Hello, listeners.
Uh, this is Adam and Joe on XFM.
Welcome to our two hours of radio programme.
That was Jack Johnson, uh, sitting, wishing- no, sitting, waiting and wishing.
Yeah, he wouldn't be sitting, wishing.
No, no.
He's sitting, waiting and wishing.
Before that, uh, press dong and the Ordinary Boys, uh, with Boys Will Be Boys.
He's so handsome.
Why didn't he win?
Because he's, yeah, too handsome.
Too handsome?
Yeah.
Did you vote at all, Joe Quash?
No.
No, not throughout the entire thing.
Never voted on Big Brother in my life, never bought a lottery ticket in my life.
Really?
There's various principles I stand by, yeah.
You don't take part?
Yeah, what about self-esteem, self-worth?
No, no, I got rid of all that.
Did you vote?
You bet.
You idiot.
Do you want to have a little peek into my Wednesday night?
Yeah.
because i just got totally i mean i've been obsessed with the the whole series of big brother this time around yeah celebrity one and wednesday night did you watch that one the big argument oh of course yes my heart was just racing on the sofa i was completely out of control shouldn't take speed while you watch it
I didn't take any speed.
That was the thing that confused me.
No speed, but yeah.
Wednesday night, no speed night.
The symptoms.
Yeah, the symptoms.
And were you not freaking out on the sofa watching it?
Which precise bit is this, when everyone was, when Galloway was... Yeah, yeah, the big argument, when Galloway went totally mental on Preston.
Kindly, yeah, it was exciting, it was exciting.
I just couldn't, I could hardly breathe.
I got so anxious, I was about to cry or shout or, it was terrible.
And immediately afterwards, I just ran straight to the phone.
Yes, I'm destroying you with my phone, you freaky cat pretending man.
Thank you for calling Celebrity Big Brother.
You have voted for George.
Feel the power of my dialing finger, you libel case winning pig.
Thank you for calling Celebrity Big Brother.
You have voted for George.
There's another one, you ludicrous, Cuba top wearing cigar pants.
They just went on.
How long does this go on for?
Quite about two hours.
Really?
So you were the one?
I was pretty much the one.
You got Galloway out?
Yeah.
Wow.
I've got a big phone bill now, but it was worth it.
That's amazing.
I couldn't stop myself, but I didn't vote for who should win.
That was the thing.
Right.
I was going to remiss.
By then I didn't really care that much, but I was disappointed that Presdong didn't get it.
Presdong.
Hey listen, we should, before we go on and talk about that sort of stuff, we should tell listeners what we're giving away, just in case, you know, people need more motivation to listen.
We're giving away five copies of Beck's new, you can probably say this properly, Adam, Guero-lito.
His remix album, which is supposed to be fantastic, remixes by Ad-Rock, Dizzy Rascal, Air and more.
We've got five copies of those to give away for Dizzy's in the Dark.
I love and more.
I'm excited about my Dizzy for Dizzy's in the Dark.
Are you?
Do you think you want a winner?
Yeah.
Well, I really want to play it.
Yeah.
I want people to hear it.
Mmm.
No, no, I think they'll probably lose.
But, er, we've also got a pair of tickets to see Gerry Sedowitz at the Soho Theatre.
That's a fantastic show, magic and insulting, sweary comedy.
Er, he's brilliant, of course.
And a pair of tickets to see the Pete and Dud, er, comedy night, sort of tribute night, er, at Ronnie Scott's this Tuesday.
Loads of brilliant comedians on the bill.
Er, so we've got all that to give away.
Have we not got any DVDs or videos, Xanthi?
DVDs or videos?
Everybody likes DVDs.
Everybody loves DVDs!
We've got vanity fairs.
No!
That's not a DVD, that's a... Xanthi wouldn't give us one or two... That's a lady nightmare.
What?
No.
What, vanity fair with Reese Witherspoon in it?
Yeah.
That's not a proper prize.
That's been hanging around here for months, hasn't it?
Anyway, we're making up for it with tickets and CDs.
So, you know, if you want to text us at any point, 83XFM, uh, when it's competition time, the phone number is 08712221049, and we've got, uh, have we got celebrity regression coming up this weekend?
We've got a regression, yeah.
Fantastic.
And... Xanthi, go and steal some stuff off other people's desks.
A goody bag, like one of those rubbish goody bags they give away on other stations.
Saturday, it's Saturday, there's no one here, it's just us in XFM.
Yeah, it's such a beautiful day as well.
Don't you think?
What a lovely day.
I'm very happy today.
It's kind of perfect, really, because people... It's too cold, actually, to go and gamble.
I love that kind of day, though.
Yeah, it's perfect.
Clear, sunny and frosty.
Absolutely.
Well, here's some clear, sunny, frosty music from the Rakes.
Who was that then?
That's a brand new playlist edition, Joe Cornish.
What?
That's the Rakes.
But we always play the same 20 records on this show.
Shh, don't talk.
Over and over again.
I won't say things like that.
How do we have a new one?
No, I like it.
It's new.
It gradually changes.
It's imperceptible to the human ear, but music is changing very gradually.
And what was that one by?
Who?
That was the Rakes with All Too Human, another of the kind of, um...
lad-y, shout-y, boy-band people.
You mean the brand new single from the East London Quartet coming out through V2 follow-up to 22 Grand Job, which was released last October?
Exactly.
How is it changing then?
What was the progress in that record?
What was different?
What was the tiny iota of difference?
The chant at the end.
How was that new?
That's a new- a new type of chant.
There was a couple of notes that were different from other chants that have been used before.
Man, that's exciting.
But it was good.
And did you go out and buy the, uh, Arctic Monkeys record this week?
No.
No?
Why are you smirking?
Because- There's no smirking.
Because a friend bought it.
Oh, right.
And I burnt it off.
That's not very good, is it?
Am I going to be arrested and fined £50 million like those idiots from the BPI?
Did you read about that this week, listeners?
Did you read about that?
That poor man fined tens of thousands of pounds for file sharing by the BPI?
Who was this?
some postman in Manchester or something.
But was he going out and then burning CDs and flogging them or something?
No, no, he just had files up to share.
Really?
You know, I know it's wrong and everything, and this is an old argument, but I can't help thinking it makes the BPI quite evil.
Do they do the Brits?
I don't like them anymore.
I think they do, yeah.
The Arctic Monkeys aren't playing at the Brits, they don't want anything to do with it.
Really?
And the BPI, if they're not too careful, they'll alienate all young music listeners.
It's a thorny issue, isn't it?
It's a thorny issue.
