Yeah.
Ooh.
Oh, it's got space, the sound, the effects at the end.
Space night is at the end, it turns out to be in a bin in space.
Are they singing it in a bin?
No, in space, yes.
A bin in space.
A bin in space bin.
Hi, this is Adam and Joe on XFM.
We're here with you till three.
Don't forget, you can call us, 08712221049.
You can text us at any point, 8... What?
And this is our last show.
We're about to take a break for the summer.
We're not going to be back till September, so this is our last show for about three and a half months.
Four months?
Is that four months?
How long is that?
It's a long time.
It's three and a half months.
Long time.
It's a long time without any Adam and Joe loving.
Oh, man.
What are you going to do?
Well, you're going to get some tender loving radio care from Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais.
Yeah.
I presume that means they've finished their show, Extras.
Possibly, or they're filming it during the week.
I think actually they're scheduling it around celebrity appearances.
A great deal.
They're waiting for celebrities to be available.
Stars.
And then scheduling their shoots around them, to an extent.
That's what I've heard.
But they'll probably tell everybody, that's Ricky and Steve coming back, one till three, sitting in for us.
They're not quite as forthcoming with their gossip as we are though, Ricky and Steve.
No, they're anecdotalists.
I know, they tend to talk about things in real life rather than- They're non- showbiz anecdotalists.
Yeah, whereas we desire the ephemera.
Mmm, delicious ephemera.
But yeah, I'll be listening to Ricky and Steve and that'll be very, very exciting.
But forget about them for the moment, because it's us for another two hours, and we've got fantastic prizes to give away.
We've got three pairs of tickets to the premiere of Sin City.
Hey, is that good?
I know almost nothing about it.
It's supposed to be genuinely fantastic.
You haven't seen it?
I haven't seen it yet, but a lot of people I know have, and it's apparently superb, and it's got Jessica Albert in it, and I think she's very, very sexy indeed.
I don't know who she is.
I love her.
What's she been in?
Neighbours?
I don't care.
She's so sexy.
Well, I've never even seen Jessica Albert.
Yeah, Alba.
Alba.
Wasn't she?
Was she Dark Angel?
James Cameron's action series in the US.
Get hip.
And she was Honey in a Missy Elliott film.
She was Honey in what Missy Elliott film?
Missy Elliott hasn't made a film.
What are you talking about?
See, now you need to get hip.
Well, admit- no, I'm only saying Missy Elliott film.
There is no- Missy Elliott video.
A video.
She's in some video.
But, uh, anyway, she looks so sexy in Sin City.
I need a hip operation.
I don't know anything about this.
Oh, I'm so excited about that.
We've also got, uh, for Ditzy's in the Dark at the end of the show, we're giving away, uh, three Revolutions albums featuring the work of the Bravery, Kasabian, Super Furries, The Clash and many more.
And, what, we've got one pair of tickets to the Isle of Wight Festival.
That's a good-
That's a very good prize.
And it sold out, that festival, so that'll be for some sort of text competition.
So, so much to win, so many laughs.
So many good times.
A lot of TV to talk about, man.
It was a bumper week for telly, one way or another.
A bumper week.
Did you watch a lot?
I did watch a lot.
Shall we have a record, though?
Yeah, let's.
Incidentally, we started the show with the Kaiser Chiefs with Every Day I Love You Less and Less.
Right now we have a track from Weezer's new album.
This is Beverly Hills.
Ooh, I pressed the wrong button.
That's a good start, isn't it?
Yes, that was Coldplay with the Speed of Sound.
A very thoughtful and profound track.
Has that got you thinking, Adam?
Yeah.
I think it's about 50 miles an hour.
Mm.
Sodom and Joel on XFM.
Of course, Star Wars Revenge of the Sith has come out.
How do you say Sith if you've got a lisp or a speech impediment?
Sith.
Revenge of the Sith.
So we're opening our special Star Wars clinic for anyone who's seen the film and has mental problems with it, which I'm sure there are a lot of people because it is a fairly mental film, can give us a call.
We will provide you with some therapy, some Star Wars therapy.
So on the line, we've got Jonathan.
Brilliant.
Hello, Jonathan.
Hi, how are you doing?
Very well.
Now, you've been to see within this weekend.
I did, I went to see it yesterday.
Yeah, and you've got some medical problems with it, haven't you?
Well, no, it was just... Pretty well, no.
Well, I enjoyed it, I thought it was a good film.
It tied in some things nicely.
The script, obviously, also was filmed, the script isn't the strongest point.
No.
And a lot of it was, you know, the CGI was spectacular.
Yes.
But it was a good film, I did enjoy it.
Okay, well there's the review.
What's the criticism, what was your problem?
Well, nothing.
It wasn't a problem.
It's something you brought up last week.
He's picking us up on something.
He's got a problem with us.
When he christened Lord Vader.
Just to remind listeners that Joe said last week that it seemed to be a completely random decision just to christen Lord Vader.
Well, they do the moment, don't they?
Of course it's an exciting moment where he goes, you know, I think I shall call you Darth...
But they don't tell you the thought process or the logic at all, so it's sort of a slightly pointless hollow moment.
Do you not agree, Jonathan?
Well, no.
I think the logic behind it is that he, Hayden Christensen, gives his big spiel about, you know, I want to protect my wife and my family.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, his fatherly juices.
Yes.
And Vader in Danish, now I don't think they speak Danish on Tassooine or any of the galactic planets, means father.
Well, how are we supposed to know that?
yeah well you know and okay put it this way something something to relate to hold on jonathan yeah so according to your theory what if he what if he went i think i'll call you darth hmm father father is vader in danish vader yeah
Yes, Darth Vader, because it means father in Danish, yet would that be better?
You remind me of a delicious pastry, a Danish pastry.
Wait, what is it?
Father in layers buns.
This is all linking up in my brain into a kind of logical piece of space butum.
What's your comeback at that, Jonathan?
Nothing.
Silenced.
We win!
Yay!
Bye bye Jonathan, thanks for calling.
Thanks very much Jonathan.
It's still a rubbish moment.
Paul on line two for the Star Wars problem clinic.
Hello Paul.
Hello.
What's your medical problem with Star Wars Paul?
Well I thought it was pretty dark to be honest with you.
Pretty disturbing.
You're disturbed now.
I'm still shaking.
Really?
Paul you're lying aren't you?
No, I'm really not.
It was the attack on the younglings.
Oh, the younglings.
The younglings?
What are the younglings?
I couldn't get on with it.
Well, do you mean children?
Yeah, but they refer to the younglings.
Especially the fact that the kid that actually spoke had a cock in the accent.
Was that really true?
I didn't like it.
Didn't you hear it?
I didn't know, but I liked that, because in the original trilogy there's a lot of British actions, because they were all shot in Britain.
So there's loads of, all the Stormtroopers have English voices, don't they, in the original movies?
