Don't get that many fades anymore, do you?
I think it's gonna be easy for her to ride on a white horse.
Why?
Well, she can just go to a riding school or one of those parks where they have pony rides in the morning.
Right.
Ride on the horse.
Withdrawal of the single.
Bish, bash, bosh.
Everybody's happy.
Hello, this is Adam and Joe.
This is XFM.
London's 104.9, but also, uh, hearable across the country.
Absolutely.
We've got a great show coming up for you this afternoon.
We've got fantastic prizes.
What prizes have we got, Xanthe?
Fist of Fury.
What is that?
That's an insane martial arts thing.
Yeah.
Right.
Fist of Fury DVDs.
For Ditchies in the Dark, right?
One of those for everybody who calls in.
Wow.
That's good.
That's a good prize, because people love DV... everybody loves DVDs.
We've got Tickets to See the Darkness.
We've got Adam and Joe DVDs.
I'm going to be later playing you some highlights from American Idol.
I'm also going to be investigating the mystery of Paul Kahana.
What's Paul Kahane?
Well, it's a mystery, isn't it?
That is a mystery.
And I'm going to be investigating Paul Kahane later.
I'm going to be investigating the mystery of P-Pulala.
Ooh.
I just made that up, but I've got no, you know, I think maybe you- are you making yours up too?
Paul-Paul Kahane?
No, he's on the TV all the time, Paul Kahane.
Paul Kahane.
Yeah, I'll be telling you more about him later.
Okay.
And, uh, also we've got Crap Commentary Corner coming up in the next 15 minutes or so.
Would you say it's a difficult one or an easy one this
I'd say they're very funny enjoyable clips.
Yeah people making right idiots of themselves.
Yes, but it's pretty easy.
Okay good.
That's nice.
I've got a text competition as well.
Oh brilliant for later on.
I'll tell you all about that later.
And there's Alex Zane.
He's probably going to hang around, you know, for the 19th sexiest man in the world, which he was voted apparently in New Woman magazine.
he certainly spends a lot of time hanging around like a nerd in the offices of XFM playing video games on a Saturday afternoon.
What should he be doing?
Well, he should be out, like, you know- Just with girls caressing him.
Yeah, letting girls lick his face and stuff like that.
That's what the 19th sexiest man- he's right next to Pete Doherty.
Pete Doherty's the 18th sexiest man.
Brad Pitt's the sexiest man.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm gonna have to look at that list.
But he beat Heath Ledger, for goodness sake.
Well, Heath Ledger's a man's man now.
that's true ever since he went up the mountain he's quite literally blown it uh hey just before we play some music i've got a little uh request to xfm listeners people who listen to the station all day every day we were supposed to be sent some playstation 2 video games to give away today
We love Katamari the ones we were talking about last week But they either haven't arrived or another DJ has stolen them or given them away So if you've been listening to the station and heard a DJ giveaway PlayStation 2 games text us and call us cuz I'm gonna beat them to a pulp.
Okay, here's some music It would be great if we could play pulp at that point, wouldn't it?
That's not good.
It's hard fi
I was muttering.
What were you muttering about?
Oh, just personal stuff.
Personal issues.
My piles.
Your piles?
Don't say piles in the first 15 minutes.
Hello, this is Adam and Joe.
You're listening to XFM.
That was hard fire, incidentally.
Yeah.
With hard to beat.
Sorry, Joe, to interrupt your... It's all right.
It was nonsense.
...ID there.
Um, so listen, Joe Cornish, any strong feelings about Golden Wonder going bust?
Well, it's depressing, isn't it, and I feel angry with Lineker.
Yeah, do you blame Lineker?
I blame Lineker, yeah.
Why, for being too good?
The power of his personality.
The genius of his ears.
His crisp-shaped ears.
Yeah.
Giant, crisp-shaped ears.
Wow.
So you think it's all down to the genius of Lineker?
I think so.
It's a bit of a shame.
I think it's a real shame, man, because Lineker's effectively stymied the world of knick-knacks, you know?
There's no more knick-knacks.
Are there no more knick-knacks?
That's a Golden Wonder snack.
What are students going to do without knick-knacks?
Nice and spicy flavour, ribbon saucy?
No.
They're all going.
Ribbon saucy?
Ribbon saucy.
Why do you make a sauce out of ribbons?
Scampi and lemon.
That's going.
I won't be sad to see the back of them.
Do you remember the I-love-knick-knacks?
Nick Nacks are delicious.
What are they shaped like though, Nick Nacks?
What are they based on though?
They're like a mutated chicken leg, a miniature mutated chicken leg.
Yeah, exactly.
How did they come up with that design?
Well, do you remember the TV ad that was like Alien?
It was a very strange advert.
And there was people, some youths sat around on a sort of cruise liner and they were talking about how, and it was like it was a recreation of the scene from Alien just before the alien bursts out of Kane's stomach, you know.
So they're all sat around, very well cast group of teens to look like the crew of the Nostromo.
And this guy suddenly starts freaking out.
Nostromo?
Nostromo, yeah.
Come on!
Let's go on.
Keep talking.
I'd like someone who knows how that's pronounced to phone in and, uh, adjudicate.
Space man.
Um, anyway, so yeah, a knick-knack basically bursts out of this guy's stomach.
Ah.
And it looks like- Has he got a face?
No, no, no, it's brilliant, it's just a knick-knack.
And it looks very much like the little alien that burst out.
It's quite a grotesque advert and I'm pretty sure they don't run it anymore.
So Lineker's murdered knickknacks?
He murdered knickknacks, he's murdered ringos, he's murdered wheat crunchies.
Oh, they're delicious.
They are delicious.
Because they've got bacon-flavored air inside them.
Exactly.
Which stays with you.
No other crisp flavors the air.
No.
Within the snack.
You know, because I rate a crispy snack by how long it stays in your burp system.
In the burp system, it's true.
And I believe the wheat crunchy will stay in your burp system for about two days.
If you were tested by the cops with a burpalyzer,
You would still show up with a wheat crunchy a week later.
Plus, if you choke on a wheat crunchy, its tubular shape allows you to breathe while the ambulance gets there.
It can be used for a makeshift tracheotomy.
If someone else chokes on a different snack, a wheat crunchy can be used for an anaconda-style instant tracheotomy.
That was in Anaconda, wasn't it?
Was it?
Yeah, that was revolting.
I love those biro tracheotomies.
The sudden tracheotomies that make a movie.
There's another one in Red Eye.
Is there?
Yeah.
Have you seen Red Eye?
Yeah.
I don't remember that though.
she stabs a- a biro right into, um, what's his name?
