We've got people like Madness, who of course have licensed many of their tracks for adverts, but they've got so many peaches in their locker.
Well, then they were around for a long time before they did that.
You want to let your band settle in and get credulous, don't you, before or credible, is the word?
Yeah.
Before you start selling out.
That was our mistake, Adam.
Yeah, that's true, isn't it?
Shouldn't have done those virgin adverts.
What was your greatest hit then?
What was your big early hit?
We didn't have any hits at all.
We were lucky to get any advertising.
Come on.
We had the football song.
Yeah.
That was released on a compilation.
Ball, ball, ball, footy, footy, footy.
You remember that one, man, surely.
They still use that on Sky Sports, I think.
I've got about 30 white label 12 inches at home of that.
Every now and again I get a royalty check through for 14p.
The guy said he was going to slip it to DJs in clubs.
He was convinced it was going to be a big hit.
There was a house mix, wasn't there?
That's right, yeah.
It basically took all our vocals out and was just a thumping beat.
Didn't take off.
I still get royalty checks for Singapore for £2.15 as well.
I know, it's really embarrassing.
Every time it comes to the dollar, once a month, there's my missus going, oh, here we go.
Maybe a holiday, maybe a nice meal out, maybe a hotel or something.
We should remind listeners that Matt used to be in the band menswear.
Yes.
So that was my one big.
So Matt.
It's not that big.
Is that all the music news you've got for us?
I mean, that was a good bulletin.
There's more exciting stuff happening across the whole day.
I believe there's talk of Claxon's playing a surprise show somewhere at some point.
That's going to be quite exciting.
What about Docherty?
Has he done his show already?
No, he's playing around four o'clock on the other stage.
At least that's the idea.
He's not very punctual, is he?
Yeah, he's slightly tardy.
So I think I'll make it on stage.
Joe was telling me some fun facts about his rider.
Didn't you hear something about his rider?
Well, we made contact with three individuals who look after the bands backstage at the other stage and we're hoping to make contact with them and do an interview, but they were telling us all about the demands that had been placed on them.
And they said that Pete Doherty still uses the same rider as he used in the Libertines.
So he actually can't be bothered to pick up a pen and rewrite it.
And we're thinking, maybe this is one of his problems.
And the Libertines rider obviously was fairly lager heavy, as you can imagine.
So maybe every time he tries to get off the wagon, he turns up at a gig and goes... Oh no, it's the rider again.
I suppose I'll have it.
Thanks very much.
But listen, next time, only Evian.
Thank you.
Bye.
So maybe we've got to the root of his problems.
This could be a historic Glastonbury.
We could fix that.
We could rewrite it for him.
Yeah.
But we'll have reports from that.
If he goes on stage, what time he goes on stage, we'll let you know.
We'll give you a little review of I'm sure he's in very good health.
Thanks a lot for coming in, Matt.
It's a pleasure to speak to you, as always.
Here's some madness after a little trip.
How are you doing?
I'm good, thanks.
Hey Lauren, hey how is it in the world of television?
We remember being on television.
What's it like on television?
Well it's awesome.
You were on our television programme yesterday.
Yeah, you were like top of the show talking about the first thing you do when you get on site and your essentials that you pack for Glastonbury.
Yes, crikey.
You were on it.
There we go.
Don't even bring your false majesty to this table.
That was something we pre-recorded in London a few weeks ago.
I don't think we're allowed on live television anymore, that's the thing.
Was there an incident?
It was a little complicated.
Let's not talk about it.
So have you had a good festival so far Lauren?
Have you managed to see any acts?
Really good yeah.
I mean actually I arrived yesterday and didn't get to see anyone because I saw you and then I went hello Jo and then they went get into makeup now you're on telly in a minute.
So last night I sort of saw people third hand and sort of saw a bit of Neil Young you know through the curtains from the back
when you're on telly you don't see the bands the bands come and see you right well exactly this is the right way around but no i mean i have seen i popped out to see tenari went today because they were they were sort of in my schedule they're on the growing stage right now they've just been on now they've just been on they were really good i don't know much about them tell me about them
They're, I think, a non-et, a nine piece, Harran Bushman, they just did a project with Tong, who Adam must probably like.
