there you go that is sown with the feeling this is adam and joe on xfm here on a saturday afternoon how you doing man oh well i'm all right hello listeners i've actually got a temperature in a cold have you actually got a temperature yeah i've had a fever oh man oh yeah have you been uh dealing with it well watching the commonwealth games
has been my only solace in my nights of red-hot insomnia.
What sort of action are you getting on the Commonwealth Games at the moment?
Bums.
bums and pecs.
Ricky and Steve laugh Steve- Bums and pecs?
Ricky- Bums, pecs and boobs.
Steve laughs Steve- Where from?
Ricky- All in tight lycra.
Steve- Are they doing- is it gymnastics in that kind of situation?
Ricky- Oh, what?
Uh, yeah, all kinds of things.
The other day there was a bike race, but they- for some reason they were doing it in their swimming costumes.
Steve laughs Steve- And it was just this shot of five scantily clad ladies bummed.
so it's just the bikes maybe it's just me i don't know you're just those male swimmers they've all got the same body they're like an action figure with change a changeable head so you're having a kind of crazy polysexual um there's nothing sexual about it
It's just admiring the human physique in all its different shapes.
Okay, good, good.
I'm sure anybody out there who's been watching the Commonwealth Games, you just end up looking at their bits.
It's not really about sport.
It should be called the bits games.
Now, that would be good.
That's what the games is.
Oh, the Channel 4, er, celebrity sport thing?
Yeah, you're basically just looking at the celebrity bodies.
No, no-one's watching that, are they?
Why would you watch Peter Duncan do a canoe race when you've got the professionals on the other side?
Not the professionals, but, you know, real sportsmen.
we should say thanks to Alex and the team, Alex and Mark and Ash for doing another great show, we never really give them the correct props but they've got an incredible amount of energy that they infuse the studio with.
Well you haven't, you're ill as well aren't you Adam?
I'm not as ill as you but yeah I've got a bit of a cold going on.
If you're ill you're in the right place this afternoon.
Listen we've got an amazing prize this week listeners, we're giving away a helicopter flying lesson.
That's incredible.
Yeah?
Isn't that incredible?
For one lucky winner thanks to 118 and their A-Team campaign.
So I've never personally never been in a helicopter before.
Yeah.
Have you?
Yeah.
No, I don't think I have.
So that's amazing.
A helicopter flying lesson.
That's frightening.
What use would that have?
Just the one lesson.
you can't presumably learn how to fly a helicopter in just one lesson yeah it's very easy is it yes yes is it because you switch them on yeah and then it's there's just an up stick and a down stick well what about forward forward forwards it's like a joystick you get in there you know what i don't want to go in a helicopter why not
Because if a plane breaks down it can glide to the ground if a helicopter breaks it smashes into a cliffside and explodes into flames if you're lucky that's what usually happens with helicopters no not on this occasion obviously you know this is the world's safest one so
I wonder how we're gonna give that prize away we'll work it out later in the show but that's a pretty amazing price plus we've got five copies of Gus Van Sant's last days DVDs the film that is not based on Kurt Cobain no no no no no no no no no no not based on Kurt Cobain ideal for anyone who needs a nap have you seen it Adam yes I hear it's great
Well, you just- You're a bit thick.
Absolutely brilliant.
You are thick.
No, I am a bit thick, it's true.
You are a bit thick.
Come on, if you're more intelligent than Adam, you'll love that.
And we've got three Masters of Horror DVDs.
That's good.
They're a box set, aren't they?
That's a series of one-hour horror things that have been showing on Bravo, but they're all directed by famous directors.
One of them's directed by Takashi Miike, who did Audition and stuff.
And it's so horrible, they're not going to release it.
Really?
Only going to release it on DVD.
Do we have that one?
Are we giving away that one?
We'll have a look and get back to you on that one.
Plus, of course, brilliant music from the Zoutons coming up, hard five charlatans, the Killers, Oasis, the Arctic Monkeys, that's all just the first hour.
And a few nuggets that we'll throw in as well, non-playlist nuggets for you listeners.
So let's play some more music right now.
This is the Zoutons.
Why won't you give me your love?
By the Zootons.
They don't like futons.
They love crunchy croutons.
What was the other one?
Ah, I can't remember.
Uh... Two tons.
Their combined weight is two tons.
They are the zoo tons.
With Why Don't You Give Me Your Love.
Uh, Adam and Jo on XFM, we've had a couple of texts.
Already we've got things to deal with.
Yeah, apparently, apparently if a helicopter, if the engine breaks, there's still energy in the, what do they call them, choppers?
The chopper!
The chopper wings!
In the chopper wings, there's still a bit of energy in the chopper wings.
They still whizz round, and it can land.
It just does a bit of a bumpy landing.
What's the official- he had the technical term for, uh, helichopter wings.
Energy.
That they still have.
Auto-rotate.
A helicopter can auto-rotate.
There you go.
Yeah.
So that's actually encouraged me.
I now might go in a helichopter.
Helichopter.
You won't immediately slam into the side of a mountain.
and explode into flames.
Um, so wow, that's a good prize.
We've still got to figure out exactly what we're gonna... We've got, we've got, um, Crap Commentary Corner coming up.
We've got a Crap Commentary Corner coming up.
Is it easy?
Well, you know we had a brilliant, uh, Crap Commentary two weeks ago with Guy Ritchie's insane cabala-based rantings on the DVD of Revolver?
Yes.
And, you know, Crap Commentary's peak and trough, this week it's a trough.
couple of weeks ago peak this week trough yeah i had real trouble finding one i was ill they're so boring anyway dvd commentaries you do have to sift through a lot to get to the good stuff so i've put an extra twist on it this week right i'm not going to tell you what it is oh that's exciting well that's coming up in about 10 minutes time anyway um and then of course we've got a text competition in the second hour so we'll see how it goes with the crap commentary corner as far as giving away the chopper flights
Erm, hey, have you been getting, er, weird emails about your bank details?
Well, what, those, er, phishing ones, with a ph, phishing it's called.
Is it?
Yeah, when you, when you send a fake one from the Halifax or something and, er, they say che- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's famous.
Is it?
That's been going on for years, yes.
For years!
Yeah.
It's only just started happening to me.
To you?
Yeah.
Have you responded to any of them?
I was thinking about it.
And then I wised up, I decided to take the precaution of ringing my bank and saying, Excuse me, what are, why are you sending me those emails?
Why are, what does it mean?
And uh... What did they say?
