37.817 --> 17:40.978 The thing was, one day he was a little nerdy boy. 17:40.998 --> 17:42.838 The next day was Am. 17:43.818 --> 17:45.259 He was a new creature. 17:45.819 --> 17:49.440 That was his problem in a way, that that sort of thing needs to happen slowly, doesn't it? 17:49.800 --> 17:53.000 It can't just suddenly, you can't just suddenly change like that. 17:53.100 --> 17:54.861 The thing is that he sort of got away with it, didn't you think? 17:54.901 --> 17:56.561 And he wore a long Mac as well. 17:56.581 --> 18:00.102 He basically dressed exactly like Christoph Lombair in Subway. 18:00.322 --> 18:02.202 Well, he had a good face, if I recall rightly. 18:02.382 --> 18:03.562 We thought he was amazing. 18:04.063 --> 18:05.723 You know, he really looked quite cool. 18:05.843 --> 18:06.123 Yeah. 18:06.723 --> 18:09.185 So much lady action. 18:09.265 --> 18:11.107 So that's one thing you might do to be cool. 18:11.367 --> 18:17.472 Like sit down at home and decide, right, I'm going to change my image and I'm going to change it instantly tomorrow morning. 18:17.953 --> 18:19.434 But if that's not an option, what do you do? 18:19.694 --> 18:20.415 You do little things. 18:20.455 --> 18:27.841 Well, there are smaller things like I once went through a phase of trying to learn how to... Now, what's the phrase? 18:28.241 --> 18:29.122 Expectorate. 18:29.682 --> 18:30.363 You mean gob. 18:30.623 --> 18:30.943 Yeah. 18:31.244 --> 18:31.564 Spit. 18:31.744 --> 18:32.825 Like footballers do. 18:33.326 --> 18:33.646 Flob. 18:33.906 --> 18:35.748 I thought, you know, I should really learn to flob. 18:36.228 --> 18:37.089 Everyone's doing it. 18:37.710 --> 18:38.891 Who had you seen flobbing? 18:39.091 --> 18:39.732 Footballers. 18:39.972 --> 18:42.695 I just thought it's something men, real men do. 18:43.075 --> 18:48.280 You walk down and you know, so I thought maybe I'd try and do that. 18:48.320 --> 18:50.742 I'm going to try and take up the most revolting 18:51.443 --> 18:52.804 thing that I can possibly take. 18:52.824 --> 18:54.565 I mean, that is the horrible thing in the world. 18:54.585 --> 18:56.146 It's revolting and it was a bad idea. 18:56.246 --> 18:58.667 It was very stupid, but it's a sort of hard thing to do. 18:58.927 --> 18:59.168 Right. 18:59.408 --> 18:59.968 You know what I mean? 18:59.988 --> 19:02.009 I mean, in France, that's illegal, I think, isn't it? 19:02.269 --> 19:02.710 It should be. 19:02.730 --> 19:10.254 They've got signs saying... Anyway, of course, whenever I tried it, when I got a frog in my throat, a little bit of a lump of mucus. 19:10.294 --> 19:12.095 Sorry, list as if you're eating or anything. 19:12.115 --> 19:13.496 This is kind of disgusting. 19:14.016 --> 19:18.779 But I tried to be like a footballer and it basically went all over my face. 19:19.179 --> 19:24.642 Right, if you do it in the wind... All down my chin, and down my neck, and then what do you do? 19:25.282 --> 19:28.984 Then you've got to start wiping, and... And it's all stringy, and it's not good. 19:29.684 --> 19:31.565 So that went... I decided not to. 19:31.906 --> 19:34.207 But you must have been getting excited... Is that the kind of thing you're talking about? 19:34.227 --> 19:35.227 Yeah, I think so, yeah. 19:35.487 --> 19:39.109 So, actual conscious decisions to try and make yourself cooler. 19:39.429 --> 19:45.052 Like, one thing I often try to do, but I stopped after a while, was try to do the very loud whistle that men do. 19:45.072 --> 19:45.653 The wolf whistle. 19:45.673 --> 19:47.354 You know, they stick to two fingers. 19:47.414 --> 19:47.674 Men do. 19:47.754 --> 19:47.954 Yeah. 19:48.334 --> 19:50.195 Like a lot of men building men and stuff like that. 19:50.735 --> 19:51.575 I wish we were men. 19:51.635 --> 19:52.456 Stick two fingers. 19:52.796 --> 19:53.696 I can't do it to this day. 19:53.736 --> 19:54.257 How do they do it? 19:54.517 --> 19:58.839 They stick a couple of fingers in their mouth and then they make an incredibly loud whistle. 20:00.659 --> 20:01.200 That's it. 20:02.120 --> 20:02.700 That's the noise. 20:03.020 --> 20:03.721 That's what they do. 20:03.761 --> 20:04.361 You can do it. 20:04.381 --> 20:10.203 I just f**ked all over the mic. 20:10.323 --> 20:12.384 Shout, oi darling, and make that noise. 20:12.404 --> 20:13.765 Oi darling! 20:16.638 --> 20:22.262 These are more things you do to try and be macho. 20:22.362 --> 20:23.363 Yeah, would that be better? 20:23.383 --> 20:29.647 This lady's could text us in things that they try and do to be more lady like because I'm sure they go wrong as well Yeah, sure. 20:29.987 --> 20:31.268 It's all part of the same thing though. 20:31.448 --> 20:34.590 It's all included in the Venn diagram of coolness, right? 20:34.690 --> 20:35.130 Yes. 20:35.150 --> 20:35.411 Yes. 20:35.511 --> 20:35.751 Yes. 20:35.811 --> 20:44.397 It's all part if you want to you know Trying to be the person you you want to be exactly you thought manly men were cool So you try to do a bit of flocking good. 20:44.417 --> 20:46.378 Well, I tried to do some wolf wolf whistling 20:46.778 --> 20:46.978 Yeah. 20:48.359 --> 20:49.039 I still can't do it. 20:49.059 --> 20:49.779 What's the secret? 20:49.959 --> 20:50.860 What is the secret? 20:51.020 --> 20:51.300 Can you? 20:51.320 --> 20:52.481 I mean, you can't do that. 20:52.501 --> 20:56.162 But Sandy had a good one there as well, pretending to like bands that you don't like. 20:56.222 --> 20:56.422 Right. 20:56.682 --> 20:58.303 So, was it a he or a she? 20:59.003 --> 20:59.764 I think Sandy. 20:59.804 --> 21:00.164 A man is a she. 21:00.204 --> 21:00.484 A man is a she. 21:00.504 --> 21:01.064 Or a lady is a she. 21:01.104 --> 21:01.625 Lady Sandy. 21:01.945 --> 21:02.585 Lady Sandy. 21:02.645 --> 21:04.406 She was writing the names of bands. 21:04.666 --> 21:06.267 She hadn't even listened to their music, really. 21:06.507 --> 21:06.667 No. 21:06.927 --> 21:09.168 She was writing them all over her textbooks. 21:09.188 --> 21:10.729 I mean, that is craven behaviour. 21:10.769 --> 21:11.569 That's outrageous. 21:11.969 --> 21:16.650 So the text number, listeners, is 64046 for ways you've attempted to be cool. 21:16.810 --> 21:19.611 And if they were disastrous, then that's extra good, isn't it? 21:19.631 --> 21:22.292 The other thing I used to do was talk in an American accent. 21:23.372 --> 21:23.853 Did you? 21:23.873 --> 21:24.673 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 21:24.873 --> 21:26.293 When I was around about nine. 21:27.174 --> 21:27.514 Really? 21:28.654 --> 21:32.855 Because I thought, you know, all I used to do is watch American cartoons and American shows and stuff. 21:32.875 --> 21:35.136 I thought, I wish I was American. 21:35.156 --> 21:38.457 Whenever I met an American person, I just thought they were so cool. 21:39.372 --> 21:42.381 And so I wanted to be cool like that and I would talk in American accent. 21:43.308 --> 21:45.610 But I wouldn't do it stupid. 21:45.850 --> 21:47.731 I really wanted people to think I was genuine. 21:47.751 --> 21:49.112 I think you should do it in this show. 21:49.132 --> 21:49.912 Genuine American. 21:50.173 --> 21:54.876 And I still have a little bit of American accent sometimes. 21:54.896 --> 21:55.656 You're cool. 21:55.796 --> 21:56.777 I'm really cool, yeah. 21:56.797 --> 21:57.698 Because I come from America. 21:57.718 --> 21:58.658 I don't know if you've been there. 21:59.099 --> 21:59.819 It's really cool. 21:59.859 --> 22:00.560 I go surfing. 22:00.620 --> 22:01.040 It's hot. 22:01.560 --> 22:03.622 I got Bermuda shorts on and shades. 22:04.362 --> 22:05.303 I'm from America. 22:06.063 --> 22:06.624 Did you know that? 22:07.144 --> 22:07.404 Yeah. 22:07.444 --> 22:08.245 Would you like a Coke? 22:08.625 --> 22:09.546 It's becoming clear. 22:09.606 --> 22:09.806 What? 22:10.226 --> 22:11.387 I got a Coke if you want it. 22:11.627 --> 22:12.387 I'm from America. 22:12.427 --> 22:12.868 Did you know? 22:13.628 --> 22:15.971 I got Bermuda shorts on and flip-flops, it's hot. 22:16.511 --> 22:18.373 It's really warm and I got shades. 22:19.754 --> 22:21.796 Oh buddy, let me tell you about it. 22:22.657 --> 22:23.297 You wanna coke? 22:23.538 --> 22:25.099 That's kind of a bit too convincing. 22:25.459 --> 22:26.160 It's a good accent. 22:26.180 --> 22:26.581 Good, isn't it? 22:26.721 --> 22:28.382 It wasn't that good when you were nine though, was it? 22:28.683 --> 22:29.143 More or less. 22:29.383 --> 22:29.703 Was it? 22:29.744 --> 22:31.445 Yeah, I could pretty much pass for America. 22:31.565 --> 22:32.326 I think you were cool. 22:32.586 --> 22:32.846 Yeah. 22:33.067 --> 22:35.069 Hey mom, I used to call her mom. 22:35.769 --> 22:36.069 Mum. 22:36.189 --> 22:36.429 Yeah. 22:36.449 --> 22:37.970 Everyone else is calling their mum mum. 22:38.110 --> 22:38.970 You're tuning out, aren't you? 22:39.470 --> 22:40.550 No, it's good. 22:40.611 --> 22:41.091 I'm listening. 22:41.111 --> 22:42.971 I'm feeling a bit sleepy. 22:42.991 --> 22:52.134 64046 is the text number for your entries to this week's amazing Text the Nation, which frankly is already a massive success. 22:52.174 --> 22:58.696 And as if we needed to make it more amazing, when we come back to it later on in the show, we're going to play you a new listener jingle for this special feature. 22:58.996 --> 23:02.099 But now it's time for great music and I love this song. 23:02.119 --> 23:04.420 This is the new one from Dove's Kingdom of Rust. 23:04.521 --> 23:04.701 Is it? 23:04.741 --> 23:05.702 No, this is not new, is it? 23:06.022 --> 23:06.442 It is new. 23:06.482 --> 23:07.423 Yeah, it's out on Monday. 23:07.563 --> 23:08.344 I get so confused. 23:08.644 --> 23:09.845 This is Kingdom of Rust by Dove's. 23:10.245 --> 23:10.706 Very nice. 23:11.366 --> 23:14.168 Dove's have announced a special trip to the woods this summer. 23:15.134 --> 23:24.398 Dove's fans when they will be appearing at the Delamere Forest in Cheshire as part of the Forestry Commission's annual series of concerts in spectacular woodland locations. 23:24.498 --> 23:25.259 That sounds great. 23:25.279 --> 23:25.839 Around the country. 23:25.859 --> 23:27.700 Have you ever been to one of those woody concerts? 23:27.820 --> 23:29.441 No, do you think it's a good idea? 23:29.601 --> 23:30.881 I hope they protect the woodland. 23:30.901 --> 23:31.742 Of course they would. 23:32.222 --> 23:33.963 The protection of the woodland would be paramount. 23:33.983 --> 23:37.304 There would be bins everywhere provided so there would be no littering. 23:37.645 --> 23:40.346 It would be like, do you remember when we went to Fuji Rock Festival in Japan? 23:40.746 --> 23:44.427 Yeah, but can the British people do that, like the Japanese people can do that? 23:44.567 --> 23:46.807 Well, maybe not, but I'm sure they would. 23:46.827 --> 23:48.848 When I say do that, I mean, be amazingly clean. 23:48.888 --> 23:49.348 Yeah, exactly. 23:49.368 --> 23:49.908 And respectful. 23:49.928 --> 23:50.288 Exactly. 23:50.328 --> 24:00.190 I mean, the Japanese people out there, they've got those little ashtray receptacles around their necks, so there's absolutely no question that you would smoke a dirty ciggy and then put it on the ground. 24:01.031 --> 24:02.631 It's spotlessly clean everywhere. 24:02.651 --> 24:03.111 It's wonderful. 24:03.706 --> 24:05.867 Anyway, that's Dove's news for you. 24:06.088 --> 24:08.429 So Joe, I was on my bike this week, right? 24:09.109 --> 24:12.351 And I was paying attention to all the road signs and everything. 24:13.072 --> 24:14.473 Cycling very responsibly this week. 24:15.333 --> 24:19.156 And I was coming into London, stopped at lights, because I always loved to stop at lights. 24:19.936 --> 24:22.298 And there were lots of cops holding up the traffic. 24:23.318 --> 24:25.800 And I sort of thought, oh, hello. 24:26.141 --> 24:26.781 Who's coming? 24:26.981 --> 24:27.362 Hello. 24:27.602 --> 24:28.022 Hello. 24:28.182 --> 24:28.803 What's all this? 24:29.523 --> 24:30.464 I've got places to be. 24:30.885 --> 24:31.845 What are you doing? 24:32.346 --> 24:37.830 And then the courtesge started approaching all the black limos and stuff. 24:38.451 --> 24:40.773 And I thought, oh, it's going to be some MP or whatever. 24:41.674 --> 24:42.194 The Queen. 24:42.734 --> 24:43.055 No. 24:43.355 --> 24:44.356 The Q-Monster. 24:44.496 --> 24:46.898 Now, she drives around in special cars, doesn't she? 24:47.238 --> 24:47.458 Yeah. 24:47.518 --> 24:48.940 Have unusually large windows. 24:49.700 --> 24:50.061 Right. 24:50.221 --> 24:50.601 Doesn't she? 24:50.641 --> 24:53.204 Was she in a normal car or a special Queenie reveal? 24:53.264 --> 24:55.927 It looked like a pretty much normal flash limo. 24:55.987 --> 24:57.228 Was she visible through the window? 24:57.549 --> 24:58.810 Easily visible. 24:58.990 --> 25:01.253 I was as far away from her as I am from you now. 25:01.553 --> 25:04.496 Queenie Queenie Queenie! 25:06.798 --> 25:09.459 that mighty Q. I was so excited. 25:09.479 --> 25:12.041 I was totally unprepared for how excited I was. 25:12.321 --> 25:13.281 It was amazing. 25:13.482 --> 25:16.843 That happened to me around the time that Fergie got married. 25:16.943 --> 25:17.224 Right. 25:17.624 --> 25:19.865 I was so cynical about Fergie's wedding. 25:19.905 --> 25:20.145 Sure. 25:20.525 --> 25:24.127 And then a friend said they could get me into their office on Whitehall. 25:24.988 --> 25:29.090 And as soon as I got in the office in Whitehall and saw Fergie drive past Fergie fever. 25:29.810 --> 25:31.031 I went crazy for Fergie. 25:31.531 --> 25:33.492 I literally went, oh my god, I've got Fergie fever! 25:34.692 --> 25:35.713 And just started going mad. 25:36.293 --> 25:38.394 As soon as she'd gone, then the day was over, that was it. 25:39.094 --> 25:41.935 Couldn't give a flying fig about Fergie or anything, she does. 25:42.536 --> 25:45.217 But just for that day, Fergie fever! 25:46.057 --> 25:46.577 Fergie! 25:47.338 --> 25:51.500 I was so excited about The Queen, partly because I saw the film that she was in. 25:51.640 --> 25:52.840 Yeah, she was good in that one. 25:52.860 --> 25:53.761 She came across really well. 25:54.121 --> 25:55.421 She looks a lot like Helen Mirren in it. 25:57.582 --> 26:02.864 That's a little noise for your joke. 26:06.746 --> 26:08.366 It didn't even deserve a proper honk. 26:12.087 --> 26:12.948 Thanks very much. 26:13.688 --> 26:16.749 Sorry. 26:17.589 --> 26:18.470 They don't do like a... 26:19.890 --> 26:24.676 Anyway, a little airborne toxic event. 26:24.816 --> 26:26.438 Yeah, I released a new fragrance. 26:26.498 --> 26:32.865 But no, you know, I was I was excited because of the film, but also just, you know, she's one of the most famous people in the world, of course. 26:32.885 --> 26:33.065 Yes. 26:33.846 --> 26:36.128 And she has a certain dignity about her. 26:36.529 --> 26:38.031 I felt sorry for her as well. 26:38.051 --> 26:40.033 There's such a tangle of emotions, you know. 26:40.373 --> 26:43.996 to be someone who's so visible the whole time and to have everyone just staring at you. 26:44.356 --> 26:48.180 Also, I felt sorry for the fact that no one else around me seemed visibly excited. 26:48.260 --> 26:50.101 No one was waving, no one was smiling. 26:50.121 --> 26:50.902 You know what I mean? 26:50.922 --> 26:53.264 It was all like, the Queen, the Queen. 26:53.324 --> 26:56.086 It was as if it was like a scene from The Queen 2. 26:56.787 --> 26:57.047 Right. 26:57.247 --> 26:58.528 The sequel to the film, The Queen. 26:58.548 --> 26:59.209 Return of the Queen. 26:59.409 --> 27:02.051 Yeah, where one of the problems is everyone's lost interest. 27:02.652 --> 27:05.514 And in that scene, she drives through what area of London was she driving through? 27:05.968 --> 27:07.490 I was near Liverpool Street Station. 