WEBVTT

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on the radio.

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Althea and Donna there.

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That's uptown top ranking.

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Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC6Music on a beautiful Saturday morning.

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It's going to be a hot one today, listeners.

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I know this is your first stop for weather information, and I can tell you that it's going to be around 75 Fahrenheit today, and that's hot.

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So it's going to be hot in other respects as well.

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In a sexy... In a sexy way, it's going to be Britain's sexiest day.

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That's right.

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I've just decided.

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Well, we should do like a sexy Black Squadron command then, shouldn't we?

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Should we?

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Yeah.

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Well, let's have the jingle first to wake up the squadron.

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Here we go.

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Black Squadron!

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Always catch the beginning of the show.

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Black Squadron don't want to miss a thing.

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That's not the way Black Squadron rolls.

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Went to bed at a reasonable hour.

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Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning.

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That's the secret of the squadron's power.

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Black Squadron!

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Yes, Black Squadron, of course, the elite listening force that listened to this show live between what, 10?

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10 and 10, 30.

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10, 30.

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There you go.

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This week's command is a sartorial command.

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It requires jiggling your clothes around.

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Clothes jiggling.

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Clothes jiggles?

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My favourite thing.

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Listen, I've, just before you carry on, I've noticed that I've started doing a thing with my voice that I've got to stop, I've got to eliminate.

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You know sometimes how when you go through phases in your life of acquiring twitches and kicks and quirks and quonks and at the moment I've got a vocal quonk and it is going like this, doing a little

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I have to break it to you, you've done that for a long time.

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Really?

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Yeah, you've only just become aware of it.

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You've only just noticed.

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Yeah, you've done that for a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.

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Christmas crackers.

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We've even talked about it.

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I'm sure we've talked about it.

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I know Jim Deans used to do that at school.

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It's like before you say something, you've had a thought and you think your thought is so delicious that you're just smacking your lips as if it's a sip of delicious wine.

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That's right.

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Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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That's your impression of me.

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Come on, I don't go... Well, that's the subtext.

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Yeah, that's the motif.

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I'm only teasing.

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No, it's a good quirk.

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We'll keep an eye out for that quirk.

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And if we see it, do you want us to eliminate it, generally?

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Yeah, that's one Pauline quirk I can live without.

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Yeah, so if we hear it, we'll make you aware of it.

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I shouldn't have mentioned it now, because I'm going to make everyone else aware of it, and now it's going to be irritating, isn't it?

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So listen, let's deal with the squadron though, okay?

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They are standing to attention.

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We're going to play some metronomy for you very soon.

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This is a hot band.

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Their new album is being well reviewed across the board, and we're going to play a track called The Bay as soon as Commander Cornballs issues the command.

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And if you're a New Squadron member, all you have to do is listen to the command, interpret it as you see fit, take a photo of yourself interpreting it and send it to 64046 on text or via email adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.

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And every single picture we receive, that's a lie, isn't it?

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Most of the pictures we receive will go up on the BBC blog.

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I wonder what criteria we use to filter out.

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photos.

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Are there any reasons why a photo might not appear on the blog?

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Obviously if it's lewd or unsettling.

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If there's excessive nudism or problem imagery.

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Problematic imagery?

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Yeah.

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Where do those photos go?

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I've got them.

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I want them.

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I'll show you them after.

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There's an amazing coveted box of illegal black squadron photos.

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Yeah.

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Contraband, dirty squadron material.

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Filthy squadron.

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filthy squadron speaking of which let's here we go it's time for the command stand by black squadron this morning's command is cross-dressing

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Oh, that's funky.

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That's a fun thing to do on a bass.

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Oh, that's funky.

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Do you like the word funky?

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Um, do I like the word funky?

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I prefer it used to describe stuff that stinks.

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Okay, yes, yes.

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That's funky.

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As a little musky.

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I think it should be taken back to its origins.

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Yeah, David Byrne uses it in that way.

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Does he?

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Yeah, like a funky old building.

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That's the way to use it, I think.

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Right.

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And so not to, unless you're talking about something that is actually to do with the genre, the musical genre funk.

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Yeah.

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But anything else like, ooh, that's a funky shirt.

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Look at your funky face.

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It's yeah, it doesn't feel right, does it?

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It's fallen out of currency.

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That was Metronomy, right?

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That was Metronomy.

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Yeah, with The Bay from their latest album, English Riviera.

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This is Adam and Joe, BBC6 music.

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Black Squadron Command is active.

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We're already receiving some stunning and startling photographs.

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There's this man.

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I don't really know his name.

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I'll get to his name later, but he's probably put on, would you say that's his partner's dress?

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her little summer dress.

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He's put on his partner's slippy top.

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And he's attempting to re-fabricate her bust.

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By sticking a toilet roll in there.

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Well, he should have, you know, what he was planning to do was take some toilet paper off and stuff it into a sort of breasticle shaped thing.

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But he hasn't bothered.

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He's just stuffed the tube down there.

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Start the tube, and it's not even a full tube, it's down to the last few sheets there.

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He's been busy.

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And he's got a very sort of sexy face.

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He does, he's snarling away.

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He's snarling away.

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I mean it's a nice little peek into the guy's world, into George's world.

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He is in a top floor flat there, he's got some windows that are on a slant, you know, roof windows.

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Is that how you would describe them?

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Yes, roof windows.

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He's got a kick-ass poster in the background there.

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He's a young sexy man.

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He looks a little bit like Mika He does doesn't he you know and he is snarling and he's absolutely fine Well in one respect he's fine with cross-dressing in another he's not really because he's still got his t-shirt on He doesn't want to betray his masculinity

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Well, he's quite her-stute.

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He is her-stute, isn't he?

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Keep those pictures coming in though, Black Squadron.

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We will describe some of the most outrageous ones in a second, once we've had a good look at them all.

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So Joe, do you watch BBC Four a lot?

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Sure I do.

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I love the arts.

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I love the arts, man.

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I absolutely adore the arts.

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can't get enough arts.

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I love to be covered in them.

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I love the smell of arts.

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I like the taste of the arts.

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Do you?

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Oh it's nice, it's delicious.

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What I do with the arts is sometimes I have a nibble, a little tiny nibble, they're always so hungry for arts!

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I stuff it all in my mouth!

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I stuff it all in my mouth!

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Can't get enough arts!

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Paint is coming out, paint is falling out of my mouth and sculptures and things like that plays.

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Sculptures?

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Sculptures falling out of the corner of my mouth.

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I love the arts is what I mean.

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We both love the arts.

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We do, don't we?

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We're from the arts.

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Why are you artsing?

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Because I enjoy watching those dramas they have based on real bits of history.

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I like them when they get very current as well.

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You know, when they dramatise.

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Have they got some of those on BBC Four?

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Well, man, there's something I saw recently that really surprised me because I didn't realise they'd done it.

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But it's the Adam and Joe story.

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No, it was on BBC4?

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It was on BBC4.

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Wow, and it was one of those prestige productions recreating our... It won a BAFTA.

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It did it?

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Yeah.

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The lead guy won a BAFTA, I think, for his portrayal of you, in fact.

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No.

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What actors did they cast in there, then?

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They cast Daniel Rigby and Brian Dick.

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Really?

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Daniel Rigby played Joe, and then Brian Dick played Adam.

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And what they did, it was mainly based on the events leading up to us being hired to do the six music show.

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Wow.

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and the subsequent global phenomenon that it became.

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And the producers, I think, chose to tone down the whole middle-class Southern thing.

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So our accents are not exactly as we speak now.

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But have a listen to this clip.

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It's remarkable how they capture the dynamic.

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Wow.

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What if we changed the act?

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What if we put more of ourselves out there?

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What have we been doing for the past 13 years?

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We've been a double act, but we've never been us.

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That's what we should do.

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Nobody's got what we've got.

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I'll tell you what, if it doesn't work out, we call it a day and no hard feelings.

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So this new act, what would it be?

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How would it start?

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You'll be short and bad-tempered.

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And I'll be tall and lazy.

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But we'll both be idiots.

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I mean, it's a little reductive.

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That was in the years before, you know, you became quite hard working and started doing it.

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Wow.

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They've really captured the way that we and all comedians, um, sort of have a discussion about exactly what they'll do.

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Yeah.

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And sort of quite a pithy discussion and lay it out in a couple of sentences.

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That's the conversation that we had, but we thought we've got to define exactly what this dynamic is before we get into it.

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Otherwise it could get a little messy.

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That's amazing.

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What was that really?

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What was that really from really?

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What do you mean?

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Eric and Ernie.

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Ah.

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Did you watch the whole thing?

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Yeah, loved it.

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Was he good?

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He was great and he deservedly won a BAFTA for that Daniel Rigby playing... No, was it?

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Daniel Rigby played Eric and Brian Dick played Ernie.

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So anyway, the tall funny one won the BAFTA.

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Weirdly, I watched one of those this week as well that I bought on DVD when I was away.

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It was the Falco story.

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Shut up.

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So they've made a film about... Shut up!

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Falco!

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yeah falco as in rock me amadeus yeah it's a dramatized documentary of the life of falco and i bought it how long is it 15 minutes no he was a big figure in wherever he was from austria he's hugely important yeah yeah yeah it has the moment where he decides his name where he's watching tv

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Yes, Falco.

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Falco.

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Yes, that's it.

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That would be called Falco.

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So he settles on it immediately?

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Immediately, yeah.

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It's not like, hmm.

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That's the scene.

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He just says it over and over again.

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I'll bring in some clips.

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It's extraordinary.

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Oh, I love those things.

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But it makes you realise that obviously he's huge in his country, so, you know, the local TV station, it makes sense to make a massive thing out of him, but when you export it into other countries where maybe he's not so famous, it starts showing up the sort of clichés of those things a bit.

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Do you know what I mean?

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Of course.

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Of course.

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And so there must be a very long sequence about Rock Me Amadeus.

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You know what?

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I haven't got to that bit yet.

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That's the best bit.

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I can't wait to hear how that goes.

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Let's have some music right now.

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This is your first free choice today, Joe.

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Yeah, this is Lee Fields and the Expressions.

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Now, Lee Fields has got some concerns about the world and he's very angry about certain things, certain issues.

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So what he's going to do is he's going to sing about them and almost shout about them in a very soulful voice.

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Is he a modern man?

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He's a modern man.

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Yeah, modernish.

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But he's going to do it over an extraordinarily... I can't use the word funky anymore, can I?

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Sorry, mate.

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A very soulful groove.

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You were the one that rained on that parade.

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So here we go.

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Here's a bit of political shouting and a pretty great bass line.

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Nice to be with you, listeners.

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This beautiful Saturday morning.

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Hope it's nice where you are.

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And what a beautiful collection of photos we've had sent by the Black Squadron, Britain's most elite listening force, who have embraced this morning's command of cross-dressing with verve and vigour.

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Do you think any of the squadron thought it was beyond the pale?

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Too much to ask?

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Well, some members of the squadron have tried to be clever.

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right they've put angry faces on bottles of dressing salad dressing good one cross dressing rachel and tim for instance were one of the first to do that jamie in london has a bottle of vinaigrette with a gr spell that in fridge magnet letters very nice um but many of them have gone for the real thing for instance steven in south hampton he's a manly man and he is wearing a lady a little slip pinny he's he's hair suit as well he certainly is uh and he's wearing a lovely

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little flouncy summer dress and he's doing an oooh face because a little gust of wind is threatening to blow it up and reveal his undercarriage.

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Well done Stephen.

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He's wearing his specs as well.

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He's a very dainty lady.

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This is a good one I've got up here on my telescreen and it is from Jason Kilner.

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and he and a lady maybe his lady partner we can i think it's safe to assume they've done the full thing haven't they they've totally swapped he is dressed in a lovely frilly pink satiny bridesmaid's dress it looks like or a ball gown he's even got a tiara

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And again, he is kind of a big, chunky, manly man.

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Hey, steady on.

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I'm not saying he's lardy.

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He's got a good figure, a very good figure.

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But yeah, certainly in the breasticle area, something's going on there.

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Unless he's padded himself.

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And then his lady partner is dressed as a sort of American football player type.

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No, she's a workman.

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She's got her protective work gear on.

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That's right.

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I thought that was an American football visor.

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Yeah, so she's like a welder.

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Yes.

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Or something out of Flashdance.

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Yeah, and she's got her protective welding trousers on there and a big butch belt on.

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What I like about this photo is it's very formal.

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They've gone into the garden to take it, they're standing shoulder to shoulder with quite straight faces, aren't they?

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And it's a good wide shot, you can see everything.

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In the garden and they have defined the respective roles of male and female They have the role of the female is to be beautiful and to flounce around flounce around balls flounce in France and the role of the man is to build and well flounce around balls

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Yeah, that's true though.

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Here's another one from David and Sophie in Bristol.

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This is quite badly printed so I can't quite tell what's going on, but David has, again, a very beautiful little cocktail dress on, hasn't he?

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Yes, he does.

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Much too small for him.

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And Sophie, I don't know, Sophie looks like she's dressed like Kevin out of Kevin and Perry.

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He's got nice long legs, David.

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Look at your nice legs.

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You should consider wearing more long dresses.

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I mean, lots of terrific photos.

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Paul and Katie.

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Paul has put on one of Katie's bras.

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He's either trying to get into it or get out of it.

14:32.818 --> 14:34.981
He's having some trouble fixing it from behind.

14:35.241 --> 14:38.485
And Robbie and James have done a very good job as well.

14:38.545 --> 14:39.086
Robbie there.

14:39.106 --> 14:40.989
What do you call that sort of a dress there?

14:42.048 --> 14:46.632
It's got a kind of busty, what's the word, the core city type situation.

14:46.652 --> 14:50.094
Yeah, unfortunately Robbie's right nipple is popping out.

14:50.534 --> 14:51.695
Which is a shame.

14:51.815 --> 14:52.896
Peeking out over the top there.

14:53.036 --> 14:53.616
But there we are.

14:53.936 --> 15:02.442
So congratulations Black Squadron and if you want to see some very challenging photos do check out the Adam and Joe blog later in the day where we'll put up everything that's put upable.

15:02.542 --> 15:06.224
BBC.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash Adam and Joe.

15:06.304 --> 15:07.825
Is there time to stand down the squadron?

15:08.146 --> 15:09.667
Let's do it now before the news.

15:13.499 --> 15:21.886
Stand down, your work is done You've earned yourself a nice warm bath And maybe a nice little bun But now it's 10.31 and it's time for the news

15:27.386 --> 15:52.392
very nice indeed that's super grass with caught by the fuz hey how you doing listeners adam and joe here and i think it's time we edged towards retro text the nation talking about last week's text the nation subject which of course was time murder but uh... before that we have a new jingle and this was sent into us by a mailman from glasgow incidentally quite a few messages this week from people saying why does so many

15:53.132 --> 16:17.709
uh postman listen to your show and why do you call them mailmen like americans now we mean like they're they're of the male gender this is from john t and he says dear adamski and joe bananas observing listeners submitting versions of your masterful jingles i decided to follow suit and brain flashed upon reworking retro text the nation in the style of my favorite full kirkian miserabilists arab strap

16:18.149 --> 16:21.751
so I got my mate Dave to record it with mics and plugs and knobs and drums.

16:22.351 --> 16:27.473
This is a slightly, he sent us in like a version of Text the Nation that was... Excuse me.

16:27.493 --> 16:27.893
Do you alright?

16:28.073 --> 16:29.014
Yeah, fine.

16:29.134 --> 16:30.355
Text the Nation.

16:30.375 --> 16:31.035
Text the Nation.

16:31.055 --> 16:33.196
What did he call us at the top of that email?

16:33.236 --> 16:34.316
Adamski and Joe Bananas.

16:34.816 --> 16:36.037
Joe Bananas is a new one.

16:36.057 --> 16:36.577
Do you like that?

16:36.857 --> 16:37.378
I like it.

16:37.978 --> 16:39.339
Adamski's been used before.

16:39.839 --> 16:40.859
Yeah, Adamski's always good.

16:40.879 --> 16:41.479
Joe Bananas is good.

16:41.519 --> 16:43.040
That's something else people are doing.

16:43.380 --> 16:44.041
Giving us names.

16:44.141 --> 16:44.401
Yeah.

16:44.661 --> 16:45.021
I like it.

16:45.321 --> 16:45.941
I like it too.

16:45.981 --> 16:46.782
Most of them are pretty good.

16:48.103 --> 16:49.083
So this is very good.

16:49.103 --> 16:54.146
This is the less Arab Strapi of the two jingles that he sent us, but it is extremely Glaswegian.

16:54.886 --> 16:55.547
Check this out.

16:56.247 --> 17:02.370
I used to listen to Arab and Joe, but I listened to the podcast, not a live show.

17:02.891 --> 17:08.974
I used to feel acute frustration cause I couldn't join in with Text-A-Nation.

17:09.434 --> 17:15.438
But now my troubles have disappeared because Retro Text-A-Nation's here.

17:16.398 --> 17:23.986
And now my loud may be red instead of chalked in the bin and forgotten about

17:26.241 --> 17:30.965
It's great heightening, isn't it, to hear someone who can do that voice as well as we can.

17:33.667 --> 17:35.569
Wouldn't you say?

17:35.869 --> 17:36.550
Absolutely.

17:36.750 --> 17:42.895
It's great to hear someone doing like a proper Scottish accent for a change rather than their rubbish.

17:42.935 --> 17:44.716
You hear from a lot of these... Oh no, my dear.

17:44.997 --> 17:45.517
...subter.

17:45.837 --> 17:47.499
Oh, your talkies are on fire!

17:49.305 --> 17:51.166
You described that as Glaswegian.

17:51.186 --> 17:52.646
Are you confident about that?

17:53.127 --> 17:54.707
He says he's a mailman from Glasgow.

17:54.927 --> 17:55.588
Okay, good.

17:55.788 --> 17:57.508
You've got the facts to back up your opinions.

17:57.969 --> 18:00.510
Is he sounding like a Ned?

