We've got jams and kicks and break a brat and smash the rat.
There's also a chance to wonder mind society's rules.
Boring all fools.
Whoa-oh-oh-oh!
Sometimes festival performances just come down to the basic melody don't they?
What is the basic melody that you can get the audience to?
That's one of the classics.
Yeah, who's that Shed 7?
No, that is Modern Romance.
Modern Romance, not Shack Attack.
Hey listeners, how you doing?
It's Adam and Joe here.
That was Coldplay.
They were headlining the Pyramid Stage yesterday here at the Glastonbury Festival, which is where we are, 2011.
Lucy is one of the lovely people that works on our show here and she is a massive Coldplay fan, aren't you Lucy?
I am, yes.
Now Lucy, we don't normally speak to other humans, except for very special occasions on this programme, so for goodness sake, don't mess this up, alright?
This is your big chance, this is a massive chance for you.
I know it's frightening to be on the radio, on this show as well, because we're intimidating presenters.
Very intimidating.
But just try your best to stay cool, don't get freaked out by buckles.
Your breathing is already going a little weird there.
Try and keep that under control because the listeners can hear fear and they don't like it.
If they hear it, they get very angry and they start throwing the radio around and beating each other and we don't want to do that to them.
So Coldplay, you had a lovely time watching them last night, right?
Yeah, I did.
I've loved them since the start.
since parachutes was lots of people think that I think yeah and I've maintained that love for them over the years and I think some people maybe become a bit aware that they've become very big and a little I don't know have come a bit more commercial because you're someone with very Catholic taste musically you like all kinds of different stuff
Traditional I'm a traditional sometimes.
Yeah, but you're not your taste is not middle-of-the-road is what I'm trying to say Yeah, no.
No, I'm a big 16 of C. Yeah So how does it feel do you get a little bit defensive when you're in an atmosphere?
That is sometimes a little bit bitey for the mighty Coldplay.
Yeah a little bit I am I was a little aware that going to see it was perhaps a little controversial in terms of my musical choices Yeah, but I wasn't
I like that they're not controversial in any political way or important way.
The massive controversy is just quality based.
Often happens with bands when they become really popular.
Some people just decide they're not like they used to be.
It was weird.
There was that feeling about you too as well.
There was a feeling of that they had something to prove.
Yeah it's almost as if per se by going on the pyramid stage if you're not a new band that's in the first throw of hugeness you've got somehow to defend yourself or to prove that you are still in touch with the people because Glastonbury's, I like to call it the people's festival.
Do you?
That's a very good... Yeah that's a new phrase just to put the word people in front of things.
Sorry Lucy I was talking there.
What were you saying?
There was a little bit of apologising for him on stage actually.
You were apologising for doing new stuff.
It's the British way.
In Britain you have to apologise.
If you're successful you have to apologise.
Do you know what I mean?
It's wrong to stick your head over the parapet in Britain.
Well because you want to have your cake and eat it don't you?
You want to be massive but also say hey I'm still one of... I mean I personally would love to have my cake and... You like regurgitating your cake.
And then eat it again.
I like to eat it as many times as I possibly can.
Like a multiple stomached cow.
That's my thing.
But I don't see Beyonce going up there and doing any apologising tonight for her various commercial endorsements.
No, because she's not British.
No, exactly.
She's going to put on a great show, do her thing and everyone's going to adore her.
Yeah, she was there.
Was she there?
Jumping around?
Watching From the Wings with Jay-Z, I hear.
I hear, yeah.
He's probably fishing for samples.
She was singing along to that one as well.
Good work.
Thanks Lucy, lovely to talk to you.
And to you.
Good morning listeners.
Yeah, good morning.
How are you doing?
Now listen, we should stay on the squadron to attention for the very last time here at the festival, and indeed for myself and Joe for quite some time.
So here's the squadron command.
Black squadron!
Always catch the beginning of the show.
Black squadron don't want to miss a thing.
That's not the way.
Black squadron roll.
Went to bed at a reasonable hour Gotta be sharp on Saturday morning That's the secret of the Squadron's power
So this is the squadron's last command for a little while.
Isn't that correct?
Yeah, that's right.
So squadron, you didn't really have a command at home yesterday.
Some of them might have felt a bit left out.
Might have done, but we were mobbed by live squadron members here at the festival.
That was very enjoyable.
And this is unusual to have a command on a Sunday morning.
It is.
Maybe sacrilegious for some squadron members.
The Lord's Day, but we're not doing anything specifically Satan-based today, so you don't have to worry.
No.
And once again we should remind you, if you are by any chance a new listener, then the Black Squadron are the listenership who listen live in the first half hour of the show.
They're dedicated in that way.
very dedicated and none of this stuff appears in the podcast or in the podcast.
Well you never know I mean sometimes it might creep a little bit in there but it's usually a secret society, it's usually a secret enclave.
We're going to give you a give you a word or a couple of words they constitute the command then we'd ask you to take a photo of yourself interpreting
those that word or those words and send it to 64046 by text or by email to adamandjoe.sixmusic at pbc.co.uk and by sending your image to us you implicitly give us permission to plaster it all over london on huge billboards yeah you may be you know maybe used to endorse all kinds of commercial products that perhaps you don't agree with new controversial government programs
Yeah, that kind of thing.
Also, you know, nuclear weapons testing, that sort of thing might be a big banner for that.
So be prepared for all that.
After Joe, Commander Cornish, issues the command, we will be playing you some music from Sleigh Bells.
And I think it's time now for Cornballs to take over and talk to the squadron.
It is.
It's quite a broad command squadron.
So be creative in the way you interpret it.
But your command this morning is summer holiday.
Crikey O'Reilly, some very loud sub-base has started vibrating our BBC portacab in here behind the pyramid stage at Glastonbury.
It's a bit early, isn't it?
It's 10.15.
It's terribly early.
10.15 on a Sunday morning, for goodness sake.
Have you got the door open?
Listen to that, listeners.
The galley door's open now, isn't it?
Will you keep it down?
We're trying to do a payback!
That was disgusting.
I'm going to throw several copies of the mail on Sunday at their heads.
See if that takes them out.
Jam that into their jam boxes.
But you know what?
It's looking nice out there.
I mean, I think Britain is being bathed in sunshine this morning.
It's beautiful out there.
It's beautiful.
Oh my God, it's full of stars.
It's so beautiful.
And it's had a good effect on the mud.
It's drying up and it looks very nice out there, even though it looks a little like a bombsy tit.
That's an absolute bombsy tit.
And the mud piles are giant and also the rubbish piles.
We should say hi to all the rubbish guys out there.
And I'm not just talking about the low-quality people.
I'm just talking about the people who are clearing up the site constantly.
You love the little guy, don't you, Ad?
Absolutely.
I feel like... I've noticed that about you.
You're a big man, you're an important man, but yet you still stay in touch with the... No, carry on.
...with the little man.
That's what I love about you.
Big society little man.
So I want to say hi to all the guys that really make this festival work.
I'm not talking about Chris Martins and the answers.
I'm talking about the guys out there on the roads.
Your guys?
Your guys in your jackets and you're keeping the roads safe.
You're saying hi and making sure that people don't step in front of oncoming tour buses.
You're going around collecting your litter and putting it in your recycling bags.
Okay, shut up.
Hey, I'm finished with the little guy.
Thanks a lot, Black Squadron, for responding so brilliantly to our command of summer holiday.
We're of course going off on a summer holiday, and it's sort of the official start of everyone's summer holidays very soon, isn't it?
If it isn't, I've decided that it is.
So it's time to get in the mood.
We already have a fantastic photo here from Lalli in Northern Ireland.
She has slathered her face in sun cream.
and she's got a parasol and she's got heart-shaped sunglasses.
