WEBVTT 00:01.733 --> 00:02.915 to myself. 00:03.395 --> 00:08.742 But now it's Adam and Jo. 00:10.444 --> 00:12.867 Hello and welcome to the big British castle. 00:25.126 --> 00:25.947 That's Prince! 00:27.308 --> 00:27.989 What are you chuckling at? 00:28.009 --> 00:28.570 Are you chuckling at Prince? 00:28.590 --> 00:43.445 Because, um, listeners today we've got a new producer, not a new producer, in fact a gentleman we worked with years ago called Ben, he's very brilliant, but just before we came on there he started doing a kind of thing as if we were in aliens and on the dropship going down to the alien planet. 00:43.686 --> 00:44.567 Okay, okay, mic's up! 00:44.747 --> 00:45.548 Get ready, three seconds! 00:45.748 --> 00:46.569 Stand by, mic's up! 00:47.249 --> 00:50.573 As if it was like, you know, a moment of critical importance. 00:51.133 --> 00:52.915 As if it was like broadcast news. 00:52.975 --> 00:53.315 Yeah. 00:53.516 --> 00:55.578 Your Holly Hunter and I. As if we were William Hurt. 00:55.618 --> 00:59.141 Professional and we really cared profoundly, which we do, obviously. 00:59.221 --> 00:59.441 Yeah. 00:59.742 --> 01:01.523 But we like to... Well, we care profoundly. 01:01.543 --> 01:02.945 I wouldn't say that we're professional. 01:02.985 --> 01:04.206 No, no, no, that's true. 01:04.767 --> 01:04.927 So... 01:05.387 --> 01:06.388 Anyway, morning listeners. 01:06.629 --> 01:07.189 Hey, how are you doing? 01:07.210 --> 01:07.710 This is Adam. 01:07.970 --> 01:08.691 Hey, this is Joe. 01:08.751 --> 01:09.552 Thanks for joining us. 01:09.973 --> 01:11.936 I've got a new idea for a segment. 01:12.256 --> 01:12.636 Have you? 01:12.656 --> 01:14.499 Yeah, it would be this. 01:14.559 --> 01:20.647 It's a bit like, you know, on GMTV when they would send Keith Chegwin out to doorstep people first thing in the morning. 01:21.047 --> 01:22.108 Was it on GMTV? 01:22.268 --> 01:22.788 Something like that. 01:22.828 --> 01:24.169 It was on one of those breakfast shows. 01:24.189 --> 01:25.590 Big breakfast, maybe you're right. 01:26.210 --> 01:30.553 I thought maybe I could present the show from in a listener's bed. 01:30.953 --> 01:31.854 That's a nice idea. 01:31.974 --> 01:33.254 Would you get to choose the listener? 01:33.375 --> 01:33.595 Yeah. 01:33.815 --> 01:35.876 They would send in photographs and you would vet them. 01:35.916 --> 01:36.156 Yeah. 01:36.356 --> 01:37.337 And you would basically sleep. 01:37.657 --> 01:39.098 I would go round there on Friday. 01:39.118 --> 01:40.119 No, I would sleep with them. 01:40.139 --> 01:41.700 You'd sleep with them. 01:41.940 --> 01:43.781 But in the, you know, not in the dirty sense. 01:43.881 --> 01:44.721 No, in the strictest sense. 01:44.741 --> 01:45.562 Unless they were lucky. 01:45.862 --> 01:47.163 Yeah, so you're really lucky. 01:47.463 --> 01:54.747 Uh, but I'd go around there on Friday night and we'd watch Telly, you know, we'd watch Jonathan Ross, then a bit of later, and we'd have a hot toddy. 01:54.968 --> 01:56.849 Would you do your Jules Holland impression for them? 01:57.169 --> 01:58.310 Yeah, I'd do whatever they wanted. 01:58.510 --> 01:58.810 Yeah. 01:58.970 --> 02:00.251 And then I'd get into bed with them. 02:00.331 --> 02:02.192 Oh, that is hot toddy, ladies and gentlemen, hot toddy. 02:03.086 --> 02:04.586 cut to the beginning of the show. 02:05.067 --> 02:07.347 I'd get into bed with them and then we'd sleep together. 02:08.047 --> 02:10.088 And then the alarm would go off about 10 to 9. 02:10.268 --> 02:11.568 Oh, that would be nice. 02:12.208 --> 02:13.969 And then you'd have to be in here. 02:14.009 --> 02:14.469 You'd get up. 02:14.509 --> 02:16.770 You'd have to come in, do all the business. 02:17.210 --> 02:19.070 I'd just be in bed nude. 02:19.150 --> 02:20.491 I would be nude with the listeners. 02:20.871 --> 02:24.432 And then I'd do the show from my mobile phone over my mobile phone. 02:24.812 --> 02:25.232 That's brilliant. 02:25.252 --> 02:27.693 You've thought it all through and you're entirely comfortable about all this. 02:27.713 --> 02:28.913 You don't think it's weird at all. 02:30.293 --> 02:31.394 I don't think it's weird. 02:31.434 --> 02:33.655 And you don't think the listeners would feel it was strange? 02:33.715 --> 02:34.155 I don't know. 02:34.195 --> 02:35.335 We'll see what their response is. 02:35.375 --> 02:38.496 I mean, maybe we can set it up for next week or the week after. 02:38.596 --> 02:42.998 I think it would be very innovative and I think it would get us awards. 02:43.258 --> 02:53.222 And you're not concerned that maybe there's some kind of big British castle guideline about having like a naked man in the bed of a stranger. 02:53.962 --> 02:55.843 Well, possibly, but I think it could be overcome. 02:56.363 --> 02:56.543 Right. 02:57.143 --> 03:00.184 I think public opinion would soon demolish that prejudice. 03:00.364 --> 03:01.304 That's a good idea. 03:01.484 --> 03:02.225 It's just an idea. 03:02.265 --> 03:03.205 I just thought I'd float it. 03:03.525 --> 03:04.045 Oh, thank you. 03:04.085 --> 03:04.945 It's a lovely floater. 03:05.886 --> 03:07.426 Have you got a command for Black Squadron? 03:07.566 --> 03:08.406 You know what I do? 03:08.426 --> 03:09.407 Oh, excellent. 03:10.087 --> 03:11.327 I've got a choice of commands. 03:11.387 --> 03:13.108 Okay, I know which one I think this is. 03:13.128 --> 03:14.988 Still haven't come up with a new Jingle Black Squadron. 03:15.008 --> 03:19.770 I'm working on it, but the other jingles are just so irritating that we're not even going to play them this week, right? 03:19.790 --> 03:20.550 You have to imagine them. 03:21.611 --> 03:27.217 So, Black Squadron, you are stood to attention, ready to receive your command from Admiral Cornballs. 03:27.457 --> 03:30.080 This is of course a photo challenge, Black Squadron. 03:30.100 --> 03:33.765 We challenge you to take a photo on the following theme and email it to us. 03:34.145 --> 03:35.386 What's the email number, Adam? 03:36.147 --> 03:37.508 Adam and... No, no. 03:37.548 --> 03:39.109 What's the text number, Adam? 03:39.129 --> 03:39.109 64046. 03:40.450 --> 03:40.731 Yeah. 03:40.831 --> 03:42.252 What's the email address? 03:42.372 --> 03:50.098 Email address Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk Yeah, there's no prize. 03:50.138 --> 03:51.219 It's not a competition. 03:51.259 --> 03:51.439 No. 03:51.779 --> 03:52.540 Just a fun event. 03:53.160 --> 03:54.321 So stand by Black Squadron. 03:54.722 --> 03:59.427 You have the duration of the following record to carry out your command and send in your photo. 03:59.788 --> 04:00.549 Your theme this week. 04:00.569 --> 04:01.049 Are we ready then? 04:01.770 --> 04:08.978 Incidentally, as soon as Joe issues the command, we are going to fire off 11th Dimension, the new single by Julian Casablancas of the strokes. 04:09.299 --> 04:11.982 But here now is the Black Squadron command. 04:12.262 --> 04:35.213 standby black squadron your command this week is toast bracelets i think we might have confused black squadron by not playing them they're jingle you reckon yeah i think it's a bit like the manchurian candidate they need oh look at that no here's a very good one from kate bolting that's an extraordinary very good toast bracelets that one's even got jam on it and they're saluting now that's good i was worried there 04:35.973 --> 04:38.795 There's a gentleman in what looks like his two children there. 04:38.855 --> 04:39.775 That's extraordinary. 04:40.276 --> 04:43.278 Very, very good performance there from the building squadron. 04:43.818 --> 04:44.158 Very good. 04:44.458 --> 04:47.540 And have last week's Black Squadron photos been put on the blog? 04:47.760 --> 04:48.381 They have, yeah. 04:48.421 --> 04:53.364 If you want to see the Black Squadron gallery, you can go... It's not on our blog, is it? 04:53.404 --> 04:56.166 I think it's on the original Six Music Adam and Jo website. 04:56.186 --> 04:57.346 But there's a link from the blog. 04:57.366 --> 04:58.707 There's a link from the blog, yeah. 04:58.767 --> 04:59.528 And it's extraordinary. 04:59.568 --> 05:00.768 There's so many of them. 05:00.788 --> 05:01.469 About 124. 05:02.109 --> 05:02.830 Incredible. 05:03.270 --> 05:04.331 What was last week's command? 05:04.371 --> 05:04.711 I forget. 05:05.591 --> 05:06.412 Was it poltergeist? 05:06.432 --> 05:07.392 No, that was the week before. 05:07.592 --> 05:09.753 It was closed backwards. 05:09.813 --> 05:10.614 Backwards closed. 05:10.654 --> 05:11.014 That's right. 05:11.034 --> 05:11.674 It was a good one. 05:11.734 --> 05:12.314 It was a good one. 05:12.334 --> 05:13.635 And there's some amazing photos. 05:13.675 --> 05:15.055 When are we going to do just nudity? 05:15.576 --> 05:16.536 We're building up to that. 05:16.596 --> 05:17.156 Yeah. 05:17.216 --> 05:20.518 The final week of our tenure on six musics. 05:20.878 --> 05:26.641 When we get other jobs or decide to leave, we're going to do a really shocking black squadron. 05:26.721 --> 05:27.121 Come on. 05:28.082 --> 05:30.124 And for which we'll get instantly fired. 05:30.264 --> 05:30.745 That's right. 05:30.885 --> 05:34.329 But we will amass a massive collection of very strong photographs. 05:34.349 --> 05:36.472 Get these sick jocks off the air. 05:38.574 --> 05:39.435 That's what's going to happen. 05:39.856 --> 05:46.223 I mean, what would be the word we could say for the Black Squadron command that would instantly get us fired? 05:46.824 --> 06:15.100 cover of all the national newspapers some kind of no don't say anything domestic animal well listen have you seen how are you on virals do you like getting virals when people send you virals the one i've enjoyed this week is the clip from Roland Emmerich's forthcoming twin film 2012 oh yeah there's a 10-minute extraordinary 10-minute clip of that online with all disaster stuff and someone's taken out all the disaster footage so it's just the acting and it's very funny and very short i would imagine pretty short yeah i've enjoyed that one this week but you know by and large 06:15.840 --> 06:16.380 Not really. 06:16.520 --> 06:16.940 Oh, really? 06:17.241 --> 06:21.902 Yeah, my heart doesn't soar when a new link comes through from someone I barely know. 06:21.962 --> 06:23.223 I get up and start dancing. 06:23.483 --> 06:24.623 To you. 06:24.983 --> 06:26.184 A new nutty viral. 06:26.444 --> 06:27.424 You'll never believe this! 06:27.624 --> 06:28.524 Actually, no, that's not true. 06:28.564 --> 06:29.885 It doesn't happen very often in our house. 06:30.465 --> 06:34.246 But my wife bounded over to me one evening and said, have you seen this? 06:34.446 --> 06:36.287 Because she doesn't get virals very often, I don't think. 06:36.847 --> 06:37.568 Viruses, yes. 06:37.688 --> 06:39.068 But virals, no. 06:39.388 --> 06:41.629 And so she opened up her computer. 06:41.649 --> 06:42.229 She was dead excited. 06:42.249 --> 06:43.950 She said, I don't know if this is real or not. 06:44.190 --> 06:44.430 Right. 06:48.231 --> 06:49.912 I was already thinking, well, it's probably not real. 06:51.333 --> 06:52.513 And she said, have a look at this. 06:52.913 --> 06:54.774 You've got to read all the text first, she says, right? 06:54.914 --> 06:56.634 It's like she's never seen one of these things before. 06:57.155 --> 07:02.437 And so basically it was all about this couple who had been out on holiday with their son. 07:02.817 --> 07:06.998 They'd been scuba diving and they'd said, and they have an underwater camera. 07:07.018 --> 07:10.980 They said to the son, can you take a picture of mum and dad underwater with our scuba gear on? 07:11.500 --> 07:13.482 The sun goes to take their picture. 07:13.502 --> 07:13.862 Can I guess? 07:14.363 --> 07:14.823 Yeah, go on. 07:15.043 --> 07:17.165 Massive shark approaching behind them. 07:17.585 --> 07:17.786 Yeah. 07:18.006 --> 07:18.606 Is that what it was? 07:18.646 --> 07:18.786 Yeah. 07:19.007 --> 07:19.207 Right. 07:19.567 --> 07:20.188 Massive shark. 07:20.628 --> 07:25.973 And so there's this whole story about how he's gesticulating and mum and dad are saying, Karen, just take the picture afterwards. 07:26.013 --> 07:26.773 He shows them the picture. 07:26.793 --> 07:27.754 He goes, weren't you freaked out? 07:27.774 --> 07:28.575 And they're like, what do you mean? 07:28.835 --> 07:30.156 He says, look, look at the picture. 07:30.196 --> 07:33.399 There's a famous photo of someone standing on top of the Twin Towers. 07:33.699 --> 07:34.019 That's right. 07:34.039 --> 07:35.841 With a plane right over his shoulder. 07:35.961 --> 07:36.221 Yeah. 07:36.301 --> 07:38.143 There were lots of faked ones like that, weren't there? 07:38.243 --> 07:42.428 That was, I mean, I remember when that one came out, it was so shocking that I just thought, who would fake this up anyway? 07:42.748 --> 07:47.113 But this is slightly different, this one is more sort of sweet, but it is obviously fake. 07:47.133 --> 07:49.315 Like, it's an absolutely giant shock, right? 07:49.656 --> 07:50.697 For the one from George. 07:50.757 --> 07:53.159 Yeah, no, it's like the one from Finding Nemo. 07:53.320 --> 07:53.520 Right. 07:53.760 --> 07:55.302 You know, I'm not animated. 07:55.682 --> 07:56.743 It's not actually animated. 07:57.003 --> 08:02.588 It's a decent Photoshop job of this couple kind of doing the thumbs up in their scuba gear with this enormous shock. 08:02.989 --> 08:06.152 And so I sort of laughed and my wife said, do you think it's real? 08:06.192 --> 08:07.313 I said, no, it's not real. 08:07.333 --> 08:08.734 She said, well, how do you know? 08:08.754 --> 08:11.076 We just laugh and say, no, it's not real. 08:11.096 --> 08:11.557 How do you know? 08:11.577 --> 08:13.999 I said, well, look at the size of the shot. 08:14.019 --> 08:15.340 It's an absolutely huge shot. 08:15.360 --> 08:18.383 If that shot really, if that picture had been taken, that would be on the news. 08:19.124 --> 08:20.405 She said, that's your logic, is it? 08:20.465 --> 08:21.466 That it would be on the news. 08:22.826 --> 08:24.167 And I was like, why are you getting angry? 08:24.247 --> 08:25.648 Are you upset because it's not real? 08:25.668 --> 08:26.389 Listen, I'm sorry. 08:26.869 --> 08:27.609 Maybe it's real. 08:27.689 --> 08:28.690 I don't think it is real. 08:29.250 --> 08:33.153 And we had a little tension exchange about the fact that I poo-pooed the viral. 08:33.713 --> 08:36.615 But she was outraged that my logic was it would have been on the news. 08:37.196 --> 08:39.097 Yeah, that is weird logic. 08:40.134 --> 08:40.614 Good evening. 08:40.634 --> 08:41.935 This is the news. 08:42.535 --> 08:43.696 Couple almost eaten. 08:43.776 --> 08:46.057 You'll never believe this picture coming up. 08:48.458 --> 08:51.759 I mean, if the news covered stuff like that, it's all they have on the news. 08:51.779 --> 08:53.560 If that was a real picture, that would have been the news. 08:53.600 --> 08:53.980 I'm divided. 08:54.000 --> 08:55.081 I'm half with your wife. 08:55.681 --> 08:57.622 I mean, frankly, you both come across as idiots. 09:00.174 --> 09:04.078 Have a look at the feature and we'll respond to it after after a couple of songs. 09:04.299 --> 09:05.960 Here's a free play for you right now listeners. 09:06.221 --> 09:12.467 Now we're big fans of Uros Childs, ex of Gorky's Zygotic Monkey, and he's got a new album. 09:12.547 --> 09:14.009 I don't know if it's out or if it's coming out. 09:14.089 --> 09:15.631 It's called Son of Eurochild. 09:16.392 --> 09:19.715 And this is, I mean, it's quite a nutty album, right? 09:20.316 --> 09:21.357 Well, he's quite prolific. 09:21.597 --> 09:21.998 isn't he? 09:22.038 --> 09:30.364 He turns out lots of stuff and he's quite experimental and I suppose at his most accessible he's beautifully sort of wistful and you know, folk-y. 09:30.644 --> 09:32.506 This sounds like... He's a little more experimental on this one. 09:32.586 --> 09:35.368 Yeah, it sounds like kind of outsider art, you know. 09:36.809 --> 09:37.670 Which one have you chosen? 09:37.690 --> 09:40.912 Because I was flicking through it thinking which one... Like this then try this. 09:41.693 --> 09:50.482 You know, which is a thing that he's correctly identified as being an annoying thing about modern society, is people kind of pre-programming you and trying to guess your tastes and sell you... Genius button. 09:51.103 --> 09:52.064 Genius button, right. 09:52.504 --> 09:57.149 So this is a kind of mad song about that, which ends up with a really pleasing refrain of him just sort of going, 09:57.369 --> 09:58.510 Do you like telephones? 09:58.770 --> 09:59.790 I like telephones. 10:00.010 --> 10:01.131 Do you like mayonnaise? 10:01.391 --> 10:02.371 I like mayonnaise. 10:03.051 --> 10:03.792 Hope you enjoy this. 10:04.172 --> 10:06.133 Like this, then try this by Uros Childs. 10:06.673 --> 10:09.674 A little enjoyable slice of dementia there from Uros Childs. 10:09.754 --> 10:10.775 Like this, then try this. 10:11.375 --> 10:13.776 We're just having a look at the picture of the shark. 10:13.796 --> 10:19.479 Yeah, a guy called Rob Evans, thank you Rob, has sent in the photo in question and also the source photo from which it was taken. 10:19.519 --> 10:21.279 Joe was impressed by the photoshop job. 10:21.319 --> 10:26.682 Yeah, it's an unusually good blending of this photo of a shark and the two divers. 10:27.162 --> 10:30.004 But Joe was chuckling at the notion that it would be on the news. 10:30.524 --> 10:31.245 It wouldn't! 10:31.385 --> 10:34.046 Look at the size of the shark! 10:34.227 --> 10:35.648 Well, it should be on the news. 10:35.668 --> 10:37.809 Usually the news is dominated by grim stuff. 10:37.829 --> 10:40.571 But if that photo was real, that would be on the news. 10:41.191 --> 10:43.713 If I was running, if I was producing a decent news program. 10:44.193 --> 10:45.674 Rather than this shoddy news programme. 10:45.694 --> 10:47.555 Right, and this rubbish news programme. 10:47.595 --> 10:49.876 That would be my top story, my lead story. 10:51.177 --> 10:52.397 Well, it would be a better world. 10:52.938 --> 10:57.000 I pointed out to Adam that it could just be in SeaWorld or some safe environment. 10:57.020 --> 10:59.381 They do not have sharks that size in SeaWorld. 10:59.401 --> 11:00.922 But then it all started kicking off again. 11:00.942 --> 11:02.462 It was like being your wife. 11:02.603 --> 11:05.164 I would like to hear from a shark expert. 11:05.444 --> 11:07.886 Can you tell me, shark expert, have a look at the viral picture. 