I'm not going to be any more controversial than that, but you know, if I was making a film and I was looking for a villain, I might just choose the BPI.
Yeah.
Yeah?
The BPI.
The British Punts.
Yeah, go on.
Idiots!
The British Ponzi Idiots!
Oh, that's what I call them, the Brits!
What does Brits stand for?
Bloody rubbish industry tits meetings.
No, it doesn't end with an S. Sandwiches.
Sandwiches, yes.
Take that, Britishly industry.
Smoke it in a big dirty pipe.
I'm exhausted.
Now, I had a couple of ideas for text competitions this week, Joe Cornish, but which one are we going to go with?
I think we should go with yours.
I don't think mine's fully developed.
You reckon?
Yeah.
But we don't do text yet, Adam.
We don't do text till the top of the hour.
No, that's true.
I'm going to do regression next.
Just checking.
Yeah, we'll do regression very shortly, but I'd like to play the first of a few free plays this week.
This is a song from The Breeders, and it was on their single, Cannonball.
It's not Cannonball.
It's a song called Crow Aloha.
This is The Breeders.
As the breeders, this is Adam and Joe on XFM.
We're going to take a break very shortly and then come back with competition time this week, which is celebrity regression therapy.
The number for that and for anything else as well is 0-8-7-1-2-2-2.
What do you mean anything else?
1-0-4-9.
Personal, sexual and emotional problems?
Yes.
Yeah.
Plumbing.
Yeah.
Just someone to chat to.
We should do some emotional problem stuff.
Do you remember?
We should.
Did you remember, you used to listen to uh... Well she's back.
Sexual and marital problems on LBC.
Anna Rabin, she's back on LBC.
Anna Rabin, the capital doctor.
Yeah, yeah, she's back at lunch times.
I can't plug other radio stations, but she is.
I bet you it's not as filthy as it used to be.
I think it's filthier, you can be filthier in the daytime.
Really?
Yeah, don't you remember?
Richard and Judy checking testicles and stuff.
Yeah, that's true.
You can be dirty.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
But not on a Saturday, Adam.
No, no, absolutely.
And this is a family show.
Exactly.
So let's have some adverts, because, uh... Family adverts.
Kids love adverts.
Looking forward to any particular one?
Oh, I don't know.
Hopefully there'll be some new ones.
Uh, I want to hear some more about the, uh, the tax and how, um, tax doesn't have to be taxing.
Yeah.
You know, I hope there are some families at home who'll cuddle up together, put their arms around each other and listen to these adverts.
Yeah.
Enjoy.
XS Family.
Love music.
Love XFM.
Yeah, that's the Gorillaz with Feel Good Incorporated.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.
We are about to perform a celebrity regression.
You just never know.
So sharpen up your brain and get ready to play!
The number to call is 0 8 7 1 2 2 2 1 0 4 9.
That's 0 8 7 1 2 2 2 1 0 4 9.
We've got Vanity Fair DVDs up for grabs.
Sir, what could be more exciting than that?
three three yeah and also tickets for things and stuff so if you do win you will be amply rewarded we promise you so this is the competition adam is going to be regressed into the uh life of a film star and he's going to wake up in their brains and experience some of their films happening around him
Now because this week it's relatively easy, I'm going to make the rules a bit more specific.
People have to not only name the actor and the films, but the names of the characters he's playing.
The names of the three characters.
So we want three film titles, three character names, and the actor's name.
Man, well, you know, it's a big prize.
Vanity Fair on GBD.
All of Vanity Fair.
Yeah, so better set a toughie.
Well done.
So here we go.
Call 0871 222 1049 the moment you know who Adam is being.
Well, we should make the prize a bit better.
You can choose.
How about that?
Yeah, we will make it better.
You can choose.
It's either Vanity Fair or tickets to some of those amazing shows.
I tell you what, we'll throw in a copy of Highlander as given away free in the news of the world.
We'll sign it.
What could get better than that?
but tickets to the Jerry Sadovitz show or, um, or to the Pete & Dud.
Or the Pete & Dud, uh, brilliant, brilliant prizes.
So here we go, let's ring the regression bell and get the correct atmosphere.
Okay, remember you can be regressed along at home as well if you just breathe deeply and relax.
You will find yourself also being regressed into these films.
It'll be like a psychedelic, altered state style Ken Russell experience for you.
So are you ready, Adam?
Yes.
Deep breath, expand the stomach.
In through the nose, out through the bum.
There we go.
And relax.
And Adam is drifting back.
Drifting back.
I'm drifting.
Back and back drifting.
Back drafting.
Into a famous film.
And the head of a famous film star, someone.
We can only imagine what it might be like to be like to be...
Adam, now, wake up and tell us what you can see.
Oh, I'm at a party.
It's the 60s.
It's the 60s, which you can tell because there's swirly projections on the wall and girls in miniskirts dancing by waving their arms in the air as if they were trees in a breeze.
Oh, cotton balls.
And I'm here because I was at every party in the 60s.
And I'm talking to a rock star from a big new group, and he's wearing leather trousers.
And I'm licking my lips in a strange and unusual way, and I'm holding a telephone.
Isn't that odd?
Because that's the kind of person I am, both in real life and in the movies and the characters which I play, cotton balls.
I'm going to have some drugs now, because that's what it was like in the 70s.
Sixties!
In the sixties, everyone was on drugs.
That's... Okay, it's over.
It's only a short scene, but it's something of a highlight in this otherwise fairly dull and pompous film, Cottonballs.
Okay, we're gonna just back Adam out of that film.
O-8-7-1-triple-two-one-o-four-nine.
Sorry, O-8-7-1-triple-two-one-o-four-nine.
Here comes the second film.
Adam, wake up.
Tell us what you can see.
It's the fifties!
I'm a wimp, and I'm being bullied.
Is that it?
Yeah.
That's easy!
I think, I think.
Is that it?
Yes, that's it.
That's such a short regression.
That's an easy one.
This is clinically extraordinary.
The results of this regression may well be published in nature.
Okay, Adam, let's go into the third film.
Wake up and tell us what you can see.
I'm walking down a street, and I'm walking funny because I've got something in my trousers.
Cotton balls.
It's not cotton balls.
It's worse.
I'm not going to say exactly what it is and where they...
you are because that's bad it's bad but i'm an outrageously strange character and that's what i specialize in do you understand me i'm not the main character i'm very seldom the main character unless that's a very bad film which only teenaged outsiders would watch
But I'm often a side character that adds a delicious bit of eccentric spice to a film like a strange chutney, like a guava and chewing gum chutney, for example.
