is the voice of the big British castle, coming live from the lost and married Hest in hell.
Everyone's nude and covered in mud and dancing round and round, except for Adam and Jo, who are wearing protective suits and nuclear boots.
Come on.
That is the Wombles with Remember You're a Womble.
This is Adam and Joe here at Glastonbury live.
We're standing right by the pyramid stage in the mud and the slurry.
It's very exciting.
And how are you doing, Joe?
I'm doing very well.
Something strange has happened, listeners.
What's happened?
Well, we sent out a call on last week's show for any listeners who were here at Glastonbury to join us outside the left gate outside the pyramid stage at 10 a.m.
We are now outside the left gate at the pyramid stage at 10 a.m.
And lo and behold, there's 60 million Black Squadron members.
That's the sound of the squadron.
Now that's real, I mean that's not just a sound effect we load up.
Sorry, my stomach's having a few problems, had a kebab.
The problem is, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you right now that we're right by the pyramid stage and that sound, the strange sound you can hear there is David Bowie's spaceship landing.
He's just come down to earth.
He's been talking to some silver nooses.
He's now joined us in the mud.
We've asked him to keep it down.
Obviously it's a little disruptive, but the pyramid stage sound guys are on board.
I had a little fight with one of them yesterday.
Did you?
Yeah, a little rock.
I pushed him in the mud.
Did you?
We were rolling around a little bit.
I teased him and he teased me back.
I'm going to be disappointed if this is a lie.
It is a little bit of a lie.
I'm disappointed.
Sorry, mate.
Hey, hello, Black Squadron, again.
Hello!
Thank you very much, everybody, for turning out.
Some of you have even printed out your taffin masks.
We put some pictures of Pierce Brosnan on the blog, and some people have cut them out and are wearing them.
Should we talk to this... Why don't we... This gentleman's coming forward.
Hello sir, what's your name?
My name's Ian.
Ian, and you're holding your taffin mask, you're not wearing it, why?
It was all a bit of a last minute rush on Tuesday evening.
Pretty off at work, take it home, cut it out.
How would you feel if as punishment, the rest of the Black Squadron tore you to shreds?
Maybe a little harsh, but understandable.
Well you know what Black Squadron's like, it is harsh, we're tough.
It's tougher than the SAS.
Well, but we should stand the squadron to attention with the jingle, shouldn't we?
Yeah, we should.
So we've got Mike at central control covered in mud there.
Mike, are you ready to fire off the Black Squadron jingle on my command?
One, two, three, go for it!
Black Squadron!
Always catch the beginning of the show.
Black Squadron don't want us to be.
That's not the way, that's once and for all.
Went to bed at a reasonable hour Can't be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the squadron's power Black Squadron!
There you go, live Black Squadroning here.
The squadron is standing to attention.
They are fully erect and looking very good.
Not too muddy at all actually considering we are in an absolute mud slurry deluge situation after a day of heavy rain yesterday here at the festival.
But they're looking good and a few tapping masks here.
David, is there any way you could turn off your spaceship just for this?
This is the most sinister of all taffin masks.
What's your name, sir?
Pete.
Hey, Pete.
Describe Joe what Pete has done with his mask.
Well, he sort of cut the eyes out in a terrifying sack boy way, as if he'd actually ripped the flesh off Pierce Brosnan's face.
It looks exactly like the bit in Silence of the Lambs where Anthony Hopkins stuffs up a security guard, then removes his face as a disguise.
Say, put the lotion in the basket.
Put the lotion in the basket.
Very good.
Oh wait, was she a great big fat person?
So listen, there's one thing we should do here with Black Squadron, is to reconstruct the now classic scene from Taffyn.
I think we should wait a little bit.
That'll be the climax of our encounter with the squadron.
I can't wait!
We've got so much to talk to them all about.
We want to find out about yesterday's surprise guests who are over at the park stage.
We want to find out how they're dealing with the adverse conditions here at the festival.
But right now, here's some music.
This is Cool and the Gang.
Good effort cooling the gang.
That's jungle boogie.
Hey, this is Adam and Joe here on BBC six music Saturday morning We are here with black squadron about I would say sorry Adam James's telephone stringing Oh
I would say around about a thousand people here with us outside the pyramid stage.
I mean I'm slightly making that up because all I can see is the front few rows of people.
I'm too short to see how far the crowd goes back.
But in my mind it's like thousands.
Yesterday, here at Glastonbury, a rumour went round that Radiohead would be playing on the park stage as the big surprise guests and it turned out to be untrue.
Oh, that's a shame.
Scootch came out and they were amazing.
They played a blinding set.
But apparently people were angry that Scootch is, you know, Scootch were on such a small stage that some people couldn't hear their hits.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, it took ages to get to the scooch field and there was a little revolution and what happened in the end was that the crowd got so out of control that Radiohead decided they would play.
Right.
After all.
Coral is over here.
She's a squadron member.
How you doing, Coral?
I'm very good, thank you.
How are you?
Yeah, very, very good.
You've painted your face beautiful like a, like a fairy.
It's all glittery.
How long, when did you paint your face?
This morning, it was actually, my friend did it.
It took her about 40 minutes.
She did a great job.
Now Coral you went over to see Radiohead yesterday over at the park stage and we were sat in the BBC compound before that kicked off at eight o'clock and there were urgent messages coming through on the radio saying they're shutting down the park stage there's too many people it's out of control it's getting dangerous.
How was it in reality?
I actually got there four hours early so I was at the front I mean I watched previously I think they were war paint and then bad so as I was there just more and more people kept driving my friends were on their way and I phoned them to say you're not going to get in and it was just insane I mean I'm quite short so I couldn't see behind me but when I looked it just went on forever and there was people stood up on the hill at the stone circle trying to watch it was quite insane
And what was the reaction when, because presumably by that time most people knew that it was Radiohead that were going to pop out, but how did the crowd respond when Tom came out and what did he start playing?
What was their first number?
They went wild.
I think he played Lotus Flower first.
He came out and started dancing.
Everyone just went mental, basically.
And was it Smiley Tom we got yesterday, or slightly taciturn Tom?
Grumpy Tom?
Like Morrissey was a little bit grumpy, I know, just maybe because he was unhappy about being up against Radiohead.
But was Tom on good form?
I've only ever seen Smiley Tom when I've seen Radiohead, so yeah, he was on great form.
He was dancing around, you know, he was making little jokes.
It was really good.
Because one of the last times that Radiohead were here, I think, at Glastonbury was one of their massive gigs where they had all kinds of technical problems, didn't they, which really freaked them out playing live for a long time.
So I guess it must have been a nice triumphant return for them, wasn't it?
Oh, yeah, definitely.
I mean, they really enjoyed it.
They came out for an encore at the end and everything.
They seemed really thrilled with the response and everyone there and how it turned out.
Excellent.
Hey, thanks a lot, Coral.
Nice to talk to you, and I love your face.
Thank you.
Right now, shall we play a little bit more music before engaging the squadron?
Mumford and Sons, did they play yesterday?
Yeah, they were on the other stage last night.
Now Joe, do you like Mumford best or the Sons?
I find the Sons a little bit annoying.
They all tend to do four-player Mario Kart together and they're very loud and competitive.
and Mummy Mumford has to come and tick them off.
Yeah, well Mumford, she's quite strict though, isn't she?
She makes the sons eat cucumber and carrot batons.
She's huge and maternal.
She's got eight breasts.
She feeds all the sons from them.
That's alright, it's just farm talk.
Here they are, recorded live on the other stage from Glastonbury last night.
This is Mumford and Sons.
So that was Mumford and Sons that you heard there before.
We are inside a band.
We're just where we were but the sound check has begun on the pyramid stage.
Oh it stopped, it stopped.
Fantastic.
OK.
We think that could be a different colour squadron trying to subvert this morning's event.
Now this is Adam and Joe here live at Glastonbury and we are with Black Squadron, the elite listening force that listened to the show live for the first half hour.
What was that squadron?
Steven!
That rock went this morning.
That's proper.
So before we take our leave of the squadron and go back to our portacabin, we have some Taffin business that we need to deal with don't we guys?
So who has now seen the film Taffin and enjoyed it thoroughly?
Yeah, of course.
Sort of eight people.
Eight slightly insane people.
But what we're going to do is recreate for you that pivotal scene right now.
So are you going to be Bronnholm?
No, no, no.
No, I'm not going to be Bronnholm.
Okay, I'm going to be Bronnholm.
Yes, this is perfect Taffin music.
This is the music Taffin likes to make love to.
Rob is here.
He's a squadron member and he's going to be the lady in the Taffin scene.
Hey, Rob, how are you doing?
I'm very well indeed, thank you.
And you know your lines?
I know some of them, yes.
Squadron, are you ready?
Here we go for some live tapping action.
And the scene begins with Bron Hom sat in the sofa saying, what goes on in this town of none of your business?
Well, as long as I'm living here, it is my business.
Thank you very much, Black Squadron, live at Glastonbury 2011.