Is it suncream?
It might just be cottage cheese for all we know.
I think it's probably splottage cheese.
Here is a photo from Alec from Barrow who has just put a hat on.
Alec, that's not good enough.
He's got a child's sun hat.
I mean, it was fast but low quality.
He looks like Van Morrison circa Astral Weeks on there.
There is someone, who's this?
Gill from Essex.
Gill from Essex has just taken a photo of some shells.
She's taken a picture of some shells.
That's a good idea, that's a good idea.
An anonymous lady has taken a photo of herself in mirrored shades.
It's good, it's good, but it's not going to get you to the upper echelons of the squadron.
But it's the holidays, isn't it?
They're allowed to be a bit lazy.
No one's allowed to do what they want around here.
No, but keep them coming in.
64046.
You can submit your photos until the squadron is standed down.
I've got a sunny free play for you right now, listeners.
This is from 1969.
That's the year that Dr. Buckles was born.
Very important year.
What a year.
Yeah, amazing year.
And nothing else really significant happened that year apart from the release of the album Mendocino or Mendocino by the Sir Douglas Quintet, Doug Sarm.
You might know Doug Som, some of you groovers out there.
He's fantastic.
And this is called Sunday Sunny Mill Valley Groove Day.
Thank you.
That's the kills.
They were playing on the other stage last night here at Glastonbury.
Their latest album Blood Pressures was out in April and one of the people watching their performance yesterday was Kate Moss.
She was standing there and the paparazzo... She was here last year.
...were going nuts.
Ah yes, she's been here all year.
Living nude in the forest.
Just eating berries.
Communicating with rabbits and birds.
Making a...
Yes.
Like Nell.
Like Nell, yeah.
She lived in the tree.
She brushes her teeth with twigs.
She doesn't even do that anymore, does she?
I heard that she brushes her teeth with twiggy.
I think her teeth are twigs now.
Really?
Yeah, she had them replaced with little twig pegs.
The only thing she can't find in the forest are fags.
She has to venture out into the outside world.
Well, she's got her own little tobacco crop.
And she hand-whittles silk-cut packets.
And does the designs.
Oh, yeah and pops them in herself.
She does the little warning and she just said shut up trees When the winds blowing too sharp stop saying that sharp She's very po but she's She's happy now because the festivals come around again and and she's out and I turn a bite.
She's out and about she's wearing a little skirt made of petals and
And she's having a super time, but the paparazzi were overexcited, snapping away at her.
Yesterday, I saw a fellow.
There's a sort of trough that connects the other stage.
It's a long walk, I would say.
How many, like 500 meters or something?
A trough of actual pigs.
Well, it's supposed to be a walkway, but it's turned into a pig's trough.
It's just solid mud.
It's a river of mud.
Yeah, we both walked through it yesterday.
And you have to go very slowly and really be careful.
I had to go along the side and cling onto the fence for fear of falling in, because if you fell in, that would be it.
It would be mudmageddon.
Well, me and James, our producer, saw this... You'd be Glaston buried alive.
Absolutely.
We saw this guy, this big paparazzi guy, go right in.
He just toppled right over and...
His camera just went under the mud and it totally submerged.
Yes, revenge.
It was a shock though and you felt bad for him.
Did he fall face first?
No, on his side.
But he went right in there.
I went over to try and help him pour a bit of water on his camera.
I would have poured a bit of scorn on his camera.
Yeah, you would have done, wouldn't you?
Have washed it down with a big bucket of scorn.
He wasn't very grateful to me though.
I must say like I expected him to be dark He's angry with the world.
He was very angry suck the money out of it Listen, we should say thank you to black squadron who've done a pretty good job I mean, it's tough on a Sunday morning.
So these are the real hardcore squadron is especially Rob.
Oh
who sent us a picture of himself with all the different sunglasses and goggles you need for a holiday, plus a hat all stacked up on each other.
I think if there were a winner, it's non-competitive in the squadron, he would have won.
Yeah, we need to stand down in the squadron before the news.
Here's the jingle.
Stand down, your work is done.
You've earned yourself a nice warm bath and maybe a nice little bun.
and don't forget you can see your pictures on the blog at our website bbc.co.uk forward slash blogs forward slash adam and joe and do keep them coming in it's 10 30 here on six music time for the news
She's a little bit like the queen, isn't she, Bjork?
Vocally.
The indie queen.
She's got a nice way of speaking as well.
A little bit Icelandic and a little bit Cockney.
Yeah, she's got a lovely way of speaking.
Venus is a boy there from Bjork's album debut.
You're listening to Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Don't know if you can tell the listeners, but I'm a little bit absolutely knackered.
How are you feeling at the end of the festival?
I'm feeling all right.
Yeah, I'm feeling good.
Got a few hours sleep last night.
You know, obviously I was dancing in the mud until the small hours, but I'm okay.
You were dancing in the mud.
I mean, you're camping right there, right in the thick of it.
I'm actually staying in a hotel.
What?
Yeah, I've been staying in a hotel in the nearby beautiful city of Wells, home of Hot Fuzz and Edgar Wright.
Wells is the smallest city in the United Kingdom.
because of its wonderful cathedral there.
Oh right the cathedral makes it a city.
That's right it entitles it to city status and my room in the hotel faced out onto the cathedral lovely view of the grounds and lovely view of the grounds and there's a beautiful
Green patch, I think they call it a lawn.
Yes.
Grass, they call it.
They call it grass.
In front of the cathedral there.
And last night I was absolutely delighted because there was a little gang of guys out there.
Your skills.
Having a boozer.
They had some drinking pop and they were smoking old-fashioned New Orleans style cigarettes and they were having a super fun Saturday night.
Were they locals do you think?
I guess they must have been... What kind of age?
I would say early 20s.
That's a fun age.
It's a great, fun, exuberant age.
I woke up like a sort of human cockerel, but at the wrong time and without the roll.
And he went on and on and on.
So I woke up and I thought he's going to stop soon.
He didn't stop.
He went on and on and on.
So then I thought, well, I'll just have to record a little bit to play on the show.
So here he is in action.
This is three in the morning, three in the morning.
Is he reciting something?
I think he was freestyling, sort of declaiming freestyle Shakespeare kind of thing.
Right.
Or something.
Getting in the, you know, he was feeling the atmosphere of the place and getting in the mood.
It really was.
It's quite sophisticated Yobism.
Yeah, it was, wasn't it?
Sort of Shakespearean Yobism, period Yobism.
Maybe it was a ghost.
It was a ghost!
A raucous ghost.
That's what it was.
It was a big raucous drunk ghost.
Yeah, he could be right.
The best type of ghost.
It was very unusual though, because Wells is a quiet place.
I mean, I guess that's why Edgar decided that it would be a good place to do hot fuzz, the idea of everyone shooting each other up in a place like that.
In a peaceful place.
Yeah.
That's terrible.
When did that stop?
It stopped, I would say, around 3.30.
Were you not tempted to go out and tell them to shut themselves up?
Sure I was.
I was waiting for it.
He finally calmed down.
It was one of those things where you key yourself up and you think, he goes on for five minutes more!
I'm going down there in the totally nude and I'm gonna give him all kinds of pieces of my mind!
But luckily, it never happened.
No, it never happened.
So, you know, then I went back to sleep.
Well, you should have come and danced in the mud at Shangri-La.
I had an amazing time.
I was off my face on happiness.
I was slip-sliding around.
The consistency of slime on the dance floor meant I could do some amazing moves.
Yeah.
Tommy Ortt was DJing there last night.
He was.
Tom crashed the plane.
We were having a Wiggles time.
Yeah.
Tom was playing all kind of obscure German electronica, and you were playing the Wiggles again.
You in your hotel.
You should have camped, you square.