They said, you haven't responded to them, have you?
In quite a tired way.
And I said, no, not yet.
Why, why, what is it?
and they said, well, they're fake, obviously, and, um- Man, you're funny, aren't you?
Because you're a very clever guy.
But you fall for stuff like that.
Like, you fall for those scratch cards they give away in the Sunday magazines.
Well, since when?
Well, don't you remember, like, last year you came in and you thought you'd won a holiday to France?
Yeah, that's right.
Because it fell out of the news of the world, and you didn't realise it was a holiday in a port-a-loo in a specific week, and you had to pay for the flights and cooking and accommodation.
That's quite true.
And there was no running water.
Because I'm hopeful.
I want life to be... You're optimistic.
Okay.
I'm an optimist.
I'm such a jerk.
You're not.
It's just funny that you're an intelligent man, but yet... I was so excited about increasing my penis size as well, and that really had to be a complete scam.
Did it get smaller?
Yeah.
Hey, Joe, we've got a free play right now, and this is something you've brought in.
Would you like to introduce it?
Yeah, this is an exciting new band.
This single comes out in a month or so, I think.
They're called 28 Costumes, aren't they?
Correct.
Yeah.
And this is a really good song.
Check this out.
This is called You Excite Me.
oh dear it was all going so well and then they messed it up on the guitar at the end how embarrassing they fired that guy why do you think they kept it in should have cut that bit out we're joking of course that's 28 costumes hot new band hot new band they remember that name they sounded a little bit like interpol covering suede yeah i think they're playing live uh in london in the next few days and that single comes out in a month or so
Uh, 28 costumes with you excite me.
What now, Adam Buxton?
Well, I thought- I thought we'd play, um, some adverts, Joe, because I'm a big fan.
I love adverts.
I've got a lot of disposable income.
Yeah, same here.
And... I just need some stuff.
I'm always keen to track down the best in whatever field.
And advice as well.
You know?
About drugs and that kind of thing.
That's right.
Well, that's the kind of thing you can expect from this series of adverts.
William.
And after that, I think we should play Crap Commentary Corner.
Good plan.
So, listeners, stay tuned.
xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm xfm
That's the charlatans with blackened blue eyes.
This is Adam and Jo here on XFM.
It's competition time right now.
It's time to call in.
You could win something amazing.
Let us begin.
Can you guess which film we're playing?
I hear and what they're saying.
Crap commentary corner.
Oh dear, you know, because I've been ill, I watched all Saturday morning telly this morning.
Oh yeah.
Stephen and Holly's Saturday misery fest.
What channel is that on?
ITV, that's dreadful.
Dick and Dom, which is fantastic.
And there's another one, CDUK or something.
They've all got jingles like that.
Have they?
Non-stop, stupidly sung jingles.
Mad jingles.
Yeah.
And we're adding to it.
Well, they ripped us off, man.
That's true, we did it first.
Ministry of Mayhem, they get all their stuff from us.
Anyway, that's another topic of conversation.
It's time to play Crap Commentary Corner.
And at stake, the prize, listeners, is this helicopter flying lesson.
That's right.
Learn how to fly a helicopter.
Who knows when that could come in useful?
At least begin to learn how to fly.
If you join the army, you'll be a step ahead of all the other grunts.
Mainly it's a chance to just be up in a helicopter and have your hand on the flying stick.
You know?
That's exciting.
So this is possibly the most exciting prize we've ever given away.
And it's thanks to 118 and their A-Team campaign.
Because the A-Team went around in a helicopter, didn't they?
Sometimes.
Apart from Mr. T. Because he hated flying, you fool.
I don't like flying, you fool.
No flying fully.
Brilliant.
OK, so let's waste no more time.
The number is 0-8-7-1-222-1049.
0-8-7-1-222-1049.
If you can tell us who this is speaking, what actor or actress,
and what movie this commentary is taken from, but there's a twist this week.
Isn't it, Adam?
Yeah, it's outrageous.
I mean, it is... I would say it's virtually impossible.
It's virtually impossible.
If you get this from this first clip, cos we've adjusted the speed of the voice, it's too easy when listened to at a normal speed.
So we've adjusted the speed of this person's voice, and it makes them sound very, very unlike how they really sound.
And you've made it slower, we should say, obviously.
Yeah, yeah.
And it really has made them sound quite horrifically kind of creepy.
Like a very, very stone tramp.
Yeah.
So have a listen to this, yeah.
I don't know, I read this program that I met with Tony and um well of course everybody loves Tony, he's like craziness but um so I met him and then um I mean I totally like wanted to do it like totally totally totally.
Whoa.
That sounds dreadful and um I think it's not, people need to know I think that it's actually a much younger person than that sounds.
Right.
You know?
OK, well, listen, 0-8-7-1-triple-2-1 on 4-9, and have a guess.
If no-one is getting it, we'll play you the clip at normal speed.
But it's a sort of... The slow one is too hard, and the fast one, and the normal one's too easy.
I don't think the normal one is too easy, you reckon?
OK, well, let's see what comes through from that.
OK, shall we just play it one more time?
Have a listen and listen to what she's talking about, not that that's particularly helpful.
I don't know, I read this program that I met with Tony and, well, of course, everybody loves Tony.
He's like, craziness, but I'm sorry, I met him and then, I mean, I totally, like, honest to it.
Totally, totally, totally.
Everybody loves Tony.
So Toni is the person that she worked with.
I think we can tell people that Toni is the person that directed the film she was in.
So think younger, think much younger and... Think Toni.
Think Toni.
08712221049 to win that helicopter flying lesson.
Let's play some more music right now.
Here are the Killers with Mr. Brightside.
Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine
I never.
I never did.
I never done it.
I never.
Not me.
I never.
That was Mr. Brightside.
One of us has got to talk.
We've become one tedious person.
That's the killers with Mr. Brightside.
We have a couple of people on the line now who think that they might know the identity of the slowed down actress that we played before.
Shall we hear the clip just once more before we go to the phones?
Let's hear the creepy clip.
Um, I read this group that I met with Tony and, um, well, of course, everybody loves Tony.
It's like craziness.
But, um, so I met him and then, um, I mean, I totally, like, want to do it.
Totally, totally, totally.
That's frightening, man.
It just sounds like someone with a very badly bashed in jaw.
Yes.
So Maxine, hello, Maxine.
Hello.
How you doing?
Not too bad, you?
Uh, uh, well, temperature, flu, you know, apart from that, very well.