The wind- Ricky and Steve- Cillian Murphy.
Steve- Cillian Murphy.
Ricky and Steve- Yeah.
Ricky and Steve- And, uh, yeah.
Ricky and Steve- Cillian, Cillian.
Ricky and Steve- Cillian.
Steve- Nostromo.
Ricky and Steve- Nostromo.
Ricky and Steve- I may not be right about Nostromo, but I'm right about Cillian.
Steve and Steve- Cillian.
Ricky and Steve- Yeah.
Uh, which is quite good because he always plays quite creepy people.
Steve and Steve- Mm.
Mm.
Ricky and Steve- So it's quite a creepy name.
But yeah, she- she jams a biro right into his neck.
yeah she should have used a week crunchy but now she won't be able to and of course pot noodles uh the golden wonder pot noodle will be oh thank you what no yeah no pot and pot noodles a billion dollar industry well you'd think so people will die if they withdraw pot noodles i think they will but maybe none of this will happen because maybe uh whoever has uh assumed control of golden wonder will carry on these brands but spice as well it doesn't look likely she should bear some of the guilt that's right yeah anybody who's soiled their
pants pants with the walkers with the walkers campaign absolutely well i think it's a it's a shocking day it's a shocking shocking day uh now i'm gonna play some weird music now sorry about that but this is um going out to our friend garth
who yesterday I was supposed to be meeting him and I phoned up to see what his progress was because he was running a little late and he was all flustered and he said, someone's just nicked my bike.
I just saw them nick it off the, like, right from outside where I work.
I saw them cycle off and I'd been running after them.
How awful is that?
Not only to have your bike nicked.
which is a miserable feeling, to see the perpetrator.
And what's worse is that it had happened before he'd gone out and caught someone about to steal his bike.
So how's weird music gonna help him?
Isn't it just gonna make him feel more depressed and spaced out?
It might do, but check this out.
When- the time he caught the guy before, he said, Oi!
What are you doing?
That's my bike!
The guy said, Oh well, you can't blame me for trying.
It's true.
It's not true.
It's true.
You can.
I'm pretty sure you can blame him for trying.
Anyway, Garth, I'm really sorry about your bike.
I hope this song by Pink Floyd cheers you up.
That's Pink Floyd with bike.
There's about a minute and a half of weird noises.
That was weird.
We've certainly helped Garth a bit, but we may have alienated some other listeners.
Shall we play a classic XFM playlist, you know, number to get everybody back on board?
How about some commercials?
Oh, even better.
Yeah, the marvelous mini drama World of Commercials.
We'll be back shortly.
This is XFM.
That was the bravery with honest mistake.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.
It's time to call in.
You could win something amazing.
Let us begin.
Yes, it's time to play Crap Commentary Corner.
The number is 0871-222-1049.
If you can tell us what movie this commentary clip is taken from and who the two overexcited young men talking are.
Now in this first clip,
These two young actors are very excited about being in the movie They're in and one of them says what I think is the longest and most overcomplicated sentence ever said on any commentary ever and listen how at the end he gets Over excited.
So here we go.
Have a listen to clip number one that which is capable of killing You is the very thing that is worthy of your sympathy and empathy
and nurturing absolutely so to balance that tension of protecting yourself while cultivating within yourself the compassion for the other that is to me the germane component of the relationship that can be extrapolated on a macro level with governments or on an interpersonal level within families that i just love yeah yeah that's amazing did you get that yeah i think i did
that really that makes me want to slightly kill all actors hmm oh eight seven one two two two one oh four nine if you know who that was talking and what film they were talking on here's a second clip uh these are the same two actors now engaging in quite a creepy mutual admiration session
What happens to you and what becomes of you and where you go as a performer in there is staggering.
Thank you.
I think it's a huge challenge for an actor to do what you've done with your part in this movie.
Thank you.
And this is where you literally speak the message of the film.
And I think it's worth.
I was so proud when I heard this the first time.
I was so proud of you for doing that and for doing it so well.
And well, I think after just beautiful.
Mmm.
I love the way he agrees with what the other guy's saying.
Mmm.
You're right.
It was stunning.
That did do it really, really well.
You're correct.
There was a third voice in there as well.
There was, yes.
I'm agreeing back there.
Extra points for telling us who that is.
0-8-7-1-2-2-2-1-0-4-9 There's one more clip.
Well, we should play it a bit later on.
We'll play it a bit later, yeah.
So if you know who that was, the numbers 0-8-7-1-triple-2-1-0-4-9.
If you want to win a prize, call now!
That was a really tough one, though.
I'm absolutely stumped by that.
Are you?
Yeah.
I think it's easy peasy.
I'm stumpy.
It's their famous film.
Is it?
Mmm.
Their famous.
Uh, recent famous film?
Their recent famous film.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
That's not an impression of anybody or anything.
It's not a clue.
It's a stupid voice.
OK, let's play some music.
This is The Raconteurs right now with Steady As She Goes.
Oh, I feel like I've been on an incredible rock journey.
That was good, I enjoyed that.
That's the raconteurs with Steady As She Goes, a quartet from Detroit who are releasing their debut album Broken Boy Soldiers on XL Records.
Broken Boy Soldiers.
Broken Boy Soldiers on XL on May the 15th.
Just nailing home there the futility of war.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Especially when kids are involved.
Absolutely.
I forgot about the futility of it for a second.
Yeah.
Don't forget that.
Mm-mm.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM.
We're in the middle of playing crap commentary corner.
You know what?
No one's getting it.
It's one of the biggest films of the last few years.
Everyone out there, you've seen it.
Yeah.
No one's getting it.
Shall we speak to someone?
Let's see if someone has got it.
Who is this we've got on the telephone?
Lydia.
Oh, have you met Lydia?
Oh, Lydia, the Tattoo Lady.
Yeah, that's- that used to be on the Muppet Show album, that's why I know that song.
Yeah, same here.
Do you get that a lot, Lydia?
I do, actually, yes.
Yeah.
Where's that song come from, then?
The Muppet Show album.
I know, but they didn't write the song originally.
They wrote all the songs!
No, they never.
The Muppets wrote all of them.
They wrote Muh-Nuh-Muh-Nuh and Halfway Up The Stairs.
No, they never.
Lydia, hello.
Hello.
How's Saturday going for you today?
Going fine, thank you very much.
What are you up to?
Um, not much to be honest.
I've just come back from travelling, so I'm just relaxing.
Traveling?
Yes.
Like some sort of hippie?
Yes, like some sort of hippie.
I've got long hair beads and everything.
Where's your caravan?
You've parked your caravan.
No, I didn't caravan.