Might be wrong about that.
Yeah, it just made it more real for me.
But there were things I liked about it, to be honest with you.
I liked the fact that it was particularly accurate, where they actually, when- It was historically accurate.
When Bail Organa gives the droid to Captain Antides,
I thought that was a pretty good touch.
My nerd alarm is going off a little bit.
That's very good.
Using all the right names.
You mean when they erase the memories?
Yeah, that's right.
When he's having an oral bath in a new hope.
Yes, my nerd alarm's actually hurting me now.
Paul, you're absolutely right.
So you really liked it.
Well done.
How old are you, Paul?
I'm 24.
Yeah, there you go.
So you're actually quite young for the originals.
I am, I am.
Big fan though.
Well, well done going to see it.
He didn't really have a medical problem, did he?
Well, he's spooked, he's just spooked.
He just didn't like the murder of the younglings.
Yeah, which is fair enough.
They can't refer, they can't use the word, they don't use the word children.
No, younglings.
Very odd.
Child rocks.
Yeah, child rocks.
Paul, thank you very much for your call.
Have a good weekend.
And Jonathan, thanks very much indeed as well for giving us a call.
Are we closing the Star Wars clinic?
Just for the moment.
We might open it again later if you've seen Star Wars and have problems.
We're closing the Star Wars clinic's doors.
I've got a little free play for you right now.
This is The Damned.
Then we're going to hear some commercials and we'll be right back with you on XFM.
Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh Ricky and Steve laugh
Yes, it's crap commentary competition time.
There's just one clip this week, and, you know, crap commentary competition corner?
What's it called?
I don't even know what it's called.
Corner.
It's sort of been withering away and dying because I've been running out of DVDs in my collection with rubbish commentaries.
So this isn't the most brilliantly funny one.
But, it's quite challenging.
OK?
And it's got some slightly amusing American-type talking.
OK?
So, if you know who this is and what film they're talking about, call 0 871 222 1049 and you could win a pair of tickets to the Sin City premiere on Monday, this coming Monday.
Which that is a good price.
That is a good price because it is a wicked film.
It's supposed to be a wicked film.
And also I've got Jessica Albert and I like her stomach.
I don't know who she is.
Yeah, she's got a nice tummy.
No idea who she is.
So 08712221049, stand by your phones to win tickets to the Sin City premiere.
Tell us who is this actor and what film is he talking about?
this call in my answering machine.
He was like, hey dude, what's up man?
Hey listen buddy, um, you know, so we're gonna be working together, right on bro, let's become bros, let's become friends man, call me dude, let's go hang out.
So I called him up and I said, yeah, what do you want?
He said, hey man, let's go hang out dude.
I was like, oh, this guy's a loser, aren't he?
Let's be bros.
I don't want to work with him.
Let's be bros.
I think maybe that was me that called him up.
Really?
Yeah.
I just, oh, I didn't say it like that.
You are a bit of a loser.
I just said, let's be bros.
I just said, listen, we're going to be working, can we be bros?
Did you say we're going to be working, bro?
Can we be bros?
I may, I may have done it.
Did you?
Well, yeah.
But what's wrong with that?
Well, that's the sort of thing a loser says.
He was very often.
You're a loser.
Hearing his voice there, I can just see his chipmunk face.
I don't give away any clues.
Well, that's not too much of a clue.
It's obviously a bloke, but I'm not 100% sure who it is, but I can see a chipmunk face.
Once more?
08712221049.
Who is this actor and what movie is he talking about?
I don't know what movie it could be.
this call on my answering machine.
He was like, hey dude, what's up, man?
Hey, listen, buddy, um, you know, so we're gonna be working together.
Right on, bro.
Let's become bros.
Let's become friends, man.
Call me, dude.
Let's go hang out.
So I called him up and I said, yeah, what do you want?
He said, hey, man, let's go hang out, dude.
I was like, oh, this guy's a loser.
All right.
Boy.
When you know who it is, I'm- Uh, the clip is thrown into a completely different light.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Er, but I- I think I do know who- I tell you what, for extra points, you could tell us who that was calling him as well.
But if you work out who that actor was, you can pretty easily work out who it was calling him.
Really?
Cos it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Wow.
0-8-7-1, 0-8-7-1, triple 2, 1-0-4-9.
Call now if you want to win tickets to the Sin City premiere this coming Monday.
Cos I brought along some extra prizes, cos you told me, you emailed me this week, Joe Cornish, and you said, let's be really up ourselves, cos it's the last show before the summer, and we can just do all Adam and Joe stuff for, like, any Adam and Joe fans.
And so we'll do an Adam and Joe Ditties in the dark and we can do... We might still do that.
But then you kind of recanted.
Maybe wisely, I would say.
Possibly wisely for crap commentary.
We were going to play some Adam and Joe crap commentary.
Yeah, but then we thought... It just would have sounded like Adam's voice.
Exactly.
Anyway, 0 8 7 1, triple 2, 1 0 4 9, if you knew who that was.
But I was going to say that as a prize, I brought in some copies of Ken's commentary for the Priory.
Hey, that's a good prize!
This is a very rare item.
This is a commentary I did just to amuse myself and my friends.
Shall we go to the phones and put this to bed and then we could talk about those prizes for maybe the next thing?
OK.
Er, so, and before that, I'm gonna play another exciting free play.
I don't know if this has ever been played on the radio.
Maybe I'm not allowed to play it.
But it's by Kevin Eldon, the comedian.
Ooh.
And, er, calling himself Kevin, er, calling himself Popsocks.
Tell people what Kevin Eldon's been in, in case they don't recognise his name.
Kevin Eldon has been in Big Train.
Uh, he was- He's a sort of Chris Morris regular as well, isn't he?
Yeah, exactly.
Did a lot of jam, isn't he?
Yeah, he was in Jam.
He did a lot of stuff with, uh, Stuart Lee and Richard Herring.
And, uh, he's an all-round funny guy.
Oh, he's in Nighty Night as well.
And this- he's got a little band, has he?
Is it a one-man band?
He's a really good musician, Kevin Eldon, but he's done a lot of musical spoofs for various projects.
he's been involved with and I don't know what this one was for but there's supposed to be a Swiss band called Pop Socks and this song is called Mobile Phone.
I was thinking about you I was feeling alone So I decided to call you
Well, it's lovely to hear someone who's still so excited about mobile phones.
Me excited about mobile phones.
I think maybe there was supposed to be an Austrian band, but I think maybe it was supposed to be them releasing a single in the early 80s or something.
Yeah, I think they could release that now.
I think it's good to reinvigorate people's... You know, we've become complacent about phone technology.
And that's just made me excited about the whole thing.
You see, that would be a better ringtone than Crazy Frog, surely.
We'll talk about that a bit later, shall we?
That's a whole other kettle of fish.
We should do this crap commentary, Corner.