Black Squadron, we salute you, thank you for coming, and thank you for listening, and thank you for being amazing.
Right now on 6Music, it's time for Jimmy Cliff.
This was recorded last night here at the Glastonbury Festival.
We'll rejoin you very soon.
Take care, here's Jimmy.
that's the eels and this is adam and joe here live at glastonbury yeah we've just returned to our little porter cabin having met uh our black squadron members who were fantastic they all came out in force didn't they we really genuinely expected to see maybe five people when we walked out there it looked like there were about 10 squadron members but then suddenly
People from all around started gathering.
It was incredible and there, I mean, Squadron members at home as well, you are part of a wonderful, good-looking, intelligent family and we salute you.
We should stand you down right now if you're listening, so here's the stand-down jingle.
Stand down, your work is done.
You've earned yourself a nice warm bath and maybe a nice little bun.
Now, of course, if you were at home, you didn't receive a command.
Don't feel left out.
That's part of the psychological challenge for Black Squadron members, to deal with the fact that, you know, you weren't able to get here, so weren't able to be involved in that, but don't feel bad.
No, exactly.
Because you can take heart in the fact that myself and Joe are now drunk out of our minds on power.
I mean, I feel amazing that we had that huge gang of people out there.
And I've suddenly got much too big for my boots.
Really?
I noticed that.
I can't take them off anymore.
I tried to take them off when I came in here, but there's no way they're coming off.
They're bulging.
They look like the Incredible Hulk's trousers.
Yeah, exactly.
My calves are spilling over the side, the tops of the boots.
I'm getting very demanding.
I've demanded that Lucy goes and gets me a fruit pot, and not a fruit pot like I had this morning, which is a disgrace.
It looked nice on the top, had some strawberries and oranges, but then the rest of the fruit pot was mainly watermelon.
It was just a mulch of watermelon.
You've really changed.
Yeah, I have changed and I don't want ever see that kind of fruit pot again that kind of slush.
All right, okay Yeah, yeah, but you be you be bad cop.
I'll be good cop and say a sincere Thank you to every single member of black squadron here at Glastonbury who turned out this morning
That was cockle warming.
Absolutely.
And I think what we're going to do as well if you... My cockles are overheating.
Easy with your... Whoa!
There's a big patch appearing on your jeans there.
Steady on.
Cornballs.
You want to put it out and just chuck some water on it.
There you go.
So we're going to be going out once again to see the squadron after the show.
If you are here at Glastonbury, then let it be known that we will come out and hang for a while after the show finishes around about one, maybe do our podcast links there.
We've got some nonsense nonsense nonsense t-shirts we can give you if you're still here and you want to meet us just in the same sort of place by the gate to the left of the pyramid stage at about maybe five or ten past one.
Can't guarantee that everyone will get a t-shirt I'm sorry to say because we grossly underestimated the incredibly large numbers that we were going to be dealing with.
Yeah, there was a feeding frenzy over the t-shirts.
Absolutely.
But it's nice out there.
It's no longer raining.
It was raining the whole of yesterday, more or less.
The forecast is good today.
The sun isn't out yet, but the skies are clearing and it's all looking good for Glastonbury.
So let's have some more music right now and then resume our normal nonsense after this.
What have we got here, James?
Oh, a bit of Primal Scream.
Is this live from yesterday?
Here they are.
It's the screamers.
They headlined the other stage last night at Glastonbury.
Last time they played in 2005, they had to be taken off stage by officials for overrunning.
Quite right, they're very naughty.
Absolutely the naughtiest bunch of Repscallions around.
I think it's time we had a bit of retro-textination, don't you?
James, let's fire off the jingle.
I like to listen to Adam and Joan But I listen to the podcast, not the live show I used to feel acute frustration Because I couldn't join in with Text the Nation
But now my troubles have disappeared Because retrotext, they may show zeal And now my letter might be read out Instead of thrown in the bin and forgotten about Wow, what a jingle It's so moving, I think we should have half an hour of silence
just to let that jingle resonate.
I mean, it would be good, I suppose, in a way, for you, Joe Cornish, if one of the bands here at Glastonbury was to cover that.
It's probably going to happen.
Yeah, you reckon?
Yeah, I'd imagine one of the exciting secret acts.
It does sound like a Coldplay track.
What am I supposed to say to that?
You're supposed to be flattered.
They're headlining the pyramid stage tonight, you know?
Yeah.
Sounds like one of the good Coldplay tracks.
Hey, thanks.
Sounds amazing.
I can see Martin sitting there with sweat beading down his forehead and... I don't think he could give it the requisite passion and emotion.
yeah he just doesn't have the voice that's true isn't it he's no cornballs so listen listeners retro text the nation is of course the part of the show where if you listen to the program online or via the podcast you can contribute to the previous week's text the nation subject which was nature war
This was inspired by a story I had about battling nettles.
I had some nettles problems outside my house.
We got quite a lot of nettle-based responses, didn't we?
Some people were.
Angered by your destruction of the nettles.
Well, Tom Moseley from Birmingham says, dear Adam and Joe, stop giving the nettles a bad time, guys!
I'm actually going to read this in what is probably quite an offensive kind of caricature of what I imagined Tom to be.
Uh-oh.
Okay, here we go.
Strap yourself down, Tom.
Stop giving the nettles a bad time, guys.
Thanks to the stinging hairs, nettles are rarely eaten by herbivores.
Is this Neil from The Young Ones?
A little bit, yeah.
You can also be seen playing drums for the Fleet Foxes.
Yeah, there you go, yes.
I'm imagining Tom Moseley in Birmingham with his long beard there.
He's wandering around more or less nude.
He's got pants made of nettles.
He survives entirely on a nettle-based diet.
He absolutely loves nettles.
He lives in a nettle house.
He says they provide long-term shelter for insects such as caterpillars and many butterflies and moths.
The insects in turn provide food for small birds such as tits.
as a herbal remedy.
Young nettles have many benefits.
They can be used to treat hay fever, arthritis and anemia.
An infusion of nettles in tea can be used as a blood purifier and a cleansing tonic.
The plant has an anti-asmatic, anti-dandruff, astringent diuretic and hypoglycemic properties and can be used to treat internal bleeding, hemorrhoids, eczema and other skin problems.
It's also good for kidney and urinary system ailments.
Nettles can also be used to curdle milk instead of rennet.
Did you know that?
That's useful, isn't it?
I think you're putting on that mocking accent because you're threatened by his knowledge.
I am a little bit.
He says, so guys, wise up.
Stop dissing this amazing plant.
Us kids deserve to know better.
All the best, Tom.
Mostly Birmingham.
Well done, Tom.
I agree with you.
I think you're right.
And I think you should be furious with Adam for belittling your info burst.
Well, I don't know.
I still have a lot of nettle problems.
I'm going to read you a poem in a little bit that someone sent in all about nettles, which I'd never seen before.
But you've got a nettle, or not nettle-based, but just a nature story.
Yeah, nature taking its revenge.
This is an email we got from Kit, who's a male man, and he lives in Australia, mate.
Oh, mate!
He says, hello Adam's shame and sloppy Joe.
Adam's shame?
Yeah, I don't know.
I wouldn't worry about that.
Your man versus nature stroke nature wars text the nation topic reminded me of when I was a little boy on holidays Oh a damn shame.
Oh a damn shame.
You got it.
You got it We were playing chasey in the dark at a holiday caravan park love chasey as I know not love chasey just chasey I'm too young for love chasey I love chase as I raced through the dark a huge cicada flew straight into my mouth and hit me on the back of my throat it was vibrating as if it
It was vibrating as it flew along and rattled in my mouth.
I spat it out in disgust.
So awful was the feeling I lay on the ground spitting for some minutes.
Oh, mate.
It's not over yet.
He has a flashback.
Months later, I was back in town riding my BMX down a steep hill.
The... Oh, hello.
My computer shut down.
Sorry.
Down a steep hill.
The thought of the cicada flying into my mouth suddenly just popped into my head.
I started involuntary sp... Infonterra... What?
Oh, this is a disaster, this email.
Involuntarily, mate.
I started in... I should read it in an Australian accent, that's the key.
Of course, that's where you went wrong.
I started involuntarily spitting again, as though the cicada were in my mouth, and crashed my bicycle into a lamppost, which was painful and embarrassing.
Nature wins again.
Bye!
Carter in the throat imagine that jumping around vibrating your rubbing its legs together Underneath your uvula.
It's like something out of Silence of the Lambs.
It's absolutely hideous ingesting moths So here's this poem that Amy sent in She is a woman
And she says I'm marking GCSE English exams at the moment and one of the poems in the anthology is called nettles by Vernon Scannell Listening to Adams discussion about the nettles in his garden that reminded me of the protective father in this poem Slashing away at the nettles in revenge for his son's nettles stings So I'm gonna read you a poem right now listeners.
Who's this poem by?
This is Victor Scannell.