11:07.926 --> 11:11.929 All you do is search for shark, scuba couple, whatever, and you'll find it pretty quickly. 11:11.949 --> 11:12.870 Scuba shark. 11:12.970 --> 11:13.631 Scuba shark. 11:13.691 --> 11:14.171 It's cool. 11:14.552 --> 11:22.238 And tell me if you know anything about sharks, whether, if that pit was real, right, would that not be like the biggest shark ever? 11:22.438 --> 11:24.520 Sharks that size don't wander around. 11:24.540 --> 11:26.161 Would that be in your script for the news? 11:26.281 --> 11:26.622 Yes! 11:27.302 --> 11:30.143 And later, is this like the biggest shark ever? 11:30.303 --> 11:31.684 We'll be talking to an expert. 11:32.224 --> 11:34.565 That's what the news will be like in the future. 11:34.945 --> 11:36.585 And you'll probably be reading it as well. 11:36.665 --> 11:39.826 Terrifying glimpse into it. 11:39.846 --> 11:40.987 Something to look forward to. 11:41.327 --> 11:42.047 Here's a trail. 11:42.287 --> 11:42.827 Very nice. 11:42.987 --> 11:44.148 Well done, Björk. 11:44.528 --> 11:45.448 That's Human Behaviour. 11:45.488 --> 11:47.669 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music. 11:48.349 --> 11:49.850 Nice to have you along. 11:50.330 --> 11:53.511 Now we received a message from Tim Phillips a couple of weeks back. 11:53.912 --> 12:04.677 He says, Dear Adam and Jo, this week I was speaking at a conference about music piracy and counterfeiting, which was attended by police from 40 countries and the head of Interpol. 12:05.037 --> 12:07.618 Wow, so he's like a serious grown-up man, Tim Phillips. 12:07.998 --> 12:08.318 Well done. 12:08.798 --> 12:14.542 It had been a serious morning with a lot of presentations about organized crime and I was on just after lunch. 12:14.822 --> 12:23.506 So I thought I'd lighten the mood and give everyone a good laugh at themselves by playing a bit from Adam's piracy song that he did from Salt for Song Wars. 12:24.067 --> 12:30.270 I started my presentation by playing the bit where he sings about how the music industry people make up the piracy figures. 12:30.750 --> 12:34.092 Here's a little clip just to remind you if you haven't heard this song before. 12:36.857 --> 12:42.413 I guess the world is changing I don't like it, that's the way it is 13:11.315 --> 13:11.915 So there you go. 13:11.955 --> 13:13.595 Can we be sure that's the bit he played? 13:13.915 --> 13:14.716 I'm pretty certain. 13:14.736 --> 13:16.216 To the entire Interpol. 13:16.776 --> 13:22.137 He says, I think I misjudged the mood because instead of a big laugh there was just an awkward silence. 13:22.557 --> 13:23.937 Does anyone listen to Adam and Jo? 13:23.997 --> 13:24.958 I asked cheerfully. 13:25.258 --> 13:26.298 Everyone just stared at me. 13:27.878 --> 13:30.139 Who was in the audience then? 13:30.219 --> 13:35.480 Police from 40 countries and the head of Interpol at this conference about music piracy. 13:36.660 --> 13:38.341 That's amazing. 13:38.361 --> 13:39.542 Were you fired, Tim? 13:40.082 --> 13:40.643 Immediately. 13:40.683 --> 13:44.605 Were you immediately pulled up by your collar and fired? 13:44.966 --> 13:45.506 I hope so. 13:45.726 --> 13:53.931 We do enjoy getting emails about people who for some insane reason use the show in some kind of educative or like official way. 13:53.951 --> 13:59.695 Like we had someone who was, we occasionally get students who do essays or something based on the show. 13:59.975 --> 14:02.057 Yes, theses, theses. 14:02.117 --> 14:12.847 Yeah, we had, I think, someone who was training, was it people in the Turkish army or something to speak English, and he was using the show to teach soldiers English. 14:13.147 --> 14:15.129 I mean, that just seems terrifying thought. 14:15.249 --> 14:16.410 Absolutely ridiculous. 14:16.430 --> 14:17.110 For future wars. 14:18.392 --> 14:20.894 But Interpol, though, I mean, that's insane. 14:21.174 --> 14:24.037 Surely, they don't really have much of a sense of humor about themselves anyway. 14:24.577 --> 14:27.179 and about piracy and counterfeiting, do you think? 14:27.439 --> 14:28.640 There can't be a lot of chuckles at those conferences. 14:28.660 --> 14:33.684 They're not known for their sense of humour or irony or powers of discretion, really. 14:33.764 --> 14:36.026 No, so Tim, you were really sticking your neck out there. 14:36.186 --> 14:37.547 Yeah, a brave man, well done. 14:37.687 --> 14:38.728 Thinking that was going to go down well. 14:38.748 --> 14:40.029 Be some kind of medal for Tim, shouldn't there? 14:40.209 --> 14:40.549 Yeah. 14:40.789 --> 14:44.332 Or maybe he could have a kind of a Black Squadron rank shift, you know? 14:44.432 --> 14:47.034 Some kind of... Like a gold idiot hole badge. 14:47.134 --> 14:47.454 Yes. 14:48.535 --> 14:49.596 Like a really shiny one. 14:49.636 --> 14:51.117 Would that be something he'd wear with pride? 14:51.357 --> 14:51.897 I think so. 14:51.937 --> 14:53.719 If he's going to play... We've discussed that before, haven't we? 14:53.739 --> 14:55.580 Like the blue Peter badges they used to give out. 14:55.720 --> 14:56.020 Yeah. 14:56.040 --> 14:58.902 Remember you used to get a white one, a blue one, a silver one, and a gold one. 14:59.002 --> 15:00.403 Nice laminated thing we need. 15:00.423 --> 15:00.643 Yeah. 15:00.943 --> 15:01.364 Laminated? 15:01.424 --> 15:02.284 No, I don't mean laminated. 15:02.324 --> 15:04.526 I mean, um... It could be laminated, Adam. 15:04.786 --> 15:06.267 I think it should be laminated. 15:06.367 --> 15:07.708 It would be gold. 15:07.768 --> 15:10.209 We could probably put it through a laminate machine. 15:10.229 --> 15:10.450 Yeah. 15:10.830 --> 15:11.830 Is it time for the news now? 15:12.011 --> 15:12.271 It is. 15:12.311 --> 15:13.131 It's 9.30 and here is the news. 15:14.372 --> 15:17.716 That was White Winter Hymnal by FleetFoxes. 15:17.736 --> 15:20.199 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC 6 Music. 15:32.974 --> 15:35.897 Don't go thinking that it's just some randomly concocted command. 15:35.937 --> 15:39.419 They are, of course, building up to the most extraordinary operation. 15:39.519 --> 15:41.241 I know we've been saying that for a year and a half. 15:41.481 --> 15:42.322 Nude operation? 15:42.342 --> 15:45.104 Why are you obsessed with nudity? 15:45.224 --> 15:45.764 You are too. 15:46.225 --> 15:49.187 Am I? 15:49.527 --> 15:51.409 Attack being the best form of defence there. 15:51.449 --> 15:55.111 You just turned it around, threw it back in my face with that even of pause. 15:57.173 --> 16:01.417 I'm just going to go through some of the best toast photos we've got. 16:01.537 --> 16:06.481 Matt Donison has threaded soldiers onto an actual bracelet. 16:06.521 --> 16:12.345 He's buttered them, providing a very convenient dipping mechanism if he had a bit of eggy there. 16:13.386 --> 16:13.986 Very nice. 16:14.046 --> 16:15.167 That would be nice, wouldn't it? 16:16.047 --> 16:18.608 Anna has done some beautiful circular. 16:19.128 --> 16:26.070 She's punched out perfect circles out of toast, one slightly smaller than the other, and then they actually do look like beautiful breaded bracelets. 16:26.190 --> 16:26.830 Those are really nice. 16:26.850 --> 16:31.012 Those are the kind of things they used to have on shows in the 80s where they would encourage you to make your own fashions. 16:31.092 --> 16:32.692 Well, you know, 80s is back again. 16:32.772 --> 16:34.573 People from the Face magazine. 16:34.633 --> 16:36.514 Alex and Amy have toast bracelets. 16:36.554 --> 16:40.215 They're actually toasting their toast bracelets with a little bit of alcohol. 16:41.095 --> 16:47.157 Would we encourage adult Black Squadron members to have a little bit of a drink in the first half hour of the show? 16:47.177 --> 16:48.217 I think we have in the past. 16:48.257 --> 16:48.617 Have we? 16:48.677 --> 16:48.998 Yeah. 16:49.278 --> 16:49.498 Well done. 16:49.518 --> 16:50.138 It's nearly Christmas. 16:50.158 --> 16:53.359 Alex and Amy from Simon Weets. 16:53.679 --> 16:56.040 There's a triple toast bracelet fist bump. 16:56.140 --> 16:56.620 Very nice. 16:57.140 --> 17:03.385 And finally, not to be advised, Black Squadron member MJ is putting metal bracelets into the toaster. 17:03.646 --> 17:04.586 Yeah, that's insane. 17:04.627 --> 17:06.328 Don't toast the actual bracelets. 17:06.348 --> 17:09.411 I mean, yeah, the bracelets themselves probably conduct electricity. 17:09.451 --> 17:10.251 Come on, guys. 17:10.431 --> 17:13.594 Hey, guys, guys, guys. 17:13.814 --> 17:20.300 Now, listen, the other thing I should tell you listeners, if you can visit the webcam and see the studio here, you might see that 17:20.960 --> 17:22.662 Count Buckley's has his arm in a sling. 17:22.862 --> 17:23.102 Yeah. 17:23.503 --> 17:26.125 Yare mentioned it at the end of his show because he saw it. 17:26.165 --> 17:27.166 It's quite a shocking sight. 17:27.566 --> 17:29.668 It's one of those sort of pathetic slings. 17:30.068 --> 17:31.069 Well, no, what a pink. 17:31.249 --> 17:31.730 No, what do you mean? 17:31.750 --> 17:32.250 Well, no. 17:32.590 --> 17:33.771 What do you mean pathetic? 17:34.072 --> 17:35.012 Well, it's not a proper. 17:35.092 --> 17:38.776 You haven't got your arm in plaster and it's not a big piece of proper white cloth. 17:39.016 --> 17:41.638 No, it's it's sort of pink foamy. 17:41.698 --> 17:42.018 Yeah. 17:42.279 --> 17:42.759 Fabric. 17:43.340 --> 17:43.780 Yeah. 17:43.840 --> 17:48.144 The sort of stuff that a float is made out of in the pool vaguely. 17:48.164 --> 17:48.524 I don't know. 17:48.644 --> 17:49.165 A little bit. 17:49.205 --> 17:49.745 It's foamy. 17:50.446 --> 17:51.707 It's surgical foam. 17:51.787 --> 17:53.329 It's surgical foam. 17:53.569 --> 17:55.992 It was done by a doctor in the A&E department. 17:56.012 --> 17:58.334 Really, and it's just loosely around the wrist. 17:58.554 --> 18:05.081 It's the kind of thing that kids would come to with school and then manage to get out of all lessons, even though it didn't look very painful. 18:05.221 --> 18:08.184 No, Yara correctly pointed out that I could easily have got out of this show. 18:08.544 --> 18:09.304 You could, can I? 18:09.344 --> 18:12.265 And I was considering yesterday, I phoned Garth to see if he would be able to do it. 18:12.285 --> 18:12.465 Did you? 18:12.645 --> 18:14.205 Yeah, I was in hospital all day yesterday. 18:14.225 --> 18:14.385 Really? 18:14.405 --> 18:15.426 Well, this is what I'm leading up to. 18:15.526 --> 18:16.786 And it looks bad, man. 18:16.866 --> 18:17.966 Tell everyone what to do. 18:17.986 --> 18:23.247 Well, I was moaning about my L bone, a mysterious swelling on my L bone, right L bone, about three weeks. 18:23.307 --> 18:24.508 Now, four weeks ago it was now. 18:24.708 --> 18:26.108 For the last four years. 18:26.368 --> 18:26.648 Weeks. 18:26.728 --> 18:27.488 No, for four weeks. 18:28.068 --> 18:33.850 I was hilariously referring to it as my painful guy, Garvey, in the mistaken belief that it would clear up and go, wait, hasn't it? 18:33.870 --> 18:34.630 It's just got worse. 18:35.350 --> 18:38.892 went to the, uh, finally I was in so much pain a couple of nights back. 18:39.252 --> 18:40.652 It doesn't look like anything, doesn't it? 18:40.732 --> 18:40.933 No. 18:41.773 --> 18:48.856 And I was in so much pain, couldn't move, literally almost crying, uh, that I finally had to go into A&E, right? 18:48.896 --> 18:51.337 Because I was getting no joy from my doctor who went to my GP. 18:51.777 --> 18:53.038 He told me to tough it out. 18:53.378 --> 18:53.878 He didn't. 18:55.359 --> 18:57.460 I would have thought that was the kind of thing you'd respond to. 18:57.600 --> 18:58.001 Tough it out. 18:58.161 --> 18:58.521 Well, I did. 18:59.101 --> 19:03.024 At that point, when I was in with the GP, I wasn't in such agonizing pain. 19:03.044 --> 19:03.924 It was just persisting. 19:03.984 --> 19:05.065 I was like, why hasn't this gone away? 19:05.085 --> 19:06.706 He said, oh, you should just tough it out. 19:07.306 --> 19:08.947 In a month, it'll be a distant memory. 19:09.127 --> 19:10.188 So I said, all right, I'll tough it out. 19:10.628 --> 19:12.789 I thought, OK, fair enough, bit of reassurance from the doc. 19:12.829 --> 19:21.594 But that night, tears of pain rolling down my cheeks, right, I was I couldn't move or anything like the slightest movement would just send me into paroxysms of agony. 19:21.994 --> 19:23.796 So I go into A&E, right? 19:23.816 --> 19:24.476 Do you think that's fair? 19:24.716 --> 19:25.417 Yeah, that's fair. 19:25.637 --> 19:27.798 Lady at the A&E takes down my details. 19:27.838 --> 19:28.999 I describe what's going on. 19:29.279 --> 19:33.001 She goes, that's not really the kind of thing you're supposed to come into A&E for. 19:33.061 --> 19:34.662 It's not an accident. 19:34.702 --> 19:36.163 No, so it's not really an emergency. 19:36.644 --> 19:39.606 It's an emergency that if the pain is intense, that's an emergency, right? 19:39.926 --> 19:44.389 I said the pain is unbearable and it feels as if it's just getting worse and I don't know what to do. 19:44.589 --> 19:46.490 And my GP has been of no use to me. 19:46.550 --> 19:47.591 So what am I supposed to do? 19:47.751 --> 19:48.111 Tough it out. 19:48.464 --> 19:48.964 tough it out. 19:49.384 --> 19:52.365 Well, I tough it out, waited for three hours in A&E, and then they saw me. 19:52.385 --> 19:53.366 They were very nice indeed. 19:54.346 --> 20:00.208 And then the day after that, I went back in for a battery of tests, blood tests, x-rays. 20:00.288 --> 20:01.468 Oh, you look happy about that. 20:01.508 --> 20:02.949 Well, it's nice to have a battery of tests. 20:02.969 --> 20:04.409 His eyes lit up on battery of tests. 20:04.429 --> 20:05.889 Because then you feel something's being done. 20:05.969 --> 20:06.570 You know what I mean? 20:06.590 --> 20:07.450 They're looking into it. 20:07.850 --> 20:09.351 You're not being told to tough it out. 20:09.371 --> 20:11.433 You're not being asked if you're under a lot of stress. 20:11.453 --> 20:12.514 Have you had the results back? 20:13.214 --> 20:14.895 Yeah, to all normal, right? 20:14.935 --> 20:15.956 Which makes it even worse. 20:16.136 --> 20:17.678 Wow, so it's like a mystery disease. 20:17.758 --> 20:18.438 Mystery disease. 20:18.538 --> 20:18.858 Really? 20:18.959 --> 20:23.542 So I got various people coming in and poking and prodding me, which is very shameful. 20:23.922 --> 20:24.443 Specialists. 20:24.783 --> 20:28.005 And then they started taking samples from my joints. 20:28.886 --> 20:30.187 Injecting my L bone. 20:30.207 --> 20:33.228 Yeah, I've never experienced such excruciating. 20:33.248 --> 20:38.830 They give you a local a little local but she said This is just gonna numb the skin. 20:39.091 --> 20:41.792 It's still gonna be very painful and sure enough. 20:42.032 --> 20:43.753 It was Unbelievable. 20:44.333 --> 20:46.834 I nearly passed out was it was amazing. 20:46.854 --> 20:46.874 I 20:47.094 --> 20:52.095 Is there no way that we can, like, have the BBC got, like, a staff doctor, a special... I think they do. 20:52.175 --> 20:52.915 ...castle doctor? 20:52.955 --> 20:55.916 There's a BBC dentist, apparently, that I'm really excited about. 20:55.936 --> 20:57.597 Well, let's take care of this. 20:57.657 --> 21:00.317 Ben's saying no, but we'll make one up. 21:00.957 --> 21:03.938 Can't we get, like, a... Let's get Stephen and Max in a doctor's outfit. 21:04.078 --> 21:05.118 That would be great, yeah. 21:05.159 --> 21:06.979 He could suck the blood out of my... Exactly. 21:07.159 --> 21:07.519 Exactly. 21:07.559 --> 21:09.641 He'll give you a full body blood transfusion. 21:09.661 --> 21:13.424 You just need to drink the blood that is built off on the airborne. 21:13.845 --> 21:16.547 Okay, here's the eels right now with the look you give that guy. 21:16.747 --> 21:17.628 Very nice and relaxing. 21:17.648 --> 21:19.830 That's eels with the look you give that guy. 21:19.850 --> 21:24.133 That's from their last album, Ombre Lobo, I believe. 21:24.854 --> 21:25.214 Yeah. 21:25.234 --> 21:25.695 You're right. 21:26.055 --> 21:27.636 This is Adam and John, BBC Six Music. 21:27.656 --> 21:28.397 Good morning listeners. 21:28.437 --> 21:29.197 It's time for 21:29.938 --> 21:31.039 Retro-Tex-the-Nation. 21:31.119 --> 21:36.382 Now, Retro-Tex-the-Nation has got a jingle and... People love the jingle. 21:36.422 --> 21:38.883 They do, but it had like an earlier incarnation. 21:38.903 --> 21:39.443 Do you remember that? 21:39.463 --> 21:44.766 A sort of a funky... Well, it started out as a funky track that you did over a Garage Band thing, right? 21:44.887 --> 21:48.749 And a gentleman called John Paul Spears sent in the following email. 21:49.269 --> 21:50.049 Hi, Joe and Adam. 21:50.450 --> 21:52.151 I've recorded a jingle bed for you. 21:52.671 --> 21:57.834 The vocal from the original Retro-Tex-the-Nation should slot perfectly into this backing track. 21:58.374 --> 22:01.977 I estimated your tempo at 114 beats per minute and used that. 22:02.458 --> 22:06.241 It's based on the jazz standard, one note samba, Love from Spearsie. 22:06.522 --> 22:07.222 Nice one, Spearsie. 22:07.242 --> 22:17.711 So he by ear figured out the precise tempo of the original jingle and then made this bed for it and I popped it into Garrott Band and popped the vocals over it and it works amazingly. 22:17.892 --> 22:18.072 Yeah. 22:18.232 --> 22:22.496 And I think Spears has set an extraordinary, Spearsie, he's set an extraordinary precedent 22:23.076 --> 22:28.500 and showed incredible skill, cunning and acumen that other listeners might like to rise to his challenge. 22:28.540 --> 22:29.100 You know what I mean? 22:29.241 --> 22:30.722 Yeah, they might like to rise to his acumen. 22:30.742 --> 22:32.583 I mean, check out how well this fits. 22:49.995 --> 22:51.416 And you did bin in there as well. 22:51.757 --> 22:52.757 I've switched it to bin. 22:53.338 --> 23:01.024 We got an avalanche of angry mails about people saying, why did you count out a little bit of anti-American trash pressure? 23:01.164 --> 23:01.645 Here's one. 23:01.845 --> 23:08.931 If you weren't listening last week, you remember that we got an email from a girl called Clem and her sisters saying that they didn't like the use of the word trash in that jingle. 