27:08.450 --> 27:14.236 Let me drive around Liverpool Street Station like I normally do and see whether the public acknowledge me. 27:14.596 --> 27:16.338 Mum, I'm not sure that's a good idea. 27:16.358 --> 27:17.839 No, I must do it. 27:18.239 --> 27:20.902 Surely one peasant will wave at me? 27:21.543 --> 27:23.925 Well, Mum, if you really want to, we can. 27:23.945 --> 27:26.047 I see Adam Buxton's down there on his bike. 27:26.667 --> 27:27.608 I know he's a big fan. 27:27.628 --> 27:28.249 Did you wave? 27:28.969 --> 27:29.310 Or did you go, 27:30.765 --> 27:34.466 You know, I remained impassive, outwardly. 27:34.706 --> 27:46.149 But I bet all the people around me, at least a few of them, must have been going through what I was going through, like being very excited, but too, you know, trying to maintain a cool exterior and not wanting to be outwardly excited. 27:46.169 --> 27:46.249 Yes. 27:46.289 --> 27:47.910 When's Prince Willy's going to get married? 27:48.530 --> 27:49.770 That's what this country needs. 27:49.930 --> 27:50.611 Nice royal wedding. 27:50.711 --> 27:51.831 Big royal wedding. 27:51.951 --> 27:52.231 Yeah. 27:52.891 --> 27:53.832 Because everyone likes willows. 27:53.872 --> 27:54.072 Yeah. 27:54.172 --> 27:54.912 Force him into it. 27:55.792 --> 27:57.094 That's what all the others do. 27:57.154 --> 27:58.096 An arranged marriage. 27:58.116 --> 27:59.298 Yeah, just force him into it. 27:59.638 --> 28:01.561 They can get divorced in a few years, it's fine. 28:01.601 --> 28:01.881 That's right. 28:01.901 --> 28:03.604 Let's just have all the ceremony and pump. 28:04.185 --> 28:04.926 I love pump. 28:05.206 --> 28:06.147 I love a bit of pump. 28:06.167 --> 28:06.969 I love being pumped. 28:07.029 --> 28:08.471 I just pumped one out just then. 28:10.994 --> 28:28.932 okay here's some more music and we what are we gonna do next we're gonna have a free play this is from uh this is some old school hippity hop and it's from big daddy kane do you know him bdk yeah he did a song for a film called uh the what was the film called i think the film was called lean on me it was a film about one of those films about a bad school 28:29.612 --> 28:42.904 Where where a teacher comes in and sets everything straight to shelf dangerous mind style I never saw it, but this is the single he did for it That's really good and it's sort of instructional stuff to teach children how to behave So it's got some good advice in it for young people. 28:43.064 --> 28:43.424 Excellent. 28:43.485 --> 28:51.952 This is big daddy Kane with lean on me This is the voice of the big big castle It is the top of the hour. 28:52.072 --> 28:53.513 Oh, that's wonderful. 28:53.734 --> 28:56.336 I got so bored with the last hour and it's 29:01.481 --> 29:03.542 Now, The Apprentice was on last week. 29:04.522 --> 29:07.463 Big flagship, big British Castle production. 29:07.923 --> 29:13.825 It got something like 8.1 million viewers, the largest number that the show has ever got. 29:14.585 --> 29:15.386 It's funny that, isn't it? 29:15.446 --> 29:24.028 The way when programmes feel really sort of as if they've gone to one series too many, or as if they've done everything they possibly can. 29:24.448 --> 29:25.589 The viewing figures always peak. 29:26.289 --> 29:27.050 Yes, of course. 29:27.430 --> 29:28.351 Instead of falling away. 29:28.371 --> 29:29.792 But that's brilliant news. 29:30.693 --> 29:33.155 And I sat down very excited to watch it. 29:33.235 --> 29:35.437 That's brilliant news, you say, after saying all that. 29:35.817 --> 29:39.080 Only because I was slightly disappointed that they haven't changed it at all. 29:39.300 --> 29:42.403 Yeah, but you don't want if you've got like, don't mess with a formula, right? 29:42.743 --> 29:46.786 Well, obviously, I mean, when you've nailed something as much as they have, you've got sugar. 29:46.806 --> 29:49.809 I mean, obviously, there's a chance that it's going to be a parody of itself after a while. 29:50.089 --> 29:50.490 Yeah. 29:50.550 --> 29:52.211 But it already sort of is though, isn't it? 29:52.692 --> 29:56.635 Well, I guess they change the contestants and that's the only thing that has to change. 29:57.556 --> 30:09.226 But I'm getting a little sort of, what's the word, intrigued about certain aspects of The Apprentice and I wonder whether anyone who's listening knows anybody who works on it who can answer some questions I've got. 30:10.087 --> 30:15.571 Because the more you watch that show, the more... I kind of want to know how it's made. 30:16.211 --> 30:20.273 They seem to be cutting away or not showing us certain things. 30:20.854 --> 30:24.336 You know, to kind of make it not fit into the real world as we know it. 30:25.096 --> 30:26.837 I've got some questions about The Apprentice. 30:27.158 --> 30:33.361 I want to know how much the contestants are directed to take the ridiculous procedures seriously. 30:33.822 --> 30:35.623 Like, to take Alan Sugar seriously. 30:36.223 --> 30:40.225 Because the way he talks to you and the atmosphere in the boardroom, you've seen it in the past, right? 30:40.265 --> 30:40.465 Sure. 30:40.685 --> 30:43.826 When they go into that boardroom, it's ridiculous, isn't it? 30:43.966 --> 30:44.566 Yeah, it's ludicrous. 30:44.586 --> 30:46.327 It's absolutely ludicrous. 30:46.387 --> 30:52.670 And they sit there as if it's the most frightening thing in the world, when, you know, it must be very difficult not to giggle. 30:52.910 --> 30:53.190 Yes. 30:53.590 --> 31:03.860 The human instinct in one of those really serious situations, like if a teacher flies off the handle at school, the human instinct is just to giggle out of nervousness and tension. 31:04.200 --> 31:09.165 So presumably there must be a director in the room who tells them not to, who says, look, 31:10.026 --> 31:15.788 We're filming the boardroom scene, so we need to get some shots of you waiting in the room outside, but don't talk to each other. 31:16.268 --> 31:21.489 Don't look at each other, just stare and try and look as if it's the most amazingly frightening thing in the world. 31:21.569 --> 31:22.149 I'm sure they do. 31:22.169 --> 31:22.409 OK? 31:22.850 --> 31:27.791 Then when we get in there, on no account, giggle in any way, make sure you take it very seriously. 31:28.491 --> 31:39.024 Some of the things Alan says will be really stupid and absurd and you might get the feeling the whole thing's pathetic and Ridiculous, but repress that and take it really seriously. 31:39.125 --> 31:40.226 Okay action. 31:40.787 --> 31:41.387 Do they do that? 31:41.467 --> 31:44.331 I'm sure but that's how TVs constructed in general isn't it? 31:44.571 --> 31:48.593 Yeah, but you can almost feel it happening just outside of the frame, that's the problem. 31:48.613 --> 31:56.198 And it doesn't take much to convince the participants as well because, you know, they know it's a big show, they know that it's a big exposure, so they can get into it. 31:56.398 --> 32:01.981 Question number two, are the contestants instructed to think of an absurdly grandiose team name? 32:02.461 --> 32:02.581 Right. 32:02.601 --> 32:05.543 Now, we've talked about the team names before and how stupid they are. 32:05.943 --> 32:07.464 Can you remember what are they this week? 32:08.024 --> 32:10.346 Magnum Force and Thrust a lot. 32:10.546 --> 32:11.046 Alpha Tron. 32:11.287 --> 32:12.027 Alpha Tron. 32:12.888 --> 32:17.611 But surely the producer must say now it's time to film the bit when you think of your names. 32:18.732 --> 32:23.336 Can we call ourselves Team Hopefully or something? 32:23.356 --> 32:24.076 What would be a good name? 32:25.197 --> 32:25.798 Team Johnson. 32:26.078 --> 32:27.879 Team, but just by the name of the leader. 32:28.059 --> 32:28.260 Yeah. 32:28.420 --> 32:29.020 Yeah, Blue Team. 32:29.340 --> 32:30.421 We just want to be called Blue Team. 32:31.022 --> 32:32.763 No, you can't call yourselves Blue Team. 32:32.803 --> 32:33.964 It's not stupid enough. 32:34.424 --> 32:36.986 Call yourself something really grandiose and over the top. 32:37.286 --> 32:39.267 They probably come up with a few names for them, do you think? 32:39.287 --> 32:40.087 They give them a list. 32:40.147 --> 32:42.148 Well, this is what I'm increasingly thinking. 32:42.488 --> 32:45.710 The Margaret and the bloke, I forget what his name is. 32:45.910 --> 32:46.671 He's just called the bloke. 32:47.011 --> 32:48.272 Sorelland's henchmen. 32:48.312 --> 32:50.633 Margaret and the bloke. 32:50.693 --> 32:52.214 That's going to be the spinoff series. 32:52.734 --> 32:53.734 She has a dossier. 32:53.774 --> 32:59.938 You can see that they've got a dossier of information and contacts and stuff that they never really show you what's in it. 33:00.618 --> 33:01.759 And I want to know what's in it. 33:02.240 --> 33:06.924 My third question is, can they really go anywhere and do business with anybody? 33:07.324 --> 33:12.109 Or do they in this dossier have a list of people who've already agreed to go on the show? 33:12.369 --> 33:13.109 Yeah, of course. 33:14.130 --> 33:18.294 But they show them looking through the yellow pages, literally randomly picking businesses. 33:18.354 --> 33:19.135 I see, right. 33:19.375 --> 33:21.077 But that's not how television works, is it? 33:21.517 --> 33:22.498 No, it's not. 33:23.058 --> 33:23.519 It's a fiction. 33:23.539 --> 33:25.340 I mean, it's strange, isn't it? 33:25.400 --> 33:34.388 In the current climate of accountability and transparency, it's amazing that these fictions are allowed to persist, but they would be rubbish if they didn't. 33:34.828 --> 33:39.412 Or if they do, just randomly, like they had to clean cars in this week's episode. 33:39.572 --> 33:45.497 So one of them went to Addison Lee, quite a big cab company that lots of media companies use. 33:45.957 --> 33:49.300 They're famous for, if you get picked up for a TV show, it's always Addison Lee, isn't it? 33:49.920 --> 34:15.068 Well, other minicaps companies are available, of course, but there they were washing cars for Addison Lee in a weird coincidence So presumably a researcher from the apprentice calls up the company and says Hello, you're about to be called by somebody from the apprentice They will have a ridiculous name and they will speak as if they're in some sort of toddlers fantasy business world We humor them 34:16.148 --> 34:22.675 At no point mention the name of the program or that you're on telly treat them as if they're a real business person Okay, is that what happens? 34:22.835 --> 34:27.779 Would you like it though if they actually if they included in the program things that punctured some of these? 34:28.160 --> 34:38.990 Yes Yeah, well, I'd just like to see a really honest Show about the making of it right about actually how they go about making it Because that would make it seem a little bit less like the generation game. 34:39.150 --> 34:39.410 Yeah 34:40.171 --> 34:42.513 Either that, or swap Alan for Brucey. 34:43.373 --> 34:47.836 And instead of doing business tasks, they have to make pots out of clay on wheels. 34:48.317 --> 34:49.417 You know what I was thinking? 34:49.477 --> 34:50.518 That's a nice idea by the way. 34:50.538 --> 34:50.818 It is, isn't it? 34:50.838 --> 34:52.620 I would watch it if they did that. 34:53.180 --> 34:54.641 I met one of the guys. 34:54.701 --> 34:56.482 Who was the guy from the last show? 34:56.522 --> 34:57.823 What are you doing? 34:57.983 --> 35:05.709 Well, through that, if I sounded a bit laboured with my brilliant apprentice discussion, it's because Adam spent the whole time foraging in his bag, going on his bloomin' iPhone. 35:05.749 --> 35:07.350 No, because I... What are you doing? 35:07.990 --> 35:10.012 That was very difficult to focus on. 35:10.032 --> 35:11.033 Was I not being supportive? 35:11.094 --> 35:12.515 No, not at all. 35:12.535 --> 35:15.658 It was like you were texting a friend or something. 35:15.718 --> 35:16.239 What are you doing? 35:16.459 --> 35:17.981 I'm really sorry if that came across. 35:19.122 --> 35:22.746 I was trying to find the name of the guy who I met who was in the last series. 35:23.607 --> 35:26.050 What was his name, the guy who got into all the trouble about the chicken? 35:26.850 --> 35:27.971 Oh yeah, I can't remember. 35:28.011 --> 35:29.452 That's one of the weird things about these shows. 35:29.492 --> 35:34.134 When the new series comes on, one's memory of the old series just completely evaporates. 35:34.334 --> 35:36.735 I'm going to try and find it during the next song and we can try and give them a call. 35:36.755 --> 35:42.138 Alright, let's talk about it properly in a way that you're engaged with during after the next song. 35:42.158 --> 35:42.619 What is this? 35:42.639 --> 35:43.439 It's all switching round. 35:43.459 --> 35:44.440 Do your job. 35:44.480 --> 35:45.420 Read the name of the song. 35:45.640 --> 35:46.921 Alright, this is Frank Music. 35:47.161 --> 35:48.582 This is better off as two. 35:49.161 --> 35:53.623 Gomez with Airstream Driver, you're listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 35:53.663 --> 36:06.530 Now, what Adam was doing during my brilliant Apprentice speech was trying to find the number of Michael Sophocles, who was a contestant in the previous series, who turns out Adam met at some... What was he? 36:06.570 --> 36:08.030 At the Loaded Laughter Awards. 36:08.050 --> 36:08.811 The Laughter's. 36:10.132 --> 36:12.253 And Michael Sophocles gave Adam his number. 36:12.273 --> 36:13.433 I don't know why he gave me his number. 36:13.453 --> 36:14.634 He had no clue who I was. 36:14.654 --> 36:18.956 Because he wanted to come on our radio programme and talk about behind the scenes at the Apprentice. 36:19.056 --> 36:23.377 Yeah, he did say who are you and what's the point of you in so many words. 36:23.777 --> 36:25.698 And I said, oh, you know, I'd do a radio show and stuff. 36:25.738 --> 36:28.539 Maybe you could come on the radio show and he said, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll give you my number. 36:28.639 --> 36:29.119 There you go. 36:29.179 --> 36:33.360 So during that last record, Adam left a message on his phone, didn't you, Adam? 36:33.560 --> 36:33.800 Yes. 36:33.840 --> 36:35.601 Well, it rang and rang for a very long time. 36:35.641 --> 36:39.442 And usually that means that the person is looking at it and going, who the heck is that? 36:39.682 --> 36:40.342 Or he's asleep. 36:40.702 --> 36:41.803 Or he's asleep, right. 36:42.283 --> 36:43.203 Probably with a beautiful woman. 36:43.223 --> 36:45.164 Or he's protesting with a beautiful woman. 36:45.264 --> 36:45.844 Exactly. 36:46.364 --> 36:51.105 Anyway, you know, if you know Michael, and maybe that's not even his number anymore. 36:51.125 --> 36:52.465 He could have just given me the wrong number. 36:52.705 --> 36:53.205 It didn't say. 36:53.305 --> 36:54.806 Hello, this is Michael Safakles. 36:55.026 --> 36:58.326 I'm eating a Halal chicken and I can't take your call right now. 36:59.267 --> 37:00.387 So it could have been anyone. 37:00.447 --> 37:03.127 But if you know Safakles, give him a shout. 37:03.247 --> 37:06.768 Tell him to call us here on the show. 37:07.148 --> 37:09.489 We haven't really got a number for him though that we can give out. 37:10.129 --> 37:11.349 We can ask someone to text though. 37:12.069 --> 37:14.651 You were talking, you were suggesting giving out, oh, our number. 37:14.731 --> 37:14.931 Yeah, yeah. 37:14.951 --> 37:18.373 I thought you were talking about giving out his number and getting the listeners all to call him. 37:19.213 --> 37:22.235 And if you know him, go round his house, wake him up. 37:22.275 --> 37:23.416 Just get Sophocles. 37:23.736 --> 37:24.617 Get Sophocles. 37:24.637 --> 37:25.857 That's not what we're saying. 37:25.917 --> 37:26.138 No. 37:26.338 --> 37:27.939 What we are saying is leave him alone. 37:28.399 --> 37:28.999 Leave him alone. 37:29.159 --> 37:32.321 If you know him, tell him to give us a call or text us, 64046. 