18:01.090 --> 18:01.550
I don't know.

18:02.870 --> 18:06.092
What, that's a non-educated delinquent that stands for, doesn't it?

18:06.292 --> 18:07.292
Peter Mullen's film.

18:07.712 --> 18:08.693
It's supposed to be very good.

18:08.713 --> 18:09.293
I haven't seen it.

18:09.393 --> 18:09.533
Ned's.

18:09.553 --> 18:11.054
I didn't know that it was an acronym, Ned's.

18:12.254 --> 18:15.918
Anyway, you could tell us maybe if you know exactly if that sounded like a Ned or not.

18:16.218 --> 18:17.019
But that's beautiful!

18:17.119 --> 18:18.260
I don't think that sounded like a Ned.

18:18.280 --> 18:22.304
It all just sounded like a very articulate man with a very beautiful accent, singing very well.

18:22.364 --> 18:27.068
Quite right, I would buy an album by John T. He's brilliant, John T. He's very good.

18:27.208 --> 18:27.909
He's a clever man.

18:27.929 --> 18:28.830
So, time murder.

18:29.590 --> 18:36.717
Thank you so much for your messages on this subject, and we were talking about ways that you absolutely and defensively waste your time.

18:37.097 --> 19:01.257
last week have you got any there joe sure this is one from gibbo in fleet dear jay corn and uncle buck when i'm bored i sometimes close my eyes and rub my eyelids to induce a kaleidoscopic light show i experiment with different pressures and movements to create exciting effects and patterns you may think it sounds a bit loopy but it's a safe legal alternative to other psychedelic options and certainly could have saved the beetles a lot of unnecessarily

19:02.317 --> 19:04.239
Oh, sorry, that's from Righty in London.

19:04.339 --> 19:05.099
Gibbo's the next one.

19:05.460 --> 19:06.520
Yeah, Righty in London.

19:07.101 --> 19:07.881
What do you make of that?

19:08.742 --> 19:10.123
He's talking about entoptics.

19:10.643 --> 19:12.224
Yes, we've discussed these before.

19:12.264 --> 19:13.025
Phenomenon, isn't it?

19:13.105 --> 19:16.828
This is the kind of psychedelic Paisley design that appears.

19:16.868 --> 19:17.728
Checkerboard I get.

19:18.009 --> 19:18.829
I get Paisley.

19:18.929 --> 19:19.309
Do you?

19:19.390 --> 19:22.051
Yeah, the inside of my eyeballs are very Laura Ashley.

19:22.652 --> 19:25.274
Oh, mine are very much like a kind of psychedelic chessboard.

19:25.374 --> 19:25.634
Really?

19:25.654 --> 19:28.256
Well, that's the difference between us, and that's why we'll never get on.

19:30.398 --> 19:31.419
You have to be careful though.

19:31.519 --> 19:32.740
Be careful with pressing your eyes.

19:32.900 --> 19:35.042
They're very valuable eggs.

19:35.502 --> 19:38.725
You shouldn't press them so hard that they pop into your skull and then come out of your mouth.

19:38.745 --> 19:39.426
No, no, no, no.

19:39.486 --> 19:40.767
Be very gentle.

19:40.787 --> 19:41.968
You've only got one pair of eyes.

19:42.689 --> 19:43.850
Did you know the human eyes?

19:44.271 --> 19:46.773
Is this true they stay the same size from when you were born?

19:47.754 --> 19:48.755
Is that true?

19:48.875 --> 19:49.255
It is true.

19:49.435 --> 19:52.979
I was chuckling because I used to think that it was the head.

19:53.799 --> 19:55.239
That stayed the same size.

19:55.439 --> 19:56.460
You know, like you have arguments.

19:56.500 --> 20:00.861
One of my arguments was about whether Concord went supersonic or at the speed of light.

20:00.881 --> 20:01.301
We discussed that.

20:01.821 --> 20:05.982
And my other argument, which I got very heated, I said that it went at the speed of light, incidentally.

20:06.002 --> 20:06.762
No listeners.

20:07.202 --> 20:08.542
And I was quite old at the time.

20:09.022 --> 20:14.764
And one of my other arguments was, yeah, did you know that the human head remains the same size from birth until death?

20:14.824 --> 20:15.804
Interesting fun fact.

20:16.024 --> 20:16.484
Do another one.

20:16.684 --> 20:33.880
you got one uh yeah here we go um this is from uh now i've got to say this right it's jared with a soft g not a hard g i hate it when people say it like that says jared uh he says dear his royal buttness and l cornerino

20:34.540 --> 20:41.044
My girlfriend Hannah, who I call Moomin because she's like a beautiful Moomin, had an important work deadline one evening.

20:41.285 --> 20:46.088
I left her to get on with it in our flat, and when I returned later that night, I found her asleep.

20:46.508 --> 20:56.535
I turned on the laptop and saw there was a lot of browser tabs still open on her search, you know, software that stemmed from two original sets of search results.

20:57.115 --> 21:04.320
One was the search term psychological theories of procrastination, and the other had results for health benefits of drinking

21:04.440 --> 21:04.901
champagne.

21:07.463 --> 21:08.965
Ta-ta from Gerard.

21:09.045 --> 21:10.086
Wow, I'm going to search that.

21:10.947 --> 21:11.668
That's good, isn't it?

21:11.708 --> 21:14.170
Just think, now listen, I'm procrastinating.

21:14.230 --> 21:18.875
I better make something out of this and find out about the philosophy behind the whole practice.

21:19.135 --> 21:24.040
And while I'm doing that, I'm going to have a glass of champagne and find out about the philosophy behind that.

21:24.060 --> 21:25.001
I'm going to celebrate.

21:26.042 --> 21:27.303
Finally, here's one from Naomi.

21:27.563 --> 21:28.203
I say finally.

21:28.683 --> 21:30.244
Kind of made an executive decision there.

21:30.845 --> 21:36.187
She says, dear Adam and Joe, I spend a lot of my time spending time in the following ways.

21:37.248 --> 21:42.810
I like to select areas on my computer desktop by using my mouse and making squares or rectangles.

21:43.211 --> 21:48.273
Brackets, they show in a pale blue color usually and disappear almost the moment you unclick the mouse.

21:48.893 --> 21:52.295
This is a good way to look busy at work and it's fun to do it faster and faster.

21:52.635 --> 21:53.656
I also do it at home.

21:54.416 --> 21:55.117
Now I do that.

21:55.517 --> 21:56.497
And it is fun, isn't it?

21:56.617 --> 21:57.038
Sure it is.

21:57.238 --> 22:01.320
The squares appear nicer and the squares are slightly different colors.

22:01.340 --> 22:01.980
They disappear.

22:02.361 --> 22:06.603
This is a little bit like the Adam Curtis film at the moment.

22:06.803 --> 22:09.604
All watched over by machines.

22:09.624 --> 22:10.705
Benevolent machines or something.

22:11.085 --> 22:12.106
Lovely grace or something.

22:12.726 --> 22:17.769
All about how the computer dream has turned out to be slightly less than we hoped it might be.

22:17.809 --> 22:19.650
There's a second part to Naomi's email.

22:19.990 --> 22:23.334
She says, I also sometimes read a pretend magazine in my head.

22:23.794 --> 22:31.362
The pages are often formatted in the style of a page that you might find in a typical women's magazine and the words somehow appear ready for me to read.

22:31.842 --> 22:34.345
It's not about writing or thinking about ideas for articles.

22:34.645 --> 22:41.011
It's simply reading the words that are there, perhaps about the latest clothing craze or an interview with David Attenborough or somebody.

22:42.404 --> 22:43.885
Unlikely to be an interview with David Attenborough.

22:43.925 --> 22:48.249
An imaginary magazine that she doesn't actually have to think of, it just appears in her head and she reads it.

22:49.210 --> 22:52.252
Now, she may be a genius and she should work in mags.

22:52.332 --> 22:53.213
She should make a mag.

22:53.493 --> 22:55.415
Well that would be a good lady mag, you know.

22:55.515 --> 22:57.337
It would be called Naomi.

22:57.517 --> 22:57.777
Sure.

22:58.117 --> 22:59.298
Exclamation mag.

22:59.338 --> 22:59.558
Yeah.

23:00.599 --> 23:02.880
Now, you mentioned Gibbo earlier on, so we've got to read Gibbo's one.

23:03.460 --> 23:04.100
He's in Fleet.

23:04.560 --> 23:16.725
He says, to kill time whilst bored, I look up old soap characters on Wikipedia and read their backstories, and then follow the link to another character that they may have been married to or had an affair with, etc.

23:17.045 --> 23:22.587
I can waste hours flicking from character to character, reading all these stories even though I can remember most of them anyway.

23:23.027 --> 23:26.068
Afterwards, I feel like I'm literally wasting my youth.

23:26.829 --> 23:27.449
Well you are.

23:27.790 --> 23:29.271
Literally are Gibbo.

23:29.671 --> 23:30.011
Wow.

23:31.072 --> 23:34.394
I didn't think there was anything more vapid than watching soap operas.

23:35.134 --> 23:35.795
But I'm wrong.

23:37.756 --> 23:39.617
So thank you very much for all your messages there.

23:39.657 --> 23:41.999
We'll have some textination later in the show.

23:42.359 --> 23:44.020
But right now here's Tune Yards.

23:44.060 --> 23:45.641
I played a bit of Tune Yards the other day.

23:45.681 --> 23:47.302
I've been very much enjoying her album.

23:47.322 --> 23:48.022
Tune Yards?

23:48.062 --> 23:49.083
Yeah this is business.

23:58.709 --> 24:14.360
eyeballs according to general ophthalmology uh brackets vaughan aesbury and reardon eva appleton and lange stanford 1999 quote the size of the eyeball at birth averages 16.5 millimeters in diameter front to back measurement in adults

24:14.500 --> 24:33.906
the diameter is 24.2 millimeters the maximum eye size is reached when a person is seven to eight years old so the eye grows 50 percent in diameter and to something over double its birth weight to plus 115 percent but the head remains the same head remains exactly the same size which is amazing she's incredible that's why it's very difficult for a lady to give birth

24:34.286 --> 24:39.108
Wouldn't that be... wouldn't that be... It would be good if that was true though, the eyeball thing, don't you think?

24:39.288 --> 24:40.588
So what is it that remains the same size?

24:40.608 --> 24:41.549
Nothing, nothing, nothing.

24:41.569 --> 24:43.149
I mean, it's all just chaotic.

24:43.269 --> 24:43.569
Winky.

24:43.629 --> 24:45.210
But, uh... Nothing.

24:47.131 --> 24:50.092
You know, facts like that should be true, like that dogs can't look up.

24:50.672 --> 24:52.573
You want them to be true, why can't they be true?

24:52.613 --> 24:54.113
Are there any of those things that are true?

24:54.133 --> 24:55.614
Are they all just rubbish?

24:55.634 --> 24:56.234
You know who would know?

24:56.614 --> 24:57.094
Who would know?

24:57.194 --> 24:57.655
Stephen Fry.

24:58.035 --> 24:59.055
He would know, wouldn't he?

24:59.135 --> 24:59.635
He knows everything.

24:59.655 --> 25:01.176
If we had him on the line, we could, uh...

25:01.856 --> 25:02.157
Ask him.

25:02.577 --> 25:08.523
Now I saw a wonderful documentary the other day that came out in 2007 and you remember how much I love the arts?

25:11.095 --> 25:11.716
Yes, I do.

25:11.756 --> 25:12.676
You were talking about it earlier.

25:12.696 --> 25:13.857
I absolutely love arts.

25:14.478 --> 25:17.860
And if there's one thing I love more than the arts, it's rock and roll.

25:18.261 --> 25:18.561
Right.

25:19.081 --> 25:22.064
And when the two come together, life doesn't get any better for Buckle.

25:22.104 --> 25:22.664
You're cool.

25:22.904 --> 25:23.145
Yeah.

25:23.165 --> 25:23.585
You're so cool.

25:24.085 --> 25:36.035
A culture show special from 2007, this was, with Lou Reed talking to Six Music's very own lovely Lauren Laverne about why he was recreating his album Berlin from 1973 for a series of live shows.

25:38.977 --> 25:53.756
And it was a really great program one hour with sort of overviews of Reid's career intertwined with performances from Berlin and putting the album in context and then a very disarming series of encounters between Lou and Lauren herself.

25:54.477 --> 26:03.002
Now Lou Reed is notoriously ornery, if that's the word, and difficult with interviewers and journalists and that kind of thing.

26:03.723 --> 26:10.046
I'll play you a clip right now of Lou conducting another interview with a young TV journalist from a Swedish culture program.

26:10.447 --> 26:12.468
This is on YouTube, you can find it.

26:12.888 --> 26:23.515
Towards the end of the interview, this journalist, who's like a young guy and clearly quite in awe of Lou Reed and doing his best and having quite a hard time with Lou Reed in this hotel room or whatever,

26:24.836 --> 26:30.060
The journalist asks cautiously if Lew has any prejudices of any kind, and this is his answer.

26:30.341 --> 26:32.002
Do you have any prejudice?

26:32.723 --> 26:32.983
Me?

26:33.003 --> 26:35.045
Oh, I don't like journalists.

26:35.826 --> 26:37.387
Oh, I despise them.

26:37.948 --> 26:38.188
Why?

26:38.688 --> 26:39.569
They're disgusting.

26:40.510 --> 26:41.411
Mainly the English.

26:41.871 --> 26:42.331
They're pigs.

26:43.856 --> 26:46.938
What nationality was that journalist?

26:47.038 --> 26:47.839
He was Swedish.

26:48.379 --> 26:50.861
So at the end he's like, yeah, that's a good point.

26:50.941 --> 26:51.981
They are pigs, aren't they?

26:52.241 --> 26:52.502
Yeah.

26:53.262 --> 26:57.264
So that's, that's your classic standard Lou Reed for a lot of journalists.

26:57.845 --> 27:03.008
So Lauren Laverne makes this point at the beginning of the documentary and says that she was a little bit trepidatious.

27:03.588 --> 27:04.709
But Lou likes Lauren.

27:05.350 --> 27:07.472
He thinks she's absolutely great.

27:07.912 --> 27:15.820
And he melts in front of her and is just the model of smiley charm right the way through this interview.

27:16.200 --> 27:17.682
He loves all her questions.

27:17.842 --> 27:20.905
Everything is just dandy as far as he's concerned with Lauren LaFern.

27:21.365 --> 27:24.989
Here's a clip right now of the two of them watching

27:25.589 --> 27:32.757
Some footage of Lou in the 60s when his hair was big and shaggy and the sexy chemistry really begins to bubble here.

27:32.797 --> 27:33.218
Have a listen.

27:40.766 --> 27:41.787
Yeah, so they're getting on well.

27:41.827 --> 27:43.588
Nice little compliment from Lauren there.

27:44.029 --> 27:46.510
And Lou Reed really likes it, you know, that's very nice.

27:46.891 --> 27:55.257
Then Lauren asks Lou if he was bothered by the very harsh critical reception that met the release of the album Berlin in 73.

27:55.897 --> 28:00.941
So Lou brushes away this suggestion as if to say, Oh, come on, Lauren, I don't know what you've heard.

28:01.381 --> 28:08.106
But I'm you know, I don't want it to stand in the way of us enjoying some very sexy time together my whole relationship with journalists.

28:08.306 --> 28:08.907
Let's have a listen.

28:09.229 --> 28:11.431
Because the reviews were really, really harsh.

28:11.631 --> 28:13.632
And I mean, did that affect you?

28:13.672 --> 28:21.418
I know that you don't care for the opinion of journalists too much, but... Well, believe it or not, there's some journalists that I'm quite attached to.

28:22.099 --> 28:22.399
Really?

28:22.619 --> 28:22.959
Yes.

28:24.901 --> 28:25.341
Yes.

28:26.182 --> 28:31.666
And one of them sitting right in front of me, and she's got blonde hair, and she's got Lauren.

28:32.186 --> 28:33.527
Here's another clip right now.

28:33.888 --> 28:36.610
It's time to actually ask her out, I think.

28:38.170 --> 28:38.671
on the program.

28:38.691 --> 28:42.012
Lou can't wait until after the interview is over to ask Lauren out.

28:42.212 --> 28:45.993
So he decides more or less to do it on the show while they're recording.

28:46.033 --> 28:47.294
What are the relative ages here?

28:47.954 --> 28:50.675
So Lou is, well Lauren, how old is she?

28:50.715 --> 28:53.616
She's 31 or something, early 30s.

28:54.277 --> 28:56.458
Lou is 100 I think.

28:57.218 --> 28:59.639
No, Lou must be in his early 60s by now.

29:00.519 --> 29:02.101
I would say or maybe mid-60s.

29:02.141 --> 29:02.942
Highly compatible.

29:02.962 --> 29:05.504
I mean Bowie is mid-60s now I think isn't he?

29:05.544 --> 29:07.546
So Lou's got to be around that that mark.

29:08.007 --> 29:11.450
Pretty well preserved in his craggly way and looking quite cool in this interview.

29:11.811 --> 29:15.875
But anyway here's Lou more or less asking Lauren out.

29:16.311 --> 29:20.213
How have you changed since the release of the record first time around?

29:20.293 --> 29:22.033
How have I changed?

29:22.073 --> 29:22.794
Have you changed?

29:22.814 --> 29:23.274
Are you kidding?

29:24.034 --> 29:26.395
In that amount of time, how have I changed?

29:27.555 --> 29:34.418
In so many ways, we'd probably have to sit down and have many, many drinks to enumerate how I've changed in that amount of time.

29:35.178 --> 29:38.920
So let's go and have them after the interview.

29:38.940 --> 29:41.301
I mean, you hear how soft his voice is.

29:41.381 --> 29:44.042
Like, normally he's so taciturn and gruff.

29:44.682 --> 29:49.065
You get like monosyllabic answers out of him generally, or, you know, what happened next?