Okay
And he was born in 1922, a British poet and author, a one-time professional boxer.
He also wrote novels about the sport.
What kind of voice are you going to use to read the poem?
Now, that's a good question.
I mean, I'm thinking sort of Radio 4 sonorous.
Yes, very close and soothing.
Yeah, to make this kind of, you know, classy.
Let's hear it.
It's the kind of thing Bob Dylan might do on Theme Time Radio Hour, suddenly read a poem.
Could you do it in a Bob voice?
Okay.
My son, age three, fell in the nettle bed.
Bed seems like a curious name for those green spears.
That regiment of... That's not a good Bob Dylan voice, is it?
I'm enjoying it.
That regiment of spite behind the shed.
It was no place for rest.
With sobs and tears, the boy came seeking comfort, and I saw white blisters beaded on his tender skin.
We smoothed him till his pain was not so raw.
At last he offered us a watery grin.
And then I took my billhook, honed the blade, and went outside and slashed in fury with it, till not a nettle in that fierce parade stood upright any more.
And then I lit a funeral pyre to burn the fallen dead.
But in two weeks the busy sun and rain had called up tall recruits behind the shed.
My son would often feel sharp wounds again.
That's very deep.
Vernon Scannell.
I think I said Victor before.
That's very deep.
That was very beautifully read.
I mean, there was a little bit of a stumble, but Bob's old.
Bob's old.
I mean, that wasn't my best Bob Dylan impression.
In a way, I wish that I'd gone for the Radio 4 voice, but I think you've got one more just to... I do have one more.
A final battle with nature.
This comes from Dan Swindlehurst, who is a man boy.
I don't know what that means, really.
He's like Mowgli.
He says, a few years ago, I was on holiday in Indonesia with my now ex-girlfriend.
Whilst visiting temples out in the jungle, I was bitten by a spider.
As any man would do, I totally ignored it.
The next day, I had a high fever and mild hallucinations, but I refused to tell my then girlfriend.
As any time I complained of being ill, she would mock me mercilessly and call my manhood into question.
So, feeling like I was dying, we went for a huge trek under the blazing sun to a monkey temple.
where I was punched in the face by a monkey.
Monkey punch?
Wallop.
Nature well and truly beat me that day.
Dan Swindlehurst.
And then he says he's got a picture of the monkey as well there.
Check that out, man.
Look at that.
He looks quite happy having been punched by the monkey.
He's sort of happy.
He says he was so ill when I came back from Indonesia, I had to quit my job and then I lost my girlfriend.
Happy times.
Love you.
Bye.
So he's never going back.
He got a monkey punch.
He got ill.
He lost his girlfriend.
She didn't sound like a very good girlfriend though.
That's the way monkeys greet each other.
By punching?
Yeah.
Maybe it's a greeting you and I should take up.
Just a quick little lamp in the face.
A little bit of a monkey punch.
But I wouldn't be able to reach your face because I'm too small.
That would be a good film, Monkey Punch.
It would be a Julie Punch.
Okay, so here's some music now from one of the acts that is going to be headlining the
Park stage tonight, Wild Beasts, they were here in the John Peel stage last year and we very much enjoyed their set and I hope we're going to be maybe meeting them later on today but this is one of my favourite tracks from their current album Smother, this is Bed of Nails.
Bombay Bicycle Club, that's rinse me down.
They play the other stage tomorrow here at Glastonbury.
This is Adam and Joe.
We're live from the rainy festival.
It's not too bad at the moment, but... Not too bad.
White cloud at the moment.
Light rain forecast for later.
But also sunshine and it's going to get hotter and hotter.
I think tomorrow is going to be a scorcher.
But yesterday we went along to the press tent to pick up some vital pieces of paper.
Here's what happened.
Hey, we're at the press tent.
It's right in the middle of the festival and we've just been issued with a list of questions that absolutely every journalist or media person has to use when conducting interviews or chatting to anyone about the festival at all.
As everybody knows, the Glastonbury Festival started out as a free-for-all and now it's a rigorously controlled environment.
Every element prescribed by higher forces including questions and answers asked both by journalists to celebrities and asked between friends.
So let's see how we deal with these.
We're just going to ask each other a few of these.
Joe, tent or teepee?
Tent or teepee, I love that question.
I would go for a teepee tent.
It's a combination of a tent and a teepee.
It's the worst of both things.
It's drafty and flimsy, difficult to erect.
I would go for a peepee tent, which is just a tiny tent that you have around your Netherlands.
And it's somewhere where you can just whistle while you work.
which is a fun song that was in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, if you remember.
It's good because you might be in the middle of a big crowd and you don't want to go and find the nearest lavatory.
You can use your pee-pee tent.
I'm going to ask you one of these standard questions now, Adam.
What was your first Glastonbury memory?
That's a great question, man.
Thanks.
I guess my first memory would have been shortly after I was born.
I don't know if you know, but I was birthed on the Glastonbury tour by friendly wizards and a couple of Torvenusians who were passing through.
My mother was the Earth.
I don't know if you know her.
She's very nice but she's a bit beaten up now.
My father was the Sun.
So I suppose my first memory really was Michael Evers coming over to me and asking me if I wanted to work on the farm.
To which I said yes, I'd love to and I've been here ever since.
How about you?
I think you have false memories.
Really?
Yeah, I'm going to skip that question.
Are you?
You can't skip the questions.
Well, I have to because you're going to ask me this next question.
All right, mate.
Here you go.
Here's one for you.
Oh, this is a great one.
I love this question.
Who are you most looking forward to seeing?
Sorry, I just fell asleep.
I'm awake now.
I'm fine.
I'm absolutely fine.
That's a good question.
Well, there's various approaches to that question.
I mean, approach A is I just name one of the headline apps.
That's the way to get in and out of the question box.
Go on, do an app, do an app.
Beyonce.
Oh, brilliant.
That's a good answer.
Or, if I want to give myself a little more credibility, I might name somebody from one of the lesser stages that no one's heard of, like the Babubidi Bayas, who will be playing their points of view set on the crapola stage.
Over and over again.
Play Babubidi Baya!
An approach C would be to say something absurd.
Like the ordinary boys.
Right, right, right.
Here's who I'm most looking forward to seeing.
One of the Wombles.
Maybe either one of the Wombats or one of the Wombles.
Probably I would love to see a Wombol.
Which Wombol would you be most excited by?
Who do you think?
Chalet.
Obviously Chalet.
Of course Chalet.
She's the sexy one.
A big sexy rat in a pinny.
What man couldn't resist a big lady rat?
She's got 20 breasts!
The rat in the binny!
Yeah, that's why she wears the binny to conceal them.
They're in a line down the centre of her... Can you imagine?
That would be a good photo though, wouldn't it?
Backstage before the Wombles go on with all the Wombles gathered round.
Suckling on Madame Sholay.
Suckling with Madame Sholay!
It's gonna happen.
Wow.
I would love to get into that little huddle.
The rumors are flying around the site about all kinds of special guests.
What I'm most looking forward to is maybe one of the Wombles tearing off their big foamy heads and there being someone exciting and celebrity based underneath there.
I mean I heard Lauren talking about the idea that maybe Florence from Florence and the Machine was going to be under one of the...
I heard another rumor.
I heard that Uncle Bulgaria was going to pull off his own head, which will be traumatic for the audience to begin with, to reveal Florence.
And then five to ten minutes later, after Florence has sung the things that she sings, she would then pull her head off.
to reveal nothing inside.
She's actually pulled her head off.
Oh yeah, so it's just blood.
It's just horrific.
That's absolutely horrific.
But it's very memorable.
Well, a more fun thing obviously would be is if she pulled her head off and Roffle Harris was under there.
Yes, that would be memorable.
It's Roffle Harris!
Oh mate!
And then he'd get out his swabble board and everyone would be happy and the sun would come out.
Maybe that's why it's a bit rainy because Roffle isn't here this year.
There we are, those are the standard Glastonbury questions and if you're at the festival be sure you've got your answers ready because they are the only questions that are allowed to be asked.
Very nice.
That was the vaccines with a track called If You Wanna, recorded live here at the festival yesterday.
Live.
Why do you say live?
Live.
That's how Westwood says it, isn't it?
Live.
He would say live.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Live.
If it's pure fire, lick it twice.
That's what Westwood would say.
And then you'd say it again.
Adam and Joe here at Glastonbury.
Adam and Joe, yeah.
All in check.
Are you going to comment on every single thing?
Yes, yes, yes.
It's my new thing.
Don't you like it?
I just sit here and, well, that's what I usually do anyway.
But listen, listeners, it's time for some Traveling Tales.
Let's have the jingle jungle.
I mean, we all do it.
We've all got to get from A to B. Yeah.
And we do it in the company of, uh, strange human beings.
Universal things.
Sometimes, peculiar situations arise, and that's what this segment is all about.
I've got one here.
Can I start, please, Dad?
Go on, then.
This is from Dominic, who's in his early thirties.
He's a male, and he lives in Sutton, Coalfield.
