That was the Muse with Starlight.
Hi, this is Adam Buxton.
Hey, this is Joe Cornish.
And you're listening to the Adam and Joe radio program here on XFM.
The Muse is very depressing these days, isn't it?
I know, it's always bad Muse.
Nothing but upsetting stories on the Muse.
Yeah, I know.
Why can't the Muse just, you know, have some hopeful stuff?
Some leave them laughing stories.
You know, just do a song about a cat being rescued from a tree or something?
Yeah, or an old lady that started a campaign to get yobbers off the streets and succeeded.
That's right.
Come on, the muse.
Does Alice... Is Alice... Alice... Hello?
Yes, he's still in Muse.
Is Alistair Stewart still in Muse?
Yeah, he's still in Muse.
He reads the Muse.
How long can we keep this bad joke going for?
I estimate one hour.
One hour, really?
Wow.
Well, let's not try that now.
OK.
We need a Guinness Book of Records representative to do it properly.
Hello, everybody.
Happy Saturday morning.
I hope you're all still in bed, but, you know, mentally awake, but physically still asleep.
That's the perfect state to listen to this show and actually maybe mentally asleep as well would be a good idea.
Let the excitement of the new music wash over you.
That's right, we've got music coming up from the Foo Fighters, the Rapture, Bjork, the Fratellis, the Editors and also some free plays and Snow Patrol.
That's just the first hour.
Plus, we've got some fantastic prizes, a pair of tickets to see Primal Scream at the Brixton Academy on Saturday, the 2nd of December.
That's, of course, my brother's birthday.
So that's a chance for you to celebrate that as well.
My brother's birthday, everyone likes to celebrate that.
And there's a pair of tickets to see Kasabian at Earl's Court on Tuesday the 19th of December, which is of course the day before my birthday, which is of course very exciting for everybody as well.
Wow, so it's a big Cornish birthday bonanza.
Yeah.
December also three copies of the complete black books box set series one two and three that's amazing all three series a black books good prize that is a great price pretty much channel 4's last great sitcom was yup before they stopped making funny programs apart from the IT crowd and modern toss obviously okay that's enough a self-interested hoo bar let's play some more music is the Foo Fighters
There you go, that's the Foo Fighters.
I just adore the Foo Fighters in a ludicrous way, like a man my age shouldn't.
I mean, you know, I'm not that old, but I'm a mature man, and yet I just sort of love Dave Grohl.
You're younger than Dave Grohl, aren't you?
Like a 14-year-old girl.
Isn't everybody younger than Dave Grohl?
No, I believe I'm almost exactly the same age as Dave Grohl.
He's the coolest old man in pop.
You reckon?
Yeah.
I think if you're sort of over the hill and want to look cool, then that kind of hair is what to go for.
He's brilliant, though, because he's always going to have that groovy, slightly skeletal physique as well.
Yeah.
Look a bit sunken.
Yeah.
But yet be a smiley man with a big tash.
Yeah.
That's the first single, of course, to be taken from the group's fifth album, In Your Honor, which was out on June the 13th, Adam.
Yeah.
A while ago.
yeah so that's exciting stuff so listen the telephone number is 0 8 7 1 triple 2 1 0 4 9 that's 0 8 71 222 1049 or as my dad would say it oh 8 7 1 2 2 2 1 0 4
Nine.
Does he really take him that long to say a number?
Yeah, and he breaks them up in an insane, illogical way that you could never remember.
Or you can text us on 83936, that's 83XFM.
You can of course email us at adamandjoe at xfm.co.uk even though the emails have actually been broken for the last month and a half.
They're fixed now.
Are they?
Yeah.
Really?
Now she tells us.
So there's going to be a massive back-losh.
A back-losh?
Yeah, what is a back-losh?
It's when you use Listerine.
Is it?
And it comes out of your nose.
A black splosh.
There's going to be a massive black splosh of emails building up in the back of the computer.
All banging up the works.
But they're going to be released.
And we've got some competitions coming up, right Adam?
For competition fans, you're in the right place because we've got not one but two different kinds of competition this week.
Joe Cornish, what's your competition?
My competition is movie lingo bingo, where we play you a very, very famous line from a very, very famous movie in a foreign language.
Imagine that.
So it's a chance for people with a grasp of a second language to get ahead of less educated people.
That's right.
If you have a grasp of German.
if you speak good german you could be in with a head start on this competition we like to reward people with above average intelligence and with bilingual capabilities what with britain just joining the european common market yeah it's time to embrace our foreign friends we're not down with the dummy no we ain't down with the dummy no we're not
Also, we have the return in the final hour of... I've even forgotten what it's called.
It's such a bad title.
Rock n' Reel, Rock n' Rubs.
Yeah, Rock n' Reel or Rock n' Rubs.
Oh, that's a great competition.
Yeah, that's coming up as well.
So stay tuned, competition fans!
And fans of great music, more of which we have right now.
This is a song that's really growing on me, and I thought initially when I heard it... You don't even know what it is.
I do, I...
You just said that and then lifted the piece of paper to your eyes to see what song would be growing on you.
No, because if it was... You're full of bougie.
Am I?
I'm not, I promise you, because I knew it was the rapture with Get Myself Into It.
What are you doing?
That's the rapture.
Is it?
Yeah.
Are you suggesting they've ripped off the Sesame Street song?
They've partly ripped off the Sesame Street song, yeah.
Well, that's a good ploy, isn't it?
Because everybody loves the Sesame Street song.
Can you tell me how to get, how to get... You know what?
Sorry, Sesame Street.
Shut up.
I read somewhere that they're introducing the first female, new female Sesame Street character in something like 10 or 20 years.
I didn't even know Sesame Street was still going on.
Of course it's still going on.
Jamie Foxx has just appeared on it.
And they're introducing the first new female character for years.
I didn't know that Sesame Street was exclusively male.
Neither did I. Is it some sort of- No, it's not exclusively male!
What are the- Who were the female Sesame Street inhabitants then?
Cookie Monster, male.
Oh, you mean- Oh, you mean- Up it was.
Yeah, puppet-wise.
I know there's an occasional lady that bounces in, but name me some female Sesame Street residents.
There's some of indeterminate gender.
Like what?
Which ones have got indeterminate gender?
I always thought of Big Bird as a big lady.
No, Big Bird's a boy.
But it's a big bird.
Big Bird is a boy.
Big Bird is definitely a man.
Big leggy bird!
Listeners out there, you know what gender Big Bird is.
I always thought of Big Bird as being like a big backpacker.
He's just a child.
A Canada or something.
A backpacker?
There was a girl I used to work with who was very much like Big Bird.
Who looked a bit like Big Bird, yeah.
Really tall and long legs.
With yellow feathers.
She had a big yellow beak.
Yeah.
You kind of talk like that.
You know what, to this day I still can't work out how they do blooming Big Bird.