In this movie, for example, I believe that I'm being pursued by aliens wearing rubber gloves who are spoiling the spirit of Christmas and controlling the weather.
Do you get me?
It's unusual, isn't it?
It's strange chutney.
I miss my speciality, Cotton Paul's peculiar... peculiar...
There he goes.
Adam is going to remain in a regressed state until one of you calls 0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9 and guesses correctly the name of the star whose brain he was inhabiting, the name of the films that star was inhabiting and the names of the character in those films that that star was playing.
For God's sake call now!
Yeah, man, I don't even know what that was.
And I can't ask Adam because he's regressed, but I think it was a million ways by OK Go.
Brilliant.
OK, well, Adam has been regressed into the head of a famous film star.
And we've got Simon King on the line who thinks he might know what the films are and what the star is and what the names of the characters are.
Hello, Simon.
Hello.
We're asking that's very, very well said.
Hello.
How do you say goodbye?
Ah, see you later!
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Well done, Simon.
Listen, how have you got on working that out then?
Well, I'll be honest with you, I think you did three, didn't you?
And I listened to the first two and rang in, so I didn't catch the last one.
Well, you know, we reward that kind of keenness.
Well, I like to get straight in there.
So listen, basically what I'd like you to do, obviously Adam is still regressed, and if you say that, if you get it wrong, you could damage his brain forever.
OK, I'll be gentle with you.
Yeah, OK.
So let's hear, first of all, who you think the star is.
I think it's Crispin Glover.
That's correct.
Correct.
Absolutely correct.
Adams come out of the regression.
Ooh.
Fantastic.
And what was your deduction there, Simon?
Well, as soon as I heard it's the 60s and there's a sort of colourful projection on the wall, I knew that was the doors.
Yes.
And then as soon as I heard it was a small part and he was speaking in a rather camp voice, I guessed it was Andy Warhol.
There you go.
Now the third one, was the third one when he was being bullied, the very short one?
No, that was the one I heard.
No, that was Back to the Future and George McFly.
I heard that one and then I ran, got my phone and I kind of half heard the third one so I didn't really catch it.
Third one was, uh, he was a guy who believed that he was being pursued by aliens wearing rubber gloves who were spoiling the spirit of Christmas and controlling the weather.
And he was walking strangely.
These are all real bits from the film.
He was walking strangely because he had actually cockroaches in his bottom.
What film is that?
Are you sure that's legal, that film?
Simon, what other Crispin Glover films are there?
There's Ben.
He was in the remake of Ben.
Well, to be honest, I'm struggling.
He's made a weird film in which mentally disabled people burn snails.
Was that Willard?
No.
Oh no, that's right.
Willard is the remake of Ben.
No, this is a weird film that will never be shown at any cinema.
Right.
It's full of dwarves and stuff like that.
He's a genuinely strange guy.
Well listen, let me put you out of your misery.
Uh, seeing as you were our only caller for that competition.
Hey, we didn't have to tell people that.
No, sorry.
The third one was Wild at Heart, and he plays Lula's cousin, Del.
Oh god, I haven't seen that for years.
It's a good film.
Yeah.
Hey Simon, thanks for calling, and you know, sincerely thanks for calling, we really mean that.
And do you want a copy of Vanity Fair?
Um, I've not heard of it, but yeah, why the hell not?
Yeah, look, it's got Bob Hoskins in it.
Oh, they're my favourite.
It's gotta be good, ooga booga.
So you can have that.
And that's it, shall we go on and give them tickets?
Do you want tickets to go and see one of those things Jerry Satterwhite saw the comedy night at Ronnie Scott's?
I reckon Jerry Satterwick, if that's all right.
Absolutely.
Will you actually go, Simon?
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, I think he's good.
He's a very funny man.
Man, he's fantastic.
That'll be a great night.
Congratulations.
Thank you for calling.
Well done, Simon.
And you know, that's a little hint to anyone else listening.
It could be very easy to acquire some quite attractive booty on the radio this afternoon.
so don't hesitate to call for the other competitions in the show but you know just because we've only got one caller doesn't mean we haven't got hundreds and thousands of people listening some people sometimes people don't call because they think i'll never get through that's right it'll be impossible there were so many people i'll never get through yeah so that's why some you know people didn't call there
Crispin Glover, he's a strange one.
Have you seen that clip?
I'm not gonna bother.
Have you seen the clip of... Maybe I should just go.
Don't worry about it, man.
OK.
It's fine.
Go on.
People are just zonked out after... There was a calling frenzy last night with Big Brother.
That's true.
People are tired.
People are called out.
I was gonna ask you if you'd seen that clip of Crispin Glover on David Letterwood.
We've still got the Regression music.
It's slightly freaking me out.
OK.
Thank you.
there we go hello what have you seen the clip of Crispin Glover on David Letterman being weird being very weird kicking him trying to kick him in the head just yeah doing like a karate kick just being incredibly strange and Letterman doesn't know how to deal with it at all and just ends up sort of ridiculing him to the band guy
You know Letterman's fan?
The fan guy.
What's that guy called?
I don't know.
George or something.
I can't remember.
It's quite an excruciating TV moment.
Anyway, this is Adam and Joe on XFM.
We'll be back extremely shortly.
This is XFM.
I am a robot.
I run on batteries.
I've released a single.
It is called... What was that?
I was ready for quite a lot more of that.
Oh, Goldfrapp.
Was that?
Yeah.
Ride a white horse.
A dirty robot.
What a dirty robot.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.
That's slightly the theme of our Ditties in the Dock, is it not?
Dock.
Dirty robots.
Ditties in the Dock.
It is.
Listeners, stay tuned because just before three we'll be playing Ditties in the Dock and you can win a copy of Beck's new remixed Geralito album.
which is supposed to be fantastic.
Absolutely, that's good, good prize action there.
That good prize.
That is good prize.
Now listen, I just want to ask you a question.
I'm not sure, this is all unsubstantiated, so forgive me if it's a bit woolly.
But you know the Land Rover ad, uh, with the Eskimo man who is on, uh, a sled which is being pulled by huskies in a snow-bound piece of terrain, and the Land Rover pulls up next to him and, uh,
overtakes him in fact and the Eskimo man in the course of looking into the Land Rover and admiring its luxurious interior gets bounced clean off his sled and is left just in the snow sort of going come back come back as it as he watches his sled disappear into the snow
It's horrific.
And the Land Rover just carries on right past.
You know, the guy driving the Land Rover just looks at his dog and sort of goes- So not only is he contributing to global warming and the, uh, uh, deterioration of the polar ice caps, which are the habitat for that Eskimo- That's true.