23:08.991 --> 23:09.151 Yeah. 23:09.251 --> 23:13.094 Thought it was an Americanism and they wanted me to change it to bin, so I did change it to bin. 23:13.394 --> 23:16.257 But as Adam says, we got loads of mail complaining about that here. 23:16.277 --> 23:17.598 For instance, there's one from Will Took. 23:18.098 --> 23:25.120 Your email from the voice of the people Clem last week concerning the use of the word trash and retrotext the nation was certainly passionate but academically shoddy. 23:25.561 --> 23:32.743 In Julius Caesar Act 4 Scene 3 Brutus wonders whether he shall be forced to sell the mighty space of our large honours for so much trash as may be grasped. 23:33.163 --> 23:39.749 Similarly, in Henry IV Part 2 Act 1 Scene 4, the Duke of York orders his soldiers to, quote, lay hands upon those traitors and their trash. 23:40.089 --> 23:43.672 Moreover, both Caliban and his master, the magician Prospero in the Tempest, use the work. 23:44.012 --> 23:52.219 If one consults the Oxford English Dictionary, they will find that John Skelton, another Englishman, Henry VIII's tutor no less, uses the term in his morality play Magnificence, first performed in 1518, 23:53.180 --> 23:56.383 less than 30 years after Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. 23:56.543 --> 24:04.972 Also, I think if you go and see Hamlet at the moment, there's a bit in there where he says, and now my message might be read out instead of thrown in the trash and forgotten about. 24:05.112 --> 24:06.854 It's been reinstated. 24:08.736 --> 24:09.096 Hamlet. 24:10.197 --> 24:12.519 That's a Shakespeare play. 24:12.539 --> 24:13.180 Two laws in it. 24:13.320 --> 24:17.823 Will provides a massive amount of evidence there that trash is not an Americanism, it's a British word. 24:18.064 --> 24:25.970 Other people saying that of course we receive most messages digitally so you would drag them into the trash on the screen, but I don't know, you can't please everyone all the time, can you? 24:26.010 --> 24:26.731 You shouldn't even try. 24:27.131 --> 24:28.633 Well, I've started trying. 24:29.754 --> 24:30.835 That's where you went wrong. 24:30.855 --> 24:33.398 What if I do a version which says bin and trash simultaneously? 24:33.518 --> 24:34.099 No, no, no. 24:34.259 --> 24:34.600 Bash? 24:34.680 --> 24:35.461 I tell you what you should do. 24:35.501 --> 24:36.302 Trin. 24:36.642 --> 24:38.945 Because now you feel too proud to switch it back, right? 24:39.465 --> 24:41.327 Now you feel like you're going to be Johnny Flip Flop. 24:42.068 --> 24:43.209 You should go and switch it back. 24:43.229 --> 24:44.949 I do feel like I'm going to be Johnny Flip-flop. 24:44.989 --> 24:45.249 Yeah? 24:45.550 --> 24:47.210 No, I want to be Johnny Flip-flop. 24:47.250 --> 24:48.011 Tommy U-turn. 24:48.431 --> 24:50.852 You should just switch it back, guy. 24:50.952 --> 24:51.832 I want to be Tommy Flip-flop. 24:51.852 --> 24:59.135 Don't be like all these people like British Airways who spend however many millions of pounds rebranding and then everyone goes, eh, it was much better before. 24:59.155 --> 25:00.256 Just switch back, guy. 25:00.276 --> 25:02.097 I can't stop thinking about Tommy Flip-flop. 25:02.437 --> 25:03.237 Johnny Flip-flop. 25:03.437 --> 25:04.658 Johnny Flip-flop, wasn't he? 25:05.218 --> 25:05.878 I don't know. 25:05.918 --> 25:06.759 There's two of them now. 25:06.799 --> 25:07.599 That's Tommy U-turn. 25:07.739 --> 25:08.220 They're wicked. 25:08.800 --> 25:10.342 All they're wearing is little speedos and flip-flops. 25:10.382 --> 25:15.047 Listen, Jonny flip-flop, if the Retro Text the Nation jingle is not back to trash next week, I'm going to beat you. 25:15.108 --> 25:15.368 Really? 25:15.388 --> 25:16.269 Yeah, I'm going to beat you. 25:16.309 --> 25:22.076 Well, listen, we've waffled on for so long, we're going to actually do the Retro Text the Nation business after this next record. 25:22.116 --> 25:23.557 This is a free play by me. 25:24.298 --> 25:27.182 This is from Steve Martin's new album of... It's by me. 25:27.762 --> 25:27.942 What? 25:27.962 --> 25:29.483 It's a bit, you know, it's taking credit for a lot. 25:29.503 --> 25:30.704 Did I say this is by me? 25:30.744 --> 25:32.005 Yeah, it's a free play by me. 25:32.085 --> 25:33.846 Oh yeah, I mean chosen by me. 25:33.866 --> 25:34.467 Yeah, by. 25:34.807 --> 25:37.128 It's actually performed by Steve Martin, the comedian. 25:37.308 --> 25:37.769 Yeah, yeah. 25:37.949 --> 25:38.729 It's mainly by you. 25:38.749 --> 25:40.310 Do you like it when people end sentences up? 25:40.330 --> 25:40.891 What's like that? 25:41.451 --> 25:42.072 My son does it. 25:42.092 --> 25:43.172 Steve Martin, the comedian? 25:43.212 --> 25:44.013 Yeah. 25:44.053 --> 25:48.796 It's from his album, The Crow, which features new songs for the five-string banjo. 25:48.816 --> 25:49.817 This is called Late for School. 25:50.397 --> 25:54.940 Steve Martin from his album, The Crow, new songs for the five-string banjo released this year. 25:54.960 --> 25:56.281 That was called Late for School. 25:56.301 --> 25:56.942 This year, was it? 25:56.962 --> 25:57.422 Yeah, I think so. 25:57.762 --> 26:06.086 And we got a message from someone saying that Uros Childs' album, which we played a track from earlier on, was available for free on his website. 26:06.106 --> 26:07.267 It is available for free. 26:07.287 --> 26:08.107 It is available for free. 26:08.127 --> 26:12.090 Now, we haven't actually researched that or backed it up. 26:12.170 --> 26:13.550 It's just an email we received. 26:13.570 --> 26:15.451 It might be wrong, but it might be because it was. 26:16.992 --> 26:18.533 Now it's time for Retro Text the Nation. 26:18.853 --> 26:21.395 We've sort of lost control of our jingles this morning, haven't we? 26:21.455 --> 26:22.636 Yeah, all over the place. 26:22.836 --> 26:26.318 Because we've done the jingle before now, so we're just going to launch into it. 26:26.338 --> 26:28.600 What was the subject of Text the Nation last week, Adam? 26:28.860 --> 26:42.089 It was kind of new demented shops inspired by a trip to a shop called Hollister in Westfield Shopping Centre, where all the staff were ridiculously good looking and it's incredibly dark and super air conditioned and the music's very loud. 26:42.589 --> 26:46.672 So we were thinking of new things to do to jazz up the shopping experience. 26:47.072 --> 26:58.883 That was last week's subject, and of course Retro Text the Nation is the place where... Oh, I don't know, I can't... It's an opportunity for people who listen to the show during the week rather than live on Saturdays to contribute to Text the Nation. 26:59.243 --> 27:01.345 So here are some of the emails we got. 27:01.606 --> 27:03.587 This is from Michael Lumley in Leeds. 27:04.188 --> 27:08.051 Hi Adam and Jo, my idea for this week's Text the Nation would be a sweat shop. 27:08.352 --> 27:09.413 Oh, I thought it was a sweet shop. 27:10.113 --> 27:13.015 This shop has the look and feel of a traditional sweatshop. 27:13.455 --> 27:14.096 Ah, that's nice. 27:15.797 --> 27:17.097 A traditional sweatshop. 27:17.798 --> 27:24.022 With many orphan children working at sewing machines, each child produces a different coloured t-shirt with writing on it. 27:24.682 --> 27:27.604 And you buy the t-shirts straight from the children themselves. 27:27.884 --> 27:35.929 This makes the shopper feel very guilty seeing the poor orphans and immediately begin buying various coloured t-shirts with writing on them from the various orphan children. 27:36.849 --> 27:37.550 Michael Lumley and Leeds. 27:37.570 --> 27:38.691 Now, that's a very good idea. 27:38.811 --> 27:41.172 Well, it would certainly be nice to put a face to the little children. 27:41.272 --> 27:41.773 Exactly. 27:41.873 --> 27:46.176 And it'd be good to see them in the flesh and... In an authentic environment. 27:46.296 --> 27:47.376 A traditional environment. 27:48.237 --> 27:56.743 If you watch BBC Three, every other show on that channel seems to be some kind of teenage girl going to India to get angry about the sweatshops. 27:57.243 --> 27:59.745 There seems to be a kind of a queue of... Do you love BBC Three? 27:59.865 --> 28:01.546 I do love their documentaries, yeah. 28:01.686 --> 28:05.248 There was one on the other day as well, and just these very, quite sort of... 28:06.369 --> 28:11.593 pretty overly made-up teenage girls going and putting their hands on their hips and shouting at sweatshop owners. 28:11.913 --> 28:13.594 How can you possibly do this? 28:13.954 --> 28:14.935 This is disgusting! 28:15.656 --> 28:16.796 This place should be closed down! 28:16.896 --> 28:20.939 Which is quite right, obviously, but possibly simplifies the economic and social issues. 28:20.959 --> 28:21.500 Apparently not. 28:21.600 --> 28:21.960 Apparently not. 28:21.980 --> 28:22.881 They've all been closed down. 28:22.961 --> 28:23.861 Have they been closed down? 28:23.881 --> 28:24.382 Thanks to her. 28:24.482 --> 28:25.322 Yeah, since that documentary. 28:25.342 --> 28:25.663 Good stuff. 28:25.883 --> 28:27.604 But they could do that in this shop as well. 28:27.644 --> 28:29.345 They could have a kind of manager. 28:29.625 --> 28:30.446 He'd just be an actor. 28:30.686 --> 28:30.766 Yeah. 28:30.786 --> 28:35.170 And you could shout at him, you know, you could really complain about all the injustice in the world. 28:35.290 --> 28:35.671 Yes. 28:35.991 --> 28:38.053 And they could kind of mime closing down the shot. 28:38.093 --> 28:41.356 It would be very cathartic and then you come out and you've got a t-shirt with right on it. 28:41.376 --> 28:41.516 Exactly. 28:41.536 --> 28:43.518 But as soon as you leave, they all go back to work. 28:43.658 --> 28:44.059 I like it. 28:44.199 --> 28:44.799 They reset. 28:45.000 --> 28:46.721 Here's one from Stuart Bell in Cambridge. 28:46.781 --> 28:47.062 He says, 28:48.743 --> 28:57.526 My idea for a high-concept shop would be to have it decked out like an old-style school outfitters with all different uniforms in separate places. 28:57.886 --> 29:03.789 In this case, however, instead of schools, they would be various visually identifiable subculture groups. 29:04.169 --> 29:12.632 So you'd have the skinny jeans and grubby hoodies indie kids section, a corner of black items for the Goths and so on, where the brilliance arrives. 29:13.032 --> 29:18.437 is that the shopping experience is just like going shopping for a school uniform with your mum. 29:18.758 --> 29:22.961 You're assigned a lady to help you who not only picks out appropriate clothes for you. 29:24.603 --> 29:28.807 Once you've told her your school, did you read it through first? 29:29.067 --> 29:29.968 No. 29:30.348 --> 29:31.770 You're just coming to terms with it laughing. 29:32.150 --> 29:34.092 I was trying to make it sound like I had. 29:34.392 --> 29:35.333 It's a good idea, man. 29:35.373 --> 29:35.994 Keep going. 29:36.034 --> 29:37.575 But also make sure you're 29:38.856 --> 29:44.842 But also, make sure you buy things that fit and chivvies you along in the changing rooms, etc. 29:45.162 --> 29:47.504 I don't like shopping very much and this would be a big help. 29:47.965 --> 29:48.805 It ended well though. 29:48.925 --> 29:50.507 Stuart Bell in Cambridge. 29:50.567 --> 29:51.167 No, discuss that. 29:51.408 --> 29:53.089 It's just the middle bit that went wrong. 29:53.570 --> 29:55.011 Okay, so Stuart's idea. 29:55.271 --> 29:58.814 What was Stuart's idea? 30:00.035 --> 30:00.516 As I understand it. 30:00.536 --> 30:02.878 You were concentrating so hard on just getting the words out. 30:02.898 --> 30:03.299 For a shop. 30:03.319 --> 30:04.259 You didn't actually hear. 30:04.400 --> 30:05.301 It was. 30:06.582 --> 30:10.085 It's like a shop and they sell goth clothes in one corner. 30:10.145 --> 30:10.986 Goth clothes? 30:11.126 --> 30:11.807 Goth clothes. 30:11.827 --> 30:12.307 Oh goth clothes. 30:12.468 --> 30:16.872 And indie clothes in the other corner and there's a woman who shouts at you. 30:17.673 --> 30:19.134 How is that different to his idea? 30:20.295 --> 30:23.376 It's kind of the same, but he's talking about like a school uniform. 30:23.736 --> 30:27.457 He's drawing a comparison between contemporary styles and school uniforms. 30:28.057 --> 30:31.878 He's saying contemporary fashion is basically like a series of school uniforms. 30:31.958 --> 30:32.078 Right. 30:32.578 --> 30:38.119 And you could go into a shop like a school uniform shop and be measured and allocated the correct uniform. 30:38.139 --> 30:38.479 That came across. 30:38.499 --> 30:39.739 But you'd have to go with your mummy. 30:40.019 --> 30:40.659 Yeah, yeah. 30:40.679 --> 30:41.120 I said all that. 30:41.200 --> 30:42.540 I said all that. 30:42.880 --> 30:43.360 Have you got one there? 30:43.380 --> 30:44.360 It's a good idea though, isn't it? 30:44.380 --> 30:44.740 Very good. 30:44.780 --> 30:45.741 Well done, Stuart and Cambridge. 30:46.001 --> 30:47.181 Sorry, I massacred your letter. 30:48.421 --> 30:49.041 Here's another one. 30:49.081 --> 30:49.602 Hi, Adam and Jo. 30:49.702 --> 30:50.922 Please read this email out. 30:50.962 --> 30:55.484 I listen to your show on the internet every Monday morning whilst I draw my molecules here in Barcelona. 30:56.084 --> 30:57.124 Sounds slightly insane. 30:57.144 --> 30:59.325 He works in a biomedical... This is Louise, actually. 30:59.345 --> 31:02.046 She works in a biomedical research lab in Barcelona. 31:02.146 --> 31:05.507 My idea for a crazy shop is having all the assistants seem like psychopaths. 31:06.127 --> 31:13.716 For example, one is strapped onto a trolley like Hannibal Lector with a mouth guard on, with someone else to push him around between customers. 31:14.136 --> 31:21.084 Another one would be in a straitjacket, another nonchalantly carrying a grubby hold-all with an elbow sticking out of it. 31:22.285 --> 31:22.605 Maybe. 31:22.665 --> 31:25.127 Occasionally the assistants start to fight between themselves. 31:25.588 --> 31:26.729 Everything else in the shop is normal. 31:27.129 --> 31:33.214 Apart from their physical appearance and fights, the assistants behave like regular people and do not acknowledge there is anything abnormal. 31:33.254 --> 31:34.735 Why is that a good idea for a shop? 31:34.815 --> 31:36.877 You could also use real psychopaths. 31:37.697 --> 31:40.539 But there may be health and safety issues. 31:40.820 --> 31:44.423 She doesn't go into saying why it's good or how it would enhance. 31:44.523 --> 31:46.404 She's been spending too long staring at molecules. 31:48.086 --> 31:52.250 Do you think she can stare at things so hard that she can see the molecules? 31:52.650 --> 31:54.532 Yes, she can see them at a molecular level. 31:54.613 --> 31:58.637 Is it true that if you stare at something for long enough you do start to see the molecules? 31:58.697 --> 31:59.598 Yeah. 31:59.618 --> 32:00.259 Is that not true? 32:00.279 --> 32:00.859 That's not true. 32:01.100 --> 32:06.886 Is it true that one time a couple was scuba diving and their son took a photo of them? 32:07.426 --> 32:07.807 And behind them. 32:07.847 --> 32:09.789 And there was this big plane behind them. 32:09.969 --> 32:11.030 Yeah, it was on the news. 32:11.290 --> 32:11.890 Was it on the news? 32:11.930 --> 32:12.130 Yeah. 32:12.350 --> 32:13.311 Wow, I love the news. 32:13.671 --> 32:15.012 Is that enough retro textinations? 32:15.052 --> 32:15.552 I think it is. 32:15.632 --> 32:16.493 Oh, can we do one more? 32:16.733 --> 32:19.515 Go on then. 32:19.735 --> 32:26.979 A shop modeled on trendy New York loft apartments staffed entirely by extremely good looking second year art students with hangovers. 32:27.319 --> 32:33.463 The shop sells massively overpriced designer stuff and stupid plastic fisheye cameras that make everyone look like they have big faces. 32:33.743 --> 32:45.047 The customers who shop there do so because it fills them with a false sense of smug superiority over their fellow wannabe indie types as their navy blue polo shirt has a little gold badger on it whereas the serfs navy blue polo shirt does not. 32:45.347 --> 32:49.469 The customers often have haircuts that cost more than their shoes and cannot name more than four countries. 32:49.789 --> 32:51.110 It would be called urban outfitters. 32:52.831 --> 32:56.094 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 32:56.114 --> 32:56.954 Who was that from incidentally? 32:57.095 --> 32:57.355 Don't know. 32:57.955 --> 32:59.016 Uncredited satire. 32:59.117 --> 33:00.378 Forgot to put it on the page. 33:00.538 --> 33:00.998 Sorry. 33:01.098 --> 33:02.460 We're at absolute disgrace. 33:02.700 --> 33:03.641 Here's a trail right now. 33:03.701 --> 33:04.702 This is for Sean Keveny. 33:04.722 --> 33:05.422 Enjoy the trail. 33:05.683 --> 33:09.266 This is the voice of the big, windy castle. 33:09.366 --> 33:11.268 It is the top of the hour. 33:11.328 --> 33:12.829 Ooh, that's wonderful. 33:13.050 --> 33:15.452 I got so bored with the last hour and day. 33:20.500 --> 33:23.981 That's the XX there with Islands. 33:24.081 --> 33:27.083 They sound a lot like young marble giants. 33:27.283 --> 33:28.624 They're super hot right now. 33:28.704 --> 33:30.224 Have you seen the XX perform? 33:30.565 --> 33:31.965 They were in the Hub a few weeks back. 33:32.025 --> 33:32.345 Are they? 33:32.385 --> 33:32.646 Yeah. 33:32.746 --> 33:33.886 Were you watching them perform in the Hub? 33:33.926 --> 33:34.947 I was, and they looked impressive. 33:34.987 --> 33:37.428 They were one of those bands you sort of stopped and you thought, oh, this is good. 33:37.468 --> 33:38.488 They don't give a fig. 33:38.728 --> 33:39.169 Do they not? 33:39.409 --> 33:43.090 Well, they probably do, but when they're standing there playing, it appears that they don't. 33:43.371 --> 33:43.991 What are they doing? 33:44.191 --> 33:44.491 Nothing. 33:44.811 --> 33:45.952 They're just gazing at their shoes. 33:45.972 --> 33:47.032 Yeah, whatever. 33:47.092 --> 33:48.093 They don't give a fig. 33:48.573 --> 33:49.514 They're just nonchalant. 33:49.614 --> 33:49.994 Yeah. 33:50.715 --> 33:51.556 They hate challenge. 33:52.236 --> 33:52.717 Challenge? 33:53.017 --> 33:53.317 Yeah. 33:53.437 --> 33:54.278 What's challenge? 33:54.599 --> 33:57.061 That's what you, it's the opposite of nonchalant. 33:57.922 --> 33:58.642 Ah, nonchalant. 33:58.702 --> 34:00.844 Britain's got challenge. 34:00.884 --> 34:01.605 Yes, exactly. 34:01.625 --> 34:04.407 That would be another name for it because they'd be so excited. 34:04.427 --> 34:05.749 They've got the haircuts. 