Oh, can I hear that?
Yeah, thanks for your sympathy.
Um, so you reckon you- how come- how come you reckon you know who that is?
It's a stab in the dark, to be honest.
Is it?
I think it's Reese Witherspoon.
Based on what?
No evidence whatsoever?
None whatsoever.
She's female.
You know what, I can understand where Maxine's coming from.
Can you, Adam?
Yeah, because of the overbite.
Do you know what I mean?
You know Reese Witherspoon's got that kind of, um- Oh, she's got a Jimba jaw.
She's got a prominent jaw.
And now, and a Jimba jaw's different from an overbite, though.
Jimba jaw is an underbite, isn't it, like that, with British foreshife.
Right, yeah, yeah.
Whereas an overbite is- It's not all the way around, but- That's just a Chinaman.
Of course I'm being stupid.
He's just being ironic and racist.
I'm being 70s.
But, er, yeah, so, sorry, where were we?
Is that why it's called a jimba jaw?
Yeah.
Isn't it a jimba jaw when a jaw sticks out?
Never heard of that.
That's brilliant.
It sounds right.
So, and you think that, er, Reese Witherspoon's jimba jaw might make her sound a bit sort of, er, strange.
She's the highest paid woman in Hollywood.
She is.
But it's not the correct answer to our competition.
Oh, no.
Sorry about that.
Hey, do you want a prize anyway?
Yeah.
Yeah, you can't go in a helicopter Maxine, I'm sorry about that.
But, um, but you can.
What can she do, Joe?
What about, you could have a Masters of Horror DVD.
Do you like horror?
Maxine, are you a brainy person?
Um, yeah, I'm extremely intellectual.
Are you a bit arty as well?
Er, yeah.
Maybe you'd like a copy of Gus Van Sant's Last Days video, cos it is, I mean it is, I was only joking before, er, it's certainly ponderous, I'll say that much for it, but it is kind of, there's lots of brilliant things about it, and it is whatever he says, kind of based on the last days of Kurt Cobain.
So it's well worth seeing if you'd like that.
Do you want that Maxine?
That would be lovely, thank you.
Hurrah!
Thank you very much for calling.
Good guess.
Yeah, very good guess.
But it's not Witherspoon.
We've got a second caller, Rael on the line.
Hello, Rael.
Hello, there.
Am I saying your name right?
Rael or Rael?
Like a train track.
Oh, Rael, right.
Not like one of the demons in Ghostbusters.
Are you British, Rael?
I am, that's why I'm English, yeah.
British, Rael.
Lots of people call you British, Rael.
I've never heard that before, actually.
Have you not?
I'm the king!
It's amazing.
People always say that all the time, but that never happens.
It's weird.
Rael, what do you do for a living?
Are you a student, or?
I'm actually unemployed right now.
No, that's wrong.
What are your skills?
I was buying for my job a few days ago.
Let's get you a job.
What are your skills?
You could be a train driver.
I tell you what your skill might be.
Your skill is recognising slowed down voices.
That is my skill.
Is there a place in society for someone with that skill?
Who knows?
What was your mental process with the competition, Rael?
Well, my mental process was, I had heard the commentary in question and therefore recognised it instantly.
No, you're joking.
Man, you are unemployed, aren't you?
You're a nerd!
Have you seriously heard it?
Yeah, yeah, I have.
Well, it's because, to be honest, I heard it in my job while I was doing some work on the film, so I heard it, you know?
You've worked on this film?
Yeah, in a very simple manner.
This is good.
I've been syncing up the commentary.
So who is it?
It's Dakota Fanning, and she's doing a commentary on Man on Fire, talking about Tony Scott, the director of the film.
Brilliant.
So should we hear the... can we be bothered to hear the clips?
Yeah, let's hear the slowdown version just one more time to remind people of how creepy it is, and the brilliance of Rael's deductive reasoning and memory powers.
I don't know, I read the script and then I met with Tony and, um, well correct, everybody loves Tony.
He's like, craziness, but, um... Oh, that's so frightening.
It is like craziness.
Can we hear it at normal speed now?
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, at normal speed.
I read the script and then I met with Tony and, um, well correct, everybody loves Tony.
He's like, craziness, but, um, sorry, I met him and then, um, I mean, I totally, like, wanted to do it.
Like, totally, totally, totally.
Now that one sounds like the freaky version, doesn't it?
The munchkin version.
But that's real.
That's the way that Dakota speaks.
Being ve- being very young.
Like totally.
So Royal, what did you- what sort of work did you do on Man on Fire?
It was very simple, basically just the transfer job, taking the sound from one source and putting it onto another source so that for the DVD... You mean you burnt off a CD of the soundtrack for one of your mates?
I stole it and I listened to it on a daily basis, just because I really enjoyed hearing the case, and talking about the kind of clothes she was wearing in the film for two hours.
So you were responsible for making sure it all synced up?
Basically, that's it, yeah, yeah.
The disturbing thing about Dakota Fanning on that commentary track is she talks exactly like an adult.
She doesn't just talk, she obviously spends too much time with adults, she doesn't- No, you're right, you're absolutely right.
And she laughs like an adult, she's got this laugh of, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Like that, seriously, obviously it's a bit higher pitch than that, but it's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah, well that's just a horse noise, isn't it, Rayo?
That's right, yeah, a bit of mother hoist noise.
I couldn't really do an impression.
So listen, Rael, congratulations, thanks for calling in.
You're going in a helicopter.
Do you want that prize or will that frighten you?
That sounds, you know, pretty exciting to me.
I'll be up for helicopter action, yeah.
You definitely, but listen, man, this is a big prize.
You can't just take the prize and then just not do it, okay?
You have to do it, man.
I think you've got to call us and tell us what it was like.
On any basis, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, you're going in a whirlybird.
Whirlybird.
That's what they call them.
I haven't called it like that.
It's going to be amazing, Rell, and please, would you let us know how it went?
And I hope you have a fantastic time, and thank you very much for calling in.
Especially let us know how it goes if the... Don't say anything like that at all.
It's just been a heavy landing.
Oh, fine.
We'll be back soon.
XFM This is XFM This is XFM XFM XFM
The load I'm takin' Just make amends The gold line's gonna tell me where the light is The light is, the light is The light is, the light is La la la la la la La la la la Love music, love music Love XFM
that's nice yeah that's a free play there shouldn't really have played it out of the break joe that's not on isn't it no it's not allowed so i might be fired for that sorry xfm bosses but it is a lovely song uh it's captain beefheart my head is my only house unless it rains and see they're pointing out that we were talking about jim but yours earlier that will young has the most prominent jim but your in pop
Yeah.