I like Tong, do you like them?
I'm the one that likes Tong.
Sorry, so yes, they just did a live tour with them and they were doing all this improvisational, folky slash Bushman type stuff.
Tong do that song that goes, Jenny?
Jenny, do you know that one?
They've got these weird little sort of samples.
Back to the early 80s samples in them, it's a bit disturbing.
It's nice, it's kind of clicky and cuty folk.
Yeah, exactly.
And isn't one of the, how do you pronounce it again?
Tonaroan?
Tonaroan, yeah.
Is he the guy that plays the big spherical pot thing?
It must be.
I didn't see him, but that sounds right.
I mean, they're in the fold here.
They're head wraps and everything.
It's so good for this weather because it's absolutely boiling.
So I'm standing out there, virtually an albino, front of stage, frying.
No SPFs on.
I don't recommend them at home.
And they had the robes on, and I thought, that's what I need.
I need a proper Sahara robe to keep the glare off.
Why didn't you have any sunscreen on?
I just haven't had time.
I just got here, no time.
You don't not use sunscreen because you're worried about nanomolecules.
No, I'm not.
What's nanomolecules?
I'll get you worried about them after the show.
Really?
Well, in the sunscreen, there's deadly stuff.
Yeah.
There's some sort of new nanoparticles that scientists don't know how they behave.
It's the spray on ones, mainly.
Right.
And not only do they get in the skin, but they get through the skin into the muscle.
They sink.
Are they saying this on the radio?
Because people are going to be freaking the hell out.
I read it in the paper, it must be true, right?
They sink in on a molecular level.
It was a board sheet, yeah.
Well, I read about- A name to fear with your DNA.
Adam Buxton said that, we're speculating.
We haven't mentioned any brand names yet.
I read about wallabies breaking into poppy fields and then making crop circles in the times yesterday because they're so high.
But you know, you can't always even trust the broadsheets.
Surely that can't be true, is it?
No, of course it's true.
There's a lot of that going on in Glastonbury today, actually, isn't there?
It's not wallabies, it's just wallies.
Oh, geez.
Wallabies.
Nice.
Thanks very much.
So Lauren, you're going to be with us now for the next hour, right?
Indeed so.
In fact, you're sort of going to be driving things and Jo and myself might wander around a little bit.
We're going to go roving.
That'd be fun.
It's a really good idea.
Have you got one of those awesome backpacks that look like they came from the Second World War that they give you at the BBC?
Really?
We're going to, yeah, cross our streams.
Oh, brilliant.
Hostbusters.
Head to the library straight away and free the little library ghost.
So yeah, so stay tuned, listeners.
Lauren's going to be with us for the night.
And then are you doing the show after us?
Yes, I'm just, I'm just here.
I'm living in this little.
She's broadcasting nonstop.
Here's some ting tings live from last night.
The brilliant white lies and death.
God, I don't know.
How does that noise come out of them?
They're such nice bees.
How does that work?
Little sweeties, join me in the studio if you're just tuned in with Lauren Laverne.
I'm just behind the pyramid stage at Glastonbury.
It's a glorious Saturday afternoon and things are going on all over the site of God.
Of course we're bringing you 24-7 coverage here on 6 Music.
Well, exciting news.
Eagles of Death Metal will just be kicking off their set on the Pyramid Stage.
I can actually feel the thrum through the souls of my wellingtons as I speak to you.
We've also got Rolf Harris who's just drawn to a close at the Jazz World.
Couldn't make it over for that, tragically.
But I imagine he'll have his little wobble board tucked under his arm and be making his way back.
God love him.
And Stornoway are up at the acoustic.
So I'm not sure where among all that Adam and Jo are, but they're somewhere with a large backpack on, hopefully talking to us rather shortly.
Adam and Jo, hello, where are you?
Hello, Lauren, can you hear us?
I can hear you, Jo, so whereabouts are you?
It sounds busy.
We are on top of the charge and chill area, which is where everyone gets their mobile phones charged.
It's chill and charge, actually, Joe.
You're an idiot.
Oh, I got it the wrong way round.
Chill and charge.
So who's chilling?
Who's charging?
What's occurring?
Well there's loads of people queuing.
