This is XFM.
An old shack in Leicester Square, London.
Not the discount theatre ticket shack, a different one.
Suddenly, two lonely figures emerge from the flipping cold outside.
Oh, I'm so cold.
Hug me, hug me.
I don't want to hug you.
Please hug me, otherwise I'll die.
I can't hug you.
Oh god, you're so frigid.
Yes, that's it.
My arms are frozen to my sides.
I mean emotionally.
No, I mean the perspiration from my armpits has frozen my arms to my side.
Hello, listeners.
This is XFM.
Burning my Arctic Monkeys CDs.
It's New Year's Eve Eve.
Oh, that's so deliciously warm.
And welcome to our very special Christmas show.
You know, we appreciate the Christmas the day itself has gone, but like a kind of nuclear explosion of love, the fallout is still in the air.
Yeah, I've still got a bit of Christmas music.
We're going to stick that one on the ghetto blaster in the corner of the Christmas shack.
We're Adam and Joe, by the way.
Thanks for listening.
And for the next two hours, we'll be bringing you rock music from bands like the Fratellis and the Kooks and the Killers and all the K-bands.
And here's the thing, Joe.
This is a surprise for you.
What?
It's not even two hours.
It's three.
Is it?
Yeah, we're here for three hours.
Oh, God.
Well, I might leave for the third hour.
Joe's leaving for the last hour, yeah.
No, it's going to be great, listeners.
And we're going to do all sorts of things.
I've bought Adam a present.
I didn't buy you anything.
I know, but I've bought you a present.
Oh, thanks, man.
And I'm going to spin the suspense of what the present is out for an amazingly long time in an incredibly effective way that shows that I'm the master of suspense.
Hey, you know what?
That's a good idea, because this has been the year of teasing people with boxes.
You're talking about Deal or No Deal, not just running up to people in the street with a box.
No, I'm going, I got a box that you ain't got my box.
Yeah, not that.
No, no, I'd never do that.
But also, apart from Deal or No Deal, of course, Lost, I think of Lost as a box show, you know what I mean?
Yeah, we've discussed this in some detail already on our podcast listeners.
On our no award-winning podcasts available to download immediately for none money.
Yeah, so all sorts of exciting things coming up.
What are you going to be talking about, Adam?
I'm gonna be looking back over the years Joe in a kind of a satirical way.
I'm gonna be raising an eyebrow and chatting in rather a funny way about some of the things that we've been talking about in the news this year.
Well that's exciting and of course everything is coming here from our Christmas shack.
You know we've had some letters
from people who don't believe that this is an actual shack.
Oh, really?
Yeah, they don't believe that we do it from a shack in the Mork Pole.
Read out one of the letters.
Dear Adam and Joe, Last year I listened to your Christmas special.
Special, question mark?
More like not very special, exclamation mark.
You weren't really in a shack.
Yours sincerely, Doris McWhirter.
You made that letter right?
I did not.
I didn't, man, I swear.
It's just written in temporary ink.
Well, do you know how I know you made that up?
What?
Doris McWhirter.
She's Norris's mum.
I tell you what, let's get into the show by playing some music right now.
And this is a whole bunch of music that we've probably never heard because we haven't been on the radio for a while.
Hey, stop giving the impression that we're not in touch with cutting-edge indie music.
Sorry about that.
This is an Italian band called the Fratellis.
And this is Whistle for the Choir.
Well, I must say, I thought that was a little naive by the kooks.
Yeah, cause it isn't.
It's called naive.
Exactly.
By the kooks.
Hey, have you heard of that band called The Vue?
The Vue?
V-U-E?
The Vue?
No.
And their song's called Same Jeans.
Have you heard of that?
Xanthi's heard of that.
Have you heard of that, Adam?
No.
Ooh, oldie man.
I'm an oldie grandpa.
Listen, I've heard I've heard of Oasis that they shout one of them is very badly behaved.
They're pretty much dead blur
Yeah?
They're pretty much dead.