Joe didn't.
Let's have some music.
Let's play music.
A lot of controversy here in the studio after Adam's claim.
What was your claim?
Yeah, Wells was the smallest city in the UK.
I mean, you should know by now not to try and... Do any facts.
...float any facts.
No, no, no.
Your fact boats are not seaworthy.
They are absolutely... Neither of our... I mean, both of us were hopeless with facts.
My fact boats are like rustic drugs.
That was Battles, by the way, listeners, that you just heard.
They were playing yesterday in the John Peel tent.
That was a track called Sun Dome.
And, yeah, a couple of messages... Did you see, is that true?
Is any of that true?
I don't know.
I think that's rubbish.
Maybe he's got wobble pants.
I've no idea.
Maybe it was battles.
Maybe it was just some children who'd found some instruments and started stumbling around the stage.
It's impossible to tell anymore.
Yeah, thanks, Stanley.
We've got a message here.
Look, it says, Wells is the smallest city in England, not the UK.
That honor belongs to the Welsh city of St.
David's.
Lots of love, Stanley, aged six.
Sussed by a six-year-old.
In Bristol.
Another message is it's just anonymous and blunt.
St David's in Wales is the smallest city, not Wells.
And I think at the end it's got a...
Thanks very much for that.
OK, so listen, listeners.
Yesterday, me and lovely Lucy went, what can I say, yomping?
Yeah, you can say yomping.
It's more like slumping, isn't it?
Slumping around the sight, around the Glastonbury site, and collected some mystery sounds.
OK, this is a fun game, a fun kind of radio game.
Do you like fun, Adam?
I know the listeners like fun.
I don't need to ask them.
Do you like fun?
I feel as if I'm growing out of it.
Growing out of it.
Well, see if you can remember about fun.
and claw some of it back.
Because it's time to play a fun game of Mystery Glastonbury Sounds.
Are you ready, Producer James?
Here, I'm gonna play you a sound.
Adam, Count Buckles, Buxton, and listeners, you can join in as well.
You have to tell me what you think the sound is.
It's as simple as that.
And are these typical sounds from the festival, or are they very odd sounds that you've gone out?
They're very typical sounds.
Very, very typical.
Here is Sound Mystery Glastonbury Sound number one.
what's that sound tell me what's happening what's that sound is that uh is that someone inflating their codpiece uh that is not with the small members of cameo no and that is not that is not bonio from you two trying to pump up his ancient butox to give them some useful useful um yeah bubble bubble is justness there it is again
What's that sound?
Tell me what's happening.
What's that sound?
Tell me.
Now this, that sound is commonly heard all over the site.
Is it someone trying to extract their boots from a mud clump and the air sucking that goes on there?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Can I have one more listen?
Sure.
This is going to take a while though because we do have five.
It sounds like a bicycle pump.
Hand sanitiser.
It's all over the site.
I absolutely love hand sanitiser.
You do use it all the time, yet you don't recognise the sound.
What does that say about you?
I don't know.
Absolutely nothing.
I'm very shallow.
OK, number two.
Sound number two.
Ready for sound number two, bucculis?
Yeah.
So no points so far.
Here is Glastonbury sound number two.
Make sure you screw it on properly.
Make sure it's tight, nice and tight.
Do you want another event like Glastonbury 2008?
What is that?
What is that sound?
Is that the sexual health counsellor down in the healing field?
After that pregnancy?
Yeah, can we have one more listen?
Make sure you screw it on properly, make sure it's tight, nice and tight, doing another event like Graspy 2008.
that's the key sound the snapping the plastic snap at the end oh i know what that is that's it that's one of the um the great guys in their uh vis jackets putting the band that your entry band no no no no no no no no no wrong wrong wrong wrong what is it then wrong wrong wrong you're delighted that is one of the poo pipe men
The poo pipe men.
That go around with the big trucks and they suck all the stuff out of their bogs.
Right.
And they put them in their lorries and take it away to bog land.
Petey and Paul poo pipe.
And of course the great incident in 2008 was when they connected it up wrong and sprayed it all over everybody.
Oh, did that really happen?
It really happened.
Possibly not in 2008.
Like father Ted.
We guessed that.
Oh my goodness.
There we go.
Okay, so two down.
Not doing very well, Count Bucky Lees.
No.
You shouldn't sleep in the hotel.
You should try and see the festival a bit more.
Can I just... Like me.
Here we go.
Can I just say that I'm rediscovering fun?
You are, aren't you?
This is fun!
This is what it's like to be young!
Number three.
Okay, here we go.
What is this sound?
Sound number three.
Mummy!
Daddy!
Wu-Tang Clan weren't rude enough for me!
I want my money back!
Why didn't they swear more?
That is the sound of a nice middle-class person's young child, who they've dragged along to the festival to instil naughtiness into the child, and the child is absolutely up in arms because everything's a little bit sanitized.
That's correct.
The child was disappointed of not enough swearing and crudity during the Wu-Tang set.
Yeah.
Wu-Tang.
Were you similarly disappointed?
I was very disappointed, yeah.
I watched it on telly in the hotel.
And they dipped the, they dipped the swearing down.
But that was a young chap called Zeke.
So I got one right, yes!
Yeah, you did get one right.
Zeke is the brother of Eden and Wilf.
And they were a very nice family we met.
They were lovely, weren't they?
So a big shout out to them.
And yeah, that was Zeke getting annoyed about the lack of swearing.
Kids like a lot of heavy swearing.
I mean, they're in new order to that sort of thing now.
So you really need to lay it on thick to shock a child.
But the thing is- Shock a child, shock a child.
Shock a child, shock a child.
The thing is that they like a certain type of swearing, don't they?
I mean, a child's favourite swearing is something poo-based, anything with the word poo in it.
Poo head, poo pants, poo face, that kind of thing.
So if the Wu Tang, and the Wu Tang would be allowed to say that stuff, if they incorporated some poo head stuff.
They don't like that kind of thing, the Wu Tang.
It's too lavatorial.
Okay, number four, you've got, should we split this into two bits or is everyone enjoying this?
Let's carry on, says James.
Okay, number four, what is this sound?
Whoa, you got some really good mystery sounds.
Thanks, dude.
What is it?
Play it again.
Is that a vuvuzela sleeping?
Snoring.
Yeah.
A vuvuzela in deep sleep.
Or is it the sound of a big fat gentleman lying in a bath of mud having a doze, but... Someone stuck a kazoo up his... Yes, exactly.
There he is.
Right.
No.
What?
I mean, it's tricky this one.
You could get it.
Something about a water bottle, maybe?
No, we're going to put you out of your misery.
That is Ed from The Friendly Fires making an owl noise through his hands.
How was I supposed to get that?
Because you love The Friendly Fires and you're mates with Ed.
I didn't know he...
Ed loves the show.
We ran into Ed.
He's a big fan of the show.
I don't know.
He says the podcasts have helped him through some tough times.
Oh, thanks, Ed.
And he made that amazing bird noise, didn't he, Lucy?
I didn't know Ed could do the bird noises.
You have got one out of four.
Here is your last chance to claw back some integrity.
All right.
What is this sound?
Oh.
Wow.
Is that Pierce Bronnholm having a wee wee?
An incredibly powerful taffing wee.
I know exactly what that is.
Like a high pressure hose.
That's Dr. Sexy in a big sexy shower.
Yeah.
In one of those showers in a bag.
Oh.
You know what that's that's what it'll sound like when I take my because one of the nice things about being a festival is going home Sure and taking having an amazing shower.
Yeah that first shower that cleans you right off.
Absolutely.
It's it's lovely But that was actually the sound of me Washing the very heavy claggy mud off my boots, which you're not supposed to do because it's a waste of water But I done it anyway
Because you're too big for your boots, that's your thing.