And your, er, children are out rummaging through dustbins.
It's funny that, isn't it?
Some people say, oh, I've just been on holiday.
Other people say, I've been travelling.
Oh, OK.
I think in future, I'm going to say I've been travelling in future.
It just sounds more sophisticated, doesn't it?
Well, I've been on holiday implies, like, a two-week break.
Yeah, I've been travelling to Benidorm.
I've been travelling implies, like, several months in South America or something.
Well, it implies an inward journey as well as an outward journey, doesn't it, Lydia?
myself and everything did you find yourself what's your favorite part of yourself that you discovered anyway you can ask me the question oh she's telling us to shut up yeah yeah okay who do you think it is i think it's jake giving hall and breakback mountain why do you think that
because um it sounds like his voice first of all and the thing they're talking about they're kind of skirting around the subject what it is and that big long sentence Jake uh Jake Gyllenhaal or Gyllenhaal he's he's he's not a uh pretentious ponce though is he he seems to be a straightforward guy yeah i never never thought that before but
I was both sentenced, wasn't it?
Yeah.
No, she's wrong.
I'm sorry about that, Lydia.
You're wrong, but can we offer you a copy of Vanity Fair on DVD as a sort of a consolation prize?
Yeah, that'd be great.
There we go.
Well, if you stay on the line and Xanthi will take your details, thank you for calling and thank you for trying and we're glad you found yourself.
Yeah, exactly.
So, listen, we might have someone who's got it.
Shall we talk to them?
Well, let's play another clip first, shall we?
Let's play another clip.
OK, here we go.
Here is the third clip.
So in this clip, our acting friends are getting so excited about what they're watching on the screen that one of them has a little accident.
But this guy here on the wall, that is just stunning.
And this, the religious iconography of this moment.
Oh, dear.
That was a quick one.
I think he had a little accident.
So is Lorna on the line?
Hello, Lorna.
Are you there?
Hello.
I'm here.
Can you hear me?
Yes, we can hear you.
Yeah.
Hello.
You sound nice.
Thank you.
What are you up to?
I'm at work, actually.
Are you?
What are you working at?
I'm a fashion designer and I'm doing some silk screen printing at the moment.
Wow.
That's cool.
Fashion designers listen to our show.
What sort of a design is on your silk screen?
It's a sort of 1920s type of looking thing.
That sounds fabulous.
Thank you.
Doesn't it?
Yeah, that sounds nice.
Can, if you, you know, can we have one?
No, unfortunately for ladies, well you can, it's a dress, so if you want one.
Can you make us a man dress?
Yes.
Like Pete, Pete Burns?
A mess.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Lorna, Lorna, who do you think it is?
I think it's Brian Austin and Elijah Wood from Fellowship of the Rings.
Now you don't mean Brian Austin, do you?
Wasn't he in, wasn't he in Beverly Hills 9021's era?
You mean Sean Astin?
Hello, I think you've faded Lorna down.
There you go, sorry.
Are you back, Lorna?
Sean Astin, that's who I meant, I'm terribly sorry.
You're absolutely correct, well done.
Uh, that was Sean Astin and Elijah Wood and in the background with the deep voice Andy Serkis.
And that's from the commentary of, do you know which movie it is?
Fellowship of the Ring?
Uh, it's The Two Towers, but we'll give you that.
Thank you.
And Sean Astin revealing himself to be, you know, very enthusiastic and analytical.
Well, he was a child star, you know.
He was.
Yeah, and he'd only been in the Goonies, really, up till then, so it must have been very exciting for him.
Apparently he's written a book about the making of Lord of the Rings, in which he makes a bit of an idiot of himself as well.
He's... Sounds like he would.
He is clinically insane.
I just want to play that clip again of him analysing it.
Do you want the first one again?
Yeah.
Where are we?
That which is capable of killing you is the very thing that is worthy of your sympathy and empathy and nurturing.
Absolutely.
So to balance that tension of protecting yourself while cultivating within yourself the compassion for the other.
That is to me the germane component of the relationship that can be extrapolated on a macro level for governments or on an interpersonal level within families that I just love.
That is the Jermaine, yeah, whatever he said.
What things that he said there.
Well done Lorna, that's very good.
What does Lorna win?
Well I tell you what, we can give Lorna a choice of things to win.
You can either have an Adam and Joe DVD or a pair of tickets to see The Darkness at Alexandra Palace this Tuesday or Wednesday.
Or maybe both.
or maybe both because she did really well there yeah we can't give her a fist of fury you're a lady you don't like kicking anyway little foreign men kicking each other do you no not really no you don't like that uh so what do you want
I'd throw your DVD, actually.
Hey!
What a sensible load.
I tell you what we'll sign it for.
You bought it on the cellophane so you can throw it away.
Yes, exactly.
Would you rather we signed it permanently or in a throw-away-able fashion?
Permanently, please.
Oh, come on.
Hey, Lorna, thanks so much for calling.
Well done getting that right.
And well done helping us expose Sean Astin as a bit too keen.
Hard to be for history on Nick Grange, I think you'll agree.
The Associates with Party Fears 2.
Now, when was that released, Adam?
Man, that must have been about 81 or something.
There you go.
It could have been ripped out of today's charts, don't you think?
Yeah, it's true.
Very Contempo sound.
Amazing.
But yet it's old.
That's right.
Now, we're going to do a little shout-out right now.
We don't do very many of these.
But this is a shout-out for Lewis Wootton.
Lewis Wooten.
Yeah, he's- isn't he from Wales, from Cardiff?
What does it say on it?
He's put an S-A-E in there.
Oh yeah.
He sent us the inner sleeve to his Adam and Joe DVD to sign.
And, er, he's written a very sweet note.
Klandaff in Cardiff.
Yeah.
Yeah, thanks for that.
yeah thanks man we really appreciate that you can't you know this emails are fine but a nice note a little scrap of paper with some lovely meaningful handwriting on it that's wonderful isn't it yeah we're gonna sign up your sleeve real good and thanks very much to matt pool as well who sent us some uh some groovy t-shirts anything like that it's nice you know something with a personal touch is always wonderful to receive and i hope uh
Like a big punch from my fist.
Here's a big advertising punch for you.
We'll be back shortly.
This is XFM.
Love music.
Love XFM.
Who's that then?
That's the Monkees, isn't it?
Who are they?
The Arctic Monkees.
Ah, never get anywhere.
This is Adam and Joel on XFM.
And listen, we should apologise, because one or two people found that Associates track we played before the break a little bit confusing.
Confusing?
Yeah.
Well, I think it's the job of the free play to confuse a challenge.