The jimba jaw, it must be a sign of power or something.
Do you think?
Confidence, yeah.
If you can put your best jaw forward, it means that people are going to believe in what you have to peddle.
Because he's a very successful man.
And you know, I just can't get over the fact that Witherspoon is the highest paid woman in Hollywood.
It's anybody's game.
It's extraordinary.
What has she done to deserve that?
Walk the Line is her most celebrated role, correct?
Otherwise it's Legally Blonde 1 and 2 and... Well, she's in Election, right?
That's really good.
She was really good.
And Freeway.
Isn't she in Freeway?
That's really good as well.
I mean, I know she's a talented actress, obviously, but she's one of those people a bit like, this is a controversial point of view, but a bit like Johnny Depp, who's basically been in a lot of films that I really couldn't be bothered to watch from start to finish.
You know what I mean?
Anyway, let's move from one controversial topic to another.
Well, it's not really controversial, it's sort of tragic.
The drug trials, obviously we don't want to poke fun at anyone involved or... No, this is a deeply serious and horrible story, but we would like to talk a bit about the way the press have covered it.
Yeah, it was just very weird.
So what we're going to say now is actually nothing to do with the appalling predicament of the people themselves, but we're specifically addressing the papers and the sensationalist tone with which they covered it, as if
it was some sort of Marvel superhero of a origin story.
Basically the story was so horrific that people, that the media just got in a complete excitement about it.
Just thought, wow, this is like Jacob's ladder or something.
You know what I mean?
I mean, it's most like Jacob's ladder, isn't it?
yeah don't you think no i'm saying in in theme and uh fear factor so what what the idea being that they were trying to turn it into like something out of a movie yeah they were playing on people's fears and and uh exploiting the fact and mental images that people already have in their heads like elephant man references and stuff like that yeah exactly when nobody actually knows what the truth is of what went on in there
No, and of course there's no photographs to corroborate any of that kind of, uh, scrawl.
But they had these interviewees, like the, the, one of the poor blokes, his girlfriend was talking about, uh, going in and seeing him, she was very tearful.
And she was the one that was using these phrases, like the, he was like the elephant man, he was so puffy, she couldn't bear to look at him, and she was, like, whispering in his ear for him, saying, come on, get your cells to regenerate.
And all these sort of lines that more or less could have been lifted out of a film.
They must have been just rubbing their hands with glee.
I saw BBC News 24 running the interview with his girlfriend quite a lot and they ran it really long as well.
They were just sort of thinking, wow, people are going to be freaking out over the ideas and the mental images that this horrific stuff is conjuring.
And they really milked it.
Did you say that some paper had
Um, reported someone as saying that one of their heads exploded?
Yeah, that headline in the sun was, uh, I saw man's head explode.
That's insane!
Then I turned inside and there was no reference to a head exploding.
No, of course not.
It was just swelling fast.
Yeah, yeah.
That's not exploding, is it?
Misery.
I was thinking scanners.
Yeah, exactly.
You know?
That's crazy.
Anyway, I think there's been some sensationalist reporting there.
It's outrageous.
Anyway, the latest news I checked this morning was that there are now just two men who are remaining critically ill, so I do hope that they improve very quickly.
But what's going to happen to drug trials themselves now?
Because presumably they will have to continue testing drugs on humans at some, you know, at some level.
But who's going to volunteer for them?
um and i guess they're just gonna have to make it really worth your while like pay you a load of money would you ever go up for one now no would you definitely not not even if they offered you like 20 000 no no no no no i'd never do that
But you never would in the first place.
Robert Rodriguez did it, didn't he?
The guy that directed El Mariachi and Spy Kids and Sin City.
Yeah.
He famously started his movie career by being a human guinea pig.
Right.
That's how he raised the money for his first low budget film.
Yeah, well I, you know, I've met lots of people.
There's always students and people who are doing drug trials and stuff like that.
Not those kind of drug trials, but medical ones.
And I always marveled, I must say, at the mentality of someone who would do that, because you just think that is freaky.
But the thing is, they are mainly assured that the worst symptoms they will experience are things like headaches and a bit of nausea.
Apart from that, they're okay, generally.
Anyway, I hope they all improve, you know, and get better, that kind of thing.
But oh dear, misery.
Okie doke, let's play some more music now.
And this is the Arctic Monkeys, When the Sun Goes Down.
They're like a sensation.
That's a band called the Funky Monkeys.
They're very big.
Very big.
If you're young.
And did you know?
What?
That they never had any publicity.
Oh.
No.
And it spread through the internet.
On the internet.
Did you know?
No.
That it spread through the internet.
They're very spotty.
I think they're marvelous.
Yes.
yes so listen we've had a number of calls and texts giving it telling us a fact that we didn't previously know that apparently since the horrific events in that drug testing center applications for drug trials have rocketed up thousands of people are now applying because because the newspapers have told them that they get you get paid two grand yeah and they're thinking two grand good deal yeah I'll have some of that
But it's too weird.
It's not enough.
Surely.
Very strange.
Anyway, I guess it's good that they're getting to test their drugs.
Yeah, thanks to Chris who texted that in.
And who was that on the phone?
Somebody call Les.
Les, thanks, Les.
Yeah, that's fascinating.
What strange, er, people people are.
People are strange.
This is a brilliant point, Joe.
Yeah, you never thought that.
People are strange.
I was just thinking, people are weird.
The world's a weird place.
I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what, Joe.
Erm, there's now stranger than folk.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's not the, er, correct phrase, yeah.
Right then.
We'll be back shortly and launching our text competition for the second hour.
We've still got lots of amazing prizes to give away and great music to play and there's still so much to live for here on XFM.
XFM.
Love music.
Love XFM.
This is XFM.
What are you going on about Joe?
What?
I'm just reading a mag.
What, are you talking about the bathroom?
That sounded interesting.
That was Coldplay, by the way, with the hardest part.
Yeah, it's not interesting, trust me.
The bot- it sounded amazing.
What are you reading?
Telegraph Magazine.
Can I say hello to, uh, the builders that are doing my, um, kitchen?
No, you can't.
Lee and Will and Danny.
You got Lee around?
Yeah, you know Lee Adam.
Yeah.
They're doing such good work.
They found some asbestos this morning and yesterday they found an old rat's nest in a skeleton.