But he's actually knocking the Eskimo physically over.
He- he wasn't responsible for knocking the Eskimo over.
But he didn't stop and go back for the Eskimo when he was knocked off his sleigh.
And this is a Land Rover driver.
Yeah.
And this is an advert for Land Rovers.
It's an advert for the way that Land Rover drivers behave.
Land Rover.
Inculturated.
And he- I mean, he's pretty much leaving the Eskimo to perish in those conditions, I would say, because his huskies have taken off.
They're not coming back.
He's just standing there, you know, in just a world of whiteness and freezes and freezes.
Sorry, I just got a text.
You gotta text.
Keep talking.
Come on, find out.
Let's find out what it is.
No, keep talking.
I wanna know more about the Eskimo.
Anyway, I was just curious as to whether anyone else felt the same way as me, and also whether people can confirm whether it's been taken off, because I haven't seen the ad for a few weeks, and I think I got the feeling that maybe it had been taken off because people were sorry for the Eskimo, and then somebody told me yesterday that it's come back, but now they picked the Eskimo up.
No.
Yeah.
Do you think they've actually gone back to Iceland, where Eskimos live, and re-shot it?
Well, I was thinking about this,
Uh, no, surely not.
They would have shot multiple endings, wouldn't they, at the time?
I don't know, you never know.
And then just tested out which way it was going to go with the public.
I'd be very keen to find out what the answer was.
If one of our advertising friends, listeners, wants to give us a call, or anyone else can confirm or deny that, I'd be very, very grateful.
OK, well, I've got an advert that's obsessing me at the moment.
It's for lockets.
Oh, yeah.
You might want to talk about it after a record.
What's your text?
I can't, it's someone saying do I want to go and see Munich or Hidden?
Have you not seen Munich yet?
No.
I keep thinking it's a remake of the Charles Band 80s director video film Munchies.
And then get very disappointed that it's actually about politics and stuff.
But it's an action thriller though isn't it?
It's two letters away from being munchies.
You just want to go and see munchies.
I want to see munchies on the big screen again.
With Eric Bana.
You're a loser!
Which segues brilliantly into this next track.
That's the track that will follow Beck around for the rest of his life, whatever he does.
Whenever he pops up in a magazine underneath a picture of him, it'll just say, Beck, he's a loser, baby.
But if you're a fan of Beck, and let's face it, who isn't, remember we're giving away his remix album, Guralito, for everyone who gets through for Ditties in the Dock towards three o'clock, towards the end of the show.
And that is a fantastic album, that remix album.
I'm saying that even though I haven't heard it.
But you imagine, yeah.
But the cover art's fantastic.
Apparently it's great.
So listen, listeners, and Adam, I'd like to highlight the advert that annoys me the most on television at the moment.
Oh, speaking of which though, can I just clear up the Volvo problem I was having?
A couple of people have phoned in.
Land Rover, you mean?
Sorry, yes, Land Rover problem, yeah.
The Land Rover ad where the Eskimo gets bounced off his sled.
A couple of people have confirmed that there is another ad that shows the Eskimo cosily inside
the Land Rover being driven to safety, having been picked up by the Land Rover driver.
So thank you very much for that.
Thank you Land Rover.
The advert that really annoys me, it's more than annoys me, it actually scares me.
Yes.
It terrifies me because I think it's been made with the involvement of Satan is the locket's ad.
Locket's of course the foul tasting lozenges.
Delicious.
Do you think they're delicious?
They make me feel ill.
You know, illness sweets, they just taste like illness because you only have them when you're ill.
I don't know, locket's to me are revolting.
But anyway, the actual quality of the product is beside the point because this advert, the tagline for it is proud sponsors of the British winter.
So they're trying to take an ironically positive view of the British winter, so they filmed this montage of terrible things happening in winter.
A robin falling off a branch, a jogger slipping on the ice, smashing his back on concrete, an old man jumping into a freezing lake like they do at the Serpentine.
Do they still do that?
What?
Old men jump in the serpentine on Winters Day or something.
Winters Day, is that a day?
Winters Day?
No, I don't know.
Not a national holiday.
Like Christmas Day.
Oh, it's Winters Day.
A man on the escalator sneezes all over the hair of the woman in front.
A little boy gets his tongue frozen to a post.
And then at the end, a policeman pops a locket in his mouth.
And then he gets hit in the ear with a snowball.
And it goes, locket, proud sponsors of the British winter.
but that's not my problem my problem is the music yeah the music is a perfectly kind of nice advert tune but for some unfathomable reason they've got they've tortured someone recorded their scream and put it on this music and i don't for the life of me know why have a listen so it starts off perfectly nice there's the bloke falling on the ice and here comes the scream
Here it comes again.
And one final time, this is the copper getting the snowball in the ear.
Oh man.
Why would you put that scream on that advert?
I assumed that it was a scream that was already in a track that they had used.
Could it be?
Well, yeah, just some weird house track, dance track thing.
I don't know.
But it's, what are they saying?
Yippee?
Or scrimmy?
Yippee!
What?
I don't understand that.
If anyone can solve that riddle and mystery and, you know, tell me why, uh, you know, a product like Locketts would put an advert out that is just frankly terrifying and unsettling, then I'd be very, uh, pleased.
Very grateful indeed.
It is horrible.
As I say, I'm pretty sure that the scream is already in that piece of music.
Well, it scares me.
And I ain't not buying lockets anymore until they change it.
Yeah, quite right, Joe.
Ban the lockets.
I shall have another one called Tunes or- No, no, I meant- Dingley Throaties.
Lockets are lovely men.
Lockets are one of the things as a child- You're mad.
That I would go out and happily buy and eat.
You're mad.
I hate lockets.
Do you like lockets?
What a great thing to chat about.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM.
Have we got more music?
Yeah, I'm gonna play a track now.
This is a free play.
Listen, you're taking the Lord's name in vain an awful lot this afternoon, okay?
There's a lot of religious listeners out there who are gonna be turning off the radio now because of all the Lord's name in vain you're taking.
Is that a grunt of contrition?
Sorry.
Sorry, Jesus.
I'm gonna play a track.
I'd like to apologize personally to Jesus.
Leave Jesus alone.
All right then.
What would Jesus do in this situation?
What would Jesus do?
Jesus would say- If he was accused of blaspheming.
Here's a track from one of the big albums of last year.
Again, I say this, but it wasn't a massive
a massive seller.
It was an album that people said was great and I finally got round to buying it and sure enough it is really good.
And it's the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah album.