What sort of a person is in there?
You know what confuses me when the head moves and both arms move?
Wait, you're right, I... I still can't figure out how they do it.
How do they do it?
Is it... it's big chunk... it's just big chunky legs.
What... what do you mean?
It's... what do you... how do they... how does a person fit inside the suit of Big Bird, right?
Because it's got two arms.
Yeah.
thereby occupying the job of the two human arms.
It's got two legs, which thereby take the role of the two human legs.
But yet, all four limbs are now in business, okay?
They're all taken.
All that's left to operate any kind of puppetry is a mouth and a head and a neck, right?
And its eyes move, its beak opens and closes, and its neck moves.
How can it do all those things with just that person's head?
Well, yeah, they're puppeteering the head separately, aren't they?
Remote control.
I would say it's a mixture of cables and... You check out that Big Bird man, it doesn't make sense.
Can you call it up on the interweb?
Yeah, probably, but we don't stoop to that kind of cheating.
I want to have a look at Big Bird and then maybe I can explain... All right, during the next song we'll check out how Big Bird operates, but I think it's some kind of a freak.
I think Sesame Street's been going long enough.
They've got some kind of a genetic engineering lab somewhere in Brooklyn.
Yeah.
And they're stretching necks.
Big freak.
Big freaks.
Big bird freaks.
They've got a collection of freaks, mutants, who are specially bred to fit inside those puppet costumes.
Yeah.
You can see them.
They frequent a calf in lower Brooklyn.
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea for a puppy, Charlie.
It's a bit like the island of Dr. Moreau, except to serve as Sesame Street.
The basement of Dr. Sesame Street.
With freaks and mutants.
I think that's true.
Jim Henson's behind it.
He's an evil man!
The late, great Jim Henson.
Can't say that about one of the most well-loved men.
Well, obviously, I'm joking.
In all of puppetry.
It's true.
And entertainment.
Anyway, enough of this waffling garbage.
Enough?
Well, you've still got two and a half hours left.
We've got a lot more of it.
Here's Bjork.
This is one of our choices.
Human behavior.
That was Bjork Bjork with Human Behaviour.
This is Adam and Joe XFM London's 104.9.
Big Bird update.
His birthday is March the 20th.
His favourite song is the alphabet song.
His best friend is the Snuffleupagus.
His favourite quote is Gee, Mr. Looper.
I mean, Mr. Cooper.
I mean, Hooper.
He likes to figure things out, being part of everything.
Roller skating, birdseed, milkshakes from Mr. Hooper's store.
He dislikes when he can't get help and when nobody believes that his best friend exists.
And the way he's puppeteered is completely obvious, isn't it?
Arm in each arm, leg in each leg.
Then some kind of tall mechanical hat on the head, which operates the neck.
And then people behind the camera work the head and beak.
It's perfectly straightforward and I'm a blooming idiot.
It's very much like the Teletubbies, the way they do them too.
That's our Adam and Joe Big Bird info burst for this week.
Back with the competition very shortly.
Oh, they're so hot right now.
Ouch!
You're burning me.
That's too hot.
Step away.
You're so hot.
It's hurting my face.
The Fratellis.
What is a Fratelli?
I know, and I'm not going to tell you, because you deserve to suffer in your uncoolness.
I know what a Fratelli is.
Oh, no.
It's a fried telly.
It's a delicious, crispy, battered, baked, television.
Eat them in Scotland.
I have a Fratelli, please.
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
Tasty, wastey.
Bye, bye.
That's a little scene from America.
Live from America, where they're all eating Fratellis.
Right.
That was a Chelsea Dagger.
What's a Chelsea Dagger?
A Chelsea dagger is a type of shoe.
I'm putting on my Chelsea daggers.
They wear them down at King's Road at the moment.
We're just talking complete rubbish.
Nobody knows what either of those things are, but it's the follow up to Henrietta, yeah?
From their debut album, Costello Music, which is coming out on September the 11th.
What kind of a day is that for an album to come out?
It's Elvis Costello's next album called Fratelli Music.
Very possibly.
It's competition time.
Competition time.
You could win a DVD or tickets to a show.
You just never know.
So sharpen up your brain and get ready to play!
It's time to play Movie Lingo Bingo.
We usually play a crap commentary corner this week, but you know what?
I just couldn't find a crap commentary.
Well, you know, you've done amazingly well.
How long have I been doing that for?
Two years?
Maybe longer.
I think I've exhausted every single commentary.
I was reduced to Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller on dodgeball the other day.
There's nothing worse than listening to a whole commentary and realizing it's useless.
An hour and a half later, I felt so depressed.
But you must have found out some funny stuff about dodgeball.
No, because they do it humorously.
It's a funny one and it's not funny.
No.
It's tedious.
Yeah, there's some good ones in the comedy world.
Well, you dig some out and pass them on to me, because this week I've had to resort to movie lingo bingo.
This is the competition where we play you an incredibly famous line from an incredibly famous film.
Don't distrust me, listeners.
I promise you that this is a line you will know.
It's very, very famous indeed, but the catch is it's being spoken in Charman.
Charmin?
Charmin!
Ja.
The language of Charmin.
The Germans?
They watch films?
Ja, they watch die films.
Die films?
Der films.
As you can tell we're not very good at German and we'd like to caricature the entire nation and race in a grotesque manner.
This film?
This movie?
I want to go to Germany!
Got any clues there, Adam?
It's sounding pretty effeminate.
Do you think?
Yeah.
Do you know what it is?
Well, it's not a filthy film, right?
It's not a filthy film, it's a family fav.
Yeah.
I want to go to Germany!
Oh big noises bangs I don't think you should give too many clues because that is it's pretty easy and you can almost get it just from the what's the word you know the rhythm of the speech
Only it goes a bit wrong at the end because their words are longer than the real ones.
If be at the gear, the gear for Templemere.
That's good.
So call 0871 222 1049 if you can tell what movie that's from and what line of dialogue they're saying.
It's very famous and you could get a chance to win tickets to see Primal Scream or Kasabian or a complete black books DVD set.
For God's sake, call now.
Here's the editors.
Oops, I mean editors with blood.
Editors there with blood.
That's a serious song about a serious substance.
A substance that none of us would be alive without.
Wow, that's deep, man.
That is deep, isn't it?
This is Adam and Joel on XFL London's 104.9.
It's competition time.
We've been playing movie lingo.
Bingo, we played you this clip in German from a very famous film.
This is the world.
The world is in my hands.
Well, something like that.
We've got Orlando on the line.
Hello, Orlando.
Hello, boys.
How are you doing?
Very well, thanks.
We're men, Orlando.
Oh, excuse me?
Yeah, we're big and powerful, muscles, head, all over.
Joe hates being called a boy.
Yeah, I'm just very old now, and it's just wrong.
But thanks for calling.
Pleasure.
And are you a German speaker, Orlando?