They live in a house in a very big house in the country and uh menswear.
Are we gonna I wonder if we're gonna play same jeans by the view.
We do have a bit of blur for the oldies and it's it's even a classic very early blur track white stripes scott matthews the strokes you see it's pretty and radiohead look it's come on it's more or less business as usual here we shouldn't get too freaked out by the newness so tomorrow of course is new year's eve
It's exciting, isn't it?
It's exciting.
Christmas is all over.
Do you know what?
I've been invited to a party.
No.
And do you know who's holding the party?
Television magician, Derek Brown.
He's your ace.
He's one of my showbiz mates, yeah.
And he invited me to the party.
In fact, do you know when he invited me to the party?
He invited me during another party.
And do you know whose party that party was?
Matt Lucas.
Yeah!
Hey, how was that party?
Oh, it was amazing.
Couldn't go to that party now listeners.
We're talking about Matt Lucas's special.
I married a man party It was all over the papers in late December It was a while ago two weeks ago now, but Adam couldn't come right.
I had a gig that night I
Yeah, you fool.
I couldn't get out of it.
What a joke.
But it was extraordinary.
Maybe we'll talk about it in a little more depth later.
But it was amazing, Adam.
And you know what?
My career is going to really lift off now, thanks to that party.
You just think about it in career terms.
Well.
If I was there, I would have been celebrating the union of Matt and his boyfriend, Kevin.
The union of the snake.
But no, you were just thinking about it in terms of networking.
Yeah, I use it for networking, exactly.
It's all about networking.
Well, I have my Palm Pilot out.
And I'm wearing a business suit.
Getting in with Elton John.
Yeah.
One of my favorite things happened.
We were in the reception area.
It was a fancy dress party, a panto party.
And I was chatting to some friends.
And you know, often I do, I'm like physically quite ungainly.
I'm liable to make a gesture and knock over a glass of wine.
Or make another gesture and like just poke someone in the face with my elbow.
Do you ever do that kind of thing?
And it ruins the story, it's just terrible.
Anyway, I was happy that David Walliams did something very similar.
He was saying hello to me and there was a woman next to us and she was just taking a sip of champagne and he made a gesture and he knocked the bottom of her champagne glass with his elbow and it smashed into her teeth.
Bad wife!
And it was so funny.
I'm so sorry.
I'm really, really very, very, very sorry.
I bet that hurt as well.
Luckily the glass didn't smash.
But you know, there's no accounting for that kind of thing.
And really, social situations like that are a physical obstacle course.
They're very dangerous in that kind of respect.
That's why I don't go to parties anymore.
Really?
That's lethal.
It would be, you know, she could easily have had her entire face split open.
You know, if the glass had shattered and it had gone up her nose into her brain... It could have been hellish.
She would have died in the most grisly manner.
There should be public information films about that kind of thing.
When you're at a party, remember to control your elbows.
Otherwise you could slice somebody's face open.
Especially if you're Dave Walliams.
Yeah.
Shall we play more music?
Yes.
This time, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna play a track by a band called Just Jack.
I don't even know who Just Jack are.
That was the Zootons with Valerie.
That's an old classic, isn't it?
That's an XFM classic from 2006.
Yeah.
From 1906.
1906.
Yes.
Well done, the Zootons.
Good stuff.
What a year it's been for the Zootons.
They seem to go from strength to strength.
Did they?
Yeah.
Other things in the news this year, that was a little segue for you.
Well, I've got a comedy routine about something that was in the news this year, which was Christmas itself.
Wow.
Yeah.
What, Christmas itself was in the news?
Oh, yeah.
How so?
Well, uh... Oh, I know why.
Yeah, yeah.
Because it's being banned.
Exactly.
Right?
Yeah.
It's being called Winterville.
So here's my comedy routine.
Okay, this is a topical comedy routine, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Imagine you're in, like, a little club.
You're at the Christmas shack.
We've just got a few people in from around Leicester Square.
They were just wandering around.
All right, folks.
I love topical comedy.