34:06.309 --> 34:06.529 Mm hmm. 34:07.210 --> 34:08.370 And they're South Londoners, aren't they? 34:08.450 --> 34:08.771 Are they? 34:08.811 --> 34:09.091 I think so. 34:09.111 --> 34:09.571 I like them. 34:10.051 --> 34:10.252 Yeah. 34:10.632 --> 34:10.812 Yeah. 34:10.832 --> 34:11.252 I think they're good. 34:11.272 --> 34:12.433 You think you had a free play of theirs? 34:12.453 --> 34:14.254 Yeah, I free played one of theirs the other week. 34:14.294 --> 34:14.534 Yeah. 34:14.995 --> 34:15.135 Yeah. 34:15.195 --> 34:16.055 I'd like to hang out with them. 34:16.095 --> 34:17.236 So give me a call, XX. 34:17.796 --> 34:18.217 I said that one. 34:18.237 --> 34:20.378 We can just hang around in South London and stare at our shoes. 34:20.398 --> 34:21.859 You remember years ago, I thought... 34:22.679 --> 34:29.564 I mistakenly believed that as soon as you're on the radio, like, everyone listens to you and you instantly can be friends with anyone you want to. 34:29.985 --> 34:37.470 So I remember, like, when the Libertines came out, I thought they were fun and I'd seen Pete Docherty being interviewed on MTV and I said, like, I'd love to hang out with Pete Docherty. 34:38.231 --> 34:38.831 When was this? 34:39.852 --> 34:42.094 Years back, like, 2003 or something? 34:42.354 --> 34:44.916 Well, I think that's a reach, that's an achievable aim. 34:45.096 --> 34:45.596 It is now. 34:45.917 --> 34:46.197 Yeah. 34:46.397 --> 34:47.758 All you need is, like, ten quid. 34:48.418 --> 34:50.320 He busks regularly, doesn't he? 34:50.760 --> 34:58.087 Now, we had a few messages from people who had heard my voice on the Philippe Stark sort of, what would you call it? 34:58.128 --> 34:59.589 It's not really a documentary, is it? 34:59.609 --> 35:01.571 No, I don't think it is a documentary. 35:01.651 --> 35:03.012 It's one of those kind of eliminations. 35:03.032 --> 35:04.074 It's a reality series. 35:04.134 --> 35:07.117 It's like a reality elimination thing, a little bit like The Apprentice. 35:07.237 --> 35:10.400 It's a design apprentice, The Apprentice for contemporary design. 35:10.600 --> 35:13.061 And it's on BBC, is it on Tuesday evenings? 35:13.461 --> 35:13.981 I don't know. 35:14.081 --> 35:14.782 Sometime around. 35:15.022 --> 35:16.522 It's a prime time proposition, though. 35:16.562 --> 35:17.963 It's like a nine o'clock thing. 35:18.043 --> 35:21.444 And he's a ridiculous over-the-top French design figure. 35:21.464 --> 35:23.465 I mean, he's also quite brilliant in the industry. 35:23.525 --> 35:24.506 You reckon he's brilliant, do you? 35:24.746 --> 35:29.808 Well, he's very, yeah, he is, because he's completely distinct and you can tell a Philip Stark thing. 35:29.848 --> 35:30.208 Can you? 35:30.748 --> 35:32.089 What's his most famous design? 35:32.509 --> 35:34.910 The Philip Stark golf ball, of course. 35:35.650 --> 35:36.230 Is that true? 35:36.470 --> 35:38.091 Yes, it is a triangle. 35:40.712 --> 35:46.934 Well, someone suggested the other day that I replace or fool around with the VO, because I do the voice-over, right? 35:46.954 --> 35:52.156 You do the voice-over, yeah, and it is disconcerting for, I mean, I sat down and watched it the first week it was on. 35:52.256 --> 35:53.737 And I realised it had your voice in it. 35:53.757 --> 35:55.537 I tried to do a serious one as well. 35:55.877 --> 36:00.259 Yeah, but it's hard not for it to be a bit funny, even when you try and do your serious voice. 36:00.279 --> 36:02.520 I was directed to be serious by that director. 36:03.880 --> 36:15.993 But it's odd, and especially when we know that you do quite an outrageously peculiar French accent yourself, it does not sound dissimilar to Starks' outrageously peculiar French accent. 36:16.074 --> 36:21.159 Well, with that in mind, I've slightly retooled the first minute or so of the programme. 36:21.319 --> 36:21.700 Good one. 36:24.349 --> 36:29.933 World-renowned designer Philippe Starck has set out to find Britain's best young creative talent. 36:30.293 --> 36:42.361 Great design is all about the unexpected idea, like a bed made out of glass or a glass made out of glass and a bed. 36:42.481 --> 36:48.545 From hundreds of online applicants, he chose 12 to join his school of design in Paris. 36:48.605 --> 36:50.687 Bonjour, les englais, pouvous la là ! 36:51.207 --> 36:55.088 Now he's putting them through their paces to find the best of the best. 36:55.148 --> 36:56.209 I use the best of the best. 36:56.269 --> 36:56.629 Yes. 36:56.849 --> 36:57.469 OK, you stay. 36:57.649 --> 36:58.289 Thank you. 36:58.649 --> 37:02.190 One up-and-coming designer who's worthy of a place at his own agency. 37:02.230 --> 37:03.471 I am crazy. 37:03.631 --> 37:06.092 OK, I say what I think, because I'm a genius. 37:06.352 --> 37:07.132 Look at my nipples. 37:07.172 --> 37:07.532 Woo-hoo. 37:07.952 --> 37:11.213 So far, he has challenged them to rethink everything they know. 37:11.353 --> 37:16.995 OK, you know, mugs, mugs, OK, for drinking the coffee and the tea? 37:17.535 --> 37:17.915 Rethink. 37:18.235 --> 37:20.456 Instead, use the smashed hat of a tramp. 37:20.976 --> 37:23.919 He has praised their high moments, and slammed their low ones. 37:24.019 --> 37:26.301 And when students fail to meet his exacting standards, 37:37.671 --> 37:40.392 A return journey through the channel tunnel beckons. 37:40.672 --> 37:47.815 I want you to go out through the channel tunnel now like a big fart, because that's what you are to me, a massive great fart of a person. 37:47.875 --> 37:52.297 Go get out of my sight out of it now and take your lonely chair with you. 37:52.797 --> 37:53.797 That's a better program. 37:54.298 --> 37:54.858 Oh, come on. 37:54.918 --> 37:55.878 It's a much better program. 37:56.338 --> 37:59.960 You know what I'd also like to hear is the voiceover done in that voice as well. 38:01.493 --> 38:02.273 One of the whole things. 38:02.553 --> 38:03.453 Water waters. 38:03.473 --> 38:04.374 Just insane. 38:05.454 --> 38:06.314 Frenchorama. 38:06.394 --> 38:09.095 And have, instead of British students, insane French students as well. 38:09.155 --> 38:09.775 That was excellent. 38:09.875 --> 38:10.935 Thanks for doing that. 38:10.995 --> 38:12.376 We need some music to recover now. 38:12.516 --> 38:13.516 Yeah, here's a free choice for you. 38:13.536 --> 38:17.137 Now, I did a bit of DJing at a club called the 13th Floor and the Albany Nasturtium. 38:17.157 --> 38:17.737 How did that go? 38:17.837 --> 38:20.898 It was great fun, and lots of nice people came along who listened to the show. 38:20.958 --> 38:24.819 And as usual, it was such a joy to meet them, really genuinely a pleasure. 38:25.299 --> 38:29.520 And one of the people that I came up to, it was a couple, and they... That he came up to. 38:29.600 --> 38:30.380 You were approaching them. 38:30.660 --> 38:31.761 Yeah, I was just wandering around. 38:31.781 --> 38:31.841 Hey! 38:32.041 --> 38:32.921 Do you listen to our show? 38:32.961 --> 38:34.262 Doesn't matter, it's okay, don't worry. 38:35.462 --> 38:44.266 Louise and Neil, actually they came up to me when I was on the way to the Lavi and they said, hi, we really like your show, we've just had an amazing day, they'd just been to see Mott the Hoople. 38:44.986 --> 38:51.369 And Ian Hunter from Mott the Hoople, he's like in his 70s now, and he was playing at the Bats Apollo or whatever it's called now in Hammersmith. 38:51.989 --> 38:55.950 And apparently it was an amazing gig and he was on top form, so Louise and Neil were walking on air. 38:56.230 --> 39:00.292 Also, they bumped into Mick Jones from the Clash, who's like the original Mott the Hooples superfan. 39:00.672 --> 39:02.512 He turned out to be an absolutely lovely guy. 39:02.532 --> 39:05.173 And so they... And then they met you. 39:05.233 --> 39:06.253 And then they met me. 39:06.353 --> 39:07.174 Wow, what a day. 39:07.634 --> 39:13.175 So this one, I asked them if they played this song and they said they didn't, but this is one of my favourite Mott the Hooples songs. 39:13.215 --> 39:14.176 This is Sea Diver. 39:14.556 --> 39:18.277 That was howling bells with setting sand. 39:18.877 --> 39:20.357 How do you like howling bells? 39:20.737 --> 39:30.280 Yeah, yeah, kind of Yeah, yeah, it was good stuff there Adam and Joe here on BBC six music coming up later in the show We've got a couple of features for you listeners. 39:30.540 --> 39:30.820 Really? 39:30.940 --> 39:38.002 Yeah, we're pushing them today We got one feature right where we get people to send us in ideas what on like a subject? 39:38.042 --> 39:40.302 Wait, wait, wait, wait, what's called text donation? 39:40.722 --> 39:42.243 It's got a jingle complicated. 39:42.263 --> 39:42.883 It never worked. 39:42.903 --> 39:43.083 Really? 39:43.863 --> 39:44.683 Well, we might drop it then. 39:45.063 --> 39:47.584 And we've also got made-up jokes as well. 39:47.604 --> 39:49.384 Have you got made-up jokes in your locker there? 39:49.504 --> 39:51.085 I've got so many made-up jokes. 39:51.125 --> 39:52.085 You know what I was thinking? 39:52.665 --> 39:56.566 I mean, the response to the made-up jokes thing is voluminous. 39:56.726 --> 39:57.286 It really is. 39:57.726 --> 40:01.927 And we could do... Do you think this would work if we did a made-up jokes special? 40:02.347 --> 40:03.287 This is what I'm proposing. 40:03.747 --> 40:07.508 An entire three-hour show of solid made-up jokes. 40:07.648 --> 40:08.028 Oi! 40:08.529 --> 40:10.429 Now... Why is that good? 40:10.749 --> 40:11.189 I don't know. 40:11.309 --> 40:12.190 What do you think would happen? 40:12.210 --> 40:13.931 Because it would be fun at the beginning, wouldn't it? 40:14.531 --> 40:16.933 And then it would get torturous in the middle. 40:16.953 --> 40:18.314 It would get boring in the middle. 40:18.334 --> 40:19.715 But then what would happen towards the end? 40:19.735 --> 40:19.975 Would it? 40:19.995 --> 40:21.636 Do you think you'd go through? 40:21.816 --> 40:31.582 Well, maybe you'd pass through into some incredible new kind of hysterical, tedious... But you're assuming people would listen for that length of time. 40:32.342 --> 40:33.322 Well, we'd all try. 40:33.362 --> 40:34.743 We'd be like a national effort. 40:34.763 --> 40:36.643 I think we'd just switch off at five to ten. 40:36.763 --> 40:37.203 Do you think? 40:37.344 --> 40:39.364 Well, you could if it got too much for you, medically. 40:39.604 --> 40:40.765 We got made up jokes anyway. 40:41.025 --> 40:45.966 We're not going to do that this show, but we've got a few good... I mean, I've got some ones that really made me chuckle. 40:46.046 --> 40:46.986 Yeah, some good ones. 40:47.066 --> 40:49.827 And a little bit more controversy as well about people stealing them. 40:49.907 --> 40:55.709 I mean, this is something that maybe we're going to have to put to bed because people are always going to think that the jokes are being nicked, right? 40:56.289 --> 41:00.092 I think I still maintain that you can apply some criteria. 41:00.353 --> 41:00.553 Really? 41:00.573 --> 41:01.754 Google search is good. 41:02.334 --> 41:07.679 And if it's if it's just an old play on words on terms that have been around a while, then of course someone's thought of it. 41:07.779 --> 41:08.339 That's the thing. 41:08.459 --> 41:12.783 We've got to focus on jokes that aren't just completely easy little puns. 41:12.823 --> 41:13.103 Yeah. 41:13.323 --> 41:14.865 Anyway, that's coming up later in the program. 41:15.766 --> 41:17.828 Tonight is X Factor Night, isn't it? 41:18.168 --> 41:19.149 Of course it is, Adam. 41:19.229 --> 41:19.870 Of course it is. 41:19.910 --> 41:20.631 Are you watching that? 41:20.951 --> 41:22.012 No, of course I'm not. 41:22.152 --> 41:25.496 Actually, we watched it last week because it was the emotional pornography one. 41:25.596 --> 41:26.297 That's right. 41:26.317 --> 41:27.538 It was the nervous breakdown one. 41:27.558 --> 41:29.280 And that for me is the climax of the series. 41:29.340 --> 41:30.381 It's just downhill from here. 41:30.401 --> 41:32.243 I don't usually... As soon as they get in the studio, I don't care. 41:32.483 --> 41:35.026 I don't usually watch the thing, but I did tune in last week. 41:35.046 --> 41:36.307 My wife was excited about it. 41:37.108 --> 41:39.510 And, uh, yeah, the emotional pornography. 41:39.870 --> 41:41.412 So the deal is right. 41:42.193 --> 41:46.037 Um, before you find out the judge's decision, you're asked how you're going to respond. 41:46.537 --> 41:47.838 The, the, the contestants are. 41:47.959 --> 41:48.199 Yes. 41:48.699 --> 41:51.302 What you're saying, the production staff ask them how they're going to respond. 41:51.562 --> 41:53.404 Yeah, no, like in the VT packages, right? 41:53.624 --> 41:59.688 They sort of say before they find out just, you know, if they're going through to the next round, they sort of say, you know, how are you going to... How will you feel? 41:59.789 --> 42:00.089 Yeah. 42:00.469 --> 42:04.792 And so they sort of say, I'm going to be absolutely... And they've got to outdo each other for how gutted they're going to be. 42:05.033 --> 42:05.633 Is that the deal? 42:06.033 --> 42:08.235 And they've got to say, yeah, I'm going to be absolutely miserable. 42:08.936 --> 42:10.197 My life's never going to be the same again. 42:10.217 --> 42:20.425 I'll have to go back to my pathetic life and go back to the nursing home and help people, like some kind of loser, you know, and that'll be a disaster area. 42:21.586 --> 42:26.391 But presumably they have to make it sound as bad as possible to show that they're serious about wanting to win, right? 42:26.411 --> 42:26.491 Yeah. 42:27.172 --> 42:32.738 And then when they find out the result, when they find out they are going home, then they just lose the plot. 42:33.078 --> 42:34.960 Sometimes their legs collapse. 42:35.501 --> 42:35.621 Yeah. 42:35.641 --> 42:37.083 Sometimes their legs collapse. 42:37.123 --> 42:40.687 Their legs absolutely collapse and their heads explode. 42:40.827 --> 42:41.387 Sometimes. 42:42.108 --> 42:54.796 I was having dinner with an American lady this week and she said on American X Factor, she watched that show of British X Factor and said that she was really shocked by how demeaning it was for the contestants. 42:54.816 --> 42:56.137 How is it more noble in the States? 42:58.658 --> 43:00.679 propose that their life is going to be destroyed. 43:00.780 --> 43:03.121 They keep their basic integrity intact. 43:03.722 --> 43:07.324 And they would never reduce somebody to a tearful crumbling wreck. 43:07.664 --> 43:09.005 No, I don't believe that. 43:09.065 --> 43:10.046 Well, she maintained that. 43:10.066 --> 43:13.188 America is the stronghold of tearful crumbling wrecks, isn't it? 43:13.448 --> 43:16.390 No, but in America, generally, you don't destroy people. 43:16.410 --> 43:20.533 You know, things are more aspirational and, you know, it's a more positive atmosphere. 43:20.553 --> 43:21.894 You've got something to look forward to. 43:21.914 --> 43:22.274 Yeah. 43:23.035 --> 43:25.056 We like to really stamp people into the ground. 43:25.076 --> 43:27.718 But the crying is out of control. 43:27.958 --> 43:33.222 Yeah, I mean it's like if you don't cry now, then you you're an idiot and you don't deserve to be on the show, right? 43:33.902 --> 43:36.944 But what you know, it's just completely gone mental. 43:37.524 --> 43:38.165 Mm-hmm, right? 43:39.166 --> 43:39.886 Everyone is crying. 43:39.906 --> 43:48.152 We're talking about the guy from alone in the wild crying James cracknalls crying You know what? 43:48.852 --> 43:55.216 I caught four seconds of loose women the my least favorite television and they were talking about it as well And it's up on the screen. 43:55.276 --> 43:57.678 It said we guarantee you not to cry 43:58.038 --> 43:58.478 Oh, okay. 43:58.598 --> 44:01.880 And I thought, oh no, they're talking about crying as well. 44:02.180 --> 44:07.083 What would happen if everything we talked about on this show was also talked about on Loose Women? 44:07.103 --> 44:10.044 Well, it would mean that we had a wide demographic appeal. 44:10.264 --> 44:10.585 Yeah. 44:10.845 --> 44:15.147 And we were shoring up a certain part of that demographic by being men. 44:15.167 --> 44:19.409 That was quite a technical explanation. 44:19.489 --> 44:20.690 Anyway, listen, that's a tangent. 44:20.710 --> 44:21.650 So yeah, crying. 44:21.950 --> 44:22.611 Crying, yeah. 44:23.271 --> 44:31.539 I mean, how does it... Well, you've now absolutely torpedoed the whole thing by just talking about loose women as if that's supposed to make me feel good about anything. 44:31.599 --> 44:32.960 Well, maybe that's where we're headed. 44:33.300 --> 44:34.141 No, it's not. 44:34.181 --> 44:35.943 You could have just gone along with the talking about crying. 44:35.963 --> 44:37.364 No, I like talking about crying. 44:37.764 --> 44:42.248 Which is an interesting subject instead of saying, you know what, they're talking about some loose women. 44:42.269 --> 44:43.770 Well, you've got to admit that's frightening. 44:43.830 --> 44:44.410 No, I don't. 44:45.891 --> 44:47.352 I can't ignore the loose women. 44:47.372 --> 44:48.854 Why are you watching loose women? 44:48.894 --> 44:52.657 Because I happen to turn the telly on at lunchtime. 44:52.857 --> 44:58.542 If you turn the telly on and loose women is on there, you turn it off or you pull the plug out. 44:59.242 --> 45:02.445 Yeah, but it's got evil powers. 45:03.806 --> 45:04.547 Which one are you attracting? 45:04.647 --> 45:06.589 It's like on loose women. 45:06.649 --> 45:07.329 Yeah, if you had to. 45:07.349 --> 45:07.830 The desk. 45:08.991 --> 45:09.511 No, no, no. 45:09.571 --> 45:10.012 Which one? 45:10.152 --> 45:10.372 Come on. 45:10.649 --> 45:11.089 They won't. 45:11.109 --> 45:11.470 They won't. 45:11.510 --> 45:12.190 They revolve. 45:12.250 --> 45:12.971 They rotate. 45:14.132 --> 45:15.333 They all attach to the desk. 45:15.673 --> 45:16.233 Which one? 45:16.313 --> 45:16.633 Come on. 45:16.854 --> 45:17.734 If you really had to. 45:20.036 --> 45:20.736 Name some of them. 45:22.258 --> 45:23.979 A Mandy Splash. 45:25.460 --> 45:26.841 A Mandy Splash. 45:26.881 --> 45:27.181 Yeah. 45:27.642 --> 45:28.422 Do you need Runtal? 45:28.482 --> 45:29.483 Is she the Irish one? 45:29.503 --> 45:29.843 Frontal. 45:29.863 --> 45:30.364 Frontal. 45:30.424 --> 45:30.784 Yeah. 45:31.705 --> 45:33.166 No, that's Dorit Dorit. 45:36.239 --> 45:37.499 That's Doreen O'Hary. 45:40.320 --> 45:42.521 Ronam O'Clock. 45:42.861 --> 45:44.822 Ronam O'Clockback. 