Do you speak fluent German?
I guess I do, actually.
Well, I... Tell the truth, Orlando.
Is that really true?
Which of your parents is German?
Your dad.
And what's German for your dad?
Wow, you really are German.
You just wanted him to say Mein Fater.
I did.
And now I'm happy.
So do you understand what was said in the clip we just played you Orlando?
Tell us which movie it was and tell us what they were saying if you can.
Of course it is.
Yes, so say it again.
Say that in German.
Excuses, excuses, Orlando.
Not sounding quite so German anymore.
Your mouth has written a cheque that your arse cannot cash.
No one's arse could possibly cash that.
No, no one's arses can cash checks anyway.
I don't think they let you hand them over between your bum cheeks.
Can you imagine the kind of incredible control, bum control you'd have to have?
To cash a check?
To cash a check.
Yeah, to write your account number on the back.
Oh yeah.
Hello Orlando, are you still with us?
I was just imagining...
This bum talk on a Saturday morning.
It's alright, everyone has bums and everyone's got to come to terms with its, uh, skills.
But well done Orlando, that's very good.
But won anything?
Yeah, you have won something.
Would you like a pair of tickets to see Primal Scream at the Brixton Academy on my brother's birthday?
Or would you like to see Kasabian at Oz Court on the day before my birthday?
And I won't bother telling you those dates because they're obviously very famous.
Primal Scream on the 2nd of December.
Well done.
Orlando, you're very clever.
You're half German.
You're going to go and see Primal Scream.
And we love you.
Brilliant.
Thanks very much, guys.
Thanks, Orlando.
Bye.
Take care.
Bye bye.
That was Snow Patrol with chasing cars.
That's not a thing that we recommend anyone should ever do.
No, do not chase cars, it's very, very dangerous.
And it's rude to the people in the cars.
Yeah, well it's just a bit pointless because they're a lot faster than anybody on foot.
There's almost no way that you could catch up with one unless you were chasing cars in a traffic jam.
Yeah.
And that's dangerous and it's not good for you because of all the fumes.
Yeah, Snow Patrol, you know, they're disgraceful.
They're a total disgrace.
And they're encouraging stupid, stupid behaviour.
You know what their next single is called?
What?
Eating Bricks.
Is it really?
Yeah.
Well that's very stupid.
Do you know what the single after that's called?
What?
Retrieving Frisbees from Electrical Power Stations.
That is so dangerous.
Do you know what their next one's called?
No.
Drying Damp Socks on a... one of them fires wha- have glowy sticks.
I done that.
Do you know what the next one's called?
Putting an angle poise lamp next to the bath for reading.
Do you know what the next one's called?
What?
Having a smoke.
Having a smoke is stupid.
Cos it gives you canker.
Yeah.
That's Snow Patrol, them with Chasing Cars, a stupid band, stupid idea.
It's Adam and Joe XFM runners 104.9.
Speaking of stupid ideas, here is my review for something I haven't seen yet.
This is something I started to read last week on the show.
Yeah, but you forgot half of your notes and you had to stop halfway.
Yeah.
But this is good so you're going to review something you actually haven't experienced just like everybody does.
A while ago I saw a very brief mention of the film Scanner Darkly in the paper but since then the only research I've done about the film is looking at the poster.
And so based on that I'm going to review it.
Brilliant.
Apparently, A Scanner Darkly is a sci-fi fantasy set in a dystopian future where the boundaries between fantasy and reality have become blurred by weird drugs given to people by the government, or something like that.
Although that may sound exciting, like say, The Matrix or Total Recall,
Director Richard Linklater has probably decided to make what little story there is as confusing and elliptical as possible, with very long sections of the film being taken up with incredibly dull, druggy conversations.
But I could well be wrong, as I haven't seen it.
Like Waking Life, Linklater's previous stream of unconsciousness cartoon, a scanner darkly has been entirely animated using a technique known as rotoscoping to bring the characters to life.
Although in the case of Keanu Reeves, the process has probably only been partially successful and he remains as ever barely animated.
But not having seen it, I couldn't say for certain.
All in all, I imagine I'd find the film quite intriguing and often quite beautiful, but ultimately rather frustrating and a little pretentious.
A worthwhile experiment that didn't quite happen.
Of course, it might be the best film I've ever seen in my life, but without actually watching it, it's almost impossible to say.
But for its ambition alone, I'm giving it a fence-sitting 5 out of 10.
See you at the movies!
Wow, that was very in-depth considering you haven't seen it.
Yeah.
You know, rotoscoping, they actually film it live action and then cartoon over the top, you know that.
I do now.
You do now, there you go.
Well, that was brilliant.
I'm certainly gonna be undecided about seeing that based on your review.
Yeah, good.
Yeah, I'm not sure what I'll do anymore.
It's confusing, isn't it?
Yeah, this is Adam and Joe, XFM, London's 104.9999.
XFM.
The Killers with When You Were Young.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM, London's 104.9.
Welcome to the second hour of our show.
We're here with you until 1 p.m.
when Mick Rock comes at you, so to speak, live from New York.
Hello, Adam.
Hi.
Mick Rock here live from New York.
What a band.
The Clash.
Right.
Thanks, Mick.
See you at one.
That's an exciting glimpse of things to come.
But now Adam, let's talk about young people Yeah, go on then.
Youth, right?
What are they thinking?
You know, I wonder that the whole time.
What are they doing?
What are their opinions?
Right.
They bring terror to the streets.
That's right.
Chaos to the multiplex.
They've gotten the shopping mall.
They've got no discernible morals or principles.
No, they're feral.
They're wild.
Right, young people.
It's about time some kind of TV station did some kind of survey to figure out what young people are thinking, right?
I agree.
Well, luckily, MTV's come along, the voice of youth, right?
And last Sunday, I don't know if anyone out there saw this, MTV broadcast a program called The MTV Generation, and they did a massive survey of young people to find out what really makes young people tick.
And so I recorded this documentary, and it was very odd and rubs.
and I've got some clips to illustrate it.
Okay, first of all, this is the music they used for it, and this is young people music, okay?
If you're making a documentary about young people, you've got to have music that is to the taste of young people, okay?
So you've got to kind of imagine you're an old man who works at MTV, you're trying to find a piece of music that sums up the absolute here and now.
For a long time, it was jungle music that did that job.
Yeah, but jungle music is now too slow and boring.
So let's hear the title music to the MTV documentary, The MTV Generation.
That's the title music.
So that's what young people are listening to, clearly.
That's what they dance to in the club.
What's that sort of music called?
Well, it's almost drill and bass, isn't it?
Drill and bass, does that exist?
Yeah, that's like square pusher and... Really?
Yeah, it's a bit like Aphex Twin, but even Aphex Twin, that's kind of old now, isn't it?
It is.
So they've had to speed it up and put sort of drain noises in, because that's what the young people like.