This says, Dear Adam, Joe, and Producer.
That's a very good, stripped-down intro.
This relates to personal space on foot, not on bottom, so this is unusual.
He's talking about pedestrian travelling.
You may have noticed that some people have a habit of swinging their arms wildly when they walk, instead of holding them rigidly at their sides like normal polite citizens.
I get the popular Birmingham Cross City train service from Sutton Coldfield University Station for my job on or near the Birmingham University campus.
At University Station, passengers disembarking get funneled up a narrow set of steps in order to exit the station.
And it is on these steps that I encounter my problem.
On these steps, the wild swinging arms are often at the crotch level of the person walking behind.
My problem is this.
Do I hang back in order to leave space in between me and the passenger in France, thereby risking the wrath of other passengers behind me who are held up and made late for work?
Or do I risk the very real possibility of a stray arm and hand brushing against my crotch?
He says, risk it.
Dominic's confused.
Maybe he's got a peculiar bottom.
Oh yeah, I mean, what's going on, Dominic?
I mean, you're missing a lot of potential great times there, as far as I can tell.
But I really sympathise with this as a man who is at six foot two and a half, I think I am, height-wise, and I find my crotchal area at precisely that swinging arm height.
Really?
And I love it.
Yeah, of course you do.
I maneuver into exactly the right position.
I love, yeah, I won't go into too much detail, but boy oh boy oh boy.
Sometimes I just go round and round the circle line up and down stairs.
Exactly.
I mean, you don't, you don't really need to travel by tube.
You just pick the most busy time and get on there.
And now this hole is opening in my jeans.
It's going to be a whole new level of excitement.
So Dominic, I would suggest you rip a hole in the crotch of your jeans.
You neglect to wear underwear and go for it.
Have some fun.
Here's something not entirely unrelated from Kaz in Edinburgh.
She says I think it's a she doesn't actually specify you see this is why the whole mailman lady woman thing came in because Kaz I've no idea if that's a lady mariner or anyway Kaz says I was recently traveling by train from Aberdeen at a table across from the aisle from me There was a female lady that kept giving me withering looks as I giggled to myself whilst listening to one of your podcasts on my iPod
However, I was then the one giving her odd looks as she took a tin of fragrant deodorant spray from her bag and sprayed it up her miniskirt.
As this odd sweet smell filled the carriage.
Have you read this through before reading it now?
Yeah, it's one of the last shows we're at Glastonbury.
All I could think of, he says, as this odd sweet smell filled the carriage, all I could think of was that we were smelling cheap spray infused with lady parts from Kaz in Edinburgh.
I mean, that is, it's weird, isn't it?
You don't, that's not a fun smell, I don't think.
Maybe it is a fun smell.
It's strange when women do their toilet on the train.
And when I say toilet, I mean makeup routines.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't mean actually going to the lavatory.
You are digging a big dirty hole for yourself.
What?
Come on, that's a fun dirty hole.
You're the one riding around on the circle line with the big hole in your trousers, pressing up against people.
That's a good one, that's a good one.
Wow, what an extraordinary series of pictures you've painted in everyone's mind.
Is that it for Travelling
I've got one more here.
This is a nice view from an American a minute.
I'm very exotic I'm not gonna do an American accent for him You'll have to imagine that for yourself listeners, but he says his name is Dylan Savage Dylan Savage Dylan Savage He's an annihilator
he says dear adenoid and buxinator i'm a postal worker man from memphis tennessee and i recently returned from a vacation in the uk and ireland on the train from edinburgh uh from on the train to edinburgh from york after a delay we were about a minute down the track before someone pulled the emergency lever or lever as they think the americans call it in the carriage behind me the sardonic though at the moment irate scottish conductor rushed down the aisle and shouted
You pulled the Franglin' lever?
For what?
I later learned that he had broken up a fight and thrown the man off the train and that's why someone had pulled a lever and he didn't think it was sufficiently important.
A man had been thrown from a traveling train?
Yeah, the Scottish conductor.
Ah, you're off!
I don't care if I'm not in the station!
No, you know, they were at the station and there was a fight and they stopped.
My girlfriend and I were then sitting at a table seat across the aisle from some rough people from Newcastle who were a little bit drunk and kept shouting out lyrics along with their iPods.
We will give them the axe!
He says, was one of the lyrics that they shouted out from there.
I don't know what they could have been listening to there.
And they were also yelling at people who made the mistake of walking by.
This was one of my first experiences in what became a wonderful and surreal trip in the UK.
I later saw a woman in a bus station in Galway feed her toddler by pouring coke into a baby bottle.
and then shaking it up to shoot the carbonation out of the rubber nipple.
I got the impression that she did this quite often.
P.S.
I spent the whole time annoying my girlfriend by saying things to her in an Australian accent.
Please keep doing it.
I'm a big fan of Aussie accents.
Thanks mate!
Cheers, Dylan Savage.
Wow.
So that's nice.
And we might have some more traveling tales later on in the program.
Yes, we might.
But how about this now?
This was recorded live yesterday on the Pyramid Stage.
This is a hip hop group.
You might have heard of them.
They're called the Wu Tang Clan.
Now, what is gravel pit about?
What's all that about?
Well, let's listen and find out.
But, you know, I saw this performance on the telly as part of the BBC's brilliant television coverage of the festival.
And somebody somewhere in the BBC had done a very good job of dipping out the swears.
and I was very impressed because basically you can't hear a word they're saying right they're just kind of freeform you know stream of consciousness mumble rapping but someone in the BBC knows the Woos lyrics so well they managed to dip out the swearys is that the version we're going to hear now will it have swearys dipped out so yeah marvel at the incredible swear removal skills of the BBC
The Wu-Tang Clan recorded live yesterday, but I mean, I could do that.
No, you couldn't.
Yes, I could.
Just give me a beat and you go.
You're just revealing your ignorance.
I mean, it's because it's a live thing.
I'm not talking about rapping, all rapping.
I thought that last night.
I thought, they're just mumbling.
They're saying anything you want.
But I listened very carefully there with the lyrics open here on my laptop and they were very much on point.
All the lyrics were correct.
There's a lot of lyrics to remember.
If you're a hip hop artist, you've got to remember five hundred percent more than your average rock artist.
That's absolutely true, isn't it?
Yeah.
Do you often see rappers out there with lyric sheets, Markie Smith style when they're performing live?
No, I don't think you could.
You couldn't read it fast enough, because you've got to hold the rhythm in your head, haven't you?
It's now acceptable in rock to do it if you're a certain type of performer.
Sean Ryder used to do it.
To have an autocue.
Well, just to have a big grubby piece of paper on stage.
The RZA was word for word perfect there.
Method Man was word for word perfect.
But from my following of the lyrics here, I think Method went off script, maybe on the third verse.
Oh, Method Man, mate.
Very, very disappointing.
We're going to have to give him a talking to.
You know, later on in this program, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to be playing you a pre-recorded encounter that we had with Robin Pecknold of the Fleet Foxes.
Yeah, and if you've ever stevened at a Fleet Foxes concert, you might want to hear what Mr. Pecknold has to say about that.
We grilled him on his feelings about that whole phenomena, because it is a phenomena.
Phenomenon.
Being reported widely by John Travolta.
Sure.
And that is coming up later on in the program, maybe in the next half hour.
Yeah, okay after 12, but right now.
Here's some more music This is the naked and famous and a track called punching a dream recorded live yesterday
Mark Bolen and T-Rex their 20th century boy Mark Bolen played the very first Glastonbury Festival stepped in for the kinks who decided so not to make it and Mike Leavis tells a story about going up to Mark Bolen's car as he was driving in onto the site he had a fancy car and Mike Leavis went over to say hello and kind of put his arm on the side of the car to greet Mark and Mark said hey don't touch my car man
That's not very cool, is it?
That's not very cool.
It must have been a nice car.
Yeah.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC Six Music.
Six Music are broadcasting live all day from the Glastonbury Festival.
So stick with us.
But right now it's gone eleven thirty.
It's time for the news.
Yes, that's the Queen to the Stone Age, mate.
Right.
2002.
Suitably prehistoric there.
There is a slight Stone Age vibe here at the Glastonbury Festival as everyone is covered in mud and behaving in a primitive way.
Give me my beer.
Get up, Bill!
You got deodorant?
You let me out deodorant?
Hey, do you want some interesting facts about one of tonight's headliners?
Only if they're stone cold facts.
I mean, I don't want any of this silly silliness.
Things were a little silly yesterday with the U2 facts, but today these are absolutely solid gold facts about the mighty Coldplay.
Are they from the home of all facts, the internet?
Here's the jingle.
Prepare the factual generator.
Fuck, how I think it's working now.
Now give me Glastonbury Facts!
Oh, now it's broken, okay.
So it is a little bit damaged, the factual generator.
But let's see how we get on.
Did you know, and these are facts about some of the members of Coldplay, particularly Chris and Gwyneth.