37:33.822 --> 37:34.663 We'd like to talk to him. 37:34.963 --> 37:36.003 We'd like to talk to you. 37:36.043 --> 37:38.485 We've got a couple of questions for you, Mr. Sophocles. 37:38.905 --> 37:40.246 Okay, time for this jingle. 37:56.059 --> 37:58.601 That's a listener-made jingle, in case you didn't notice. 37:58.641 --> 38:00.042 Scott Smith sent that one in. 38:00.082 --> 38:01.784 He sent us a couple, actually, both very good. 38:01.844 --> 38:02.824 Thank you for that one, Scott. 38:03.105 --> 38:05.386 Incidentally, thanks to everyone who's been sending us jingles. 38:05.847 --> 38:09.970 Boy, some of you are quite, uh, quite, uh... What's the word? 38:10.070 --> 38:10.971 Creative, yeah. 38:11.811 --> 38:13.052 There are some brilliant ones. 38:13.112 --> 38:14.593 There are some quite eccentric ones. 38:14.613 --> 38:29.542 Yeah, but there are also some brilliant ones people have gone to amazing lengths Mmm, we've had like beautiful beautifully presented CDs with track listings and lyrics and stuff on them all sorts of amazing things and we're gonna be Plop plopping them into the show. 38:29.602 --> 38:34.325 Yeah in the future surprise plops and we might try and put some on the website as well. 38:34.345 --> 38:34.746 I think I 38:35.666 --> 38:43.648 Yeah, I feel funny though, even though that was a brilliant jingle, it feels strange doing textination without the textination jingle. 38:43.668 --> 38:44.428 Right, right, right. 38:44.468 --> 38:46.909 That sort of sharp, synthy sound in my head. 38:47.509 --> 38:50.729 It activates certain parts of my brain that have failed to be activated. 38:50.789 --> 38:52.030 Let's bash it in anyway, Ben. 38:54.390 --> 38:57.171 Textination, text, text, text, textination. 38:57.251 --> 38:58.211 What if I don't want to? 38:58.451 --> 38:59.171 Textination. 38:59.271 --> 39:00.272 But I'm using email. 39:00.432 --> 39:01.192 Is that a problem? 39:01.212 --> 39:02.032 It doesn't matter, text! 39:04.147 --> 39:04.747 There you go. 39:04.787 --> 39:07.369 That's that's the bracing, synthy thinness. 39:07.469 --> 39:08.090 That's the ticket. 39:08.210 --> 39:09.010 That wakes me up. 39:09.691 --> 39:12.653 Text the Nation this week is all about things you do to appear cool. 39:13.233 --> 39:13.373 Yeah. 39:13.433 --> 39:15.055 Or you've done in the past to appear cool. 39:15.095 --> 39:17.096 Strategies for upping your cool ante. 39:17.376 --> 39:20.979 We've heard about Joe's attempts at mastering the manly art of flogging. 39:21.479 --> 39:22.400 Didn't go very well. 39:23.680 --> 39:27.363 And I was talking about affecting an American accent to appear cool. 39:27.543 --> 39:29.025 Here's a text from Dan in Bristol. 39:29.085 --> 39:32.148 I'm not sure why but I thought watches were cool when I was young. 39:32.709 --> 39:40.317 I'd be very eager to tell people the time so that I could reveal the three or four watches I was wearing in order to wow them. 39:40.417 --> 39:41.378 Like bananas gorilla. 39:41.678 --> 39:44.742 Dan thinks that multiple watch wearing is cool. 39:45.583 --> 39:47.625 Do women like men with lots of watches? 39:47.966 --> 39:48.306 Did you? 39:48.547 --> 39:49.688 Have you met Graham? 39:49.848 --> 39:51.110 He's so punctual. 39:51.130 --> 39:52.852 Do you know how many watches he's got? 39:53.754 --> 39:54.915 They go all the way up his arm. 39:54.955 --> 39:56.157 They go right up his arm. 39:56.217 --> 39:57.719 I love to take them off one by one. 39:59.141 --> 39:59.681 You know what? 39:59.902 --> 40:01.264 He's got an ankle watch. 40:03.405 --> 40:05.246 He ticks in special places. 40:06.887 --> 40:08.448 You wouldn't imagine where he talks. 40:09.669 --> 40:10.109 He... what? 40:11.770 --> 40:12.570 I know what he means. 40:12.711 --> 40:13.531 I know what he means. 40:13.611 --> 40:14.311 Watches are cool. 40:14.351 --> 40:18.534 And I remember the feeling that I got when I got my first digital watch. 40:19.114 --> 40:21.856 I used to wear my sleeve very high. 40:21.876 --> 40:23.957 You know, I used to let it ride high on my arm. 40:23.997 --> 40:26.399 Rolling up your sleeves is something you can do to appear cool. 40:27.495 --> 40:28.977 just day to day, just around the place. 40:29.017 --> 40:29.778 Look, I've done it now. 40:30.479 --> 40:31.741 I'm more business-like, aren't I? 40:31.901 --> 40:32.562 Ready for action. 40:32.582 --> 40:38.369 Yeah, I can plunge that arm all the way up to the elbow into anything. 40:38.990 --> 40:40.893 If you needed to deliver a sheep or something. 40:41.153 --> 40:42.014 Right, straight in there. 40:42.195 --> 40:42.795 Exactly. 40:42.875 --> 40:43.156 Bang. 40:43.416 --> 40:43.957 Can't talk. 40:44.057 --> 40:44.698 Straight in there. 40:45.538 --> 40:48.699 Here's one from... Straight in there, mate. 40:48.759 --> 40:49.440 Tired in there, mate. 40:49.700 --> 40:51.620 Here's one from Marie in East Dulwich. 40:52.160 --> 41:04.965 Whenever my mum or dad left the car parked in the supermarket, I used to stay in the car and move on to the driver's seat, twirling the keys in my hand, hoping people from school would pass by and think the car was mine. 41:05.705 --> 41:05.885 I was 13. 41:05.985 --> 41:07.646 That's good. 41:08.046 --> 41:10.887 Wow, she's 13, but she's allowed to drive and she owns the car. 41:12.216 --> 41:13.536 And that would be illegal, though, wouldn't it? 41:13.556 --> 41:14.017 Yeah. 41:14.677 --> 41:16.337 Presumably it wasn't a very cool car, though. 41:16.357 --> 41:18.638 I mean, it'd be like a family car. 41:19.198 --> 41:20.038 We don't really know. 41:20.058 --> 41:22.059 Unless her dad drove a Porsche or something. 41:22.519 --> 41:30.661 Aidan in Balimina says, in order to impress my crew in the mid-80s, I autographed all of my LPs on behalf of the artiste. 41:31.821 --> 41:37.903 Initially, the ploy worked, but when I liberally scribbled to Aidan from Larry the Edge, Adam and Bono, keep it real. 41:39.183 --> 41:40.064 The game was up. 41:40.504 --> 41:41.625 Not cool at all. 41:43.026 --> 41:45.048 Well, that's an insane plan. 41:45.068 --> 41:45.668 Keep it real. 41:46.809 --> 41:48.110 That's exactly what they'd write. 41:51.112 --> 41:52.173 Here's one from Casper. 41:52.213 --> 41:54.494 We always get brilliant males from Casper. 41:54.534 --> 41:55.375 He's a regular, isn't he? 41:55.495 --> 41:55.795 Is he? 41:55.835 --> 41:56.716 Okay, I'm sure he is. 41:57.236 --> 42:03.981 Dear Adam and Joe, while never actually adopting any long-term strategies to appear cool, preferring rather to blend into the background, 42:04.501 --> 42:13.784 I remember once telling my whole class in primary school that being half Polish as I am, I was a child star in a Polish film about a little chimney sweep. 42:15.105 --> 42:19.686 It seemed fairly safe, as I didn't think anyone would go to the effort of verifying it. 42:20.627 --> 42:22.347 That's a good strategy. 42:22.767 --> 42:22.907 Yeah. 42:31.050 --> 42:32.071 Who would verify that? 42:32.171 --> 42:33.312 Who would disbelieve that? 42:34.133 --> 42:37.396 You know, there's a certain type of lie that's sort of so elaborate and pathetic. 42:37.957 --> 42:39.538 It's like conjuring, really. 42:39.739 --> 42:41.881 Well, in the olden days as well, pre-internet. 42:42.061 --> 42:48.847 When you say it's like conjuring, because often when you find out how magicians do tricks, it's just the most laborious, pathetic technique in the world. 42:48.927 --> 42:49.288 Exactly. 42:49.308 --> 42:52.771 And the reason you don't think of it is because you think, what? 42:52.811 --> 42:54.793 They went to all that trouble to do that? 42:54.973 --> 42:55.474 Yeah. 42:56.514 --> 42:57.816 That's how a lot of magic works. 42:57.876 --> 42:59.477 It's the same with elaborate lies. 42:59.738 --> 43:00.218 Exactly. 43:00.258 --> 43:03.762 Well, he wouldn't lie that he was in a film about a chimney sweep. 43:03.802 --> 43:07.065 I mean, that would be really utterly depressing. 43:07.125 --> 43:09.668 I mean, he'd just be an idiot toll. 43:10.109 --> 43:11.490 Absolutely. 43:11.550 --> 43:12.351 Idiot toll. 43:13.112 --> 43:17.256 So you believe it, but really, he is an idiot toll. 43:19.142 --> 43:22.063 That's the special deep secret. 43:22.103 --> 43:26.364 Imagine, though, if he went on in later life and actually was in a film about a little child chimney. 43:26.424 --> 43:26.765 Yes. 43:27.085 --> 43:28.785 You know, I'd like to write that script, though. 43:28.825 --> 43:29.946 That sounds like a fun film. 43:30.126 --> 43:30.346 Yeah. 43:30.666 --> 43:34.067 Have you seen the film about the little child, the Polish little child chimney? 43:34.087 --> 43:35.347 Well, would it be like the red balloon? 43:35.367 --> 43:37.288 Would it be like no dialogue and really meaningful? 43:37.368 --> 43:37.828 Yes. 43:38.508 --> 43:39.189 It's very moving. 43:39.209 --> 43:40.989 There'd be another world up the chimney, wouldn't there? 43:41.009 --> 43:43.170 Stars that guy, you know, the idiot hole. 43:43.450 --> 43:43.850 Casper. 43:44.490 --> 43:45.611 It's Casper from London. 43:46.911 --> 43:47.591 He's half Polish. 43:47.611 --> 43:48.552 Thanks for that, Casper. 43:48.772 --> 43:56.495 You know, I remember pretending my mum is Chilean and I remember thinking that it was so cool that I felt like I was mixed race. 43:57.015 --> 43:57.415 Right. 43:57.635 --> 44:01.736 I'm mixed race because that was the coolest thing as far as I was concerned. 44:01.776 --> 44:02.397 Wouldn't it be great? 44:02.897 --> 44:04.017 Yeah, I'm mixed race. 44:04.057 --> 44:04.577 Yeah, yeah. 44:04.617 --> 44:05.318 My mum's Chilean. 44:06.738 --> 44:07.618 It is still quite cool. 44:07.638 --> 44:08.559 I'm a little bit jealous. 44:08.579 --> 44:09.079 Yeah, sure. 44:09.139 --> 44:11.219 Because I'm so exotic. 44:11.399 --> 44:13.520 Here's another one from Joanna Coates. 44:14.160 --> 44:18.701 At school, during my A-level art, I suddenly realized a few things about society. 44:19.141 --> 44:21.602 I was just a product of capitalist society. 44:22.302 --> 44:25.883 I wanted my friends to realize where we all were. 44:26.383 --> 44:32.625 So I got a white T-shirt from H&M and stenciled the word product on it in big letters. 44:33.525 --> 44:34.846 and join the manic street preachers. 44:53.041 --> 44:53.481 These are good. 44:53.521 --> 44:54.281 Keep them coming in. 44:55.042 --> 44:56.542 We're going to play a little bit of music right now. 44:56.582 --> 44:57.502 This is a free play. 44:58.022 --> 45:01.123 And, Joe, did you know that the clocks are going forward tonight? 45:01.283 --> 45:09.086 Yeah, someone was texted in saying that's probably why we played that Jesus Jones song at the top of the show that was all about today's tomorrow and time zones. 45:09.126 --> 45:10.426 Now that was the Jack Piñata one. 45:10.586 --> 45:18.294 Oh, I'm sorry, the Jack Piñata one that maybe the person who puts the playlist together was giving us a little prompt there to talk about time zone changes. 45:18.314 --> 45:18.774 There you go. 45:18.794 --> 45:20.356 Hourless in bed tomorrow morning. 45:20.556 --> 45:23.359 A frightful, unlistenable, cacophonous musical kick. 45:24.700 --> 45:25.781 British summertime. 45:26.562 --> 45:27.904 And it's a joke though, isn't it? 45:27.924 --> 45:29.766 Because it is by no means summer out there. 45:29.866 --> 45:36.655 However, to make you feel a little more as if you are sipping a cocktail by a barmy beach. 45:37.176 --> 45:37.717 Is that right? 45:38.117 --> 45:39.519 On a barmy day by a beach. 45:39.980 --> 45:41.862 Here is Frank Sinatra with Summer Wind. 45:42.703 --> 45:44.144 Nice to have you along. 45:44.664 --> 45:46.585 I was Frank Sinatra with Summer Wind. 45:47.085 --> 45:50.547 You're listening to Adam and Joe on the Smoothie Station. 45:51.608 --> 45:54.229 Playing smooth music all the smoothie time. 45:54.930 --> 45:58.532 Make yourself a smoothie and sit back and relax. 45:58.692 --> 45:59.992 I was hoping you would jump in. 46:00.033 --> 46:02.854 No, I was so lulled into a comfortable area. 46:03.294 --> 46:04.615 Mmm, smooth. 46:05.335 --> 46:06.096 Clean your sheets. 46:06.656 --> 46:07.937 And put them on the dryer. 46:08.037 --> 46:11.139 Actually, don't use the dryer, because that's bad for the planet. 46:11.579 --> 46:15.381 But hang the sheets out and let the summer wind dry them for you. 46:16.221 --> 46:17.642 Mmm, smooth. 46:19.043 --> 46:21.744 Ooh, really? 46:22.105 --> 46:22.545 Why not? 46:22.945 --> 46:24.326 Why not shave your legs? 46:24.806 --> 46:29.669 And then feel the smooth skin of your newly shaved legs, even if you're a man. 46:29.689 --> 46:31.930 Mmm, smooth. 46:32.390 --> 46:32.851 Sit back. 46:33.151 --> 46:33.631 Delicious. 46:34.011 --> 46:34.852 Smoothie time. 46:35.852 --> 46:36.653 Oh, dear. 46:38.074 --> 46:39.555 You should go on Smooth FM. 46:39.675 --> 46:40.897 That's where I'll end up, isn't it? 46:41.277 --> 46:41.837 You should. 46:43.018 --> 46:46.661 I say end up probably in about a year when we get fired for saying something dreadful. 46:47.062 --> 46:48.203 We'll end up on Smooth FM. 46:48.323 --> 46:49.904 If we're lucky, if Smooth FM will have us. 46:50.985 --> 46:53.407 So listen, Joe, you know I joined Twitter last week. 46:53.567 --> 46:53.868 Yes. 46:54.488 --> 46:54.688 Right. 46:55.509 --> 46:59.172 I haven't actually checked what the... Have you been on it during the week? 46:59.232 --> 47:02.715 Yeah, I did, I did, but I got massive Twitter anxiety. 47:02.995 --> 47:03.235 Right. 47:03.416 --> 47:05.037 I want to know if anyone else has got this. 47:05.517 --> 47:09.801 I got quite deeply depressed after I joined Twitter for about two days. 47:10.121 --> 47:10.381 Why? 47:10.562 --> 47:13.524 And felt, I don't know, I felt like, why am I doing this? 47:13.644 --> 47:22.772 Why do I need to present another sort of public face under the facade of saying, oh yeah, this is just a kind of blokey thing, I'm just chatting to people. 47:23.492 --> 47:23.793 I'm not. 47:24.013 --> 47:28.537 I'm doing another thing that draws attention to me and goes, look at the interesting things I'm saying. 47:28.557 --> 47:29.177 I'm crazy. 47:29.197 --> 47:30.918 Do you know what I mean? 47:30.959 --> 47:34.121 I don't think that's why everyone does Twitter necessarily. 47:34.161 --> 47:36.843 I wouldn't want to tar everybody with the same brush. 47:36.923 --> 47:47.012 Well, after we talked about it on the programme last week, I was listening to some other radio stations that I do purely to survey the competition, and everyone was talking about Twitter. 47:47.652 --> 47:53.839 Every single DJ was giving you their Twitter as if everyone was going to be interested in the minutiae of their daily life. 47:53.899 --> 47:54.119 Yeah. 47:54.439 --> 48:02.008 I mean, my opening gambit on Twitter, apart from doing a great deal of talking about just Twittering and asking people how to do it. 48:02.068 --> 48:05.471 People were very nice and supportive and gave me helpful tips and stuff like that. 48:06.532 --> 48:11.314 But my opening gambit was a little in-character riff about Gran Torino, right? 48:11.874 --> 48:21.317 I thought, I'm gonna tweet as if I'm Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, and I'm a racist man, and it's Sunday morning, and I'm going to get the papers and do a little humorous riff in character. 48:22.019 --> 48:26.843 You see, the funny voice probably wouldn't come across in writing. 48:27.103 --> 48:27.283 No. 48:27.363 --> 48:32.027 And then I signed off the little in-character riff with something a bit fruity, a bit saucy. 48:32.327 --> 48:32.587 Right. 48:32.607 --> 48:36.530 Is this the kind of thing you can... Can you tell us what you actually wrote or is it not? 48:36.590 --> 48:38.391 No, no, I can't. 48:38.431 --> 48:39.572 It's unbroadcastable. 