29:49.085 --> 29:49.525
Do you think?

29:49.765 --> 29:52.287
Well, they have to wrap the interview up finally.

29:52.707 --> 29:54.389
I mean, it's, it's heartbreaking.

29:54.449 --> 29:55.129
It's a shame.

29:55.269 --> 30:02.494
And here is how the interview is concluded, leaving no one in any doubt as to where Lou wishes the relationship was going.

30:02.924 --> 30:06.007
Well, Lou, thank you so much for talking to me today, it's been an absolute pleasure.

30:06.347 --> 30:07.248
Well, for me too.

30:07.268 --> 30:08.769
Good luck with the gigs, thank you.

30:08.829 --> 30:11.592
I guess you'll be one of the London journalists that I'm really in love with.

30:12.552 --> 30:13.133
Thank you, Lou.

30:13.173 --> 30:13.473
Sure.

30:16.836 --> 30:18.417
Wow, have you talked to Lauren about this?

30:18.478 --> 30:22.861
No, and by this time, Lauren, instead of thinking, maybe I will have a little slice of Lou.

30:23.722 --> 30:24.883
Even though she's happily married.

30:25.003 --> 30:26.044
Sexy tortoise, actually.

30:26.064 --> 30:26.605
With a child.

30:28.254 --> 30:28.574
Exactly!

30:28.955 --> 30:34.741
She's sort of thinking, well, flippin' A. Yeah, that's him going in for a kiss.

30:34.761 --> 30:43.870
I thought that was the way Bob Dylan sounded when he went in for a kiss with Alicia Keys.

30:43.890 --> 30:45.131
Yeah, that's the same.

30:46.132 --> 30:47.493
The sexy old rot tortoise.

30:52.045 --> 30:57.286
You know the way they pull little bits of lettuce into their mouth like a centimetre at a time on the tongue?

30:58.187 --> 30:58.807
And take that.

31:00.547 --> 31:01.828
That's what will be going on there.

31:03.228 --> 31:04.448
Lauren Lettice Laverne.

31:06.909 --> 31:07.689
Being thumped up.

31:10.230 --> 31:11.970
I got a bit of your blonde hair now.

31:14.551 --> 31:14.892
Wow.

31:16.152 --> 31:17.573
There's so much to talk about there.

31:19.814 --> 31:22.295
There's a lot of sexy flirty interviews online with people.

31:22.335 --> 31:29.699
There's one with Frank Zappa where he's unusually... The relationship between journalists and artists is weird, isn't it?

31:29.719 --> 31:31.140
And critics and artists is weird.

31:31.420 --> 31:36.202
It's like journalists are constantly trying to get a rise out of the performer by writing really provocative stuff.

31:36.843 --> 31:40.304
And then other journalists are going, you know, did that get you?

31:40.464 --> 31:41.205
Did we get to you?

31:41.685 --> 31:42.926
You know, even years later.

31:43.726 --> 32:02.186
did particular articles get under their skin yes it's just like sort of bear baiting it's weird of course it's a dance it's a dance and every now and again it's Torvill and Dean do you ever imagine yourself when you're very very you know when you're older when you're like in your 60s 70s and how you will dress to look like a like a sexy sexy old man

32:04.388 --> 32:08.732
If I can't handle it at this point, how am I going to be?

32:08.752 --> 32:11.074
I'm just going to be like a full-on tramp at that point, aren't I?

32:11.594 --> 32:12.835
Some women find that attractive.

32:12.935 --> 32:13.716
Yeah, let's hope so.

32:15.015 --> 32:15.816
OK, there you go.

32:16.056 --> 32:17.837
So I thought I'd play a bit of Velvet Underground.

32:17.857 --> 32:22.039
Now, this was a track that Lou Reed wrote, but Mo Tucker sang.

32:22.820 --> 32:27.163
And I actually sang this to my wife when we got married 10 years ago, it was.

32:28.123 --> 32:33.447
But then, like, a few months later, it turned up on a commercial, like a Hyundai advert.

32:34.187 --> 32:37.609
And then I thought, oh no, everyone thinks that I just nicked off the higher diab.

32:37.650 --> 32:44.414
Then it was on Morvan Kaller on the soundtrack in 2002, and then it was on the film Savages and Juno in 2007.

32:45.335 --> 32:46.536
Anyway, it's still a good track.

32:46.636 --> 32:47.917
This is I'm Sticking With You.

32:48.575 --> 32:50.556
There's Fleet Foxes with Lorelei.

32:50.977 --> 32:52.377
This is Adam and Joe on 6music.

32:52.417 --> 32:56.540
Fleet Foxes, of course, are in town.

32:56.900 --> 32:58.761
They were playing at The Ham-io.

32:58.961 --> 33:00.002
Is that what it's still called?

33:00.022 --> 33:01.743
I didn't know it was called The Ham-io.

33:01.863 --> 33:03.304
Earlier this week.

33:04.805 --> 33:11.251
Um, and my lady partner girlfriend was there and she reported back an extraordinary occurrence.

33:11.811 --> 33:15.815
Do you remember the sort of, um, catchphrase stroke meme this program used to have?

33:16.115 --> 33:16.515
Steven?

33:16.916 --> 33:17.916
Steven, yes.

33:18.477 --> 33:22.761
There was, uh, there was a lot of that going on, would you say last year or the year before?

33:22.841 --> 33:23.761
When did it peak?

33:24.082 --> 33:25.503
Stevenage peaked two years ago.

33:25.723 --> 33:51.996
two years ago yeah oh it's yesterday's news yeah but not according to mr pecknold the lead singer of the fleet foxes right he missed it at the concerts there was no stevening at the fleet foxes concerts this year and of course fleet foxes were uh victims is that the right word to use of stevening quite heavily there was a lot of stevenage at their last series of shows for some reason out of all bands they seem to get a lot of stevening

33:52.256 --> 33:52.877
a couple of years ago.

33:52.897 --> 33:55.139
Well, it's because they've got sensitive, intelligent listeners.

33:55.159 --> 33:55.659
They do.

33:56.140 --> 33:59.763
But this year, at their concerts at the Hamio, there was no Stevenage.

33:59.823 --> 34:00.023
No.

34:00.444 --> 34:03.146
And lead singer, Mr Pecknold, pointed this out.

34:03.647 --> 34:07.490
And here's an email that comes from Lucy...

34:08.231 --> 34:10.854
Beevor, B-W-E-V-O-R.

34:11.394 --> 34:15.058
She says, so we were at the Fleet Fox's rather marvelous gig at the Hammersmith Apollo last night.

34:15.098 --> 34:18.742
Everyone was having a wonderful time, lots of cheering and whooping at the sight and sound of the lovely mountain men.

34:19.163 --> 34:26.410
Suddenly Pecknold takes to the mic in between songs and says in a curious tone, Sol, like, what happened to the Steven thing?

34:26.450 --> 34:27.451
Was that just a fad?

34:28.112 --> 34:34.173
queue gasps of breath and literally tens of shouts of Steven and of course the appropriate response of just coming.

34:34.433 --> 34:42.315
This went on for a good minute before Mr Pecknold sidled back up to the mic and sheepishly apologised for opening a great big nest of eggs.

34:42.575 --> 34:42.995
Egg nest?

34:43.235 --> 34:43.495
Wow.

34:43.855 --> 34:52.977
I thought I would send this in as not only has there been a distinct lack of Stevenage on this run of the show but I was one of the squadron members who alerted you to the Stevenage being whipped up at the Fleet Foxes UK gigs a couple of years back.

34:53.317 --> 34:57.058
Thus I now feel it is my very special duty to report back on such important events.

34:57.338 --> 34:58.399
Well done, Lucy.

34:58.419 --> 34:59.740
You're going to get a medal for that.

35:01.021 --> 35:01.501
Here we go.

35:01.541 --> 35:03.242
I'm pinning it on your chest.

35:03.482 --> 35:04.303
Look at that.

35:04.383 --> 35:05.303
It looks nice there.

35:05.343 --> 35:07.565
Sorry, I just touched... OK.

35:08.045 --> 35:09.226
So that's exciting news, isn't it?

35:09.326 --> 35:10.127
Yeah, that's amazing.

35:10.167 --> 35:11.628
Mr. Pecknold, he missed the Stevenage.

35:11.848 --> 35:12.368
Pecknold?

35:12.408 --> 35:12.869
He asked.

35:12.909 --> 35:13.889
He was Steven-baiting.

35:13.909 --> 35:14.630
He's begging for it.

35:14.650 --> 35:17.152
He associates it with his visits to England.

35:17.232 --> 35:17.472
Yeah.

35:17.692 --> 35:20.234
It's a peculiarly British pastime that's not just a fad.

35:20.274 --> 35:22.575
It's something he expects to hear every time he comes to this country.

35:22.615 --> 35:26.278
It's as British as tea, crumpets, croquet on the lawn and hoodies.

35:26.838 --> 35:27.118
Yes.

35:28.099 --> 35:33.143
I went to see the Fleet Foxes performing in the BBC what's it called musical radio theatre.

35:33.203 --> 35:33.543
Canteen.

35:33.863 --> 35:34.123
Yeah.

35:34.764 --> 35:42.229
Last night they were recording a concert for Radio 2 which is going to be on this Thursday from 8pm with Joe Wylie and it was beautiful.

35:42.789 --> 35:43.630
No Stevenage there though.

35:43.650 --> 35:44.370
No Stevenage there.

35:44.390 --> 35:45.730
It was a very respectful atmosphere.

35:45.810 --> 35:46.871
They were wonderful.

35:47.551 --> 35:50.252
There were different sorts of people in the crowd.

35:50.272 --> 35:51.913
It was quite a Radio 2 crowd.

35:51.933 --> 35:52.613
A lot of mountain men.

35:52.834 --> 35:58.036
Well there were different levels of enthusiasm and I don't know whether you've experienced this at a sit down gig in particular.

35:58.296 --> 36:00.757
I mean you can be more free and easy if you're at a standing gig.

36:00.977 --> 36:01.217
Sure.

36:01.237 --> 36:02.938
You know you can clap, whoop, holler.

36:03.238 --> 36:06.319
This was more of a sort of a concert hall environment.

36:06.720 --> 36:07.660
It was more sedate.

36:07.880 --> 36:11.742
People shuffling papers and... Well most of the audience wanted to sit

36:12.182 --> 36:30.556
and lightly sway in their chairs and enjoy the music there was one man who that wasn't good enough he had to stand up and clap very very loudly through all the songs on his own he was the only one standing yeah but he made a big thing of it through the whole concert swaying his arms shouting and clapping

36:31.357 --> 36:37.880
And then there were another two people that were so excited by him and the fact that, look at him, he's really enjoying this concert.

36:37.900 --> 36:38.540
He's starting a thing.

36:38.620 --> 36:40.121
He doesn't care about these stick in the muds.

36:40.341 --> 36:40.701
He's right.

36:40.881 --> 36:41.642
Everyone else is wrong.

36:41.942 --> 36:50.165
And I could see, because I was sitting on the balcony above, I was watching, I could see this woman really trying to get into it in her seat, really wanting to stand up.

36:50.526 --> 36:55.228
But her boyfriend was looking a little bit nervous and sort of trying to calm her down.

36:55.928 --> 36:57.730
No, look at him over there, the big man swaying.

36:58.051 --> 36:58.952
I want to be like him.

36:58.972 --> 37:01.796
And she was starting to disturb everybody around her.

37:02.296 --> 37:08.545
So there were lots of different energies in the room and no one quite knew how to deal with it because it's exciting music.

37:09.125 --> 37:10.007
Everyone liked to clap.

37:11.574 --> 37:12.575
Like round their campfire.

37:12.715 --> 37:20.239
Yeah, they like to clap and you could see that I don't know how bands feel about clapping, especially English clapping, because it went a bit out of sync every now and then.

37:20.259 --> 37:21.180
It always does though, doesn't it?

37:21.200 --> 37:21.960
It always does.

37:22.481 --> 37:27.523
And your heart sinks a bit at the beginning of the song when the audience start doing that.

37:27.583 --> 37:30.745
And then the clappers themselves realise, oh, we're out of sync.

37:30.885 --> 37:31.586
We better stop.

37:32.446 --> 37:35.428
I mean that must be tricky, that's the test of a real musician though isn't it?

37:35.468 --> 37:39.130
If you can, because the other thing is that they're hearing it all through their monitors and everything.

37:39.150 --> 37:48.295
Well you can see that they're all craning a bit, they're all like tilting their necks to listen to the actual drummer rather than the audience so they don't get sort of pulled off the beat.

37:48.555 --> 37:57.240
But it was a fantastic gig and it was a great audience and it was really good so do check it out if you're a Fleet Foxes fan, 8pm this Thursday on Radio 2.

37:57.320 --> 37:58.561
Was there anyone panning for gold?

37:59.361 --> 38:19.253
there wasn't no no goats it's a great shame panning for gold i said not yeah no but what do they have goats while they you know you can't just because there's not enough gold comes up you have to look after goats you have to start panning for goats yeah i always expect the fleet foxes to bring their goats but they they didn't they must have been backstage how very rude maybe they couldn't get them through customs uh here's blur this is song two

38:20.496 --> 38:23.858
I always remember my dad getting upset with that song because of the lyrics.

38:23.878 --> 38:24.779
Do you remember that?

38:24.919 --> 38:25.079
I do.

38:25.539 --> 38:33.645
Why would you... He was angry about the fact that Damon Albarn had put himself in the... The path of a jumbo jet to get his hair cut.

38:34.005 --> 38:34.385
Exactly.

38:34.405 --> 38:35.726
He just thought it was... Irresponsible.

38:35.786 --> 38:38.207
Totally irresponsible and a stupid thing.

38:38.247 --> 38:39.248
It really annoyed him.

38:39.728 --> 38:43.271
He just thought, well, you know, if that's what you're going to do, then I've got no sympathy for you.

38:43.971 --> 38:45.192
Yeah, but setting a bad example.

38:45.612 --> 39:03.481
setting a bad example is dangerous it's not encouraging young people to get their haircut via a low-flying aircraft exactly it's not it's not very dangerous bad enough that you've got a stupid haircut you have to do it by putting yourself and everyone on the plane in danger shall we do some pop rope creation let's have the jingle crank it up james

39:04.674 --> 39:30.749
I like to change the lyrics of songs from time to time To make them refer to things I do I call it pop-hop creation and as far as I'm aware it isn't a crime I wonder if it's something you do too

39:37.278 --> 39:39.100
It's more laid back than a lot of my jingles.

39:39.680 --> 39:40.161
I like it.

39:40.181 --> 39:41.642
Appropriation.

39:41.702 --> 39:42.242
It's funky.

39:42.503 --> 39:45.525
Let's fire things off this week with an anonymous one.

39:46.887 --> 40:01.700
And this is from a lady who says, when me and my partner find ourselves lying back to back in bed with our cheeks touching, we sing, lady in bed is sleeping with me.

40:04.471 --> 40:05.352
cheek to cheek.

40:06.233 --> 40:06.873
That's sexy.

40:07.034 --> 40:07.474
It is sexy.

40:07.514 --> 40:08.195
Is it a typo?

40:08.215 --> 40:11.057
She actually, instead of writing bed, she writes bad.

40:11.077 --> 40:11.698
Yeah.

40:12.058 --> 40:12.339
Yeah.

40:12.639 --> 40:13.580
Lying back to back in bad.

40:13.700 --> 40:14.501
That's quite exciting.

40:14.721 --> 40:15.542
Let's go to bad.

40:15.562 --> 40:17.003
She's feeling guilty.

40:19.566 --> 40:20.447
I have got one here.

40:20.807 --> 40:23.950
Hello, buxosaurus and cornodactyl.

40:24.531 --> 40:24.931
Crikey.

40:27.114 --> 40:27.896
Ah, here we go.

40:27.956 --> 40:34.408
The other night, I asked my wife, Sian, if she was running a bath for herself, and she said, no, it's for the cats.

40:35.529 --> 40:41.074
So I began to sing, sarcastic woman, to her, to the tune of More Than a Woman, i.e.

40:41.394 --> 40:45.458
sarcastic woman to me.

40:45.758 --> 40:49.041
That's quite a useful phrase.

40:49.441 --> 40:53.004
Annoyingly, I've forgotten to put the person's name there.

40:53.185 --> 40:55.406
So, well, the husband of Shan.

40:56.047 --> 40:56.908
Thank you for sending that.

40:57.028 --> 40:58.009
Is that S-I-A-N?

40:58.149 --> 40:58.429
Yeah.

40:58.769 --> 40:59.530
I was saying it wrong.

40:59.570 --> 40:59.930
Shan.

41:00.531 --> 41:01.232
I say it's Shan.

41:02.822 --> 41:04.004
Yeah, I'm trying to make life interesting.

41:04.024 --> 41:05.046
French for dog, isn't it?

41:05.647 --> 41:08.251
We've got to deal with pronunciation later on in the show actually.

41:08.271 --> 41:09.874
No need to say it's the French for dog.

41:10.612 --> 41:12.673
Yeah, but Chien is the French for dog.

41:12.893 --> 41:13.434
Chien.

41:14.094 --> 41:15.034
Yeah, the French for dog.

41:15.615 --> 41:18.256
Here's one right now from Sam Hume.

41:18.496 --> 41:20.797
He's a male man, not a female woman.

41:21.238 --> 41:29.922
He says, Dear Buckstables and Cornucopia, the other day you were talking about song parodies people can't help but sing in everyday life, or versions of songs.

41:30.022 --> 41:34.545
Whenever it's cold, I simply have to sing to the tune of Elton John's Your Song.

41:35.325 --> 41:53.052
it's a little bit chilly this feeling inside i feel like my nutties have just shriveled up and died don't have much money but boy if i did i'd buy thermal undies where my nutties could live

41:53.792 --> 42:09.160
I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind How smart my nutties have got But when it gets very cold It tends to happen a lot That's a whole flippin' song he's written He's got it all in his head there Wow It's a little bit chilly

42:11.394 --> 42:12.595
That's a useful one as well.