Let's wrap it up.
Take these callers.
Hang on, Lydus has asked me a question.
Oh, questions.
It's that one.
That's who it is.
OK, so we're gonna go to the phones.
You alright, Adam?
Are you ready?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're having some plastic problems.
Just, you know, exciting sounds of production.
Plastic box problems.
Can we go to Dick?
Hello, Dick.
Are you there?
I'm here.
How you doing, Dick?
I'm not too bad.
Thank you.
How you doing?
Oh, very well.
Are you confident you've got this right?
Pardon?
Are you confident that you've got this correct?
I'm quite confident.
Yeah?
I hope so.
Yeah?
Definitely.
What have you got then?
What are your thoughts?
I think it's Gary Busey.
He's coming out of the film Point Break and it's Dopey, Dopey co-star Keanu Reeves.
the boozy in the break a great film a great actor that's the boozer it's a good bit of logic there man but you're completely wrong completely wrong oh my god it's a very good guess though and i like any opportunity to talk about either point break or uh gary boozy i love boozy i love his son jake boozy do you know his son jake boozy yeah i haven't seen
He looks exactly like his dad.
He's the guy that blows up the time machine in contact.
The space machine.
Isn't he?
He's the terrorist.
He's a fantastic sort of albino type, scary looking, weird.
I love the boozies.
Is he?
I think you're right.
I think you're right, yeah.
I think he's one of the GIs at the beginning.
There's also an American series called I'm With Boozy, which I heard about, which is about an obsessive Jake- not Jake, no, who's the dad called?
Gary.
Gary Boozy fan who just spends a whole week with Gary Boozy and apparently was brilliant.
I never saw it.
It's like a regular series.
They always just hang out and drive around and go shooting and stuff.
Well done.
Can we give you a- do you want a pair of tickets to the premiere anyway?
Can you make it?
It's Monday, Monday evening, this coming Monday, Leicester Square.
You know the whole cast are going to be there, Dick.
Really?
Yeah, everybody.
Rodriguez, Mickey Rourke, what's his face from the underground, what's he called in Crouppier and stuff?
The underground?
I'm just saying it's from the underground because you see him around London all the time on the underground.
Yeah, it's not that exciting.
Yeah, the English one.
I'll look forward to seeing Mickey Rourke Squarehead.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And don't, er, don't frighten any of them, you know.
Don't, like, say weird things to them.
Stay away from them unless you're invited to speak to them.
I'll see you there, I'm gonna go down.
Thanks for calling, Dick.
Cheers, Dick.
Glad I got you wrong, Ray.
Let's see whether Ray's got it right.
Is that Ray?
Hello, Ray?
Hello.
How you doing?
All right, thanks.
How are you?
Yeah, I'm very well, thank you very much.
Good, good, good.
Do you want to know who- who wants to do it?
What's it about, Joe?
Did you suddenly lose the will to live there?
Yeah, I don't know, I don't know.
Cheer up, man.
Alright.
It's holidays.
Go on, then.
Ray, who do you think it is?
Yeah, I think it is Dennis Hopper talking about Peter Fonda around the making of Easy Rider.
wow you pronounced his name like see he's a pedophile peter peter fonda peter fonda yeah he's a notorious peter fonda a peter fonda he's a peter fonda he's fondling peter this is bad now it's terrible okay um ray so what made you think that what do you think what the giveaway clues because uh well it's it's a hardcore californian accent all right and his draw and also the fact that i don't think they really got on and that kind of uh
really there's some very good informed guessing going on that's good guessing i think that guessing deserves a pair of tickets to the sin city premiere yeah definitely would you like that ray that'd be lovely can you go i think i should be able to go yeah i can hear the sound of young children you've got young children i have yeah what you can't take them what you gonna do about that uh it'd have to be my missus won't it
to leave the misses at home with the kids.
And go to the sexy Hollywood premiere and make a pass at Jessica Alba and possibly sleep with her.
It's a pair of tickets though, you're supposed to take- this is going to reinvigorate your, uh, domestic life.
Get a babysitter in.
Yeah.
Take the wife, she'll love it, it's full of killing and special effects.
But listen, man, you got it wrong, unfortunately, but you're still going to the premiere and have a good time, thanks for your call.
Thanks a lot.
Yeah, thanks, uh, for everything.
Uh, let's see if we can- That's a bit over the top.
Let's see if we can, uh, nail this one.
Who have we got?
Is it- is that Christ- what does that say?
Kristina?
Krista- Kristala?
Krista.
Hello, Krista.
Hello.
Wow.
That's a nice name.
Sounds very- Oh, yeah, it's Greek.
Is it really Greek?
It is.
Yeah, I'm not gonna say stupid things about your name because that's always very predictable and old, isn't it?
It- it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So let's move on.
Adam is, though.
What are you gonna say?
No, no, no.
I was gonna say I always enjoy it.
Yeah.
I just thought it sounded a bit like Krista.
We've gotta- we've gotta wrap this up, because we're rambling now.
Krista- uh, uh, Krista, who do you think it is?
It's Corey Feldman.
She's so confident.
How did you deduce that?
I know it because I've got the Lost Boys DVD and I've got it in my head.
Well done.
It is, of course, Corey Feldman talking about the first time that Corey Haim telephoned him.
Exactly.
And it doesn't sound like- I've hit Haim.
Yeah, exactly.
And it turned into a relationship that spawned such superb films as Licence to Drive.
Which I've seen, sadly.
Well done.
Snowboard Academy?
Were they in there?
No, no.
I gave up on the Haim Feldman partnership after Licence to Drive.
There are other Haim partnership films, aren't there?
What are they?
Oh, man.
This is- Hey!
Okay, sorry, Chrissie, you're not having any tickets.
No, give them to me.
You're not having any tickets.
Do you want the tickets?
I waited outside the Empire the other day for free tickets, and they had 50 pairs, and I was number 58.
No.
Heartbreak was charged.
Really?
For Sin City?
Well, what a fantastic happy ending, then.
I think they're just giving them all hate to anybody now.
Oh, don't be stupid.
It's the most heartfelt ticket in London.
Yeah, exactly.
You had to go through the ringer for that.
I did, I did.
I've earned it.
Absolutely.
Well, listen, I hope you enjoy yourself.
Thank you so much for your call.
Thank you very much for- for getting the competition right.
Cheers, guys.
Cheers.
See ya.
Have a good weekend.
And, uh, wow.
Wow.
That was amazing.
I'm gonna resist the temptation to carry on talking about the two Corey's because we have to go to the adverts.
We'll be right back.
Well, that's an almost exhausting level of excitement.
It's easily arranged.
Um, yeah.
For him to be somewhere else.
Just go.
Just leave.
Um, that's Razorlight.
Fantastic stuff from Razorlight somewhere else.
Before that, you heard some adverts.