Yeah, because I like to get back at the news.
Same here.
Yeah.
And it's the most enjoyable kind of comedy because everyone goes, yeah, I heard that about that.
What's that Radio 4 show that gets back at the news?
The Now show?
Yeah.
Like that.
The Now show.
Mock the week.
That's the one.
Mock the week.
Tease the news.
Yeah.
That's what we're going to do.
The news is so serious.
Right.
Here we go with tease the news.
Christmas.
All right, everybody have a good Christmas?
You can join in, Joe-ins.
Yeah, not so quite, sort of.
Yeah, everyone have a good Christmas?
Or should I say a good holiday break?
Because thanks to the PC Brigade, you're not actually allowed to call it Christmas anymore, are you?
Or you might offend someone.
You've got to say something like happy holidays or seasons greetings or to put it more accurately happy two-week shopping eating and boozing break.
I bet Jesus isn't too happy about that though is he?
Nailed to a cross, rose again from the dead, doesn't even get a holiday named after him because it might upset someone who's not into Jesus.
so so what are they gonna do about Easter probably call it something like chocolate weekend and of course of course saying summer holidays might offend people who don't like the summer
The audience is with me.
Yeah, so they're gonna have to rename summer.
They're gonna have to call it evidence of global warming months.
You've been great.
Thanks a lot.
Good night.
That's good recorded laughter.
Where do you think they got?
Are those people genuinely laughing at something or are they pretending to laugh?
Play them again.
It makes me want to laugh.
You know, a good comedy show would just be people laughing.
Yeah.
That would probably smash through the ratings room.
That's true, man.
That's true.
It is infectious.
But that's of course why they put canned laughter on shows, because it is nice to hear people laughing.
Yeah, but I tell you what, after a while... After a while it would just become depressing.
They're having an amazing time.
Check it out.
Yeah, but...
I reckon that would sustain for about, that would sustain for, she's loving it, but listen, in 90 seconds she'll be sadder than she's ever been in her life before, because it'll just turn into the sound of bedlam.
Yeah.
You know, there's nothing more depressing than people laughing at stuff that isn't funny.
Like the Russell Brand show.
Hey, I think he's very, very, very, very.
I think he's good, man.
I think he's a genius.
But on his Channel 4 show on a Friday night, when you said Bedlam, that's the first thing that popped into my head.
Yeah.
Because it is total Bedlam.
A Victorian crazy house.
But that's what the kids like, isn't it?
I don't know.
No, the kids don't like it.
Energetic people.
You know, the Russell Brand show gets lower figures than Blunder.
Does it?
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Thank you very much.
I'd love to.
Music time now.
Hey, and in a second.
What?
It might be time to tease your present a bit more.
I've bought Adam a Christmas present.
He doesn't know what it is.
We're going to reveal it at the end of the show.
Tease the news, tease the presents, tease the hair.
It's a big tease.
Now music, this is the first of our three plays.
This is a band that both myself and Joe enjoy very much.
It's Phoenix.
And this is a track from their album that was out this year.
I forget the name of the album, but the track is called Consolation Prize.
What a relief.
That was the Killers with Bones.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM London's 104.9.
Welcome to our Christmas shack.
Now I've bought Adam a Christmas present.
Whoa.
And it's pretty exciting stuff.
Because we didn't see each other over Christmas.
This is the first time we've met.
Yeah.
Since the beginning of the holidays.
And do you, I just wonder whether you think you know what it is?
Well... Should I tell you how much it cost?
Yeah, go on then.
$5.95.
That's a good price zone, because you can really get some pretty surprisingly good stuff.
For $5.95, yeah.
I'm thinking on the basis of some of your previous gifts,
That it's going to be maybe personalized in some way or with a strong personal slant.
It's certainly targeted.
It's something that will be useful.
I know you will find useful.
right is it like a chest hair trimmer no that would be useful though you don't want to trim your chest hair though I was gonna say well you can trim it but don't shave it otherwise you get an irritating stubble is it musical it does make noises oh well it's not the crazy frog because that was last year
Yeah, that would be worth less than $5.95.