45:48.683 --> 45:49.383 Yeah, all of them. 45:50.083 --> 45:51.244 Would you? 45:52.324 --> 45:54.505 I'd take the really angry old one. 45:56.065 --> 45:57.646 Well, that's not very specific. 45:58.166 --> 45:58.786 It's not, is it? 45:59.706 --> 46:00.927 Are we really going to play the streets? 46:00.987 --> 46:02.007 Dry your eyes right now, Ben. 46:02.930 --> 46:05.150 Oh no, I've slightly ruined that avenue by poo-pooing it. 46:05.230 --> 46:06.511 We're gonna play the horrors instead. 46:06.611 --> 46:07.391 Whole new way. 46:07.431 --> 46:07.891 Here it is! 46:08.171 --> 46:08.751 Good effort. 46:09.291 --> 46:09.751 Very good. 46:09.791 --> 46:11.331 That's the horrors with whole new way. 46:11.351 --> 46:13.272 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 46:13.332 --> 46:14.012 It's just gone 10.30. 46:14.432 --> 46:15.072 Time for the news. 46:15.272 --> 46:18.613 It's the Manic Street Preachers with Your Love Alone is Not Enough. 46:18.813 --> 46:19.493 Is that what it's called? 46:19.993 --> 46:20.253 Yes. 46:20.373 --> 46:21.793 I'm just looking up some facts about it. 46:21.973 --> 46:22.313 Facts. 46:22.373 --> 46:23.894 We're gonna get some facts in a second. 46:24.254 --> 46:25.614 Stay tuned for facts, listeners. 46:25.694 --> 46:28.154 Any second now, it's gonna be Text the Nation time as well. 46:28.554 --> 46:29.675 So that's very exciting. 46:29.695 --> 46:30.755 Have you got your facts yet? 46:30.775 --> 46:30.955 No. 46:31.875 --> 46:33.135 It's taking a long time. 46:33.155 --> 46:33.935 Which page are they on? 46:35.256 --> 46:35.716 I don't know. 46:36.476 --> 46:43.597 Your Love Alone Is Not Enough, the Manic Street Preachers, featuring Nina Pearson from Loose Women. 46:44.117 --> 46:47.518 Your Love Alone Is Not Enough is taken from the album Send Away the Tigers. 46:47.618 --> 46:54.779 The song uses the lyric, You stole the sun from my heart, which is the name of another classic Manic Street Preachers album, Menic. 46:55.159 --> 46:56.320 It was released on the 30th of May 2007 46:58.680 --> 47:01.581 Why am I reading out all these facts about a two-year-old song? 47:02.162 --> 47:02.842 You tell us. 47:03.442 --> 47:04.322 I'm an idiot. 47:04.703 --> 47:05.483 Yes, you are. 47:05.523 --> 47:07.444 Alright, listen, let's launch Text-o-nation, shall we? 47:10.005 --> 47:10.745 Text-o-nation! 47:10.865 --> 47:11.945 Text, text, text! 47:12.046 --> 47:12.786 Text-o-nation! 47:12.826 --> 47:13.766 What if I don't want to? 47:13.786 --> 47:14.787 Text-o-nation! 47:14.867 --> 47:15.867 But I'm using email. 47:16.047 --> 47:16.767 Is that a problem? 47:16.807 --> 47:17.648 It doesn't matter, text! 47:19.901 --> 47:26.103 So Text the Nation, this week, listeners, is going to be about celebrity or famous name repurposing. 47:26.183 --> 47:34.685 And this is where you use the name of a famous person in your everyday life as a kind of way of denoting something else. 47:35.086 --> 47:35.306 Yeah. 47:35.386 --> 47:36.546 OK, here are some examples. 47:37.426 --> 47:47.169 If I want to personally, if I want to say to somebody, are you sure, you know, find out whether they're certain about something and I want to reiterate that, I might say, are you sure? 47:47.189 --> 47:49.210 Yeah, but are you poorly sure? 47:49.850 --> 47:50.810 Yeah? 47:51.090 --> 47:51.731 He's a comedian. 47:51.771 --> 47:52.671 He's an American comedian. 47:52.691 --> 47:53.031 It's easy. 47:53.111 --> 47:53.951 It's as simple as that. 47:53.971 --> 47:54.472 Here's another one. 47:55.052 --> 48:01.674 If I say to my girlfriend, I'm just off to have a bath, I sometimes like to call it a bee arth, right? 48:01.734 --> 48:03.255 As if there's a full stop after the bee. 48:03.675 --> 48:07.056 And then that mutates into, I'm just off to have a bee arthur. 48:07.736 --> 48:08.857 Who's one of the golden girls. 48:08.917 --> 48:09.197 Yeah. 48:09.297 --> 48:09.997 Who's bee arthur. 48:10.197 --> 48:10.677 Oh, I see. 48:10.737 --> 48:11.377 Right. 48:11.478 --> 48:12.618 I'm going to have a bath. 48:12.778 --> 48:12.978 Yeah. 48:13.078 --> 48:14.138 I'm off to have a bee arthur. 48:14.218 --> 48:14.399 Yeah. 48:14.499 --> 48:15.619 I'm just going to have a bee arthur. 48:15.899 --> 48:17.300 Which is a very different prospect. 48:17.581 --> 48:18.842 Yeah. 48:19.102 --> 48:19.863 Equally cleansing. 48:19.983 --> 48:20.444 Certainly. 48:21.204 --> 48:22.465 Or here's a third example. 48:23.106 --> 48:32.315 The other day I was watching a film on television that will remain nameless and it was kind of not very well directed, I thought. 48:32.856 --> 48:35.698 So I said to my girlfriend, is this directed by Michael Flatley? 48:36.599 --> 48:38.100 I didn't see where that's going. 48:38.140 --> 48:39.502 Because the direction's very flat. 48:39.522 --> 48:41.623 I said, well, it's very flatly directed. 48:41.783 --> 48:42.284 Yes. 48:42.404 --> 48:43.885 So that's the kind of thing we're after. 48:44.626 --> 48:50.070 If you, like, taking famous names and using them in everyday conversation to just to pep things up. 48:50.090 --> 48:52.773 What did your girlfriend do when you said that? 48:52.793 --> 48:53.613 She said, how do I love you? 48:53.633 --> 48:55.115 You're so clever and sexy. 48:55.635 --> 48:56.976 Then we... Let's go to bed. 48:57.257 --> 48:57.557 Yes. 48:57.617 --> 48:57.877 Yeah. 48:58.337 --> 48:58.818 Well done. 48:59.078 --> 48:59.739 Like a flatly. 49:00.359 --> 49:22.272 very nice so send in your suggestions i've only got those three i'm sure there's some in um there's a good episode of Seinfeld when they they're looking at someone sunbathing topless and one of them says yo yo ma that's good and then uh famous cellist then jerry comes back with your cellist uh yeah oh he i think is he and then jerry comes back with butras butras 49:25.153 --> 49:26.594 That's exactly what we're looking for. 49:26.634 --> 49:28.114 The text number is 64046. 49:28.815 --> 49:34.057 We've only got an hour and 17 minutes left on this textination, so get them coming in if you do the same thing. 49:34.117 --> 49:37.878 If you repurpose celebrity names in everyday chit-chat, please tell us. 49:37.898 --> 49:39.999 It's just a fun little thing that we can... It's just a fun little thing. 49:40.079 --> 49:41.600 Throughout the show, like hundreds and thousands. 49:41.620 --> 49:42.400 Like a little bit of pepper. 49:42.420 --> 49:46.902 It's like a little fun bit of pepper, or hundreds and thousands, or salt. 49:46.922 --> 49:48.222 Don't go overexcited about it. 49:48.382 --> 49:49.243 It's like sprinkles. 49:49.263 --> 49:50.423 It's like sprinkles on the show. 49:50.443 --> 49:51.424 It's like a fun thing. 49:51.444 --> 49:51.524 Yeah. 49:52.304 --> 50:00.013 Don't get excited about it. 50:00.473 --> 50:01.775 Here's a free play. 50:01.875 --> 50:03.957 This is from the soundtrack of the film The Wicker Man. 50:03.997 --> 50:05.339 This is by Paul Giovanni. 50:05.659 --> 50:06.921 This is called the Maple Song. 50:07.341 --> 50:08.141 This is Supergrass. 50:08.181 --> 50:08.661 Sorry, Adam. 50:08.681 --> 50:09.242 It's all right, man. 50:09.262 --> 50:10.182 I'm going to take care of this one. 50:10.242 --> 50:11.982 I was going to say the Magnificent Supergrass. 50:12.262 --> 50:13.823 Ah, with, what's the song called? 50:13.863 --> 50:14.323 Grace. 50:14.503 --> 50:14.983 Grace, yeah. 50:15.043 --> 50:20.765 And at 3.30 tomorrow, here on BBC Six Music, you can hear Supergrass presenting a month of Sundays. 50:20.785 --> 50:22.766 Well, you can hear Gaz and Danny from Supergrass. 50:22.786 --> 50:23.666 Okay, I'm sorry. 50:23.906 --> 50:25.206 But not Mickey. 50:25.626 --> 50:29.147 You know, it's not Supergrass if it's not all three key members of the band. 50:29.167 --> 50:29.648 Gaz and Danny. 50:30.348 --> 50:31.028 Gaz and Danny. 50:31.448 --> 50:31.648 Yeah. 50:31.828 --> 50:33.790 I mean, they are, of course, key members. 50:33.970 --> 50:36.992 But apparently, it's a really Wickles program. 50:37.032 --> 50:37.412 Yeah, very funny. 50:37.432 --> 50:39.553 Because they recorded it in whose house? 50:39.753 --> 50:41.214 Gazz's house in Oxfordshire. 50:41.234 --> 50:43.355 You shouldn't start talking if you haven't got all the facts. 50:44.556 --> 50:46.097 Well... You know, because you launched in there. 50:46.758 --> 50:49.319 That was Supergrass with... You didn't know the name of the song. 50:49.699 --> 50:54.042 If that's true, I've been, you know, in error for how many years now? 50:54.322 --> 50:54.602 I know. 50:54.622 --> 50:55.543 I mean, that was massive. 50:55.983 --> 50:57.044 I started talking in about 1996. 50:57.084 --> 50:57.864 Hot calling kettle black. 51:00.806 --> 51:02.347 But you're right, I was very ill-informed. 51:02.367 --> 51:04.689 I took over the link and then I just didn't have the equipment. 51:04.749 --> 51:05.229 Steamed in there. 51:06.350 --> 51:13.795 So anyway, but at 3.30 tomorrow, and it's supposed to be really funny, all sorts of stuff went down there in the not-super-grasses house. 51:13.895 --> 51:15.336 No, just Gaz and Danny. 51:15.376 --> 51:15.956 What are you doing? 51:15.976 --> 51:18.878 Why haven't you climbed out of that particular pit? 51:19.078 --> 51:19.919 I like it. 51:19.939 --> 51:21.040 It's dark and cosy. 51:21.100 --> 51:25.342 Yeah, 3.30 Gaz and Danny tomorrow for Month of Sundays here on BBC Six Music. 51:25.763 --> 51:27.284 Let's have the Made Up Jokes Jingle Band. 51:28.283 --> 51:45.140 I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made up joke party 51:45.980 --> 51:49.163 So the idea here, listeners, is these are authored jokes, right? 51:49.403 --> 51:49.563 Yeah. 51:49.643 --> 51:53.887 You have to be honest about it and send us in jokes that you've actually thought of. 51:54.288 --> 52:00.173 We're going to apply various rigorous criteria to them to make sure we only get the freshest baked jokes. 52:00.493 --> 52:06.098 And there's been an awful lot of controversy about who's been stealing whose jokes and who's been claiming that there's jokes with theirs. 52:06.358 --> 52:08.940 Sophie Ellis-Bekster was on Twitter the other day. 52:09.161 --> 52:10.822 Using the Schwarzenegger jokes. 52:10.982 --> 52:13.584 Yeah, I still love Easter, baby. 52:13.904 --> 52:15.485 And she was using it uncredited. 52:15.645 --> 52:21.869 But then, if we get upset about that, that's inferring that we, or the person who sent us that joke, made it up. 52:22.749 --> 52:23.490 Do we think that? 52:23.810 --> 52:24.951 Well, I don't know. 52:24.991 --> 52:26.692 You see, you get into difficult territory, don't you? 52:26.712 --> 52:29.173 You see, again, Asta LaVista, baby, when does that date from? 52:30.174 --> 52:31.535 Well, that's the 80s, isn't it? 52:31.915 --> 52:32.495 Late 80s? 52:32.575 --> 52:33.036 Exactly. 52:33.096 --> 52:34.436 So someone must have thought of that. 52:34.737 --> 52:36.357 I still love Easter, baby. 52:36.538 --> 52:36.998 I don't know. 52:38.078 --> 52:41.400 Anyway, here's a message as well from someone else who feels very wronged. 52:41.860 --> 52:48.124 Messers, Buxton and Cornish, he says, this is Simon and he says, I'm a 24 year old architect and find great joy in your podcast. 52:48.564 --> 52:49.666 which I enjoy very much. 52:50.146 --> 52:56.634 You might remember me as I was the one who kindly sent you my Bad Minton joke earlier in the year. 52:57.335 --> 53:02.582 I was listening this week and I was deeply saddened by you accrediting my joke to Tim Vine. 53:02.602 --> 53:03.643 That was you saying that joke. 53:03.823 --> 53:06.364 Well, I think somebody sent that in as an accusation. 53:06.444 --> 53:08.644 Who the bloody hell is Tim Vine? 53:08.664 --> 53:11.265 And I'm sorry about that swearing, they're listeners. 53:11.685 --> 53:18.527 A lot of my friends listen to your podcasts, and when you read out my joke, I enjoyed near celebrity status for a while. 53:18.807 --> 53:19.807 Well, a week anyway. 53:20.147 --> 53:24.749 Especially after you used my joke in the Glastonbury tent, which we did, we read out like the best, our favourite jokes. 53:24.789 --> 53:25.509 It went down very well. 53:25.569 --> 53:26.169 It's a good joke. 53:26.229 --> 53:27.310 There's no doubting that. 53:27.570 --> 53:28.651 Can you remind us what the joke was? 53:29.371 --> 53:30.932 My dog ate a shuttlecock. 53:31.233 --> 53:33.114 My dog, Minton, ate a shuttlecock. 53:33.494 --> 53:34.175 Bad Minton. 53:34.195 --> 53:34.755 It's a smash. 53:34.855 --> 53:35.335 It's a smash. 53:35.395 --> 53:42.881 He says, now you've thrown my contribution to your show back in my face in capitals and you've ridiculed me in front of the nation. 53:43.161 --> 53:50.646 I can genuinely say I did author that joke and I now apologize for trying to spread a little joy and contribute to the magic you chaps reduce on the airwaves. 53:50.886 --> 53:53.028 Maybe this Tim Vine chap 53:53.308 --> 53:54.708 nicked the joke off me, eh? 53:54.768 --> 53:55.489 What about that? 53:55.989 --> 53:59.770 Summary of this ranting email in Captain Duck children's book style. 53:59.990 --> 54:02.390 This is something we did on the podcast the other day. 54:02.410 --> 54:04.491 We did an intro in like a children's book. 54:04.791 --> 54:07.752 He says, my mint and joke read on Adam and Joe. 54:08.032 --> 54:10.132 How proud could I be to get on the show? 54:10.572 --> 54:13.193 But after using the joke, the joy is short lived. 54:13.513 --> 54:15.735 Buckles and corn balls just called me a div. 54:16.055 --> 54:17.816 I tell you the truth, this isn't a wine. 54:18.116 --> 54:20.117 I've never even heard of chuffing Tim Vine. 54:20.538 --> 54:22.999 No faith in this listener has caused me great pain. 54:23.340 --> 54:26.041 Oh Adam and Jo, Jo, redeem my good name. 54:26.382 --> 54:28.743 Kind regards, must get back to work, Simon." 54:29.444 --> 54:35.428 So thanks Simon, and I'm sorry, you know, sorry if you feel you've been humiliated and your jokes been misdirected, the credit's been misdirected there. 54:35.888 --> 54:37.969 But I hope you feel as if justice has been done now. 54:38.510 --> 54:39.971 And that's the end of Made Up Chokes this week. 54:42.072 --> 54:42.392 It's not. 54:42.432 --> 54:43.653 We've actually got some real ones. 54:43.673 --> 54:44.314 Have you got one there, Joe? 54:44.334 --> 54:44.914 Yeah, here's one. 54:44.954 --> 54:46.175 This is a short punchy one. 54:46.375 --> 54:47.495 Here's one from John Gibbons. 54:47.856 --> 54:50.157 How does Alan Sugar get his kids to go to bed? 54:50.917 --> 54:51.578 You're tired. 54:52.118 --> 54:52.418 Nice. 54:52.638 --> 54:53.099 I like that one. 54:53.119 --> 54:53.619 It's practical. 54:53.759 --> 54:54.099 That's good. 54:54.119 --> 54:54.800 It's a household joke. 54:54.820 --> 54:55.260 It's useful. 54:55.420 --> 55:02.044 All right, let's keep it short and punchy with this one from... Oh, he's someone in Kathmandu. 55:02.104 --> 55:02.985 I didn't write down the name. 55:03.025 --> 55:03.625 What a joke. 55:04.325 --> 55:05.386 It's a good joke as well. 55:05.886 --> 55:08.248 What sort of food does Sean Connery refuse to share? 55:08.788 --> 55:09.248 I don't know. 55:09.709 --> 55:10.089 Shelfish. 55:12.056 --> 55:13.497 I mean, that's probably not authored. 55:13.937 --> 55:15.237 There's probably been a few authors there. 55:15.257 --> 55:16.118 What's wrong with that? 55:16.138 --> 55:16.858 Well, I don't know. 55:16.938 --> 55:17.458 I don't know. 55:17.658 --> 55:18.118 Shellfish. 55:18.718 --> 55:21.979 It's a good partner to... Well, because we read out tennis as well, didn't we? 55:22.059 --> 55:22.880 Yeah, that's good too. 55:23.300 --> 55:24.180 That would be good in a marathon. 55:24.200 --> 55:25.861 Here's one I think is probably authored. 55:25.881 --> 55:29.482 Oh no, I haven't put the name down on this one either. 55:29.822 --> 55:30.342 Sorry about that. 55:30.362 --> 55:31.562 It's been a shaky week. 55:32.142 --> 55:36.864 Why can I always rely on my friend, the baking raster bird? 55:39.125 --> 55:40.586 Because he's my bread-ren. 55:41.447 --> 55:42.528 Bread-ren. 55:42.568 --> 55:45.550 That's like an inner city kind of an urban joke. 55:45.630 --> 55:46.210 Yeah, boy. 55:46.551 --> 55:46.931 Yeah. 55:47.051 --> 55:48.952 That's down on the front line there telling that joke. 55:49.453 --> 55:55.077 Here's one from Brendan Blackshaw in Watford, and this is the first of a couple of incredibly technical ones, right? 55:55.117 --> 55:55.637 Good, good. 55:56.017 --> 56:03.522 What do you call a group of bad writers who are pregnant and living in South London when they experience false contractions? 56:04.423 --> 56:05.323 Brixton Hacks. 56:06.043 --> 56:10.465 It says, Adam, you may need to explain this one to Joe, as it's probably one for mums and dads. 56:10.725 --> 56:11.985 Love the show, but did you get that one, Joe? 56:12.005 --> 56:15.326 But then again, I live in Brixton, so I should at least be able to get half of it. 56:15.506 --> 56:16.906 Have you heard of Brixton Hicks? 56:17.306 --> 56:17.966 No, what is that? 56:18.006 --> 56:22.868 Yeah, they're contractions like phantom contractions that come at the beginning of... Is that somebody's name? 56:23.308 --> 56:23.948 Brixton Hicks. 56:24.048 --> 56:28.852 Well, presumably the phenomenon was named after a medical person called Braxton Hicks. 56:28.972 --> 56:30.913 Would that be a nice thing to have named after you? 56:32.334 --> 56:33.395 Phantom Contractions. 56:33.675 --> 56:35.937 Is there a band called Phantom Contractions? 56:36.177 --> 56:37.258 Well, maybe there is now. 56:37.278 --> 56:37.779 That should be. 56:38.079 --> 56:39.300 That's a good joke though, Brendan. 56:39.320 --> 56:39.940 Yeah, that is good. 56:40.120 --> 56:41.902 Here's one from James in Melbourne. 56:42.582 --> 56:47.346 Hi guys, a couple of nights ago, while I was asleep and dreaming, I thought of a joke and it went like this. 56:47.866 --> 56:50.849 What do you call an elderly lady detective with a weight problem? 56:51.649 --> 56:53.010 Glandula Lansbury. 56:53.110 --> 56:53.411 Nice! 56:55.572 --> 56:56.813 I read that one, that made me chuckle a bit. 56:56.833 --> 56:57.054 That's good. 56:57.094 --> 56:58.995 Do you want another technical one? 56:59.075 --> 56:59.375 Yes. 57:00.917 --> 57:02.218 This is from Nick in Nottingham. 57:02.338 --> 57:03.779 Dear buckles and corn balls, hi. 57:04.139 --> 57:06.001 This is a joke my friend Henry made up. 57:06.061 --> 57:06.922 He's very proud of it. 57:07.282 --> 57:07.682 Question. 