And before that, you were listening to me and Joe crapping on.
about the two quarries and we've had a couple of texts to remind us that the quarries, someone's texted and I quote verbatim, the quarries done scuba school.
Full stop.
That's a very good sentence.
It's the worst film I've ever seen.
They had so little budget that they used cardboard cut ups of people and trees in the background.
I think they spent all the cash on drugs and they both looked mangled.
And I never saw the end.
One of them- Robin Morden.
I know we've talked about this before, but which Corey looks okay these days and which- The Corey's done scuba school.
Uh, one of them's very fat.
Corey Haim, who's the pretty one in The Lost Boys.
Yeah.
With the sort of quiff and the stupid sort of Elvis smile.
He is now a great big blob.
The one that- A lovely blob.
The one that looked a bit sort of more like Rough Trade than the other one.
There was one who was very- What do you mean by that?
I don't know.
There was one who was very- Fuck a red boy.
Basically, one's really good-looking, one's not so good-looking.
And Corey Feldman is the one- that's Corey Haim, and Corey Feldman is the one who was in The Goonies, which Corey was not in.
Corey's was the- was- Which was the one who was in Stand By Me?
Uh, that is Corey Feldman.
Feldman, yeah.
And he's the- now Balloon Boy.
No, he's nor- fairly normal.
He was always a little bit podge and he's remained decently podge.
But Hame has gone from being a young Adonis to a huge blobby balloon boy.
You never know though, man.
It's just a phase probably.
No, it's the drugs, it's the drugs.
Huge drugs.
He got into drugs very, very early, Corey Hame.
Dear me.
I wonder, that was presumably what the Trills were singing about.
The Trills?
The Trills.
What is that then?
Whatever happened to Corey Hame?
Yes, yes, exactly, yeah.
I don't know if they were just sort of saying, "'cause you never hear from him anymore," or whether they were saying, no, you hear from- I mean, they're majorly famous.
Everyone knows about them.
All you have to do is turn on the biography channel or e- Exactly.
They're everywhere all the time.
Uh, I think they should come back.
I think they should've done Scuba School again.
They should've done Scuba School too.
Yes.
Uh, did you watch- man, there was a lot of good TV on this week, or at least TV worth watching.
Hmm.
Uh, Stalking Pete Doherty, which we sort of said that people should watch last week.
Did you catch it in the end?
You know what?
I missed it.
you lunatic.
Was it terribly, terribly good?
It was amazing.
What I couldn't work out is everybody was saying to me, and listeners you might be able to help with this, is that, uh, Max Carlish, who was the documentary maker who made it, kept going, who was apparently a Froot Loop, well he's actually clinically, he's bipolar, so he's actually mentally ill, Lila, before you make gestures like that.
Um, uh, oh I've lost my train of thought because Lila's all outraged.
Because there's, there's different- Did he, did he, was he actually gay for Pete Doherty?
Did he actually really crave sex with Docherty, or was he just using these statements as a sort of metaphor for the interview process?
Cos some of my friends were saying, wow, he was actually sexually obsessed with Docherty.
Or others were saying, no, they've just got the wrong end of the stick he was using.
He'd come off the phone and say, oh, I just had sex with Docherty, it was amazing.
And actually he was just talking metaphorically about the interview process.
Yeah, no, he makes it clear throughout that he thinks the interview is like having sex.
It's a really revolting, erm...
But he is sort of obsessed physically with Doherty as well.
Analogy.
Isn't he?
Yeah, he is, definitely.
No, he's completely besotted by him, but as a fan would be, do you know what I mean?
And it sort of verges on the sexual at times.
But the weird thing about it, it was a very compelling documentary with some stuff that was so hard to watch because it was just this guy completely laying himself bare in front of Doherty and making a total
get of himself.
And Docherty actually coming off quite well as someone who was just letting this guy in.
Steve He's got a lovely voice, hasn't he?
Speaking voice, Docherty.
Ricky Yeah.
Steve I've never really heard his speaking voice and he's really boyish and sort of childish, isn't it?
And nice.
Ricky Oh yeah.
But he basically just let this guy into his inner sanctum because his whole philosophy is like,
yeah you know anything goes and let's let's all just hang out together and be nice yeah and so this loony guy comes along and he lets him in and after a while though it gets too much and they stop inviting him backstage which is fair enough but you get the you know he's been pushed as far as he can go the next thing that max carlish does is go off and
sell little bits of footage of Docherty chasing the dragon to the tabloid.
So no wonder he got a bit upset about it all.
But the whole thing left a weird taste in the mouth because Max Carlish is ill or was ill, certainly at the time.
And bipolar, is that the same as manic depressive or schizophrenic?
I'm not sure.
Maybe someone could tell me, because those are similar conditions.
But I'm not sure exactly what the difference between them is.
But anyway, he's certainly clinically ill or depressed.
And you just felt like- well, Channel 4 was slightly promoting it as like, what do you think?
Do you think this is a documentarian who's gone too far and stepped over the line?
And it's like, no, he's just ill.
He's clearly ill.
And Docity's an addict.
It's just a sort of big car crash, was it?
A big car crash documentary.
Yeah, a massive car crash.
When's television ever not put that stuff out?
Or exploited that sort of stuff?
I know that's true.
That's their job.
But I- you felt sorry for everyone involved, really.
Yeah.
In a way.
I feel sorry for myself because I missed it.
I know.
Well, I've got it on tape, man.
I'll give you a copy.
I'm the greatest victim.
It's- I've got it on tape.
I'm giving them out.
It was- it was sick, but amazing!
And I'm giving it out.
So, uh- It was so consistent.
Yeah, thanks very much.
Yeah.
OK, we'll be back very shortly.
Very good.
They made a bit of a mess at the ending of that, didn't they?
Well, it sort of fell apart amiably.
But that was very enjoyable.
Hard to beat by Hardfy, and before that you heard Lila by Oasis.
Now, Joe, you know... Listen, I wanted to ask you something, Adam.
What's this week's Virgin Megastore's album of the week?
And how can I do things concerned with it?
Oh, that's a good question.
Thanks.
Yeah, I've been thinking about this, and I think it's audio slaves out of exile.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Now, if you want to win... I do.
And I win copies.
I don't even know if it's copies, but if you just want to win...
OK.
Yeah, Joe, if you want to win copies of Out of Exile by Audioslave, can you please go to www.xfm.co.uk?
Yes.
Because it's the Virgin Megastores album of the week.
Oh, brilliant.
If you listen to Marsha on Monday from 10am, she'll be giving away copies as well.
Well, that's exciting stuff, and Marsha's coming up after us, sitting in for Justin D. Collins, is she?
Yeah, because Justin's just had a baby.
And congratulations, Justin, and your partner.
We're very, very happy for you.
Wow.
Just give a birth to an extraordinary television career.
Yeah, a little hairy baby.