I don't know if you know, but Gwyneth writes all the songs.
The first interesting fact there, that's by the by.
Chris and Gwyneth are both extremely health-conscious individuals, and they follow a strict diet that was specially created for them by Gennaro Contaldo.
He's one of the two greedy Italians.
Breakfast for the family consists of dried plankton on a bed of wotsits, followed by a bowl of flaked bark with rainwater and a glass of bizik to wash it all down.
For lunch, the couple enjoy the Dreams of X Factor contestants.
And the reason they love those is because they're very low in fat.
And then for supper, it's a lollipop.
What was the first one again?
Breakfast.
Well it's what I had this morning, what we had at the hotel.
Plankton on Wotsits.
Dried plankton on a bed of Wotsits.
Are the Wotsits healthy?
yeah they crush them they crush them so they're easier to digest they they're very absorbent so they soak up all the bad bacteria also sometimes depending on your digestive system they repeat on you so you can have them for later gets rid of the bad air exactly did you know the bass player of Coldplay Guy Berryman is made almost entirely
What do you mean?
No, I'm excited.
I'm excited about the next thing.
Of berries?
Of berries.
He's either made of berries or botanical berries.
His head is a watermelon.
His eyes are gooseberries.
His cheeks are strawberries.
His skin is mashed pumpkin, which is also a botanical berry, did you know?
And his julies are made from tomatoes and a banana.
Julies are made from tomatoes and a banana.
He must have to work very hard in the morning to put on the makeup.
It's a bit like Michael Jackson, who had a hole in his nose.
He had to put a plaster on and pour foundation over it.
But that guy has to start out with a face that's an arrangement of tropical fruits.
Listen, they have to pack the guy in ice whenever they travel anywhere.
Do they?
Sure, because they don't want him to go all moldery.
Wow.
Chris and Gwyneth, did you know?
Did you know?
Sorry, I'm still drunk on power.
Have recently been looking for a nanny to take care of their children, apple cheeks, mentos, and fizz whizz.
The nanny would be paid over 65 pounds a week.
Wow.
That's grotesque, isn't it?
Imagine making that kind of money for a nanny.
They have specified, though, that the applicants must have presented T4, must have read and loved the Da Vinci Code, and must have the ability to discreetly turn paparazzi into a delicious low-fat dip.
Also, they must have fought in some kind of fashion war.
Yes.
On the winning side.
Final Glastonbury fact about Coldplay.
Did you know Chris Martin, I'm sure you did know this, he is a vocal activist and a supporter of a number of worthy causes, including the campaign to stop raisins from sinking in cereal boxes, to keep them buoyant throughout the whole, exactly.
You don't want to get to the bottom of the raisin-based cereal and find a glut of raisins there, that's grotesque.
He's also very much involved with the campaign to keep Grazia brilliant, or KGB, as an acronym.
That's just pushing for more exclamation marks.
Yeah, loads of exclamations, more features about either Gwyneth or Jennifer Aniston.
And a more ornate font, and a heavier paper stock, a glossier paper stock.
KGB, keep Grazia brilliant.
He's got it written on his thighs, I think.
And also he's involved very much with the campaign to minimize his own airborne toxic events.
M-A-T-E or mate.
Mate.
Because in the past, Martin's events have caused a great deal of unrest and happiness.
Yes.
And unhappiness.
They had to ground transatlantic flights, didn't they?
That's right, there was a toxic cloud last year, if you remember, that caused a lot of problems for holiday makers.
A lot of queues at airports.
Yeah.
The stench.
So anyway, he's obviously gutted about that and he's battling to stop it ever happening again.
That's Glastonbury Facts for today.
I love that jingle.
That's such a good jingle.
When did you record that jingle?
Oh man, we went into Maida Vale to record it last week.
Great.
With an orchestra.
Cost a lot of money.
A lot, a lot of money.
Right now here's a band that played yesterday on the Park Stage.
This is Caribou with Melody Day.
That was Caribou with a track called Melody Day, which was recorded yesterday on the park stage.
This is Adam and Jo coming to you live from the Glastonbury Festival.
And we've been joined in our portacabin by Sinead Garvin.
How are you doing, Sinead?
I'm very good.
Day two survived.
Good to see you.
Yeah.
And how are you bearing up?
Because you're wandering around there.
It takes ages.
It takes like twice as long as it normally would to traverse the site, doesn't it?
It does.
The mud.
Actually, when I went to bed last night, I still felt like, my legs felt like they were still ploughing through mud.
You know that weird feeling you get?
But yeah, I survived and it was a very good day yesterday.
Lots of highlights.
The park stage was pretty special because we were talking about it yesterday.
Who were the special guests going to be?
And did you know at that stage that it was going to be Radiohead when we were talking to you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, do you know what I did?
People had told me but then, you know, they could have been lying because people have been lying to me all week.
Yeah, it's been a lot of just in your home life and personal relationships.
It's been a bad week.
This isn't the time for that kind of thing.
Well, you know, Ed O'Brien is a friend of the show here.
And he, I texted him the other day, like a week ago when I heard all these rumors.
And I was trying to be cool about it and, and say, you know, hey,
maybe I'll see you down in Glastonbury.
So let me know if you guys play anything or do any sets, I'd love to see you.
Anyway, cool, cool, cool beans, yeah, cool guys.
And I was trying to communicate the fact that I wasn't immediately gonna blab on air about it, because in the past I have slightly put my foot in it with Radiohead secrets.
So I definitely wasn't gonna say anything about it, but I also didn't wanna miss out, right?
And Ed just texted me back, oh yeah, I heard that rumor.
It would be amazing, wouldn't it?
It would be such fun, I'd love it if we were, but no, we're definitely not.
So I thought I were sneaky.
He lied.
He texted me yesterday after the thing and said, sorry, I felt really bad about it.
Can I, can I just boast that I knew first?
Yeah.
Joe said he knew first.
When did I know?
Last Saturday.
How did you know?
I can't tell you Sinead.
Otherwise they'll be executed.
But I thought cornballs knows and I don't know.
And then I didn't get the facts verified.
It was just a string of humiliations.
In the end, I just trudged up there as fast as I could.
It took me 45 minutes.
You were having a crisis of confidence.
He was in our little cabin.
He was going, should I go?
Should I not go?
And you went, which is the right choice.
I went, but I couldn't get close enough to see anything.
Well, you got in though, that's because they shut it off after a while.
I think it's the biggest crowd that's ever been at the park stage.
And then if you know what it's like, it's kind of like flat for a bit and then it goes up on a hill and all of that where the big Glastonbury sign is, all of that was completely like covered.
And there was someone was saying to me that there was a PA from a nearby tent that was a little loud and threatening to drown out.
Well, I got I got relatively close and I could see the stage and there was a strange audio and an anomaly where I was standing where the sound was really very clear.
Yeah, but I was stood right next to a cafe that was playing blaring house music and they didn't turn it down.
Yeah, but it was a good set presumably was it was yes Well, I got right into the crowd to sort of you know Do a little live from there and I was given a security card to help me get through which was quite exciting So yeah, I got quite a fun run and what was lovely was just how happy they all looked on stage and they started off with latest flower which is obviously the one of the tracks from the new album and I think they were kind of like
what are people going to think of it, but we need to do this.
It's the first time they've ever played any of these tracks live.
And the response was fantastic.
It was really good, you know, up especially where I was.
I think people were just very excited that they were that close to them.
And he was smiling the whole way through Thom Yorke and, you know, laughing with a crowd and, you know, chatting to the guys up on the hill on the side and everything.
So it was just, it was really lovely.
And was it hits or was it some weird stuff?
It wasn't.
They played most of King of Limbs interspersed with a few things.
They finished with Street Spirit, which was fantastic, and kind of was what people were waiting for, some of the bigger numbers, because it was raining at that point, and it's 8 o'clock at night, people were cold, the mud was getting horrendous at that point.
So I think some people were a little bit disappointed that there weren't more kind of crowd pleasers, if you like, but it was still fantastic.
But I did hear, I couldn't see where I was, but I did hear that
sort of three quarters way through people started to sort of drift off and leave and maybe to go and get their spot for I don't know you two or something yeah and but yeah and then I spoke to quite a lot of the crowd afterwards and yeah it was kind of mixed it was like yeah amazing to be that close to Radiohead but we needed a few more of the bigger numbers but still how special is that you're never gonna you know absolutely such a small stage again
Sinead, let's play some music right now and then perhaps can we come back and talk to you about U2?
Yes, why not?
Excellent.
So we've got some big audio Dynamite right now and they were playing yesterday on the Park stage.
Did you see them, incidentally?
I did see a couple of their tracks.
That's fantastic.
How great is Mick Jones?
He's still going.
Still fantastic.
Loving it.
More energy than some of the kids on there.
Well, this is V13 from yesterday.
Big Audio Dynamite back with the original line up touring around the UK this summer if you missed them at Glastonbury.
But we're here with Sinead Garvin.
How are you doing Sinead?
Good, good.