Thanks, man.
That was a fun game.
Thanks, mate.
And thanks, Lucy, for going out there and probably doing most of the work.
Hey, that's not true.
Here's Tame Impala.
They were live yesterday on the park stage.
Enjoy.
That was Elbow, Neat Little Rose.
Was that recorded yesterday?
Yeah, recorded yesterday on the Pyramid stage and I watched their set and you know, I haven't really registered Elbow fully.
I've read a lot about them but never really, you know, focused on them properly.
I had a bit of a agave epiphany watching them.
He was amazing.
He was brilliant with the crowd.
Sure everyone's heard of his reverse Mexican wave thing he did, but the music was brilliant.
I thought it's, I was saying to you this morning, it reminded me a bit of Thomas Dolby's stuff.
There's no higher praise.
A cross between Dolby and Elvis Costello or something.
It was like amazing Dolby stuff, but done with different instrumentation.
Elvis Costello and Dolby stereo.
Yeah.
It was amazing.
It was brilliant.
That's a nice slot as well to have.
That's one of the magical ones.
Yeah.
Magical slots.
And it's the support slot as the sun is going down, if it's a sunny day, of course.
And then the big surprise yesterday, well, it wasn't that much of a surprise because it was announced in the Sun newspaper, was Pulp playing on the park stage.
Six Music's very own Jarvis Cocker going out there and wowing the crowd, apparently chatting between songs and handing out sweets and things like that.
Six Music are doing well, aren't they?
All they need is Bouncy and Chris Martin and Bonio, and we would have all the major acts DJing.
Yes, that's true, isn't it?
Get Thom Yorke as well.
Let's get him.
Who would be the best DJ out of Bonio, Martin or Beyonce?
Hmm, I think Beyonce would be pretty good.
Yeah, I think she would too.
Bonio would chew your ear off a little bit too much.
Martin would just be apologising all the time.
Listen, would you like a couple of travelling tales?
Yes.
Here's the jingle.
Well, we're gonna be getting on the train in a while like many other festival goers and heading back to our straight lives Yeah, and boring boring, but here is a tale right now about train travel from Liam and Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I got the wrong one there.
No
No disrespect, Liam.
Your story was amazing, but I'm going to save it for another time.
This is from Serge of Midsommar, where all the murders happened.
He says, hello, boys.
I was listening to the lamentable tale of the young lady who felt she was overly chastised for putting up her feet on the seats of the Metropolitan line.
And we told that the other day.
It was a message from a young lady who,
Well, she expected us to support her for her right to put her feet on the seats.
But unfortunately, we went the other way.
We're not supporters of feet on seats.
No, we're not.
I mean, she was contrite, but she felt that she'd been overly chastised for having the feet on the seats.
Anyway, Serge says, well, maybe she should count herself lucky that the following didn't happen to her.
One summer's evening after work, I was on my way up to town from Uxbridge and was sharing the carriage with some young lads.
young lads, eh, who seemed like madmen, uh, sorry, who seemed like madam, rather, from a few weeks ago, to think that the clearly positioned sign requesting that people keep their feet off the seats did not apply to them.
As the train arrived at Rainers Lane, I was being very British about containing my seething rage when a rather fidgety older gentleman boarded the train.
I could see the cold sweat crossing his face as he blurted out to the boys that they should
Keep your feet off the seats!
Keep them off!
The boys laughed and shrugged, but the man persisted.
There's a sign!
Keep your feet off the seats!
The boys ignored him and carried on chatting.
The train made to depart when the man stumbled across the carriage and pulled the emergency cord.
The train juddered to a halt and the boys went silent, peering incredulously at each other.
Several minutes later, the driver had made his way to the end of the carriage where he inquired as to what had transpired.
Both parties appeared unrepentant.
The driver, a reasonable man, to all intents and purpi, brackets plural of purposes, says Serge.
He took the view that the man's actions were entirely disproportionate, given the circumstances, advising that the man had disrupted the network.
Fair enough, I thought.
What I did find a little difficult to comprehend, though, was the fact that the driver stood his ground and refused to return to his cab and pilot the train until the man had apologized to the boys.
No.
Yeah.
Good driver.
You reckon?
Well, I like him, you know, whether you think he was right or wrong, he's taking a firm stance.
I think tell the old chap off for pulling the emergency cord, but you don't get him to apologise to the hoolies with their feet on the seats.
That's too much, isn't it?
I don't know, I'm getting weird sympathy with the lads here.
Are you?
Yeah.
I think I know the guy.
Do his voice again?
Get your feet off your knees!
Yeah, I know that guy.
Really?
Yeah, that's Grandpa Weird.
He's cool because he's known locally as Grandpa Weird.
He's always pulling the emergency call.
Isn't there a thing in that email that he's got lots of plastic bags full of weird stuff?
P.S.
He has lots of plastic bags full of weird stuff.
He's known as Grandpa Weird.
He's a kind of trampy chap.
You know what I think he's known as?
What?
Count Buckules.
He's not Count Buckules.
He's smartly dressed.
You sure he didn't have a big backpack and a bicycle and a beard?
There we go.
That's the noise.
That's the noise he makes.
Well, I'm divided about that.
I'm not sure whose side to be on.
Yeah.
But you don't go pulling no emergency cord unless it's, you know, feet on seats is not an emergency.
Feet on seats is not really an emergency, is it?
That's very irresponsible.
He should have had the fine imposed.
But the Utes, man, they would have been out of control with Joy after that result, wouldn't you think?
You think it's a blow for some version?
They would be crowing.
Poor old grandpa weird.
I'm on his side.
What a story.
It's a morally ambiguous story.
Hey-ho.
Well, that's enough.
That's a good noise though, isn't it?
Hey, what?
Hey-ho.
It's because I've been- Yeah, that's the last thing you'll say before you die.
Ahhh, hey ho!
Hey ho!
That'll be it, Bucky Lee's out.
Sorry, I think it's hey ho came from the fact that I've been listening to the Fisherman's Friends out there, they're on the pyramid stage.
Yeah, they were singing hey ho and up she rises.
That's right!
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken?
All the people out there in the crowd with scurvy and trench foot are all singing along.
They love it.
Eating their ship's biscuits.
Now let's play some more music, some live music that was recorded yesterday.
And this is a man who's so hot right now.
And he drew a massive crowd to the park stage.
I'm talking about James Blake.
Here he is.
Thank you so much.
Thanks very much, everybody.
Thank you so much.
Thank you very much indeed, everyone, for coming.
It was really fun.
I had a great time.
I hope you did, too.
Don't forget, there's a puppet show at 3 o'clock.
And also, they're lovely cakes baked by a woman called Daisy.
Bye-bye.
And I'm going to play Smash the Rat now.
The only problem is someone's taken the rat.
So can you pop it back, please, in the show?
Because always, no one can play Smash the Rat.
And that would be great if you could do that.
Thanks a lot.
What's going on?
Hey, this is Adam and Joel on BBC6 Music broadcasting to you live from Glastonbury.
We're here till 1pm.
Now yesterday morning we had a fantastically uplifting encounter with Glasto Squadron, the Glastomberi segment of our Black Squadron listening force.
We went to meet them at about 10am at the top of the show.
You can hear it in yesterday's podcast.
But a funny thing happened to me.
Adam's just going to close the door there.
We opened the door, but the fisherman's friends are getting out of control.
They're getting a bit leery.
Going to have to close that door.
So as I was walking out of the BBC compound towards the gate, there was a fantastic sort of clutch of squadron members.
Yeah.
And I waved at them, and they all sort of cheered and applauded, which was very nice indeed.
But between me and them, there was a man, a ruddy, rotund, jolly-faced man with his family, four little children with their faces painted.