I bet they planted it.
They're fearless.
They planted it.
They don't care, they just tear it out.
Typical Lee, that's classic Lee.
Do you think, can't the asbestos stick another ground on?
Ooh, bad news, I'm afraid, Joe.
Found a bit of asbestos in there.
Ooh, dear.
No, there's a skeleton down there.
Ooh, dear, rats.
You're so cynical.
He'll never work for you again.
He's brilliant, Lee.
He's a genius.
He's a genius!
Anyway, it's time for text competition, listeners.
The text number is 83XFM, 83XFM, and the winner of this text competition will get a pair of tickets to see the Dead Sixties, or a Gus Van Sant DVD of Last Days, or a Masters of Horror DVD.
So what's the competition, Ad?
Well, this is a competition that I imagine might have been done before in the world.
But I was struck by a humorously named shop in a small village that I visited the other day in Norfolk.
And it's a shop that specializes in dyeing all kinds of fabric, OK?
So it's called We Dye to Please.
nice well not not really i was thinking i was thinking if you're gonna have a shop that specializes in dying and you can you've got all those puns available to you yeah why would you settle for we die to please pretty much anything would be better than that no but you don't want to make people think they're gonna die really yeah because i was today oh well you do i was thinking it'd be better if it was called we're all gonna die someone that one would shop there would they not
What about live and let die?
That's better.
That's good.
That's better than we die to please, surely.
How about this?
Died and gone to heaven.
That's good.
Yeah?
Or what about this?
You've got to die sometime.
Yeah.
That's not quite so good, is it?
Because that, again, makes you think of mortality.
But anyway, so basically, I'm curious to hear either, maybe not real shop puns that people have seen,
Although if they're very good, I would be curious to hear them.
But I want people to make up some good shot puns, because it's an enjoyable pastime, making up shot puns.
Right, we've had one already, Cheeses of Nazareth.
That's an old one, isn't it?
That is old.
Maybe this is an insane competition, isn't it?
But here's a few real shot puns that actually exist.
I was looking for these on the internet, and I found out that there is a book, a whole book dedicated to these, which is called Shop Horror, which I believe that Richard and Judy talked about on their show.
So here's a bit more publicity for Shop Horror.
come on Richard and Judy's excellent yeah it is yes it is it's one of the best shows on TV okay for a hairdresser's okay these are real real ones curl up and die obviously that's a famous one the lunatic fringe quite good clipped to mania that's just mad what are you you could be more enthusiastic about these like being honest just cheer for some of these okay how about this a flower shop Austin wait you haven't even heard it yet Austin flowers did
Like Austin Powers.
Yes!
How about this?
Pizza delivery place called Pizza The Action.
Oh, I love that phrase generally.
Cos it's like piece of the action.
That's a phrase people use in newspapers all the time.
Yeah, that's true.
Grab a piece of the action.
How about this?
Chinese place called Walk This Way.
That's good.
Nice.
Yeah.
For this one, Thai food, Bo Thai.
Oh.
Yeah?
Yeah.
And it's Bo, it's spelt B-E-A-U.
Quite good.
And I was thinking for a restaurant that didn't serve Thai food, how about Thai The Knot?
Because it doesn't serve Thai food.
Yeah.
OK, here's another real one.
Curtain shop.
It's curtains for you.
Oh, brilliant.
That's good, isn't it?
Again, the customer's dead.
Yeah.
You just like to execute your customers.
No, they're not going to.
You're not going to think about that.
I'm not going to go in there because they're threatening to kill me.
I just want some curtains.
Shoe repair place.
Cobblers to you.
That's good.
It's aggressive.
yeah it's a bit aggressive but you know very aggressive high street exactly tanning salon cosmopolitan that's dreadful isn't it that is rubbish on no level is that good no that's a real one that's a real one are these all real that so far those were all real except for thai the knot for a restaurant that doesn't serve thai food
So I want people to come it come up with some names for example I thought maybe I could limit the competition to give it some parameters Come up with names for you've got a choice of three a key cutters your eyes a chiropractors
or a laundrette.
Say once more, key cutters?
Key cutters.
Yeah.
Chiropractors.
C-H-I.
Chiropractor is like a back doctor.
Chiropractor.
How do you spell that?
C-H-I-R-O.
Practor.
Or a laundrette.
Okay, key cutter, chiropractor, laundrette.
Okay, I'm gonna have a think during the next record.
I want some punny names for those.
And, uh, see this is real radio.
Yeah, is it?
Puns.
Puns, that's what radio's all about.
It's Adam and Joe on XFM.
Is it music now?
It's music time!
MMMMM
editors with munich uh this is adam and joe here on a saturday afternoon it's a glorious saturday afternoon it is look at that glorious if only it would stay it's getting a bit ludicrous the coldness don't you think joke yeah and it certainly has got it because cold doesn't actually give you a cold does it no but the extreme temperature changes do yeah
and it just makes you more susceptible.
How are you feeling anyway, Joe Cornish?
I'm okay, I've taken anodin full strength caps, yeah?
And I feel alright, I feel like, more powerful than usual.
Are you a ibuprofen man or a paracetamol man?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Would you go for, what are they called, what are the really strong painkillers called?
Well there's paracetamol or...
Well, come on, thickies!
What's the other one?
You can't all be as thick as I am.
Oh, I'd be profan, you're right.
I'd be profan.
I'd be profan the opposite of... Anyway, listen, we're getting these, er, we're getting these text ideas in, Adam Buxton.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK.
So here, shall I give you a little quick sample of some of the level of, er, ideas we're getting?
You sound a little angry with me there, as if I've launched a bad competition.
I don't know, I don't know, you know.
Well, I think it's difficult for people to stay, er, you know, within your parameters of key cutters, choropractors and laundrettes.
I thought it would be good to impose some parameters.
Has that backfired?
Nazia in Manor Park has an idea for a chiropractors called We've Got Your Back.
That's quite good.
Why is that?
Cos it means, like, we've got your back, like, we're looking after you, we're watching out for you, but at the same time, quite literally, you come on.
You understand that.
I've never heard the phrase, uh, uh, we've got your back.
Oh, come on, that's a very popular phrase.
Is that amongst cops or something?
Nah, just I've got your back.
It just means I'm looking out for you, yeah.
I've got your back, you can go into the drug den now, I'll shoot any drug people that come out.
Spine thrillers.
What's that?
What?
Just reading what people have sent.