48:39.992 --> 48:40.993 You can tell me during the news. 48:41.053 --> 48:41.173 Yeah. 48:42.914 --> 48:55.886 And then almost immediately I got a message from a friend of ours who is a regular tweeter, and he just said, delete that last post, or you'll regret it, more or less like that. 48:56.006 --> 48:58.068 So I just got completely rattled. 48:58.088 --> 49:00.710 And this was a friend that we both admire and respect. 49:01.130 --> 49:06.655 So I thought, I'm not going to say who it was, but I thought, OK, I better do their bidding. 49:06.955 --> 49:09.097 So I immediately just deleted it like a spineless loon. 49:10.018 --> 49:13.599 And then I got loads of tweets from people saying, why did you delete your tweets? 49:13.619 --> 49:14.880 You're not supposed to delete tweets. 49:15.200 --> 49:16.160 Don't censor yourself. 49:16.680 --> 49:18.001 And I just thought, I don't know. 49:18.101 --> 49:19.061 I don't know what I can do. 49:19.081 --> 49:19.981 It sounds terrifying. 49:20.342 --> 49:23.563 And then I spent the rest of the day sort of thinking, what else am I going to tweet? 49:23.583 --> 49:25.583 I haven't got anything else to tweet. 49:26.564 --> 49:27.244 You just tweet. 49:27.264 --> 49:29.425 The idea is to do really mundane stuff, isn't it? 49:29.545 --> 49:31.786 Yeah, but you look at other people's tweets. 49:31.826 --> 49:32.866 Just went to the loo. 49:33.106 --> 49:33.426 Right. 49:33.506 --> 49:34.747 Might go to the loo again. 49:34.767 --> 49:35.927 But that's not good enough. 49:36.187 --> 49:36.587 Isn't it? 49:36.707 --> 49:37.768 No, come on. 49:37.808 --> 49:39.189 Everyone else gets away with it. 49:39.209 --> 49:40.910 No, other people tweet funny stuff. 49:40.930 --> 49:41.210 Do they? 49:41.310 --> 49:51.576 You look at Peter Serafinovich and stuff and other people in Graham Linna who you mentioned, they're tweeting like links and thoughts and they're getting involved with petitions and it's all heavy stuff. 49:51.636 --> 49:52.917 Matt Lucas is on there. 49:53.197 --> 49:59.541 He's trying to galvanize all his followers into helping him lose some weight and he's got some diet ideas and all this kind of stuff. 49:59.561 --> 50:00.261 And I'm like, I don't know. 50:00.641 --> 50:02.542 Well, it sounds like you need a sense of purpose. 50:02.662 --> 50:02.882 Right. 50:03.022 --> 50:06.904 You need a campaign or something, you know, to give people a reason to follow you. 50:07.064 --> 50:07.324 Sure. 50:08.365 --> 50:09.386 Maybe you should lose some weight. 50:09.826 --> 50:11.847 Yeah, well, maybe I should, but then that made me anxious. 50:12.147 --> 50:15.609 I was looking at Matt and I was thinking, yeah, he's doing something positive with his tweeting. 50:15.949 --> 50:17.189 I could do with losing a bit of wear. 50:17.229 --> 50:21.512 I could do with getting fit and help getting people to help me do that. 50:22.092 --> 50:23.513 I just thought, I can't deal with it. 50:24.073 --> 50:29.276 It's too much, you know, I should be making these decisions for myself, not getting people on tweet box to 50:30.436 --> 50:31.877 Help me do them, you're right. 50:32.417 --> 50:38.981 Well listen, this is important stuff and we'll continue talking about it after this slightly less important stuff in the news. 50:39.884 --> 50:41.406 There we go, that's Morrissey. 50:41.806 --> 50:43.287 And what was that one called there, Ben? 50:43.327 --> 50:52.657 It was called Something Is Squeezing My Skull, and it's his new single, it's out on April the 27th, taken from the new album Years of Refusal, which was released in February. 50:52.677 --> 50:53.637 That's exciting, isn't it? 50:54.158 --> 51:03.467 Now, listeners, you might sense a slight absence in the studio, because Adam's gone to the loo, and he's mistimed his return, and he's just simply not here. 51:04.781 --> 51:05.501 Is he locked out? 51:06.262 --> 51:07.583 Ben's gonna try and let him in. 51:07.883 --> 51:09.084 Charlotte's gonna go and let him in. 51:09.624 --> 51:10.464 It's alarming stuff. 51:10.504 --> 51:14.427 It's one of the problems of working with a slightly simple-minded man. 51:15.207 --> 51:16.928 Let's have another record while we try and release him. 51:16.948 --> 51:22.431 This is a free play, and this is dedicated to anybody who's on their way or planning to... Are you all right? 51:22.491 --> 51:22.952 I'm sorry, man. 51:22.972 --> 51:24.332 I got trapped outside the thing. 51:24.352 --> 51:25.653 You handled that very badly. 51:25.793 --> 51:26.154 I know. 51:26.174 --> 51:26.554 I'm really trying. 51:26.574 --> 51:28.555 I've just said some secret things about you to the listeners. 51:28.775 --> 51:40.929 you say I'm not gonna tell you it's just gonna make you unsettled I've told them one or two facts about you that you probably didn't want them to know that has unsettled me I was already unsettled and now I'm really I was just a 51:43.712 --> 51:44.673 introducing my free play. 51:44.833 --> 51:47.314 I've got to say I got on fine there without you. 51:48.034 --> 51:48.955 It was fine. 51:49.135 --> 51:49.655 Absolutely fine. 51:49.755 --> 51:51.736 I was ready to do the next hour and a half. 51:51.856 --> 51:52.637 Smooth. 51:53.077 --> 51:53.898 It really was. 51:53.998 --> 51:54.338 Was it? 51:54.798 --> 51:55.038 Yeah. 51:55.098 --> 52:00.441 Well I heard just before I nipped off to the lavi I heard Ben queuing up your free play and I heard you going oh this is good music what's this? 52:02.382 --> 52:04.283 Ben would say, this is your free place. 52:04.343 --> 52:05.463 We actually hear what it is. 52:06.564 --> 52:07.924 Is this your protest song? 52:07.944 --> 52:09.025 Yeah, this is the protest song. 52:09.045 --> 52:13.286 I was saying, I was thinking, I should play a protest song on Saturday because it's the big day of protest. 52:13.586 --> 52:14.667 It's going to be very violent. 52:15.307 --> 52:16.427 It's probably very violent already. 52:16.447 --> 52:17.528 Let's hope not. 52:17.548 --> 52:26.031 So I was thinking through all the great protest songs, Marvin Gaye, What's Going On, a bit of Dylan, what are the other great protest songs? 52:26.451 --> 52:28.292 Public Enemy with Fight the Power. 52:28.392 --> 52:28.592 Yeah. 52:29.272 --> 52:33.413 There's some amazing stuff, but I thought I'd choose a John Farnham track. 52:33.673 --> 52:33.933 Right. 52:34.473 --> 52:35.074 You're The Voice. 52:35.094 --> 52:35.774 Do you know this one? 52:35.914 --> 52:36.434 No, I don't. 52:36.654 --> 52:41.135 It's extremely uplifting and invigorating, and they use it in the film Hot Rod. 52:41.155 --> 52:41.956 Have you seen that film? 52:42.076 --> 52:42.836 No, what's Hot Rod? 52:42.856 --> 52:43.776 Hot Rod is brilliant. 52:43.896 --> 52:44.656 It's really funny. 52:45.036 --> 52:48.357 It's Andy Sandberg, the lazy Sunday guy. 52:48.397 --> 52:49.538 Oh, the Lonely Island guy. 52:49.578 --> 52:50.798 Yeah, it's really good. 52:51.198 --> 52:53.619 Hot Rod, very unappreciated little comedy film. 52:54.239 --> 52:59.203 And there's a scene in that film where something's going on and suddenly this track kicks in. 52:59.703 --> 53:12.132 And even though it doesn't have much to do with the scene, they all start getting really proud and belligerent and start marching down the street, picking up dustbins and throwing them through shop windows just because of this record. 53:13.293 --> 53:15.955 And of course that's terrible and protesters shouldn't do that. 53:15.995 --> 53:18.497 It's important that all protest is peaceful. 53:18.617 --> 53:19.117 Absolutely. 53:19.157 --> 53:19.318 Right. 53:20.298 --> 53:24.662 but it's also very important to have the right to protest and how beautifully articulated it is. 53:24.682 --> 53:27.505 It is here by John Farnham. 53:27.785 --> 53:28.045 Here we go. 53:28.666 --> 53:29.146 There we go. 53:29.186 --> 53:31.848 What about that for a rousing bit of music? 53:31.908 --> 53:32.549 Yeah, that song. 53:32.589 --> 53:33.670 I know that song, yeah. 53:34.010 --> 53:34.311 Yeah. 53:34.391 --> 53:35.311 That is very rousing. 53:35.432 --> 53:35.652 It is. 53:35.692 --> 53:40.176 If you played that during the protest this afternoon, there would be trouble because everyone would get overexcited. 53:40.716 --> 53:43.318 They'd start getting overly physical. 53:43.358 --> 53:43.699 Whipped up. 53:44.339 --> 53:50.727 Whereas let's fingers crossed it's going to be a beautiful and peaceful demonstration of the right to protest. 53:50.887 --> 53:51.528 Absolutely. 53:51.708 --> 53:51.969 Yeah. 53:52.149 --> 53:56.014 And the cops, you know, in the end, the cops and the protesters will be holding hands. 53:56.054 --> 53:58.557 They'll be swapping numbers and tweeting with each other. 53:58.937 --> 53:59.518 Let's hope so. 53:59.598 --> 54:00.099 Let's hope so. 54:00.139 --> 54:01.000 That's the way it should go. 54:01.385 --> 54:06.590 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music, and we have a trail coming up for you right now. 54:06.630 --> 54:07.972 This is a hub trail. 54:08.072 --> 54:09.333 Who will be playing in the hub? 54:09.373 --> 54:09.833 Guess, Joe. 54:09.894 --> 54:10.134 Guess. 54:10.154 --> 54:10.935 Just guess who you've got. 54:10.955 --> 54:11.615 Oh, John Farnham. 54:11.896 --> 54:17.441 John Farnham will be doing an unplugged version of The Voice in the Hub. 54:17.581 --> 54:18.502 If only that were true. 54:18.582 --> 54:20.304 Let's find out what the reality is. 54:20.899 --> 54:21.419 Good effort. 54:21.439 --> 54:21.839 Well done. 54:21.879 --> 54:23.940 That's Q-tip with breathe and stop. 54:23.980 --> 54:24.680 This is Adam and Jay. 54:24.720 --> 54:24.840 Yeah. 54:24.900 --> 54:26.281 He was playing in London the other week. 54:26.501 --> 54:26.681 Oh, yeah. 54:26.801 --> 54:29.042 Was it two Sundays ago or one Sunday ago? 54:29.062 --> 54:30.403 I never went. 54:30.503 --> 54:31.923 I wanted to go, but I never went. 54:32.023 --> 54:32.483 The Tipler. 54:32.623 --> 54:33.164 The Tipler. 54:33.304 --> 54:34.284 I bet that was a good gig. 54:34.304 --> 54:36.545 There's another really exciting gig coming up for me. 54:37.505 --> 54:39.506 For the Corn Plaster, ABC. 54:39.986 --> 54:41.026 The band ABC. 54:41.046 --> 54:41.907 Yeah, I like them. 54:41.947 --> 54:44.288 They're playing Lexicon of Love in full. 54:45.428 --> 54:48.211 Uh, at the Royal Albert Hall, introduced by Trevor Horn. 54:48.372 --> 54:48.872 Wow. 54:49.132 --> 54:50.394 Orchestrated by Anne Dudley. 54:50.914 --> 54:51.896 Hey, amazing. 54:52.116 --> 54:53.758 Uh, and everyone's going to be there. 54:53.878 --> 54:55.399 I mean, that's going to be incredible, isn't it? 54:55.419 --> 54:57.462 I've managed to wangle myself seats for that. 54:57.502 --> 54:59.664 I've got the date of it somewhere. 54:59.684 --> 55:00.185 Where is it? 55:00.986 --> 55:01.706 I wrote it down. 55:01.967 --> 55:02.868 That is going to be amazing. 55:02.888 --> 55:03.889 There's not going to be amazing. 55:04.049 --> 55:04.970 I'm not jealous of that. 55:04.990 --> 55:06.472 A bit of Stevenage there, surely. 55:07.232 --> 55:08.473 Oh, that would be good. 55:08.613 --> 55:12.375 But at the same time, I'm going to be so, um, I'm obsessed with that album. 55:12.395 --> 55:12.995 The Lexicon of Love. 55:13.015 --> 55:13.536 Yeah, I am. 55:13.596 --> 55:14.756 I know every single word. 55:14.856 --> 55:15.897 That's your Sargent Pepper, isn't it? 55:15.917 --> 55:16.677 That's my pepper. 55:16.897 --> 55:17.097 Yeah. 55:17.177 --> 55:19.499 So I'm going to be in another place at that gig. 55:19.559 --> 55:19.999 Imagine. 55:20.479 --> 55:21.760 That's going to be fantastic. 55:21.800 --> 55:22.960 I had all the dates and stuff. 55:23.000 --> 55:25.422 It's in, it's in early April, but you can find them later on. 55:25.682 --> 55:26.582 I'll find them later on. 55:26.642 --> 55:29.744 But for ABC fans, that's going to be an amazing day. 55:29.864 --> 55:31.105 No, it's absolutely Brillo Pants. 55:31.325 --> 55:40.789 I missed magazine when they reformed, and they're playing like Benny Kassim in Spain and stuff like that, doing some festivals, but I really want to see them, because apparently they were amazing. 55:41.209 --> 55:42.429 You love magazine, don't you? 55:42.449 --> 55:43.069 I love magazine. 55:43.129 --> 55:44.550 You just out-cooled me there. 55:44.850 --> 55:46.271 Howard Devoto magazine. 55:46.391 --> 55:51.573 I go all silly on my ABC thing, and then you pull out magazine out of the box. 55:51.593 --> 55:52.113 That's all. 55:52.133 --> 55:54.054 I'm not claiming that one is cooler than the other. 55:54.074 --> 55:55.194 It's all good stuff, isn't it? 55:55.395 --> 55:55.755 It is all. 55:55.795 --> 55:56.295 That's true. 55:56.315 --> 55:57.215 Horses for courses. 55:57.675 --> 55:58.516 Have you thought about that? 55:59.076 --> 56:13.786 I just have a sort of stupid horse in a Gold Blimey suit with a big over-the-top orchestra and you've got like a cool horse smoking a fag in a leather jacket with a little synthesizer going... The light falls out. 56:13.866 --> 56:15.427 You and your haughty horses. 56:15.447 --> 56:18.549 All right, let's catch up with Texanation right now. 56:18.569 --> 56:23.772 Texanation, Tex, Tex, Tex, Texanation. 56:23.832 --> 56:24.773 What if I don't want to? 56:25.033 --> 56:25.713 Texanation. 56:25.733 --> 56:26.554 It doesn't matter, text. 56:29.071 --> 56:33.316 as they contracted textination jingle that causes some people to get very upset. 56:33.657 --> 56:33.977 Does it? 56:34.157 --> 56:41.386 Sometimes people say, oh you know, I'm trying to get into a bit of grooving with the textination jingle, suddenly it gets contracted and my grooving gets curtailed. 56:41.947 --> 56:46.212 But that's what happens, you know, we're trying to maintain, we're trying to keep things moving here. 56:46.252 --> 56:47.053 Trying to maintain. 56:47.154 --> 56:47.334 Yeah. 56:47.734 --> 56:48.014 Yeah. 56:50.016 --> 56:51.338 Finally, welcome to the modern world. 56:51.358 --> 56:52.278 I'm from the street. 56:52.319 --> 56:54.380 I don't know if you knew. 56:54.941 --> 56:56.022 Don't try and play me. 56:56.082 --> 56:58.504 That's what Alan Sugar started saying in The Apprentice. 56:58.745 --> 56:59.605 Don't play me. 57:00.086 --> 57:02.808 I can play you, but don't you try and play me. 57:02.828 --> 57:05.131 He was suddenly talking like Jay-Z. 57:05.151 --> 57:06.131 Right. 57:06.572 --> 57:07.673 What's going on with that program? 57:07.693 --> 57:09.174 The player will not be played. 57:10.015 --> 57:12.317 Yeah, that's a good impression, almost as bad as mine. 57:12.417 --> 57:12.857 Thank you very much. 57:12.877 --> 57:13.458 With Alan Sugar. 57:13.858 --> 57:16.921 Text the Nation this week is all about, what is it about? 57:17.001 --> 57:18.242 Things you do to try and be cool. 57:18.302 --> 57:18.522 Yeah. 57:19.703 --> 57:22.145 Efforts you make to change your social status. 57:22.525 --> 57:28.790 Yeah, I mean, particularly from your childhood, I suppose, which is the time when most people are worried about that kind of thing most. 57:29.437 --> 57:30.598 Ben from Stoke Newington. 57:30.678 --> 57:41.906 When I was 13, I think due to my combined love of Michael Jackson and hair metal like Motley Crue, I took to wearing, to school, a single leather studded fingerless glove on my left hand. 57:42.406 --> 57:44.267 I bought it on a school trip to Germany. 57:44.828 --> 57:46.429 It would come from Germany, wouldn't it? 57:48.190 --> 57:50.892 Where such things are considered unironically cool. 57:51.442 --> 57:56.726 Do you think that would impress you if I turned up next week in a single, studded glove? 57:56.966 --> 57:57.567 By no means. 57:58.107 --> 58:01.369 The thing is, it's the way you would turn up and not mention it, right? 58:01.410 --> 58:01.830 Yeah. 58:01.910 --> 58:03.891 You wouldn't go, hey, everyone, I've got the glove! 58:04.252 --> 58:05.172 I'm cool! 58:05.933 --> 58:08.175 You would just slip into the room with the glove. 58:08.255 --> 58:08.515 Yeah. 58:08.715 --> 58:10.576 Let everybody else go, look at this glove! 