57:07.983 --> 57:09.324 How much does energy cost? 57:09.944 --> 57:11.485 answer ATP. 57:12.146 --> 57:26.958 And then he goes on to explain, in biology ATP, the letters, stands for adenosine triphosphate, which is an energy source produced during cellular respiration and viewed by biologists to be the energy currency of life. 57:27.279 --> 57:32.683 This is basic GCSE science, so hopefully the joke will find a wide audience that it so richly deserves. 57:32.963 --> 57:33.764 Love the show guys. 57:34.104 --> 57:35.846 Nicky Nottingham, ATP. 57:35.886 --> 57:36.727 That's funny, that's funny. 57:37.307 --> 57:40.550 I mean, it's not a belly laugh, because it's very academic. 57:41.210 --> 57:42.472 It's a kind of intellectual titter. 57:42.652 --> 57:45.534 It's not the kind of thing that Peter Kay is going to be wheeling out. 57:45.554 --> 57:48.837 No, it's a sort of rarefied Jeeves and Worcester chuckle. 57:49.077 --> 57:49.378 Yeah. 57:49.518 --> 57:51.359 Well, I could see Michael McIntyre doing it, though. 57:51.559 --> 57:54.502 We've had some trouble with Harry Potter jokes in the recent past. 57:55.022 --> 58:01.048 They're controversial things, but here's one I think there'll be no arguing over from Christopher Matheson in New York City. 58:01.929 --> 58:19.871 Hi Adam and Jo, I know you're both film buffs, but did you hear about that new film about a speleologist working out of the Zimbabwean capital who would get very angry every time he had to excrete either saliva from his mouth or flatulence from his buttocks? 58:21.212 --> 58:28.097 It was called Harare Pothola and the gob stroke let off ire. 58:28.777 --> 58:30.238 Oh my goodness. 58:30.278 --> 58:36.863 Harare Pothola and the gob let off ire. 58:36.903 --> 58:37.623 Did you get it? 58:37.984 --> 58:39.625 Christopher Matheson in New York City. 58:39.885 --> 58:40.766 I mean that's brilliant. 58:40.926 --> 58:42.667 You know what, I heard that on Mock the Week last week. 58:42.687 --> 58:43.027 Did you? 58:43.087 --> 58:43.347 Yeah. 58:44.268 --> 58:45.209 That one's doing the rounds. 58:45.989 --> 58:47.570 Thank you very much for all your made-up jokes. 58:47.610 --> 58:48.431 Have you got one last one? 58:48.631 --> 58:50.532 What does Mr. Miyagi do to relax? 58:51.412 --> 58:51.833 Wax off. 58:53.253 --> 58:53.874 You can't tell that. 58:54.034 --> 58:54.674 I can't tell that. 58:54.734 --> 58:56.275 That was from... Who's that from? 58:56.295 --> 58:56.715 Take it back. 58:57.056 --> 58:57.556 Will the Thrill. 58:57.596 --> 58:58.096 I take it back. 58:58.156 --> 58:59.417 No, it's like wax on, wax off. 59:00.165 --> 59:00.746 Wax on. 59:00.886 --> 59:01.967 Is that what Mr. Miyagi says? 59:02.047 --> 59:04.549 Yeah, when he trains the kid in the karate kid. 59:04.569 --> 59:04.870 Does he? 59:05.090 --> 59:05.290 Yeah. 59:05.891 --> 59:06.691 He does have a double meaning. 59:06.711 --> 59:08.053 You didn't explain that bit though, did you? 59:08.113 --> 59:09.394 Well, Mr. Miyagi. 59:09.594 --> 59:11.116 Everyone knows who Mr. Miyagi is. 59:11.176 --> 59:12.177 I didn't know that. 59:12.257 --> 59:13.338 I know who Mr. Miyagi is. 59:13.378 --> 59:15.660 I didn't know the technical term for what he does wax on wax on. 59:15.720 --> 59:16.461 Are you shocked? 59:16.901 --> 59:17.742 I'm really shocked. 59:18.223 --> 59:20.385 We've had... this has been a racy scene. 59:21.245 --> 59:22.846 It's a dangerous program. 59:23.746 --> 59:24.886 This program's edgy. 59:24.906 --> 59:25.526 This is edgy. 59:25.706 --> 59:25.906 Ouch. 59:26.507 --> 59:26.747 Ouch. 59:27.007 --> 59:27.427 Stop that. 59:27.567 --> 59:28.247 I've cut myself. 59:28.307 --> 59:29.967 This is Rijksop with This Must Be It. 59:30.087 --> 59:33.588 This is the voice of the big British castle. 59:33.989 --> 59:37.149 You are listening to animature on six music. 59:37.529 --> 59:39.270 We are on top of the hour. 59:45.160 --> 01:00:07.770 the ATP joke has caused some controversy an email from Ellen James sorry but that joke is such an old one loved by biologists worldwide an alternative is quote can I have a pint of energy please that'll be ATP another email from Tom Williamson Adam and Joe I my rate jokes that confuse ATP with ATP have been around for years magazine to a bar orders a pint of 01:00:08.510 --> 01:00:09.991 Adenos sign, try us fate. 01:00:10.271 --> 01:00:12.332 The farmer goes, certainly sir, that'll be ATP. 01:00:12.532 --> 01:00:14.013 Old, ringed out and worthless. 01:00:14.894 --> 01:00:15.794 Says Tom in Liverpool. 01:00:15.874 --> 01:00:19.096 Actually, that could be like a good little neat description of this show. 01:00:19.557 --> 01:00:20.977 Old, ringed out and worthless. 01:00:21.037 --> 01:00:22.278 Or just us as the duo. 01:00:22.718 --> 01:00:23.639 That's not very nice. 01:00:23.679 --> 01:00:24.599 It's not very nice. 01:00:24.900 --> 01:00:26.741 It's kind of... But it's edgy. 01:00:27.001 --> 01:00:28.242 It's edgy, isn't it? 01:00:28.302 --> 01:00:29.362 And this is the theme of the show. 01:00:29.382 --> 01:00:30.123 It's an edgy show. 01:00:31.243 --> 01:00:33.945 So, um, listen, you know when you get annoyed, Adam? 01:00:34.465 --> 01:00:35.065 Uh, adenoid. 01:00:35.406 --> 01:00:38.647 And sometimes you, you know, ask for a chill cake. 01:00:39.008 --> 01:00:39.308 Sure. 01:00:39.628 --> 01:00:40.969 Can I have a slice of chill cake? 01:00:41.449 --> 01:00:41.709 Yeah. 01:00:42.430 --> 01:00:47.232 Uh, I was waiting for you to get annoyed about something in the show to do this, but you seem fairly sanguine. 01:00:47.252 --> 01:00:47.973 Oh, yeah. 01:00:47.993 --> 01:00:48.873 Well, you know, we're very level-headed. 01:00:48.893 --> 01:00:49.974 Because someone's made us a chill cake. 01:00:50.294 --> 01:00:51.074 No, have they? 01:00:51.094 --> 01:00:51.835 Yeah, look at this. 01:00:52.115 --> 01:00:53.135 Well, I'm annoyed about my arm. 01:00:53.195 --> 01:00:54.316 I'd love some chill cake. 01:00:54.756 --> 01:00:55.377 Who said it to us? 01:00:55.417 --> 01:00:56.637 How do we know it's not poison chill cake? 01:00:56.657 --> 01:00:57.278 Tom Williamson. 01:00:58.143 --> 01:00:58.743 Well we don't. 01:00:59.124 --> 01:01:03.027 Here Adam and Jo, I have finally got round to baking and sending you a chill cake. 01:01:03.087 --> 01:01:03.867 Wow! 01:01:04.007 --> 01:01:11.873 It's a double layered sponge cake, flavoured with mint, filled with real whipped cream, I'm just unwrapping it here listeners, and topped with dark chocolate. 01:01:11.933 --> 01:01:15.756 Perfect, because mint is the key ingredient for any chillaxing session. 01:01:15.956 --> 01:01:17.297 I've made it for some friends. 01:01:17.557 --> 01:01:19.899 I assume he means he's, you know, tested out the recipe. 01:01:19.979 --> 01:01:20.159 Yeah. 01:01:20.280 --> 01:01:23.362 One of them told me it tasted like the cake equivalent of a Viscount biscuit. 01:01:23.562 --> 01:01:25.604 Ooh, nice biscuit. 01:01:26.645 --> 01:01:27.305 So here it is. 01:01:27.405 --> 01:01:33.470 I mean, one of the things that you're not supposed to do when you're a presenter is eat things that are sent to you. 01:01:33.510 --> 01:01:34.351 Especially on the radio. 01:01:34.591 --> 01:01:35.572 Yeah, why is that? 01:01:35.612 --> 01:01:40.156 That's something just that you sort of come to know early in any sort of broadcasting career, right? 01:01:40.196 --> 01:01:46.262 Because yeah, because you never know if drugs or maybe like a loon has sent it to you But we what are we doing? 01:01:46.282 --> 01:01:47.443 We're just assuming a chill cake. 01:01:47.503 --> 01:01:52.027 Oh, so I'm eating the chill cake You have to have some as well as your chill cake 01:01:52.327 --> 01:01:55.710 Otherwise, I'm just gonna be... It's a nice looking cake, isn't it? 01:01:55.750 --> 01:01:56.870 Either dying or tripping on my own. 01:01:56.891 --> 01:01:57.451 Tom, that's fantastic. 01:01:58.031 --> 01:02:00.173 There's the cake, and it smells very chilled. 01:02:00.193 --> 01:02:03.055 You know, a member of the band Bear Suit made me a cake the other day. 01:02:03.075 --> 01:02:03.295 Really? 01:02:03.395 --> 01:02:06.218 Yeah, they came along to a bug gig that I did. 01:02:06.238 --> 01:02:06.858 Did you eat that cake? 01:02:06.898 --> 01:02:09.080 No, I... You know, me and my whole family ate it. 01:02:09.340 --> 01:02:09.520 Did you? 01:02:09.600 --> 01:02:10.541 It was delicious. 01:02:10.561 --> 01:02:11.682 Why did you start saying, no, I chu... 01:02:12.282 --> 01:02:14.123 No, no, no, I said I absolutely loved it. 01:02:14.183 --> 01:02:14.904 It was amazing. 01:02:15.424 --> 01:02:17.585 I said, you know, I ate every single little bit. 01:02:17.865 --> 01:02:19.827 So is this... Cut us a slice of chill cake, Ben. 01:02:19.907 --> 01:02:21.868 Is the aroma making us feel more chilled? 01:02:21.888 --> 01:02:22.448 I don't know. 01:02:22.728 --> 01:02:26.170 Hey, Ben, listen, let's have the text-to-nation jingle while we're having some chill cake, okay? 01:02:28.572 --> 01:02:29.252 Text-to-nation. 01:02:29.412 --> 01:02:30.493 Text, text, text. 01:02:30.593 --> 01:02:31.333 Text-to-nation. 01:02:31.413 --> 01:02:32.354 What if I don't want to? 01:02:32.614 --> 01:02:33.335 Text-to-nation. 01:02:33.435 --> 01:02:34.435 But I'm using email. 01:02:34.595 --> 01:02:35.336 Is that a problem? 01:02:35.376 --> 01:02:35.916 It doesn't matter. 01:02:35.956 --> 01:02:36.196 Text! 01:02:38.410 --> 01:02:39.451 Go on, you have to have some too. 01:02:40.312 --> 01:02:41.032 You have some first. 01:02:41.052 --> 01:02:42.273 You have the chum chill cake! 01:02:42.313 --> 01:02:43.914 Are we going to eat it simultaneously? 01:02:44.315 --> 01:02:45.796 Yes, and see who drops dead first. 01:02:50.400 --> 01:02:53.342 What a way to actually kill someone though, to send them a chill cake. 01:02:53.902 --> 01:02:57.305 Oh no, something tastes a bit funny. 01:02:58.186 --> 01:02:59.607 That's got a strange aftertaste. 01:03:01.349 --> 01:03:03.331 I'm sure I can... Mmm. 01:03:03.471 --> 01:03:03.931 What is that? 01:03:03.951 --> 01:03:05.232 There's a peculiar taste in there. 01:03:05.933 --> 01:03:08.716 I think it might be... I don't know, Simon Trier's fate. 01:03:11.519 --> 01:03:13.040 It's quite ugly, it is. 01:03:14.582 --> 01:03:15.923 I think it might be strictening. 01:03:16.724 --> 01:03:18.406 It's not making me feel very chill. 01:03:18.966 --> 01:03:20.546 It's making me feel worried. 01:03:20.566 --> 01:03:22.727 I mean a dead person could be described as chilled. 01:03:23.547 --> 01:03:24.187 Couldn't they? 01:03:24.267 --> 01:03:24.807 Exactly. 01:03:24.887 --> 01:03:25.467 He's really chilled. 01:03:25.487 --> 01:03:27.148 So technically this would be a chill cake. 01:03:28.028 --> 01:03:28.988 To make someone dead. 01:03:29.488 --> 01:03:30.428 And cold. 01:03:34.229 --> 01:03:35.369 I just took another bite. 01:03:36.510 --> 01:03:40.270 I'm going to be sick. 01:03:40.990 --> 01:03:42.351 What is the aftertaste? 01:03:42.411 --> 01:03:42.771 Holy crap. 01:03:46.794 --> 01:03:48.376 If we die, this would be noble. 01:03:49.557 --> 01:03:50.818 Killed by a listener's cake. 01:03:51.058 --> 01:03:52.339 Listen, man, no disrespect. 01:03:52.379 --> 01:03:53.420 Who made the chill cake? 01:03:53.901 --> 01:03:55.362 You know when you can't swallow something? 01:03:55.382 --> 01:03:55.702 Yeah. 01:03:55.722 --> 01:03:59.846 And you're just playing for time by over-mancy cake. 01:04:00.687 --> 01:04:01.868 It's very curious. 01:04:03.269 --> 01:04:04.210 Who made the chill cake? 01:04:04.230 --> 01:04:04.971 I need some water. 01:04:05.391 --> 01:04:06.372 Tom Wilkinson. 01:04:07.553 --> 01:04:08.454 From H.M. 01:04:08.554 --> 01:04:08.954 Prison. 01:04:09.455 --> 01:04:09.715 What? 01:04:10.756 --> 01:04:10.896 No. 01:04:12.977 --> 01:04:13.317 I don't know. 01:04:13.377 --> 01:04:14.118 Tom, that's delicious. 01:04:14.138 --> 01:04:14.878 I'm sure it's fine. 01:04:14.918 --> 01:04:15.638 It's absolutely fine. 01:04:15.858 --> 01:04:16.538 Yeah, it's fine. 01:04:16.578 --> 01:04:16.978 It's fine. 01:04:17.018 --> 01:04:20.839 Listen, here are some text-to-nations on account of the jingle we played a second ago. 01:04:20.919 --> 01:04:25.341 It's all about repurposing famous names for household use. 01:04:26.141 --> 01:04:31.282 Simon and Amy in York say, a while ago, I couldn't remember the word for the person that delivers letters. 01:04:31.322 --> 01:04:33.083 The best I could come up with was Letterman. 01:04:33.703 --> 01:04:37.684 We now call the postman David, as in the popular US chat show host David Letterman. 01:04:39.624 --> 01:04:41.445 Adam's vomited his cake up. 01:04:41.765 --> 01:04:42.445 Did you swallow it? 01:04:43.186 --> 01:04:44.246 You didn't even swallow it. 01:04:44.986 --> 01:04:46.307 Ben's bringing the bin over. 01:04:46.327 --> 01:04:49.148 Adam's putting his chill cake in the bin. 01:04:49.568 --> 01:04:51.328 I ate my chill cake, for God's sake. 01:04:51.348 --> 01:04:52.909 Did you swallow any of it? 01:04:53.229 --> 01:04:57.210 I swallowed some, but I took another bite because I liked the look of the middle part. 01:04:57.250 --> 01:04:58.251 Just a second bite. 01:04:58.491 --> 01:05:04.613 But then it just... I thought it was a creamy filling, but it was just like a gob of butter or something. 01:05:05.293 --> 01:05:07.074 That's not a nice way to describe butter. 01:05:07.314 --> 01:05:07.634 No. 01:05:07.955 --> 01:05:08.375 A gob. 01:05:09.355 --> 01:05:09.655 Anyway. 01:05:09.756 --> 01:05:10.456 You mean a knob? 01:05:11.336 --> 01:05:12.177 No, it was more like a gob. 01:05:12.597 --> 01:05:13.518 It was more like a gob. 01:05:13.538 --> 01:05:14.578 It was more like a gob. 01:05:15.719 --> 01:05:16.359 Hello, Adam and Jo. 01:05:16.379 --> 01:05:24.364 I think this example may be rather obvious and commonly used, but when it rains, I like to ask my lovely wife to bring her Natalie Imbruglia. 01:05:25.208 --> 01:05:26.589 Is that supposed to sound like umbrella? 01:05:26.609 --> 01:05:28.009 Umbrella, that's very tenuous. 01:05:28.209 --> 01:05:30.950 Well, this person says it's obvious and commonly used. 01:05:31.190 --> 01:05:32.091 You're umbrella. 01:05:32.171 --> 01:05:34.091 I'm br- I'm br- naturally I'm braglia. 01:05:34.151 --> 01:05:34.932 I am braglia. 01:05:35.972 --> 01:05:37.813 All the best-selling partner in London. 01:05:38.053 --> 01:05:39.533 This might be a rubbish taxonation. 01:05:39.593 --> 01:05:40.414 Sometimes it happens. 01:05:40.614 --> 01:05:42.374 Someone did send in an email. 01:05:42.394 --> 01:05:43.755 That is just not Boris Gudnoff. 01:05:44.555 --> 01:05:46.236 You see, that's more like it, you know? 01:05:46.256 --> 01:05:47.976 Here's another one. 01:05:48.096 --> 01:05:48.936 You know the Czar, right? 01:05:49.356 --> 01:05:49.957 In the 1500s? 01:05:50.337 --> 01:05:51.577 From Melissa in Beckenham. 01:05:52.117 --> 01:05:52.797 Hello, Adam and Jo. 01:05:52.817 --> 01:05:56.258 When my husband Brian thinks something's good, he doesn't just say awesome. 01:05:56.578 --> 01:05:57.579 He says awesome Wells. 01:05:57.939 --> 01:05:58.279 Nice. 01:05:58.499 --> 01:05:59.199 That's quite a good one. 01:05:59.219 --> 01:05:59.639 That's a good one. 01:05:59.659 --> 01:06:01.640 That's a common and good and solid one. 01:06:01.920 --> 01:06:03.220 My Natalie in Bruglia. 01:06:04.801 --> 01:06:06.621 Hi, Adam and Jo. 01:06:06.641 --> 01:06:11.262 When getting a drink in the pub, I say, I'm getting an Alec, as in Alec Guinness. 01:06:11.422 --> 01:06:12.183 Oh, yeah. 01:06:12.223 --> 01:06:13.423 That's one we've used before. 01:06:13.743 --> 01:06:15.124 Get a pint of Alec Guinness! 01:06:15.144 --> 01:06:16.024 Listen, this is a good one. 01:06:16.064 --> 01:06:16.724 This is getting better. 01:06:16.804 --> 01:06:18.365 Neil from Kent hired him and Joe. 01:06:18.385 --> 01:06:24.928 When I put the surround sound on whilst watching a film, I often say, I'm watching a film with a Susan Surround sound on. 01:06:24.968 --> 01:06:26.068 That's a good one. 01:06:26.088 --> 01:06:27.209 Susan Surround sound. 01:06:27.489 --> 01:06:28.249 I haven't heard that. 01:06:29.170 --> 01:06:31.050 Susan Surround sound. 01:06:31.090 --> 01:06:36.453 When I'm feeling particularly gassy, after drinking lots of fizzy pop, I'll describe myself as being gaseous clay. 01:06:36.993 --> 01:06:37.453 Nice. 01:06:37.693 --> 01:06:38.073 Yeah. 01:06:39.774 --> 01:06:42.115 At work, we say, two Alans in my tea, please. 01:06:43.428 --> 01:06:43.748 Sugar. 01:06:45.690 --> 01:06:46.311 Who's that one from? 01:06:47.712 --> 01:06:48.593 Joe in Tallest Hill. 01:06:48.933 --> 01:06:50.074 I've had too much, Chill Pill. 01:06:50.234 --> 01:06:51.435 I've lost the will to live. 01:06:52.136 --> 01:06:52.697 The ability. 01:06:52.997 --> 01:06:53.778 Chill Pill, Chill Cake. 01:06:54.598 --> 01:07:05.608 Finally, for this segment, Tilly says, Hi Adam and Joe, when we want to suggest having a glass or two of wine, my boyfriend and I suggest having some Avril. 01:07:06.309 --> 01:07:07.750 Wine equals LaVin. 01:07:08.651 --> 01:07:11.614 The French mispronounced as LaVin equals Avril LaVin. 01:07:12.014 --> 01:07:13.355 That's All Love You by Tilly. 01:07:13.795 --> 01:07:16.818 I mean, that's the same kind of logic process as your Biafah. 01:07:17.278 --> 01:07:18.139 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:07:18.680 --> 01:07:19.000 Good stuff! 01:07:19.360 --> 01:07:20.361 Okay, here's a record. 01:07:20.401 --> 01:07:22.002 Dela Sol with break-a-dorn. 01:07:22.183 --> 01:07:24.224 That was Dela Sol with break-a-dorn? 01:07:24.745 --> 01:07:28.608 That's a sample from a Michael Jackson record, you know, from his album Invincible. 01:07:28.848 --> 01:07:30.449 La, la, la, la, la, la, la. 01:07:30.530 --> 01:07:33.652 Nah, the break-a-dorn, the actual singing of break-a-dorn, yeah. 01:07:33.672 --> 01:07:34.193 Oh, you see. 01:07:34.926 --> 01:07:37.429 What's the la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la? 01:07:37.469 --> 01:07:38.150 Get jiggy with it. 01:07:38.190 --> 01:07:42.917 Yeah, that's the same sample as the Fresh Prince used, isn't it? 01:07:43.137 --> 01:07:45.580 We've asked that before and people told us instantly. 01:07:45.640 --> 01:07:46.902 It's a very famous disco record. 01:07:49.906 --> 01:07:53.710 Listeners, we should remind you about, oh, we're not supposed to do this this link, are we? 01:07:54.071 --> 01:07:54.652 Can we do it? 01:07:54.712 --> 01:07:56.874 No, we're going to do it the next link, because we don't have the factoid. 