Last year I bought Adam a Crazy Frog keyring.
It was good.
We smashed it.
We smashed it into tiny pieces.
Well, we're going to find out towards the end of the show what your present is.
What's been the craze this year, though?
That's what I was thinking.
There's no, like, Billy Bass type thing in the shops, is there?
There hasn't really been a craze.
I tell you what, the craze has basically been YouTube, hasn't it?
Right.
The big technological craze of 2006 was YouTube.
High definition, that was a 2006 thing.
The Wii?
Well, that's even a 2007.
Is that even out in this country yet?
Yeah, but you had to have pre-ordered one to get one.
Did you know that Nintendo has now become cockney rhyming slang for going to the loo?
I'm off to have a Nintendo.
Oh, no way.
Is it really?
With the kids?
Yeah.
Well, good.
I mean, what is the logic?
I still don't know what Wii stands for.
It's like Wii as in us.
Yeah.
It's like a pluralistic thing.
Sure.
And... But it's spelled W-I-I, right?
Yes.
Because the eyes are supposed to look like men.
People playing.
People, men?
Yes.
It's been very successful for Nintendo.
So it's not an acronym, it's not like world intelligence?
No, it's also a meaningless word that means something in all languages.
Space!
If you met a space man, could you say wee?
And he'd know what you were talking about.
Yeah, he'd just think you were making a fun noise.
Wee!
It's very clever.
Yeah.
It's very clever.
We talked about this before, but I mean, I wonder how they got beyond the fact that it just sounds like Wee Wee.
I mean, at some stage, they're too clever, man.
They knew, they knew it would stick in people's heads.
That's, that's amazing.
Yeah, and then they knew people would get over it.
To kind of, to have that kind of resolve, you know?
They're brilliant, they're brilliant.
Where you get the naysayers in going, Yeah, obvious problem, guys.
Sorry to mention it, but, uh, are you not worried about the fact that it sounds like, uh, Wee Wee?
What are you going to call it next?
The poo machine?
And they just say yeah.
That's probably what Sony are going to come out with next.
Exactly.
The poo station 3.
The poo box.
That's what Robbie Williams came out with.
This was also the year that Robbie went slightly down the YouTube.
He did and Take That came back and Robbie went back to where he came from.
A little bit of justice there.
A little sprinkling of justice.
Yeah, pop justice.
You know, that's the disadvantage of being really successful.
That's why you and I are alright, Adam.
Because we're always going to go up.
Seriously, yeah.
Well, we've just, you know, we just, we just sort of... We've got nowhere to drop.
Exactly.
We've got nowhere.
I'm not saying that we're not successful, but we just sort of bubble under.
Yeah.
People, some people know us and like us.
Most people don't know who we are.
The stakes are relatively low.
Yeah, and that's fine.
Yeah.
You know, it's not until you rise high that you can fall.
You don't want something because you might lose it.
Exactly.
Yeah, who wants things?
All those celebrities who try to make friends with Robbie Williams, be his number one pal.
They've wasted their time now.
They're all going round to Gary Barlow's house.
Yeah.
Gary, I'm back.
It's true though.
Robbie Williams.
What's that?
Are you puking?
Dunno.
Let's have some more music.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM.
It's time to play Primal Scream with Sometimes I Feel So Lonely.
Have you ever done a Primal Scream?
You know... We could do one right now.
We're in a studio.
This is the best place to do a scream.
What, you mean just scream as loud as you possibly can?
The kind of thing they do on kind of business bonding trips.
That was as loud as I could scream.
Did that sound good?
Yeah, it did sound quite good.
Go on, you do one.
That was my one.
That was joke, that was great.
That was Cassabian with me plus one.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM London's 104.9.
We're coming to you live from our special festive shack in Leicester Square and if you've been listening to the show so far you'll know that we've got a topical comedian in the studio today.
and a little audience.