58:11.017 --> 58:13.178 Look at this studded, it's on its left hand! 58:14.360 --> 58:15.923 That's what would happen, wouldn't it? 58:15.963 --> 58:16.684 Yeah, yeah. 58:17.005 --> 58:18.027 Well, I'm trying to think about that. 58:18.087 --> 58:23.818 And then someone would come up to you and go, eh, why are you wearing that glove, you idiot hole? 58:26.567 --> 58:30.330 That's what always happens is you go into school and you're wearing your new thing. 58:30.370 --> 58:36.133 Maybe you've drawn patterns on your hand or I don't know, you've got like coke ring pulls up your nose or something. 58:36.734 --> 58:43.819 And then some guy like one of the coolies comes past and goes... Nice job, Holotron. 58:44.939 --> 58:45.780 Holotron. 58:46.300 --> 58:47.621 That's a little riff on Idiot Hole. 58:48.362 --> 58:49.142 This is from Liam. 58:49.282 --> 58:56.307 I used to carry a harmonica around in the top pocket of my denim jacket, though I could never play it. 58:57.288 --> 59:01.012 What's going on there? 59:01.032 --> 59:03.214 It's classic man. 59:03.514 --> 59:04.415 That's very funny. 59:04.735 --> 59:10.902 A harmonica is the sort of instrument a prisoner plays or a lonely man with profound problems. 59:11.643 --> 59:13.364 Yeah, a hobo man. 59:13.524 --> 59:14.926 Can anyone play the harmonica? 59:16.249 --> 59:19.972 I mean, is it an instrument that's played a machine? 59:20.352 --> 59:21.693 Is it an instrument that's played? 59:21.713 --> 59:22.553 What kind of question is that? 59:22.593 --> 59:23.654 Of course it's played. 59:23.734 --> 59:23.914 Is it? 59:23.954 --> 59:25.475 I mean, obviously, Stevie Wonder does it. 59:25.515 --> 59:33.000 The point I'm trying to make is even when Stevie Wonder does it, like he's the greatest, it still sounds vaguely as if he's just sort of randomly wheezing into it. 59:33.280 --> 59:33.841 Right, right. 59:33.861 --> 59:34.521 Do you know what I mean? 59:34.741 --> 59:35.442 No, there is an art. 59:35.462 --> 59:37.083 There's good and bad harmonica players. 59:37.143 --> 59:38.764 I'm just trying to support Liam there. 59:38.924 --> 59:39.705 Yeah, fair enough. 59:39.845 --> 59:42.567 And his theory of just carrying it is enough. 59:42.787 --> 59:43.347 Oh, I see. 59:43.587 --> 59:44.488 Yes, because it's such a 90. 59:44.588 --> 59:45.689 Can you play the harmonica? 59:46.150 --> 59:46.394 I can go. 59:50.205 --> 59:50.545 Like that. 59:50.605 --> 59:51.685 My point, precisely. 59:51.705 --> 59:52.725 Yeah, no, I can't really. 59:53.026 --> 59:53.806 I'd love to be able to. 59:53.826 --> 59:55.046 Yeah, I've got a couple. 59:55.286 --> 59:57.206 I thought when I played it that I was really good at it. 59:57.406 --> 59:59.067 Yeah, because you can cup it the way they do. 59:59.087 --> 01:00:01.587 Yeah, it's quite easy to be quite good at it. 01:00:01.647 --> 01:00:02.227 All that stuff. 01:00:02.267 --> 01:00:04.428 We should get some harmonica action on a song wars. 01:00:04.728 --> 01:00:06.948 Can we get a harmonica solo? 01:00:07.228 --> 01:00:07.428 Oh, man. 01:00:07.468 --> 01:00:08.748 Wouldn't that be excruciating? 01:00:08.848 --> 01:00:09.649 On the wedding song. 01:00:10.169 --> 01:00:11.669 On the wedding song? 01:00:12.009 --> 01:00:12.129 Oh. 01:00:12.409 --> 01:00:12.949 How about it? 01:00:12.989 --> 01:00:13.769 That's dangerous. 01:00:13.789 --> 01:00:14.630 I'm going to write that down. 01:00:14.650 --> 01:00:15.690 That's dangerous ground you're on there. 01:00:15.790 --> 01:00:17.090 OK, with Stephen Seagal. 01:00:17.330 --> 01:00:21.100 Yeah an amazing Stevie Wonder style harmonica solo. 01:00:28.121 --> 01:00:40.773 It's gonna be a difficult wedding Here's another one from will in Oxford despite being quite good at it I gave up chess when going to secondary school for fear of ridicule and to be cooler Now that's an interesting approach. 01:00:41.073 --> 01:00:43.175 Oh things that you've given up just gave up chess. 01:00:43.356 --> 01:00:46.899 I don't play chess anymore No, no chess for me. 01:00:46.919 --> 01:00:48.640 Well, I'm not some kind of idiot hole. 01:00:49.221 --> 01:00:49.822 I don't play chess 01:00:50.502 --> 01:00:51.643 Is that a good tactic? 01:00:52.043 --> 01:01:01.331 That's like deciding just not to do work at school because you think oh people who work are fools Of course, I'm just gonna tune out of the work. 01:01:01.411 --> 01:01:13.080 I'm gonna be a rebel I'm gonna be the guy that gets D's Goes to prison for a bit, but I'll be cool It's a common thing where you get you get brainiacs doing that all the time because they don't want to be like what they hit adolescence 01:01:13.240 --> 01:01:15.144 and decide working is uncool. 01:01:15.325 --> 01:01:15.806 Exactly. 01:01:16.026 --> 01:01:18.091 And they just go, I don't want to be the goody-goody. 01:01:18.111 --> 01:01:19.955 I don't want to be the guy who knows all the answers. 01:01:20.336 --> 01:01:21.197 That's not cool. 01:01:21.538 --> 01:01:22.580 I'm just going to flunk. 01:01:23.464 --> 01:01:24.884 Here's something that definitely is cool. 01:01:26.085 --> 01:01:29.106 Jason in Beeston with two cats. 01:01:29.246 --> 01:01:37.728 He says, Hi, guys, when I was 10, I made stick-on circuit boards that I stuck to my arm and leg, just like the six million dollar man. 01:01:37.748 --> 01:01:38.608 Like a robot. 01:01:38.628 --> 01:01:42.749 As far as I know, the six million dollar man circuit boards were not actually stuck to his arm. 01:01:42.829 --> 01:01:44.490 Yeah, but when he got himself cut, 01:01:44.870 --> 01:01:45.050 Yeah. 01:01:45.070 --> 01:01:45.991 They would poke through. 01:01:46.111 --> 01:01:51.215 You could see them, and if you bought the little six million dollar man figurine... He had see-through bits. 01:01:51.515 --> 01:01:58.901 He had see-through bits, and also you could roll back his arm, like he had a little bit of latex on his arm that you could roll back and look at his circuits. 01:01:59.341 --> 01:02:00.802 He was ten when he did that? 01:02:00.983 --> 01:02:02.083 That's quite old, isn't it? 01:02:02.184 --> 01:02:02.384 Ten. 01:02:03.244 --> 01:02:17.621 10 that's too old to know what the response was from other 10 year old imagine a short shot punch to the center of the face and I totally know where he's coming from though because that was the ultimate thing to think that you were 01:02:17.961 --> 01:02:37.366 to convince people that you were some kind of cyborg one of the most simple ways to try and be cool in that way was to instead of running with clenched fists we've talked about this before but you you you realize that instead of running with clenched fists if you ran with your uh hands held out the palms out like blades super blades it might make you more aerodynamic yeah 01:02:38.306 --> 01:02:39.467 He's going so fast. 01:02:39.507 --> 01:02:40.467 Yeah, we did talk about this before. 01:02:40.487 --> 01:02:41.148 It's a dream line. 01:02:41.248 --> 01:02:55.956 I know, and I admitted before as well that I once pretty much successfully convinced a friend of mine when I was about seven or eight that parts of my body were removable after an accident that I'd suffered and I was now not exactly bionic, 01:02:56.832 --> 01:03:06.476 But I certainly had removable robot parts that I could show them and they were, I'm not going to tell you which parts they were, but it was pretty embarrassing. 01:03:06.637 --> 01:03:07.497 Keep them coming in, please. 01:03:07.517 --> 01:03:14.600 Your attempts, your strategies for being cooler in society, either now or when you were younger, the text number is 64046. 01:03:15.661 --> 01:03:19.222 The email is adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk. 01:03:19.462 --> 01:03:20.443 I went there. 01:03:20.803 --> 01:03:21.243 It was good. 01:03:22.344 --> 01:03:27.046 Speaking of Stevie Wonder and harmonicas, is there any harmonica in Past Time Paradise? 01:03:27.066 --> 01:03:27.647 I'm not sure there is. 01:03:27.667 --> 01:03:28.267 Just give it a listen. 01:03:28.647 --> 01:03:31.649 Because it's mainly late period wonder where he gets his harmonica out. 01:03:32.149 --> 01:03:34.130 And this is classic 70s wonder. 01:03:34.290 --> 01:03:36.331 Here's Stevie with Past Time Paradise. 01:03:37.772 --> 01:03:38.592 Oh, nice gong. 01:03:39.253 --> 01:03:39.753 Steven! 01:03:40.816 --> 01:03:42.537 That's Stevie Wonder with Pastime Paradise. 01:03:42.577 --> 01:03:44.519 This is Adam and Joe on BBC 6 Music. 01:03:45.059 --> 01:03:50.803 Do you listeners and Adam Buxton, do you ever get people socially saying that you look like somebody famous? 01:03:51.064 --> 01:03:51.704 Yeah, sure. 01:03:51.864 --> 01:03:57.628 You might be sitting watching telly or something and someone will go, oh, there's that guy that looks just like you. 01:03:57.909 --> 01:03:58.169 Yeah. 01:03:58.509 --> 01:04:00.390 That happens to me with an actor on the bill. 01:04:01.351 --> 01:04:07.514 There's a policeman on the bill with quite a pointy nose that apparently looks very like me. 01:04:07.954 --> 01:04:08.694 I can't see it. 01:04:09.194 --> 01:04:18.538 And I think this is one of the recurring things about this kind of conversation, that the person who you accuse of looking like this famous person can't see it themselves. 01:04:18.598 --> 01:04:22.640 Well, other people identify in you something that they're... Yeah. 01:04:22.800 --> 01:04:26.562 And then if they say that to you, you usually go, what? 01:04:27.142 --> 01:04:41.635 I look like that person from the bill, and then I become obsessed with looking at that person from the bill and considering his face and mine, and you know, you get into a weird sort of metaphysical, internal musing about what you really look like. 01:04:42.095 --> 01:04:45.298 Yes, and what you mean to people as well, because it's more than just the look of that. 01:04:45.358 --> 01:04:48.741 Something else from the guy in the bill is saying Joe Cornish to people. 01:04:49.902 --> 01:04:51.144 And but you've had a nice one today. 01:04:51.284 --> 01:04:57.230 I have had a nice one somebody emailed in and said that I look like now It's a football man Fernando Torres. 01:04:57.250 --> 01:05:03.517 Yeah, and I was excited Because I went on the internet and he's a good-looking man. 01:05:03.557 --> 01:05:04.198 He is good. 01:05:04.238 --> 01:05:11.085 I mean, he's got a proper ripply nipples and everything Yeah, like they have like you like proper men do yeah who work out and stuff. 01:05:11.105 --> 01:05:11.546 That's right. 01:05:11.566 --> 01:05:11.586 I 01:05:11.966 --> 01:05:13.188 Ripley nipples honestly. 01:05:14.709 --> 01:05:15.170 Ripnips. 01:05:15.510 --> 01:05:16.351 Ripnips. 01:05:17.032 --> 01:05:19.654 And so that's very flattering. 01:05:19.695 --> 01:05:21.276 He's got blonde hair. 01:05:21.376 --> 01:05:22.778 I might dye my hair blonde. 01:05:24.259 --> 01:05:25.321 So that's good news isn't it? 01:05:25.501 --> 01:05:27.062 I'm gonna call you Ripnips from now on. 01:05:27.102 --> 01:05:27.563 Ripnips. 01:05:28.924 --> 01:05:31.506 Who do people say that you look like well? 01:05:32.046 --> 01:05:41.032 You know Tom Cruise they don't say no they don't they say you look like Brian blessed I Say you look like Brian, but it's very much. 01:05:41.092 --> 01:05:44.994 I mean that's just so we're looking like Brian blessed Well, he's got a big beard. 01:05:45.034 --> 01:05:47.215 He's a big fat old man with a beard. 01:05:47.235 --> 01:05:51.598 He's a talented actor But come on who do people say you look like? 01:05:52.078 --> 01:05:55.199 I don't get it very often because I'm sort of short and weird. 01:05:55.299 --> 01:05:56.059 Oh, that's true. 01:05:56.139 --> 01:05:57.199 One of the gladiators. 01:05:57.319 --> 01:05:57.840 Gladiators. 01:05:57.860 --> 01:05:58.460 Yeah, I think... Wolf. 01:05:58.700 --> 01:05:59.260 Is it Wolf? 01:05:59.440 --> 01:06:02.361 No, Wolf was the sort of mean one. 01:06:02.801 --> 01:06:03.481 Homunculus. 01:06:03.521 --> 01:06:06.642 That's what I look like. 01:06:07.142 --> 01:06:12.063 But no, you know, I think people struggle to find someone flattering to compare me to, so... It is. 01:06:12.123 --> 01:06:16.124 There is a gladiator that people often email in and mention that looks a bit like you. 01:06:16.184 --> 01:06:16.604 Yeah, yeah. 01:06:16.664 --> 01:06:17.324 Hunkertroid. 01:06:17.465 --> 01:06:18.365 Hunkertroid. 01:06:19.565 --> 01:06:20.445 I think that's his name. 01:06:20.465 --> 01:06:21.025 Buckulon. 01:06:21.545 --> 01:06:22.926 The thing is, Buckulon. 01:06:22.946 --> 01:06:25.286 They don't have space names, do they? 01:06:25.326 --> 01:06:26.507 They should have space names. 01:06:26.847 --> 01:06:27.627 It would be more exciting. 01:06:27.667 --> 01:06:29.067 They could do a space version of it. 01:06:29.447 --> 01:06:30.548 Hosted by the hamster. 01:06:30.928 --> 01:06:31.308 Yes. 01:06:32.348 --> 01:06:33.048 With a jet pack. 01:06:33.068 --> 01:06:34.248 That's obligatory these days. 01:06:34.469 --> 01:06:37.469 Hey, we got asked to go on Celebrity Wipe. 01:06:37.589 --> 01:06:40.130 What's that show called that the Hammond hosts on a Saturday evening? 01:06:40.630 --> 01:06:40.730 Oh. 01:06:40.790 --> 01:06:42.690 The British version of Te Gea's Castle. 01:06:42.770 --> 01:06:43.271 Wipe out. 01:06:43.311 --> 01:06:44.051 Gunt tank thing. 01:06:44.191 --> 01:06:44.771 Tumble down. 01:06:44.831 --> 01:06:45.411 Did we really? 01:06:45.631 --> 01:06:46.211 Phone balls. 01:06:46.331 --> 01:06:47.472 Did you get that through your agent? 01:06:47.552 --> 01:06:48.092 Wipe out. 01:06:48.152 --> 01:06:49.032 Is it called wipe out? 01:06:50.348 --> 01:06:50.668 Yeah. 01:06:50.888 --> 01:06:53.270 Oh, did only I get asked to go? 01:06:53.450 --> 01:06:54.710 I'm like Fernando Torres. 01:06:54.750 --> 01:06:57.091 I'm the more... I've got more physical prowess. 01:06:57.131 --> 01:06:58.432 Yes, ask the handsome one. 01:06:58.452 --> 01:06:59.973 Don't ask him unconscious. 01:07:00.033 --> 01:07:02.194 Just the one that looks exactly like Torres. 01:07:02.594 --> 01:07:04.375 The world's sexiest footballer. 01:07:04.435 --> 01:07:05.156 Are you going to go on? 01:07:05.176 --> 01:07:05.336 No. 01:07:05.696 --> 01:07:05.976 No. 01:07:06.376 --> 01:07:07.016 Of course not. 01:07:07.076 --> 01:07:07.617 Why would you? 01:07:07.657 --> 01:07:08.737 I did think about it though. 01:07:08.817 --> 01:07:09.097 Did you? 01:07:09.398 --> 01:07:11.659 Yeah, because I bet you I could hop across those balls. 01:07:12.539 --> 01:07:13.340 Better than they do. 01:07:13.720 --> 01:07:14.960 They always get the technique wrong. 01:07:15.261 --> 01:07:15.501 Right. 01:07:15.781 --> 01:07:17.442 They don't anticipate how bouncy they are. 01:07:17.802 --> 01:07:18.642 Go on, Ripnips. 01:07:18.682 --> 01:07:19.383 You should go on. 01:07:19.423 --> 01:07:23.005 I am not wearing one of those stupid suits and going on that program. 01:07:23.085 --> 01:07:24.966 It would be so humiliating. 01:07:25.026 --> 01:07:26.587 Oh, he doesn't look like Fernando Torres. 01:07:28.092 --> 01:07:33.417 He looks more like, I tell you what I do look like, is that animal in Return of the Jedi. 01:07:34.578 --> 01:07:35.519 Salacious Crump. 01:07:37.060 --> 01:07:40.123 Someone who's very skinny but is developing a bit of a pot belly. 01:07:40.603 --> 01:07:41.484 Do you know what I mean? 01:07:44.607 --> 01:07:46.268 You're better looking than Salacious Crump. 01:07:46.288 --> 01:07:46.769 Oh thanks. 01:07:46.969 --> 01:07:47.409 Like Jabba. 01:07:49.591 --> 01:07:54.456 No, you're like a dancing lady with the big fat tentacles on her head. 01:07:54.756 --> 01:07:55.097 Thank you. 01:07:55.157 --> 01:07:55.758 She's sexy. 01:07:55.878 --> 01:07:56.779 Yeah. 01:07:57.079 --> 01:08:00.683 It would be nice if when people emailed us, they told us what famous person they look like. 01:08:01.143 --> 01:08:01.363 Right. 01:08:01.463 --> 01:08:05.568 Then it would be as if the program was listened to purely by famous people. 