To confuse, yeah.
You know that's also, a clip from that is used as the theme tune to WeekEnding on Radio 4.
Used to be.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, there you go.
It's a very famous song.
What did they find upsetting and confusing about it?
Oh, we've had texts with the words cat strangling in them.
Oh, no, no.
I'm not having that.
The warbling.
His style of vocals was very innovative, wasn't it?
It's brilliant just because everyone sounds like a kind of football yob now in their bands.
I'm not having it.
I want- I want gay warbling.
All the way.
So listen, let's move on though.
Um, if you've been watching telly recently, listeners, you might have seen an advert for a brand of toothpaste with a handsome young man, uh, telling us how brilliantly this toothpaste both whitens his teeth and, uh, cleans them.
Two in one whitening.
He doesn't have to make the choice anymore.
Uh, he's a handsome young man.
He's doing one of these testimonials, not into the camera, off camera, being interviewed objectively by a completely independent toothpaste authority, probably.
Um, but this man's name, it says in the bottom left hand side of the screen, is Paul Kahana.
How do you spell Kahana?
K-H-A-N-N-A.
Paul, how would you spell that?
Kah-na?
How would you pronounce it, you mean?
Yes, sorry, pronounce it.
Er... Khana.
Khana.
But anyway, that's not the point.
Khana.
It says below that that he's a screenwriter.
It says Paul Khana, screenwriter.
And listen, I've recorded the advert, I've used er... I've taken out the name of the actual product.
Yeah.
And er, replaced it with the help of Prince.
So here is the advert, just in case you remember it.
I noticed that my teeth were yellowing, but I didn't want to choose between whitening and protection.
I tried...
Soon, not only were my teeth whiter, but my whole mouth looked healthier.
It's clinically proven to help restore the natural white of teeth.
I could see the difference.
complete 12-hour protection.
It's my choice.
There you go.
So there he is, Paul Kahana.
Yeah.
Screenwriter, telling us about that brand of toothpaste.
Protection, whitening, whitening, protection.
Yeah, so I thought that's interesting.
Uh, he's a screenwriter.
I wonder what he's written.
So, and you can do this too if you'll buy a computer.
I went on the internet movie database and put in Paul Kahana, K-H-A-N-N-A, uh, because here he is talking about the product.
Should we trust him?
What are his credentials?
What's he actually written?
So I put him in the Internet Movie Database.
He's only got one credit.
It says he wrote, directed and produced Running on Empty.
that's a big movie oh yeah with River Phoenix and Martha Plimpton yeah but I thought it was directed by Sidney Lumet uh-huh it turns out of course that the running on empty he directed was actually a four-minute short film that won the Heinz short film competition and his other credits are as an actor in Basil Brush as an SAS man in Ultimate Force and as Guy Lard Lasker in Spooks I don't know who Guy Lard Lasker is Spooks
Uh, so they seem to be lying to us.
Well, that's not lying.
Come on, that's an impressive CV he's got there.
Yeah, but they say he's a screenwriter, and he's written a four-minute film about beans for Heinz.
We have probably just another commercial.
Technically, he's a screenwriter.
Are you a screenwriter if you write a four-minute film?
yes yes yeah right but well yeah what if it doesn't get well just because i did some decoration does that mean i'm a decorator yeah well yeah yeah you know what i'm saying
Anyway, it's a very famous brand of toothpaste and I don't know, I think they're lying to us.
So it's just a warning to listeners, if you watch that commercial and you think, I'm going to trust that guy's opinion on toothpaste, he's a screenwriter.
Don't believe it.
Because he's not.
The end.
But do you want them to sort of put a caveat and say sort of not particularly successful screenwriter?
Amateur screenwriter.
I think amateur screenwriter.
Why didn't they just put actor?
He's a successful actor.
He's been in Basil Brush.
What more would an actor want?
That's right, yeah.
Just put actor.
I'd, I'd listen to an actor quicker than I'd listen to a screen, to a screenwriter about tooth cleanliness.
Cos actors appear in the public eye.
But if you put actor on, on someone who's appearing in a commercial... Nah, you won't believe them, will you?
That's true.
But anyway, don't trust Paul Kohana.
Says Joe Cornish.
Thanks.
That's OK Go with A Million Ways.
You're listening to Adam and Joe on XFM this Saturday afternoon.
What are you doing, Joe Cornish?
Are we out there talking to the 19th sexiest man in the world?
Yeah.
Alex Zane's still there.
And you know, as two sexy men, we have to chat about, you know, the latest sexy news.
How to stay sexy.
Sexy tips.
I've put in, we got sent a Deuce Bigelow t-shirt.
It says, Royal Order of European Man Whores.
And I'm wearing it.
That's a good t-shirt.
Yeah.
Did we get sent two?
No.
But I've put it on cleverly and now I've sweated it and do it.
But you can have the other t-shirts.
You can have the other ones.
I don't want the other ones.
You nick.
The other t-shirts are specially made by a listener.
This is a mass-produced piece of rubbish.
You always get in earlier than I do every week.
Well, that's the secret.
You go through the cubbyhole.
You nix the secret.
Everything cool.
Right, we'll be back in a second.
We've got a text competition coming up shortly, a chance for you to win more exciting goodies.
This is in the dock.
and more chat about the important issues of today.
Stick with us here on XFM.
Yes, it's the Kaiser Chiefs The modern way don't know I'm saying it like that in that fashion.
This is Adam and Joe on xfm podcast news Podcast fans.
I was now I wasn't sure about our podcast status, but apparently it's still being negotiated There's a good chance that there will be Adam and Joe podcasts being produced imminently of old shows and indeed the new ones as well I think that's the case isn't it Xanthi?
So, uh, don't give up hope just yet, if you're waiting for a podcast.
Have you been- Or, if you don't want podcasts, then give up hope.
because they're coming.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Uh, well, no, I would s- yeah, anyway.
Um, have you been, uh, downloading any podcasts, Joe?
Uh, no, I don't know, I haven't actually.
Have you not investigated at all?
No, no, not a single podcast, I'm afraid.
I wasted quite a lot of time checking out podcasts this week.
Because, you know, uh, there's video ones as well as audio ones.
and they kind of pop up like a little TV on your iTunes window and you have the option to make them fill the whole screen but man it's rubbish there's a lot of rubbish out there but it's pretty interesting you know it's it's like public access I suppose in a lot of ways and so there's an awful lot of rubbish to sift through but there's some good stuff out there as well and of course the the most popular one I think is Ricky and Stephen's one
it's got about a quarter of a million hits or something or three quarters of a million hits so far which is pretty amazing unprecedented amount of interest but it's still early days for the podcast universe but if you haven't checked it out i recommend you do it's pretty good very funny indeed but mainly carl pilkington actually it should be called just pilking world or pilko vision
But, um, yeah, quite good.