So already the documentary is doing very well.
And here's a little glimpse at the first link, okay?
So what sort of a voiceover do you think they've got for this documentary, Adam?
I would say it's sort of more laid-back June Sarpong, maybe regional.
So if it's from London, it's someone who can barely speak.
Yeah, you're close.
But it's probably from Manchester or something like that.
Yeah, no, that's not so close.
Have a listen to what it is.
This is the first chunk of voiceover from the MTV generation documentary.
Okay.
So what is it like to be part of the so-called MTV generation?
What do you think?
What do you do?
And what influences you?
Well, there are 7 million 16 to 24 year olds living in the UK and this summer we spoke to a diverse mix and carried out a national survey.
This is MTV's snapshot of Britain's youth.
yeah that's very perky though very nicely spoken young lady it is but she's saying there that there are seven million 16 to 24 year olds so what gets me about these documentaries about teens and they often appear in article form in sunday magazines and newspapers it's a cheap way for editors to fill some paper you know fill some pages by saying let's do a survey of teens but it's very spurious because
First of all, when you're between 16 and 24 years old, your tastes are changing massively day upon day, right?
Like you might wake up in the morning and be a completely different person from the one you were the day before.
So it's a very difficult group of people to pin down.
Plus, there are seven million of them.
So basically do you not think it's true to say that amongst those seven million people you would find a representative of pretty much every single viewpoint and attitude there is?
You're going to find people who have extreme opinions in one direction, people who have extreme opinions in the other direction, and any kind of attempt to draw some kind of average state of play amongst those people is pretty spurious wouldn't you say?
Especially in the context of a 20 minute MTV program.
Yeah, I guess the most accurate thing you could point to is, like, fashion tastes and trends and things like that.
Even that!
I think you'd just find such a diverse range that it would be impossible to pull out any meaningful trends.
Yeah, but you can say, like, just from looking at people hanging around Oxford Street or whatever, most youths are gravitating towards the kind of gothic look if they are, um... I don't know, man.
My, my, my, um...
kind of theory here is that even that is rubbish.
I think this is a lazy way for journalists to make an article.
You just pick five random teenagers, usually related to people who work at the magazine or TV station.
You just write their opinions and then you've got an article about what teens think.
But you could just pick any old teen.
My theory is illustrated with this next clip, which is a quick montage of exactly what young people are thinking and what they are doing.
Peat docket is a drugged up waste of space.
24 hour drinking is so sick.
David Cameron is trying to be Tony Blair.
First coming ban on smoking is rubbish.
Jordan is plastic.
There you go.
I didn't realise they thought that.
Opinions from teens.
Pete Doherty is a drugged up waste of space.
Jordan is plastic.
24 hour drinking is sick.
They're just random opinions, aren't they?
Yeah, no, that is that's pretty weird.
So there you go.
A series of random opinions from teens that are unified only by the fact that they all happen to be between 16 and 24 years old.
That can't be right, though, because who loves Pete Doherty?
Lots of people love Doherty, even though he is a drugged up nutbag.
And who is out there loving him if it's not for the teens?
Yeah.
And who's the MTV generation anyway?
I thought we were the MTV generation.
Like we were teenagers when it started.
Yeah, that is true.
They can't just have all the generations.
No, 16 to 24 year olds?
It's mad.
It was a mad documentary.
Just an entirely random selection of opinions telling us nothing.
And it's rubs.
But here's a record every single 16 to 24 year old is bound to love.
Every single one of the seven million of them.
It's Justice vs Simeon with We Are Your Friends.
That was the Kooks with She Moves in Her Own Way.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM London's 104.9.
Don't forget the X list is coming up at the top of the hour.
You can request any sort of XFM classic record and we'll play it for you here on the Adam and Joe radio show.
Everything all right there, Adam?
Yes, fine.
Just looking at the playlist.
Right.
and uh excited to see that someone's popped the song brilliant mind by furniture down here do you know that song yes you must be out of your brilliant mind isn't that quite old it's old and bad why is it in there i don't know we're gonna have to pop it out wow and replace it with something else man people might be excited about it now that i sung it so well no there's no way that the actual song could ever do justice to your end that's true mine was much better yeah
And yeah, of course, the kooks there.
The kooks are extremely hot right now.
The kooks are everywhere.
Everywhere I go, I see the kooks anyway.
Men with big, big floppy hair.
Yeah, the big hair is in, isn't it?
I'm not having... When will big hair ever go out?
Big hair's been in since we were teenagers.
No.
Yeah, it has.
The Jesus and Mary chain.
Everyone had giant sort of goth hair.
They looked absolutely nuts though.
Yeah, it's all got a bit more sort of Mark Boleyn now, hasn't it?
A bit more attractive looking with the big hair.
Big rock hair.
I've got big hair.
Have you?
Yeah.
Just say yes.
Yes.
Because, you know, the listeners can't see, so they can imagine me with big hair.
And I'm really handsome.
I've got a big beard.
Have you?
Yeah.
I look like, you know, they're releasing Angel Heart on DVD.
Yes.
A special edition.
And I look exactly like Robert De Niro on the cover of Angel Heart.
They're remaking it as well.
Did you know that?
No.
Yeah, they're remaking Angel Heart.
They'll stop at nothing.
What's the point of remaking Angel Heart?
Well, because Mickey Rourke's in it and they want to get him out of it, put someone else in there.
He was brilliant in that though.
And they want to get DeNiro out as well because he's ruined everything.
Do you remember when Mickey Rort was just... He was the coolest man in the world.
He was the coolest man in the world!
And now he's starring in Stormbreaker.
It's so sad.
It's sad.
You know what I was thinking the other day?
Who has not lost it?
Right.
Right, because obviously, listeners, we know that Mel Gibbons has suffered, has sort of fallen on his sword.
Right, he used to be an untouchable god from the 80s, and now he's sort of blown it.
He was always a ludicrous joker.
Yeah, but he never actually completely blewed it, what he did last week.
Yeah.
And so who's left?
You reckon there's no coming back for Gibbons?
Well, he's kind of blotted his copybook in an indelible manner.
So who's still their prince, right?
He hasn't done anything naughty.
Mick Jagger.
He hasn't done anything naughty.
He hasn't done anything good though, either.
I mean, Mick Jagger has been a joke for a very long time.
Like, I'm trying to think of people who were...
I mean, Jagger was extremely cool once, I suppose, in the 60s, but not much since then.
Certainly not since the 70s.
Yeah, but he hasn't done anything to make him a sort of pariah.
Oh, I see.
You're talking about actual positive bad behavior.
Yeah.
You know, just ruining their career.
A bit like Mickey Rourke did.
So Mickey Rourke, the main way he ruined his career, what was it for you that really... Well, the whole rearrangement of his face with surgery.
Yeah, I mean, the other thing, of course, was the beating up of his girlfriend-stroke-wife or whatever.