01:08:05.648 --> 01:08:07.169 Yeah, paint a little picture in our eyes. 01:08:07.189 --> 01:08:08.210 That would be more exciting. 01:08:08.451 --> 01:08:09.652 Because famous people are brilliant. 01:08:09.672 --> 01:08:10.473 They're brilliant, aren't they? 01:08:10.513 --> 01:08:11.674 They're the best of all the people. 01:08:11.937 --> 01:08:12.638 Well, they're interesting. 01:08:12.658 --> 01:08:13.278 They're very interesting. 01:08:13.298 --> 01:08:14.880 They've got amazing, interesting lives. 01:08:15.160 --> 01:08:15.600 They do. 01:08:15.720 --> 01:08:17.602 And they're sexy, and they smell good. 01:08:17.662 --> 01:08:18.042 That's right. 01:08:18.062 --> 01:08:18.883 They're very clean. 01:08:18.903 --> 01:08:19.744 They're very successful. 01:08:19.784 --> 01:08:20.404 That's what I like about them. 01:08:20.424 --> 01:08:20.925 Yeah, they're successful. 01:08:20.945 --> 01:08:21.866 They've got lots of money. 01:08:22.106 --> 01:08:22.946 Yeah, they've succeeded. 01:08:22.986 --> 01:08:24.127 And they could buy you things. 01:08:24.448 --> 01:08:25.228 They've sorted all out. 01:08:25.248 --> 01:08:27.110 Get into all the clubs and premiers. 01:08:27.130 --> 01:08:28.431 Also, they're going to be remembered. 01:08:28.751 --> 01:08:29.232 Exactly. 01:08:29.332 --> 01:08:30.313 Not like the rest of us. 01:08:30.413 --> 01:08:30.613 No. 01:08:30.633 --> 01:08:31.894 I mean, what's the point? 01:08:31.914 --> 01:08:32.675 What's the point for us? 01:08:32.695 --> 01:08:33.515 For people who aren't famous. 01:08:33.536 --> 01:08:36.598 For people like us, what the heck is the point? 01:08:37.879 --> 01:08:43.581 Here's the point, ladies and gentlemen, it's White Lies with Farewell to the Fairground. 01:08:56.980 --> 01:08:58.882 You look very pleased that you thought of that. 01:09:00.143 --> 01:09:02.385 I just turned to Adam and he looked really pleased. 01:09:04.087 --> 01:09:05.348 A big smile on his face. 01:09:05.468 --> 01:09:10.853 His eyes had lit up on my hairy round face. 01:09:10.933 --> 01:09:11.333 Is that it? 01:09:11.594 --> 01:09:12.935 I'm at the beginning of my tether. 01:09:12.955 --> 01:09:13.976 I'm going to say it one more time. 01:09:14.656 --> 01:09:16.338 Absolutely the beginning of my tether. 01:09:17.359 --> 01:09:18.780 Listen man, I had an amazing week. 01:09:19.281 --> 01:09:19.901 Guess what I got? 01:09:20.181 --> 01:09:20.382 What? 01:09:21.642 --> 01:09:24.063 I got completely free, an eye test. 01:09:24.863 --> 01:09:25.343 Oh, right. 01:09:25.723 --> 01:09:27.463 And 500 nectar points. 01:09:27.924 --> 01:09:28.264 No. 01:09:28.384 --> 01:09:28.584 Yeah. 01:09:29.384 --> 01:09:29.924 Totally free. 01:09:32.144 --> 01:09:32.404 How? 01:09:32.745 --> 01:09:34.245 Were they giving them away in the supermarket? 01:09:34.265 --> 01:09:34.945 They sent them to me. 01:09:34.965 --> 01:09:36.305 The email, they got my email address. 01:09:36.325 --> 01:09:36.645 I don't know. 01:09:36.685 --> 01:09:37.526 Maybe I gave it to them. 01:09:37.886 --> 01:09:38.646 Did you have the eye test? 01:09:38.666 --> 01:09:39.466 Party or something. 01:09:39.486 --> 01:09:40.906 I haven't had it yet. 01:09:40.966 --> 01:09:41.626 I'm looking forward to it. 01:09:41.686 --> 01:09:42.387 I'm going to go and have it. 01:09:42.927 --> 01:09:43.327 You know what? 01:09:43.387 --> 01:09:44.267 I need an eye test. 01:09:44.647 --> 01:09:44.847 Really? 01:09:44.867 --> 01:09:46.107 Because I'm getting a little bit doddery. 01:09:46.147 --> 01:09:46.607 Is this it? 01:09:47.888 --> 01:09:48.328 For the link. 01:09:49.108 --> 01:09:50.969 the eye test that you haven't had yet. 01:09:50.989 --> 01:09:54.691 What are we, are we like less than 15 seconds into the eye test? 01:09:54.711 --> 01:09:56.252 I'm not totally doing it. 01:09:56.412 --> 01:09:59.054 When it's just that you haven't had the eye test. 01:10:00.555 --> 01:10:01.655 But you haven't had the eye test. 01:10:01.675 --> 01:10:02.956 From Admiral Cornballs. 01:10:03.336 --> 01:10:07.018 Not yet, but there's all kind of other things that we could have chatted about. 01:10:07.478 --> 01:10:08.439 Eye test related. 01:10:08.559 --> 01:10:08.859 Right. 01:10:08.899 --> 01:10:10.520 Could have chatted about my eyesight. 01:10:10.540 --> 01:10:12.641 Eye tests in general, not that good. 01:10:13.162 --> 01:10:15.583 Now that you ask, it's getting a bit worse. 01:10:15.863 --> 01:10:16.083 Yeah. 01:10:16.424 --> 01:10:16.644 Yeah. 01:10:21.815 --> 01:10:22.535 Nectar points. 01:10:22.675 --> 01:10:24.217 What are we supposed to do with nectar points? 01:10:24.317 --> 01:10:26.839 All kinds of things you could get out of nectar points. 01:10:27.099 --> 01:10:27.680 Do you collect them? 01:10:28.601 --> 01:10:29.401 Yeah, I do actually. 01:10:29.421 --> 01:10:30.322 Yeah, well, there you go. 01:10:30.342 --> 01:10:31.503 They're very tiny though. 01:10:31.844 --> 01:10:32.104 Have you? 01:10:32.124 --> 01:10:34.025 They're not very generous with those nectar points. 01:10:34.086 --> 01:10:35.727 It takes years to build up enough. 01:10:35.887 --> 01:10:39.951 Well, I've been collecting them for about six or seven years. 01:10:39.971 --> 01:10:43.934 We should stress that other supermarkets... Other award schemes are available. 01:10:43.954 --> 01:10:45.376 Yeah, booty points. 01:10:46.416 --> 01:10:50.958 Smithy nuggets Johnny points Johnny points all the shops have them. 01:10:51.178 --> 01:10:51.499 Yeah. 01:10:51.539 --> 01:10:51.759 Yeah. 01:10:51.779 --> 01:10:51.959 Yeah. 01:10:52.139 --> 01:10:54.660 Everyone's got points I'm just talking about one particular kind of points. 01:10:54.980 --> 01:10:57.781 Well, I've been building them up for about six or seven years, right? 01:10:58.002 --> 01:11:03.164 Right and what you haven't cashed them in six or seven and every time I go and do my shopping the lady says whoa 01:11:03.624 --> 01:11:04.725 You've got a lot of points. 01:11:04.745 --> 01:11:06.246 I'm sure you don't want to cash them in. 01:11:06.626 --> 01:11:09.848 And I'm always like, no, I'm going to save my points. 01:11:10.148 --> 01:11:11.049 I'm the king of points. 01:11:11.189 --> 01:11:11.829 I take it back. 01:11:11.869 --> 01:11:12.790 This is a good story. 01:11:12.850 --> 01:11:13.030 Right. 01:11:13.410 --> 01:11:20.935 But then the other day, I go into the supermarket and the woman shakes her head and goes, you've got a lot of points on here. 01:11:20.955 --> 01:11:22.916 And I was like, yeah, I'm the king of saving points. 01:11:23.397 --> 01:11:24.457 She said, no, no, no. 01:11:24.698 --> 01:11:26.679 They start to go after a while. 01:11:27.179 --> 01:11:27.439 What? 01:11:27.879 --> 01:11:28.199 What? 01:11:28.640 --> 01:11:29.680 How can that be right? 01:11:29.820 --> 01:11:30.720 They just fall off? 01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:32.221 They start removing the points? 01:11:32.701 --> 01:11:34.082 Or you reach a point ceiling? 01:11:34.362 --> 01:11:35.602 That can't be right, can it? 01:11:36.243 --> 01:11:40.544 You're probably threatening Sainsbury's financial situation. 01:11:40.924 --> 01:11:41.205 Right. 01:11:41.485 --> 01:11:44.886 Because if I get enough points, I could just do a hostile takeover. 01:11:44.906 --> 01:11:45.706 Just buy the company. 01:11:46.227 --> 01:11:48.347 Oh, you've got enough to own Sainsbury's. 01:11:50.188 --> 01:11:51.229 Can I go early for lunch? 01:11:52.790 --> 01:11:55.893 Could you like to start running the nine elm store? 01:11:56.394 --> 01:12:04.885 Yes, please I'd like it painted a different color for a start and large cardboard cutouts of myself over there and don't stock any more Jimmy car books. 01:12:04.965 --> 01:12:07.748 Thank you very much That's what I do improvement. 01:12:08.209 --> 01:12:08.910 I'm joking. 01:12:08.970 --> 01:12:09.350 Obviously. 01:12:09.751 --> 01:12:11.152 I'd like more Jimmy car books, but 01:12:11.753 --> 01:12:12.894 I was very worried by that. 01:12:12.914 --> 01:12:13.954 That can't be the case, can it? 01:12:13.974 --> 01:12:14.774 Well, what's the thinking? 01:12:14.814 --> 01:12:15.435 What's the logic? 01:12:15.755 --> 01:12:20.056 The logic is to stop prats like me just sitting on their points and I don't know. 01:12:20.097 --> 01:12:21.117 They start to go. 01:12:21.397 --> 01:12:22.417 They start to tail off. 01:12:22.437 --> 01:12:24.258 They've only got a finite life. 01:12:25.759 --> 01:12:26.639 I didn't quite understand. 01:12:26.659 --> 01:12:30.161 She said, yeah, after a while they start to... How many have you got? 01:12:31.481 --> 01:12:33.261 Oh, I wouldn't want to say on air because... Oh, please. 01:12:33.482 --> 01:12:35.122 It's like saying your bank balance, isn't it? 01:12:35.302 --> 01:12:35.842 Well, yeah. 01:12:35.882 --> 01:12:37.482 I mean, it's... How many tens of thousands? 01:12:37.662 --> 01:12:38.162 Yeah, yeah. 01:12:38.383 --> 01:12:38.703 Really? 01:12:39.163 --> 01:12:39.643 Seriously? 01:12:39.703 --> 01:12:40.083 Seriously. 01:12:40.363 --> 01:12:41.483 Hundreds of thousands. 01:12:42.063 --> 01:12:43.944 I really don't want to say on air because... Hundreds and thousands. 01:12:44.044 --> 01:12:48.965 Listen, if people knew how many points I had, then they're going to start mugging me for my card and stuff, right? 01:12:49.105 --> 01:12:49.985 For your Nectar card. 01:12:50.005 --> 01:12:50.545 Yeah, sure. 01:12:50.645 --> 01:12:53.546 Well, now they are anyway, because we know it's a huge number. 01:12:53.606 --> 01:12:53.966 A lot. 01:12:53.986 --> 01:12:54.986 A huge number. 01:12:55.006 --> 01:12:56.326 I mean, it's absolutely huge. 01:12:57.346 --> 01:12:59.767 I get a comment every single time I go... Really? 01:12:59.927 --> 01:13:00.127 Yeah. 01:13:00.587 --> 01:13:01.268 Wow! 01:13:01.568 --> 01:13:05.571 Sometimes, one time the woman called over and this is true to the next person. 01:13:05.871 --> 01:13:07.632 Look how many points he's got! 01:13:08.272 --> 01:13:08.633 Wow. 01:13:08.833 --> 01:13:09.073 Yeah. 01:13:09.333 --> 01:13:11.134 Women love men with lots of next to points. 01:13:11.154 --> 01:13:11.354 Sure. 01:13:11.595 --> 01:13:15.017 But here's the thing, the other day I looked online to see what I could get with my points. 01:13:15.998 --> 01:13:17.939 I could get more or less like a DVD player. 01:13:18.559 --> 01:13:19.820 Oh, that's about it. 01:13:20.261 --> 01:13:20.621 Really? 01:13:20.881 --> 01:13:21.802 So you haven't got that many. 01:13:21.882 --> 01:13:24.984 Well, no, I have got a lot, but you need a lot to get all the cash value stuff. 01:13:25.644 --> 01:13:26.725 They do have cash value. 01:13:26.785 --> 01:13:28.406 I could do a massive shop on them, yeah. 01:13:29.067 --> 01:13:29.427 Really? 01:13:29.527 --> 01:13:30.808 Yeah, I could organise a party. 01:13:30.988 --> 01:13:31.888 Maybe that's what I should do. 01:13:31.988 --> 01:13:34.830 One day we should have a party for some listeners and stuff. 01:13:35.871 --> 01:13:39.213 Purely paid for by your... We should call them a generic name. 01:13:39.954 --> 01:13:41.395 Supermarket loyalty points. 01:13:41.455 --> 01:13:42.095 A point party. 01:13:42.396 --> 01:13:43.516 Yeah, a point party. 01:13:43.536 --> 01:13:44.517 That's a really good idea. 01:13:44.577 --> 01:13:44.797 Yeah. 01:13:45.278 --> 01:13:45.658 I'm busy. 01:13:46.557 --> 01:13:48.238 Are you not going to the Point Party? 01:13:48.318 --> 01:13:48.858 I'm busy. 01:13:49.038 --> 01:13:49.718 I'm going away. 01:13:49.858 --> 01:13:50.939 Going on a torpedo mission. 01:13:51.259 --> 01:13:53.100 Yeah, I've got a military. 01:13:53.700 --> 01:13:56.981 I've been called up by the army for some underwater action. 01:13:58.001 --> 01:13:59.542 Right, what are we doing now? 01:13:59.762 --> 01:14:01.083 Oh, this is my free play, right. 01:14:01.683 --> 01:14:03.884 And this is a lovely bit of XTC. 01:14:04.024 --> 01:14:05.584 I love XTC, they're a great band. 01:14:06.204 --> 01:14:09.346 And, oh yeah, this is a great track. 01:14:09.486 --> 01:14:11.827 So I was trying to remember which one I actually selected. 01:14:11.867 --> 01:14:13.627 You know, I've changed my mind about the Point Party. 01:14:13.747 --> 01:14:13.967 Why? 01:14:14.247 --> 01:14:15.568 I'd just like to be there. 01:14:15.908 --> 01:14:16.528 I think it'd be a good party. 01:14:16.548 --> 01:14:17.089 Oh, you're coming? 01:14:17.209 --> 01:14:17.929 Yeah, I might come. 01:14:18.049 --> 01:14:18.469 Oh, great. 01:14:18.730 --> 01:14:18.970 Yeah. 01:14:19.210 --> 01:14:19.730 And when is it? 01:14:20.371 --> 01:14:20.711 I don't know. 01:14:20.731 --> 01:14:21.631 How are we going to organise it? 01:14:21.651 --> 01:14:22.332 We need to invite guests. 01:14:22.352 --> 01:14:22.792 We'll talk to Ben. 01:14:22.812 --> 01:14:25.633 There's all sorts of listeners to the Point Party. 01:14:25.653 --> 01:14:31.537 There's all sorts of British Castle logistical hoops that we'd have to jump through to organise the Point Party, but let's do it, man. 01:14:31.957 --> 01:14:32.237 Yeah? 01:14:32.877 --> 01:14:33.598 Are we all behind this? 01:14:34.058 --> 01:14:34.318 Ben? 01:14:34.518 --> 01:14:35.679 Let's do it with the camp and crawl. 01:14:35.939 --> 01:14:37.200 Ben's looking at a bit... Oh, yeah! 01:14:37.280 --> 01:14:37.900 Well, that's true. 01:14:37.940 --> 01:14:42.902 We're going to be at the... We don't know the details, but six music is involved in the Camden crawl. 01:14:43.242 --> 01:14:45.142 We're going to be doing our show from there, is that right? 01:14:45.322 --> 01:14:49.364 We don't know the details yet, but you could bring loads of bags full of goodies. 01:14:49.684 --> 01:14:49.964 Yeah. 01:14:50.324 --> 01:14:51.505 And distribute them to the crowd. 01:14:51.585 --> 01:14:52.305 At the point party. 01:14:52.345 --> 01:14:52.545 Yeah. 01:14:53.166 --> 01:14:53.847 Okay, let's do it. 01:14:53.927 --> 01:14:54.347 Let's do it. 01:14:54.867 --> 01:14:57.549 Here's XTC with 10 feet tall. 01:14:57.809 --> 01:14:58.350 Enjoy. 01:14:59.070 --> 01:15:04.334 That was the Beatles with their cover of the Suggs tune, I'm Only Sleeping. 01:15:04.494 --> 01:15:07.276 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 01:15:07.956 --> 01:15:12.739 And we are going to return now to the exciting world of Text the Nation. 01:15:15.181 --> 01:15:16.001 Text the Nation. 01:15:16.041 --> 01:15:17.983 Text, text, text, Text the Nation. 01:15:18.023 --> 01:15:18.983 What if I don't want to? 01:15:19.244 --> 01:15:19.904 Text the Nation. 01:15:19.924 --> 01:15:20.444 It doesn't matter. 01:15:20.504 --> 01:15:20.725 Text. 01:15:23.396 --> 01:15:32.324 And we have asked people to email us or text us about things they did, or are still doing even, in order to appear cool to other people. 01:15:32.384 --> 01:15:41.933 I've got a message here from Jim, and Jim says, Hi Adam and Joe, when I was at primary school, I used to tell everyone in my class that Rolf Harris was my grandad. 01:15:42.834 --> 01:15:46.396 I could draw quite well, so this served to back my story up. 01:15:46.837 --> 01:15:52.920 On wet lunch times, I would sit and draw the Rolferoo, and people started asking me to teach them how to draw it. 01:15:53.381 --> 01:15:58.664 I was cool, because I could draw the Rolferoo better than anyone else, because Rolf Harris was my grandad. 01:15:59.224 --> 01:16:03.808 I also promised a lot of people at school that I possessed the technology to make them a hoverboard. 01:16:04.449 --> 01:16:08.272 I took lots of orders but alas, never made any hoverboards. 01:16:09.073 --> 01:16:09.473 P.S. 01:16:10.434 --> 01:16:11.335 Oh yes, okay. 01:16:11.375 --> 01:16:14.197 This is Jim who sent us some amazing drawings that he's done. 01:16:14.217 --> 01:16:14.798 He's really good. 01:16:14.818 --> 01:16:15.999 This guy's called Jim Stoughton. 01:16:16.019 --> 01:16:17.120 You can check out his website. 01:16:17.140 --> 01:16:18.221 He's a brilliant illustrator. 