I was thinking, though, that maybe, um, people would like to send us their own sort of podcasts.
Do you know what I mean?
Because basically, most podcasts that I've been downloading this week is just a couple of blokes with a really rubbish microphone and, uh, probably a lot of beer in them as well, talking rubbish.
And he goes on and on and on.
It's the kind of thing that we used to do quite a lot, Joe, when we were younger.
But I was thinking it might be fun to hear some of the ones that people send in.
I'm sure no one will take us up on this.
But maybe- They're long though, aren't they?
We can't have people sending in really long things because we'll never be able to play them.
I know, I know.
But just like a couple of minutes.
Like two minutes of no music, just chat, of you talking about stuff that you think is interesting with your mates.
I'd be interested to hear that.
OK, that's a challenge.
That's a challenge.
Send it in.
What's the address that people send stuff into, Xanthi?
What do you think?
XFM, Leicester Square.
30, Leicester Square.
Number 30, Leicester Square.
W1.
W1, London.
and address it to Adam and Joe, or maybe just Adam Buxton because I'm not sure Joe's very interested in listening to the podcasts from our listeners, but I really would be, okay?
I recommend you check out- what are you reading there, Joe?
Nothing, I'm just lining up something, something exciting.
In your brain?
Yeah.
Yeah, clearly, because you're not engaging with me about podcasts.
No, I am, I'm listening, that's a great idea, I'm looking forward to getting the podcast genuinely, it's gonna be exciting!
Okay, good.
Um, and, er- Plus I've got Sneak magazine.
What have you got?
That is Sneak magazine.
Is that a new lady magazine?
Yeah.
It's hard to keep my eyes off the latest Preston news.
What's- what is the latest Preston news?
He- he's keen to be in EastEnders.
And you know what I was thinking?
I was thinking, wow, Preston, he's played it really well.
Before Celebrity Big Brother, he was nobody.
Yeah.
Now, a month later, he's the most famous man in Britain, and he's gonna get a part in EastEnders.
that's right but how long can it go on for forever forever because he's genuinely talented yeah yeah and it's the single still in the charts yeah boys will be boys oh yeah it's going up and up and up and up yeah the address is xfm p.o box 1049 london wc2 h7 la for your mini podcast xfm p.o box 1049 london wc2 7 la how much more enthusiastic can you get than that no that's true that was amazing
So listen, in a second, after this record or whatever we're doing next, I'd like to play you some of my highlights from American Idol that's been on telly on Sunday afternoons.
Oh yeah.
That's provided some of the funniest stuff on telly at the moment, I think.
Fantastic.
Well, before that, we've got Morning Runner with Burning Benches.
That's Morning Runner with Burning Benches.
Why would you want to burn a bench?
on your morning run.
Yeah, you reckon?
Very destructive to the park area and should be stopped, I think.
Go and have a... Why would you burn a bench?
It's insanity.
Why, you usually burn bridges.
Yeah.
They've burnt benches.
Why?
Yeah, just so people can't sit on them.
Don't know?
Well, maybe someone who's a fan of that band can tell us why they're called that.
To deal with, er, as an anti-tramp measure or something.
Maybe, yeah, tramps clogging up the place with their stinky habits.
They're fed up with it.
They'd rather burn the benches.
Yeah.
I bet they might accidentally burn some tramps.
They're killers.
A song there by murderers.
Murderers.
Tramp, murderers.
Allegedly, Morning Runner.
Um, now, er, I keep trying to get my head round Deal or No Deal.
Yes, Noel Edmonds's smash hit new Channel 4 game show.
And I know we've spoken about this before, but it's at some length.
Every week I watch it and try and understand what's going on, because I feel excluded by the thing, because I just think, surely this can't just be a question of randomly selecting one of 20 numbers for an entire half hour.
but it is, that is exactly what it is.
Because Noel so brilliantly dresses the thing up as if there was some strategy involved, you know?
And he convinces you, but then you start thinking, what is the strategy?
Am I too stupid to understand the strategy behind this game?
And no, that's not the case.
I am stupid, but not so stupid that I'm missing a strategy, because there's none!
There's no none strategy in the game whatsoever.
It's a sort of game show for people that like horoscopes and stuff.
believe in fate and luck and magical stones and stuff.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, you think that they are, they believe that they are tampering with fate in some way.
Yeah, and that there are lucky people and unlucky people and somehow it's out of your control, the whole thing.
Right, right.
But I must say, I think that it's stretching the definition of the word game, to call it a game.
And basically I wanted people as a text competition this week to come up with some similar formats
And we could make a lot of money out of this as well, you know?
XFM listeners, if you go into business with these ideas, with myself and Joe, we could really clean up.
We've got connections with all the big TV companies.
Oh yeah.
We can float this idea.
There's a few people we haven't alienated in TV and they'd be really happy to.
to get our ideas going.
I've got a few ideas of my own, just to give you some examples of what I'm talking about.
Basically, I want people to come up with some game show formats that require less skill and strategy than Deal or No Deal.
And that's really a difficult thing to do, okay?
Plus, I want you to come up with a has-been presenter to host the whole thing, and a good snappy title for it, okay?
I think that's the formula for success.
That's asking people quite a lot, Adam.
So have you got an example?
Yeah, here we go.
Aim it, bucket, claim it.
Like it.
Hosted by Andy Crane.
Yes.
Contestants throw pennies into a bucket.
Yes.
Whoever gets the most pennies in the bucket wins all the pennies in the bucket.
That's good.
Okay, now that actually requires more skill than deal or no deal.
So it's not a perfect example.
Sort of tiddlywinks skills.
Here's another one, the mind jar.
Ooh.
OK, this is a new twist on an old favourite.
Tony Slattery stands by excitedly as a person tries to guess how many beans there are in a large jar of beans.
Brilliant.
OK, how close will they come to guessing correctly?
Brilliant.
OK, now the closest person to the exact number of beans in the jar wins.
Oh.
OK, I bet you didn't think that was good.
And the twist, here's the twist.
Unlike a fairground or school fate version of this game.
This is being televised Wow, okay, that's good deal with that and other titles for this could be has beans Bean battle the bean counters or jar jar beans.
I don't know why there would be a Star Wars pun there Here's one more example.
Okay duel of drool
hosted by Hufti, okay?
Steve Houghton- Hufti from the Word.
Ricky Loves It Exactly.
Steve Houghton- Yeah.