Right.
Did that really happen?
Yeah, it did.
He was a dirty wife-beater.
Yeah, is that true?
God, how terrible.
So it's not very good.
You know, he had two strikes against him there, and he was just an all-round rotten egg.
You know, he admits as much himself now, Rourke.
You know, he used to just behave abominably for the sake of it.
until no one would work with him.
Come on, Stars, pull your acts together.
You know what?
I'm going to be like that.
Are you?
Shut up.
I'm going to smack you.
And then you're going to come back with Beethoven 1 and 2 and 3.
Yeah, some cuddly film about a fluffy dog for families.
Is Adam and Joe on XFM?
Music now.
And, you know, I think, I suspect that this track, Furniture, Brilliant Mind, was chosen for us by our boss here at XFM.
I just figured that out.
So maybe it's not a good idea to skip it.
And anyway, people might like it.
It was a hit.
Somebody liked it.
See what you think, listeners.
That's the coral within the morning.
It is the morning.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM, London's 104.9.
Now, if you're a regular listener, you might know that I've recently been to America.
Joe Cornish has been to America?
America.
I've seen America.
It's extraordinary.
And while I was there, you know, I'm a bit of a theme park fiend.
I like a rolly-rolly-rolling coaster.
What's Cameron Diaz like?
She's boring.
Tiny, tiny, tiny brain.
Tiny brain.
And because I like rolling coasters so much, I decided I'd try and get in a trip to a theme park.
But the only theme park in central Los Angeles is Universal Studios, right?
The Studios Tour.
And they've got kind of a, it's not really a theme park, it's more of a kind of a studio tour thing.
It doesn't really have any roller coasters is what I'm saying.
The closest thing it's got to a roller coaster is the Mummy Ride.
The Mummy Ride is a brand new ride.
It's based on the movie, The Mummy, starring Brendan Fraser.
That's a good movie, right?
Yeah.
Frog, it's a bad movie.
But they've made a ride out of it.
And it's kind of a bad ride.
So me and my friend, we had VIP passes, right?
We could jump to the front of the lines.
So we went on the Mummy three times in rapid succession.
And at the start, it was very exciting.
Because it's floating on magnets, so it takes off at incredible speed.
So wait, you're actually suspended in the air, you're not actually hooked to a track?
Yeah, you're on a track, but it's magnetically launched.
Oh, I see.
Somehow, I don't know how it works, but all I'm saying is it moves with amazing thrust and acceleration.
Yeah.
And then we were screaming like a couple of little girls, whooping and hollering, woo hoo!
But then it started getting a bit boring and we felt like a couple of idiots, basically.
You know, the screaming died out and we just looked a bit bored and embarrassed.
So what's the central gimmick of the Mummy ride?
It's in the dark, it's just a rolling coaster in the dark and it goes very fast around corners, usual sort of roller coaster stuff, never goes upside down.
But it got me to thinking,
What would be an even better roller coaster ride?
You know, how could they push the science of theme parks into a new area?
Because it seems to me they're at a kind of breaking point with roller coasters.
An impasse.
An impasse, yeah.
They've pushed the technology as far as it can go.
One of the best rides there is the Back to the Future ride.
where you sit in a sort of hydraulically operated DeLorean and you're suspended by a massive IMAX screen and you know they do a kind of they link the hydraulics of the car with the motion control of the picture and you feel like you're flying through space in a DeLorean.
It's a sim ride isn't it?
Yeah it's a sim ride and that was almost more exciting than the actual physical excitement of the mummy ride.
Yeah.
So I got to thinking
What if they combine the two, OK?
So here's my idea for the ultimate theme park ride.
Right.
It's based on the idea that the most frightening thing that could ever happen at a theme park is for a roller coaster to genuinely go wrong.
Yes.
Like the beginning of Final Destination 3, where they're in a roller coaster and the screws start coming out and the track breaks and they end up getting decapitated.
Yeah.
And, you know, obviously terrible things sometimes do happen at theme parks, but we're purely in the realm of fantasy here.
Yeah.
And it happens pretty seldom anyway.
Very, very, very, very, very, very rarely.
Those big American ones.
Yeah.
So what about this?
It's a ride.
I'm not sure what it's called yet.
You might be able to help me with this, but you get on what looks like a normal roller coaster.
Yeah.
And you sit in a car and it's going sort of along a track into a tunnel, a dark, mysterious tunnel.
So you go along the track.
When you get into the tunnel, what you don't know is that it stops becoming an actual physical roller coaster and becomes a 3D sim ride.
But that simulates you exiting the tunnel and arriving on the most fantastically enormous, like ridiculously loopy, loopy roller coaster that has ever been designed.
And so you think you're on a real one, but actually you're just wearing 3D glasses and you're on a simulator.
That's the noise.
You go up the track.
And basically it starts breaking.
Yeah.
And you see the track broken ahead of you.
You're launched off into space.
You do sort of flips in the air.
You just happen to land on the other bit of track again.
You know, basically anything could happen.
You could go zooming into other rides in the theme park.
Yeah.
Smash into some kind of a kid's teacup ride and maybe...
Stuff like that.
But no one would be hurt, because this would be beautifully computer simulated.
What I'm saying is the most amazing disasters could happen, but yet you'd just survive, and you'd land amazingly back on a track again, and you'd be perfectly safe.
Wouldn't that be a brilliant ride?
That would be good, but the- Have I explained it clearly?
No, that's very clear.
Yeah.
That would be an amazing ride.
I'd call it the disaster coaster.
Ah, you know the problem with the disaster coaster?
Yeah.
Is if there was a disaster on the disaster coaster.
Well man, they've got the, uh, at Universal they've got a Jurassic Park ride which is based on the dinosaurs attacking the ride and that's based on the premise of the ride.
You've been on that, right?
Oh yeah.
Adam Buxton?
Yeah.
And that's based on the premise of a ride going wrong.
That's true.
Because it's been attacked by a dinosaur and that makes it a dinosaurzer.
I know but the chances of a dinosaur attack are so slim.
Really?
I think so.
you know and the good thing about your ride is that it is pretty safe because you're only going up that initial piece of track right but the rest is simulated yeah yeah yeah what's your idea have you got ideas for pushing the pushing the envelope
my ideas are stupid I thought your ideas were gonna be stupid that's a good idea that you just yeah but it's still a bit stupid because it would be too frightening it would be good okay how about this the most haunted ghost train right oh that's a good idea linked in with living TV exactly based on the popular TV show you just ride along a very boring
dark tunnel for what seems like ages and nothing happens but once in a while Yvette Fielding pops out and screams that's good the real Yvette Fielding yeah it's mainly because she's got free time a lot of free time exactly enough free time to actually be an exhibit in a theme park she wouldn't be able to do it all year round most of the year though but yeah she'd take time off to film the birthday and Christmas and then the rest of the time she'd be doing the ride it's mainly a women's it's a women's ride
is it yeah you wouldn't be allowed why is that because women are more gullible gullible because women watch that show right mainly right i watch it every now and then but in a way i'm a woman that's a good idea man the most haunted ride that would be chesington or thought park maybe how about this yeah the baby shambles
Nice.