So, uh, congratulations, guys.
I hope you're both very well and happy.
All three of you.
Darren Bristol.
They can't probably come here.
I know, but I'm just sending it out into the ether.
OK, then.
Now, talking of television, uh, I think television has reached a new low this week.
I think something's gone wrong, specifically with ITV.
I think ITV has- has broken.
I think it's dead.
Are you joking?
I was gonna- I'm- I'm not joking.
I think ITV- I was thinking- because I watched Monkey Trousers last night and I didn't mind it.
Monkey Trousers was quite good.
It was quite good.
But, generally, I turned on the telly at, like, 11.20.
Yeah.
ITV.
And it's that celebrity love nonsense.
Oh, it's the live stream, yeah.
And it's the live stream, and it's just a blank picture of an island, and the text on the screen saying, for legal reasons, er, we cannot, sorry, we apologise for the loss of sound or vision, this is for legal reasons.
Now, to me, that might be alright on Channel 4, er, at two in the morning, but on ITV at quarter past eleven on a Saturday night, that's just fundamentally wrong.
I agree with you, although I think Channel 4 do do live streaming from the Big Brother house at a similar time.
Do they?
Yeah, I'm not sure, because I remember thinking- I don't think they do.
I don't think live Big Brother comes on until after midnight.
I don't think Channel 4 would put a sorry for loss of picture.
And it's such a specious apology anyway, because they can put whatever they want on their channel.
They're not, like, bound by the fact that what Fran Cosgrove is saying naughty, nutty words.
They could just put a cartoon on or something.
Or a pop video.
I think that's just beyond the pale.
It's lazy and it's wrong and it shows a terrible lack of imagination and etc, etc.
Yeah, it's deeply cynical.
Are you not watching Love Island then?
Well, we could talk about how good Love Island is.
Yeah.
In a second.
So that's reason one why television's sort of another nail in the coffin this week for ITV.
The other thing is the flipping crazy frog.
That's out of hand.
Now, that used to be just on non-terrestrial stations.
Yeah.
But in the last couple of weeks, it's penetrated like an evil weed through to terrestrial.
And now it's on non-stop on 5, 4 and 3.
Yeah.
In the middle of proper programs.
And sometimes twice in a break.
In a single break.
Now, now, dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum.
Sometimes to Axl F. Me, me, beep beep beep.
And I like that advert.
It's cute when it's on non-terrestrial where there are different rules.
But for it to go to terrestrial is deeply wrong.
And the interesting thing is they've had more complaints about it than I think any other advert in history.
I think they had 400 complaints within about two days of it going on terrestrial.
and the complaints people have had to open up a whole separate website purely for Jamster-related complaints.
A frog division?
Frog division complaints website.
Wow.
And it's not just about his froggy willy bits that we've talked about at great lengths.
Those are all censored, yeah.
Those are all censored.
Now, it's just the fact that it is the most
amazingly annoying advert ever which was charming at first but I feel we're partly to blame because we talked about it when it first emerged in an exciting optimistic way well everyone's everyone's to blame if you look at it like that people were you know and I would buy it and thought it was funny and amusing so they just leapt on it and squeezed every little miserable bit of juice out of the horrible frog that they could and
But that's the nature of advertising, though.
The weird thing about how cynical advertising has become is that now they sort of think this sort of thing is acceptable, you know what I mean?
People are so jaded that they just expect to be bashed in the face repeatedly by these kind of adverts in a sort of Blade Runner way.
It's going to encourage people.
I mean, I haven't got Sky or Cable.
I've only got Freeview, but now I think I'm going to get Sky, because if adverts like that are on normal telly, then there's no longer any distinction between terrestrial and non-terrestrial.
Oh, they're on Sky, mate.
I know, I know, but what I'm saying is I just give up this thing of sticking to the four terrestrial channels.
You need the box, you need the TiVo box.
I'm gonna go TiVo.
I'm gonna go Sky Plus.
Yeah, that's the way to do it.
And it's the frog what done it.
Get the advertisers, kids, come on.
Let's do it together.
Oh, that frog.
the ever dependable Foo Fighters with Best of You.
Yeah, their video was premiered on Channel 4, an exciting video exclusive, last night.
It was fairly average, it was just them singing in lots of close-ups of the microphone in Dave Grohl's mouth, and then them singing in a place, I don't know where.
I think they should only do video exclusives if there's something sexy or violent in a video.
That's what they used to do, it used to be like the Two Tribes premiere.
Ricky goes to Hollywood, or a Madonna video, or something dirty and late night, something banned.
Steve China Girl, do you remember that?
With Bowie rolling about in the surf?
Ricky Yeah, the China Girl with Bowie's Butox.
You don't want to just put a, you know, a standard Foo Fighters video as an exclusive on Channel 4.
Not the reason why television's going down the tubes.
Steve Yeah, absolutely right, Joe.
Brilliantly well said.
Uh, before we slag off more, uh, business TV, um, can I just say a couple of things that I really enjoyed?
Ricky You were on it.
Steve What?
Things would be different.
That's true, isn't it?
If the Adam and Joe show was still on, things would be very different.
Yeah, because then it would be brilliant.
Yeah, but Kevin Ligo from Channel 4 killed us.
He hates us, so he killed us.
Um, The Thick of It.
Did you watch that?
You haven't got, uh, you haven't got digital, have you?
No, but that's on BBC 4.
The Thick of It is the new, uh, Armando Iannucci political, uh, Brainiac satire.
But listen, I'm worried that we're not gonna have time before we start talking about that to give away these tickets for the Isle of Wight Festival.
OK, well tell people now what they should do.
I think possibly our listeners might care more about that than Armando Iannucci's new show.
Even though maybe they shouldn't.
But they might be desperately wanting these tickets.
Well tell them what to do and then I'm going to continue to talk to you about it.
OK.
If you want these Isle of Wight tickets, one pair of tickets to the Isle of Wight Festival, 10th to the 12th of June, on the bill, Roxy Music, Idlewild, Morrissey, Magic Numbers, R.A.M, Snow Patrol, Feeder, Ray Davies, then simply call us, 0871 222 1049 and plead with us.
Just give us a really good reason why we should give them to you.
We're going to get two or three people on the lines.
then we're gonna basically have a pathetic off.
Steve Yeah, it's gonna be ruthless.
I think we should be ruthless, you know what I mean?
Ricky Yeah.
Steve If you sound like- if we don't like you, you're not gonna get them, simple as that.
Ricky Yeah.
It's gonna be completely partisan, non-partisan, whatever that phrase is.
Steve Yeah, non-partisan.
Ricky Yeah.
Steve Yeah, exactly.
So, uh, no, I recommend you watch the thick of it to return to my original- Ricky Can I get the number quickly?
Oh, it's 7 1 triple 2 1 0 4 9.