Ricky Loves Contestants have to stand on the Tower of Drool and create a long length of drool that gets as close as possible to the ground without actually touching it before retracting the drool.
Steve Houghton- Yeah, that's a modern toss cartoon you got there.
Ricky Loves Oh, really?
Steve Houghton- Mm.
Ricky Loves Didn't realize that.
Uh, and they're only allowed one glass of orangeade
Before the game starts because you need it to generate the goobers the correct viscosity of goober ism The game could also be called drool Britannia.
Yeah or something.
Who's drooling who?
Yeah.
Yeah Yeah, so listen if you can come up with a with an idea for a game show that's stupider than deal or no deal Yeah requires less skill
yeah, and an over-the-hill presenter, who isn't one of us, who should be presenting it, then text 83XFM, 83XFM, with your ideas for lame game shows, and you'll win an amazing prize.
Tickets to see The Darkness, maybe a DVD, maybe just some kind words.
Yeah, who knows.
Bit more music now, and you will be hearing those American Idol clips when we return.
That's Smile Like You Mean It by The Killers.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.
Yes, it is.
Now, the American Idol format is a tired format, isn't it, Adam?
And listeners?
You would think so.
It's been on for years now.
Yeah.
Pop Idol.
What was the first one called?
It was Pop Idol, wasn't it?
Yeah.
What was the one with the bands called?
Well, there's Pop Idol, there's X Factor.
There you go, X Factor.
You'd have thought it would have run out of steam.
Even the people, you know, Simon Cowell looks exhausted by it.
Everybody just, you know, it's time for it to die.
But it will not die.
Especially in the audition stages.
And ITV have been showing American Idol, the American version, on Sunday afternoons a double bill.
Do recommend it if you're a bit hungover on Sunday.
and there are just the most incredible loonies auditioning in America and every series they seem to sort of dig deeper into the lunatic barrel, stir more of them up and it's just getting better and better.
I don't recommend you watch it after the auditions when it actually turns into something about singing.
I just think the auditions are amazing and two weeks ago they uncovered a man called Flawless
and I'd like to paint a picture of Flawless.
He's kind of a tall, uh, Ali G-looking kind of, uh, Justin Timberlake gone wrong kind of a figure.
Uh, and the main thing about him is he wears head to do- head to toe pyjamas.
Steve This is a white guy or a black guy?
Ricky It's a white guy.
Steve Yeah.
Ricky Head to do- to toe pyjamas all day long
Er, and pyjama shorts.
What, sort of like nice stripey cotton pyjamas?
No, a big loud checky pattern, and then a little baseball cap which is the same pattern as the pyjamas.
He looks like a big tablecloth basically.
Yeah.
But here, here is Flawless, and, er, this first clip is, er, Flawless telling us how he came up with the name Flawless.
Mmm.
Er, and it was an extraordinary process, as, as you'll hear.
My name is Nick McCoy, but people call me Flawless.
I felt like if I had one with suits on, I might as well go ahead and call my name something that it should be named, which is very appropriate, which therefore is Flawless, was developed out of my mind.
He developed it out of his mind.
Once therefore.
So that's him explaining how he gets his name.
Now let's hear him talking about why he wears these pajamas 24 hours a day.
Most people think of them as pajamas and stuff and uh I don't think of them as pajamas I think of them as very comfortable clothes and very relaxing lingering and I don't know I just like them.
Very relaxing and lingering.
Yeah.
I think it's probably the stink that lingers.
Don't you admire a man that wears pyjamas all day?
Presumably he wears pants though, and I don't mean pants in the American sense.
Underwear?
Well this is a whole can of worms, isn't it?
We should come back to it next week.
Have you ever worn your pyjamas all day?
I've thought about it once.
You don't think you've ever done it?
No.
You see, I have.
Have you?
What about when you're ill and stuff?
Oh, when you're in the house, not like outside.
Yeah, not outside, no.
Not like flawless.
But even in the house, about tea time, it feels very wrong.
Then it starts feeling right again at about seven.
But between about four and seven, you feel evil.
And they still linger.
They feel like they're lingering just as flawless says.
Do you wear PJs still?
No, I sleep naked.
Yeah.
But that's another conversation.
A sexy conversation.
But one more clip of Flawless.
Flawless has a cleaning company, and that's how he makes his money, good or flawless.
And it's got a slogan, and here is the slogan, and also Flawless is thinking behind that slogan.
Presumably if he actually went to a place that was flawless, he'd have no money, he wouldn't be able to, business would collapse.
I'm an entrepreneur and I clean houses.
The name of my business is Paradise Cleaning.
The slogan for that is that
You come home with your house home and House smell like looking me and smell like paradise.
Yes, that's good It takes me a minute to sort of get that out because it's kind of tongue twister and that's where I wanted it to be He wanted it like that.
He wanted it to be You get home and you
You kind of want your house to smell right.
That's a snappy taste line.
Yeah, you were doing it well there.
It's rolling off the tongue.
So that's flawless.
And I do recommend if you're bored on a Sunday afternoon, you watch those American Idol double bills because soon the incredible auditions will be over and it'll be back to idiot people singing competitively.
How are we doing for the text?
Anyone got any ideas coming in?
The text are rolling in.
If you want a reminder of our text competition, we're asking you to come up with game shows that are stupider than Deal or No Deal and a washed-up celebrity to host them.
Stupider's not really the right word, but more sort of... More making something out of nothing.
Yeah, something that requires even less skill and strategy.
Based on the observation that we've made several times on this show that Deal or No Deal could be over in about four minutes.
Yes.
And it's only sort of, uh, Noel Evans' walking psychosis that keeps it going for that long.
His fascinating psychosis.
Uh, some more advertisements right now.
It sort of says what each advertisement is on the computer.
I'm just scanning them and, um, there's some amazing, amazing ones coming up.
I think you're really gonna enjoy it.
I'm particularly excited about the, uh, Tiskily one.
Ah, brilliant.
Um, anyway, this is Edmond Joe on XFM.
Love music.
Thanks FM!
There you go.
That's something to think about, isn't it?
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, yeah?
Speed of sound from the mighty Coldplay.
It's time to put our text competition to bed.
We've been asking you to come up with a stupider, uh, you know, game show that makes something out of nothing in a better way than Noel Edmonds's Deal or No Deal.
That's not an easy task, we appreciate that.
Not an easy task.
But people have been really applying themselves to it in a very impressive way.
Oh, yeah, we've had lots of texts.
Are you ready?
Yeah, come on, hit me.
Here we go.
We're gonna be rich.
Here we go.