They'd somehow got into the BBC enclosure, and they were waiting there with an auto
and they saw the squadron cheering and he saw me coming, saw that they were cheering at me and he said, hello mate, hello mate, oh I love you, you're brilliant, I'm such a big fan.
I thought, oh that's really nice and he got an autograph book and he got me to sign, he had some pretty big autographs in there and he was saying, oh you're brilliant, I love you, we were really hoping to meet you, I love your stuff.
A little voice in the back of my head going,
doesn't look like a typical six music listener doesn't look like it you know but i don't want to be in any way you know prejudiced i don't have any particular you know want to presume yeah yeah yeah so i signed his autograph book and while i was signing the book he said oh i just bought your new album last week it's great
I thought, hmm, someone's volume two?
Maybe he's bought that?
Well, there's a small chance, but basically it dawned on me.
He had no idea who I was and he was just fishing for fun autographs.
But it didn't, I'd realized that, I think he'd realized by that point because he'd seen my autograph.
Joe Cornish?
Who?
What?
But we still went through with the charade.
I crouched down.
I had my photo taken with his kids grinning.
I said, bye bye.
Great to see you.
Have a brilliant festival.
It was strange.
See you, Jaycorn.
You should have started... He certainly didn't say, see you, Jaycorn, because my signature was illegible.
He didn't know who I was.
He was just crazy autograph fishing.
Wow.
It would be good if he'd said, will you sing your new song for the kitty?
And you could have just freestyled something.
Yeah, a bit of Coldplay.
Do you think I should have told him who I wasn't?
I think it's better to... Just to carry on with the charade.
Yeah.
I felt a bit hollow though.
Yeah because no member of that family would have had a truly rewarding experience would they?
I just flash forward to Antiques Roadshow 2026 when it's presented on hover platforms from the 6 Nebula.
It's presented by Professor Brian Cox in 2026 and they're looking through this autograph book and they're going Beyonce, Chris Martin,
Who?
Wait a second, is this Jaycorn?
Jaycorn balls?
Who's that?
But maybe by that time you will be a platinum selling music artiste as well as a very successful director.
It's almost inevitable, almost guaranteed.
Yeah.
You know, once the retro text the nation jingle is released as a single.
A jingle single.
The world's first jingle single.
Jingle single.
It rhymes, so it's gotta happen.
Didn't even ask Dr. Buckles for his signature.
And I could have passed for Bobo Hoskins.
You could.
Ooga Booga.
Ooga Booga, would you like my signature?
I can't believe I met Bobo Hoskins.
Kids, it's the fellow from Super Mario Brothers.
Ooga Booga.
That's the end of that thing.
All right, let's have some music right now and... Sorry.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, this is a free play that I brought in.
And I have been enjoying this ever since I first heard it on the film The Abyss.
Really?
Who's this by?
This is some little feet.
Oh, this is what they play when Trucker Man is going down and having fun times in his little underwater pod.
Yes, one night.
She's there piloting the pod.
At the beginning, do you remember?
And she starts, she's listening to this, she starts singing along in her submersible, and then all the other guys in the crew of the Deep Core start joining in.
He's good at that.
It happens in Aliens as well, those sequences at the beginning of the film where everyone, they don't know that they're basically gonna die.
Yes.
And they're heading to hell, but ignorant of that fact, all upbeat and excited.
They're all singing together like a big underwater happy family and don't realize that they're just about to be tested to the very limits by a hugely sympathetic aliens.
Yeah, crazy army guys, brightly colored aliens, extreme weather and water tentacles, water tentacles.
Exactly.
So this is a little beat and it's called willing from 1972.
Enjoy.
Yes, M-E-M-E-N-E, that's the bees.
This is Adam and Joe here on BBC 6 Music.
Hey, how you doing, listeners?
It's a beautiful day here at Glastonbury.
The mud is drying out and there's summer and joy and nudism in the air.
Now, I think it's time that we had some facts, some hard facts.
We've already had some fun, hard, incorrect facts this morning about Wells being the smallest city in the UK.
So let's have some more right now about Beyonce, tonight's headline act on the Pyramid Stage.
yeah did you know Joe Cornish that Beyonce Knowles was I didn't know any of this I was amazed when I found out this stuff because I had quite a preconceived notion of where Beyonce was at where she was from she was born in Brighton in 1925 her father was the hairy ginger film blogger Harry Knowles and her mother was of course destiny
Was there something there?
I was leaving that to Hank.
She's Destiny's child.
Okay.
Come on!
That was good, that was good.
I was intimidated by how good that was.
Yes!
I didn't even get it.
Exactly.
For Beyonce's sixth birthday, her father Harry Knowles gave her three gifts that would change her life.
Gift number one, a profound love of showbiz, which you just gave her in a box.
Gift number two, the album Anthem by Toya, one of the big woman albums out there.
And number three, a beautiful antique booty.
Armed with these gifts, Beyonce dedicated herself to breaking into the entertainment world.
Good stuff.
I didn't know any of that.
Sir Bruce, Beyonce has no formal qualifications, did you know?
But she does have seven Knowles levels.
One for the money.
Oh my... Oh good.
Two for the show.
Oh my good.
Three to get ready.
and one for home ec.
Beyonce got her big break traveling around the country with her father Harry Knowles, shaking her booty that he'd given her, to records by Shaq Attack, whilst Harry dressed up in a big foam rubber suit with polka dots on it and fell on top of her from time to time.
One evening,
A top television exec saw the show and he immediately thought, this is going to be great on TV, commissioned a series.
And of course that became the much loved TV landmark, Noel's House Party.
Featuring Mr. Blobby?
Yeah.
Keep going, more facts.
more facts come on facts have you got more no do you though do you really have more no that was good that's all the facts there are about her nothing else is known she's a very mysterious figure yeah how did you research those facts uh i i asked some people right you just asked around i asked one of the guys in the in wells like outside wells cathedral yesterday i was sitting around smoking well good facts jazz cigarettes
So there you go, that's more or less all you need to know about Beyonce.
We're ready for her big set tonight.
I'm excited about it.
Yeah, it's gonna be great.
And especially now that I know all that.
What is her biggest hit apart from putting a ring on it?
What do you think, Lucy?
What's Beyonce Knowles' biggest hit?
for this jelly bootylicious maybe yeah i don't know we'll find out let's find out what her biggest is i don't think you're ready for this jelly yeah she does say that at one point yeah yeah she uh yeah cooks very unexpected jelly let's have a little bit of music now uh just to clean those facts out of the air ah yes this is the naked and famous they were playing on the other stage here at glastonbury and um listen to this
It's the naked and the famous there, live at Glastonbury, 2011.
Adam and Jo here on BBC6 Music.
Do you prefer the naked or the famous show?
I do like both together.
The best type of famous person is a nude one.
We're joined by Sinead Garvin.
How are you doing, Sinead?
Hello, I'm very good.
How are you?
Nice to see you.
Yeah, all right, not too bad.
A little bit raggedy.
My brain's beginning to shut down.
Yeah, I'm feeling fairly tired today.
Yeah, my brain just feels as if it's been baked in a kind of big mud oven.
And large parts of it are no longer online.
No.
So that's a shame.
So I'm quite pleased to see you with some music facts that actually aren't just made up gibberish.
It took me quite a while this morning to get going to collate all the facts.
It was a bit of a lot of pauses when I was daydreaming away.
No, concentrate, concentrate.
But let's talk about the special guest that was on the park stage yesterday because we did chat about who it could possibly be.
It was a little bit more obvious I think yesterday.
Pretty much everyone knew it was going to be Pulp.
It's the Jarvis stuff.