Yes.
And you two were the big headliners yesterday.
Yes.
So we talked about it a bit yesterday, the potential controversy of the protesters.
That's right.
Yeah, there wasn't much of that around.
Well, there was a balloon, there was a giant sausage-shaped balloon.
It got pushed away quite quickly.
Some security men came in and hoiked it down.
Did it say anything on the sausage?
It said what they wanted to say, you know about taxes and that.
And it seemed to be behind a weird bit of wall.
It's like there was one segment of wall, maybe they were using it to seal the balloon.
They inflated it, it very quickly got pulled down by security folks.
There was a minor scuffle I think, but mainly the audience seemed to be cheering for it being taken down.
Maybe it was obstructing people's view.
I think so, yes.
But it was quite a pro bono.
Pro bono, that's a nice phrase.
There was kind of that weird sort of like the crowd didn't know whether they should be really enjoying it and Bono and that didn't really know whether the crowd were and then they kind of got really got into it I think.
The only complaint I heard was from people just at the end they were doing that the great version of With or Without You and that was a big moment and then they carried on and did a couple of other songs that people didn't really know very well and then that was the end of the set.
Ah typical, rip off Britain.
Yeah but anyway well this was Bono just as he came off stage
Yeah, I'm a convert.
I came as a pilgrim, now I'm a believer.
The incredible generosity of spirit, it's contagious.
And you know, there's this thing with music or art or whatever you want to call it, you know, suspension of disbelief is the pretentious word, but you have to give yourself.
These people give themselves to the music and they gave us a chance.
And we haven't played to people who are not our audience for a very long time.
So it was it was just overwhelming for our band, absolutely overwhelmed.
Do you think he speaks like that when he's just talking about cereal and stuff as well, like in the morning?
Yeah.
Oh, the incredible suspension of cereal that you get in the milk is just so moving and you have to give yourself to it 100 percent.
Otherwise you don't get the benefit of the
I mean, I'm a I'm a I'm a Frosty's pilgrim, but I've never experienced the level of sugariness that you get on those wonderful flakes.
Yeah, I think he does.
Yeah.
Okay, just checking.
Just checking there.
And that was you too.
Yeah.
Because you would have to be quite a hardcore fan to be standing in that rain yesterday.
Especially after Mozza did a little bit of a grumpy set.
Like he started off full of beans and then and then started getting a bit grumpy.
So I just want to see you too, do you?
Yeah, I think he felt a little bit like, ugh.
Plus he was up against Radiohead at the time, wasn't he?
Well, exactly, and I don't think he got as big an audience as he perhaps would have had Radiohead not been playing, so that maybe was a little bit frustrating for him.
But shall we look ahead to today?
Let's, let's.
So we've got, okay, just a couple of things to tell you about.
Treetop Flies, these are the young guys who won the Glastonbury Emerging competition.
Oh yeah.
They're going to be on the other stage in about 20 minutes, half an hour.
And I've been following them for the last couple of weeks, their sort of preparations to their first big Glastonbury.
So they're definitely worth having a little look at, if anyone can.
What sort of thing are they, Sinead?
What sort of noises?
They're kind of like little folk acts.
They've got this five of them, four on guitar, one on drums.
And yeah, they're quite folky.
They're lovely.
A little bit Fleet Foxes, maybe.
Right.
Just, they're good though.
Definitely worth them.
Are they those monkeys that jump between treetops?
They are, yes, yes.
And they can sing.
So you're dropping quite a massive bomb on us there.
These are four monkeys who can sing, and they can jump from tree to tree.
That's worth seeing.
That is worth seeing.
That's going to be fascinating following their preparations.
And they can play guitars.
That is incredible.
It's been great for me.
Elbow, of course, are on today before Coldplay, who are the big headliners tonight.
Have you heard of Janelle Monae?
Of course.
Oh Lucy is a big fan of her, right Lucy?
I've seen her before, that's brilliant.
Her concept album about being a robot from the future.
Who doesn't want to see that?
Listen, that's my heart pounding with excitement.
I was going to say exactly the same thing.
It's pointless being two of us really.
I'm going to be up at the park stage again all day today.
Wild Beasts are headlining up there.
Excellent.
And we've got Tame Impala on that stage, that's great.
I love Wild Beasts, I'm looking forward to making all the animal noises when they're playing.
love it and finally of course we have another special guest today on the park stage as if the excitement of yesterday hasn't been enough to keep us all going today so obviously it's not Radiohead again well we don't think it is maybe Tommy York will come again on his own I don't know and but the other rumors are again could it possibly be the Kings of Leon maybe right pulps another one in the mix I'm hoping that Matt Everett's gonna get menswear back together
Well yeah, he hasn't been at the computer doing any work.
I saw him in a room privately on his own.
Doing his hair, yeah.
I've got my fingers crossed for Bros.
Come on Bros!
Your time is now!
Or the other thing it could be, Beyonce is apparently here all weekend so maybe she'll be getting the other members of Destiny's Child back together.
Come on, that would be amazing.
That could be it.
So, I mean, you can't go wrong there.
And that mystery guest will be on... 7.45 and will be coming down, coming live from there at 7.45.
Fantastic.
Very exciting.
So you can find out who it is then.
Sinead, you're going to join us again tomorrow, right?
I am indeed.
Fantastic news gathering.
Well done, Sinead.
Thank you.
Good job.
Take care out there.
And right now, just in case we get to see them later on, you never know, here's Pulp with Sorted Freezing Wings.
A lot of people seem to have left an important part of their brains somewhere in a field in Hampshire.
It's a chilling ending to that song.
Terrifying.
It's amazing, yeah.
That was Pulp, of course, and we are going to be speaking to Jarvis Six Music's very own Jarvis Cocker slash lead singer of Pulp.
I mean, that guy must be having the time of his life, don't you think?
I think so.
living a wonderful double life on the one hand the urbane and superb host of his Sunday service on the other hand hip-swinging rock star loved and adored by millions and maybe who knows a guest here at Glastonbury but perhaps we can pry him for info later on when we meet him
by her surname.
Very matey wasn't it?
Very matey.
And of course Kerrison Sean Keaveney will be up later with live music from the Crystal Castles.
And then Le Mac will be back at them going.
Actually Steve might be in the shack over there.
It's too late for that mate.
I've been doing it for three years now.
He's a robust individual.
So yes, stay tuned for all that.
We're going to play some Cee Lo Green in a second and after that you will hear what happened when we met lead singer of the Fleet Foxes, Robin Pecknold, asked him about the Stevenage phenomenon and quizzed him on his Mountain Man credentials.
That's coming up after Cee Lo.
Hello, listeners.
We are here backstage at the other stage, and we are very excited to be joined by Mr. Robin Pecknold, the lead singer of the Fleet Foxes.
Hello, Robin.
How's it going, man?
It's going well.
We're very excited to meet you.
We play your music a lot on our show.
We're huge fans.
And we should start with a serious topic.
OK.
Because we feel responsible for a certain amount of verbal vandalism that has happened at your shows for the last
three years?
So, I mean, and I'm of course talking to you about the Steven phenomenon.
Can I call it a phenomenon?
Is that self-aggrandizing?
It's an absolutely massive phenomenon that swept the world three years ago.
It started as a kind of call and response on our program.
You could shout Steven to anyone in the street and if they said, just coming,
then you would know that they were fans of this program, the Adam and Joe program on 6music.
But then it started getting shouted out at gigs and I think the first time I was aware of that happening was Fleet Fox's fans texting us and saying, hey there was a bit of Stevenage at the gig the other day, maybe at the Roundhouse three years ago?
I'm sure, yeah.
Were you aware of that happening?
Is that a little confusing, first of all, when people start shouting things that you don't quite understand in the audience?
Maybe you think that they're heckling you in some way.
Well, the first time it happened, it just sounded like somebody was looking for Steven.
And then, subsequently,
Yeah, it was obviously some form of meme that we weren't totally aware of.
You weren't privy to.
Yeah.
But it also sounds a little bit like Freebird.
Freebird!
Yeah.
Do you ever play that?
No.
We should apologize though, Robin.
We're sorry.
On behalf of our listeners, we're sorry.
I mean, we're 50% sorry.
Well, let's say 51% or 2% sorry and 48% or 9% excited that we've somehow... We're like sort of... Infiltrated.
Yeah, petulant children throwing rocks at an adult, you know?
We just wanted to have some effect.
We're excited that we've had some sort of impact on a band we love.
It's better than indiscriminate shouting, you know, of any variety.
And it happens to me on the street now, too, just like, Stephen!
No.
Thank God for that.
No, but I do feel a sense of responsibility, and part of me feels ashamed.
for the behavior of our listeners.
Some of me feels ashamed for our show in general.
It's good because we'll tune a little bit between songs sometimes, so the wheels aren't totally greased at our shows all the time.
So I think that state of silence makes people nervous, and then they want to say something.
So it's better to have it fall back on the Steven thing than have it be like, you guys suck, or like, you know.