How about live televised Snap, the popular card game, preferably with farmyard animal pictures on the cards featuring competing members of the public, hosted by the dude from 90s ITV kids show Nightmare.
From Angela in Hackney PS.
Please can I have an Adam and Joe DVD and she's put her address tar Exclamation mark.
Okay peel or no peel that was good.
Can I just say?
She didn't come up with it with a good title with a snappy title for it But I like the idea.
Okay, here's another one.
This is from Jim in Enfield Peel or no peel get a peeling knife and an apple and try to make the longest length of peel.
That's good That's pretty good.
And then the peeler rings up
he's like an old-style policeman yeah and offers you fruit to the value of I don't know something like that yeah yeah it's gonna make it last an hour peeler the pee did he come up with the peeler no I I threw that in that's really your little hand there Jim little little deformed hand
Uh, what?
Blink and you miss it.
Speaking of which, Blink and you miss it, hosted by Jeremy Beadle.
Contestants stare at the camera and have to blink as few times as possible in ten minutes as the over-the-hill prankster prances around trying to force more blinks out of the contestants.
I've got issues with that one.
From Dazzle.
A- Jeremy Beadle is by no means over the hill.
He's a fully functioning genius, in my opinion.
Yes, it's true.
My opinion too.
And also, uh, that's just a staring competition though, isn't it?
That's the same thing as a staring competition.
Well, Dazzle, you've been d- dissed.
I- I don't hate it.
I'm not- I'm not dissing Dazzle.
Here we go.
Uh, this is by John McKierick.
Uh, what?
No, hang on a second.
No, it's been sent in by Anonymous.
It's presented by John McKierrick, spelt very strangely.
It's called Dog Knows.
Six contestants lie in a line, a dog is unleashed in the studio, and the person who's sent it finds most appealing wins.
That's good, you see.
That's really good, and the dog maybe has to go across some sort of assault course.
That's really good.
It would just go straight for the crotches, though.
It would have to be late night.
That's brilliant, and you wouldn't be able to flinch as well.
yeah that's an anonymous one though uh xanthi quickly use your spy skills to track down who that was how can that be anonymous that was the best one so far yeah it's probably from pulled down uh from no lemons is dog nose spelt k-n oh yes oh yeah uh yeah i like that okay here's another one this is from brian in blackpool it's called not a lottery uh presented by guess who uh it's a lot you like it not a lot you like it paul daniels not a lottery
by Paul Daniel.
That's quite a good impression.
If I don't say so myself.
Someone picks six numbers and doesn't put them on the lottery.
If they don't win on that, then they win a prize.
I like the way he's put on that in.
If they don't win on that, then they win a prize.
That's nonsense.
Well everyone would win a prize, Brian.
You haven't thought that through.
I mean the chances of winning the lottery are a bazillion to one.
It's the stupidest.
Uh, way to waste money in the world.
What?
So bitter.
I hate the lottery.
Um, okay, here's another one.
Uh, this is from Neil.
It's called Are We There Yet?
Contestants sit in a van and play I Spy as they drive along a motorway.
that's quite good quite good from Neil ding-dong or no ding-dong Danny Baker gets people to see if the houses in the street have doorbells or just a knocker contestants speculate which one it is that's pretty good because you could talk like they do on deal or no deal they go on and on it's so are you lucky sue what numbers have you had in your boxes for the last four weeks and then she usually has low as if that's gonna lie have any significance to what's in the box and then you have random you idiot
you have some tense music yeah and then Danny Baker says now you need a knocker if it's a bong that you get you're out of the game now you need a knocker for god's sake well Danny I think I think it's the middle-income neighborhood so they're likely to have knockers because they're slightly classier but they're called the Smiths so maybe it you know that sort of thing yeah brilliant that's really good who's that from that's anonymous as well the cleverest people are anonymous
OK, finally, Red car, blue car, new... new car.
Red car, blue car, new car.
Hosted also by Jeremy Beadle.
There are two cars and a dog.
The player has to guess which car the dog will wee against.
Well, that's like the dog sniffing one.
Louise in Dagenham, bad luck.
If I'd read you out before, the dog knows.
Would have had more impact.
It was good, but it's a bit too much like something they might have had on TFI Friday or something.
Yeah, okay.
Well, here's another one.
Preston's Where's Weller?
Contestants guess where Paul Weller is during a three-hour show.
That's from James... Well, it's printed out weirdly.
James Old?
And who presents it?
Preston.
Yeah, from Big Brother, I suppose.
Is that right?
Where's Weller?
He's not over the hill.
He's on the hill.
Well, no, but he'd do a game show, wouldn't he?
He'd do anything.
He's hovering above the hill.
And so what?
So Paul Weller's just, you know, wherever he is, out shopping or maybe on holiday with friends.
Yeah, exactly.
And it's just a process of guessing.
In the living room.
Yeah, that's good.
That's quite good.
Man, we're in the money.
Let's get Endemol on the phone.
But listen, um, Bong or Knocka or whatever it was called, that was my favourite one.
I think if we can find who sent that in, they should win the prize.
Yeah, there's more.
We've got to get on, man.
The show's almost finished.
You've still got Ditties in the Dock.
Let's play a record and do Ditties.
I was going to play your Losing Ditties from last week.
Oh, yeah.
This is from the most fantastic video game called We Love Katamari.
It's out on the PlayStation 2, came out on Friday.
If you've got £30 to spare and a PS2 and seriously want to play one of the most beautiful, inventive, brilliant video games ever, then go and buy it.
And this is a song from one of the levels.
It's called You Are Smart.
That sounds a bit like Aphex Twin or something.
Well, exactly.
Quite good.
And do you know who it's by?
No, but the video game's famous for having a brilliant soundtrack in Japan and America.
People are obsessed with it, with the songs.
But I do recommend it.
Man, we were supposed to have copies to give away today, but they haven't arrived yet.
So hopefully next week, then I'll give you one.
Oh, that'd be fantastic.
Because you'll love it.
Even people who don't like video games will like it.
Excellent.
Now, Diddy's in the dock.
We should do it now.
We should launch it very quickly and rattle through our choices.
uh, because we've only got about 15 minutes left of our program.
Well, this week's theme for Ditches in the Dock is falsetto songs.
My choice is Beck with Deborah from the, what's the, what's the album?
That green one.
Midnight Vultures.
Midnight Vultures, yeah.
It's a sort of Princey type soul workout where he sings very high.
It's one of my favourite Beck songs.