They sound an awful lot like Talking Heads but in a good way and people say that about lots of bands but this guy's vocal mannerisms are certainly very reminiscent of early Burn.
We'll be the judge of that.
Stick it on.
This is a track called, oh man I've forgotten what it's called, it's got a ridiculous, it's called something like, I'll just put it on.
There you go.
Let's clap your hands, say yeah.
If I take the CD out, I can tell you that was called Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood.
That's what he's chanting in the middle there.
We've had mixed reaction to that, Adam.
Charles stars, Charles stars, Charles stars, Charles stars.
Charles dance, Charles dance, Charles dance, Charles dance.
Child stars, he sang.
Some people are loving that.
Some people are hating it.
Are hating it.
There you go.
They are getting into cars and they are going into bars.
I love that stuff.
That's very Bernie, isn't it, Burnesque?
Yeah.
OK, this is Edmond Joe on XFM.
Into our second hour.
The ad break's a bit late.
Sorry about that, ad fans, but here it is.
XFM.
That's the editors with the theme to Charles Band's direct-to-video 80s classic Munchies.
A bit like Critters, but cheaper.
Munich.
Oh, sorry.
By Iditors, as Zane Lowe would have it on the advert.
Iditors.
Sounds a bit like Idi- Idi- Idi- Idi- Idi-
So, thank you listeners who texted in to explain the logic behind the locket's advert.
We were just discussing, trying to figure out why it has a terrifying satanic scream on it.
Well done, Alan, playing the scream again.
This is it.
Here it comes.
Oh no.
so apparently the answer is it's a it's a now where's that uh text gone it's a kid loco remix and that scream is in the music they haven't actually put it in and someone else says it's french oh yeah this is from matt the music is saying
Yuppie.
Y-O-U-P-I, which is a French exclamation of joy.
Like, what, it's the French for Yuppie, is it?
Well, Yuppie, is that right?
Yuppie.
We both studied French to O-level level.
So if you say Yuppie, a French person would say, I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Do you mean Yuppie?
What?
I wasn't listening.
It's French for Yippie.
For Yippie?
Yeah.
Yes.
Is that true?
I think we need another French person to confirm that.
So it's, well in that case, is it clever?
He's saying Yippie and yet it sounds like, I don't know, I hate it anyway.
But thanks for sorting it out.
I don't like it.
Don't want that, thanks for my me.
There you go.
Okay, so text competition time, now that it's the second hour.
And for this text competition, I want to remind you of a scene in Cocktail.
Sound like a teacher.
Yeah.
I'm quite frightened about this text competition.
Good, good, you should be.
It's like some sort of exam.
For this text competition, Joe Cornish, stop sniggering if you've got something to say, say it to the whole class.
let me remind you of a scene in cocktail the Tom Cruise classic film in which Tom is enthused by the notion that someone could become a millionaire by inventing something so tiny and seemingly unimportant that it doesn't even have a well-known name like for example the plastic bits on the end of laces okay they do have a name what are they called I don't know but they do have a name
Ah, but you can't, it doesn't spring readily to mind.
If there's a listener who's got access to the internet, I bet you someone will text us the name for the little things on the end of laces almost instantly.
Well, in the film, the point of the scene is that they don't have a name in cocktail, or at least they don't have a name that springs to mind easily, and that's the point of this text competition.
So Cruz calls them flugelbinders.
That's the name.
Okay.
That's the name, that's what I was thinking of.
Flugelbinders.
Anyway, so that's kind of what I want people to do, uh, in this text competition, is to identify things that are not readily nameable.
Everyday objects and things and expressions, whatever, things that we're all familiar with, that don't have a name that you can easily think of.
Here's another example.
When you're on the phone, uh, the, the clicker that cuts off the call... Right.
What, on an old-style phone?
On, on an old-fangled phone.
Yeah.
What do you call that?
You know in movies where they get cut off and they start clicking and saying, hello, hello?
Click, click, click, click, click.
What do you call that clicker?
The clicker.
No, it's not.
You just call it a clicker.
I know, but that's for want of anything more hilarious to call it.
So there's sort of two layers to the text competition.
You've got to identify something that needs a name.
Yeah.
And then name it.
Exactly.
Right.
Here's another example, which we- And it can't just be your new dog.
No.
Who'd be called- who should be called Woofles.
Woofle, exactly.
Yeah.
Woofle.
So there's no competition there.
But it's an inanimate object.
The name you seek is woofle.
So it needs a name.
But it doesn't necessarily have to be an object.
We spoke about this before.
I wanted people to name, so for example you've got the whistle, okay, and the raspberry, right, but what's the name for this noise?
That's the burble.
No, you see, the burble.
Of course it's the burble, it's onomatopoeic.
The burble?
That is not commonly known as a burble.
Anyway, you're welcome to name the clicker and the... that noise, okay?
But anything else that you want to identify and name would be great.
So you can text in 83XFM is the address to text into.
You can also... Someone's already texted in Aglet.
What does that mean?
Is that the name of the little thing at the bottom of the lace?
What's Aglet?
I don't know.
You have to say what you're talking about.
You can't just text in Aglet.
That's meaningless.
That's probably the only text we'll get.
They've probably won with Aglet.
Well, we'll see.
You know, you can text on 83XFM, or you can also enter by email, adamandjoe at xfm.co.uk.
Now, here's some music.
This is from an exciting young, I think she's Scottish woman, and she's called, she's called Katie Tunstall.
But here's the thing.
You'd think that with a name like Katie, it would be spelled K-A-T-Y wrong.
It's just the letters K T and then Tunstall.
Deal with that Cornish.
Thank you, Katie Tunstall, for singing Under the Weather to us.
That's what it was, wasn't it, Adam?
Yeah, exactly.
Very enjoyable.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM.
We've had a few texts in already.
The text competition is to name things that have not yet got names.
It's kind of a two-level competition.
Think of something that doesn't have a name and then name it, and we've got some good ones already.
couple of people saying that the phone clicker thing to cut off your call is called a cradle wrong the cradle is what holds the handset the actual button that you press it used to be two little things that stuck up on an old fangled phone and now for a lot of phones it's just one sort of button the end of a lace is an aglet the little according to several people who texted in the bit of the bit of plastic yeah so Tom Cruise is wrong flugelbinder cruise isn't it
Ricky and Steve laugh
There should be a name for that as well.
There's something else to name.
Innie, outie, the third one, just a mess, one that's a mess.
Do you know anybody who's got a mess?
No, have you?
Yeah, I've got a friend who's just got a mess.
Really?
It's not a mess, it's just like scar tissue.