01:07:56.914 --> 01:07:58.196 So we're not going to remind you about anything. 01:07:58.316 --> 01:07:58.736 Forget it. 01:07:58.756 --> 01:07:59.337 Forget it. 01:07:59.497 --> 01:08:01.560 In that case, I want to talk accents with you. 01:08:01.700 --> 01:08:01.900 Good. 01:08:02.020 --> 01:08:02.200 Right. 01:08:02.461 --> 01:08:05.124 Ben, if you've got those accent clips on hand there. 01:08:05.964 --> 01:08:11.567 Now, this was sent to me by someone earlier – well, sent to both of us by someone earlier in the week. 01:08:12.127 --> 01:08:12.708 Where is the name? 01:08:12.748 --> 01:08:13.668 Oh, yes, Paul Barton. 01:08:13.808 --> 01:08:15.529 He made me aware of this, sent me a link to this. 01:08:16.069 --> 01:08:25.054 And, you know, we're fans of strange accents on this programme, and there's nothing more enjoyable, I find, than an American doing quite a strange British accent. 01:08:25.134 --> 01:08:26.095 It doesn't happen very often. 01:08:26.115 --> 01:08:28.276 There's a lot of Brits doing bad American accents. 01:08:30.278 --> 01:08:34.644 But not so many Americans doing terrible British shows. 01:08:34.664 --> 01:08:34.964 I don't know. 01:08:35.465 --> 01:08:35.705 Really? 01:08:36.006 --> 01:08:36.707 Who can you think of? 01:08:36.907 --> 01:08:39.491 Well, I can think of, mind you, he's actually British. 01:08:39.531 --> 01:08:43.977 I always think of Charlie Hannon in the film Green Street that we played weeks ago. 01:08:43.997 --> 01:08:44.357 Oh yeah. 01:08:44.437 --> 01:08:45.439 But he's actually British. 01:08:45.499 --> 01:08:45.980 Is he really? 01:08:46.420 --> 01:08:46.920 thing, yeah. 01:08:46.960 --> 01:08:49.861 What, as your Northerner is, and he's just doing a strange cockney accent. 01:08:49.901 --> 01:08:50.721 Yeah, exactly. 01:08:51.281 --> 01:08:52.741 So, okay, I'll accept the premise here. 01:08:52.761 --> 01:08:54.101 Definitely, you don't get so many of them. 01:08:54.362 --> 01:08:59.983 I mean, the Americans generally do a pretty good British accent, but there's a woman on the internet, on YouTube, I saw this clip. 01:09:00.063 --> 01:09:02.303 She's setting herself up as a dialogue coach. 01:09:03.083 --> 01:09:06.524 So you would think someone who would pretty much have nailed the British accent. 01:09:07.344 --> 01:09:11.465 And I'll play you a couple of clips right now of her talking you through it. 01:09:11.825 --> 01:09:12.565 Here's the first one. 01:09:13.018 --> 01:09:14.499 Now let's practice the shorto. 01:09:14.619 --> 01:09:17.041 And again, I'll give you words and sentences. 01:09:17.542 --> 01:09:22.206 I'll say them standard American first, followed up with the British dialect. 01:09:23.006 --> 01:09:24.848 Hot, hot. 01:09:26.289 --> 01:09:28.090 Coffee, coffee. 01:09:29.251 --> 01:09:31.233 Fought, fought. 01:09:32.194 --> 01:09:34.115 Barbie, bobbie. 01:09:35.216 --> 01:09:36.978 Not, not. 01:09:37.912 --> 01:09:46.758 So, she gets not fairly well, but her model seems to be sort of Mary Poppins era British aristocracy. 01:09:47.979 --> 01:09:50.541 When is that, like Edwardian or Victorian or something? 01:09:51.541 --> 01:10:00.627 And she's not really aware of how modern British people, like at least people like Gwyneth Paltrow, even though they do tend to do the slightly kind of Notting Hill voice. 01:10:02.069 --> 01:10:05.351 They don't really move around that much as far as the accent goes. 01:10:05.932 --> 01:10:07.233 They're pretty good on that accent. 01:10:07.273 --> 01:10:08.093 They're very good, you know. 01:10:08.113 --> 01:10:08.994 It's amazing, isn't it? 01:10:09.334 --> 01:10:12.697 But she's not really got to grips with the whole thing. 01:10:12.717 --> 01:10:16.680 She gives us a few more examples and integrates some of those words into sentences here. 01:10:17.541 --> 01:10:18.621 Now some sentences. 01:10:19.282 --> 01:10:22.564 Lost coffee is not to be fought over. 01:10:23.605 --> 01:10:26.407 Lost coffee is not to be fought over. 01:10:27.328 --> 01:10:29.330 The dog was lost in the fog. 01:10:31.172 --> 01:10:33.634 The dog was lost in the fog. 01:10:34.635 --> 01:10:38.297 The loft smelled like strong coffee. 01:10:39.418 --> 01:10:41.620 The loft smelled like strong coffee. 01:10:42.220 --> 01:10:42.921 Oh, coffee. 01:10:43.141 --> 01:10:43.501 Coffee. 01:10:43.521 --> 01:10:45.483 She's got coffee wrong, hasn't she? 01:10:45.523 --> 01:10:50.847 No, it's not that bad on some of it, but it's a particular type of English person, as you say, isn't it? 01:10:50.867 --> 01:10:51.588 That's what I'm saying, yeah. 01:10:52.088 --> 01:10:55.010 Come for a kind of Lord of the Manor, Lord Snooty kind of deal. 01:10:55.110 --> 01:10:57.412 The loft smells of strong coffee. 01:10:57.432 --> 01:11:00.113 But that's what Americans like to imagine Britain as, right? 01:11:00.133 --> 01:11:00.393 Yeah. 01:11:00.733 --> 01:11:03.213 Kind of a green and pleasant land full of stately homes? 01:11:03.233 --> 01:11:04.074 Who says Coughare? 01:11:04.354 --> 01:11:04.814 Coughare. 01:11:05.094 --> 01:11:05.994 I've never heard any. 01:11:06.054 --> 01:11:07.474 Not even a Lord of the Manus has come. 01:11:07.494 --> 01:11:10.915 Do you think if you went to America and started talking like that? 01:11:11.035 --> 01:11:11.315 Yes. 01:11:11.615 --> 01:11:14.516 That people wouldn't think it was on your job at all. 01:11:15.656 --> 01:11:16.837 I love your accent. 01:11:16.897 --> 01:11:17.957 Where are you from? 01:11:18.097 --> 01:11:21.758 I'm from the Coughare-making capital of London. 01:11:21.858 --> 01:11:25.619 I have a dog, but unfortunately the dog is lost in the fog. 01:11:26.739 --> 01:11:31.221 Luckily, it smells of strong coffee, so I'm able to look at it quite easily. 01:11:32.982 --> 01:11:33.922 How could we test this? 01:11:34.263 --> 01:11:36.524 We could telephone America and talk like that. 01:11:36.744 --> 01:11:37.024 Yeah. 01:11:37.324 --> 01:11:39.025 And see whether anybody responded. 01:11:39.065 --> 01:11:42.046 You can't make calls like that on the castle anymore, though, can you? 01:11:42.986 --> 01:11:46.368 We could call America and speak in American accent. 01:11:46.888 --> 01:11:48.850 Can't we just phone like a shop in America? 01:11:48.930 --> 01:11:51.291 No, it would have to be pre-recorded the castle. 01:11:51.391 --> 01:11:52.992 What if we said something awful? 01:11:53.873 --> 01:11:54.754 That'd be a scandal. 01:11:54.794 --> 01:11:55.554 A scandal, scandal. 01:11:55.574 --> 01:11:56.235 It's a scandal. 01:11:56.315 --> 01:11:57.956 But we could pre-record that one week. 01:11:58.036 --> 01:11:59.076 Okay, let's try to do that. 01:11:59.397 --> 01:12:01.398 Anyway, in the meantime, I've done a little song. 01:12:01.778 --> 01:12:02.159 Oh, good one. 01:12:02.179 --> 01:12:04.320 Because I like the dog is lost in the form. 01:12:05.120 --> 01:12:13.166 And, you know, there was a time in the dawn of house when like people used to make house tracks all the time that just sampled little bits of speech. 01:12:13.186 --> 01:12:15.127 They don't do that so much anymore. 01:12:15.287 --> 01:12:15.728 I miss it. 01:12:18.309 --> 01:12:19.709 So, I've reinstated it for you now. 01:12:19.889 --> 01:12:21.990 It goes on for quite a long time, so you can chip in. 01:12:22.310 --> 01:12:25.871 What we might do is play a little bit and then put the whole thing on the blog if you're interested, listeners. 01:12:26.171 --> 01:12:27.791 So, Joe, I'm going to leave it up to you to chip in. 01:12:27.811 --> 01:12:29.712 All right, when this becomes too much. 01:12:29.772 --> 01:12:31.292 Yeah, when you feel that's appropriate. 01:12:31.332 --> 01:12:31.572 Cool. 01:12:33.313 --> 01:12:34.773 Now, let's practice the short out. 01:12:35.493 --> 01:12:37.954 And again, words and sentences. 01:12:38.834 --> 01:12:40.755 I'll say them standard American first. 01:13:20.118 --> 01:13:31.912 I'll say them standard American first Followed out with the British dialect coffee coffee not coffee 01:13:38.160 --> 01:13:41.423 If this went on for an hour, I would just let it play. 01:13:41.984 --> 01:13:42.264 Would you? 01:13:42.284 --> 01:13:42.725 Yeah. 01:13:43.305 --> 01:13:43.966 I feel it's that good. 01:13:44.206 --> 01:13:48.390 That's the same loop that I use in my This Week in Grazia song. 01:13:48.771 --> 01:13:49.171 Oh, is it? 01:13:49.552 --> 01:13:49.852 Yeah. 01:13:49.992 --> 01:13:50.853 That's a good one, isn't it? 01:13:51.153 --> 01:13:51.814 Euro House. 01:13:51.854 --> 01:13:52.875 It's mixed very well. 01:13:53.776 --> 01:13:54.637 Let's hear a bit more. 01:13:54.857 --> 01:13:55.758 What's happening now? 01:14:04.116 --> 01:14:04.797 That's good, that's good. 01:14:05.137 --> 01:14:09.942 I think that's good, I think that's giving people a flavour, an idea of what's going on there. 01:14:10.342 --> 01:14:12.464 And if you want to hear the whole of that, you could go to the blog. 01:14:12.565 --> 01:14:13.465 Yeah, go to the blog. 01:14:13.766 --> 01:14:19.451 Don't forget our podcast comes out on a Monday and we'll probably get that song uploaded on the blog thereabouts as well. 01:14:19.852 --> 01:14:21.273 Would you dance if that came on there? 01:14:21.333 --> 01:14:22.354 Sure I'd dance, yeah. 01:14:22.474 --> 01:14:23.455 Absolutely I'd dance. 01:14:24.356 --> 01:14:26.398 It could be a crazy dance, I do. 01:14:27.019 --> 01:14:27.980 But it would be a dance. 01:14:28.120 --> 01:14:29.402 Here's a free play for you listeners. 01:14:29.622 --> 01:14:33.007 Now, this is from one of those albums that's supposedly a classic album. 01:14:33.027 --> 01:14:33.908 It is a classic album. 01:14:34.268 --> 01:14:39.115 And you know, I dutifully went out and bought it when I read about it years ago and was told I should own a copy. 01:14:39.215 --> 01:14:40.877 It's Forever Changes by Love. 01:14:41.678 --> 01:14:42.680 And it's from 1967, I think. 01:14:45.203 --> 01:14:46.224 And I never listened to it. 01:14:46.324 --> 01:14:48.506 You know, I just had it sitting there in my record collection. 01:14:48.526 --> 01:14:49.087 Do you ever do that? 01:14:49.187 --> 01:14:50.909 Go out and buy an album that everyone says you should have? 01:14:51.489 --> 01:14:59.237 And you know, I was aware that it was quite good, but only this week have I got to grips with Forever Changes finally, after owning it for about 15 years. 01:14:59.637 --> 01:15:03.441 It's amazing, of course, and this is a track from it called The Red Telephone. 01:15:03.561 --> 01:15:06.023 There's a little bit of talking there at the end there, make you think about it. 01:15:06.343 --> 01:15:08.585 They don't sound very passionate about wanting their freedom. 01:15:09.005 --> 01:15:09.746 I want my freedom. 01:15:10.287 --> 01:15:11.608 Can I have my freedom, please? 01:15:11.628 --> 01:15:12.368 Freedom, please. 01:15:12.729 --> 01:15:13.910 I'm tired of this slavery. 01:15:14.070 --> 01:15:15.791 Oh my God, children gotta have their freedom. 01:15:16.512 --> 01:15:17.232 Freedom, please. 01:15:17.793 --> 01:15:18.193 Thank you. 01:15:18.413 --> 01:15:22.156 That was love with the red telephone. 01:15:22.437 --> 01:15:25.139 This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music. 01:15:25.339 --> 01:15:27.120 Thank you so much for tuning in. 01:15:28.702 --> 01:15:31.544 What do you listen to during the week though, Joe, apart from 6 Music? 01:15:31.564 --> 01:15:31.884 6 Music. 01:15:31.904 --> 01:15:32.405 6 Music. 01:15:32.885 --> 01:15:36.627 On the radio are all kinds of different stuff. 01:15:37.087 --> 01:15:38.468 I like a lot of 6 Music. 01:15:38.528 --> 01:15:39.408 I love 6 Music. 01:15:39.428 --> 01:15:40.288 What's your favourite show? 01:15:41.589 --> 01:15:41.949 6 Music. 01:15:42.289 --> 01:15:43.030 Do you like it? 01:15:43.190 --> 01:15:43.910 I like it. 01:15:44.510 --> 01:15:45.471 No, but I like Resonance. 01:15:46.691 --> 01:15:48.612 I tend to have Resonance. 01:15:48.632 --> 01:15:50.653 I'll tell you how my settings are in my car. 01:15:51.153 --> 01:15:52.794 Number one is Capital Radio. 01:15:53.374 --> 01:15:54.055 Never listen to it. 01:15:54.935 --> 01:15:56.256 Number two is BBC London. 01:15:56.276 --> 01:15:57.036 Do you say the four? 01:15:57.076 --> 01:15:58.036 How you listen to Johnny Bourne? 01:15:58.056 --> 01:15:58.797 I try and listen to it. 01:15:58.897 --> 01:15:59.037 Yeah. 01:15:59.537 --> 01:16:00.838 Number two is BBC London. 01:16:01.238 --> 01:16:03.819 Number three is... Oh, what's number three? 01:16:03.979 --> 01:16:04.659 XFM, I think. 01:16:04.860 --> 01:16:05.020 Right. 01:16:05.200 --> 01:16:06.180 Number four is Radio 4. 01:16:06.520 --> 01:16:07.741 Number five is Choice FM. 01:16:08.041 --> 01:16:08.901 Number six is Resonance. 01:16:09.141 --> 01:16:10.802 And number seven is John Gaunt FM. 01:16:11.362 --> 01:16:11.563 Yeah. 01:16:11.623 --> 01:16:13.003 Non-stop Gaunt. 01:16:13.023 --> 01:16:14.024 24-hour Gaunt. 01:16:15.544 --> 01:16:16.505 Well... What do you ask? 01:16:17.105 --> 01:16:18.567 I'm just trying to film. 01:16:18.587 --> 01:16:18.967 That was it? 01:16:19.287 --> 01:16:20.248 Now we're going to go to the news. 01:16:20.448 --> 01:16:22.310 Yeah, well, I kind of wrapped it up a little early. 01:16:23.251 --> 01:16:23.872 I've got 25 seconds. 01:16:23.892 --> 01:16:24.672 What a weird lick. 01:16:25.333 --> 01:16:25.753 I know. 01:16:25.874 --> 01:16:26.875 Let's use that in a pocket. 01:16:26.975 --> 01:16:29.257 I know you really threw yourself into it as well. 01:16:29.317 --> 01:16:32.020 Well, I thought you were going to spin some magic out of it. 01:16:32.480 --> 01:16:33.781 Instead, it just ended. 01:16:33.861 --> 01:16:34.542 I thought I was too. 01:16:34.582 --> 01:16:38.025 You led a list of what my stations are in my car. 01:16:38.126 --> 01:16:39.307 Well, I can tell you what mine are. 01:16:39.827 --> 01:16:40.688 Let's go to the news. 01:16:40.808 --> 01:16:41.629 No, no, not yet. 01:16:41.749 --> 01:16:42.169 Listen. 01:16:42.310 --> 01:16:42.610 News. 01:16:42.790 --> 01:16:42.910 News. 01:16:43.090 --> 01:16:43.811 Radio 1. 01:16:43.931 --> 01:16:44.732 Here's the news. 01:16:44.812 --> 01:16:45.072 Radio 2. 01:16:45.112 --> 01:16:45.413 Ben. 01:16:45.653 --> 01:16:47.935 Well, the good old days, the Libertines. 01:16:48.456 --> 01:16:53.200 Time for heroes when they were bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, hadn't burgled anyone yet. 01:16:54.682 --> 01:16:55.883 That was a fun time. 01:16:56.536 --> 01:16:56.776 back then. 01:16:56.796 --> 01:16:58.718 This is Adam and Jo here on BBC6 Music. 01:16:58.978 --> 01:17:01.980 We haven't done any pro-creation for a while, have we? 01:17:02.061 --> 01:17:03.181 Pop-pro-creation? 01:17:03.682 --> 01:17:06.404 It's the hardest feature to actually say on the programme. 01:17:07.285 --> 01:17:10.287 Let's play the jingle and then we can get into it and explain if you don't know what we're on about. 01:17:10.327 --> 01:17:16.933 I like to change the lyrics of songs from time to time. 01:17:16.953 --> 01:17:22.657 Love the taskbar to make them refer to things I do. 01:17:26.069 --> 01:17:37.860 I call it hope hope creation and as far as I'm aware it isn't a crime I wonder if it's something you do too 01:17:42.699 --> 01:17:43.039 There you go. 01:17:43.079 --> 01:17:47.162 So that's pretty much explained the pop-ro creation segment there. 01:17:47.182 --> 01:17:48.883 We've set out the stall fairly clearly. 01:17:49.143 --> 01:17:50.224 Yeah, just give an example. 01:17:50.284 --> 01:17:51.285 It'll soon become apparent. 01:17:51.305 --> 01:17:58.289 Well, here's an example that I was doing earlier in the week, again, when I was wandering around White City in the west area of London. 01:17:58.790 --> 01:18:00.951 There was a... Well, is this another visit there? 01:18:01.552 --> 01:18:02.272 A second visit. 01:18:02.332 --> 01:18:03.213 Is it a weekly thing? 01:18:03.233 --> 01:18:04.373 I just wander around there. 01:18:04.393 --> 01:18:04.874 I love it there. 01:18:04.894 --> 01:18:05.134 Do you? 01:18:05.154 --> 01:18:06.115 They've got free Wi-Fi. 01:18:06.135 --> 01:18:06.595 What are you doing? 01:18:06.615 --> 01:18:08.116 Are you working at the BBC or something? 01:18:08.721 --> 01:18:10.543 Oh, no, I'm staying nearby when I'm in London. 01:18:10.703 --> 01:18:11.063 Right. 01:18:11.083 --> 01:18:12.985 Because we don't have our house in South London anymore. 01:18:13.005 --> 01:18:13.285 Right. 01:18:13.646 --> 01:18:15.567 So I'm staying with a friend in West London. 01:18:15.627 --> 01:18:15.888 Right. 01:18:15.968 --> 01:18:16.468 A friend? 01:18:16.628 --> 01:18:16.929 Yeah. 01:18:16.989 --> 01:18:19.111 So I walk around West... You've got another friend. 01:18:19.151 --> 01:18:20.332 I'm having an affair. 01:18:20.852 --> 01:18:21.333 With who? 01:18:22.353 --> 01:18:24.135 I didn't really want this to come out on the show. 01:18:24.696 --> 01:18:25.616 Adrian Charles. 01:18:25.837 --> 01:18:26.817 Adrian Charles. 01:18:27.158 --> 01:18:27.999 That's sexy. 01:18:28.319 --> 01:18:29.600 He's having my love, Charles. 01:18:30.941 --> 01:18:32.042 You see, you dragged all this. 01:18:32.062 --> 01:18:34.725 I never wanted any of this to come out on the programme. 01:18:35.486 --> 01:18:45.102 So I was back at Westfield and they've got a library there, a new library, and there's a sign in the window that says, more than a library, so I can't help singing. 01:18:46.158 --> 01:18:47.439 More than a library. 01:18:47.519 --> 01:18:48.180 That's good. 01:18:48.500 --> 01:18:50.301 More than a library. 01:18:50.381 --> 01:18:52.623 Is it like a council library? 01:18:53.724 --> 01:18:54.745 In a shopping centre? 01:18:54.945 --> 01:18:56.847 It's just on the periphery of the shopping centre. 01:18:57.027 --> 01:18:58.628 Okay, but it's a real proper library. 01:18:58.648 --> 01:18:59.168 As far as I can tell. 01:18:59.188 --> 01:19:01.510 It's not like in some weird commercial-sponsored private library. 01:19:01.530 --> 01:19:04.052 I can't see that many books, but maybe it's digital. 01:19:04.353 --> 01:19:06.995 I thought the British government were trying to ban libraries. 01:19:07.415 --> 01:19:08.116 They're doing their best. 01:19:08.236 --> 01:19:12.121 They do their best in the year after year, but the public won't stand for it quite rightly. 01:19:12.261 --> 01:19:14.544 More than a library. 01:19:14.684 --> 01:19:16.966 Libraries these days anyway, they're turning into kind of video shops. 01:19:17.006 --> 01:19:18.428 Get down to Westfield. 01:19:18.728 --> 01:19:19.790 I'm going off subject anyway. 