Sorry, not in the studio, in the Christmas shack.
Yeah.
And he's going to do a little more kind of topical comedy about some of the highlights of the year, which will be great.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, nice to be back.
We all had a few more drinks, feeling a bit more loosened up.
Oh dear, I didn't go down well.
David Cameron.
I was thinking about David Cameron the other day.
I wonder what kind of games they were playing at Christmas round at David Cameron's house.
Something like Hunt the policy maybe.
Pass the buck.
Pin the blame on the Labour donkey.
I got him back with that one.
Spin the story.
Sherrards.
I'm just going to take a little break and be back shortly.
Thanks very much.
Topical comedy there on XFM, London's 104.9.
And off the wall, look at the year there from our resident topical comedian.
It's music time now.
Star of Tease the News.
Star of Tease the News, the Radio 4's least funny topical comedy show.
It's up for 20 Sony's.
This is Jet with Are You Gonna Be My Girl?
That was Razorlight with Before I Fall to Pieces.
This is Adam and Joe here on New Year's Eve.
Eve in our Christmas season shack here in Leicester Square.
And it's nice and warm in here.
We've got our fire going, listening to a bit of Christmassy music still.
Only a short album of Christmassy music we've got.
So it kind of goes round and round on the stereo there in the corner.
And we're just looking back over the years, events, the highlights, the low lights, the handbags, the glad rags.
The fairy lights.
Yeah.
So listen, I was saying earlier that I've been invited to Darren's Brown House.
What?
No, go on.
Darren's Brown House.
Got up too early.
So listen, I was saying earlier that I've been invited to Darren Brown's house for a New Year, you know, New Year's Eve celebration.
Do you think his house is brown?
Probably.
Just checking.
He invited me verbally and he said, check your inbox for the invitation.
Check your emails for the invitation.
Haven't had it yet.
Haven't had it?
No.
It's running out of time.
It's tomorrow night.
I know.
What do I do in that situation?
Do I, A, turn up?
B, think, well, he was just being polite, but he doesn't really want me to come?
What about... See, send him an email saying, hey, Darren, you mentioned the party, but I haven't got the invite.
Has there been a mix up?
Has there been a snafu?
A snafu.
What do you think?
I would say, well, you don't say that, but you drop him an email saying, hey, Darren, just checking you've got my correct email address.
Do you think?
What if he what if he's trying to mess with me?
He's a magic, magic mind-messer.
He is famous for messing with minds.
He is, he does it for a living.
And he's messing with my mind.
What if he's manipulating me?
Oh my goodness.
Oh my god!
What if he gets my email and goes... That's exactly what I knew he'd do.
Right under my brown thumb.
And he's probably watching me.
He's probably in my attic.
yeah he's probably floating above on the ceiling of my room of this shack probably of the if this shack yeah and somewhere in the shadows where we can't see it god he's probably got a you just can't trust him you can't trust him no he can't be trusted
And then imagine if you did get the invite anyway.
What kind of party would that be?
Do you know, I was at dinner with him once.
Right.
And there were lots of people around the table.
And he was asking everybody how, like, how manipulable they thought they were.
Well, you know, if we were, for instance, to be put under hypnosis, do you think you'd be able to be put under hypnosis?
Right.
Are you hypnotizable?
What did you say?
I said no.
No, absolutely not.
Do you know what he said to me?
Yes, you are.
You're probably the most one.
the most he didn't he grammatically constructed the sentence better than that he put all the other words in to make it you are probably the most one wrong joel you're probably the most one but i can get my head around that i thought is that is that true no that's not or he's just flipping the script to try and pull a rug out from under my tortoise classic brown it's classic brown yeah it's all pretend isn't it
It's all protected.
It's like the law of the playground.
That's what you do in the playground.
You know?
Who's the biggest wally?
You are.
No, you are by saying that.
Oh, clever.
Clever.
You know, that's all he's doing.
No, but he's cleverer than that.
I knew you were going to say that.
You're the biggest wally because the one that says the biggest wally is the wally biggest.