Yeah they had so much kit with them and when I was sort of backstage at the park which is a massive massive truck just tons and tons of equipment and when they actually were before they came on stage and all their equipment was there lots of the big like boxes just said pulp on it so if you were there thinking who's it gonna be?
What's in there?
Why do they need so much equipment?
What do they do that requires all that equipment?
There's a puppet show halfway through.
Is there?
Yeah.
It's quite an elaborate show.
Yeah, it just breaks out into this mad, like, rapping puppets all over the stage.
What's the real answer to that, though?
Do we know?
Joe's tolerance for made-up facts has shot down desperately.
I desperately need some truth.
Please, something to cling on to.
All the appointments, all the guitars and all the amps and the keyboards and all this, and they have quite a big set, so it's all of that.
They've got so many different albums, different sounds to reproduce.
There you go, there you go.
So it's all necessary and they put on an amazing show.
The sun was blazing at that time yesterday.
I think possibly there were more people there for Pulp than there were for Radiohead.
Yeah but I mean poor old Radiohead had the weather very much against them.
It was grim out there when Radiohead were playing so it was impressive that they pulled such a massive crowd.
but uh pulp were on form, Jarvis was leaping about.
He was fantastic.
I mean I haven't seen them since they reformed, is he still doing all his moves and everything?
Absolutely, there was bum shaking, his arms were flying everywhere, he's getting into the crowd handing out chocolates.
Chocolates?
Yeah and um quite a few people were saying it was a little bit like listening to his radio show because in between every track there was quite a lot of chat about various facts he'd looked up about whose birthday it was and speculating what they might be doing for their birthday and
I think it was National Water Day or something somewhere in the world.
And so we learned a lot throughout the set as well as hearing all of the music.
But yeah, great singing along and all that kind of stuff.
So yes, the special guests were great yesterday.
No special guests on the park today, but still a good lineup.
Groff Rees headlining.
Oh yes.
The only problem with Pulp though was that they kind of ran long and the poor old Wild Beasts didn't get much of a look in in the end.
They were supposed to be headlining weren't they?
Yeah so they ran on then James Blake was on next and he kind of had to cut one or two songs I believe out of his set and then Wild Beasts didn't come on until about 20 past 25 past 11 but I have to say that set was immaculate.
They can sing superbly.
There wasn't a note out of place and considering the range of vocals it was spectacular.
Makes a change.
Contemporary band be able to sing properly.
I don't mean that.
I just thought I should say it.
He's just imitating a prat.
Thanks, I'm good at it.
Yeah, well, I was up there for all of Wild Beasts and it was obviously, you know, a smaller crowd, but it was fantastic.
And they seemed to really, really enjoy it, which is what I love about Glastonbury when the bands come on.
It's just so special for them and they absolutely love it.
Well, the Fisherman's Friends are having the gig of their life out there.
Yeah.
I mean, what should we do with the Drunken Sailor was just, I've never heard it as good as that.
They wrote that song.
They really did.
All the pirates are going nuts in the mud.
It's wonderful.
Well, the sun's out now, so the mud's drying.
Yes, that's right.
It's a bit sore if you fall over in the mud.
Some of the pirate's peg legs are stuck in the tribe.
A lot of dead parrots out there as well.
But I had a chat with Wildbeast beforehand and they said they were embracing the fact they were up against the mighty Coldplay, who of course headlined the pyramid stage.
Right!
Yes, Lucy was delighted she had the gig of her life despite quite a massive bucket of scorn being popped on her experience by scornballs over there.
Hey!
Come on, I was just being objective and
He loaded up his scorn rifle.
He was firing pellets of scorn.
Then he dumped a big bucket all over Lucy, and she's dealing with it very well.
But they did a good show, right?
They did, yes.
I mean, I was up watching Wild Beasts, but I caught a little bit of it, and I saw a bit of the televised stuff.
And by all accounts, everyone seemed to really like it.
They came out all guns blazing.
There was confetti and fireworks and all the rest of it.
And he started off sort of almost apologising, I guess, for saying, we're going to have to play the new songs, guys, but don't worry.
You're going to love them soon.
I think we'll be the judges of that, thanks Chris.
But yeah, so I think, you know, when they got through the hits and everyone's singing and Beyonce, who of course is tonight's headliner, was in the crowd.
She had her hood up, she knows how to dress for a festival, stood next to Jay-Z.
So he's obviously here.
Did Chris have anything written on his face?
No, but apparently the confetti did get stuck to sweat on the back of his neck.
So he did a nice bit of an aluminous confetti there for quite a while that he didn't realise.
Did he?
I thought he just had a fluorescent earpiece.
Well, no.
No.
they do good day glow ultraviolet paint on all their keyboards and stuff though it's very pretty to look at this show yeah well so they lit up this pyramid stage like it's never been ever been done before so that was and lots of lasers and multi colors and the works Wow what have we got to look forward to today then apart from
Beyonce.
We have got, like I say, Gruff Rhys is coming up on the park stage and Queens of the Stone Age are up against Beyonce.
So, what are you going to go?
Rock?
Pop Queen?
Something for everyone there.
Exactly.
We've got Everything Everything playing as well today, which is quite exciting.
But just back to the band who were on before Coldplay yesterday, The Lovely Elbow.
Of course, having the gig of their lives.
Yes, again, very engaging with the crowd and his guy just before the gig.
I'll be honest with you, I haven't thought about anything else the last three months.
I've woke up with it on my mind.
I'm sure we all have.
Every day since we found out we were doing it.
It's unkind to say, but all gigs are a rehearsal for this one.
And to be so high up the bill is just incredibly humbling.
20 years of elbow today.
It actually is 20 years June, isn't it?
Yeah, so.
So we don't, none of us remember the exact day, but we know it was June 20 years ago that we got together, so we've decided that today is our anniversary.
And so the crowd, when they told the crowd this, they just burst into happy birthday several times throughout their set.
Aw.
So yeah.
They should have got Michael Eavis out again.
Happy birthday to you!
That's nice though.
He's the people's hero, isn't he, Garvey?
Yeah, absolutely.
A very warm man and sort of makes it feel quite intimate even though you're in a massive crowd.
So it was a lovely set, lovely.
Yeah, as the sun was going down.
Oh, that's great.
Hey Sinead, thank you so much.
You're very welcome.
Lovely to see you again.
We're going to play some U2, I think, from the other night.
They were of course headlining on the Friday here at Glastonbury.
Enjoy.
I mean, I wish it went on for a lot longer, that one.
That was Stay by U2.
Hey, this is Adam and Joe here at Glastonbury.
How you doing, listeners?
If you're keen to hear some of Pulp's surprise set last night, stay tuned, because we've got a bit of that coming up soon.
But before that, we received a text from a female Joe with a couple of kisses.
She says, hi, Adam and Joe.
Not sure if this will reach you at Glastonbury.
But I had to text to say to you the following.
I am at Glastonbury.
I was sitting in the green fields eating breakfast and two children came over to me with monkey puppets asking if we would make a donation if they sang a song.
To my surprise, the song they proceeded to sing was Adam's festival song.
What?
I think you should be aware of other artists profiting from your material.
So that's pretty good, isn't it?
There are a couple of kids with monkey puppets.
Pretty good!
I'm going to go out there and find those kids and slap the monkey puppets out of their hands!
Where's my money?
Hence my free play.
Here's another chance and it's an apposite time to play this to hear Count Bucky Lee's festival song.
Please leave a message after the tone.
Gazman, it's the Julinator.
Just to let you know, I bought the tickets for Sludgefest, as well as Chillax, Wicker World, the Inoffensive Electronic Festival, Wet Weekend, and Pimms in the Park with Timbuk3 headlining.
Drops a text if you think I've missed any.
Cheers, ears.