42:12.635 --> 42:13.216
Very useful.

42:13.356 --> 42:13.956
Very detailed.

42:13.976 --> 42:15.457
When it's brass monkeys out there.

42:15.478 --> 42:18.440
Here's one from Mike Shinx, who has a wife called Fran.

42:19.621 --> 42:30.530
Mike says, hello boys, whenever my wife is bemoaning the fact that I don't quite live up to her expectations, I like to sing to the theme from the Gillette advert, Mike Shinx, the best that Fran could get.

42:31.989 --> 42:39.199
Even though she gives me a look of despair and pity, I know that deep inside, she thinks I'm very funny and that I am indeed well worth having.

42:39.820 --> 42:40.661
Mike Shinks!

42:41.061 --> 42:42.924
The best that Fran can get!

42:42.944 --> 42:44.165
Doesn't even rhyme with Gillette!

42:47.089 --> 43:12.935
uh from ross of the canes he says dear a and j keeping it simple after receiving an incorrect delivery from my local curry house i immediately got on the phone to correct the issue my girlfriend felt like i should just accept the order and suddenly i found myself shouting you gotta fight for the right nice she groaned i thought it was genius it is ross

43:13.995 --> 43:16.176
Here's one last one from Neil who's a male man.

43:17.077 --> 43:23.500
My teenage sons Jake and Oliver came up with this as a way of dealing with their anger at being asked to do the job of recycling in the house.

43:23.960 --> 43:31.584
They were so annoyed at the amount of bottles following a recent celebration that they jointly expressed their disgust in the tune of Tiny Temper's Passout.

43:32.164 --> 43:37.547
We take the bins out, we take the food out, we take the plastic and the cardboard and the tins out.

43:38.168 --> 43:40.070
Do you know that one?

43:40.170 --> 43:40.932
No, I'm glad you...

43:52.247 --> 43:52.927
That's my favourite bit.

43:52.988 --> 43:54.629
Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop.

43:54.649 --> 43:56.310
That's Temper on his own without Dappy, is it?

43:56.530 --> 43:57.631
That's him doing it a cappella.

43:57.851 --> 43:58.531
Yeah.

43:58.551 --> 43:59.792
You know he's teamed up with Dappy now.

43:59.892 --> 44:00.853
I do, they've done a single.

44:00.873 --> 44:02.694
I haven't heard it, I've only seen the posters.

44:02.714 --> 44:03.875
Alright, here's one more from me.

44:03.915 --> 44:05.516
This is from Ed in London.

44:06.137 --> 44:12.601
I once saw my sister looking very interestedly at something in a shop window, not being able to see what was so interesting.

44:12.921 --> 44:15.843
I sang to the tune of Tom Jones' What's New Pussycat.

44:16.224 --> 44:17.364
What you looking at?

44:19.965 --> 44:33.869
I think I may it may have been a bit too loud as some people turned around and seem to interpret this as Aggressive behavior love you bye I mean it could be a good one for Friday night out just to jazz things up actually take the aggression out of some of those Saturday night situations.

44:34.149 --> 44:35.410
What you looking at?

44:36.670 --> 44:39.731
What are you looking at you big puns?

44:39.831 --> 44:43.192
Are you a man who wants to have a great big fight?

44:43.252 --> 44:47.594
Well you might if you don't stop looking What you looking at?

44:50.232 --> 44:50.833
That's good.

44:51.053 --> 44:51.213
Yeah?

44:51.333 --> 44:53.334
I think it would take the aggression out of lots of fights.

44:53.594 --> 44:54.915
Got the same birthday as Tom Jones.

44:55.075 --> 44:55.395
Do you?

44:55.495 --> 44:56.435
You're very similar men.

44:56.595 --> 44:58.116
Yeah, me, Tom Jones and Prance.

44:58.536 --> 44:58.936
Really?

44:59.076 --> 44:59.337
Sure.

44:59.897 --> 45:01.538
Very, very masculine men.

45:02.418 --> 45:03.078
Macho men.

45:03.118 --> 45:06.580
Three masculine macho musical geniuses, born on the same day.

45:06.600 --> 45:06.660
Yes.

45:07.200 --> 45:08.821
I've got the same birthday as Yuri Geller.

45:09.021 --> 45:09.821
Have you really?

45:09.901 --> 45:10.282
Yes.

45:10.742 --> 45:11.182
Wow.

45:11.362 --> 45:13.163
Which means... You're a couple of benders.

45:14.183 --> 45:15.264
Spoon benders, I mean.

45:15.284 --> 45:15.364
What?

45:18.065 --> 45:19.966
Here's some Arctic monkeys.

45:20.006 --> 45:21.306
This is Reckless Serenade.

45:22.506 --> 45:23.807
Go on then, say the thing I did wrong.

45:24.567 --> 45:25.807
You, hang on, I've lost it.

45:25.867 --> 45:30.729
You said it was Tiny Temper doing the duet with Dappy from Endubs.

45:30.789 --> 45:31.309
It's not!

45:31.929 --> 45:33.550
It's Tinchy Strider.

45:34.210 --> 45:37.231
Thank you Boris, a mailman from Chef

45:37.731 --> 45:38.392
Sheffield.

45:38.472 --> 45:41.855
Thank you very much Arctic Monkeys there with Reckless Serenade.

45:42.055 --> 45:47.179
Arctic Monkeys are one of the bands that Bob Dylan plays on his theme time radio hour.

45:47.800 --> 46:01.352
One of the more modern bands because generally Bobbles tends to focus on the albums that he loved as a youth or a younger man at least a lot of vintage R&B and blues and jazz and country and western.

46:01.812 --> 46:03.354
Have you ever listened to theme time radio hour?

46:04.293 --> 46:05.455
No, I'm ashamed to say.

46:05.816 --> 46:08.119
What's happening in the world of Bob Dylan?

46:08.139 --> 46:09.721
Why is he all over all the... Birthday.

46:09.982 --> 46:10.723
Oh, it's his birthday.

46:10.783 --> 46:11.884
70th birthday two weeks ago.

46:11.904 --> 46:16.431
And one of the magazines has done a series of covers with him at different ages.

46:17.633 --> 46:18.314
Have you seen those?

46:18.554 --> 46:18.654
No.

46:19.435 --> 46:22.156
They've done him when he was a youngster, a boy.

46:22.357 --> 46:24.478
Then they've done him when he was a middle-aged man.

46:24.498 --> 46:27.419
And they've done him now that he's a funky turtle.

46:29.120 --> 46:31.521
And I mean a funky turtle in the old sense of the word.

46:31.581 --> 46:32.842
Even though he probably smells lovely.

46:32.862 --> 46:35.063
He's got very good standards of personal hygiene, Bob Dylan.

46:35.263 --> 46:37.764
I don't see him as a man that sweats very much.

46:37.924 --> 46:40.065
Which issue would you like out of those three?

46:40.385 --> 46:41.226
The funky turtle.

46:41.266 --> 46:43.267
Do you think that's the biggest selling one?

46:43.647 --> 46:52.695
I would say, because he is a man that has been, in my eyes at least, completely reborn as a creative force thanks to this radio show that he does.

46:53.155 --> 46:58.180
Because for me, he followed the same trajectory as a lot of my favorite artists and a lot of great artists in general.

46:58.200 --> 47:03.944
You know, he's at his peak in the early 70s maybe, and then things start to go downhill.

47:04.665 --> 47:09.228
and then the 80s comes and it's devastating for him as it was for Bowie and they start... Just like Endubs.

47:09.269 --> 47:10.029
I'm thinking Endubs.

47:10.249 --> 47:10.610
Right.

47:10.950 --> 47:11.590
But keep talking.

47:11.630 --> 47:18.996
You know, things get overproduced and the voice starts to go and suddenly you get the kind of modern Bob Dylan voice.

47:19.076 --> 47:19.316
Yeah.

47:19.576 --> 47:25.521
Then Talisa goes on X Factor and bands start splitting, drifting apart, all that.

47:26.401 --> 47:30.825
And, you know, it's just not as good as your classic Blood On The Tracks Bob Dylan stuff.

47:30.865 --> 47:31.005
No.

47:31.745 --> 47:41.815
I mean, there's still lots of good stuff there, and I listened to a wonderful documentary that was on recently, I think it was on Radio 2, and they also played it here on 6music with Chris Christofferson narrating the story of Bob Dylan.

47:42.456 --> 47:43.096
Brilliant stuff.

47:43.337 --> 47:48.422
And Christofferson is saying, oh, he's still, you know, churning out the great tunes even in his dotage.

47:49.122 --> 47:52.263
Well, they weren't, you know, they're never as good as, like, the real Peaches.

47:52.543 --> 48:08.806
But then he does this radio show, right, that he started to do in 2006, and they're a series of one-hour shows, this is if you don't already know about them, that went out on satellite radio first, I think an American satellite station, and then the BBC bought them and they went out on Radio 2 and 6 Music.

48:09.126 --> 48:12.847
There's a hundred of them, and they're really good, but they're quite tightly scripted.

48:13.547 --> 48:27.434
So Bob doesn't really ramble but he does these very charming introductions to a lot of these songs and contextualizes them and of course they're all themed they're all around quite good inventive themes like one week it'll be shoes or whatever and sometimes it's locks and keys.

48:27.534 --> 48:28.654
I hear it's mostly shoes.

48:28.694 --> 48:32.076
Beginnings and endings or you know lettuce that kind of thing.

48:32.096 --> 48:34.897
Lettuce, shoes but sources of milk.

48:36.398 --> 48:40.141
Does a lot of sorcerer mitt and just a lot of shows just about getting across the garden.

48:40.221 --> 48:41.002
Comfy socks.

48:41.202 --> 48:43.543
I'm halfway across the garden.

48:43.583 --> 48:44.744
It's very disrespectful.

48:44.844 --> 48:48.507
I get closer to that leaf.

48:50.108 --> 48:51.789
Is that a good Bob Dylan impression at all?

48:52.210 --> 48:52.330
No.

48:53.170 --> 48:55.132
Sometimes he gets sidetracked by dandelions.

48:55.172 --> 48:56.414
That's why he's late for meetings.

48:56.534 --> 49:04.903
His radio persona is kind of like a sort of Dick Chandler-esque investigative journalist sometimes.

49:05.103 --> 49:12.551
You know sometimes the way that Chris Rock is sometimes quite staccato with his delivery.

49:13.031 --> 49:18.455
Where Bob Dylan sometimes does a little bit of the same kind of delivery as Chris Rock.

49:18.975 --> 49:28.341
Anyway he does all this and it's all tightly scripted but every now and again they do these weird things like sometimes they'll have phone-ins but it'll be clearly a bit of a scripted phone-in.

49:28.761 --> 49:31.983
Well you can't quite tell, you can't tell if there's someone really on the end of the line there.

49:32.003 --> 49:33.744
You can't take a risk with Dylan though can you?

49:33.804 --> 49:35.785
You can't just have a random person on the phone.

49:35.805 --> 49:36.385
I don't think so.

49:36.445 --> 49:37.186
You've got to be vetted.

49:37.446 --> 49:43.894
Yeah, but and so sometimes you have the strangest conversations popping up with Bobo on the on the line there.

49:44.775 --> 49:53.767
I thought I'd play a little bit of Bob Dylan and dedicate it to my my mummy who absolutely loves Bobo and loves this song that I'm going to play shortly in particular Lay Lady Lay.

49:55.007 --> 49:57.948
It's also one of Liam Gallagher's favourite Bob Dylan songs.

49:57.968 --> 50:01.689
He was in the papers the other day slagging off Dylan and saying, ah, he's a miserable c-word.

50:02.210 --> 50:06.331
But the only song that he would agree that was brilliant was Lay Lady Lay.

50:06.351 --> 50:07.251
So I'm going to play that shortly.

50:07.271 --> 50:12.753
But first, here's a very surprising phone call from one of the theme time radio hour shows.

50:12.793 --> 50:13.293
Check this out.

50:22.972 --> 50:23.753
That's not working.

50:24.233 --> 50:25.414
Line 2 is always good.

50:25.574 --> 50:28.155
Then maybe you shouldn't be living here!

50:28.175 --> 50:28.796
Rock and roll.

50:29.116 --> 50:30.397
I see line 4 is ringing.

50:30.837 --> 50:32.438
Oh, caller, you're on the air.

50:32.798 --> 50:34.359
What's your name and where you're calling from?

50:34.419 --> 50:40.403
Hello Chuck, Laura, Laura Blinded Dator Bob is the queen of lollipop.

50:40.603 --> 50:41.083
Oh great.

50:41.183 --> 50:43.024
I'm calling from the queen house.

50:43.245 --> 50:44.745
Huh, what's your question?

50:44.966 --> 50:51.730
Right Chuck, well, lollipop, well if you was in a band, what kind of band were you playing?

50:53.183 --> 50:54.503
Well, of course.

50:54.623 --> 50:58.644
Everybody says banana rama, don't they, Chuck-a-loli-couple?

50:59.004 --> 51:00.765
But I didn't think you were Bubbles.

51:01.005 --> 51:03.025
I thought you would be a little bit any different.

51:03.285 --> 51:05.586
By the way, was the uncle of Billy Pumpkins?

51:06.126 --> 51:08.466
Mmm, I don't think so, actually, Bubbles.

51:08.526 --> 51:11.687
I think you're thinking of Terry Turnips, Laura.

51:11.807 --> 51:13.267
Well, we're very sorry for the error.

51:13.667 --> 51:15.728
We'll correct it in all future broadcasts.

51:16.288 --> 51:17.308
Aw, thanks, Laura.

51:17.408 --> 51:19.729
Laura Chuck-a-loli-couple.

51:19.809 --> 51:20.649
Nice to be out, babe.

51:20.669 --> 51:21.309
We'll see you soon.

51:21.449 --> 51:21.829
Okay, bye.

51:23.041 --> 51:48.435
yeah I mean that's Bobo after his motorcycle accident that very much changed the timbre the sound of his voice there I would say but what a lovely song that's lay lady lay Adam and Joe here on BBC six music very nice to be with you this Saturday morning listeners here's a short message right now from AJ he puts AJ male and gay Landudno North Wales

51:48.995 --> 51:50.536
Very nice to hear from you AJ.

51:50.936 --> 51:55.137
He says hi Adam and Jaws, listening to your podcast and your upturned plug singing.

51:55.638 --> 51:59.279
We were talking about upturned plugs and for pop appropriation.

51:59.659 --> 52:03.200
Upturned plug, I've been standing on an upturned plug.

52:03.521 --> 52:10.463
He says it reminded me of when I was 13 I went into the hallway to see the hoover was out with the plug on the floor prongs pointing up.

52:10.623 --> 52:12.584
I remember thinking someone could stand on that.

52:13.044 --> 52:39.106
before I continued on my merry journey up the stairs later on came back down the stairs and being young and full of energy decided to do the age-old trick of jumping from the third step to the bottom I'd forgotten about the plug and I landed on it the plug lodged itself nicely into my foot after the x-ray it turned out I had chipped a bone I was on crutches for a few weeks 17 years on I still have small scars on my foot bad one

52:39.406 --> 52:58.826
bad one i would have kept the holes and that could have been a like a novelty fun thing to plug things into yeah you got a plug in the bottom of your foot imagine the ladies that would be attracted by such a thing ladies what's this voice ladies love appliances large meteor oh let's move on

53:00.795 --> 53:03.076
Do you mind if I flag my fridge into your foot?

53:03.456 --> 53:05.017
It's 11.30 here on BBC6 Music.

53:05.077 --> 53:05.817
Time for the news.

53:07.638 --> 53:09.499
Flipping heck, I remember when that came out.

53:09.979 --> 53:10.939
Still sounds so good.

53:11.039 --> 53:11.559
Sounds amazing.

53:11.599 --> 53:13.980
Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five and The Message.

53:14.841 --> 53:18.062
And I was aware of it in the early 80s, I guess, in the charts.

53:18.362 --> 53:19.863
I was aware of it in the 40s.

53:20.023 --> 53:20.503
Were you?

53:20.703 --> 53:23.444
Because I'm that far ahead of the ball.

53:23.564 --> 53:25.105
Way ahead when you're in your bomber.

53:25.165 --> 53:25.825
And the curve.

53:26.145 --> 53:26.505
Yeah.

53:26.905 --> 53:28.046
Do you like to push envelopes too?

53:28.366 --> 53:28.706
No.

53:29.086 --> 53:30.767
What have you got against envelopes?

53:30.787 --> 53:31.267
Hate them.

53:31.807 --> 53:32.887
Hate the envelopes.

53:33.547 --> 53:38.848
But when that came out, they used to play sometimes the 11 minute version or whatever it is.

53:39.609 --> 53:47.350
And I wrote down all the words on several sheets of paper as a young, you know, 10 year old or whatever I was.

53:47.950 --> 53:50.831
And then I learnt them and I got loads of the words wrong.

53:50.851 --> 53:52.891
You know, I just, they were all misheard and everything.

53:53.612 --> 53:54.792
Mid-range migraine.

53:55.553 --> 53:56.821
The cancer membrane, what was it?

53:56.881 --> 53:58.491
Broke my sacrophiliac, what's that?

53:59.451 --> 53:59.931
Don't know.

54:01.232 --> 54:02.953
Can't even, oh anyway.

54:03.194 --> 54:03.794
I learnt it all.

54:03.814 --> 54:04.334
It was good.

54:04.615 --> 54:05.015
Well done.

54:05.295 --> 54:05.735
Thanks very much.

54:05.755 --> 54:06.576
It's a good story though, isn't it?

54:06.736 --> 54:08.017
It's a very, very good story.

54:08.737 --> 54:09.418
Let's have another one.

54:09.478 --> 54:11.559
It's time for Text the Nation.

54:11.599 --> 54:21.186
This is the part of the programme where we tell you a thing, what happened, and give you a sort of a subject and you have to text us in your response to that subject.