Abby, can I suggest spine tinglers would be better than spine thrillers?
A key cut is called copy cuts.
just quite good copy cuts is quite good yeah it's quite good come on yeah yeah or uh you know spine thrillers just call it spine box can't read that out has he got a dirty one no it's just bad come on read a bad one uh for key cutters a bit of new key and then in brackets he's put the word nookie
I thought he was talking about the place.
An air conditioning shop called Don't Cool Us, Will Cool You.
Yeah, yeah, well that's good.
That probably just exists though, doesn't it?
Some of these are quite painful.
This is a rubbish competition.
I apologise.
Hey, this is quite good.
What?
No it's not.
It looked quite good at first.
A key cutters would be called Little Shop of Lockers.
What?
That's supposed to sound like Little Shop of Horrors.
Horrors doesn't sound like lockers.
You may as well call it Star Wars Keys.
Yeah.
Or King Keys.
Burglars King.
Key cutters called Burglars King.
What?
That's quite good, isn't it?
Like Burger King?
Yeah.
What's the guy- it's got nothing to do with keys!
I thought a good name for a key cutters would be- I'll cut you.
I'll cut you.
That's a bit threatening, isn't it?
Or, Cutters Way.
Cutters Way.
Very good Jeff Bridges film.
Well, you set the competition.
We're all trying our best to make you happy.
I know, I know.
Listen, I'm going to try and come up with some decent ones.
That are actually good.
Yeah.
We've had a couple of good ones in there already.
There's some good ones being sent in.
Jeepers.
Cutters Way.
Look, I've got an excuse and I've got a temperature.
Yeah, OK.
You're healthy.
Here's Jack Johnson.
We're going to a few more of our competition entries.
Are we back on?
Yeah, we're back on.
I'm blowing my nose, though.
Go on, it's candid.
You don't have to blow it right in the mic.
I didn't.
I've got multicoloured tissues.
Have you?
It's brilliant.
You never know what colour the next one will be.
Do you remember when that was exciting?
When I was a child, multicoloured tissues were really exciting.
Were you genuinely excited by multicoloured tissues?
Green, purple, pink, what's it going to be?
But they should have ones with different levels of, um, you know, different textures.
Some of them should be really rough, and some should be very smooth.
Why would that be good?
That's not a good idea, is it?
Yeah.
So listen, yeah, this text competition- This text competition- Which we admit is a bit rubbish, you admit that, don't you?
I do admit that, yeah.
But yet, some of these entries are entering an area of rubbish that's quite special.
Rubbishness.
They've got quite a unique- Special rubbacity.
And you've had a- a couple of people have actually phoned, haven't they, Xanthi?
Yeah.
But you've failed to tell us who and what they've said.
Well, yeah, but no-one wants to hear you say it.
Come on, they do.
I'm being silly, of course.
Where's your mics at?
I'm being silly, Xanthi, say it, go on.
Hello?
Can we hear you?
Hello?
There we go, speak, come on, don't make a... OK, we've got Mickey with Alicia's keys.
That's... Now, he's assuming that the person that owns this shop is called Alicia.
Alicia's keys.
I think that's very good.
Well done, Mickey.
Next, please.
His other idea was twist and shout.
For what?
For a laundrette.
Why, why?
Cos it's the name of a song.
No, no, no, it can't be for a laundrette.
It must be for a chiropractor.
Oh, sorry.
For a laundrette?
Zanthe, your debut.
Cos it's the name of a song, says Zanthe.
What else, what else?
Come on, quickly.
It's a lockout.
a lockout for our key cutters yeah that's quite good that's good because it works on a number of different levels does it adam what levels then well there was a program called it's a knockout it's a lockout it's a lock shop no that there's a there's a thing that happens in a pub which is a lock it's a lock yeah but it's the reverse of that and then there's so how would you how would you
how would you build on that in the, like, display of your shop?
Would you have a picture of- who was the guy that hosted it to knock out Edd's Hall?
Eddy Waring Hall.
Eddy Waring or whatever- Stuart Hall.
Stuart Hall, that's right.
Or you'd have a picture of him with keys instead of hands.
Yeah, and when you- when you went through the door, instead of like a- a- a bell that went off, you could have the sound of Stuart Hall going,
No one's coming to your shops.
I want you back.
I want your back.
It's somebody's.
They're still coming in.
Well, has no one done lock... Key cutters.
Fob you off.
That's quite good.
Fob you off is good.
And several people have texted him back to the future for a chiropractor.
What about lock stock and... There's got to be some lock stock pun for key cutters.
Lock, lock and two smoking locks.
Yeah.
Lock stock and two keys.
In a barrel.
Oh, dear.
Shall we wrap this thing up?
Yeah.
Well, we've got to choose a winner.
I can't possibly choose a winner at such short notice.
All right, I tell you what.
It's going to take ages.
We'll do some ads and some music and then we'll come back with a winner.
How do you choose between a hundred really awful ideas?
I'm not saying that we haven't had any better ones.
We've had a lot of experience.
A long track called Spinsters.
That's a new one.
That's good.
Maybe that could be the winner.
We'll come back with the big announcement after this.
Love music.
Love XFM.
Mmm, that's KT, the Tunstall, with Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.
The second single to be taken from the Scottish singer-songwriter's debut album, Eye to the Telescope.
So listen, if you've entered our text competition and been listening to the text competition period of the show, well done.
Thanks for sticking with us.
And we're going to close it now.
We've got a caller on the line.
Ooh, that's a strange noise.
Nice little bit of mucus-based mucus.
Sean in London.
Hello, Sean.
Hello there.
What do you think of the text competition, Sean?
Er, it was rubbish, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Come on, Sean.
You're not supposed to fold that quickly.
But you're going to win it!
I know, but... So you're calling yourself rubbish in a way?
No, I was just a little bit better than rubbish.
I was nearly rubbish.
Well, here's a good one, your one.
Tell us what your one is, and this is for a laundrette, right?
Er, it was wash your back.
What?
No, no, come on, mate.
It was wash your problem.
Wash your...
What's your problem?
That's good.
Did you genuinely forget what it was called there, Sean?
Uh, yes.
Or were you trying to slip in an extra, uh, hybrid?
Have another go.
Of the chiropodist and the launderette.
Wash your back.
Wash your problems, genius.
Did you make that up or have you seen it somewhere else?
I'm afraid I made that up, yes.
very clever man.
Would you like a prize?
Oh, go on, what have you got?