I'm going to be a nervous wreck at his party.
I can't wait to find out what happens.
He's a nice chap though, isn't he Darren?
Of course he is, I'm just being silly.
Or am I?
It's gonna be a tense New Year's Eve for me anyway, listeners.
I can't wait to find out about it.
Let's have some music.
This is the automatic with Raoul.
Raoul!
Hey, this isn't even out yet.
Really?
No, this is coming out in January.
Wow, the 8th of January, they're playing the Brixton Academy on the 23rd of February on the NME awards tour, and it was originally released back in April.
So that rather puts the light to what you said about it not being out yet.
Yeah, a little bit.
Great to hear this one again from the automatic.
Juice Boxx, that was from last year of course, 2005 I mean, and it was by The Strokes.
Has it been a good year for The Strokes, 2006?
Because 2005 was their year, wasn't they?
They exploded all over the scene, making wicked videos and being the coolest people in the world.
What happened in 2006 for The Strokes?
You know, Joe, 2001 was really that year.
Was it?
Was it really?
2001?
That was Strokes year.
Really?
So what's been happening?
What happened for them last year?
Well, their second album came out around 2003.
Did it make a big splash?
It made a decent splash.
It's a good album.
Yeah.
But 2006, was it?
Saw the release of First Impressions of Earth, I think the album was called, album number three.
Right, that's right.
It was out on January the 2nd.
Boring.
Was it boring?
Boring.
Ooh.
Now is that your opinion, or is that the opinion of music pundits?
I think it's pretty much agreed upon.
Well, well meaning but boring.
It's over for the strokes.
Yesterday's news, why are we playing them?
Like he was doing a song about one of the songs just goes, I've got nothing to say.
I can't even remember the tune because there wasn't one.
But the refrain is I've got nothing to say.
And it's kind of a sort of in-joke.
Yeah, yeah.
Kind of meta comment.
Yeah.
Because to say that is in itself saying something, which is what you missed.
Adam, thicky bad taste in music.
Buxton.
This is Adam and Joe, XFM, London's 104.9.
You know what's going to happen now?
I'm still reeling from thicky bad taste in music.
I'm just defending the strokes.
Yeah, that was quite damning wasn't it?
It was.
I'm going to give you your present.
Oh wow!
It's Chrissie present time.
I'm giving one to Adam.
Adam's bought me nothing, listeners, because he's a callous man.
but I'm gonna give him a present.
I'll tell you the problem with you though around this because your birthday's just before Christmas.
Correctamundo.
I shot my bolt with your birthday present.
Did you now?
Yeah.
Which you liked didn't you?
I loved it.
Yeah good.
So okay there's the present I'm sliding it across the disc jockey console.
It's wrapped in a page of newspaper.
That was supposed to be like, if you hadn't said that, it would just sound like paper.
You know, certain corners can be cut on radio.
Yeah, but look at what page it is, look at the headline.
Sorry, England surrendered the ashes in record time yesterday.
It's from about two weeks back.
yeah Freddie Flintoff yeah blah blah blah you see your cricket fan so here we go what what is this we're looking at a book I think ladies and gentlemen yeah but don't bend it too much there might be something else too large to be a DVD it's a kind of long finish but it's like it's DVD proportions but larger taking the Sun Sports page off the present now free CD included I can see it says on the corner there
Hello, there's a man, there's a picture of a bloke.
There's exciting stuff.
Voiceovers, a practical guide.
Now you see listeners, Adam Buxton makes a lot of money doing voiceovers.
You've probably heard them on the telly and stuff.
And I think he needs some advice from a professional to get his career going.
So this is a very long book all about the art of voiceovers and it comes with a CD, doesn't it Adam?
It does, I'm loading it up.
And the CD will have some guidance on how to do a really good voiceover.
I bet it's good advice.
I think it's probably a good book because I found it like in the remainder pile of a, remainder pile of a secondhand bookstore.
Yeah.
What does it say on the back?
Read the thing on the back.