I think a lot of people spend most of their time at the festival either queuing for ATMs or queuing to get their phones charged and we've been doing a certain amount of texting haven't we here at the festival Adam and there's a bit of a backlog sometimes you send a text like four o'clock on one day and then you get the reply the next morning
Yes.
Just get there for a while.
It's a weird scene though in the chill and charge area.
Basically what it is is lots of tables and then in the center of each table is a kind of a box that contains various, you know, charging cords.
So you can find the box that has the cord you need for your phone.
And then you just have to sit there with all lots of other people who are charging their phones.
So I guess it's a nice way of networking, although no one really seems to be speaking to each other that much.
Guys, can I come in here and say, you know, in the old days, in Glastonbury of Yore, before the mobile phone was invented, the bit where you had to leave messages for your friends because you'd lost them was quite a kind of creative hub, wasn't it?
Because there was a massive notice board.
I don't know if either of you two remember or came.
But then everybody would leave messages like, I will be up.
at the stone circle at three o'clock on Sunday.
Come and meet me, I have your tent or whatever.
And people would get quite creative.
Is there that sense of connectivity in the chill and charge lounge?
No, no.
No, there isn't, no.
So as Adam says, it's people in their techno bubble.
That's not true.
Everyone's chatting away.
Sterile husk of a human experience.
Yeah, no, no, it's lovely and everyone's on their little laptops and yeah, it's very, it's kind of like new age techno hippiness.
I feel like I should be putting a little bit of future folk underneath you.
It's like some kind of advert that will probably make me really angry if it was on telling.
I tell you the other thing that's kicking off here, Lauren, just to bring you the latest news, the sun has come out, it's very hot, so a lot of men's shirts have come off.
Right.
And there's an extraordinary display of British man boob everywhere.
You look every sort of male breast and tummy of all shapes and sizes.
Where do you two stand on that?
Will you be derobing at any point?
Well, it's just a bit too sexual when I disrobe, and it causes various sexy shockwaves, so I've been advised by the BBC Trust not to.
Dr. Sexy has to give an official warning.
In fact, we were given t-shirts by a couple of ladies from the shelter charity yesterday, and the woman looked at me and said... The job appeal ones?
Yeah, she looked at me and they wanted to take a photo of us with them.
She looked at me as I was putting mine on and said, oh no, put it over your t-shirt, I don't want to see your nipples.
She said without prompting.
How could she not want to see your nipples Jo?
There are some things you see that you can't unsee.
Hey Lauren, just as we were leaving before before we conclude our chat this time as we were leaving the BBC compound Who was trying to get in and having quite a hard time doing so because the security guards didn't think he had the correct pass It was Damon Albarn
from Blur.
Blur are on site already, ready, getting set for their headlining slot tomorrow evening.
But the security guys looked like they were taking a certain amount of pleasure from checking that he had the right pass.
And Albarn looked absolutely thundery.
He wasn't really enjoying... He takes no prisoners, that man.
And he was, he stopped himself.
I was impressed that he didn't say, do you know who I am?
Because he did have an amazing looking lamina on with like triple A, I can go wherever I want because I rule this whole place written all over it, you know, but he didn't say like, do you know who I am?
I'm flipping headlining this thing tomorrow evening.
I run you.
He was pretty polite about it, but he didn't look that pleased.
Oh my goodness.
Anyway, he's in the compound.
Well I'm excited.
Do you two think that we are likely to get a Michael Jackson cover from Blur tonight?
Because that's what I think I've got my fingers crossed for and I suppose lots of people have.
I'd love to see them do blame it on the buggy.
I'd love to see that.
They could easily put, surely they would have a bit of Jacko in their locker you would think.
I would like to see Old Barn moonwalking.
And I was betting yesterday with a friend that he was practising yesterday.
I thought he's gonna... And if not him, then definitely Alex James could do a bit of move walking.
I think it would be appropriate.
With the sort of flippy head that he does at the same time would be awesome.
Listen, guys, we're gonna catch up with you in a bit.
Thank you very much.
For now, I'll leave you to both chill and charge.
Thanks, Lauren.
Bye.
OK, bye.
So that's Adam and Jo out on site for us as our roving reporters.
This is live from the whip on the other stage.