Oh, it's 7 1 triple 2 1 0 4 9 for those Isle of Wight Festival tickets call now carry on yeah So Thursdays on BBC 4 you can catch the thick of it.
It's very funny also Yeah, I thought monkey tasks was really better than it should be Just very good as you said to see Vic and Bob doing amusing stuff
Mikey Traz is the big all-star sketch show on ITV's.
It was at 10 o'clock last night.
Vic and Bob, uh, Mackenzie Crook and Ian Lee, uh, who else was in it?
Er, John Thompson.
John Thompson, Steve Coogan.
Steve Coogan.
Yeah.
All sorts of people.
But it was, it was really pretty good.
Er, Ronnie Ancona and, erm, you know, your fellow, your impressionist man.
Oh yeah, Dave Sp-Spat-Spratt.
Ricky and Steve laugh.
Anyway, um, not him, but just that moment.
But anyway, they were all in it, and it was pretty good, but Vic and Bob sort of ruled it, really.
And there was a sketch in there that, um, Bob Mortimer does where he's kind of a clueless estate agent, and he's going around showing a house to someone, and just pointing at things and saying, uh, that's the ceiling, and that's the toaster, and that's the floor, and there's a fridge, and these are the corners, uh, there are many corners in the house, and that's just one of them there.
And then she asks a question like,
yeah well how long is the leasehold for I don't know and over there is the toaster and basically just says I don't know to every single important question but it was really funny and it's gonna be kind of a classic character I think that's my opinion maybe I'll be wrong but
We'll be back in September to find out.
The first show back, we'll actually discover whether you're right.
Hey, speaking of Vic and Bob, though, people should really not miss Katterick.
If you haven't watched it yet, it's on BBC Two at the moment.
It was originally shown on BBC Three.
But it's amazing.
It's really funny and some of the best stuff they've ever done, in my opinion.
So you'd be an insane kind of moron to miss it.
I've spent all week watching the Dave Chappelle Show on DVD.
Oh yeah, is that good?
It's very, very funny.
I don't know much about Dave Chappelle.
Well, he's recently gone mad and booked himself into a mental hospital in South Africa.
Who is he though?
He's America's biggest comedian.
Biggest?
The Dave Chappelle Show is the highest selling comedy DVD in America.
It sells more than The Simpsons and Futurama.
No.
Yeah.
But he's recently gone mad because of the pressure of his third series.
Right.
Checked himself into a clinic in South Africa.
Oh my goodness.
If you can play American DVDs, I do recommend the Dave Chappelle shot.
I might go out and invest in that.
That's our comedy recommendations for this week.
Thank you very much.
Now, here's a free play.
This is The Shins.
That's nice, isn't it?
That's Gone For Good by The Shins.
That's, um, maybe a bit too much of a pathetic track to play from that album, but it is an amazing album.
Shoot's Too Narrow, it's called, and I would invest in it if you haven't done already.
This is Adam and Joel on XFM.
Now, uh, what we're gonna do, we're gonna, uh, talk to some people and give away some stuff.
Now it's time for us to give away tickets to the Isle of Wight Festival, 10th to the 12th of June.
We've got five callers on the line.
There's no sort of thing to do in this competition.
All you have to do is you're going to have 10 seconds to convince us that you are the person who we should give these tickets to.
So you can go whichever way you want.
You can be aggressive and violent.
You can be really pathetic.
You can lie.
You can tell the truth.
Any technique you want, please don't swear or say anything naughty.
But you've got 10 seconds, these five callers, to win those tickets.
So should we go straight to the lines, Adam?
Are you ready?
OK, who've we got first?
This is gonna be a real test for your fingers, your mixing fingers.
Finger test.
Adam on the decks.
We've got Natalie first.
Hello, Natalie.
Hi.
Hi, OK.
Her voice sounds nice.
OK, shall we give her 10 seconds?
Let's give you 10 seconds.
What's she pitching for?
What's she going to win?
To win the tickets to the festival.
OK, right, festival.
Are you happy with what we're doing here, Natalie?
Yes, very happy.
You understand you've got 10 seconds to convince us?
Yeah, that's fine.
Your time starts now.
Go!
Hi, it's Natalie.
I've never been to a festival before and I finished uni this year, so what better way to celebrate?
You did what this year?
I finished uni, my final.
Time up!
Congratulations Natalie, that was a good effort.
Do we, do we say who's won yet?
No, we wait till the end.
Was that good enough?
So quiet Natalie, no, it's a ten second or over, sorry, we're being really ruthless, that's it.
I'm gonna make a note.
Finished uni, not been to festival before.
This is making me anxious.
We've got Chris.
Hey Chris.
Hi.
Okay, Chris, your ten second starts now, go.
Okay, this year my whole life's gone wrong, I crashed my car, my wife left me, my football team got relegated, I'm gonna lose my job and I really need something to cheer me up.
Is that quick enough?
That was very good.
There's a nice little sort of tummy noise as well in the middle of that.
That was extremely good.
Is any of that true, Chris?
It's all true, sadly.
Wow, that's amazing.
OK, Chris.
Chris, awful life.
Terrible.
OK.
Brackets, no wife.
No wife.
That's not true, is it, Chris?
I hope not.
That would be terrible.
We're not talking to Chris for the moment.
Who else have we got now?
Andrew.
Hello, Andrew.
Hi, how you doing?
Very well.
Your time starts now.
Good, okay, well last year I was at Glastonbury, I always wanted to see Morrissey, always wanted to see him, but my wife was ill, I had to leave early to go and look after my children.
OK, that's very good.
He's got children.
He's bringing children into the game.
His wife is ill and he's obsessed with Morrissey.
Ill wife.
That's a good one.
Well done, Andrew.
OK, Juliette, can she come up better with children, ill wife or awful life?
How are you there, Juliette?
Hi.
Yes, I am.
Hi.
OK, you've got 10 seconds starting now.
Go.
Yes, I'm even more obsessed with Morrissey and I live in Dulwich so obviously I've got to feel really sorry for me because my life is really dull, dull arts, unites.
and I'm really scared and I've got two kids as well and I won't be able to get there and it's essential to my well-being to be Morris's absolutely absolutely essential.
What are the name of your children?
Sophie and Charlie.
What are the name of your children's?
Yeah.
It's quite good, isn't it?
That is quite good.
Well, that's pretty good.
You know what, Julia?
I live in Camberwell, very near Dulwich.
Oh, yeah.
And I don't like your tone about Dulwich.
I went to school in Dulwich.
I went to Dulwich College Preparatory School in a little cap and shorts.
And I love Dulwich.
So, you know, you may have made a boo-boo.
Our final contestant there is, what does that say?
Richard.
It's Richard.
Hello, Richard.
Hi.
OK, so you've got quite a challenge there.
Yes, I have.
I'll be okay.
A lot of really pathetic people out there.
Can you be more pathetic than them?
Your time starts now.