Oh.
It's not unattractive, it's just not an innie or an outie, therefore it needs a name.
Just- it's just a total- Throwing that- throwing that out there.
So it's not neat is what you're saying, it's just a kind of- It's not neat.
Like a bullet wound.
Yeah, he's actually not in London at the moment, so he's probably not listening.
I'm quite worried about it.
Um, anyway- So what have you got there?
I don't know.
Uh, what?
I thought you said you had a good one.
Give me more time, man, I've got to sort through this, I can't just read out random texts- Someone texted in Pips?
What were they talking about Pips for?
As the clicker on the phone?
They're coming in too fast, I can't keep up- No, that's totally off-beam.
Oh, but I-
Well, I can't say Jesus anymore because you take me off.
I noticed that Russell Brand, he didn't get, uh, punished, but someone mentioned it on the show, like, why does he keep saying Harry Krishna at the end of, uh, Big Brother's Big Mouth?
presumably, because he's Hare Krishna.
I don't know.
But a couple of people were complaining about it.
Look, put another record on, man, and I'll sort through these texts, cos there's lots coming in.
Oh, here we go.
The collection of blue fluff, sometimes found in men's bellybuttons.
Oh, why is it gone again?
I thought that was called lint.
No, well, someone's naming it Tumps.
Tumps?
T-U-M-P-S.
That's good.
Here we go.
The collection of blue fluff, sometimes found in men's bellybuttons, should be known as Tump.
From Julie and Bromley.
That's the best one so far.
Tum.
Not tumps, just tump.
Why- how does that- how's she made up that word?
That's a good word.
Tummy.
What's- where does the ump come from?
Well, where does the P come from?
You can see the T-U-M is derived from tummy.
I'm just thinking of, uh, when it goes in the dictionary, what'll be written beneath it.
Yeah.
Derived from tummy and purr?
Tummy, purr.
Plump.
Julie, what are you thinking of?
Is your name Julie?
I don't know.
That's a good one, though.
Tump is nice.
That's very poetic.
Listen, put a record on.
I'll sort through these.
It's not always blue, though.
It's only blue if you're wearing a blue shirt or a blue sweater.
No, she's specified that it's men and it's blue.
She thinks that maybe women have pink fluff.
Maybe that's where the whole colour-coding of girls are pink, blues are boys come from.
It's the colour of the fluff.
It's the colour of the tump.
Oh, this is an amazing show.
That is a Swedish outfit called The Concrete and the song is called Chosen One, the first single to be taken from their second album, In Colour, which comes out on March the 6th.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM.
We are going to be resolving our text competition very shortly just to remind people that we want you to identify things that aren't readily nameable or perhaps don't have proper names as yet and then we want you to name them.
So sort of talking about various jeans and thong combinations and giving those sort of things names isn't quite right because that's more of a fashion style, okay, which you're naming.
We want you to name actual things of some kind.
Are you telling them off?
No, I'm not.
Are you telling the listeners off?
I'm giving them extra guidelines.
Okay.
I'm just scribbling down stuff where we go got some great texts.
I mean the next link is gonna be brilliant Wow so stick with it
killers they're going for the fade-out on all these things that I've done this is Adam and Joe on xfm yeah and it's time to put our text competition to bed we've been asking you to name things that need naming and we've had some very very good ones in here we go you ready for these Adam yeah hit me the spike what
I can't read my own handwriting.
The spike at the top of the lid used for popping open glue tubes.
Oh yes.
When you take the thing off a glue tube.
And you flip it round.
And you flip it round and you prong it in.
I haven't got a name for it, but they're just saying it needs a name.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Well they haven't named it though.
No, but that's good, they've got it halfway.
I mean that's a well-observed thing that does need a name.
The spike, well I'd be keener to name the sort of
Well, I've thought of a revolting name for it.
Oh, dear.
Listen, I'll carry on talking.
The kind of metal hymen on the, um, on the glue tube.
Hey.
OK.
What is it?
That's what I want to name.
I've said it already.
Let's move on quickly.
You said metal hymen.
Don't say it again.
Uh, belly button fluff could be called belly flowers, says anonymous.
Uh, the screwy bit on a jar or bottle.
the actual bit where the screw shape is.
Well, isn't that called a thread or something?
No, Will has called it the nooble.
The nooble?
Yeah.
The holes in crumpets.
Yeah.
Someone has named... Crump.
Sputal partitions.
Is that right?
Did you put the name?
That person's name, Dan.
Sputal partitions.
That's just insanity.
Was it sputal partitions?
Well, I've got to read out what people have sent in.
Are you sure that's not for something else?
You started this.
Gynecological.
Text competition.
The gap between your eyebrows.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Have they got any good names for that?
A splice or a lium.
Well, lium is no good because lium doesn't have a gap between his eyebrows.
Galaga.
Yeah.
So surely it would be a... a nolium.
A nolium?
Yeah.
That's quite good.
Here's another one.
Here's a good one.
The bit of red plastic on a biscuit wrapper that says peel here.
This is a modern phenomenon.
Biscuits that zip open.
They haven't come up with a name.
This is from NAF in Kent.
I'd call it a bisksip.
Biscksip.
That's quite good.
It's just somewhere to start.
Absolutely.
And anyway, this is our favourite one.
Is Tom on the line?
Can we put him on?
Hello, Tom.
Hello there.
Hey, thanks for letting us call you.
But, you know, your thing is head and shoulders above everybody else's.
Just explain to us what you've come up with.
Or what thing have you identified that needs naming?
Well, the little bits in the middle of a CD case that always crack and fall off.
Yeah, those little teeth, those little plastic see-through prongs.
Yeah.
Well, they're probably called teeth, aren't they?
They're on DVDs as well, aren't they?
And they make it rattle around.
Yeah, yeah, but I know what you mean, and that's something that definitely needs identifying, especially when they snap off.
And what name have you come up with?
I think I'd call that the Gambaccini's Pier, because I think a little bit of Paul Gambaccini dies every day in there.
A CD is badly organised.
Yeah, yeah.
That's brilliant, man.
And when you open a sort of cheap CD-ROM case or whatever, and many of Gambaccini's tears just fall out.
Fall out, yeah.
Because they're see-through and they look like tears, and you've thought of every angle, Tom.
That's genius, man.
You're our number one listener.
What are we going to reward Tom with?
Tom, what do you want?
You can have Vanity Fair on DVD, or you can have tickets to see Jerry Sadevitz, which is tonight.
Or you can go and see Pete & Dud, uh, tribute, tribute thing on Tuesday.
Hello.
Tom, are you there?