It goes up and down completely unpredictably and then fairly often just comes completely off the rails.
And it's very disappointing.
Brilliant.
You're not talking about a roller coaster ride are you?
No, I'm talking about the band.
How about this?
The Tony Blair.
It just goes wherever George Bush wants it to go.
Nice.
Is that it?
Yeah.
It follows George Bush.
Yeah, this is wasted little DJs by the way.
That was Wasted Little DJs with The View.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM London's 104.9.
Adam, free play time.
Yeah, I'm gonna do this one as Mick Rock.
Okay.
Yeah, music.
My favourite kind of music is great music and this next piece of music certainly fits in to that category.
It's a music piece by a guy called Robin.
And his surname is Hitchcock, and he's called Robin Hitchcock.
And he's a great guy, a great mate, and a great musician.
And this piece of music is called Full Moon in My Soul from Robin's great album Spooked, which I think is a great title for an album.
Check it out.
And you've got the face on!
Why have you got that face on?
I told you not to have that face on!
Take that face off!
Arctic Monkeys with Mardi Bum.
What face do you think he had on?
Just the one he always has.
The Michael Jackson face?
Yeah.
Why have you got that face on?
Put the Keith Harris face on.
Is it like Worzel Gummidge?
Yeah.
It's like Aunt Sally.
He's got detachable heads.
It's got different heads, Crowman.
I've got me angry head on now.
That was worth the damage, wasn't it?
Yeah, uh, possibly.
That was the Arctic Monkeys with Marty Bum, this is Adam and Joe on XFM Nonners 104.9.
Nein!
That has gone German again, you're, you're stabbed.
Now, more demented TV news.
I don't know if anyone's been watching ITV on a Saturday afternoon stroke evening.
I'm pretty sure nobody has.
No.
In fact, that's proven now, isn't it?
Because it's about to go down the tube and bust or something frightening.
But they've got a new show and it's called Prehistoric Park.
Have you seen that, Adam?
Prehistoric Park.
Anything to do with Jurassic Park?
Well, funny you should say that, yes.
The idea is, what if, and it's a brilliant idea, what if Jurassic Park was an actual kind of Rolf Harris style petting zoo?
In fact, it's more complicated than that.
The premise of Prehistoric Park is that there is a time portal.
that's opened up in some sort of jungle somewhere and some cuddly sort of regional vets and Animal magic men have set up a kind of dinosaur theme park not theme park.
Sorry petting zoo around the time portal.
Are you following me?
Yeah, so Nigel this is this is key to say is this like a narrative thing or it's a melange and
of different documentary and animal formats.
So it's a bit like Walking with Dinosaurs type thing.
Crossed with Jurassic Park, crossed with Rolf's Animal Hospital.
Yeah.
But with no real animals, all CGI dinosaurs, right?
Sort of crossed with Ricky Gervais' flanimals.
So imagine this space portal and he goes through this portal to ancient China and places where dinosaurs exist, he catches the dinosaurs, pulls them back through the portal and cares for them in the prehistoric park, alright?
So as a viewer just sitting there watching, it appears to be kind of a real documentary about a real place that has real dinosaurs.
Right.
OK, so clip number one is all about a woolly mammoth they've captured.
So have a listen to this.
Back at the park, Martha the mammoth is still feeling the heat.
So it's time for the staff to carry out Nigel's cunning plan to cool her down.
So there you go, they've got a woolly mammoth, they've captured her, she's feeling the heat, and they've got to carry out Nigel's cunning plan to cool her down.
And so wait, is this like a beautifully realised walking with dinosaurs style... No, it's shoddily, it's sort of shoddily.
It's a pretty fake-looking mammoth, and one of the funniest things is imagining what the shoot was like with all these people having to act around an empty space, right?
Because it's all very well for Bob Hoskins to do it, or a professionally trained actor like him, but not for, you know, people who are more used to being on CITV-type shows.
But, you know, the other thing is they've got a woolly mammoth.
I mean, woolly mammoths are wild, untamed, prehistoric creatures, right?
I'm pretty sure they are.
And if you tried to, say, cut their hair, what kind of a response would you get?
Eating.
You'd probably be gorged by one of their enormous tusks, ripped to pieces, disemboweled, have your head over far to the left, your legs over to the right, and all your guts splattered all over the camera crew, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's not what happens.
This is what happens.
Play clip number two.
Martha's an ice age creature, so everything about her has evolved to make her able to cope with really cold temperatures.
I think she might just be overheating.
So Nigel had the idea to give her a haircut, which I think's a really good idea.
I think it's going to make her feel much, much better.
You're okay, sweetie.
You're getting real much happier.
You're a lucky mammoth, Martha.
It's not every girl that gets a summer makeover.
Gets a summer makeover?
That's not what would happen, is it?
Well, it might be.
If there had been Australians in Jurassic times, it might have been very different.
The dinosaurs might never have died out.
Well, they would all have had little bows in their hair, wouldn't they?
And lovely summer makeovers.
I just don't like wild, untamed prehistoric animals being reduced to the level of some kind of Barbie makeover doll.
That's not telling kids the truth, is it?
No.
Now, meanwhile, they've also got a kind of cuddly northern zookeeper who's got some little Tyrannosaurus rexes in a kind of weird field and he's built a hide to observe them.
And this actor who's given the thankless task of playing that prehistoric park keeper has to kind of act as if these animals are real and as if he's got real kind of moment-to-moment concerns with their upkeep.
Yeah, so listen to this bit of acting here.
Back at the park, head keeper Bob is checking to see if the owners of Mimas are enjoying their new home.
I built this hide so I could keep a careful eye on them, but there's no need.
They're happy here.
Look at them.
They're dabbling about like ducks.
We've given them a real home from home.
Oh, they'll love it.
Well, except for that one.
I'm very worried about it.
It's gone completely bonkers.
Gone bonkers.
It's gone completely bonkers.
I don't know.
It just seemed like the worst program I'd ever seen.
But it's David G. Hall doing the voice.
Is it?
I think so.
I didn't recognize that.
Let me just check at the beginning there.
It's Uncle David Jason who can't do anything wrong.
Back at the park, Head Keeper Bob is checking for you.
I think you're right, I think it is.
I think it is, like you can hear his danger mouse voice coming through there.
Man, I don't know.
You know what worries me?
Is if a child were to watch it, surely they'd just assume that dinosaurs existed?
Well, children are so confused about... Are they?
Dinosaurs now anyway, you know.
After walking with dinosaurs, which is completely a joke amongst the dinosaur community... Is it?