01:16:18.501 --> 01:16:21.183 Thank you very much indeed for your message there, Jim. 01:16:22.344 --> 01:16:24.045 Here's one from Johnny White. 01:16:24.666 --> 01:16:28.128 One summer, when I was about 10 or 11, I wanted to be a hippie. 01:16:28.608 --> 01:16:31.930 So I painted a big flower on the back of one of those green army jackets. 01:16:32.531 --> 01:16:41.757 Later that same summer, I decided to be a punk, which I achieved just by painting over the flower with black paint and writing destroy in big letters. 01:16:42.737 --> 01:16:49.184 Oddly enough, within weeks, literally, I was wearing a sprayed gold VW sign on a big chain around my neck. 01:16:49.905 --> 01:16:53.889 That's pretty good, from hippie to punk to hip-hopper in one summer. 01:16:54.049 --> 01:16:54.830 Who's this person? 01:16:54.970 --> 01:16:57.012 The many changing moods of Johnny White. 01:16:57.373 --> 01:16:59.515 Is Johnny White the most shallow person in the world? 01:16:59.695 --> 01:17:00.716 Yeah. 01:17:01.217 --> 01:17:02.438 Johnny White. 01:17:02.939 --> 01:17:04.300 That's great that he admits to it. 01:17:04.480 --> 01:17:17.451 I also, in the last year of primary school, did a drawing which on one side said rock and had a cool guy playing an electric guitar and on the other side said corporate rock and had an uncool guy playing an acoustic guitar. 01:17:18.031 --> 01:17:19.152 Doesn't really make sense. 01:17:19.673 --> 01:17:22.815 I also once pretended to speak in tongues to impress a girl. 01:17:27.999 --> 01:17:33.506 I used to quote whole Lenny Henry routines as if they were my own jokes. 01:17:33.586 --> 01:17:34.407 That's Johnny White. 01:17:34.427 --> 01:17:35.989 There's a lot coming out from Johnny White. 01:17:36.089 --> 01:17:38.672 I've never heard anyone speaking any time. 01:17:38.772 --> 01:17:42.236 There would be a very hardcore Christian girl who would find that impressive. 01:17:42.256 --> 01:17:43.257 Like Papa Lazarou. 01:17:43.337 --> 01:17:43.638 Yeah. 01:17:43.958 --> 01:17:45.280 Some women find that attractive. 01:17:45.300 --> 01:17:45.620 Do they? 01:17:45.900 --> 01:17:46.161 Yeah. 01:17:46.641 --> 01:17:47.442 Yeah, one, yeah. 01:17:48.783 --> 01:17:52.305 Yes, greetings from Singapore says, who's this from David? 01:17:52.945 --> 01:17:58.968 He says, when I was about 13 and possibly the uncoolest boy in the world, I decided to take radical action. 01:17:59.708 --> 01:18:04.370 It seemed to me that the quickest way to get in with the in-crowd was to get a reputation for being a fighter. 01:18:05.010 --> 01:18:09.934 Of course, I had no intention of actually fighting anyone, because it seemed quite dangerous. 01:18:10.454 --> 01:18:14.177 The solution, therefore, was to tell people I'd been in a really serious fight. 01:18:14.737 --> 01:18:21.222 To avoid the risk of being accused of being a liar, I decided I needed some evidence, so naturally I decided to give myself a black eye. 01:18:21.983 --> 01:18:28.868 I got my mum's rolling pin, went up to my bedroom, and spent the best part of two hours whacking myself in the eye. 01:18:29.488 --> 01:18:29.988 goodness. 01:18:30.008 --> 01:18:30.649 Is that true? 01:18:31.169 --> 01:18:36.653 With no bruising appearing, it seemed I'd have to give myself a bit more welly, but it was quite a hard thing to do. 01:18:36.713 --> 01:18:45.400 Every time I tried to hit myself hard, my survival instincts would kick in and I'd pull back from delivering the blow with full power. 01:18:47.261 --> 01:18:51.744 Eventually, I had some mild discolouration around my eye. 01:18:52.145 --> 01:18:53.966 The next day it's called No One Notice. 01:18:59.701 --> 01:19:03.263 I mean, that's terrible, isn't it? 01:19:03.543 --> 01:19:05.624 Self-harm is a very serious thing, of course. 01:19:05.844 --> 01:19:07.365 You don't want to encourage any form of it. 01:19:07.385 --> 01:19:10.446 You could have done that with a bit of burnt cork or boot polish. 01:19:10.526 --> 01:19:10.906 Surely. 01:19:11.507 --> 01:19:12.287 Imagine getting busted. 01:19:12.307 --> 01:19:13.167 He was going the whole hog. 01:19:13.187 --> 01:19:14.628 He wanted to do it for real and stuff. 01:19:14.708 --> 01:19:18.550 I mean, that's an impressive degree of insanity, but insanity nevertheless. 01:19:18.630 --> 01:19:22.632 I remember one time I ran through some brambles when I was playing catch at school. 01:19:23.252 --> 01:19:32.657 Catch, chase, I don't know what I was doing, but I got a couple of parallel nicks above my eye, like just by my eyebrow, little parallel scratches. 01:19:33.617 --> 01:19:41.041 And Adam and the ants were in the charts at the time and I looked a tiny bit like I was in Adam and the ants and I had some kind of tribal marking on my face. 01:19:41.561 --> 01:19:47.444 But, you know, it wasn't just painted on, it was real as if I was in a real kind of tribe, you know, like I was a warrior. 01:19:48.384 --> 01:19:54.186 And when the scar started to fade, I got depressed because people, a lot of people had been commenting on how cool the scar was. 01:19:54.786 --> 01:19:59.948 So I tried to freshen it up and give it a little scrape there. 01:19:59.968 --> 01:20:03.109 I remember getting on nail and stuff and just dug in there a little bit. 01:20:03.129 --> 01:20:03.349 Nail. 01:20:03.589 --> 01:20:03.909 Yeah. 01:20:04.369 --> 01:20:05.149 It was terrible. 01:20:05.389 --> 01:20:05.969 It was terrible. 01:20:05.989 --> 01:20:06.950 That's not to be encouraged. 01:20:06.970 --> 01:20:07.610 No, by no means. 01:20:07.690 --> 01:20:08.570 That's self-harm. 01:20:08.590 --> 01:20:10.171 I think it went bad after a while. 01:20:10.371 --> 01:20:11.431 What, you mean it got infected? 01:20:11.451 --> 01:20:12.631 I think it got a little infected. 01:20:12.872 --> 01:20:13.872 Weren't you happy about that? 01:20:14.072 --> 01:20:17.533 No, I was upset because A, it was painful and B, it didn't look nearly as cool. 01:20:18.092 --> 01:20:21.534 Here's one from Nick, aka Slice Monkey. 01:20:22.174 --> 01:20:22.494 Hi. 01:20:22.954 --> 01:20:31.558 I used to stand at the bottom of escalators pulling the handrail as if it was me causing the stairs to descend rather than a complex and powerful set of motors. 01:20:31.778 --> 01:20:35.079 I know that feeling, yeah. 01:20:35.159 --> 01:20:38.641 It doesn't say how old he was or she. 01:20:38.801 --> 01:20:39.541 I guess it's a he. 01:20:39.921 --> 01:20:40.722 The Slice Monkey. 01:20:40.962 --> 01:20:41.222 Yeah. 01:20:41.242 --> 01:20:43.203 I don't think a girl would call herself the Slice Monkey. 01:20:43.243 --> 01:20:43.743 You never know. 01:20:44.103 --> 01:20:45.944 Women are above that kind of thing, I'm glad to say. 01:20:46.195 --> 01:20:52.258 This is from Andy, uh, dash milky beans, who says, Hi Adam and Joe. 01:20:52.618 --> 01:20:59.781 When I was a young cool cat, I used to cycle to school and to impress the ladies would cycle past them without holding the handlebars. 01:21:00.481 --> 01:21:04.643 It was cool until my trousers got caught in the chain and I fell off in front of some of the ultra cool kids. 01:21:05.243 --> 01:21:07.564 I'm still filled with melancholy to this day. 01:21:07.905 --> 01:21:11.927 That's another unit of basic cool currency for kids. 01:21:12.387 --> 01:21:18.150 Aside from running with flat palms to make yourself more streamlined, to be able to cycle without holding the handlebars. 01:21:18.290 --> 01:21:19.150 I never achieved it. 01:21:19.670 --> 01:21:20.391 I could do one. 01:21:20.971 --> 01:21:29.053 and I used to flaunt that very flamboyantly just by putting one hand in my pocket and then just steering with the other one. 01:21:29.173 --> 01:21:32.254 My mum and dad thought it was very dangerous but of course I thought it was cool. 01:21:32.534 --> 01:21:34.615 Could you cycle with no handlebars? 01:21:34.895 --> 01:21:36.915 I couldn't until I got a certain type of bike. 01:21:36.975 --> 01:21:38.055 With some bikes it's easier. 01:21:38.075 --> 01:21:40.496 The bigger the bike the easier it is because it's all balanced out. 01:21:40.896 --> 01:21:46.017 I used to do it by tightening the nut on the handlebars but then of course I couldn't turn corners. 01:21:46.098 --> 01:21:46.998 Can't steer properly. 01:21:48.118 --> 01:21:48.718 What an idiot. 01:21:49.018 --> 01:21:49.538 Well, you know what? 01:21:49.718 --> 01:21:50.679 I still do that, though. 01:21:50.699 --> 01:21:54.940 I still sometimes, you know, make a show of putting my gloves on. 01:21:55.620 --> 01:21:59.861 And obviously, I'm not holding the handlebars while I'm doing that, but I'm still cycling. 01:22:00.341 --> 01:22:02.342 And I do think I'm quite cool. 01:22:02.962 --> 01:22:07.303 And people probably think like, look at him, he's the best cyclist in the world. 01:22:07.563 --> 01:22:11.887 He's not even thinking about it, he's just putting his gloves on there, he doesn't need hands for anything. 01:22:12.208 --> 01:22:19.715 Oh man, look, we've gone way past the news slot here, not way past, but it's just gone 11.30 here on BBC 6 Music, and it is time for the... 01:22:21.676 --> 01:22:28.000 That was True Romance by Golden Silver. 01:22:28.080 --> 01:22:29.881 Oh, I thought you were saying it was a track by True Romance. 01:22:29.901 --> 01:22:31.002 No, unfortunately not. 01:22:31.022 --> 01:22:33.784 When are we going to play Eye Eye Eye Moosey? 01:22:34.004 --> 01:22:35.004 They were modern romance. 01:22:36.305 --> 01:22:38.627 True Romance was a film by Tony Scott. 01:22:38.647 --> 01:22:40.468 When are we going to play Eye Eye Eye Moosey? 01:22:40.508 --> 01:22:41.508 Next week it sounds like. 01:22:42.609 --> 01:22:44.430 Absolutely wicked. 01:22:44.470 --> 01:22:48.533 Now we had some lovely jingles sent in to us during the week by some of our listeners 01:22:49.253 --> 01:22:53.978 And a reminder that we asked people a few weeks back. 01:22:54.018 --> 01:22:58.122 We suggested that people sent in jingles, you know, because we like our jingles on this show. 01:22:58.722 --> 01:22:59.363 Jingle jingles. 01:22:59.423 --> 01:23:02.406 And we were inundated with jingles, so apologies if we haven't played yours. 01:23:02.446 --> 01:23:04.668 They were all very good enough, a very impressive standard. 01:23:05.068 --> 01:23:06.029 That's the tactic, though. 01:23:06.049 --> 01:23:07.711 We're going to drip feed them. 01:23:07.751 --> 01:23:08.251 Yeah, exactly. 01:23:08.531 --> 01:23:12.015 And keep people tuned to the show in that way, in a manipulative manner. 01:23:12.375 --> 01:23:15.056 Yeah, but then if we never played it, they would be absolutely furious. 01:23:15.076 --> 01:23:16.157 They'd feel short changed. 01:23:16.177 --> 01:23:16.877 They'd come after us. 01:23:16.917 --> 01:23:17.917 They'd nick my neck points. 01:23:17.937 --> 01:23:19.298 Yeah, but not for a while. 01:23:20.678 --> 01:23:22.179 Let's have... Who done this one? 01:23:22.239 --> 01:23:22.859 Who done this one? 01:23:22.959 --> 01:23:23.980 Who done this one? 01:23:24.000 --> 01:23:24.540 Who done this one? 01:23:24.600 --> 01:23:26.781 Who, who, who, who, who done this one? 01:23:26.801 --> 01:23:28.581 It's on that bit of progress, Jamie. 01:23:29.882 --> 01:23:30.002 Oh. 01:23:30.022 --> 01:23:31.703 This one? 01:23:31.723 --> 01:23:32.303 This one, is it? 01:23:32.703 --> 01:23:33.884 Communicating your thoughts. 01:23:34.004 --> 01:23:37.205 Let's hear it first, and then while it's playing, you can point to the piece of paper. 01:23:38.425 --> 01:23:38.846 What is it? 01:23:43.901 --> 01:23:44.063 Bye! 01:23:53.746 --> 01:23:54.807 That's brilliant! 01:23:55.347 --> 01:24:01.910 Wow, I really dig the ones where people have sampled bits of the show or existing jingles and done wicked things with them. 01:24:02.050 --> 01:24:03.011 That was really good. 01:24:03.031 --> 01:24:03.851 That was good, wasn't it? 01:24:03.891 --> 01:24:06.332 You've got skills, Johnny Remmler. 01:24:06.913 --> 01:24:07.473 Very nice. 01:24:07.593 --> 01:24:10.314 I mean, the thing is that it was so... Hang on a second. 01:24:10.334 --> 01:24:12.456 They were made by my brother Cecil in Boston. 01:24:15.754 --> 01:24:16.974 Well done Cecil in Boston. 01:24:17.735 --> 01:24:18.355 That was great. 01:24:18.575 --> 01:24:20.416 I wonder how he constructed those. 01:24:20.476 --> 01:24:21.296 Anyway, very impressive. 01:24:21.316 --> 01:24:22.917 It's not enough people called Cecil anymore. 01:24:23.337 --> 01:24:23.838 No, that's true. 01:24:23.858 --> 01:24:24.618 It's a good name, isn't it? 01:24:24.638 --> 01:24:25.578 It's a very good name. 01:24:25.638 --> 01:24:26.399 It's coming back. 01:24:27.099 --> 01:24:27.579 Cecil. 01:24:27.759 --> 01:24:30.441 I would call my child Cecil. 01:24:30.461 --> 01:24:32.602 Have another one just to call the child Cecil. 01:24:32.662 --> 01:24:33.302 Maybe I will. 01:24:33.342 --> 01:24:33.942 I'm going to get started. 01:24:33.962 --> 01:24:34.362 I will. 01:24:34.562 --> 01:24:36.343 I'm going to get started this weekend. 01:24:36.423 --> 01:24:37.684 Buy one with your nectar points. 01:24:38.144 --> 01:24:39.264 I probably could. 01:24:39.324 --> 01:24:40.285 I've easily got enough. 01:24:40.565 --> 01:24:41.405 Madonna does it. 01:24:41.885 --> 01:24:46.326 A ridiculous woman. 01:24:47.026 --> 01:24:48.166 Don't you know how old she is? 01:24:49.007 --> 01:24:50.927 Buying babies like they're some sort of product. 01:24:51.127 --> 01:24:53.988 Is this another one of your conversations that you have at dinner parties? 01:24:54.108 --> 01:24:55.348 No, yes. 01:24:55.508 --> 01:24:58.109 If anyone ever invited me to a dinner party, that's what I'd say. 01:24:58.789 --> 01:25:00.091 That's probably one of the reasons they don't. 01:25:00.131 --> 01:25:01.212 Good evening, I'm Joe Cornish. 01:25:01.272 --> 01:25:02.974 I've got three topics of conversation tonight. 01:25:03.154 --> 01:25:11.684 The wire, how good it is, Madonna, how she should stop buying babies, and conversation three, what is it? 01:25:11.964 --> 01:25:14.327 Ben's worried about us talking about Madonna and her adoptions. 01:25:14.607 --> 01:25:18.111 Yeah, that's, you know, it's absolutely fine. 01:25:19.440 --> 01:25:20.521 That's all right, we're off the hook. 01:25:21.282 --> 01:25:21.562 Good. 01:25:22.183 --> 01:25:25.306 We're not implying anything bad about it, she's a wonderful woman. 01:25:25.406 --> 01:25:28.509 Now listen, you're not a vegetarian, are you Adam? 01:25:28.789 --> 01:25:30.271 No, no, I like to eat meat. 01:25:30.551 --> 01:25:34.555 I have seen some shocking examples of shellfish torture on television. 01:25:34.575 --> 01:25:35.156 Really? 01:25:35.216 --> 01:25:36.477 And it's really freaked me out. 01:25:36.717 --> 01:25:40.321 Do you know there's that show where that man Monty Hall goes and lives on an island? 01:25:40.861 --> 01:25:42.143 He's trying to become a crofter. 01:25:42.203 --> 01:25:43.244 It doesn't look like you've seen it. 01:25:43.604 --> 01:25:43.844 No. 01:25:44.004 --> 01:25:52.229 It's a show where this man, he's a professional diver, but he's decided to go and try and live like a crofter would on the Scottish coast. 01:25:52.689 --> 01:25:53.990 Is this on terrestrial or did you? 01:25:54.030 --> 01:25:55.271 Yeah, this is on the BBC. 01:25:55.331 --> 01:25:55.691 Is it? 01:25:55.851 --> 01:25:57.692 Yeah, it's a very popular and important programme. 01:25:57.712 --> 01:25:59.253 The listeners all know what I'm talking about. 01:25:59.313 --> 01:26:01.475 Monty Hall doing his crofting. 01:26:01.555 --> 01:26:03.035 He was catching crayfish. 01:26:04.156 --> 01:26:13.424 And he got these crayfish out of the sea and he had what looked like one of those crates that you would store glasses if you rented some glasses for a function. 01:26:13.624 --> 01:26:13.884 Oh yes. 01:26:14.044 --> 01:26:16.746 You know with a sort of crisscross of card holding. 01:26:16.766 --> 01:26:17.427 Partitions. 