Load up the 4x4, it's festival time We're stuffing the chill bag with nibbles and wine We're going to sleep inside a collapsible yurt We've got to nurse in case anybody gets hurt
Festivals used to be awful, just crusties and weirdo groups There was nowhere to charge your mobile, and nowhere nice for doing poops Now they're often in stately homes with global cuisine that's ace And you can leave the kids in a really nice creche while you get off your face Hip hip hooray, it's time for festival fun We've got our hats and our sun cream
in case there's some sun but when it rains we've got our green welly boots and if we feel the love we've got our birthday suits look kids that's Keith Allen that's Lily Allen's dad he's been coming since the 60s and apparently he's really mad and over there that's Katie Moth that's right that crazy druggies ex let's ask her if she'll join us for a boogie and some sex
Everybody over to the advert stage movies on.
Oh, yes, then it's group armada with the theme from M&S Then it's a bloke that I don't really know with the tube from a boat campaign and then it sucks
But I'm a little bit worried that won't be enough So could you call Jemima and ask her to bring a bit of rice Some jelly and a big ball of string And don't forget the Baraka and the yoga mats too
Because there's going to be healing and yoga to do And there's a bloke from Tibet who can teach us to breathe And after that we'll see Moby, then we'll probably leave Load up the four by four, it's festival time We're stuffing a chill bag with nibbles and wine We're going to sleep inside a collapsible yard We've got a nurse in case anybody gets hurt Load up the four
Anna Kalvi, I'll be your man.
Live at the festival yesterday, Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
Yeah, and as you know, listeners, we're big fans of the film Taffyn.
We absolutely love the story of tough local Taffyn going in to sort out some mobsters.
I mean, I've never seen it all.
All I've seen is the bit.
Yeah.
I mean, we failed to track down Bronnholm, didn't we?
We did.
We tried to get him on the show, but...
I mean, why is he really?
He wasn't interested.
You would have slightly less respect for him, I would imagine, if he did.
I just think, you know, he shouldn't engage with this kind of tomfoolery.
No, exactly.
But we've made an interesting discovery, or did this come thanks to a listener?
Yes, it did.
This came thanks to Chris Brookbanks, who wrote to us, Dear At Farm and Joe Mobile.
I love the Joe Mobile.
Probably a bit late now, but I found a Hindi version of Taffy and attached is the famous line from said foreign language version Hindi Bronholm So this is interesting because of course a lot of movies when they're released in the world have multiple language tracks You know you get that menu at the beginning and you've got to select what country you're in and it's got a list of loads of territories, but of course that means if if Taffy has that then that line has been dubbed by a foreign actor in all of those languages
I mean, is TaffyN even available on DVD, though?
It's av- yeah, it is.
It is, yeah.
Sure it's available on DVD.
And you reckon it was widely available across the world?
And it would have all those foreign language versions on it, surely not.
Well, I think it's possible.
I've certainly- I did this with E.T.
before on the show years ago.
E.T.'
's a bit bigger than TaffyN, isn't it?
No.
Mm, is it?
No.
I don't know about that.
So here is that amazing Taffyn line performed... Well, let's do the original line to remind people.
Good thinking.
And we could even set up the line with a bit of acting, couldn't we?
As long as I'm living in this... Hang on, you do this, but then I'm not sure what her line is.
You might have to do both parts.
What goes on in this town is none of your business.
I can't even say it.
What goes on in this town is none of your business.
Well, it is while I'm living here.
Then maybe you shouldn't be living here!
Wow, was that real?
Yeah, that's exactly how he does it.
That's exactly how he does it.
He's got incredible lungs, Bronnholm.
He does.
Now, let's hear how that is put across in the Hindi version.
You're not allowed to speak in Hindi.
Hojow!
He could extend the hojow though, surely?
Yeah, that was disappointingly short.
We might have to do a bit of doctor and the medic sing that.
The thing is that this is our last show here on Six Music, myself and Joe, for quite some time.
So who is going to take care of Bronnholm in our absence?
I think we've given Bronnholm enough of a Philip.
It'll keep him going for a while.
People can take care of him themselves, can't they?
But that was fantastic.
Thank you, Chris.
An amazing piece of Hindi drama there.
Right, it's time for some more music here on the programme.
And we have Pulp, ladies and gentlemen, the big surprise guests on the park stage yesterday here at the Glastonbury Festival, and they're playing Miss Shapes.
Good stuff, man.
That's war paint.
With Burgundy, Adam and Joe here on BBC, Six Music live at the Glastonbury festival.
And it is a beautiful day here, scorching.
I mean, why couldn't it have been like this all the time, like all my life?
Lovely that it is like this today, though.
A great reward for everybody who struggled through the last two muddy and claggy days here at Glastonbury.
But right now, on the Adam and Joe show on Six Music, it's time for some pop-propriation.
I like to change the lyrics of songs from time to time To make them refer to things I do I call it popo creation and as far as I'm aware it isn't a crime I wonder if it's something you do too
I like that jingle.
Oh, you're going to miss that jingle, aren't you, listeners?
That's a bit Wild Beasts-esque, isn't it?
Here's one to get the ball rolling from Peter.
He's a male boy, aged 26.
Every time I pot-bake naan bread in the oven, when in cooking a curry, he says, I sing naan, na-na-na-naan, na-na-na-naan, na-na-naan, in the vein of Inikamose, hot stepper.
Love you, bye, says Peter.
That's good.
A naan bread based one.
Yeah.
Very good.
Here come the hot pitta.
That's something that's another one that some people do.
Here's an email we got from Mike from Brighton.
Dear Adam and Joe, re pod prop reations brackets.
Is that right?
No, it's not.
It's wrong.
Pop propreation.
It's a sort of confused reconstruction of the word appropriation, isn't it?
Anyway, the one about changing the words on songs to fit with one's circumstances at that moment.
When it's starting to rain, I will often bore and irritate my family by singing the Weather Girls classic, It's Raining Men, substituting the word men with the word rain.
This is apparently very annoying indeed, but I still think it's funny, so there you go.
Asterisk.
It's extremely important to sing this in tune and with some modicum of musicality or sincerity, otherwise younger people may think you're singing the Jerry Halliwell version.
That would be terrible.
Is that sincere enough?
That's good, isn't it?
It's sort of come full circle and cancelled itself out, that one.
And I think you're right, that would be very annoying indeed.
And the fact that you still think it's funny, Mike, is extra annoying and possibly even funnier.
That's my favourite type of humour, is not knowing when to stop, just going on and on.
Yeah, it comes back round again.
Beat, you have to physically beat me.
Yeah, they get angry, then laugh again, then even angrier, then laugh harder.
And it's not funny, exactly.
Well done, Mike, thank you.
Finally, here is something that's maybe not strictly speaking popropiation, but definitely somewhere in the Venn diagram.
Dear Ladam and Jomo Sapien, Hello.
I'm a female girl called Sophie.
I'm emailing regarding a matter that is sort of related to popropiation, but something sort of different.
My friend Gareth and I are in a band, so we spend lots of time sitting in a van for long periods.
We were recently talking about how sometimes we link different songs in our heads.
So, for example, when you start a line of a song and it morphs into another song.
Does that ever happen to you?
It's like a portmanteau, but for songs which we have cleverly labeled songmanteau.
So here is a few examples of songmanteau.
For example, Aztec camera somewhere in my heart going into dusty Springfield.
I only want to be with you.
Summer in the city and the air is still A baby being born to the overkill But you started something, oh can't you see?
Ever since we met you had a hold on me It's like a demented medley Yeah, songmento It could be a whole new segment It's good isn't it?
And here's another one Peter Gabriel, Salisbury Hill and Thin Lizzy, the boys are back in town Climbing up on Salisbury Hill
I don't know if that's the actual tune for the Thin Lizzy bit.
And the last one she says is... And these are just exhortations now.