Yeah, it's widely known to be a big tissue of myth and conjecture.
Kids must just be completely confused.
The fact is that the dinosaurs aren't coming back to tell anyone that they're wrong, though, are they?
No, the dinosaurs aren't writing into the TV Times.
Yeah, until then.
TV Times doesn't exist anymore.
Probably why.
It's extinct, like the dinosaurs.
Nice.
Jurassic Times.
Anyway, if you want an unintentional laugh, tune into Prehistoric Park on ITV's on Saturday nights.
It's insane.
The actors in it are insane.
It just looks like a bunch of people having a terrible midlife crisis, hallucinating bizarre animals, and I highly recommend it.
This is XFM, London's 104.9.
You're listening to Adam and Joe.
XFM.
That was The Smiths with Heaven Knows I'm Miserable, now requested by Terry in Surbiton.
Thank you, Terry, for that choice.
Did you enjoy that song, Adam Buxton?
I always loved that song.
I remember I've got a very fond memory or, well, just a clear memory of playing it for my dad.
I don't know if you ever did this, but I always knew that my dad didn't like much pop music at all.
And every now and again, if he was a little bit tooty, I would sometimes play something for him thinking, this is so good that my dad's definitely
You know, he's gotta like it, you know what I mean?
I didn't do it very often because he always put most of the music I listened to down.
What did he make of it?
He just sort of looked at me and he could see that.
I mean, I was looking at him like, come on, Dad, that was brilliant.
And he looked at me and he just said, and you really like that, do you?
What do you like about it?
And he said, he's just so exhausted.
Just like, what, what do you think is good about it?
I said, what do you think is bad about it?
I was like, I said, I was sure you were going to like it because it's like, he's got a good voice.
And my dad went, and I said, it's a really good tune.
So there's no tune at all.
He's just singing on one note, right the way through.
He did an impression like that.
That's withering stuff.
He really did.
He was so enraged by Moz.
Wow.
That he totally destroyed my little teenage dream.
Well, here's a record your dad is bound to love because I know he's a big fan of the TV series it's taken from.
It's Phantom Planet with the theme to the OC, California.
California!
It's the theme to the OC!
Do people consider the OC cool anymore at all?
I don't know.
Could you do some kind of MTV-style survey?
Yeah, I just did it.
To find out what teenagers are thinking?
Yeah, 50% like it, 50% don't.
So pretty much split down the middle.
Split down the middle there.
Yeah.
That's a surprise.
Okay, it's competition time once again now on the show.
And this time, it's time for... Rock and reel or rock and rubs Are the bands real or are they just rubbish?
Rock and reel or rock and rubs Are they real or are they rubs?
There you go.
There's the rock and reel or rock and rubs jingle.
It's an absolute peach.
I believe it's at number one in the download chart in my brain.
And we have someone on the line here who's going to be playing it right now.
Kate, are you there?
Yes, I am.
Hello.
Hey, Kate, what are you up to?
I'm just standing in the ladies' toilets waiting to do this competition.
I thought you were going to say waiting to do something else there for a moment, seeing as you're in the ladies' toilet.
We all know what women do in toilets.
Chatter.
Like hens.
Exactly.
About neighbours.
And men.
That's all women are interested in.
Are you talking about me in there, Kate?
I am actually, it's my reflection.
That Adam Buxton, he's so gorgeous but he's so ugly as well, his clothes are brilliant, they're horrible.
I think he's so short, he's so tall, he's fat, he's thin, he's in, he's out, he's hot, he's what, he's not, he's cool, he's hot, what, hello.
Is that how the conversation went?
Something like that, yeah.
That is a glimpse into the mind of the editor of Heat magazine.
That's what's going on in there.
Now Kate, I don't know if you've heard this competition before, but basically I'm going to read out ten band names, as if I was reading the shipping forecast in a kind of calm voice.
And after each band name, you have to say one of two words.
Real, if you think it's a real band, or rubs, if you think it's one that I've made up.
Is that clear?
Yeah.
Okay, here we go.
Number one.
Niagara gets up again.
Number two, worried about Satan.
Rub.
Number three, you disgust me.
Real.
Number four, fragrant vagrants.
Real.
Number five, the underground velvets.
Real.
Number six, hopes fade.
Real.
Number seven,
And they will riot From Number 8 Freddy Flintoff's right arm over the wicket From Number 9 Don't ask for credit Real Number 10 Hemostatic picnic races Real
okay Kate I'm sorry to say you didn't do that well actually you only got four out of ten correct first one Niagara gets up again see it's like Niagara Falls Joe right I see I see she thought it was rubs of course it is it rubs I made that one up so she got that one right one point yeah number two worried about Satan that's that's a real band you thought there were rubs number three you disgust me you thought that was real it's rubs
number four fragrant vagrants uh you thought it was a real band you're insane that's rubbish number five you correctly identified the underground velvets not the velvet underground you see as a real band uh number six hopes fade i made that one up uh and you got that wrong i'm afraid number seven and they will riot you thought that they were rubbish they're a real band number eight um freddie flintoff's right arm over the wicket
that is a real band number nine don't ask for credit that's rubs you thought it was real number 10 homeostatic picnic races they are real so congratulations it's mind-boggling isn't it kate what kind of nonsense passes for a band name have you ever been in a band kate i haven't no nothing really i'm afraid not has he never thought of any names for a band
Um, my friends had a band when we were about 13 and I think my suggestion was Dead Flowers or something.
Dead Flowers is good.
I'm sure that exists already, Dead Flowers.
Probably.
yeah yeah well Kate well well done for playing you know what we're not gonna give you a prize because why should we reward failure and what kind of a message would that be sending out to the kids if you got given prizes for failing exactly this isn't Richard and Judy you know come on we're not gonna treat you like a sap we don't randomly break the rules the way they do on you so what we're gonna do actually is we're gonna send a couple of feral street children in hoodies round who are gonna spray an obscene word on the front of your house how's that
That's good, it can go with the other words that have already been said.
Yeah, yeah, the cherry on the cake.
Of course we're not gonna do that.
We are like Richard and Judy and we are gonna break the rules for you.
So would you like a pair of tickets to see Cassabian at Earl's Court on Tuesday the 19th of December or would you like three copies of the complete black book box set?
She can't have all three copies.
Why not?
Well because what are we gonna give away to the other people?
Kate, what would you like?
Can I have the tickets to the
yeah yeah why not well done Kate thanks very much for calling that's been rock and real and rock and Rob so we're gonna play that again a bit later it possibly we're not sure but we might we're gonna have to consult various radio bodies to find out whether we can ever play that again now it's music time this is Johnny Cash with heart
That was Nirvana, with all apologies.
You're listening to Adam and Joe, it's the ex-list here on XFM.
Still time to get your requests in on 83XFM if you're texting, or you can call 08712221049.
We are gonna do the competition now, right now.
Is that Douglas?
Hi.