54:21.426 --> 54:22.047
Isn't that right?

54:22.227 --> 54:23.528
That's pretty much, I would say, right.

54:23.548 --> 54:25.009
Have we got a jingle for this segment?

54:25.629 --> 54:26.830
Yeah, here's what it sounds like.

54:30.700 --> 54:31.040
Text!

54:31.140 --> 54:31.901
Text the nation!

54:31.961 --> 54:32.962
What if I don't want to?

54:33.182 --> 54:33.923
Text the nation!

54:34.003 --> 54:35.003
But I'm using email.

54:35.144 --> 54:35.904
Is that a problem?

54:35.924 --> 54:36.465
It doesn't matter.

54:36.505 --> 54:38.886
Text!

54:39.527 --> 54:47.213
And this week I wanted to talk about something that happened to me a week or so back at the hardware store.

54:47.853 --> 54:48.774
I love hardware.

54:48.794 --> 54:49.895
I don't know about you.

54:50.015 --> 54:57.661
But I was deciding, I had decided even, to make a blackboard for the children's play area.

54:57.681 --> 54:58.742
That's a very good idea.

54:59.122 --> 55:00.543
And I thought, I'm going to make a blackboard.

55:00.884 --> 55:02.625
So I, you know, I'm not going to buy a blackboard.

55:02.745 --> 55:03.906
I'm going to make it.

55:03.946 --> 55:05.288
You know, you can just get paint.

55:05.628 --> 55:07.309
I ordered some blackboard paint.

55:07.329 --> 55:09.071
Can you just paint that paint there on the wall there?

55:09.231 --> 55:11.453
Paint that hecking wall with the blackboard paint.

55:11.513 --> 55:12.794
Is that what you decided to do?

55:12.894 --> 55:14.456
No, because I didn't want to ruin the wall.

55:14.616 --> 55:14.836
Yes.

55:15.036 --> 55:17.479
I thought I wanted the option of moving the blackboard.

55:17.819 --> 55:18.740
A portable blackboard.

55:18.820 --> 55:19.600
Portable blackboard.

55:19.921 --> 55:26.867
So I went out to the hardware emporium and I bought a giant sheet of MDF.

55:26.947 --> 55:27.227
Yes.

55:27.407 --> 55:27.828
How big?

55:28.248 --> 55:28.549
Massive.

55:28.569 --> 55:29.309
As big as you can get.

55:29.750 --> 55:32.172
I got them to shave the edge off but it was huge.

55:32.212 --> 55:36.235
I mean it was just about big enough for me to be able to drag it along the floor.

55:36.255 --> 55:36.936
You dragged it along.

55:36.976 --> 55:38.297
You didn't have it on a little trolley.

55:38.638 --> 55:40.519
Nah, I couldn't find the trolley.

55:40.539 --> 55:41.020
Taller than you?

55:41.640 --> 55:42.841
Yeah, way taller than me.

55:43.281 --> 55:43.641
Really?

55:43.681 --> 55:51.084
I mean, if I laid it lengthways, I could get it just about under my arm, so I was clamping it under my arm instead of dragging it along.

55:51.384 --> 55:53.124
But I also had lots of other stuff with me.

55:53.144 --> 55:54.505
It was absolutely, absolutely huge.

55:55.085 --> 55:56.105
What an exciting trip.

55:56.266 --> 55:57.046
Yeah, it was amazing.

55:57.546 --> 56:05.209
But when I got out, I had to lean it up against the side of the door because I had to put the rest of my stuff in there.

56:05.229 --> 56:05.489
The car door.

56:05.769 --> 56:07.812
No no no, the exit of the shop.

56:08.032 --> 56:10.575
So I had to put the rest of my stuff into the car.

56:10.595 --> 56:12.818
I'm on my own incidentally, so there's no one to help.

56:13.258 --> 56:21.669
So I open the boot of the car, I'm putting my stuff in, and I lean the huge sheet of MDF up against next to the sliding doors of the shop.

56:22.029 --> 56:23.852
It was a very windy day though, right?

56:24.352 --> 56:37.296
So as I am walking back from the car to collect my sheet of MDF, the sliding doors of the shop open and a couple exits, a sort of middle-aged couple with their nice Sunday afternoon, you know, shopping in their trolley.

56:37.796 --> 56:49.239
A gust of wind catches this enormous heavy sheet of MDF and it starts to topple right towards this woman as she's leaving the shop and she can't see it and I can see it happening in slow motion.

56:49.699 --> 56:53.080
So I instinctively just run towards it and go, oh no, watch out!

56:53.888 --> 56:54.288
Too late.

56:54.549 --> 56:56.590
It catches the back of her head.

56:56.871 --> 56:57.131
What?

56:57.271 --> 57:00.654
And smacks her shoulder, like scrapes down her shoulder.

57:00.674 --> 57:00.714
No.

57:01.254 --> 57:03.836
Luckily enough, it didn't catch her square on the head.

57:03.976 --> 57:05.678
Otherwise, she would have been badly hurt.

57:05.818 --> 57:06.178
Brained.

57:06.459 --> 57:09.161
As it was, I'm sure it was quite painful for her.

57:09.741 --> 57:11.202
And it was just horrific.

57:11.283 --> 57:14.846
I thought, oh my god, that was my fault.

57:14.966 --> 57:16.467
That was Dr. Buckles' fault.

57:16.787 --> 57:19.730
So as soon as I saw that she wasn't badly hurt,

57:20.330 --> 57:29.580
My next thought was, maybe I'm going to run away now and pretend that it's not my sheet of ridiculously stupidly left MDF there.

57:30.060 --> 57:30.501
You know what I mean?

57:30.961 --> 57:33.644
It wouldn't have been so stupid to leave it there if it hadn't been a windy day.

57:33.724 --> 57:37.048
But boy, it was daft of me to prop it up there.

57:37.068 --> 57:37.388
I don't know.

57:38.229 --> 57:39.650
Was she on the floor at this point?

57:39.670 --> 57:39.710
No.

57:39.730 --> 57:40.930
Did she topple to the floor?

57:40.950 --> 57:41.690
She didn't topple, no.

57:41.930 --> 57:42.751
Did she scream?

57:43.131 --> 57:46.052
Yeah, exactly, exactly.

57:46.092 --> 57:46.472
Like that?

57:46.812 --> 57:49.193
Was she, was her husband or partner with her?

57:49.353 --> 57:50.813
Husband was there, was like, oh my goodness.

57:50.833 --> 57:51.633
Oh my God, darling.

57:51.754 --> 57:51.934
Yeah.

57:52.134 --> 57:52.714
Oh my God.

57:54.761 --> 57:57.163
And I went up and I said, are you okay?

57:57.203 --> 57:57.824
Are you okay?

57:57.844 --> 57:58.945
And she said, yeah, yeah.

57:59.525 --> 58:01.387
And you know, was she bleeding?

58:01.407 --> 58:02.028
She wasn't bleeding.

58:02.128 --> 58:02.708
Thank goodness.

58:02.808 --> 58:03.569
She was okay.

58:03.749 --> 58:07.253
But it must've really quite hurt and a massive shock.

58:07.293 --> 58:07.533
Yeah.

58:08.193 --> 58:11.577
And you know, they were well within their rights to be pretty furious.

58:11.637 --> 58:12.137
Call the police.

58:12.157 --> 58:13.438
Who the hell has left that there?

58:13.498 --> 58:18.183
What complete moron has left that massive, dangerous piece of MDF there.

58:18.603 --> 58:20.525
So at this point I'm thinking, okay,

58:20.785 --> 58:26.248
Now things are going well for Buckles in one way because I look like a conscientious, caring member of the public who's saying, are you okay?

58:26.268 --> 58:26.969
Are you okay?

58:27.289 --> 58:29.870
But they don't know you were responsible for it in the first place.

58:29.890 --> 58:30.190
Exactly.

58:30.210 --> 58:32.452
They don't know that I'm the idiot hole that left it there.

58:32.912 --> 58:41.457
So I'm thinking, oh man, am I going to, shall I just wait for them to walk away before collecting my MDF and putting it in the car or what?

58:42.237 --> 58:46.160
Um, in the end I thought, no, I've just got to, I've got to man up.

58:46.940 --> 58:52.903
So I get the MDF and I walk back to the car and I'm only a couple of spaces away from where this couple are parked.

58:53.324 --> 58:56.685
And luckily they were, you know, a nice couple and didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

58:57.026 --> 59:00.568
They could easily have got very angry and made a huge fuss.

59:01.268 --> 59:04.930
But I was lucky and I thought, well, I better apologize.

59:05.130 --> 59:07.992
And, you know, obviously as I'm the guy with the MDF.

59:08.732 --> 59:10.533
And they could see me loading it into my car.

59:10.713 --> 59:12.754
I said, I went up and I said, listen, are you okay?

59:12.774 --> 59:13.815
And she said, yes, I'm fine.

59:13.915 --> 59:15.015
I said, I'm so sorry.

59:15.256 --> 59:15.996
That was my fault.

59:16.016 --> 59:17.537
It was stupid to leave that there.

59:18.537 --> 59:21.219
Um, and uh, I'm, I'm really happy that you're all right.

59:21.499 --> 59:29.583
But as I was saying it, I immediately started thinking, maybe I shouldn't even admit to this because if she then gets like back pains or something, she could sue me.

59:29.663 --> 59:30.184
Absolutely.

59:30.204 --> 59:30.384
You know?

59:31.304 --> 59:35.908
You know, when you're in a traffic accident, however... Sure, if you're injured in a trip or a fall at work.

59:36.168 --> 59:36.408
Right.

59:36.468 --> 59:39.271
But one of the things you're not supposed to do is admit liability.

59:39.811 --> 59:46.557
You know, you could say... It's a horrible thing to say to people, but it's a good bit of advice from a legal point of view.

59:46.897 --> 59:48.777
You're not supposed to admit that it's your fault.

59:49.318 --> 59:51.158
You know, you can check that they're okay.

59:51.478 --> 59:51.978
But you did.

59:52.038 --> 59:53.299
You're an honest bucculese.

59:53.519 --> 59:55.219
Well, I find it very hard to do that, yeah.

59:55.239 --> 59:56.860
So I said, listen, I'm really, really sorry.

59:57.280 --> 01:00:01.181
And luckily she was happy with the apology and she said, oh, well, it was windy.

01:00:01.221 --> 01:00:02.041
It's not your fault.

01:00:02.321 --> 01:00:04.962
So what are we looking for from people?

01:00:05.162 --> 01:00:09.823
Talking about times when you've got a large sheet of MDF and it hurts someone.

01:00:10.703 --> 01:00:14.044
This is the most specific textination we've ever done.

01:00:14.344 --> 01:00:15.845
No, I'm talking about apologies.

01:00:15.925 --> 01:00:19.887
Times when it's been hard to apologize, but you have done so.

01:00:20.527 --> 01:00:22.848
And maybe techniques for apologizing.

01:00:23.428 --> 01:00:27.690
Maybe times that you didn't apologize and you should have done and you wish you had done.

01:00:28.190 --> 01:00:29.811
We're talking apology stories, right?

01:00:29.991 --> 01:00:33.312
If it was theme time, radio hour, we're talking all kinds of apologies.

01:00:34.213 --> 01:00:36.515
64046 is the text number.

01:00:36.615 --> 01:00:42.882
The email is adamandjoe.6musicatbbc.co.uk for your responses to this week's Text the Nation.

01:00:43.703 --> 01:00:47.407
Right now here's Sufjan Stevens with I Walked.

01:00:49.930 --> 01:01:04.537
very nice sir that's the kings of leon there with molly's chambers adam and joe here on bbc6 music how you doing listeners you all right now last week i very confidently we were talking about was it on the podcast we were talking about this or on the actual show

01:01:05.197 --> 01:01:06.519
I don't know what we were talking about.

01:01:06.579 --> 01:01:15.368
We were talking about the bearded star of films like The Hangover and The Hangover 2, Zach Galifianakis.

01:01:15.488 --> 01:01:15.948
Right.

01:01:16.189 --> 01:01:20.553
And I extremely confidently said, no, no, it's pronounced Galifianakis.

01:01:21.975 --> 01:01:26.760
And there was a few messages from people saying... Saying that you were Rongo Snodgrass.

01:01:26.800 --> 01:01:27.400
Rongoloid.

01:01:28.261 --> 01:01:30.163
It's pronounced Zach Galifianakis.

01:01:30.283 --> 01:01:35.469
And I found a guy on YouTube who calls himself Pronunciation Book.

01:01:36.089 --> 01:01:43.637
And he's American, but he goes through various... Despite the fact that he's American and has absolutely no right to be tampering with the language.

01:01:43.997 --> 01:01:49.939
goes through and defines for people the correct pronunciation of some commonly mispronounced words.

01:01:50.379 --> 01:01:54.681
Here he is pronouncing Zach Galifianakis for you.

01:02:04.204 --> 01:02:04.885
I'll never forget.

01:02:05.145 --> 01:02:10.170
The thing is that it's spelt Galicia Narcis and I think it's because I learned how to spell it.

01:02:10.771 --> 01:02:13.254
I just felt so pleased and confident with myself.

01:02:13.274 --> 01:02:14.755
You're too clever for your own good.

01:02:14.775 --> 01:02:15.556
That's the thing.

01:02:15.596 --> 01:02:16.457
Too analytical.

01:02:16.617 --> 01:02:17.638
Too much brain power.

01:02:18.199 --> 01:02:20.121
Too much respect for letters.

01:02:20.501 --> 01:02:25.503
Well, I thought that I would go through a few bits of other pronunciation with you.

01:02:25.523 --> 01:02:27.604
You know, Cher.

01:02:29.565 --> 01:02:32.707
Here's a short list of words for you.

01:02:33.347 --> 01:02:34.208
Oh, is this a test?

01:02:34.308 --> 01:02:34.768
To deal with.

01:02:34.788 --> 01:02:37.869
This is a little test for Cornballs with his pronunciation test.

01:02:37.889 --> 01:02:42.692
So the first word is another name of a famous film star that Joe has to pronounce.

01:02:42.752 --> 01:02:44.452
It's the star of Donnie Darko.

01:02:44.833 --> 01:02:46.013
How would you pronounce that, Joe?

01:02:46.293 --> 01:02:49.135
I would pronounce his name Jake

01:02:50.215 --> 01:02:54.220
Gillan Hall Okay, and let's find the pronunciation.

01:02:54.240 --> 01:02:57.103
Oh, you know, but I'm vacillating because it might be Gillan Hall.

01:02:57.263 --> 01:02:58.725
Ah, well you've got to settle on one.

01:02:59.045 --> 01:03:00.747
I'd go for the most conservative option.

01:03:00.928 --> 01:03:01.809
Gillan Hall.

01:03:01.829 --> 01:03:04.432
I would pronounce it Jake Geilen Hrel.

01:03:04.892 --> 01:03:07.894
Well, now that I'm seeing it written down, the Jake is very straightforward.

01:03:08.454 --> 01:03:11.515
G-Y-L-L-E-N-H-A-A-L.

01:03:11.856 --> 01:03:14.957
So, Jill Henhal.

01:03:15.357 --> 01:03:19.640
This is how I pronounce it, because the J I think is pronounced...

01:03:22.950 --> 01:03:27.311
The J's pronounce purr like a P. It's a silent P. P-p-p-p-pook.

01:03:28.072 --> 01:03:28.752
P-p-p-p-pook.

01:03:29.232 --> 01:03:30.732
P-p-p-p-p-pook.

01:03:30.792 --> 01:03:32.353
P-p-p-p-pook.

01:03:32.493 --> 01:03:36.074
Here's the actual pronunciation according to Pronunciation Book on YouTube.

01:03:36.494 --> 01:03:37.475
Jake Gyllenhaal.

01:03:37.895 --> 01:03:38.055
Yes.

01:03:38.075 --> 01:03:38.335
Jake.

01:03:39.075 --> 01:03:39.735
Gyllenhaal.

01:03:39.895 --> 01:03:40.936
So I was nearly there.

01:03:41.156 --> 01:03:41.516
Nearly there.

01:03:41.536 --> 01:03:41.876
Gyllenhaal.

01:03:41.916 --> 01:03:42.456
Gyllenhaal.

01:03:42.576 --> 01:03:43.436
Here's a tough one.

01:03:43.716 --> 01:03:45.437
I only found out recently how to pronounce.

01:03:45.997 --> 01:03:47.278
A famous German writer.

01:03:47.318 --> 01:03:47.738
I know this.

01:03:47.998 --> 01:03:49.398
G-O-E-T-H-E.

01:03:49.598 --> 01:03:50.038
Goethe.

01:03:50.439 --> 01:03:51.839
Right, let's have the real pronunciation.

01:03:52.499 --> 01:03:52.920
Goethe.

01:03:53.060 --> 01:03:53.280
Yeah.

01:03:53.400 --> 01:03:54.001
Goethe.

01:03:54.021 --> 01:03:55.462
Yes, because I've read a lot of Goethe.

01:03:55.482 --> 01:03:56.162
Because you love Goethe.

01:03:56.222 --> 01:03:57.403
I love Goethe.

01:03:57.483 --> 01:03:59.405
I might read a little bit of Goethe right now.

01:04:00.406 --> 01:04:01.487
Thanks, I'm ready to continue.

01:04:01.607 --> 01:04:02.668
My favourite is Goethe.

01:04:03.348 --> 01:04:04.449
I think he's a better writer.

01:04:05.170 --> 01:04:05.710
Goethe.

01:04:05.830 --> 01:04:06.250
Goethe.

01:04:06.871 --> 01:04:07.551
How about this?

01:04:07.672 --> 01:04:14.277
A word that means the political, economic, ideological or cultural power exerted by a dominant group over other groups.

01:04:15.282 --> 01:04:15.662
Yeah.

01:04:15.722 --> 01:04:18.264
Spelled H-E-G-E-M-O-N-Y.