One pair of tickets to see the Dead Sixties at the Astoria tomorrow night.
A Gus Van Sant DVD or a Masters of Horror DVD?
Oh, a Masters of Horror DVD.
Masters of Horror.
Yes, you may have that.
Well done.
OK, thank you.
Hey, thanks a lot for, you know, basically lifting the quality of that.
Lazing your competition.
Yeah, yeah.
It's half an hour of competition as well.
That's dreadful, isn't it?
Are you the kind of person that usually switches off when people have competitions on the radio, Sean?
And no, I furiously send in rubbish entries.
Do you?
Good.
There was one other quite good one, which is you spin my whites round, baby whites round.
That's quite good, isn't it?
That is quite good.
From Abby.
I thought of a couple for chiropractors.
Back in the action?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's terrible, isn't it?
And how about this?
This is dreadful.
Batman, turn her over.
Drive?
That's terrible.
The driver's got nothing to do with it at the end as well.
Anyway, I'm really happy to be able to put that competition finally to bed.
Thanks, Sean.
Don't tell anyone this happened.
OK?
Let's keep it between... you're the only person listening.
Let's keep it between the three of us.
OK.
Cheers, Ed, Sean.
Thanks for your call.
Can I just run a text competition for next week by you?
Yeah, go on then.
I can't work out how to make this work, but I'm obsessed with what I call parasite shows.
You know, if there's a hit show on TV, they'll have like a sister show.
Yeah, Big Brother's Big Mouth, then... Yeah, like, well, Big Brother's got two, hasn't it?
It's got Big Brother's Little Brother, then Big Brother's, uh, yeah, Big Mouth.
Then there's Dancing on Ice, Defrosted.
Right.
Then there's The Apprentice, You're Fired.
Mm-hm.
Then there was Space Cadets, The Satellite Show.
And now there's The Games, Inside Track.
Yeah.
So my idea for a text competition maybe next week was come up with your own rubbish titles for a spin-off show.
That's a good idea.
Is that a good idea?
So you're giving people a whole week to think of them?
Well no, the thing is I couldn't think of any funny ones.
Right.
I couldn't think of a single funny one.
Well let's have a think.
And I think maybe this competition is flawed.
It's gotta be, there's gotta be something in there, surely.
Well that's next week, isn't it?
Let's have a think.
Uh, free play right now, um, as we approach the final section of the show.
This is Canned Heat.
Little bit of sitar at the end here, Joel.
Never goes amiss, you know?
Can I ask you a question?
Go on then.
Why are one in three men in London wearing narrowly striped multicoloured scarfs?
Have you noticed that?
Oh, I saw my- Every single man in London is wearing a scarf with very thin multi-coloured stripes tied like this in that sort of noose fashion.
Right.
Are they- are they black, um, black scarves?
Scarves?
Yeah.
No, no, no, they're multi-coloured.
Yeah, I know, but black with multi-coloured stripes.
There's various different types, but the unifying factor is they all have very narrow multi-coloured stripes.
Well, it's a nice look.
So it's a fashion, obviously, is the answer.
But, well, you can't walk, I mean, someone out there listening is wearing one right now.
And surely you just, every other parson, parson?
Every other parson.
All the parsons are wearing them.
All the parsons, they're very big with parsons.
Everybody you pass in the street, all the parsons you pass in the street are wearing them.
I forgot what I was saying, I'm delirious.
You've invented a new word, it's brilliant.
I'm so ill.
Do you know what I was getting at?
Yeah, of course, yeah.
I mean, what's the point?
Everyone's wearing them.
Well, it's not.
Stop it!
People, it's utilitarian, isn't it?
They're not just wearing scarves to make an individualistic fashion statement, are they?
They're wearing them to feel the same as everybody else.
They just want to keep their necks warm, you lunatic.
No, they're trying to be trendy.
They've gone out and bought one of these scarves.
Where do you get them, anyway?
Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
I know what you're talking about.
I'm just trying to be perverse.
Now, shall we launch Ditties in the Dock, or should we do that after the break?
Let's do that right now.
Are you going to go right the way through?
No.
So, yes, Dizzy's in the Dock.
This is the part of the show where you, the listeners, vote for what song will play out with.
We get five voters on the show, on the telephone, on the lines.
Everybody who calls in and gets on the air wins a prize, which will be an exciting DVD.
And this week the theme is illness, because both Adam and I are ill.
You might have been able to tell by the slight low quality of the show.
And so I'll start with mine.
Mine is gonna be yeah funnily enough run DMC with you be illin you be illin Well is the most classic illin track of all time early hip-hop from the days when rappers didn't actually have to do it You know proper rapping so one of the lines in this song is dinner You ate it till there was nothing left.
It was salty with father and it was deaf.
Yeah
you couldn't get away with that these days but it's one of the most primitive raps you've ever heard but it's brilliant so i want you to call 0 8 7 1 2 2 1 0 4 9 and vote for run dmc with illin 0 8 7 1 triple 2 1 0 4 9 or i'm sure we had illin as the
Nah.
Now I'm a big Sparks fan, and I know that there's a lot of Sparks fans that listen to this show, so I implore you Sparks fans get on the phones now and vote for this classic slice of Ron and Russell male brilliance from the album propaganda, I think it is.
And it's just, as usual with Sparks, thematically, it's insane.
It's basically a song that seems to be about plague being spread in olden times, which is not something that people really write pop songs about that often.
But they managed to make it...
And may I say, infectious-ly catchy.
And it's a brilliant song, you know, and I implore you to vote for The Mighty Sparks.
So it's Sparks versus Run DMC, Ilyn versus Achoo for our flu-based Ditties in the Dock, the number again, 08712221049.
Everybody who gets on the air will win a copy of Last Days or Masters of Roron.
So please, call now!
XFM.
This is XFM.
XFM.
I love the sound of the waves.
You can take a picture of something you see above me.
I'm right on the whiteboard.
Love music.
Love XFM
Mmm, thank you very much.
That's Orson here on the Adam and Joe radio program with No Tomorrow.
I should have done, ooh, I should have done, uh, Doctor Doctor by the Thompson Twins.
Why?
Alan from Elton was, because I, it's a good song.
Yeah.
Yeah, anyway, okay, this is in the doc.
Of course, Sparks versus, uh, Run DMC.
Sparks with Achoo versus Run DMC with Ubi Illin.
Yeah, it's a flute theme.
And we got Aza on the line.
Hello, Aza.
Hi, hi.
Am I pronouncing your name correctly?
Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, that's cool.
Good stuff.
And what are your headlines, Aza?
What's going down in your world today?
What's on the front page of the Aza Times?
I'm taking some American cousins around London.
Oh, no.
I'm parked outside the Tower of London at the moment.
Oh, you're going to go to Madame Tussauds?
No, I think Westminster Abbey.
Yeah.
And we did Greenwich Observatory this morning.
What a day.
Are they enjoying it?
yeah i think so yeah what you should do of course is just take them to the cinema and get them to see kid out because it because it kicks the door right off its hinges that's what it says on the poster anyway i think they're used to a bit more uh sort of popcorn kind of stuff maybe
So what are you voting for?
Is it gonna be Run DMC or is it gonna be Sparks?
Yeah, Run DMC all the way.
Hey!
Well done!
And what would you like?
A copy of Gus Van Sant's Last Days or the Masters of Horror 2 DVD set?
Uh, the, uh, Gus Van Sant one, please.
Good choice.
Thanks for calling, Azar.
I hope you have a nice day with your Yankee Poodle friends and that they enjoy London.
That's not rude, is it?
Yankee Poodle?
No, I've just never heard the phrase Yankee Poodle before.
Yankee Poodle.
Sorry, Adam, you go for it.
Simon, I was going to say hello to Simon, that's all.
How you doing, Simon?
Hi, how are you?
Yeah, very well, thanks.
What are you up to this afternoon?
Um, my girlfriend's subject needs to go into IKEA, I'm afraid.
Oh, no!
That's hell!
That's rough, man.
Don't do that!
Which one are you going to?
Er, the new wheelchair will have just come back to the new one at Edmonton.
Oh, dear.
You just came back?
Yeah, exactly.
What time did you set out this morning?
6am?
Yeah, about 6.30, something like that.
Did you have any disgusting Swedish food?
Yeah, I did, actually.
Did you?
Franki förte?
Did you have any Franki förte?
Is that Swedish?
Hörte, Franki förte?
Hörte förte?
Erm, anyway, Simon, what are you voting for?
Run DMC or Sparks?
Sparks?
What are you doing?
I'm not really, but I've just recently heard a bit and I think I might be.
I might be coming around.
Hey, we didn't ask what prize he wants, is it Simon?
Are you still there?
Do you want Last Days or Horace?
I'm gonna go for Last Days.
Yeah.
Good choice.
Very good.
OK, Rosie's on the line.
Hello, Rosie.
Hi.
How are you doing?
Oh, alright.
Apart from cleaning the kitchen.
Cleaning the kitchen?
Yeah.
Really?
What are you using?
Oh, all sorts.
You got any Cillit Bang going there?
All sorts?
I knew Cillit Bang.
You shouldn't use all sorts.
You can't clean the floor with licorice.
All sorts.
You stupid woman.
That'll just make it messier.
You'll just get smears on the vinyl.
Why don't you use Cillit Bang?
Actually, I've got some of that.
Have you?
Someone was telling me on Charlie Brooker's show the other day, they had a sort of very angry... We've talked about this.
I talked about this when you were ill last year, about the fact that it's all rubbish.
It's rubbish, yeah.
You can just dip it in.
It's just a natural chemical reaction.
It'll dip it into... Dip a coin into anything, more or less, and it'll go all shiny.
I don't know if that's true.
Anyway.
Rosie, what are you going for?
Is it sparks or run DMC?
Run DMC.
Yes.
Because I've been doing a lot of illing this winter.
Have you?
Yep.
It's not fun, is it?
Nope.
No, it's so boring.
Thank God for the Commonwealth Games.
Nice vote.
So that's 2-1 to Cornish.
Well, Rosie, thank you very much for your call.
Good luck with the kitchen.
Hey, what would you like, horror or rock stars dying?
I'd go for the horror.
The horror, sensible woman.
Oh, horror, the horror.
Well done, thanks for calling.
I need another vote for the sparkles otherwise I'm out of the picture.
Renata, are you there?
Yes!
Renata, what's the matter with you, woman?
I've been waiting, man.
This is taking a long time.
Where are you from?
What's that crazy accent you've got, Renata?
Okay, I'm Italian-Greek from Africa and lived in America.
Whoa!
Well, settle down, woman.
You know, choose somewhere, for God's sake.
Italian-Greek, what the heck do you look like, then?
I look like everyone else.
You look like everybody else.
What do you do for a living, Renata?
I see them everywhere.
You see them everywhere.
Dead people.
We've got Hayley Jo Losmer on the line.
Renata, are you some kind of clairvoyant or fortune teller gypsy woman?
Is that your multiple personalities laughing?
What was that film?
Sylvior.
What was that weird film with that multiple personality woman?
Old TV movie.
Yeah, what's that called?
I can't remember.
Anyway, I think that's who we got calling.
Renata, what are you voting for?
Is it Sparks or Run DMC?
Run DMC.
Oh, Cornish Winds.
I'm surprised.
And what would you like?
Would you like Kurt Cobain popping his clogs or non-famous people popping their clogs?
Can you have both?
You're a greedy piggy.
Could do.
You could do.
Yeah, go on, Renata, man.
It's like getting the woman from The Exorcist on the phone.
Let's send Renata both.
I think Renata deserves both.
And very much hope you enjoyed those films.
Renata, can you remember any of the Rum DMC song?
not at all not at all okay well listen it was a pleasure to talk to you thanks very much to everyone who phoned in this weekend we really appreciate your continued support especially considering the uh kind of level of competitions that we had going today hey don't be ashamed i think it was fun i think we took punnery to a whole new strange level
yeah yeah maybe we should leave the puns alone for a little while anyway this is a great way to see out the show i mean i'm sad that i'm not playing sparks obviously but this is you know what i'm slightly sad that you're not playing sparks come on this is a great one yeah you beat illin yeah it was chicken you ate it and it was death i like that line that's good thanks to everybody who texted everybody who phoned we'll be back between one and three next week this has been adam and joe we'll see you next week love you bye yo j
Wait, what?
his money.
He didn't walk straight kind of side to side.
He asked this old lady, yo yo um is this cause chunky fried.
The lady said yeah and smiled and he smiled back.
He gave a quarter and it's on a small fry.
CHILL!
But your problem is U-B-L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A L-A
Ellen, yo, yo, you be Ellen.
Ellen, you be Ellen.
Ellen, Ellen, Ellen.
You be Ellen.
Ellen, Ellen, Ellen, Ellen.