Hello caller.
Hello, how are you?
Very well, how are you today?
Very well indeed, thank you.
What area of London are you calling from, confident caller?
I'm in Hampstead.
Really?
You're posh.
Yeah.
Only posh people live in Hampstead.
I know.
Wow.
It's true, we're all very posh.
That's impressive.
Does anyone, do you ever get any trouble around there in Hampstead?
Er, no.
Do you get children with tiny bikes?
Lots of children with tiny bikes and... What's wrong with children having tiny bikes?
I don't mean like toddlers with little... You mean like strapping teenagers with tiny children's bikes?
Yeah, that's right.
I mean hoodies basically with tiny bikes.
Oh right, I see what you mean.
Tiny bikes that are actually too small for the gangling youth.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, there's lots of them.
Okay, good.
Glad to see that.
Glad we settled that.
I thought we were confused.
He's immune.
Okay Douglas, I don't know if you've heard this competition before but it's very easy.
I'm just going to read out ten band names and after each one you have to tell me whether you think the band is real or rubs.
Okay.
Okay, so you just say real or rubs.
Now five of them are real.
I got them from the NME gig listings and five of them I made up using my brain.
Are you ready?
I am ready, yeah.
Here we go.
Number one.
Basteroid.
I think that's quite good, so I think it's real.
Number two.
One minute holiday.
One minute holiday, eh, Robson.
Number three.
Angry monk.
Ahem, real.
Number four.
Blue thatcher.
Real.
Number five.
My dear stalker.
Real.
Number six.
Send more paramedics.
Robson.
Number seven.
Jihadaway.
Number 8.
The Delighted Pessaries.
Real.
Number 9.
President Evil.
Yeah, real.
Number 10.
Jimmy Big... What?
Number 10.
Jimmy Big Nuts.
Jimmy Big Nuts?
Yeah, Big Nuts with her Z at the end.
Well Doug, you scored a quite impressive six out of ten there.
Six?
That's kind of, is that a pass?
Here's the ones you got wrong.
Okay.
My dear stalker, you thought that was real, that's rubs.
That's rubs, that's one from your brain.
That's from my brain.
Number six, send more paramedics, you thought that was rubs, that's a real band.
Ten more paramedics.
Jihadaway, you correctly identified as being rubbish.
Number eight, The Delighted Pessaries.
No one has yet come up with that name.
That's rubs.
That's rubs?
Did I say real for them?
You thought that was real.
And Jimmy Bignuts, I think we both know that that's rubs.
That was my favourite one.
Jimmy Big Nuts is the best.
That's the best band they've ever made.
With a Z at the end though, okay.
So that means he doesn't actually have big nuts.
No, he's got big nuts.
Big nuts.
It's not rude.
But you did sufficiently well for us to award you a prize.
Did he beat Kate?
He beat Kate badly with a big stick.
You spank Kate.
Do you want a copy of The Complete Black Books on DVD series 1, 2 and 3?
That would be fantastic.
Yeah, it's a great show.
I would like a brilliant show.
On its way to you.
Thanks very much, indeed, Doug, for your call.
Yeah, and Doug, maybe if you form a band one day, you might come up with an equally silly name.
I'm going to steal Jimmy Big Nutz.
Yeah, do it.
Thanks for calling.
Thanks for listening.
Cheers, guys.
Bye.
OK, that was Doug on the phone there.
And before he came on air, he requested this one from ZZ Top.
What a fantastic set of adverts, don't you think, Adam?
Something to think about for everybody.
Yeah, something to spend money on for everybody.
Exactly.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM London's 104.9.
Chris is on the line.
Hello, Chris.
Hello.
How are you doing?
Yeah, I'm good.
How are you feeling medically?
Medically?
Symptoms?
I just want to know, is your body functioning completely, completely on top of its game?
No, my neck's locked on Thursday.
I had to go to the chiropractor.
Right, your neck locked?
Locked up.
Right, that sounds terrible.
Has it been unlocked now?
It's unlocked now, yeah.
Right, so you are feeling absolutely fine.
I am now, yeah.
Tip top condition?
Yeah.
Yeah, waterworks working okay?
Yeah.
Regular?
Well, you know.
Solids?
Passing solids?
Yeah.
Yeah, how's the complexion?
Good.
Any spots at all?
No.
Blackheads, have you checked the ears?
Have you checked in your ears, Chris, recently?
No.
No, you haven't?
Well, I'd have a look in there some before you go around boasting about the fact that you're some sort of a man-god.
Yeah?
I will.
I'll get straight in there with the cotton buds tonight.
And what would you like to request on the X-list?
What classic XFM-type track do you want to hear?
uh joy division i think uh love will tear us apart are you sure you don't want the uh paul young version of that i forgot he did one yeah and non-parlay that's the only album no parlay please non-parlay that's the only version i know but if you want to hear the original joy division then then it's your funeral what is what does he do with it
Paul Young.
He sings it and does it makes it a bit more jolly.
He cheers it up a bit.
Okay well here's the original Miserable version for you then.
Thanks for calling Chris.
Thanks a lot Chris.
That was Joy Division with Love Will Tear Us Apart.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM, London's 104.9.
It's time for some Beastie Boys.
Have you seen, I wonder, their movie, Adam, called, uh, Awesome Eye F-ing Shot That?
No, I haven't.
I've been put off by some slightly lukewarm reviews.
The reviews say that it's a big mess.
Yeah.
Because it sounded like a brilliant idea, give like hundreds of people at your concert little TV cameras and then edit together all the footage for a sort of multi angle, multi experience view of your concert.
But apparently it's a bit of a mess, you know, because I was if it had been a real set of raves.
Hmm.
I would have gone along because, you know, the beasties, I like them and everything, but I wouldn't hurt myself for any of them.
And certainly sitting through a whole feature film of a concert of theirs, especially if it's a confusing mess, I would put that in the hurting myself category.
Yeah, well, I think we should reserve judgment having not seen it.
I'm going to buy it and check it out.
And then if I don't like it, I'll chuck it out.
Can you chuck it into my house?
I'll chuck it into your bin.
Yeah, I'll leave it in your bin.
But this is the white label remix.
This is a really good remix of Body Moving.
This is the Beasties.
Well, that's it for this week.
Thanks to everybody who's texted and telephoned and requested things and won things.
It's been an extraordinary program full of highs and lows.
Hasn't it, Adam?
It's something I'm going to carry with me for a long time.
Yeah, like a horrible scar.
A disfiguring scar.
Like some wind.
But we hope you've enjoyed it.
And we'll be back at exactly the same time next week, 10 in the morning till one in the afternoon.
And don't forget to stay tuned for me, Mick Rock, live from New York.
I always remember the time that I met Mark Bolen.
And I said to him, Mark.
And he said, yeah.
And I said, nothing.
Mark Bolen, a legend and a gentleman.
Cheerio!