01:04:18.824 --> 01:04:19.265
Hegemony.

01:04:19.585 --> 01:04:20.446
You're going for hegemony.

01:04:20.766 --> 01:04:21.026
Is that?

01:04:21.366 --> 01:04:22.007
No, hegemony.

01:04:22.227 --> 01:04:24.008
Well, actually, I think... Hegemony.

01:04:24.028 --> 01:04:25.189
Both are right.

01:04:25.469 --> 01:04:26.750
It's a question of where you're from.

01:04:26.790 --> 01:04:27.910
It's a transatlantic thing.

01:04:27.971 --> 01:04:30.532
So pronunciation book goes for... Hegemony.

01:04:30.933 --> 01:04:31.893
Hegemony.

01:04:32.133 --> 01:04:32.934
Hegemony.

01:04:33.274 --> 01:04:33.774
Hegemony.

01:04:33.834 --> 01:04:34.355
No, no, no, no.

01:04:34.455 --> 01:04:37.177
And he puts the accent on the second syllable there.

01:04:37.197 --> 01:04:39.498
He's doing it like Hermione from Harry Potter.

01:04:39.618 --> 01:04:39.878
Right.

01:04:39.898 --> 01:04:41.460
And that's another commonly mispronounced one.

01:04:41.480 --> 01:04:44.922
A lot of people going for her-me-own and things like that.

01:04:45.342 --> 01:04:50.325
But, yeah, I think hegemony is acceptable if you're from the UK and the Americans say hegemony.

01:04:50.646 --> 01:04:51.146
How about this?

01:04:51.326 --> 01:04:53.888
A word for an initial or early stage.

01:04:54.208 --> 01:04:56.590
I-N-C-O-H-A-T-E.

01:04:57.330 --> 01:05:04.595
Well, this is a good one, because I'm not sure I've ever said this out loud, but I've read it a lot, and in my head it's, it's, well, I pronounce it phonetically.

01:05:06.216 --> 01:05:06.796
In-co-hate.

01:05:07.057 --> 01:05:07.777
In-co-hate.

01:05:08.758 --> 01:05:09.738
I've got this wrong, haven't I?

01:05:09.999 --> 01:05:12.660
I don't know, I've always said in-co-hate when I've said it out loud.

01:05:13.221 --> 01:05:14.842
Let's see what Pronunciation Book says.

01:05:15.487 --> 01:05:16.047
Inchoate.

01:05:16.808 --> 01:05:17.508
Inchoate.

01:05:17.788 --> 01:05:18.529
No H in there.

01:05:19.009 --> 01:05:20.090
Ah, but I like hate.

01:05:20.710 --> 01:05:21.110
Exactly.

01:05:21.130 --> 01:05:23.532
It's nice to have a word with hate in it that doesn't mean hate.

01:05:24.112 --> 01:05:24.632
Inchoate.

01:05:24.652 --> 01:05:25.072
Inchoate.

01:05:25.773 --> 01:05:29.175
And finally, a famous German watch manufacturer, T-A-G-H-E-U-E-R.

01:05:33.437 --> 01:05:36.079
Mmm, these watches were very trendy when we were teenagers.

01:05:36.519 --> 01:05:37.999
I had a big horrible yellow one.

01:05:38.260 --> 01:05:38.600
Did you?

01:05:38.800 --> 01:05:40.301
An enormous horrible yellow one.

01:05:40.321 --> 01:05:41.341
Yeah, what about your watch?

01:05:43.082 --> 01:05:46.644
I used to pronounce it Taj Herr.

01:05:47.844 --> 01:05:48.685
Like the Taj Mahal.

01:05:49.105 --> 01:05:50.045
Tag Heuer.

01:05:50.386 --> 01:05:52.446
No, Tag Heuer is what I used to say.

01:05:52.486 --> 01:05:53.007
Tag Heuer.

01:05:53.147 --> 01:05:53.807
What's wrong with that?

01:05:53.987 --> 01:05:55.268
That's what I'd go for.

01:05:55.588 --> 01:05:56.428
Let's see what the real one is.

01:05:56.908 --> 01:05:57.609
Tag Heuer.

01:05:57.989 --> 01:06:00.570
Tag Heuer.

01:06:01.110 --> 01:06:01.630
Tag Heuer.

01:06:02.230 --> 01:06:05.612
But you've got to have that haughty New England accent to get it.

01:06:06.012 --> 01:06:06.812
Tag Heuer.

01:06:07.172 --> 01:06:09.073
Yeah, but Heuer is the key thing.

01:06:09.373 --> 01:06:14.936
I think the Tag or the Tog is, you know, maybe that changes whether you're transatlantic or not.

01:06:14.956 --> 01:06:15.536
Changes everything.

01:06:15.876 --> 01:06:16.557
But Hoya?

01:06:16.937 --> 01:06:17.798
That's what you're going for.

01:06:17.858 --> 01:06:18.599
Targ Hoya.

01:06:19.080 --> 01:06:20.801
I would never have gone for that like Tom Sawyer.

01:06:21.342 --> 01:06:23.104
It's not an important one though, is it, that one?

01:06:23.444 --> 01:06:23.825
Isn't it?

01:06:25.266 --> 01:06:29.731
I'm more, uh, I'm more keen on Jake... Gillan... Gillan Hoyle.

01:06:30.011 --> 01:06:31.253
A pack of Gillan Hoyle.

01:06:32.642 --> 01:06:33.442
Isn't that how you pronounce it?

01:06:33.462 --> 01:06:34.363
Jake Gyllenhaal.

01:06:34.843 --> 01:06:36.623
Jake Gyllenhaal.

01:06:36.783 --> 01:06:44.786
With a silent P. If you want to challenge Adam and my pronunciation skills, then you can just send us words that we'll attempt to read out.

01:06:45.306 --> 01:06:47.147
Adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk.

01:06:47.247 --> 01:06:48.487
And we'll manglerise them.

01:06:48.587 --> 01:06:49.928
One of the hardest ones, I wonder.

01:06:50.922 --> 01:06:58.627
Well, you see, this was inspired partly by my mispronunciation of Galifianakis, but also Maddy Cutler's message.

01:06:58.867 --> 01:07:02.550
She says, hi corn meister and buck stongle, brackets, have I gone too far?

01:07:03.030 --> 01:07:03.170
No.

01:07:03.850 --> 01:07:11.315
On the subject of egg corns and mispronunciation, I have a habit of mispronouncing names of fictional characters.

01:07:11.375 --> 01:07:12.436
Please see examples below.

01:07:12.696 --> 01:07:16.879
One, Hermione from Harry Potter, has been pronounced in my head, Hermeone.

01:07:17.499 --> 01:07:18.260
for 14 years.

01:07:18.280 --> 01:07:18.260
2.

01:07:19.121 --> 01:07:23.566
Penelope Pussycat from Looney Tunes, always pronounced as Penelope.

01:07:24.186 --> 01:07:25.327
Penelope, that's good.

01:07:25.367 --> 01:07:28.471
Yeah, this is hard to spell phonetically, so you just pronounce it the same as envelope.

01:07:28.831 --> 01:07:29.692
Do you think I have issues?

01:07:29.932 --> 01:07:30.573
Bye Zs!

01:07:30.693 --> 01:07:31.774
Maddy cutler kiss kiss kiss.

01:07:32.074 --> 01:07:33.916
No Maddy, you're pretty normal I would say.

01:07:33.976 --> 01:07:38.441
So yeah, we'd love to hear from anyone else who's got similar sort of problems.

01:07:38.521 --> 01:07:40.483
Here's DJ Format, this is Separated at Birth.

01:07:41.659 --> 01:07:44.462
Yeah, that's DJ Format with Separated at Birth.

01:07:44.882 --> 01:07:47.285
You're listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.

01:07:47.585 --> 01:07:48.986
Thanks very much for doing so.

01:07:49.307 --> 01:07:52.170
I think it's time we, um, had some travelling tales, don't you?

01:08:02.901 --> 01:08:05.203
Very aggressive, very aggressive jingle.

01:08:06.104 --> 01:08:07.585
It's a shocking jingle.

01:08:07.605 --> 01:08:08.285
It is, yeah.

01:08:08.305 --> 01:08:09.346
It's the way it comes in.

01:08:09.366 --> 01:08:16.292
I mean, there's a sort of static pop, a glitch, and a... It's quite hardcore.

01:08:16.792 --> 01:08:17.393
It is hardcore.

01:08:17.413 --> 01:08:17.993
Well, I can tone it down.

01:08:18.013 --> 01:08:21.456
I just feel for people listening, maybe they're, you know, having a little stroll.

01:08:21.476 --> 01:08:27.641
Well, where are all the people interpreting, you know, jingles for a certain jingle?

01:08:30.043 --> 01:08:31.645
Why don't they do like a mellow version?

01:08:31.665 --> 01:08:33.027
Why don't they do a mellow version of that one?

01:08:33.047 --> 01:08:33.787
You're quite right.

01:08:33.807 --> 01:08:37.592
If you don't like the Traveler's Tales jingle, it's not a question of not liking it.

01:08:37.632 --> 01:08:38.833
I mean, of course it's amazing.

01:08:38.853 --> 01:08:41.316
But if it's, it's just if it's unpalatable to you.

01:08:41.676 --> 01:08:43.198
Here's a message from Dominic.

01:08:43.258 --> 01:08:50.607
He says, Adam, because we were talking about on the podcast last week, we were talking about my jingles being considered too long by some people.

01:08:51.027 --> 01:08:53.128
He says, Adam, I don't think your jingles are too long at all.

01:08:53.168 --> 01:08:56.770
In fact, I think the travel entails jingle is two syllables too short.

01:08:57.230 --> 01:09:02.632
When it comes on, I feel I need to add the word entail to the end of the final sentence.

01:09:02.973 --> 01:09:05.354
I'd appreciate it if you could adjust the jingle accordingly.

01:09:05.634 --> 01:09:07.995
You don't need to change the way the words scan or anything.

01:09:08.035 --> 01:09:09.576
Just say entail after you've sung.

01:09:09.936 --> 01:09:12.877
I want to know what your travel entails, he says.

01:09:13.317 --> 01:09:14.098
Well, actually,

01:09:14.858 --> 01:09:29.601
You've got the, you know, you have made a mistake there because the last sentence of the Travelling Tales jingle is a brilliant little bit of wordplay because it actually says, I want to know what your travel entails.

01:09:30.382 --> 01:09:32.062
Your travel entails.

01:09:33.182 --> 01:09:34.082
Oh, yeah.

01:09:34.482 --> 01:09:35.783
What your travel entails.

01:09:35.863 --> 01:09:38.443
I would like to know what your travel entails.

01:09:38.503 --> 01:09:39.964
Yeah, you schooled that listener.

01:09:40.264 --> 01:09:41.244
In your faith, Dominic!

01:09:41.957 --> 01:09:46.659
He says, um, maybe I misheard the line itself, in which case I feel like a Wally.

01:09:46.859 --> 01:09:47.319
All right, Wally.

01:09:48.740 --> 01:09:49.420
How you doing Wally?

01:09:50.600 --> 01:09:55.582
Here's a traveling tale from Rory in Warwick that I'm going to pronounced Warwick.

01:09:56.523 --> 01:09:59.544
Hello, Dr. Buckfast Tonic and Mr. Cornish Pisky.

01:10:00.942 --> 01:10:01.803
Saturday afternoon.

01:10:02.043 --> 01:10:02.444
Busy train.

01:10:02.464 --> 01:10:03.805
I like this one because he's written it.

01:10:03.845 --> 01:10:05.386
Rory's written it in a very pithy manner.

01:10:05.426 --> 01:10:06.928
Lots of full stop short sentences.

01:10:07.969 --> 01:10:08.690
Saturday afternoon.

01:10:08.930 --> 01:10:09.510
Busy train.

01:10:09.751 --> 01:10:10.291
Table seat.

01:10:10.531 --> 01:10:11.292
Couple facing me.

01:10:11.492 --> 01:10:12.233
Genders irrelevant.

01:10:13.654 --> 01:10:15.076
Uninhibitedly frisky.

01:10:16.497 --> 01:10:19.759
Snogs, canoodles, hands up t-shirts, wriggles and murmurs.

01:10:20.040 --> 01:10:20.660
Too much.

01:10:20.780 --> 01:10:21.340
Sexy time.

01:10:21.661 --> 01:10:28.786
I decide to exercise the power of my will and engage all-purpose upper body twitchy spasms at intervals of approximately 30 seconds.

01:10:29.046 --> 01:10:29.226
What?

01:10:29.786 --> 01:10:34.109
He starts to do weird twitching to try and freak them out and put them off.

01:10:34.329 --> 01:10:34.570
Yeah.

01:10:34.770 --> 01:10:36.851
Just upper body spasms like that.

01:10:37.071 --> 01:10:37.532
I did one.

01:10:37.732 --> 01:10:39.153
My headphones nearly fell off.

01:10:39.193 --> 01:10:39.913
Chug with your keys.

01:10:40.654 --> 01:10:41.094
Reaction?

01:10:41.334 --> 01:10:43.556
The snoggers disengage on spasm number two.

01:10:45.191 --> 01:10:49.114
And for the remainder of the journey, devote their attention to inoffensive fashion mags.

01:10:49.214 --> 01:10:49.594
Result!

01:10:50.055 --> 01:10:52.497
But Elation swiftly replaced with a sense of guilty unease.

01:10:53.177 --> 01:10:54.538
Rory in Warwick.

01:10:55.119 --> 01:10:59.622
I mean, that's going quite far to start, you know, faking a... But that's good, it's a very good technique.

01:10:59.682 --> 01:11:11.091
Sometimes, some people say that if you get in a difficult situation in the street, you know, if you're in a situation that looks like it might get ugly with some people who are trying to rob you or something, the best thing to do is to act crazy.

01:11:11.931 --> 01:11:13.593
We've discussed this before probably, you know,

01:11:16.365 --> 01:11:18.106
Like Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop.

01:11:18.126 --> 01:11:18.707
Does he do that?

01:11:18.847 --> 01:11:19.307
I don't know.

01:11:19.668 --> 01:11:20.929
And then they won't come anywhere near you.

01:11:20.969 --> 01:11:22.930
It's a similar kind of thing, but this is better, I think.

01:11:23.110 --> 01:11:24.331
The spasming is more subtle.

01:11:24.391 --> 01:11:26.393
And I'm thinking Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon.

01:11:26.433 --> 01:11:27.154
He does that, doesn't he?

01:11:27.314 --> 01:11:29.435
He does that all through all nine films.

01:11:30.036 --> 01:11:31.097
Outcrazies people.

01:11:31.677 --> 01:11:47.833
Here is one from Richard Doyle dear Adam and Joe although I normally travel normal class sometimes if I know that I'll be traveling a few weeks in advance I treat myself to a first-class ticket as they're quite often only five pounds more which I make back by drinking several cups of coffee steaming a newspaper and eating lots of biscuits haha in your face man

01:11:48.553 --> 01:11:56.676
On one occasion, I was sitting in my reclining leather seat with my laptop, and I thought I'd pop some music on as I'd listen to all of your podcasts.

01:11:56.896 --> 01:11:57.496
It can happen.

01:11:58.057 --> 01:12:03.339
As I'm not a yob, I got out my headphones so as not to disturb my fellow well-to-do-looking passengers.

01:12:03.659 --> 01:12:05.819
I plugged my headphones in and decided what to listen to.

01:12:06.180 --> 01:12:16.143
Feeling mildly rebellious in my first-class surroundings, I thought I'd kick off with a little Ramstein followed by Ice-T's Wrong Noodle to Flip With.

01:12:16.163 --> 01:12:17.584
That's not what it's actually called.

01:12:18.824 --> 01:12:22.826
I hit play, closed my eyes, and reclined in my enormous leather seat.

01:12:23.246 --> 01:12:27.207
My music seemed a bit quiet, so I turned the volume up a bit, but it still sounded a bit wrong.

01:12:27.868 --> 01:12:31.009
But my headphones weren't of the best quality, so I put it down to that.

01:12:31.169 --> 01:12:36.731
About halfway through Wrong Noodle to flip with, I realized that the sound wasn't actually coming out of the headphones at all.

01:12:36.911 --> 01:12:42.313
It was to my horror coming out of the laptop speakers and entertaining my fellow passengers.

01:12:42.713 --> 01:12:44.774
I hadn't pushed the headphone jack in hard enough.

01:12:45.134 --> 01:12:46.455
So quickly I jammed it in!

01:12:46.755 --> 01:12:55.858
My fellow passengers had been nice enough to ignore the yob at the centre of the carriage, blasting out some quite offensive tunes, and I spent the rest of the journey red-faced and trying not to make eye contact.

01:12:56.138 --> 01:13:06.222
As we got close to my destination, the now-quite-full train terminated, and I hurriedly packed my stuff up and dashed to the door so I didn't have to face anyone.

01:13:06.602 --> 01:13:08.403
Now I always double-check my headphones.

01:13:08.923 --> 01:13:24.108
from Richard Doyle that's bad isn't it very bad tricky situation a chap sat opposite me on the tube uh this week with headphones that literally might as well have just been speakers yeah and his music was so loud and he had a look on his face uh as if no one could hear this music

01:13:24.588 --> 01:13:49.307
and that he was in his cool world you know listening to his secret music but no we could all hear it perfectly easily and he looked like a great big idiot hole do you ever do you ever let people know when that no he became aware because everyone was looking at him and he turned it down and looked sheepish then then a few minutes later someone else came on the tube and this is completely tangential he was a huge man a very big guy probably in the military or something big seven foot or something

01:13:49.707 --> 01:13:53.092
But he had a backpack on, and it meant he couldn't sit back in his seat.

01:13:53.613 --> 01:13:57.518
So it pushed him so far forward in his seat that he was about a foot away from my face.

01:13:58.640 --> 01:14:01.444
And he stayed on there for five or six stops.

01:14:01.604 --> 01:14:02.806
Was he smiling at you?