Wow, is that it?
They've both been compressed so much that you can't really recognize either of them.
Well, that's the Gene Knight.
Mr. Big Stuff.
Nice.
That's good, I bet.
If I thought about it, I could drum up some of those.
Just wondering if anyone else does this like we do.
Keep up the good work, says Sophie Galpin.
The podcast is always a source of great mirth in our tour van.
Love you.
We love you too, Sophie.
Thanks very much for that.
And thanks to everyone who sent us in appropriation over the last few weeks.
It's been very enjoyable.
Here's some more music right now.
This is Graham Coxon with a track recorded yesterday.
Was it, James?
This is You and I live from Glastonbury.
Don't take my life away.
Good stuff.
That's Meryl Garbus there, AKA TuneYards.
She's from New England in America, and she's one of the ladies that does that thing of creating drum loops on the spot.
Lots of layers and samples.
Cool.
Bit like Griff Rees does.
Ukulele.
Yeah, I guess lots of people are doing it.
She's very good at it though.
Adam and Joe here on BBC6 Music.
It's 12.30.
Time for the news.
Big Audio Dynamite with E equals MC squared.
Big Audio Dynamite.
We're here on Friday on the park stage at Glastonbury.
If you're not at Glastonbury this year, if you didn't see them, then you can catch them at other venues around the UK.
They should just be part of some big six music touring show, don't you think?
Yes, they should.
There's Don Letts in there, another part of the six music family.
The band's not really a band until they've got someone who's involved with six music in some way.
Very true.
And don't forget six music is the place to stay for all your Glastonbury needs.
Lauren Laverne's here from two.
She'll be talking to Cool and the gang.
Flipping hell.
Stuart McConies here from Five, with guests including John Cooper Clarke.
Nice.
Keris Matthews and Sean Keveney are here with Dwayne Eddy and Griff Rees.
Whoa.
And then La Mac is back with his dirty Mac at 10, going live around the stages, including the Queens of the Stone Age.
Oh, Laura, Laura, lovely Queens of the Stone Age.
The other very exciting guest who's been around, spotted by a few paparazzos this weekend, was a stinky dog.
Not Boggins.
Yeah, he's a friend of the show for a while.
Well he made an appearance yesterday morning during our Glastonbury squadron meeting where his fate was decided by mob rule.
That's right.
And they actually gave him a lease of life so he was freed into the muddy fields of Glastonbury to gamble and poop.
He went scampering off.
I mean it's very difficult for Boggins to tell
The difference between a place to poop and, you know, he's in paradise.
Perfect environment for him.
He may live here in the woods with, um, what's her face?
Kate Moss.
Yeah, for the rest of the year.
Be her little stinky pal.
Her little stinky dog on a string.
Well, do you remember we were talking about Louis Armstrong the other day and speculating that he was, in a way, the jazz boggins?
Yes.
Well, here is Boggins making that dream a reality.
This is a sort of beautiful, emotional farewell to Boggins, really, isn't it?
It is.
I think it's the last time we're going to be seeing him for a little bit.
I may cry during this.
He's getting used to his new home.
I'm welling up.
The Glastonbury Festival.
Ah!
And red and orange and blue I'm going to pee on them all Before the festivals through And I stink to myself Oh boggins, what a wonderful smell It's almost like one giant toilet
Hide a tent And eat somebody's food Leave my hair in a sleeping bag And I'm sick in it too And I stink to myself What a wonderful smell I love this place Just look at it
The giant piles of rubbish are climbing to the sky There's a whiff of human feces on that man who just walked by I see dogs on strings saying, how do you do?
They're really sayin' I just donna poo I find a little birdie's nest So I smash and eat the eggs And then I lick a toddler's face And bite him on the leg And I stink to myself
What a wonderful smell.
I think something might have died in your tent.
Can I have it?
And I stink to myself.
What a wonderful smell.
I think I've finally found my home.
I've got a problem with my bum.
I love you.
I'm just as if he's having a terrific time there.
It's Aloe Blacc with I Need a Dollar.
He was doing a bit of songmanto there.
Of course, the festival is the natural home of songmanto, isn't it?
Yeah, that sounded good.
That sounded great.
Nice bit of Darryl Hall and John Oates.
Hey, we're almost at the end of our show and we are packing all the controversial bits of our program into the last half hour.
We've bid Boggins farewell.
Now let's bid a temporary farewell to this stinky section.
I'm a funny person, I often make up jokes My jokes are more amusing than those of other folks When you hear my joke, I think you'll find that you agree Come on, you're all invited to a made-up joke party
So this is a part of the show that Scornballs poured quite a lot of scorn on a few weeks ago.
It wasn't because of the quality of the jokes but in a way it was because I found it very psychologically tiring to go through them to read them all didn't you?
I mean we are overjoyed at the quantity of emails we've got particularly in the last you know couple of months but it does make plowing through the submitted jokes quite
grueling, doesn't it?
Well sometimes when the jokes aren't sufficiently chuckle some more you feel that maybe they've been made before.
Bit of a brain strain.
Because the other thing is that it requires quite a lot of work.
You have to enter these things into Google.
We hate work.
Just like you, listeners.
You know, that's why we're at the Glastonbury Festival.
But listen, we're going to do this segment now for the last time and as a result, am I right in saying
that you have got the greatest made-up joke ever and we're only going to do one and that is wrong isn't it yeah it's just an average one it's a it's just one that made me chuckle like all the other ones good enough i put the punchline into google and i it didn't return anything but hey i thought wells was the smallest city in the uk so a lot resting on this what why what are you why we did it different
Okay.
Good point.
This is from Tom.
He's a 17 to 25 year old postman from Edinburgh.
I like that.
Very nice.
Straddles all the ages.
He's in the demographic and he is a postman.
Yo, yo, yo, buckwheat and corn cob.
I don't know if you're going to do any made up jokes anymore, but just in case, here is one.
I did independently come up with this, but I don't claim to be the first person ever to do so.
All right, scorn balls, he says in caps.
Here goes.
Why aren't pregnant women hungry?
I don't know.
Why aren't pregnant women hungry?
Because they gestate.
Nice.
Because they gestate in your face.
Can that be made up?
Can he be the first person in the world to figure out that gestate sounds like gestate?
Yes.
Good.
Factron.
He is the first guy ever to stumble on that joke.
Love, love, love you says Tom.
Cheers Tom.
Here's a bit of music right now.
And, of course, I've completely forgotten who we're going to play, James.
Oh, the Walk people!
The Walkmen from yesterday at the Park Stage.
This is them.
That's the Walkman recorded live yesterday at the Glastonbury Festival.
Folks, that's it from myself and Joe Cornish.
Yeah, thanks for listening everybody over the last three days.
It's been an absolute pleasure to be here.
It's been a pretty amazing festival.
Yeah, it's been really fun.
And thanks as well to people who are listening who've been listening for the last three months or so while we've been back at Six Music.
We've had such a good time.
Thanks a lot and hopefully we'll be back with you before too long.
Stay tuned here on 6music though for the rest of the day.
Steve LaMack is coming up.
Don't forget the podcast is available of this show to download later today we hope and the other podcasts are still up there I think for a while.
Yeah with special extra bits as well there'll be one or two special extra bits on the on today's podcast just ins and outs.
I don't want to get anyone over excited.
No exactly.
But now, that's it from us, ladies and gentlemen.
We're going to play you out with one of my favourite Scott Walker tracks and I like to play this at the end of our runs here at Six Music.
So this is going out to all you, Podcats, Digiforce, Black Squadron, all the various factions that keep this program going.
Thank you very much indeed for all your help with our show for the last few months.
We really appreciate it.
Yeah, thank you.
Take care, we love you, bye!
Bye.