We're launching the You Guys Suck meme next year, so you can look forward to that.
I am absolutely unequivocally delighted that we've invaded your mind space.
I do think though that Stevenage is probably quite respectful.
I bet they don't ruin the quiet parts of your songs with it though, do they?
No.
No, that would be insane.
Yeah, good.
Well, I'm absolutely happy about it and thanks for being so nice about it.
Would you like, Robin, would you like it to stop?
No.
Really, because we can stop it.
Oh, you can?
You have control?
We think we can.
Our listeners are very good people.
Do you think it's universally your listeners, or has it passed into a... No, I think it's universally our listeners.
It's localized.
Well, that's good to know, because then it's like...
It's not going to get out of hand.
Yeah.
Well, if it gets out of hand, just let us know and we'll stop it.
We can have listeners punished.
You know, the BBC is a national organization.
We can have listeners imprisoned.
Yeah.
Or so just let us know if that would help.
Yeah.
Also, we can send out a very high frequency on the radio show, which shuts that part of their brain down completely.
They don't realize that yet, but we have that power.
So it's all doable.
So, Robin, let's talk a little bit about where we are right now.
We're in what appears to be a kind of exhibition conference center that they've erected behind the other stage here at Glastonbury.
Is this typical of the kind of backstage area that you find at festivals?
Yes, it's very just sort of a something that's been constructed in the last 48 hours.
It's very much like one of the offices from the film Brazil.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Is that what the rock world is like now, do you think?
Or do you ever find yourself backstage in places that are bedecked with Indian, you know, wall hangings and... Well, at Primavera Festival it was the same kind of thing, but it was like these beautiful Spanish hardwood floors.
You know, like reclaimed wood or something.
So that was different.
But it's never like a...
pleasure down and also you know it seems particularly incongruous for you a member of the fleet foxes who for many people live in their imagination as sort of mountain men snowed in 365 days of the year their beards intertwined as they harmonize with each other around the log fire cooking up you know catfish on a skillet.
Now you're just reading from our bio.
And is that a world that is in any way reflective of how you grew up at all, or is it a complete world of mythology that you spun?
I feel like there's an element of our appearance implies something.
you know.
And aside from like some lyrical content obviously that's like you know naturalistic, a lot of it to me is just like personal stories.
I mean obviously we didn't grow up together and I mean Sky and I grew up together but you know we weren't like raised by wolves or anything but I don't necessarily think the music is, I think there's like enough other
content like personal content there that especially on this one like I feel like all of it is just like my own thoughts on stuff and it's not like you know necessarily trying to present something you know other than that very little of it deals with actually catching beavers and muskrats yeah only 25% yeah
And do you think there will ever come a time where you experiment with a radically different lyrical palette?
I've got some very exciting ideas for how you could reach a whole new audience with the same kind of lovely tunes and your beautiful harmonizing.
Yeah, Steven.
You can have some Stevenage in there.
But I've got some great ideas.
Adam's just unfolding his piece of paper, and Robin, I should preface this by saying Adam's a sensitive man.
So I need to be receptive.
Well, he's been working on this for a while, so please treat him gently.
Any flippancy is not, you know, it's very gentle, he's very gentle.
I don't know what I'm saying, I'm just filling.
Here we go.
Good feeling, Phil.
We wondered what would happen if you put lots of modern references into the Fleet Foxes material, you know?
So the Under-Fifteens connected, you know what I mean?
Because this is what it's all about now.
Chris Brown, Lady Gaga, yes.
Lyrics that can be exactly put in texts.
Maybe more acronyms.
Okay.
Okay, here we go.
I've got an amazing singing voice, by the way.
What might happen is you might hear me singing this and get quite intimidated and your confidence will be shaken a little bit.
Because you'll realize there's someone out there who can do this a little bit better than I can and he's also got a beard and maybe I'm a bit of a fraud.
So don't worry if you feel that.
So this is a slightly more modern version of He Doesn't Know Why.
Will you be playing that song tonight?
No, maybe.
You may want to after you hear this.
I was writing tweets on my iPad too When I saw I got a new text message from you Have you heard the new Lady Gaga tune?
Gonna Spotify it later
OMG I can't believe this amazing app It takes everything you say and turns it into rap I really love my new DS but the 3D's crap I play it on my skateboard And then you do the beautiful modern harmonic wobbling after that
Yeah?
Is that working?
Does anyone write songs like that?
Have you ever heard a song like that?
Of all the rapping young rappers do.
All the young rappers do?
The young rapping rappers do.
I don't think I've ever heard a song.
Even the newest Lady Gaga song.
Or the newest Justin Bieber, I don't think.
Justin Bieber, maybe not, but he's disconnected from the real world.
But it's a gap in the market.
We should listen.
If you do decide to do that song, Robin, we'd like to give you these lyrics.
And, you know, in no way are we expecting you to actually sing them.
No, because he's intimidated you see as I sang it too well Well, I think we're gonna let you go now, okay now that we've tortured you enough Do we have anything else we need to ask?
No, nothing else to say just that we love you and your music and thank you for talking to us Yeah, and you know on behalf of everyone who listens to our show.
Thanks for being so lovely about the Stevenage.
Oh, it's just part of It's part of the fabric of our lives
Well, we apologize for that stinky bit of fabric.
But thanks for talking to us.
Have a good show tonight, man.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Take care.
Blue foxes playing live yesterday at Glastonbury 2011.
They were on the other stage.
That was called Blue Ridge Mountains.
What a lovely chap he was.
Very nice.
Much younger than you would expect because they do sound like ancient mountain men.
You expect them to, and also they sound wise, you know, there's wisdom in those voices.
Yeah.
and he's very young and it made me feel like even more of a berk singing that song to him you did very well i liked it when we asked him whether he was gonna sing those lyrics and there was a long pause it wasn't that long no no no
I had this fantasy that he might have a guitar in his dressing room and he would play the song and then just sing the lyrics that I'd written.
I don't know what I was thinking, but it didn't happen.
But we can still dream.
Yeah, of course.
Hey, how you doing, listeners?
Very nice to be here with you.
We're almost at the end of our show, but we still got half an hour of fun coming your way.
Don't forget, if you do want to email or actually text would be the thing, wouldn't it?
The number is 64046.
and you can always email if you want to adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk or maybe send messages to each other on Twitter at BBC Adam and Joe.
You know what we'd love if you were there at the beginning of the show and part of Black Squadron and took a photo of the event we'd love you to email that adamandjoe.sixmusicatbbc.co.uk and maybe in place of the Black Squadron command blog this week we will have your photos from the live Black Squadron event happening are happening.
Yeah, I mean, if you're gonna listen to the show tomorrow, we'll figure out some kind of command for the squadrons at home as well.
A Sunday morning command?
I think we should, yeah.
Because it's gonna be our last squadron command for quite some time.
Okay.
Anyway, it's gone 12.30 now and time for the news.
You too!
They were headlining the pyramid stage yesterday at Glastonbury and that was I Will Follow.
The thing about the exhortations of Bonio and many other singers when they reach a certain age is that whereas once they sounded like cries of youth and excitement and energy, now it sounds like they're sort of running out of breath reaching for the coffee in the cupboard.
He was doing a good job.
They all look quite youthful.
He was moving around the place.
I didn't even see them.
Was he wearing crazy glasses or anything?
Was he wearing...
I can't remember.
He was wearing his little exciting leather motorbike man outfit.
And he was bopping around.
At one stage, he appeared to be making sort of lovemaking gestures towards the audience.
Was he?
At another stage, he fought Edge's guitar like he was a bull.
He put his fingers up either side of his head and sort of charged the guitar.
But he looked pretty nimble.
The only one giveaway to the fact that he was getting old was someone had let the air out of his buttocks.
They were a little bit sort of Michael... What's that Michael Douglas film where you get a shocking sort of shot of his bum?
Oh, um... With a couple of hot water bottles?
Yes, the Sharon Stone one.
Yeah.
Is that a basic instinct?
Yeah, there you go.
It was a tiny bit like that, but other than that, that was just because he was wearing very tight leather.
Yeah.
And there weren't many, you know... I think it'd be good if he had one of those little tiny mini motorcycles that... A mini moto?
Yeah, and just rode around that with his... That would be good!
...with his leather chap sticking out the side there.
Yeah, that would be good.
It would be good, you're looking confused, but it would be good!
No, his what sticking out the what?
His leather chap sticking out the side.
Right, yeah.
He's chapped.
And he would charge at the edge like that.
I mean, it's not dignified behaviour, I was going to say, but then I thought, coming from us, that would be the pot calling the kettle back.
And that takes us in to Eggcorns!
Somebody's been ear-dropping on me, and now I'm suffering their strings and arrows, can't you see?
I was standing on the curve like a jester of goodwill, but now I'm curled up in the feeble position still, cause of my Eggcorns.