01:14:03.166 --> 01:14:04.869
No, just trying not to look at me.

01:14:05.109 --> 01:14:10.892
Yeah, but he was right right in my face in your face brilliant traveling tales there now Do you remember a couple of weeks ago?

01:14:10.952 --> 01:14:21.558
We were or maybe last week even I had a special Platform announcement jingle or a jingle that could be used before any announcement in the travel system We'll just play it again to remind you

01:14:24.720 --> 01:14:31.808
Thought it might be a fun thing, you know, like in France they have the N-C-S-N-C-F jingle.

01:14:32.869 --> 01:14:45.102
Anyway, we got a message from anonymous, an anonymous man, and he says, dear Buckles and Scornballs, long time Podcat member, first time writer, I'm a mailman who wants to remain anonymous for reasons that will become clear.

01:14:45.262 --> 01:14:46.143
I'm a train driver,

01:14:46.483 --> 01:14:50.685
for a company that takes people in and out of London and I have to do my own announcements.

01:14:50.765 --> 01:14:59.088
I eagerly await travel entails to see if any of my work colleagues have been recorded doing robot voices or spouting general wiffles and waffles but no nothing is yet.

01:14:59.428 --> 01:15:07.291
I particularly enjoyed your non-sexy everward jingle and decided to rise to your challenge of getting train companies to adopt it for announcements.

01:15:07.391 --> 01:15:13.634
Whilst working on a train into London earlier this week I played the jingle at the start of my announcement and ended it with a feeble

01:15:13.914 --> 01:15:23.937
love you bye anyway hope you like it all the best and on from Birmingham not sorry from north of Birmingham but south of Manchester and here's what he recorded listen carefully listeners

01:15:43.649 --> 01:15:47.612
So there's a love you buy at the end, and he did start with the, uh, a word jingle there.

01:15:47.892 --> 01:15:54.618
There were a few bing bongs to disguise the actual destination of the train, so as not to make it too clear who the fellow is and get him fired or anything.

01:15:54.678 --> 01:15:56.199
But nice job.

01:15:56.719 --> 01:15:59.041
You get some kind of squadron prize for that.

01:15:59.061 --> 01:15:59.561
That's amazing.

01:15:59.581 --> 01:16:00.522
What a daring guy.

01:16:00.822 --> 01:16:03.024
I'd like to hear someone playing it on a plane.

01:16:03.304 --> 01:16:06.487
I mean, you'd really, really get in trouble then, wouldn't you?

01:16:07.127 --> 01:16:08.649
Bing bong of a word.

01:16:09.389 --> 01:16:10.470
Please fasten your seatbelts.

01:16:10.490 --> 01:16:12.032
You don't want that kind of thing on a plane.

01:16:12.052 --> 01:16:12.332
Do you not?

01:16:12.732 --> 01:16:12.933
No.

01:16:14.094 --> 01:16:16.376
It would undercut your confidence in the crew.

01:16:16.576 --> 01:16:17.557
It would a little bit, wouldn't it?

01:16:17.937 --> 01:16:23.583
Imagine if you thought that Dr. Puckules was flying the plane.

01:16:23.643 --> 01:16:24.163
We're in trouble.

01:16:24.604 --> 01:16:25.725
Here's the temptations.

01:16:25.745 --> 01:16:26.326
This is Cloud 9.

01:16:27.443 --> 01:16:29.406
Who is the lead vocalist of The Temptations?

01:16:30.547 --> 01:16:31.829
It's not Levi Stubbs, is it?

01:16:31.889 --> 01:16:35.133
He was with, uh... We'll never find it.

01:16:35.153 --> 01:16:35.874
We'll never find it.

01:16:35.914 --> 01:16:37.957
How do you find information like that out these days?

01:16:38.378 --> 01:16:41.262
You have to go into a library and look through all the books and stuff.

01:16:41.302 --> 01:16:41.602
How boring.

01:16:43.163 --> 01:16:43.924
He's on the computer.

01:16:44.244 --> 01:16:49.828
Hey, incidentally, thanks very much for some of the top tips that I got after complaining last week of... Paul Williams.

01:16:50.068 --> 01:16:50.808
Paul Williams?

01:16:51.248 --> 01:16:52.069
Was he singing that one?

01:16:52.269 --> 01:16:52.729
David Ruffin.

01:16:52.989 --> 01:16:53.510
Otis Williams.

01:16:54.250 --> 01:16:54.770
Eddie Kendricks.

01:16:55.311 --> 01:16:55.931
Melvin Franklin.

01:16:56.271 --> 01:16:58.753
Kendricks is the only one that I could possibly have known from there.

01:16:59.569 --> 01:17:11.983
I was complaining last week that it's very annoying when you, like I do a lot of time murder, going through documents, importing bits of text into documents and then having to go through and reformat them as I go along because I can't bear to see them all looking different.

01:17:12.604 --> 01:17:17.149
Top tip I got that's totally transformed my life from Paul Hamley, the Podcat.

01:17:17.870 --> 01:17:24.737
He says, listening to PodMax this week, here Adam has occasional trouble with text imported into Word having different formats all over.

01:17:24.898 --> 01:17:30.023
In my capacity as office IT geek, I couldn't help writing in with a tip that Adam may be interested to know.

01:17:30.444 --> 01:17:35.309
The command paste special and then choosing unformatted text

01:17:35.749 --> 01:17:40.952
option avoids this annoying problem by not applying any formatting to the source text when pasting.

01:17:41.452 --> 01:17:42.833
This is a fun tip isn't it?

01:17:42.873 --> 01:17:45.274
What an exciting stinky linky.

01:17:45.354 --> 01:17:46.214
Are you getting that though?

01:17:46.515 --> 01:17:48.095
Can you see it in your mind what you have to do?

01:17:49.096 --> 01:17:51.377
So you go copy the text right?

01:17:52.478 --> 01:17:53.418
Copy the text.

01:17:54.419 --> 01:18:04.524
Then when you go to paste the text you choose instead paste special and then you will see a dialog box far up giving you the option to choose unformatted text.

01:18:05.144 --> 01:18:14.536
Simply select unformatted text and you will find the text forming into your document sitting there nice and snugly in the same format as the rest of the document.

01:18:14.876 --> 01:18:15.457
Thank you very much.

01:18:16.318 --> 01:18:17.560
From Paul Hamley, Podcat.

01:18:17.780 --> 01:18:18.881
This is a good show though isn't it?

01:18:19.482 --> 01:18:23.187
I mean you've got fun things, music and then you've got top computer tips!

01:18:23.407 --> 01:18:25.868
I tell you what, there's only one thing that can lift this show again.

01:18:26.489 --> 01:18:28.329
And that is the sound of David Bowie.

01:18:28.349 --> 01:18:29.330
Here's a little free play.

01:18:29.590 --> 01:18:32.371
And you know, people love to play all the trendy Bowie stuff.

01:18:32.852 --> 01:18:34.513
But I'll go for the early Bowie any day.

01:18:34.813 --> 01:18:37.654
And I know this is a amusing song for some people, not for me.

01:18:37.834 --> 01:18:38.535
I think it's Wickels.

01:18:38.795 --> 01:18:39.695
This is the Laughing Gnome.

01:18:40.556 --> 01:18:42.797
What goes on in this town is none of your business.

01:18:46.519 --> 01:18:48.219
None of your business.

01:18:48.259 --> 01:18:49.140
None of your business.

01:18:49.836 --> 01:18:50.817
As long as I'm living here.

01:18:51.357 --> 01:18:52.477
As long as I'm living here.

01:18:53.018 --> 01:18:54.138
As long as I'm living here.

01:18:54.679 --> 01:18:55.799
As long as I'm living here.

01:18:56.379 --> 01:19:02.703
As long as I'm living here.

01:19:02.923 --> 01:19:08.466
As long as I'm living here.

01:19:09.526 --> 01:19:10.887
As long as I'm living here it is.

01:19:23.331 --> 01:19:23.654
you

01:19:45.723 --> 01:19:51.027
Wow, I don't know why all actors don't just give up that's Nathan Jackson who put that together.

01:19:51.107 --> 01:20:08.721
He's a male man He's 20 years old and he lives in France and that's what it does with his time dear ads and jizzle He says I'm a big fan of Bronholm really like the scene from Taff in so I thought I'd make a dance mix Hoping to release the extended mix in time for the Christmas number one, but I don't know if the sounds are annoying enough Hope you like it

01:20:09.161 --> 01:20:10.402
Well, it could go on for longer.

01:20:10.422 --> 01:20:11.423
That would become annoying.

01:20:11.503 --> 01:20:22.111
And then I thought there was an opportunity there to maybe auto-tune the... You could do all sorts of stuff with that, surely.

01:20:22.131 --> 01:20:22.712
That's right.

01:20:22.752 --> 01:20:27.296
I keep feeling I have to give props to the people that turn me on to this thing.

01:20:27.936 --> 01:20:30.478
Justin Edwards, Dave Armand and Rufus Jones.

01:20:30.518 --> 01:20:35.062
He's an actor who turned a lot of people onto it, including Jason Haisely.

01:20:35.182 --> 01:20:36.363
So thanks, guys.

01:20:36.403 --> 01:20:37.864
You've really transformed our world.

01:20:37.984 --> 01:20:40.665
Brilliant work by Nathan Jackson there creating that dance.

01:20:40.765 --> 01:20:41.365
Thank you, Nathan.

01:20:41.625 --> 01:20:44.046
We had another email as well.

01:20:45.026 --> 01:20:46.647
Well, let's do this one first.

01:20:47.967 --> 01:20:58.171
Kisi Sellout, who is a very important, exciting DJ on Radio One, who in previous shows has let another thing from this programme slip into the mix.

01:20:59.011 --> 01:21:00.612
Right, what was it that slipped into the mix?

01:21:00.652 --> 01:21:02.473
Oh, it was a little bit of G-Stix action.

01:21:02.493 --> 01:21:05.455
A little bit of Wee Stix.

01:21:05.475 --> 01:21:05.496
G6.

01:21:05.516 --> 01:21:09.018
Now, Taffyn has managed to infiltrate Kissy's sellout show.

01:21:09.038 --> 01:21:10.179
Have a listen to this clip.

01:21:10.679 --> 01:21:11.500
Yo, yo, yo, what's up?

01:21:11.520 --> 01:21:18.124
This is DJ Atwar, and right now you're in tune with my mini-mix on JaguarSkills and his amazing friend, BBC Radio 1.

01:21:26.442 --> 01:21:27.203
hahahaha

01:21:33.170 --> 01:21:35.311
Yes, that's the extended version as well.

01:21:35.471 --> 01:21:36.092
Come on.

01:21:36.112 --> 01:21:37.132
That's so good.

01:21:37.152 --> 01:21:38.893
It's always good to make it to Radio 1.

01:21:39.093 --> 01:21:46.017
That could surely be the... I mean, Nathan's already started work on it, but that has to be the cornerstone of an extraordinary dance hit.

01:21:46.177 --> 01:21:48.198
I've gotta get... I'm gonna have a try at that.

01:21:48.738 --> 01:21:50.639
Maybe we could do a Taffin-based song wars.

01:21:50.699 --> 01:21:51.639
Let's do it, man!

01:21:51.659 --> 01:21:54.801
We were only allowed to use Taffin, we're actually not allowed to do any vocals.

01:21:54.881 --> 01:21:55.161
Yeah.

01:21:55.241 --> 01:21:56.182
Other than that sample.

01:21:56.282 --> 01:21:56.902
Good idea.

01:21:57.202 --> 01:21:57.762
Good idea.

01:21:57.802 --> 01:22:00.424
What about, can you use samples from elsewhere in the movie?

01:22:02.765 --> 01:22:03.966
Or other Bronholm samples.

01:22:04.186 --> 01:22:05.186
Yeah, Bronholm.

01:22:05.507 --> 01:22:07.288
Other Bronholm samples, that's a good idea.

01:22:07.768 --> 01:22:09.329
Let's give ourselves a little bit of time for this.

01:22:09.469 --> 01:22:10.650
Can we unveil them at Glastonbury then?

01:22:10.950 --> 01:22:14.011
Okay, it's gonna take a while to get all the Bronholm samples in.

01:22:14.232 --> 01:22:14.412
Yeah.

01:22:14.552 --> 01:22:15.432
That's a good idea.

01:22:15.452 --> 01:22:16.053
Let's do it, man.

01:22:16.073 --> 01:22:16.653
It's a plan.

01:22:17.113 --> 01:22:22.576
Finally, on this section of the program, here's another email we had from John in Aberdeen.

01:22:22.596 --> 01:22:23.237
Why did you get angry?

01:22:23.937 --> 01:22:25.198
I was just getting efficient.

01:22:25.319 --> 01:22:26.700
I felt we were getting efficient there.

01:22:27.461 --> 01:22:28.842
We planned something for the future.

01:22:28.942 --> 01:22:29.322
Of the programme.

01:22:29.362 --> 01:22:29.983
I called this a section.

01:22:30.003 --> 01:22:30.644
It was suddenly very officious.

01:22:30.664 --> 01:22:30.724
Yes.

01:22:30.744 --> 01:22:30.804
Yes.

01:22:30.824 --> 01:22:32.685
Okay, what's happening in the section of the programme?

01:22:32.706 --> 01:22:32.886
Shut up.

01:22:32.906 --> 01:22:33.066
Shut it.

01:22:33.086 --> 01:22:33.306
Shut it.

01:22:33.326 --> 01:22:33.486
Shut up.

01:22:33.506 --> 01:22:33.646
Shut up.

01:22:33.666 --> 01:22:33.847
Shut up.

01:22:33.867 --> 01:22:34.487
Shut up.

01:22:34.507 --> 01:22:34.687
Shut up.

01:22:34.707 --> 01:22:34.868
Shut up.

01:22:34.888 --> 01:22:35.028
Shut up.

01:22:35.048 --> 01:22:35.188
Shut up.

01:22:35.208 --> 01:22:35.388
Shut up.

01:22:35.408 --> 01:22:35.568
Shut up.

01:22:35.588 --> 01:22:35.748
Shut up.

01:22:35.768 --> 01:22:35.929
Shut up.

01:22:35.949 --> 01:22:36.089
Shut up.

01:22:36.109 --> 01:22:36.269
Shut up.

01:22:36.329 --> 01:22:36.489
Shut up.

01:22:36.509 --> 01:22:36.709
Shut up.

01:22:36.729 --> 01:22:36.869
Shut up.

01:22:36.889 --> 01:22:37.070
Shut up.

01:22:37.090 --> 01:22:37.530
Shut up.

01:22:37.550 --> 01:22:37.810
Shut up.

01:22:37.830 --> 01:22:37.970
Shut up.

01:22:37.990 --> 01:22:38.131
Shut up.

01:22:38.171 --> 01:22:38.431
Shut up.

01:22:38.451 --> 01:22:38.591
Shut up.

01:22:38.611 --> 01:22:38.751
Shut up.

01:22:38.771 --> 01:22:38.971
Shut up.

01:22:38.991 --> 01:22:39.132
Shut up.

01:22:39.152 --> 01:22:39.292
Shut up.

01:22:39.312 --> 01:22:39.452
Shut up.

01:22:39.472 --> 01:22:39.632
Shut up.

01:22:39.672 --> 01:22:39.832
Shut up.

01:22:39.852 --> 01:22:40.553
Shut up.

01:22:40.573 --> 01:22:40.753
Shut up.

01:22:40.773 --> 01:22:40.973
Shut up.

01:22:41.013 --> 01:22:41.254
Shut up.

01:22:41.374 --> 01:22:41.514
Shut up.

01:22:41.554 --> 01:22:41.714
Shut up.

01:22:41.734 --> 01:22:41.914
Shut up.

01:22:41.934 --> 01:22:42.094
Shut up.

01:22:42.114 --> 01:22:42.295
Shut up.

01:22:42.335 --> 01:22:42.635
Shut up.

01:22:42.955 --> 01:22:43.195
Shut up.

01:22:43.215 --> 01:22:43.436
Shut up.

01:22:43.456 --> 01:22:43.656
Shut up.

01:22:43.676 --> 01:22:43.856
Shut up.

01:22:43.896 --> 01:22:44.156
Shut up.

01:22:44.176 --> 01:22:44.437
Shut up.

01:22:44.477 --> 01:22:44.657
Shut up.

01:22:44.677 --> 01:22:44.857
Shut up.

01:22:44.877 --> 01:22:45.017
Shut up.

01:22:45.037 --> 01:22:45.257
Shut up.

01:22:45.277 --> 01:22:45.538
Shut up.

01:22:45.578 --> 01:22:45.858
Shut up.

01:22:46.338 --> 01:22:46.639
Shut up

01:22:47.768 --> 01:22:50.611
Remember during Wimbledon you guys discussed tennis grunting?

01:22:52.052 --> 01:22:57.256
I was watching the French Open highlights and thought Taffyn might enjoy a set or two of tennis.

01:22:57.817 --> 01:22:59.058
Here are the results.

01:23:24.747 --> 01:23:28.153
It just makes everything better.

01:23:29.744 --> 01:23:33.606
Thank you very much, John and Aberdeen, for creating that and sending that to us.

01:23:34.106 --> 01:23:34.627
Good stuff.

01:23:34.867 --> 01:23:35.227
Wow.

01:23:35.467 --> 01:23:38.749
I mean, surely this has got to end with Bronnholm on the phone, doesn't it?

01:23:39.309 --> 01:23:40.190
It should do, shouldn't it?

01:23:40.270 --> 01:23:41.210
I've interviewed Bronnholm.

01:23:41.270 --> 01:23:41.610
Have you?

01:23:41.790 --> 01:23:44.192
Yeah, when I was doing my Radio 4 film show stint.

01:23:44.232 --> 01:23:45.332
Was he nice or a little frightening?

01:23:45.352 --> 01:23:46.233
He was really nice.

01:23:46.253 --> 01:23:47.393
Yeah.