01:19:19.810 --> 01:19:21.352 More than a library. 01:19:21.552 --> 01:19:23.694 That's more than a woman, of course, by the Bee Gees. 01:19:23.935 --> 01:19:24.615 Have you got one there? 01:19:24.856 --> 01:19:27.078 Yeah, this is a letter from Ali from Prestwick. 01:19:28.099 --> 01:19:46.577 As a way of teaching our cat, Bobo, to stop attacking and eating bees in the back garden, thus speeding their extinction and the inevitable collapse of civilisation, my partner Karen likes to sing, bees are good, bees are good, oh Bobo, bees are good, to the tune of the shaman classic Ebenezer Good. 01:19:46.637 --> 01:19:51.922 Personally, I prefer to sing on Awaking in the Morning and wishing to dispel the darkness of night. 01:19:52.950 --> 01:19:56.692 I'm rolling the blind up to the tune of making your mind up by Buck's Fizz. 01:19:56.712 --> 01:19:57.693 Good pop appropriation. 01:19:58.133 --> 01:19:59.033 Ali from Prestwick. 01:19:59.193 --> 01:19:59.774 Very good. 01:19:59.894 --> 01:20:04.176 I don't suppose anyone's ever appropriated making your mind up by Buck's Fizz before. 01:20:04.296 --> 01:20:04.816 Bees are good. 01:20:04.936 --> 01:20:05.437 Bees are good. 01:20:05.717 --> 01:20:06.557 Oh bobo bees are good. 01:20:06.717 --> 01:20:10.239 Actually they must have done like even if someone's just a little bit indecisive. 01:20:10.419 --> 01:20:13.221 It's the use of oh bobo there I think really elevates that. 01:20:13.241 --> 01:20:16.803 I think that's an absolute prime slice of pop appropriation. 01:20:17.663 --> 01:20:18.704 Here's one from James. 01:20:19.044 --> 01:20:23.448 He says, a while ago I was working for a mortgage company in Sydney Australia answering the phone. 01:20:23.848 --> 01:20:26.190 I worked with a lady called Edna who was quite bossy. 01:20:26.570 --> 01:20:28.512 One day she got a new trainee called Ben. 01:20:28.992 --> 01:20:39.100 The managers all had to listen to their trainees phone calls on a separate headset and if they made a mistake they were supposed to patch in, introduce themselves and explain that it was a training call, right? 01:20:39.600 --> 01:20:46.146 Most of them didn't really bother but Edna would listen to every one of Ben's calls and on about every third one she would patch through and say, 01:20:46.826 --> 01:20:49.689 Hi, my name's Edna, and I'm training Ben. 01:20:50.150 --> 01:20:55.536 Every time she would do this, I had to suppress the urge to jump up and sing, she's training Ben. 01:20:55.556 --> 01:20:58.339 Hallelujah, she's training Ben. 01:20:58.359 --> 01:20:59.681 Amen. 01:20:59.701 --> 01:21:00.442 That's a good one. 01:21:00.462 --> 01:21:04.166 I like the technical explanation as well. 01:21:04.186 --> 01:21:04.987 It's very specific. 01:21:05.687 --> 01:21:06.789 Thank you very much, James. 01:21:08.351 --> 01:21:08.971 That was great. 01:21:09.292 --> 01:21:10.073 Have you got another one there? 01:21:10.113 --> 01:21:10.613 No, I have not. 01:21:10.673 --> 01:21:13.637 I've got one final quick one, which is quite a good obvious one. 01:21:14.558 --> 01:21:20.005 Sam Jordan says, does anyone else sing to the tune of Paperback Writer every time they open PDF Writer? 01:21:20.802 --> 01:21:23.504 PDF writer. 01:21:23.564 --> 01:21:24.845 Sure they do. 01:21:25.225 --> 01:21:26.146 Good bit of software. 01:21:26.286 --> 01:21:26.846 Great song. 01:21:27.166 --> 01:21:27.767 Thanks for those. 01:21:27.787 --> 01:21:31.589 Yeah, if you've got a appropriation that you use, you can email us. 01:21:31.870 --> 01:21:34.711 Now we haven't been provided with a piece of paper with the email line. 01:21:34.772 --> 01:21:35.952 I can remember it with my mind. 01:21:36.172 --> 01:21:36.453 Do it. 01:21:36.753 --> 01:21:44.018 Adamandjo.6musicatbbc.co.uk Yeah, please send it to us. 01:21:44.918 --> 01:21:49.482 Or there's still 15, 17 minutes of the show left and the text number is 64046. 01:21:49.522 --> 01:21:50.082 You've done well. 01:21:50.242 --> 01:21:50.703 I remember that. 01:21:50.723 --> 01:21:51.163 It's taken months. 01:21:51.263 --> 01:21:54.828 I mean, I've been really worried that my brain is just crossing. 01:21:54.988 --> 01:21:55.989 Yeah, getting away. 01:21:56.009 --> 01:21:57.071 Like my hard drive is full. 01:21:57.091 --> 01:21:58.072 Do you know what I mean? 01:21:58.172 --> 01:21:59.193 Can't retain any new information. 01:21:59.213 --> 01:21:59.834 What's fragmented? 01:21:59.854 --> 01:22:01.456 You need to defragment your hard drive. 01:22:01.476 --> 01:22:02.517 You need to defrag the brain. 01:22:02.798 --> 01:22:03.639 You need Dr. Norton. 01:22:03.839 --> 01:22:04.360 That's what I need. 01:22:04.380 --> 01:22:06.142 That would be good, wouldn't it, if you could do that? 01:22:06.182 --> 01:22:07.323 What if you could clear free space? 01:22:08.064 --> 01:22:09.145 A raised free space, you know? 01:22:09.165 --> 01:22:09.745 Absolutely. 01:22:09.945 --> 01:22:13.907 There must be a sooner... Hey, yes, sooner or later you'll be able to do that. 01:22:13.927 --> 01:22:26.613 Another thing that I've been feeling guilty about for the last few minutes is that I made a big play out of saying, Gaz and Danny are on Tomorrow on 6 Music at 3.30, but it's not Supergrass because it's not all three members of the group I was saying. 01:22:26.633 --> 01:22:28.814 There's four members in Supergrass, of course. 01:22:29.114 --> 01:22:30.695 There's Gaz's brother, isn't he his brother? 01:22:31.455 --> 01:22:33.417 Richard, I think he's called, I'm not sure, the keyboard player. 01:22:33.837 --> 01:22:40.303 Anyway, so I was trying to, you know, not disrespect Mickey Quinn, but in the end, I disrespected the keyboard guy. 01:22:40.463 --> 01:22:42.905 So sorry about that, extra members of Supergrass. 01:22:44.005 --> 01:22:46.247 Right now, here's a trail for Sean Keaveney. 01:22:46.307 --> 01:22:48.970 This is the Flaming Lips there with silver trembling hands. 01:22:49.130 --> 01:22:50.271 You know that Chill Cakers? 01:22:51.031 --> 01:22:52.132 Seeped into my paws. 01:22:52.152 --> 01:22:53.173 Like, they were so buttery. 01:22:53.193 --> 01:22:55.414 Do you ever get that, like, after you've eaten something very buttery? 01:22:55.935 --> 01:23:00.078 You smell of butter and milk and stuff in quite an unpleasant way for a while. 01:23:00.098 --> 01:23:02.840 Well, look, I think Tom Williamson is probably a very nice chap. 01:23:02.880 --> 01:23:04.301 We should give him the benefit of the doubt. 01:23:04.361 --> 01:23:06.002 I don't think it's poisoned in any way. 01:23:06.202 --> 01:23:06.622 No, no. 01:23:06.662 --> 01:23:11.526 And I don't think we should be too rude about the chap's cake, because he maked it and baked it and sent it. 01:23:11.666 --> 01:23:13.027 I know, it was really a nice gesture. 01:23:13.147 --> 01:23:13.627 And all that stuff. 01:23:13.807 --> 01:23:14.868 And you are being quite rude. 01:23:14.968 --> 01:23:15.268 Really? 01:23:15.589 --> 01:23:16.409 You're attacking him? 01:23:16.449 --> 01:23:17.070 You started it. 01:23:17.470 --> 01:23:18.431 You finished it. 01:23:19.452 --> 01:23:27.198 And if you start the destruction, it can always be repaired, but the person who finishes it is the worst one. 01:23:28.619 --> 01:23:31.542 So listen, talking of worst ones, it's text the nation time. 01:23:32.182 --> 01:23:34.544 I like the simple ones. 01:23:34.624 --> 01:23:39.929 One or two people have texted in saying Scott Mills did it years ago, and I know everybody does it, but 01:23:40.709 --> 01:23:45.353 Lots of stuff we do for Texanation other people do, but it's just we've got such brilliant listeners. 01:23:45.373 --> 01:23:50.757 They come up with stuff that's more incredible than... There's no way that Scott Mills got... Would Scott Mills have had this? 01:23:50.777 --> 01:23:51.938 Bees are good, bees are good. 01:23:52.899 --> 01:23:54.020 That wasn't Texanation though. 01:23:54.420 --> 01:23:54.721 Wasn't it? 01:23:54.741 --> 01:23:57.423 That was pot-propriation. 01:23:57.663 --> 01:23:59.865 This is from Matt in Birmingham. 01:23:59.885 --> 01:24:01.626 There's no way that Scott Mills had Boris Goodnoff. 01:24:01.646 --> 01:24:02.347 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 01:24:02.747 --> 01:24:05.149 Long life juice is known as LLJ. 01:24:05.309 --> 01:24:09.253 If it's in the cupboard, it's LL warm J. If it's in the fridge, it's LL cool J. 01:24:09.841 --> 01:24:11.882 Yes, take that scum now, Milsey! 01:24:12.782 --> 01:24:15.003 Here's one from Matt Richardson. 01:24:15.264 --> 01:24:16.244 I need the chill cake now. 01:24:16.404 --> 01:24:20.486 I enjoy calling people who have a tendency to go on a bit as Gabby Roslin. 01:24:21.824 --> 01:24:22.144 Gabby. 01:24:22.785 --> 01:24:23.085 Gabby. 01:24:26.567 --> 01:24:27.508 In your face, Mills! 01:24:27.528 --> 01:24:28.008 Okay. 01:24:28.088 --> 01:24:32.491 Keep it up, keep it up, keep it going. 01:24:32.731 --> 01:24:35.293 Okay, from Nolan, Fian, Broccoli. 01:24:35.753 --> 01:24:39.336 When we go to the shop, we always remind each other, have you got the Bilbo's? 01:24:39.536 --> 01:24:40.156 Bilbo Baggins. 01:24:40.397 --> 01:24:42.898 Bags, bags, bags, the Bilbo Baggins. 01:24:43.038 --> 01:24:43.138 Nice! 01:24:43.319 --> 01:24:43.939 Take that, Mills. 01:24:44.099 --> 01:24:45.340 Ooh, in the solar plexus. 01:24:47.523 --> 01:24:50.444 My mate used to call the TV remote the Frank after Frank Zappa. 01:24:51.164 --> 01:24:52.324 Does Zappa pass me the Frank? 01:24:52.404 --> 01:24:53.244 Yeah, like that, Mills. 01:24:54.364 --> 01:24:57.405 When we eat Palmer ham, we call it Brian after Brian department. 01:24:58.345 --> 01:25:01.386 It's got Mills crying in a corner. 01:25:01.406 --> 01:25:04.986 When my boyfriend has a cup of tea, he sometimes thinks of it as a Truman. 01:25:05.827 --> 01:25:06.887 As in Truman Capote. 01:25:07.347 --> 01:25:09.147 Okay, that takes the nation for this week. 01:25:09.407 --> 01:25:11.048 Thanks to everyone who's contributed. 01:25:11.668 --> 01:25:12.528 Here's a free play. 01:25:13.668 --> 01:25:17.130 This is from Femi Kuti and he's an Afrobeat man. 01:25:17.150 --> 01:25:18.591 Do you know about that sort of music Adam? 01:25:19.692 --> 01:25:20.452 Afrobeat. 01:25:20.512 --> 01:25:24.715 What qualifies Afrobeat as being distinct from any other genre of black music? 01:25:24.955 --> 01:25:27.136 It's from Africa in this particular. 01:25:27.156 --> 01:25:29.418 There's loads of different types of music from Africa though. 01:25:29.738 --> 01:25:31.939 Femi Kuti is of course the son of Fela Kuti. 01:25:32.260 --> 01:25:32.840 Oh is he? 01:25:32.980 --> 01:25:35.982 I always want to play some Fela Kuti but his tracks are so very long. 01:25:36.022 --> 01:25:37.042 They are really suitable. 01:25:37.162 --> 01:25:38.483 This is pretty good as well. 01:25:39.764 --> 01:25:42.105 Femi Kuti from his album Fight to Win in 2001. 01:25:42.345 --> 01:25:44.026 This is called The Choice is Yours. 01:25:44.166 --> 01:25:44.806 That is amazing. 01:25:44.826 --> 01:25:46.707 That's like it's been all speeded up, isn't it? 01:25:46.727 --> 01:25:47.067 Brilliant. 01:25:47.147 --> 01:25:50.848 Femi Kuti there with The Choice is Yours from his 2001 album Fight to Win. 01:25:51.329 --> 01:25:57.891 Hey, we should just plug the Electric Prom Song Wars event that's taking place on the 22nd of October at the London Roundhouse. 01:25:57.931 --> 01:25:59.452 It's like two weeks or something, isn't it? 01:25:59.472 --> 01:26:00.212 It's two weeks. 01:26:00.392 --> 01:26:00.972 Oh, God. 01:26:00.992 --> 01:26:03.813 There's going to be videos, live performances. 01:26:05.354 --> 01:26:07.175 And the Song Wars competition winners. 01:26:07.215 --> 01:26:08.296 Nice enthusiasm. 01:26:08.336 --> 01:26:08.616 Thanks. 01:26:08.676 --> 01:26:11.398 Well, I got to be honest. 01:26:12.559 --> 01:26:15.121 The application period for tickets has already passed. 01:26:15.301 --> 01:26:17.322 No further tickets are available for the event. 01:26:17.723 --> 01:26:23.807 And if you want to enter the Song Wars competition, you have to get your entry in by 4pm on Wednesday the 14th of October. 01:26:23.827 --> 01:26:25.008 I'm just feeling a bit queasy. 01:26:25.028 --> 01:26:27.689 The chill cake is still causing problems. 01:26:27.709 --> 01:26:29.671 Are you nervous because it's a live thing we're doing? 01:26:30.151 --> 01:26:31.052 Yeah, you know me. 01:26:31.112 --> 01:26:33.695 I don't really like... You don't relish the live appearances. 01:26:33.715 --> 01:26:34.936 No, not really. 01:26:35.317 --> 01:26:35.897 No. 01:26:36.177 --> 01:26:36.998 Anyway, but this will be fun. 01:26:37.038 --> 01:26:37.539 It'll be fun. 01:26:37.799 --> 01:26:41.303 You know the thing that's going to be nice about this is it'll be purely listeners to the show and the audience. 01:26:41.323 --> 01:26:41.663 Yeah, yeah. 01:26:41.683 --> 01:26:42.364 They'll be friendly. 01:26:42.664 --> 01:26:43.325 They'll be good. 01:26:43.365 --> 01:26:44.666 We'll make... It'll be fun. 01:26:44.746 --> 01:26:45.207 It'll be fun. 01:26:45.427 --> 01:26:47.549 We'll make a joke out of the fact that you're a little bit nervous. 01:26:47.789 --> 01:26:50.512 Listen, when we were at Glastonbury, you were great. 01:26:50.772 --> 01:26:51.673 Well, that's the other thing. 01:26:51.693 --> 01:26:53.235 You know, once I get out there, I'll switch the other way. 01:26:53.335 --> 01:26:53.835 Yeah. 01:26:53.875 --> 01:26:54.996 I'll get overconfident. 01:26:55.016 --> 01:26:57.359 Aggressively overconfident and ruin the whole thing. 01:26:57.379 --> 01:27:01.222 But listen, we have had so far a grand total of 18 entries in total. 01:27:02.884 --> 01:27:23.230 There have been 18 entries to our song wars competition where we ask you to check out our website where you will find karaoke versions of two song wars songs We want you to perform them karaoke style video it send us a link to that video and then the best performances will join us on stage at that event and Perform with us or something else. 01:27:23.270 --> 01:27:25.451 I'll be part of the chaos sing along to the song exactly 01:27:25.951 --> 01:27:46.271 uh last week we had nine well hang on no what's going on here the first week we had none entries second week we had nine yeah and that was not very many for my quantum of solace song and quite a lot for nutty room and then we had another nine we've had eight entries in the last week all right two nutty room entries and six quantum of solaces nice so that's good things are a little more balanced now 01:27:46.731 --> 01:27:49.732 It's nine Nutty Room attempts versus nine Quantum of Solace attempts. 01:27:49.752 --> 01:27:51.972 Have you seen any of your new Quantum of Solace attempts? 01:27:51.992 --> 01:27:52.232 I haven't. 01:27:52.252 --> 01:27:53.912 I'm going to go check them out after the show. 01:27:54.073 --> 01:27:57.313 But it's still a very open goal, so please enter it. 01:27:58.493 --> 01:28:01.214 Yeah, you've got until 4pm on Wednesday the 14th of October. 01:28:01.534 --> 01:28:02.654 It is an open goal, yeah. 01:28:02.674 --> 01:28:06.755 Because technically we've had 18 entries to the competition. 01:28:07.095 --> 01:28:07.635 What do you say? 01:28:07.655 --> 01:28:09.256 It's not good. 01:28:09.336 --> 01:28:09.916 It's not really. 01:28:10.056 --> 01:28:10.736 Not very many. 01:28:10.796 --> 01:28:11.336 That's alright. 01:28:11.946 --> 01:28:15.947 I mean, what we have had have been very, very good. 01:28:16.187 --> 01:28:18.908 Hey, do you want me to tell you something that might make you actually throw up? 01:28:19.308 --> 01:28:19.568 Why? 01:28:20.048 --> 01:28:24.549 Someone has pointed out, because that chill cake is really still, I'm still feeling it. 01:28:24.669 --> 01:28:25.109 Are you not? 01:28:25.549 --> 01:28:29.970 Yeah, I've got butter built up around my cheeks. 01:28:30.230 --> 01:28:34.411 Somebody called Mark in Luton says it probably tastes a bit funny because it was made with real whipped cream. 01:28:34.571 --> 01:28:37.672 It must be slightly off by now, which is a very good point. 01:28:38.092 --> 01:28:39.753 No, no, it only arrived yesterday. 01:28:40.153 --> 01:28:41.273 Did it only arrive yesterday? 01:28:41.693 --> 01:28:41.873 Yeah. 01:28:42.233 --> 01:28:42.733 We don't know. 01:28:42.813 --> 01:28:43.073 I don't. 01:28:43.113 --> 01:28:43.313 Did it? 01:28:43.353 --> 01:28:44.594 How do you know who's giving that information? 01:28:44.614 --> 01:28:46.954 Lucy and Chloe out there said it yesterday. 01:28:47.414 --> 01:28:49.295 So you think the cream is all right? 01:28:49.315 --> 01:28:51.615 He's not going to make a cake that's going to go off in one day. 01:28:51.635 --> 01:28:53.956 There's not whipped cream on top of the cake. 01:28:54.956 --> 01:29:00.177 It was a hard, dark chocolate carapace on top of the butter. 01:29:00.217 --> 01:29:02.138 Why do I feel so ill that... I don't know. 01:29:02.178 --> 01:29:05.038 I think maybe it's the... There was a strange consistency about it. 01:29:05.098 --> 01:29:08.159 We're not doing a good job of being less disrespectful to the guy who sent it though. 01:29:08.860 --> 01:29:09.180 Is that it? 01:29:09.200 --> 01:29:10.620 Then are we going to play a record and leave? 01:29:10.940 --> 01:29:11.441 Oh, is this it? 01:29:11.861 --> 01:29:12.321 End of the show? 01:29:12.341 --> 01:29:14.341 Yeah, thanks to everyone who's texted and emailed. 01:29:14.381 --> 01:29:15.461 Liz Kershaw's coming up. 01:29:15.501 --> 01:29:19.582 We may not be with you last week, because we might be dead on account of that chill cake next week. 01:29:19.662 --> 01:29:19.822 Yeah. 01:29:19.862 --> 01:29:20.102 I know. 01:29:20.142 --> 01:29:22.223 I might be in hospital with my flipping arms on as well. 01:29:22.283 --> 01:29:26.344 It doesn't look like Liz Kershaw. 01:29:26.364 --> 01:29:27.304 That's not... Who is that, Ben? 01:29:27.324 --> 01:29:28.184 Chris Hawkins. 01:29:28.204 --> 01:29:29.024 That's Chris Hawkins. 01:29:29.064 --> 01:29:31.385 We never see Chris, because he's here during the night. 01:29:31.405 --> 01:29:32.125 The Hawkman! 01:29:32.185 --> 01:29:32.625 Absolutely. 01:29:32.665 --> 01:29:32.965 He's coming up. 01:29:32.985 --> 01:29:34.245 Wow, we are in excellent hands. 01:29:34.305 --> 01:29:35.345 You are in excellent hands. 01:29:35.605 --> 01:29:36.466 Take care, listeners. 01:29:36.506 --> 01:29:37.146 Have a good week. 01:29:37.306 --> 01:29:37.626 We love you. 01:29:37.686 --> 01:29:37.926 Bye! 01:29:37.946 --> 01:29:38.006 Bye!