When it comes to Eggorn business I'm like Farmer Heck in Christmas The Pop will call the Kettle back Cause it's an Eggorn attack
And now, here at the Adam and Jo Show and Six Music, we love language, we love words, don't we Adam?
Yeah, mainly juveniles, musty words.
Yeah, and also wrong ones, things that people get wrong.
We like to call them eggcorns, and here are some eggcorns.
I mean, we didn't christen them eggcorns.
Yeah, but I'm making it sound like we did.
Okay, good one.
Have you got one?
Yeah, here's one from Ian Roth.
He's an Englishman living in Australia, mate.
Mate, we got a lot of Aussie listeners.
I tell you, we should go... If someone is listening out there in Oz and you're a rich person, fly us out, bruv.
We'll go out there and do a show for you, no problem.
We would blend in perfectly.
We would totally blend in, mate.
Mate...
It's almost as if we pick the Australian ones just to give an excuse to do the amazing accents.
I know I do.
So Ian Roth, he's an Englishman though living in Australia, he says, hi Ads and J-Pod.
Great egg corn from my female colleague at work today during a rant about one of her Facebook friends who has slightly non-PC views of the world.
She said in a rather exasperated manner, God, her stupid status updates really ruffle my goat.
Love you, bye!
Get my goat, ruffle my feathers.
Right, exactly.
Ruffle my goat.
Maybe he has a little goat on a string who is very sensitive to linguistic errors.
And a goat would hate to be ruffled, I think.
Goats hate it.
They hate, like, cats who hate being stroked in the wrong direction.
Ooh, yeah.
Imagine.
And their goat would be twice as bad, because even though a good thing to do with a cat is stroke it in the wrong direction quite a lot, get it quite angry, and then do one big one the right way.
And they'd go, ugh.
And calm it right down.
Ooh.
Ow.
Thanks.
They love it.
Here's one from Gregory, which is spelt G-R-E-G-G-R-Y.
Gregory.
Gregory P. Savage.
He says, dearest Signorina Buxton and Mademoiselle Jojo.
I used to work for a local authorities debt recovery department and one of my colleagues, an elder lady who had the look of a miniature Patricia Rutledge and the voice of the Queen, not yours, Adam, not not yours, Adam, once came out with a cracking egg corn.
She was on the phone talking to a debtor who'd been making sporadic payments towards his arrears.
The problem is, Mr. Smith, she said in her cut glass, imperious voice, you've been big.
Hello.
I did one there.
You've been making your payments very, very erotically.
My colleagues and I promptly fell off our chairs and laughed solidly for 11 and a half minutes.
Hope you use this.
Love you.
Bye.
We did.
How would you make an erotic payment?
Don't answer that question.
Move on to the next one.
Oh, there's so much you could say about slots and cards and fun.
Things like that.
Asher, he's a mailman, 32, from London, says, hi, Adman and Josephus.
Just got an email from a teacher who states that they're just, quote, creating a school blog where VoxPox can be added.
Which puts me in mind of little pustules spouting opinions.
So, on reflection, maybe that works as intended.
Love you, bye, Asher!
Like how to get ahead in advertising.
He's got some pox that have voxes, doesn't he, in that film?
Here's one from Peter Brooks in Tunbridge Wells.
Dear Adam Buxton and Joe Cornish.
Brackets, I'm traditional and I like it.
I like it.
On the subject of egg corns, a friend was describing his battle with a British-based telecoms company and their flimsy-flopsy service.
When describing how they had legally broken their own terms and conditions, he remarked, they stabbed themselves in the back.
cue much humour between ourselves before we corrected him.
That's not too bad is it?
Shoot yourself in the foot, stab someone else in the back.
Yeah.
Stabbing yourself in the back.
That's quite a good concept to stab yourself in the back.
Yeah.
But that would imply that you were betraying yourself.
Yeah.
That's good, that's deep that one Peter.
I mean it's not necessarily funny it's just a thinking point.
Well that sums up this show in a...
In a nutshell.
Something to think about.
Not necessarily funny.
Something to think about.
Here's one more from me, and this one is not even necessarily an eggcorn, but it made me chuckle.
Hi, Adam S and Corn King.
This is not a true eggcorn, just an odd thing my boss used to say.
Says... Joe, a mailman.
And Joe says, when working in a gift-type shop in Brighton, my boss would always use the word syndrome at the end of a sentence.
For example, sorry I'm late, the washing machine broke and flooded the kitchen floor.
Syndrome.
I can't believe how rude that last customer was.
Syndrome.
I started counting how many times she would use the phrase in a day.
I once counted 25 occurrences.
It got annoying and I had to get a new job.
To this day, I cannot work out why she said it and where she got it from.
It makes no sense to me.
Syndrome.
So it's a she, but she talks like that.
Yeah, I'm imagining, like, quite a big, chunky, fusty woman.
She's going around just adding syndrome to the end of each sentence.
That could catch on.
Let's hope it doesn't.
Come on, syndrome!
That's it for me for eggcorns.
That's it for me for eggcorns as well, I think.
All right, eggcorns, let's play some music now.
This is Little Dragon.
They were playing the West Holtz stage yesterday.
I like Little Dragon a lot.
They were one of my picks for the festival this year.
They've got unusual hair.
I mean, look at their red dragon.
They've got a great video for one of their singles where they wear little green lights on their heads and they're shot silhouetted and I watched it for reference for my film.
That's a fun fact for film fans that.
This is Little Dragon.
jenny and johnny they were playing yesterday on the park stage jenny is of course jenny lewis of rilow kylie i want whenever anyone's called jenny i i love to say it with the ch jenny like a kind of a german jenny yes jenny that's nice uh rilow kylie are one of those bands that pop up a lot on bob dylan's theme time radio hour he's clearly in love with that um with jenny she's a nice bit of rock tortoise more so yes she's lovely crisp fresh
Well, that's pretty much it for our show today from Glastonbury ladies and gentlemen, and it's been really fun We're gonna go back out there now and hook up with the squadrons.
Yeah, if there might nobody know well There's actually a band playing now So the squadron might not be able to find us but they might we're gonna record our in-and-out links for the podcast out there amongst
the uh squadron hopefully if anybody turns up but thank you so much for listening today listeners and and massive thank you to everybody in the squadron who was here at Glastonbury who turned up for our event at the beginning of the show yeah it's gonna be fun uh we uh what are we gonna do the rest of the afternoon we're gonna talk to Jarvis we're gonna hook up with the wild beasts we're gonna go for a wander we're gonna collect some mystery glass Glastonbury sounds
I'm gonna, I'm on a sushi mission.
I'm gonna try and locate some sushi.
You might have to go further than you've ever gone before in rougher conditions than you've ever endured before.
You know, it's not ideal sushi territory, but I'm convinced there's some sushi out there to be snaffled by buckles.
I'm gonna try that.
Little worried about the, the laves out there.
I mean, you would think that the laves would be in a terrible state.
Even the BBC lave has suffered some kind of flood and the blue loo water that they use, the special disinfectant water is- Blue loo water, that's a new shopping center they're building.
It's now all over the the the porta cabin floor for the land of your lose I do love it's not too bad because it smells nice.
It's a little bit as if there's been a fight between the Na'vi people are right on that are let blue blood they've bled all over the left and
yes the navi and the larvae yes well that's what uh blue loo water the shopping center is for it's mainly for navi navi immigrants who've come to britain it's not good though to have a segregated shopping center like that just sells very specific stuff a lot of unobtainium uh yeah
Spears and like, uh, Riz back.
Talk more about it.
I can't, I can't, I can't.
Oh, what we got coming up on six music though?
All sorts of exciting things coming up on six music.
For instance, directly after us, you will have the pleasure of listening to Steve LaMack, who is here with Elbow and Badly Drawn Boy, Lauren Lavone coming up at two with Big Boy.
Stuart McConie is here from five with live music from Big Audio Dynamite and Graham Cox and Keris Matthews and Sean Keveny, Keveny?
Keveny here with live music from Crystal Castles.
Hey, we bumped into, uh, Professor Brian Cox this morning.
We did.
and uh imagine if coxswain and cox got together and there would be a kind of amazing supernova of rock and science i met him at a party i told did i say that on air i met him at a party he was a little bit tooty a tiny bit drunk and then i said hello to him this morning hoping he would remember me i don't think he got nothing
I got blanked because he was out of his... he was in the Booze universe.
Yeah, he was out there floating around in space.
If he had met me at that party, he would have remembered.
Of course he would.
Yeah, he absolutely loves me.
Not so much you.
Now we're going to play you out, folks, with one of the big acts from yesterday's Glastonbury lineup, and that's Morrissey, of course.
And he is looking increasingly like someone's handsome father.
yeah and i mean that in the nicest possible way uh he entertained the crowd with a number of smiths hits as well as his own uh big smashes and here is a big morrissey smash it's irish blood english heart live recorded yesterday live not live now from the pyramids stage oh man good time to end the show thanks for listening everybody we'll be back at the same time tomorrow broken 10 a.m live from glastonbury please tune in take care