01:23:47.814 --> 01:23:48.214
I love him.

01:23:48.254 --> 01:23:49.114
I think he's amazing.

01:23:49.134 --> 01:23:52.596
All right, listen, let's say, let's put out the feelers now, because you never know who listens to this show.

01:23:52.616 --> 01:23:54.037
Bronnholm, why would we ask him, though?

01:23:54.237 --> 01:23:55.738
I don't know, we'll just get him to say the thing.

01:23:56.078 --> 01:23:57.880
He never would though, because he's too famous.

01:23:57.940 --> 01:23:59.061
No, he's got a sense of humour.

01:23:59.182 --> 01:23:59.442
Does he?

01:23:59.722 --> 01:24:02.265
Yeah, he's a very, very underrated comic actor.

01:24:02.285 --> 01:24:04.007
The Matador springs to mind.

01:24:04.027 --> 01:24:04.808
Oh, Matador's brilliant.

01:24:04.848 --> 01:24:07.250
He's a very, very underrated comic actor.

01:24:07.290 --> 01:24:07.731
Yeah, yeah.

01:24:07.831 --> 01:24:09.753
He's a very underrated actor per se.

01:24:09.993 --> 01:24:10.234
Sure.

01:24:10.834 --> 01:24:12.376
I've got maximum respect.

01:24:12.416 --> 01:24:13.477
Why you call me per se?

01:24:14.482 --> 01:24:15.163
Because that's your name.

01:24:15.183 --> 01:24:16.324
Why you calling me Percy?

01:24:16.344 --> 01:24:17.345
Percy Edwards.

01:24:17.645 --> 01:24:19.227
My name's Denny Differ.

01:24:19.247 --> 01:24:20.788
He's the beautiful Emmy the Great.

01:24:20.808 --> 01:24:21.890
Yes, this is Iris.

01:24:23.011 --> 01:24:25.734
Just a man having some funky fun in his kitchen, sounds like.

01:24:26.334 --> 01:24:28.136
Ezra Konig, I think that is, isn't it?

01:24:28.196 --> 01:24:32.681
From Vampire Weekend with Warm Heart of Africa, the band that is.

01:24:34.122 --> 01:24:34.842
No, no, no, no, no.

01:24:34.882 --> 01:24:36.403
Warm Heart of Africa is the name of the track.

01:24:36.563 --> 01:24:38.644
The very best is the name of the band, right?

01:24:38.704 --> 01:24:39.244
Well done.

01:24:39.364 --> 01:24:39.884
Thanks, man.

01:24:39.904 --> 01:24:41.145
That was from a couple of years ago.

01:24:42.145 --> 01:24:44.766
And here's a message right now.

01:24:44.886 --> 01:24:48.908
Get rid of... deal with a few messages that we've had coming in.

01:24:49.528 --> 01:24:52.109
Incidentally, thank you so much for all your communication with this show.

01:24:52.149 --> 01:24:54.130
We do read absolutely everything that comes in.

01:24:54.950 --> 01:24:56.933
But it's just not possible to read it all out, is it?

01:24:57.674 --> 01:24:58.696
It's just not physically possible.

01:24:58.716 --> 01:24:59.076
It would be.

01:24:59.277 --> 01:25:03.563
It would be physically possible, but it would take all the entire six music output.

01:25:03.783 --> 01:25:04.504
Yeah.

01:25:04.665 --> 01:25:07.970
When you were away, myself and Garth were talking about greeting problems.

01:25:07.990 --> 01:25:08.070
Yes.

01:25:08.090 --> 01:25:10.133
Something that we've talked about before on the show.

01:25:10.393 --> 01:25:10.633
Yes.

01:25:10.974 --> 01:25:12.976
Here is a message from Laura.

01:25:13.096 --> 01:25:14.057
She says, Hi Adam and Joe.

01:25:14.077 --> 01:25:19.622
Just chipping into your greetings technique discussion, saying goodbye to my cousin-in-law one Christmas.

01:25:19.702 --> 01:25:28.130
She leaned in for the cheek kiss and feeling a bit tentative and air-kissed rather than going directly for her cheek.

01:25:28.150 --> 01:25:29.131
Does that make sense?

01:25:29.351 --> 01:25:29.552
Mm-hmm.

01:25:30.512 --> 01:25:56.983
This backfired massively as the slight suction created by the air kiss pulled her earlobe into my mouth And I ended up nibbling her ear instead of just harmlessly kissing her cheek So she didn't want to go for the actual kiss on the cheek She goes for an air kiss, but she's created so much suction with her lips She sucks her earlobe into her mouth and starts sucking it That's not

01:25:57.844 --> 01:25:59.810
I have problems with those air kisses as well.

01:25:59.850 --> 01:26:00.893
Do you?

01:26:00.913 --> 01:26:02.377
No one does air kisses!

01:26:02.537 --> 01:26:04.323
No, it's a joke thing to do!

01:26:05.191 --> 01:26:07.672
Well, sometimes you... Mwah, mwah, that's what punces do.

01:26:08.052 --> 01:26:09.292
Just sort of holding back a little bit.

01:26:09.332 --> 01:26:09.833
No, no, no, pods kiss.

01:26:11.013 --> 01:26:11.653
It's a pods kiss.

01:26:12.153 --> 01:26:13.734
I tend to smash cheekbones.

01:26:14.634 --> 01:26:17.055
I just bang the cheekbone against the other person's cheekbone.

01:26:17.075 --> 01:26:17.495
Deliberately.

01:26:18.155 --> 01:26:20.876
No, I don't really know what I'm doing is the bottom line.

01:26:21.696 --> 01:26:24.117
So I just sort of smash cheekbones.

01:26:24.177 --> 01:26:29.959
You know, the upshot of the conversation that inspired the chat that myself and Garth had with this lady.

01:26:30.059 --> 01:26:31.460
That was a mangled sentence, wasn't it?

01:26:31.560 --> 01:26:32.280
Anyway, I'll carry on.

01:26:33.421 --> 01:26:50.423
Was the lady was was absolutely lobbying for just a positive Greeting, you know you decide what your greetings gonna be and you go for it and throw yourself into it 100% and she said that she would rather have a lip kiss with a stranger than Just to see the lily-livered

01:26:50.703 --> 01:26:54.507
I'm not sure if I should do both cheeks kind of kiss, you know?

01:26:54.527 --> 01:26:55.588
She's a very forward lady.

01:26:55.668 --> 01:26:58.391
She is, yeah.

01:26:58.411 --> 01:27:00.753
She should work at six music reception.

01:27:01.374 --> 01:27:01.594
Right.

01:27:02.035 --> 01:27:02.375
Would she?

01:27:02.395 --> 01:27:04.778
She could lip kiss everyone what comes in the door.

01:27:04.998 --> 01:27:08.081
I was wondering if you were lip kissing the receptionist lady that was down there at the moment.

01:27:08.301 --> 01:27:08.962
Maybe I am.

01:27:09.262 --> 01:27:10.023
What is it to you?

01:27:10.543 --> 01:27:11.545
I'm just a little bit jealous.

01:27:12.125 --> 01:27:13.808
But thank you very much for that, Laura.

01:27:14.369 --> 01:27:18.114
Thank you for admitting to your earlobe sucking there.

01:27:19.417 --> 01:27:20.318
Let's play the vaccines.

01:27:20.358 --> 01:27:21.480
This is all in white.

01:27:25.930 --> 01:27:27.572
Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.

01:27:27.612 --> 01:27:34.118
Now, we don't have a jingle for eggcorns because they're an irregular element of the programme.

01:27:34.158 --> 01:27:35.620
Yeah, but we've got some good ones.

01:27:35.720 --> 01:27:38.042
Thank you to everybody who sent in your eggcorns.

01:27:38.102 --> 01:27:41.906
If you're not sure what that is, all will become evident when we start to read some out.

01:27:43.027 --> 01:27:45.089
There are some pretty funny ones here, I reckons.

01:27:45.850 --> 01:27:48.252
This is from Alex, a mailman from Tunbridge Wells.

01:27:49.253 --> 01:27:59.903
Um, dear Adam and Joe, my friend was so blown away by a Britain's Got Talent illusion that he sent his, that he set his Facebook status praising the Deftifying stunt.

01:28:00.423 --> 01:28:01.224
Deftifying.

01:28:01.364 --> 01:28:02.685
Deftifying.

01:28:03.446 --> 01:28:04.587
Deftifying.

01:28:04.627 --> 01:28:06.509
That stunt is Deftifying.

01:28:06.589 --> 01:28:07.650
That's absolutely Deftifying.

01:28:07.730 --> 01:28:12.794
So he's combining a Deft stunt with a Deftifying stunt and coming up with Deftifying.

01:28:12.954 --> 01:28:13.615
Deftifying.

01:28:13.795 --> 01:28:38.070
is almost better than better than you know so he's almost improved it it defines deftness that's a good one here's one from Fred of Islington and Sweden he's got a foot in both camps hi Adam and Joe I was doing a course one day operating a scissor lift a few years ago during the classroom based part of what is a scissor lift

01:28:38.550 --> 01:28:54.966
a scissor lift is a sort of platform that goes straight up isn't it with a sort of zigzag mechanism like a concertina mechanism oh yes one of them straight up oh they look fun they are fun they look wicked i'll get you one i'll hire you one for your birthday you can just go up and down on it all day

01:28:55.026 --> 01:28:56.707
Oh man, that would be so good if I could.

01:28:56.787 --> 01:28:57.348
I will do that.

01:28:57.448 --> 01:28:59.329
Please, that would be so nice.

01:28:59.869 --> 01:29:03.192
Fred of Islington, he went on a course to learn how to operate one.

01:29:03.492 --> 01:29:05.133
Lucky man, you're so lucky.

01:29:05.473 --> 01:29:16.601
Every time the instructor gave us an important piece of safety advice, he would point at our pen and paper and tell us to make a mental note, waiting for us to write it down before continuing.

01:29:17.221 --> 01:29:19.843
He says, I'm not a scissor lift driver at the moment.

01:29:20.313 --> 01:29:26.916
So the guy is saying, he's just got the phrase, okay, I'll make a mental note, but he's, what he means is just make a note, make a note.

01:29:27.457 --> 01:29:38.723
He's got the sort of, uh, you know, the brain, the interior life confused with exterior life, the tangible confused with the intangible, the physical with the metaphysical.

01:29:39.943 --> 01:29:40.183
Yeah.

01:29:40.363 --> 01:29:44.265
He should, he should get into some sort of poetry instead of teaching scissor lift.

01:29:44.706 --> 01:29:45.066
Sure.

01:29:45.206 --> 01:29:45.586
Sure.

01:29:46.246 --> 01:29:46.927
Make a mental note.

01:29:47.968 --> 01:29:52.471
And then do you think he's just using biro to scrawl onto his subconscious?

01:29:52.671 --> 01:29:53.191
Mental things.

01:29:53.712 --> 01:29:54.933
Here's one from anonymous.

01:29:55.793 --> 01:29:59.656
I've recently come across a rather fantastic head corn via my mother-in-law-to-be.

01:30:00.097 --> 01:30:04.400
My wedding is three weeks away and the mother-in-law-to-be was describing an outfit she'd seen.

01:30:04.960 --> 01:30:13.587
I must admit my attention was waning but when she started describing the finer details she used the term Del Monte's instead of Diamante's.

01:30:14.503 --> 01:30:18.684
She has since been corrected by my other half but she will not use the correct term.

01:30:19.345 --> 01:30:21.726
What lovely Del Monte's on that dress.

01:30:23.206 --> 01:30:24.967
That's like the ultimate accolade isn't it?

01:30:25.307 --> 01:30:28.088
Wow that looks exactly like a delicious tin of peaches.

01:30:30.869 --> 01:30:36.431
Nick says, a male person, not sure if this even counts as an eggcorn but my lady partner friend once said one of my favourite things ever.

01:30:37.471 --> 01:30:40.032
Oh I'm so tired I could sleep a horse.

01:30:41.741 --> 01:30:43.465
I'm trying to use that more in day to day life.

01:30:43.485 --> 01:30:44.467
Now what's going on there?

01:30:44.708 --> 01:30:47.133
I could eat a horse and I could sleep like a log.

01:30:47.153 --> 01:30:47.915
I could sleep a horse.

01:30:47.975 --> 01:30:48.998
I could eat a log.

01:30:52.119 --> 01:30:53.399
I could sleep a horse.

01:30:53.720 --> 01:30:55.440
I mean, that's pretty twisted.

01:30:55.540 --> 01:30:56.460
And here's a really good one.

01:30:56.520 --> 01:30:58.401
Finally, from Eleanor, a lady person in York.

01:30:58.641 --> 01:31:02.922
I thought I'd share this overheard conversation from work today for your occasional egg corns feature.

01:31:03.322 --> 01:31:07.064
One colleague was trying to open an iron brew bottle, but she couldn't get the lid off.

01:31:07.504 --> 01:31:13.065
She joked that this was because she hadn't been drinking her iron brew, so she wasn't getting enough iron to make her strong.

01:31:13.326 --> 01:31:17.147
Colleague number two commented, oh, it's like one of those bacon and egg situations.

01:31:18.927 --> 01:31:21.208
Cue a quick exit to the coffee lounge to giggle.

01:31:21.508 --> 01:31:22.749
Bacon and egg situation.

01:31:22.949 --> 01:31:23.689
Yeah, sure.

01:31:23.929 --> 01:31:25.490
What came first, the bacon or the egg?

01:31:26.071 --> 01:31:26.671
Uh, the bacon.

01:31:27.372 --> 01:31:27.552
Mmm.

01:31:27.592 --> 01:31:28.812
Get it sizzling and then you put the egg in.

01:31:28.992 --> 01:31:29.193
Yes.

01:31:29.853 --> 01:31:30.413
Simple as that.

01:31:30.533 --> 01:31:31.834
Philosophical quandary solved.

01:31:32.234 --> 01:31:32.915
Here's a free play.

01:31:32.935 --> 01:31:33.675
This is yours, Joe.

01:31:33.735 --> 01:31:38.478
Yeah, this is a little bit of sweet soul music, courtesy of, and how do you say this band's name, Adam?

01:31:38.958 --> 01:31:43.681
Well, we used to enjoy saying Tony Tony Tony, but I think... I think it's just Tony Tony Tony.

01:31:43.701 --> 01:31:44.822
This is called Thinking of You.

01:31:45.282 --> 01:31:47.304
It's Desire by Anna Calvi.

01:31:47.444 --> 01:31:48.284
That's it from us.

01:31:48.545 --> 01:31:53.388
Thank you very much to everybody who's listened and emailed us and texted us.

01:31:53.488 --> 01:31:55.930
This programme will be available as a podcast.

01:31:56.691 --> 01:32:01.094
Pretty soon in the next few hours they're getting faster and faster at turning out that podcast.

01:32:01.114 --> 01:32:02.155
Maybe not until this evening.

01:32:02.175 --> 01:32:03.456
After 6pm I think it is.

01:32:04.036 --> 01:32:05.097
Yeah.

01:32:05.577 --> 01:32:07.538
So yeah, thank you very much indeed for listening.

01:32:07.558 --> 01:32:09.940
Here's a quick message actually from Liam Ringwood.

01:32:09.960 --> 01:32:12.621
Do you remember we were talking about sticking it to the man the other week?

01:32:13.102 --> 01:32:19.505
People ringing through apples at a cheaper price there to save 20p sometimes to stick it to that man.

01:32:20.066 --> 01:32:25.029
Liam says, what do you think happens when someone buys something but pretends it's something else?

01:32:25.529 --> 01:32:34.212
The store computers say it's still there, but someone's waltzed off with it, happy that they've cheated the man out of 20p, or some stupid amount like that.

01:32:34.692 --> 01:32:36.613
Someone has to go looking for it in the warehouse.

01:32:37.133 --> 01:32:38.673
Maybe it's been mislaid somewhere.

01:32:38.793 --> 01:32:42.074
If it's fresh fruit, it might start rotting away before anyone notices.

01:32:42.495 --> 01:32:43.735
You're not cheating the man!

01:32:43.975 --> 01:32:46.976
You're creating more work and stress for the little guys!

01:32:47.376 --> 01:32:48.797
Stop stealing things!

01:32:49.157 --> 01:32:52.418
It doesn't hurt the man, it hurts the honest worker!

01:32:53.240 --> 01:32:54.121
Wow, that's chastening.

01:32:54.141 --> 01:32:54.902
Alright.

01:32:55.062 --> 01:32:55.743
He's got a point.

01:32:56.124 --> 01:32:57.466
He's got a point, but what are you supposed to do?

01:32:57.486 --> 01:33:01.291
Just take it to the man, like, get political and, like, go on rallies and... Well, that's the problem.

01:33:01.311 --> 01:33:04.775
The man surrounding himself with normal people is a kind of a human shield.

01:33:06.458 --> 01:33:07.439
You know, you want to do something...

01:33:08.320 --> 01:33:11.202
It's like he's saying... Just go up to the man and give him a slap.

01:33:11.342 --> 01:33:12.162
In the julies.

01:33:12.242 --> 01:33:13.803
In the julies.

01:33:13.863 --> 01:33:17.305
Coming up soon, of course, the wonderful Liz Kershaw.

01:33:17.525 --> 01:33:21.648
She is talking about who's the most talented musician to come out of Britain, Dappy, today.

01:33:21.688 --> 01:33:24.950
And there's going to be a lot of talk about Mr Bowie as well.

01:33:25.610 --> 01:33:26.631
So stay tuned for that.

01:33:26.671 --> 01:33:28.072
She's coming up in a matter of minutes.

01:33:28.112 --> 01:33:32.514
We'll be with you at the same time next week at 10am here on BBC6 Music.

01:33:32.674 --> 01:33:35.736
Right now we're going to sign off with the birds, so you want to be a rock and roll star.

01:33:35.776 --> 01:33:36.516
Take care, love you all!

01:33:37.639 --> 01:33:37.782
Bye.