I think I'll have to go for the DVD, cos I went to Southampton.
Oh, man.
I forgot we were listened to all over the country.
There we go.
We'll send you that.
Yeah, we'll send you a Reese Witherspoon.
I'm sorry about that.
You deserve more.
But I tell you what, you can give it to your girl and maybe she'll snog you.
Yeah, exactly.
All right, thank you so much for your call.
And that was genius, uh, Gambaccini's tears there, the little teeth in a CD case that so often break off and fall out.
That is brilliantly named by Tom there in Southampton.
Thanks very much indeed to everyone who entered our techs competition there.
They're still coming in.
The hole's in crumpets, crumpet craters.
Crumpet Craters is better than sputal partitions or whatever the hell you said.
I didn't say it.
Yes, you did.
I was nearly following orders.
Okay, here's another free play.
And after this, we're going to launch Ditties in the Dock.
This is the Velvet Underground.
That's a track from the Velvet Underground, the sort of later incarnation of Joe Cornish.
There was one other that I didn't read out.
Oh yeah.
I don't know who it was by but you know we were talking about belly buttons and people having innies and outies and then people whose doctors just made a mess of it and they got a scar.
Yes.
Someone suggested a middle mess.
A middle mess is good.
Yeah that's good isn't it?
Innie and outie and a middle mess.
Jane middle mess.
And you know I find middle messes a bit sexy.
like Jane Middlemas.
Yeah, exactly.
So if you've got one, well done.
I fancy your navel.
There you go.
That track incidentally was called She's My Best Friend by The Velvet Underground.
Hey, and if any- sorry, Adam, if anyone's listening on the net, I just fiddled around with the webcam and I think I might have messed it up.
I think I might have zoomed it in too much or something.
So if you're on the net and you can access the webcam, tell me if it's working because I think I've broken it.
What are you doing fiddling with the webcam?
I was bored.
It's time for Dizzy's in the Dock.
This is the way we close the show every week, and this week up for grabs are copies of Beck's new remix album, Geralito.
And this is the part of the show where Adam and me both pitch a song, and you, the listeners, get to decide which one of our two pitches plays the show out.
And everybody who comes on the air to make their vote will win a copy of that Beck album.
Is that clear?
Yeah, that's perfectly clear.
The phone number, 0871 222 1049.
Here's an easy way to remember it.
0871 2T2 2T2.
ten forty nine yeah very good ah thanks man or as my dad would say oh eight seven one two two two one oh four nine the most complicated way possible wrong grouping my dad goes for when he's reading out phone numbers do you know that yeah old people sometimes do it erroneous grouping
So here we go, this is the theme for this week's Titties in the Dock, and what is the theme this week, Adam?
Well, I might have got it slightly wrong, I understood it to be a kind of robot music theme.
Yeah, kind of robot voice, specifically robot voice.
But a vocoder in there.
A vocoder, yeah, music with a robot voice.
Yeah.
I'm going to pitch mine first.
Basically, I've been playing what I think is the best video game ever made or one of the best video games ever made.
It's called We Love Katamari.
It's a Japanese game.
You play a little green man with a cylindrical head with a tiny sticky ball and you're rolling it along.
You start the game rolling it along the floor of a house.
He's got a cylindrical head and he's got a cylindrical head.
No, he's pushing a little sticky ball.
OK, good.
And you start on the floor of a bedroom and you can pick stuff up like a ball of Blu-Tack.
Are you listening, Adam?
Yes, yes.
It's genuinely the most beautiful game I've ever played.
Visually incredible.
What's the object of the thing?
The object is you roll this ball along and you collect up little objects, pins, you know, sticks of gum, and they stick on your ball and roll around.
And basically it gets bigger and bigger.
until you're rolling around in the town of which that house was part and you're picking up the house itself.
Wow.
So you're creating a giant ball and you can pick up people and they wriggle and scream.
Do you remember when I asked you what the object was?
Well the object is to get your ball to a certain size within a time limit.
Right.
It's the cleverest game I've ever played.
It's out on the PS2 next Friday, I think, within a week.
If you own a PS2, you'd be insane not to buy it.
Why am I talking about this for ditties?
Because my bit of music is a bit of music from that video game.
What's it called again?
It's called We Love Katamari, and it's famous for its soundtrack.
It's got a brilliant soundtrack done by proper Japanese musicians, really good weird avant-garde music, and the track I'd like to play is called You Are Smart.
and it simply says you are smart a lot.
So it's good for listeners' self-esteem.
So I'd like you to call 0-8-7-1, tutti tutti tutti, 10-49, that's three twos, 0-8-7-1-triple-two, 10-49, and vote for you are smart from the video game We Love Katamari.
There we go.
So it's telling people that they are smart as opposed to just calling someone an are smart.
I don't know, you'll have to listen to it and figure that out yourself.
Like a big shop that sells arses.
It'd be called an arse mart.
Anyway, sorry.
My track that I want people to vote for is by Kraftwerk, who are, after all, the daddies of robot rock.
And it's a track from their album Computerworld, which everyone probably should own.
You know, it's one of those kind of albums that pops up in
hundred greatest album lists whenever there's one published every couple of weeks but it's a brilliant album and I've rediscovered it recently because my son Frank is he's kind of getting into electronic music because he likes the basicness of it you know the big beats and the the ridiculous robot voices kids that age really like them well I do too but there you go and the track I want you to vote for is called it's more fun to compute and it's an extraordinary track because it starts off with a couple of verses which simply say in a kind of robot voice
It's more fun to compute.
That's pretty much all it says.
But a couple of verses of that, and then it just sort of goes into... The rest of the song is like a coda.
It's just a massive, weird electronic riff.
And it's quite amazing.
It just sort of builds and builds.
It's very trippy and weird in a minimalistic way.
So I want you to vote for Kraftwerk.
with It's More Fun to Compute.
It's between Kraftwerk and what are you going to call yours?
Well, you know, I don't know the name of the artist.
I didn't write it down.
I'm just going to call it You Are Smart.
OK.
So you can vote for Kraftwerk or you can vote for You Are Smart.
Call 0 8 7 1 triple 2 1 0 4 9.
Everyone who gets on the air gets a copy of the Bet Remix album, Geralito.
Please call now.
xfm that's richard ashcroft break the night with color this is adam and joe on xfm it's titties in the dark time
This week it's a play-off between Kraftwerk with a song called what?
It's More Fun to Compute.
And a mysterious Japanese person with music from the fantastic video game we left Katamari called You Are Smart.
I'm not expecting to win.
Do you know what?
I really hope you do.