Yeah, I'm even more of an obsessive about rockin' music.
I like to drink sherry with Brian Furry and tell Morrissey to cheer up and tell him to forgive his parents.
Drink what with Brian Furry?
Sherry with Brian Furry.
Oh, sherry.
Sherry with Furry.
I can, you know, bat my eyelids at him.
I have very pretty eyes.
You've got very pretty eyes.
That's good.
You see, no one else has gone for the pretty eyes.
It's surprising that no one's gone for that.
But you came in there at the last minute.
Well done.
Shall we go to the record and make our decision during the record?
Oh, yeah.
That was exhausting.
Thanks very much, you guys, for calling in there.
And sorry we had to be so ruthless.
Are we gonna keep them on the line so that we can speak to the winner?
OK.
Well, we'll- OK.
This is so amazing.
This is so tense.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
It's block party.
No, it's not.
It's the magic numbers.
Fantastic.
We're forever lost.
Now, shall we resolve this little thing we've asked people to phone in and pitch to us for 10 seconds?
Why is there exciting music in the background?
Because it's exciting.
It is exciting, isn't it?
Oh yeah, that's right, we had five callers, they all plead with us.
They gave us very good reasons why they should be going to the Olive White Festival, 10th to the 12th of June.
It's a sold out festival with an amazing lineup.
We've had to choose one person.
It's been an extraordinary debate here in the studio while that record was playing.
We knocked out Natalie.
We knocked out, what we did was we thought, well get rid of all the women.
Well, that's not true, is it Adam?
Well, the correct logic was we knocked out Natalie because she sounded a bit too posh.
Get rid of the women.
And she'd just graduated from university.
She'd never been to a festival before.
Sounded like she could afford to go to a lot of festivals.
Is that right, Adam?
It wasn't the poshness.
It was just she's a woman.
We thought, let's get rid of all the women.
Well, because Juliette went next because she said Dulwich was boring.
Yeah.
And I pretty much live in Dulwich.
Yeah.
So we left with Chris, Andrew and Richard.
Andrew, we didn't choose you because your wife is ill.
You don't want to go to a festival while your wife is ill.
And you've got children?
That's terribly irresponsible.
So we were just down to Richard and Chris, and our runner up is Richard.
Is he on the line?
Hello, Richard.
Er, thanks anyway.
That's not very good, is it, to get you on, you being a runner-up and not very good on our part, to now sort of rub it in.
I'll try with six music later.
There you go.
But listen, Richard, we're going to give you a prize.
Really?
Can I ask you, do you actually like myself and Joe and our work on television?
Yes, I do.
I love you.
I've never seen you in Edinburgh, actually.
Oh, yeah, fantastic.
Well, listen, we're going to give you a copy of the Adam and Joe DVD.
Do you have it already?
Yeah.
Do you really?
I can give it one copy away.
Exactly.
Spread the love.
Exactly.
I'll spread the joy.
To go with that is an incredibly rare collector's item.
It is my character, Ken Korda, doing a commentary over a edition of the Priory.
It's something that I did to amuse myself.
And of course, it's never going to see the light of day on telly because, you know, it's not clearable, but it's yours now.
You can have a copy and see what you think.
And I have like an autograph as well for like eBay and things.
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, sure, no problem.
I've signed the video and we'll sign the DVD for you.
That video's going straight on eBay.
Straight in the bin.
Well, thanks very much there, Richard, well done.
But our winner is Chris.
Hello, Chris.
Hi, how's it going?
Yeah, are you excited then, having won?
I had all the pain and misery worthwhile.
We gave you the prize because we thought you probably prepared what you had to say.
Did you write it down?
No, no, it just came to me.
Really?
I mean, it just came to me.
Well, you're a clever man.
Who are you going to take to the festival?
One of my mates.
I haven't studied yet.
OK.
Well, choose one.
Have a great time.
If we ever find out that any of those sad things are incorrect, we're gonna make your life hell.
Yeah.
If we find out that your wife hasn't left you.
If we find out you're married and your life is brilliant.
Is that true about your wife, Chris?
It's all true.
Did she really leave you?
Yeah, she did leave me.
We only married a year.
It's quite sad.
No.
When did she leave you?
How long ago?
A couple of months ago.
You're gonna have fun at that festival.
You'll find yourself a new wife, if you know what I'm saying.
Well, that's really sensitive, man.
Sorry.
I think Chris knows I'm not being very serious.
I know.
Listen, have a great time there.
Thank you so much for calling in all of you chaps that did phone in.
Sorry we couldn't give prices to all of you, but I hope you have a wonderful time there.
This is Adam and Joe.
We've still got to figure out what Ditty's in the dock is this week.
We'll have a think about that.
OK, we'll be back shortly.
This is Adam and Joel on XFM.
This is the last 15 minutes of our show until the winter, because we're taking the summer off.
Well, September, mid-September, we'll be back, so it's not strictly winter.
In fact, summer of September can often be very pleasant.
It's true.
The summer gets later and later in Britain.
It's true, isn't it?
Is it raining at the moment?
Oh, what's it ever like?
I'm gonna cycle back now, so I don't want it to be raining, that's the only thing.
I'm going to go for a song for Bob Hoskins.
Bob Hoskins is one of our favourite, hairy, short, famous actors.
This song is more of a little play than a song.
It casts Bob Hoskins as a sort of Dickensian street hero and he sings a wonderful sort of cockney knees up all about all the films he's worked on.
It's a beautiful, moving piece of music.
And it's a terrific tribute to Bob Hoskins, and it's the one you should definitely vote for.
It's called Song for Bob Hoskins.
It's from, I think, series three of the Adam and Jo show, and if you want to hear it, call 08712221049.
That's 08712221049, and vote for Song for Bob Hoskins.
Everyone who gets through and gets on the air will win a CD called Revolutions, which is an exciting anarchic compilation of lots of highly dangerous bands.
like Embrace, Phantom Planet, and stuff like that, all sort of XFM-type music.
So there we go.
If you want to hear the song for Bob Hoskins, call 0871 222 1049.
Alternatively, you could vote for our Robert De Niro Calypso.
This is a tribute to the gigantically talented actor.
which was written by uh well it was mainly written by joe and zach our friend zach and i contributed some lyrics to the melange uh and it's certainly one of the songs that i'm proudest of that we did on the adam and joe show and i'm not sure it's a real calypso but we called it the robert de niro calypso
And it sort of takes you through his work in a ludicrous way.
And it was partly an excuse for me to do my Robert De Niro impression, which is a very visual thing, and just involves kind of turning the edges of your mouth down.
I tell you what, you can do it here in the studio while the record plays.
OK, yeah.
So maybe they'll just get a sort of psychic impression of it.
Yeah.
So that's Ditters in the Dock this week.
It's a song for Bob Hoskins or the Robert De Niro calypso.