01:26:17.667 --> 01:26:21.270 He was putting these crayfish, they've got very long arms with snappy bits on the end. 01:26:21.310 --> 01:26:21.690 Certainly. 01:26:21.950 --> 01:26:28.235 He was holding their arms in the air and he was putting them in these little holes in this crate so they couldn't move. 01:26:29.332 --> 01:26:32.493 And it seemed very uncomfortable for the crayfish. 01:26:33.233 --> 01:26:35.174 And inhumane, he didn't give a toot. 01:26:35.614 --> 01:26:36.314 Well, they're funny, aren't they? 01:26:36.334 --> 01:26:45.357 He was chatting away, popping the crayfish into these horrible little cells, alive, and chatting away as if it was just a fun devil-may-care lifestyle program. 01:26:45.577 --> 01:26:46.277 I have not finished. 01:26:46.317 --> 01:26:46.897 I'm so sorry. 01:26:47.197 --> 01:26:50.618 Then I saw more selfish torture. 01:26:51.018 --> 01:26:52.139 And come dine with me. 01:26:52.999 --> 01:26:58.961 Channel 4 someone was do you know that program sure someone was cooking crabs, right? 01:26:59.021 --> 01:27:17.366 They got these live crabs, and he stuffed them in the freezer alive Yeah, well whilst casually chit-chatting about his stupid dinner party so within a week that was two bits of horrific Shellfish torture have you never seen what they do to crabs at fancy restaurants and lobsters really eat crabs 01:27:18.226 --> 01:27:19.328 It freaks me out. 01:27:19.408 --> 01:27:19.929 Well, you're right. 01:27:19.969 --> 01:27:26.878 I mean, I've always felt that... Why is it that shellfish, there seems to be just, it seems to be all right for you to do whatever you want to a shellfish. 01:27:27.258 --> 01:27:32.125 Now a fish, they're kind of asking for it because they're shaped like clubs. 01:27:32.706 --> 01:27:35.049 They're shaped like swimming handles, aren't they? 01:27:35.109 --> 01:27:35.730 You want to bash them. 01:27:36.750 --> 01:27:38.651 Well, at least you get it over with really fast. 01:27:39.071 --> 01:27:41.652 This is terrible for vegetarians and it's awful, you know. 01:27:41.672 --> 01:27:44.954 Especially for the fish community as well. 01:27:44.974 --> 01:27:46.914 The worst off are the fish. 01:27:47.075 --> 01:27:50.416 They're going to find it very... All the fish listening are going to think, this is sick. 01:27:50.456 --> 01:27:52.237 This is the reason I hate the BBC. 01:27:52.257 --> 01:27:52.977 They're going to be thinking. 01:27:53.477 --> 01:27:54.757 But you're absolutely right. 01:27:55.017 --> 01:27:56.238 People take great care of fish. 01:27:56.258 --> 01:28:03.619 If you're a fisherman and you're not going to cook and eat the fish, if you are, you will put an end to its life as quickly as possible. 01:28:04.599 --> 01:28:06.980 If you're not, you have to throw it back into the river. 01:28:07.540 --> 01:28:12.541 Why are you allowed to do these horrible things to crayfish and crabs and shellfish? 01:28:13.081 --> 01:28:14.902 And why is it being broadcast on the telly? 01:28:15.302 --> 01:28:15.542 I know. 01:28:15.582 --> 01:28:16.982 Well, it's a grey area, isn't it? 01:28:18.328 --> 01:28:19.109 Well, it shouldn't be. 01:28:19.409 --> 01:28:20.590 No, but I agree with you. 01:28:20.690 --> 01:28:20.990 I agree. 01:28:21.010 --> 01:28:31.559 I always thought it was a bit weird when they used to get, you know, you'd have the tanks of lobsters in fancy restaurants sometimes, and you'd be able to point at the lobster that you wanted to destroy. 01:28:31.579 --> 01:28:32.279 You know what I mean? 01:28:32.559 --> 01:28:35.502 Like usually in fish tanks, you admire the fish. 01:28:35.942 --> 01:28:40.366 Oh, beautiful fish and they're in a little fun environment there and it's nice to see them. 01:28:40.967 --> 01:28:46.212 And obviously it would be nice for them if they were in the freedom of the sea, but still they're swimming around in their own little environment. 01:28:46.492 --> 01:28:47.713 But then suddenly you've got a lobster in there. 01:28:47.933 --> 01:28:49.615 I want to kill that one over there. 01:28:49.775 --> 01:28:54.799 And then the chef will pluck them out and plunge them live into boiling water. 01:28:54.820 --> 01:28:55.280 It's miserable. 01:28:55.720 --> 01:28:57.602 You know what my girlfriend said when I talked to her about this? 01:28:57.962 --> 01:29:01.766 She said that it's because they're so armoured, they're sort of asking for it. 01:29:02.146 --> 01:29:05.191 Hmm that was her take they look as if they can protect themselves. 01:29:05.211 --> 01:29:07.554 They've got those massive nippers Yeah, exactly. 01:29:07.674 --> 01:29:13.523 So so it's almost as if they should be able to defend themselves Yeah, but that doesn't make sense. 01:29:13.743 --> 01:29:15.886 No, that's flawed logic because they're much weaker. 01:29:16.087 --> 01:29:17.829 I'm gonna put her in a tiny little crate 01:29:19.059 --> 01:29:20.100 Pop her in the freezer. 01:29:20.140 --> 01:29:21.281 See what she thinks about that. 01:29:21.341 --> 01:29:22.301 Clunge her into boiling water. 01:29:22.321 --> 01:29:23.062 I'm not going to do that. 01:29:23.202 --> 01:29:24.062 I'm not going to do that. 01:29:24.082 --> 01:29:24.423 You shouldn't. 01:29:24.443 --> 01:29:25.363 I'm not even going to say that. 01:29:25.463 --> 01:29:25.683 No. 01:29:25.844 --> 01:29:26.284 Why would you? 01:29:26.644 --> 01:29:27.184 Let's go test. 01:29:27.204 --> 01:29:28.005 Say something about Madonna. 01:29:28.886 --> 01:29:29.346 She's great. 01:29:29.366 --> 01:29:29.566 Don't. 01:29:29.666 --> 01:29:29.926 Yes. 01:29:29.986 --> 01:29:30.527 There you go. 01:29:30.547 --> 01:29:30.827 Brilliant. 01:29:30.987 --> 01:29:31.828 She's absolutely brilliant. 01:29:32.188 --> 01:29:33.269 She's a wonderful, sensitive woman. 01:29:33.369 --> 01:29:34.970 She's right to do all the things she's doing. 01:29:34.990 --> 01:29:35.150 Yeah. 01:29:35.250 --> 01:29:35.910 Is that cool, Ben? 01:29:35.930 --> 01:29:36.631 Are we off the hook now? 01:29:37.111 --> 01:29:37.551 Jolly good. 01:29:37.992 --> 01:29:38.372 Hope so. 01:29:39.172 --> 01:29:39.333 Right. 01:29:39.393 --> 01:29:42.114 It's time for a little Kerris Matthews-based trail. 01:29:42.255 --> 01:29:42.655 Here it is. 01:29:43.328 --> 01:29:43.988 Lovely Kerris. 01:29:44.068 --> 01:29:45.389 There's a reason we played that, isn't there? 01:29:45.449 --> 01:29:48.449 Isn't she sitting in for a six-music DJ? 01:29:48.469 --> 01:29:49.430 There was a trail about it. 01:29:49.450 --> 01:29:50.390 She's sitting in for Nimone. 01:29:50.550 --> 01:29:51.110 There you go. 01:29:51.830 --> 01:29:53.051 On Monday from 1pm. 01:29:53.571 --> 01:29:55.531 Aw, it's a shame that we're not going to cross over with her. 01:29:55.771 --> 01:29:57.352 We could hang, because we met her years ago, didn't we? 01:29:57.372 --> 01:29:58.052 Yeah, we could hang with her. 01:29:58.072 --> 01:29:59.232 We're close personal friends. 01:29:59.252 --> 01:30:02.033 All sorts of chit-chat, flirting would happen. 01:30:02.573 --> 01:30:03.533 No, there'd be no flirting. 01:30:03.553 --> 01:30:04.514 It's all above board now. 01:30:04.754 --> 01:30:05.494 We're in this show, yeah. 01:30:05.514 --> 01:30:07.674 No, we're not going to be sleazy anymore. 01:30:07.694 --> 01:30:08.615 Right? 01:30:08.855 --> 01:30:09.375 Speak for yourself. 01:30:11.556 --> 01:30:12.717 Mr. Ripnips. 01:30:13.657 --> 01:30:16.939 Yeah, exactly when you're a fit professional footballer like I am. 01:30:16.959 --> 01:30:18.920 When your nipples are so rippled. 01:30:18.960 --> 01:30:20.420 When you've got your nippy rippies. 01:30:20.460 --> 01:30:21.821 People can't help flirting with you. 01:30:21.841 --> 01:30:24.943 The birds are all over you. 01:30:24.983 --> 01:30:28.284 Did you catch what's it called the getaway last night with bald women? 01:30:28.324 --> 01:30:29.405 I saw a little bit of it. 01:30:29.665 --> 01:30:30.866 I forgot it was so saucy. 01:30:30.966 --> 01:30:31.546 It's awful. 01:30:32.007 --> 01:30:32.787 It's not awful. 01:30:32.827 --> 01:30:33.508 It is awful. 01:30:33.688 --> 01:30:34.529 I tuned in. 01:30:34.569 --> 01:30:37.891 This is a film starring Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger. 01:30:38.371 --> 01:30:41.354 She was shooting a gun in the most fetishistic way possible. 01:30:41.594 --> 01:30:42.394 Oh, it's reprehensible. 01:30:42.434 --> 01:30:45.116 And then they started talking to each other about how sexy the gun was. 01:30:45.216 --> 01:30:46.798 And then Michael Masdon. 01:30:47.478 --> 01:30:48.178 turned up. 01:30:48.298 --> 01:30:48.938 What's his name? 01:30:48.958 --> 01:30:49.319 Madsen. 01:30:49.539 --> 01:30:49.979 Madsen. 01:30:50.039 --> 01:30:52.419 Turned up with the stupidest looking hair I've ever seen. 01:30:52.439 --> 01:30:53.160 I know, it's a crazy way. 01:30:53.180 --> 01:30:54.580 On the most ridiculous bike. 01:30:55.060 --> 01:30:55.240 Yeah. 01:30:55.340 --> 01:30:56.560 And then I just seem very 90s. 01:30:56.700 --> 01:30:57.081 It is. 01:30:57.101 --> 01:30:59.501 Very post-terrentino and quite dated. 01:30:59.521 --> 01:31:01.302 Oh, it's dated. 01:31:01.382 --> 01:31:01.602 No? 01:31:02.002 --> 01:31:03.762 I thought it was a... This is based on having two minutes of it. 01:31:03.782 --> 01:31:05.263 I thought it was an enjoyable romp. 01:31:05.643 --> 01:31:09.324 I mean, it's got some bad... Everything's an enjoyable romp to you. 01:31:10.824 --> 01:31:11.664 That's partly true. 01:31:12.084 --> 01:31:14.005 Is that such a thing as an unenjoyable romp? 01:31:14.545 --> 01:31:16.086 Yeah, yeah, there's a low-quality romp. 01:31:16.306 --> 01:31:16.566 Right. 01:31:18.547 --> 01:31:19.027 I would imagine. 01:31:19.047 --> 01:31:21.328 Keep talking though, why was it good? 01:31:21.828 --> 01:31:27.130 It was really good because... Well, partly because... The original's very good. 01:31:27.390 --> 01:31:28.050 Yeah, it is good. 01:31:28.371 --> 01:31:28.951 But no, it was good. 01:31:28.991 --> 01:31:35.733 I mean, there were some bits that are kind of sick and disgusting and weird and you sort of, as you say, bits of reprehensible fetishistic violence. 01:31:36.134 --> 01:31:40.535 But on the other hand, I was really buying the sexy tension between Baldwin and Bastion. 01:31:40.555 --> 01:31:41.676 Well, they were a couple at the time. 01:31:42.056 --> 01:31:42.837 Of course they were. 01:31:42.857 --> 01:31:44.579 Yeah, they were having real sexy times. 01:31:44.619 --> 01:31:45.560 That's right. 01:31:46.040 --> 01:31:51.987 And you get to see them having sexy times in the film in really a fairly shockingly explicit way, I thought. 01:31:52.267 --> 01:31:52.527 Shocking. 01:31:52.607 --> 01:31:58.534 In a way that would have been cut out on the TV years ago, but they don't really censor films in that way on television. 01:31:58.554 --> 01:31:59.235 No, anything goes. 01:31:59.575 --> 01:32:00.356 Anything goes. 01:32:00.636 --> 01:32:01.257 Hooray! 01:32:02.418 --> 01:32:05.941 So I got back from doing a gig last night and it was great. 01:32:06.301 --> 01:32:09.103 And I hadn't eaten supper, so I was very hungry. 01:32:09.663 --> 01:32:11.544 And I had myself a fish finger sandwich. 01:32:12.225 --> 01:32:12.825 Ooh, yum. 01:32:13.426 --> 01:32:15.067 And I hadn't had a fish finger sandwich for ages. 01:32:15.187 --> 01:32:19.190 And it absolutely hit the spot, turned on the TV, thinking, oh, there's going to be nothing to watch. 01:32:19.350 --> 01:32:20.130 The getaway was on. 01:32:20.370 --> 01:32:20.611 Yes. 01:32:21.932 --> 01:32:28.116 saucy fun with Baldwin and Bassinger in their prime, fish finger sandwich, I'm in heaven. 01:32:28.997 --> 01:32:29.177 Yep. 01:32:29.958 --> 01:32:33.040 Oh my God. 01:32:33.080 --> 01:32:33.701 What a night. 01:32:34.361 --> 01:32:35.182 I tell you what I did. 01:32:35.242 --> 01:32:35.842 What did you do? 01:32:35.982 --> 01:32:40.846 After I watched the getaway, I thought, wow, Alec Baldwin, he's got really doughy and fat. 01:32:41.287 --> 01:32:41.887 Oh, what? 01:32:42.427 --> 01:32:43.308 On 30 Rock. 01:32:43.728 --> 01:32:43.949 Right. 01:32:43.989 --> 01:32:47.732 He's brilliant on 30 Rock, but he's really put on a lot of weight. 01:32:47.872 --> 01:32:48.292 Yeah, yeah. 01:32:48.652 --> 01:32:48.952 Hasn't he? 01:32:49.733 --> 01:32:50.853 Well, exactly. 01:32:51.014 --> 01:32:51.774 That's what I was thinking. 01:32:51.814 --> 01:32:59.237 I was thinking, wow, look at how fit and handsome he was then, and look how less fit and handsome he is now. 01:32:59.577 --> 01:33:11.182 So I IMDBed his date of birth and figured out how old he was when he made that film, and how old I was, and started thinking about whether I would be as huge and doughy as him in 10 years. 01:33:11.822 --> 01:33:13.362 So it turns out he's 10 years older than me. 01:33:13.643 --> 01:33:13.863 Right. 01:33:14.103 --> 01:33:15.483 Well, the answer is yes. 01:33:15.523 --> 01:33:16.644 That's something to look forward to. 01:33:17.344 --> 01:33:18.425 Passage time, mate, innit? 01:33:18.605 --> 01:33:20.086 But he's brilliant in 30 Rock, isn't he? 01:33:20.126 --> 01:33:20.726 Yeah, he's great. 01:33:20.746 --> 01:33:21.967 Yeah, he's a good actor, yeah. 01:33:22.027 --> 01:33:29.272 Listen, I was talking about ABC playing the lexicon of love at the Royal Albert Hall, and the date of that concert is Wednesday, the 8th of April. 01:33:29.993 --> 01:33:33.575 And that's going to be amazing, introduced by Trevor Horn, conducted by Anne Dudley. 01:33:34.015 --> 01:33:35.436 I'm very excited about that. 01:33:35.456 --> 01:33:35.977 Very excited. 01:33:35.997 --> 01:33:36.677 I'm going to be there. 01:33:37.017 --> 01:33:37.398 Excellent. 01:33:37.478 --> 01:33:38.138 Here's a free play. 01:33:38.158 --> 01:33:42.641 This is from King Creosote's new album, which is due out on April the 20th. 01:33:42.922 --> 01:33:45.944 It's called Flicking the V's, and we got sent this last week. 01:33:46.684 --> 01:33:48.368 And I've been playing it non-stop this week. 01:33:49.130 --> 01:33:50.954 And this is my favourite track from it so far. 01:33:50.994 --> 01:33:52.377 It's called No Way She Exists. 01:33:53.444 --> 01:34:01.889 That's King Creosote with No Way She Exists from his forthcoming album, Flick the V's, which features contributions from Steve Mason from the Beta Band. 01:34:01.989 --> 01:34:02.529 Oh, fantastic. 01:34:02.789 --> 01:34:04.430 Yeah, that is a very good album. 01:34:04.450 --> 01:34:06.051 I've been listening to it for a week. 01:34:06.691 --> 01:34:07.412 And it is wicked. 01:34:07.552 --> 01:34:08.372 And it is wicked. 01:34:08.633 --> 01:34:09.733 Hey, folks, that's it. 01:34:09.813 --> 01:34:12.155 Can't believe it seems to have gone very fast this week. 01:34:12.195 --> 01:34:13.435 Thank you so much for joining us. 01:34:13.695 --> 01:34:16.077 Thanks to everyone who's texted and emailed in. 01:34:16.097 --> 01:34:19.939 We're sorry if we didn't read yours out, but blame Charlotte. 01:34:20.439 --> 01:34:25.545 who is our assistant, who was the person who didn't hand or select your message. 01:34:25.625 --> 01:34:31.352 You can't do team bullying, you'll end up like a... Stop bullying, I'm just saying blame Charlotte. 01:34:31.392 --> 01:34:32.233 No, Charlotte's brilliant. 01:34:32.593 --> 01:34:37.059 She chose the very best ones and she's excited about being mentioned on the show. 01:34:37.960 --> 01:34:38.861 You're in trouble now. 01:34:39.983 --> 01:34:42.025 You're going to get all kinds of repercussions from that. 01:34:42.425 --> 01:34:43.046 Thank you so much. 01:34:43.086 --> 01:34:44.787 Don't forget to tune in for the podcast. 01:34:44.807 --> 01:34:48.470 It'll be available to download on Monday evening or Tuesday morning. 01:34:48.811 --> 01:34:50.652 Thanks, Michael Sophocles for phoning back. 01:34:50.952 --> 01:34:53.174 Not stay tuned for Liz Kershaw. 01:34:53.194 --> 01:34:54.435 We'll see you next week. 01:34:54.475 --> 01:34:54.816 Take care. 01:34:54.836 --> 01:34:54.996 Bye.