Do you?
Yeah, because I really want to hear that.
I haven't heard your thing.
All right, man.
OK, here we go.
We've got five callers on the line.
They've already won a copy of Beck's Guero Lito Remix CD.
Let's start with Matt.
Hello, Matt.
Hi there, how you doing?
Good, man.
Are you excited about getting that Bette remix album?
Very excited, actually.
It looks really nice.
It's all got lovely drawings on it and it's in cardboard and stuff.
It's a classy package.
It's a lovely bit of packaging.
Lovely bit of package you got there, mate.
Mate, mate.
What are you up to this afternoon, mate?
I'm painting a picture for my sister-in-law of a plant.
Wow.
Are you using matte paint?
Ha ha ha!
Come on!
Uh, Matt, what are you voting for?
Is it going to be Kraftwerk or you are smart?
Kraftwerk, please.
Oh, you b-busted!
You silly busted!
Uh, well done though, that's rubbish.
You're a bastage.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do, I'm going to write on your Beck CD as a punishment.
I'm not.
Is that your signature?
No, I'm just going to draw a willy.
Matt, thanks very much indeed for your call.
Good luck with your painting.
Thank you.
And, you know, stick with it.
It could turn out to be one of the most valuable paintings in history.
Roland, are you there?
Hello.
How are you?
Very well.
Roland, are you in any way associated with synthesizers?
Synthesizers.
Yeah, like Roland's synthesizers.
Thanks very much for laughing at that.
It wasn't really worth it.
Roland, what are you up to today?
I'm trying to sort out my laptop.
I'm trying to design some T-shirts.
You're trying to sort out your laptop and design some t-shirts?
Yeah.
What kind of a design are you going for on the t-shirts?
Pardon?
What kind of a design on the t-shirts?
A secret.
A secret?
Oh.
What about this as an idea for a t-shirt design?
A picture of George Bush and then put some word underneath it like Muppet or Oy Bush No.
Something like that.
Roland, what are you voting for?
We are smart.
You are smart.
Good man.
Have you heard of We Love Katamari, the video game?
I haven't, no.
Oh man, have you got a PS2?
I don't own any such items.
Oh, you buffoon.
But well-voted.
That's brilliant.
You're going to get that bet, Guadalito, free of any drawings of genitalia in the post to you.
Thank you very much.
Hey Roland, when you design your t-shirts, will you send us some?
I will indeed.
That would be great.
And we'll wear them around town to all our celebrity parties.
George, are you there?
What celebrity parties?
I know.
George?
Hello.
How are you doing, George?
Yeah, fairly well.
George, where are you calling from?
It's central London.
Oh, that's a shame.
I thought you might be one of our new Scottish listeners.
But you're not.
Well, you're Scottish, but you're not in Scotland.
Bit obvious, innit?
Yeah, sorry, I'm a bit... Well, no, we do have listeners in Scotland, you see, George, so it could have been a call from way up there in Gallowayland.
Yeah.
What are your headlines, George?
What's on your mind today?
I'm thinking it can only be Kraftwerk and...
They're the gods of electric, so you've got to... Do you know that track, George?
Yes.
It's quite a peach, isn't it?
Yes.
And my son responded to it so fast when we were listening to it in the car the other day.
It was one of the tracks on that album, Computer World, that I got my head around fairly late in the day, you know, cos you start off with Computer Love, which was the one that Coldplay nicked, obviously, for their track.
My mum also likes Kraftwerk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, blah, blah, blah, crap.
Wind it up, lads.
George, thanks for calling.
Thanks for your call, George.
I'm going to write a rude word on yours.
Claire, is Claire there?
Hello.
Hey, Claire, how you doing?
I'm doing great.
Good.
Excitement's this afternoon, things happening, going down in the hood, up the ends.
I'm packing to go on holiday.
Where are you going?
Yes.
Where, where, where?
Norway.
Oh, that's very fashionable.
What do you do when you get to Norway on holiday?
Just leave again.
Oh, nice one.
Fantastic.
Man, I'm so envious.
Have a fantastic time there, Claire.
What are you going to vote for this afternoon?
I want to vote for the crazy Japanese way.
Well done, Claire.
You're so clever and you're sexy and beautiful.
Have you got a PS2?
No.
Oh, what's going on?
Hey, Claire, listen, please be careful out there, OK?
A friend of mine got back from skiing the other day and said that the first day on the slopes there, they saw someone.
No, no.
When they arrived at the resort on the train, one of their fellow skiers got off the train, immediately slipped over, broke their leg.
No, no.
That's a drag, isn't it?
So, be careful out there, OK?
Claire, have a nice time.
Man, this is gut-wrenching.
Thank you, Claire.
You'll get that copy of Beck's Girlie to a remix album as well.
This is too old, so this is the deciding... Some weeks I don't care, but this week I care, I care.
I really hope that people, someone, has the foresight to see through the obvious and, you know, listen to something new.
OK, well, who's the person who's going to let us know?
Darren?
Hello?
Darren, are you up to this responsibility?
Oh, yeah.
Listen, Darren, I'm going to fade the music down, OK?
Hey, we should do a Big Brother... You should do a Big Brother-style silence before you tell us what you're voting for, Darren.
We want you to count to at least ten.
So we want you to say, Darren, this week I'm voting for... and then count to ten in your head.
And it'll just be an amazing silence.
Here we go.
Go, Darren.
No, you've got to say the words, this week I'm voting for first.
You've got to leave a pause.
The silence is a pause between... Hello, Darren?
Hello, mate.
OK, you ready?
Are you prepared?
I am.
This week I'm voting for... Kraftwerk.
That wasn't it.
That wasn't 10 seconds.
And Andy voted for Kraftwerk on the track for Cornish.
Ah, man.
Darren, thank you so much for your call.
I really appreciate it and thanks to everyone who called in.
I'm gonna play my thing next week as a free play.
And you'll see how wrong you are, you listeners.
Darren, who else was it?
George?
Matt?
Idiots!
Well, here's Kraftwerk playing us out with It's More Fun to Compute this week.
Thank you very much indeed for listening.
Yeah, thanks for everybody who's texted and emailed and called.
We'll be back next week between the hours of 1 and 3 here on XFM.
Don't forget to watch the IT crowd on Friday on Channel 4.
And don't forget to watch the Mighty Boosh on Monday night.
What, are they on telly?
BBC 2, yeah, the first terrestrial transmission.
Of their second series?
Of the second series, yeah.
Fantastic, check that out.
Big comedy events this week on TV.
Here's Kraftwerk, bye, we love you, bye!
XFM.