So call 0871 2221049 and vote for Beck.
and remember all five callers that get on the line will win the platinum edition of Bruce Lee's Fist of Fury that's two discs packed with four hours of bonus features it's certificate 18 uh and it's brilliant amazing kicking face kicking ass kicking nipple kiss kick kissing what but yeah Fist of Fury on DVD is up for grabs so call 0 8 7 1 triple 2 1 0 4 9 and vote for Beck with Deborah or can you give us a quick snatch of Deborah in the falsetto no come on
Bye bye!
Like that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good.
Mine, I want you to vote for David Bowie singing Without You from Let's Dance.
Yeah, he does a lovely bit of falsetto.
There's no smoke without fire.
Oh, that is a good song.
It's Bowie versus Beck, Battle of the Bees.
So that's as simple as that.
08712221049.
And don't forget Fist of Fury special edition DVDs for everyone who gets through.
08712221049.
Please call now.
Beck or Bowie.
Love music, love XFM Love music, love XFM XFM
Yeah, a little something for girls there.
That's, uh, Jose Gonzalez.
What a very sexist thing to say.
With heartbeats.
Very, very sexist.
Sort of ladies out there.
And just before we resolve, Dizzy's in the dark.
I've got a small, boring announcement I'd like to make.
Oh, God.
Sorry.
um my uh semi-regular evening of comedy and video hilarity is returning uh this is called the out of focus group and it is called the out of focus group yeah yeah it is and uh it takes place on uh wednesday february the 15th
um, at the Zetter Hotel, Z-E-T-T-E-R, um, in Clerkenwell Road.
Um, you can book a table if you'd like to eat while watching the hilarious comedy.
And, uh, my guests that evening, apart from myself, I'll be performing and showing some of my amazing, amazing videos.
Uh, but I've also very, very, um, oh, I can't speak.
I'm- I'm also very happy that Laura Solon, last year's Perrier Award winner, is gonna be there and, uh, Dave Armand and Nick Tanner from The Hollow Men are coming along.
It's gonna be an amazing evening.
If you'd like to know more about it, uh, you can check out my website Adam-Buckston.com and the details will be on there.
Oh, these- these people holding on the line for ditties might be angry with you.
Yes.
of the way, and now we can do it.
And speaking of ditties, I'm sorry as well that we were playing the Ditties in the Dock music through some commercials there, I think.
We've got to do this fast, man.
This is going to be the fastest Ditties resolution in the history of radio.
Okay, let's get onto it.
So we've got five callers.
Brian, hello.
Hello.
How are you doing?
I'm doing very good.
Are you excited about winning Vista Fiori?
I'm ecstatic.
Oh, brilliant.
Listen, what are you voting for in our falsetto playoff?
Beck!
Good vote.
It's very good.
One for Beck.
Brian, thank you very much indeed for calling in.
Sorry we can't chat longer.
Louisa, how are you doing?
Hi, I'm good thanks.
Tell us one really quick important thing about yourself.
I'm wearing a pair of stupid jeans, trying to stretch into them, but they still don't fit.
Oh, sexy!
Thanks, Louisa.
What are you voting for?
Is it going to be Bec or Bowie?
Bowie, please.
Oh, yes.
It's Bowie, it's 1-0.
Good luck with the jeans, and we'll be sending you your fists off.
Adam, thanks very much for holding.
How are you doing?
Yeah, not too bad, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, good.
Thanks, quick salient fact, Adam, very quickly, something impressive?
I'm dead bored and at work, and I want to go out.
What's your work?
Oh, it's very dull, mate.
I'm working in an office in Chingford.
Oh, come on, that's not dull!
Office, Chingford?
Office, Chingford, Saturday afternoon.
The possibilities are endless.
Nice and cold, go and steal some... Yeah, it's actually quite warm in here.
Steal some stationery.
Yeah, exactly.
Make a paperclip chain and hang it between your nipples.
What are you voting for, Beck or Bowie?
Beck, please, mate.
That's two, one for Beck.
Thanks very much for your call, Adam.
James.
Hello there.
Hello, how are you doing?
I'm very good, thanks.
Headlines in James Weekly?
A couple of nights ago someone set a loot and van on fire outside our house.
Oh, a loot and van?
Yeah.
Really?
Did you put it out?
Well, there was a little fire next to it so we went out with a bucket and the firemen put out the other one.
Do you live on a gypsy camp?
Yeah, you got it.
Where on earth do you live, James?
I live in Finchley.
Oh man, that's bad.
That's not the sort of thing that should be happening in Finchley.
I know!
Leave me Finchley!
That's terrible.
Did you summon the po-po?
Yep, we did, yeah.
Yeah, did they deal with it?
Yeah.
The po-po.
Good one.
That's outrageous.
James, are you going to vote for Beck or Bowie?
Bowie.
He sent it in the dock on fire.
It's two-all.
Nice joke.
Thanks, man.
You're on fire.
Thanks.
James, thanks a lot for your call.
Kay, are you there?
Yep.
Oh, she's so efficient.
She's business-like.
Kate, you've really paired it.
She's paired it right down.
She's going to speak in monos, syllables.
Anything exciting about your life today, Kate?
No, I'm just upset because I can't go to the West Ham match.
What?
I wouldn't be worried.
It's only football.
It's boring.
All the games are the same.
But you're a lady.
What are you doing being into the sport of kings?
Extraordinary.
What are you voting for, Kate?
What's it going to be?
This is the deciding vote.
Leave us a little pause before you tell us.
Is it going to be back or Bowie?
Oh!
Cornish wins, you see?
The secret to winning this is just choose something very popular.
Well, there you go.
I'm going to give up on my Japanese video game music and just go for XFM playlist songs.
Well, it's a fine song anyway.
Kay, thank you very much indeed for your call.
I'm very sorry about the whole missing the ball and the kicking and the goals.
And thanks to everyone else who called in and texted this week.
We really appreciate it, as ever, and we'll be back with you next week.
Yeah, thanks for listening.
Have a great week.
Here is Beck with Deborah.
We love you, bye!
JCPenney I think your name tag I said Jennie I could stare at you With a fresh pack of gum And somehow I knew You were looking for something new Like a fruit That's right for the picking
Cause only you got a thing That I just got to get with I just got to get, get with you And you know what we're gonna do I wanna get with you Oh girl And your sister I think her name is Dan
Your sister, I think her name's Deborah.
Girl, I only want to be there with you.
Cause you got something that I just
I said, lady Step inside my Hyundai I'm gonna take you up to Glendale Yeah I'm gonna take you for a real good meal Cause when our eyes did meet Girl, you know I was packing heat
And wasting no time getting to know each other You know the deal, cause only you got a thing That I just got together, got together I just got together, got together, you, you I wanna give for you, only you, girl And your sister, I think her name is still
Xfm's seven wonders