Call 08712221049.
Which of those stars would you rather hear a stupid song about?
Hoskins or De Niro?
08712221049.
Call now!
I like that.
It sounds like Pac-Man, doesn't it?
It's a good, uh... It's an Atari guitar noise.
Good little ending there.
A guitar noise.
Guitar noise from the block party with banquets.
Time to resolve ditties in the dock now.
And this week it's a shamelessly self-indulgent Diddy's in the Dock.
We're playing off two songs from the Adam and Joe show, which is currently available on DVD from all good DVD retailers.
It's our two tribute songs to famous actors Bob Hoskins and Robert De Niro.
We've got five callers on the line.
Let's go straight to see who has won.
Ursula, are you there?
I am indeed.
What are you voting for, Ursula?
Bob Hoskins, please.
Song for Bob Hoskins.
Very good choice.
You win a copy of Revolutions, an exciting compilation album.
Are you excited about that?
who sound very thrilled.
Thanks for calling us.
We're going to have to be quite quick on this because we're running out of time.
James, are you there?
Hello.
Hello, James.
What's it going to be?
Is it going to be De Niro or Hoskins?
Hoskins, please.
Hoskins?
Yeah.
That's two nil for the Hosks.
Two nil for Hoskins?
De Niro is, you know, come on.
De Niro is.
Yeah.
We've got Daniel.
Hello, Daniel.
Hello.
How are you doing?
I'm okay, thanks.
What are you voting for?
Is it going to be Hoskins or De Niro?
It's got to be Bobby De Niro, eh?
Yeah.
Bobby De Niro?
Well done, there we go.
Have you heard these songs before?
I have.
I've got the DVD.
Oh, nice one.
So there we go.
Thanks for calling, Daniel, and thanks for buying our DVD.
So what's that?
2-1 to Hoskins.
I need another couple of votes for De Niro.
Let's see if Gail can do that.
Hello, Gail.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm very well, thank you.
You're very well.
You sound bloody posh.
No, I live in Wales at this thing.
OK, well done for not being posh.
Who are you voting for, Gail?
It's gotta be De Niro.
Poppy De Niro?
Wow.
It has to be.
This is gut-wrenching.
So it's two-all.
Uh, Gail, well done.
Thanks for calling you in that album as well.
So, Ben.
Hello, Ben.
Hi there.
So you've got the deciding vote.
This is monumental.
It is.
I feel the power running through me.
The deciding vote.
The decider.
I think they call him the decidor.
The decidor.
Er, it's amazing.
It's the last It Is In The Dark before our summer break.
I feel so privileged.
It's so significant.
So, Ben, what's it going to be?
Is it going to be Bob Hoskins or Robert De Niro?
And again, leave a pause before you tell us the answer like they do on telly.
A strangely long pause.
Right, my vote for This Is In The Dark is... Bob...
That wasn't a very long pause.
Well, it's a VHS, but it's a spoof of a DVD.
That's fine, yeah, that's great.
It's like a DVD commentary on VHS.
It's part of the joke!
So, thanks for calling.
Can you see the pictures as well, please?
Of course.
Oh, fantastic.
Thanks for calling, Ben, and hey, thanks to everybody who listens to our show regularly.
Ben sounded genuinely enthusiastic.
He did, he's lovely.
All our callers are lovely, all our listeners are lovely, and we've had a great time over the last, whatever it's been, eight months, and we'll be back in September
And we'll leave you in the capable hands of Ricky and Steve, who are coming back for six weeks, and then after them, who knows who it'll be.
Who knows.
And it's to represent us until mid-September.
And, you know, if you're in Edinburgh at all this year for the festival, do come along and see my show.
It'll be called I, Pavel.
about my sort of East European animated character.
Before then, you can catch me and my comedy evening, The Out of Focus Group at the Zetter Hotel.
Z-E-T-T-E-R, look it up on the web and you can get details.
The next one of my evenings is going to be on Wednesday the 15th of June.
A few XFM listeners came along to last week's one and it was really nice to meet them.
Yeah, I'm definitely going to come down.
I lied and didn't come down last weekend because I went to see Darren Brown do magic.
You got to get your priorities straight, man.
I'm definitely going to come down a week on Wednesday.
Fantastic.
Well, listen, have a great summer, chaps.
Don't die in the heat wave and take care of yourselves.
And we really look forward to being with you again in September.
And this does have music in it, what you're about to hear.
It starts off with a bit of cinematic drama.
So try and paint a picture of Dickensian London, cobbled streets, tilty buildings, and along the street comes Bobo Hoskins.
God bless you.
One and all, bye.
Ooga booga, another beautiful morning in old London town.
Here comes the baker's boy with his delicious fresh-warm buns.
Morning, Mr. Skins.
Morning, son.
And here's lovely Lily the flower seller.
Morning, Mr. Skins.
You're as pretty as the morning sun, Lily.
Hi you, Mr. Hoskins!
There's the hurdy-gurdy man.
Morning, Mr. Hoskins!
Here comes the pearly king queen.
Morning, Mr. Hoskins, how are you?
Morning, Your Highnesses.
Here, Mr. Hoskins, tell us one of your stories about the making of Super Mario Brothers, please.
Nah, you've heard them all a thousand times.
Then sing us a song, Mr. Hoskins, please.
Alright, but on one condition.
What, Mr. Hoskins, anything?
That from now on, you all call me Bobo.
Sing us a song, Bobo!
Alright then.
Woah, tickle me fancy, have a banana What a palaver, oval and bush Apples and pears, scraffle me nuts I'm off to stick me to wag on me brush Long me good Friday, rag on me, Rawney, Roger me, Rabbit, Mona me, Leeza, Mo me, mates, blue me, ice Spank me behind for just two and six
Come on, everybody!
Furlies, apples and pears, buckets of fun and a barrel of lass.
Naughty old Nancy, slapping her knees.
Shawzy on Sally, jelly me hills.
Long me good Friday, ragged me, rawning.
Roger me, rabbit, moaning me leaves.
A cock on me, coppers, twizzling me stick.
Spanking me behind for just two and six.
Hurray!
Come Mr. Hoskins, sing us another please.
Yes, what about one more Mr. Hoskins?
Sorry everybody, that's all I've got time for.
Oh, please, Mr. Bobo!
Nah, nah, children.
Mr. Hoskins is a busy man.
We heard you've agreed to appear in a low-budget film for only tuppence an hour.
That's right, and I'm gonna be late if I don't hurry up.
Bless you, Mr. Hoskins.
You're one in a million.
Good day to you, Mr. Hoskins.
Good day to you too, son.
You stay out of mischief.
I'll try my best, Mr. Hoskins.
Good day, Mr. Hoskins, sir.
Toodle-pip, Lily.
Be lucky.
Good day to you, Mr. Hoskins.
Ah, what a perfect morning.
Ooga booga.
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