Voiceovers explains and teaches the skills of voicing radio and television commercials.
It's useful for readers with no previous theatrical training for those who have been through drama school and for experienced members of the profession.
That's me.
The book includes scripts written for adverts, documentaries, training films, and radio drama.
Advice is given on how to find work, and there are sections on making your own demo tape, working in a voice studio, interpreting text, et cetera.
So that sounds good.
Let's have a listen to track one on the CD.
We went out for a meal last night.
It was all most enjoyable.
But mother came too.
When we took her home, I gave her a box of chocolate.
That is quite sexy, isn't it?
So presumably you're supposed to play that.
You reach a point in the book where it says, now play track one to see how a sexy voiceover should be done.
But yeah, but that wasn't supposed to be sexy, was it?
Yeah.
Because it was an older woman giving another woman a box of chocolates.
Surely, surely that was sexy.
I've got to find out.
They went out for a meal.
Okay, so what that actually was, here are some good and bad examples of microphone technique.
and the effect of different processes on a speaking voice.
Track one was a delightful evening.
Well, it doesn't say, so what?
Let's hear a bad example.
Okay.
Which track is a bad example?
Track two, a disastrous evening.
Okay.
We went out for a meal last night.
It was almost enjoyable.
His mother came too.
When we took her home, I gave her a box of chocolates.
Chocolates, she said.
Shows how much you care.
What's wrong with that?
Well, just the delivery is to laissez-faire.
It was just a different person.
But the trick, the thing is, it's tricky because they have to have a good example of someone doing a bad delivery.
But the good example was just very, very posh, wasn't it?
Yeah.
And then the bad example was not quite the point.
Here we go.
Do you want to hear a good example of how to do a rap and hardcore collection advert?
Yes.
What's that?
Hang on.
What's a rap and... Oh, like a compilation, you mean?
Yeah.
Rap and hardcore collection.
That's what they're called, isn't it?
This is how you do it.
Excuse me.
Do you have rap and hardcore collection?
It's the greatest Rap and Hardcore collection ever!
65 Rap and Hardcore originals featuring Dina Carroll, Simon Harris, Evie Dee, Frankie Paul, and many more!
It's a full compact dish set for only £9.99 at a dealer near you, now!
Oh that was too hardcore!
That's how you do Rap and Hardcore!
Yeah you talk like this as if you're from the streets, yeah!
And you get a little woman!
You get a little woman to do it!
Is there an example of a bad rap and hardcore collection advert?
No, I think that was a classic one.
What a brilliant present.
That is an amazing present.
That's such a good present.
You know what?
I think I'm going to make a lot more money next year out of my voiceovers.
You know?
Thanks to this book.
Nope.
XFM.
Well, that was good, wasn't it?
I think they're going to be very big next year.
That's a band called the Arctic Monkeys.
A funny sounding name for a band, certainly.
But what a sound they've got.
Yeah, it says here they're hotly tipped.
The hotly tipped Sheffield Quartet.
So, you know, that's got to be true, hasn't it?
Yeah.
It was a big year for the Arctic Monkeys.
I'd say they were the pop cultural phenomenon of 206.
Well, I've written a few- And I mean 206.
206.
I've written a few things down that made an impact in my world.
Yeah, what, your kind of highlights of the year?
Yeah.
Let's hear them.
Apart from the Arctic Monkeys, TV for me didn't get that much better than Celebrity Big Brother right at the beginning of the year.
Right, featuring George Galloway's like cat activity and all that sort of stuff.
Yeah.
And Michael Barrymore's Nervy B. That kind of cataclysmic confrontation between Galloway and Preston.
Yep.
Hard to believe that this time last year, we didn't know who Chantelle was.
Hard to believe.
And now... She's nowhere, everywhere.
We've forgotten who she was.
What's she doing?
She just did a series on E4 and now she's been just put down, hasn't she?
What was her series called?
Chantelle's Secrets or something?
Chantelle's, yeah, Secrets or something is what it was called.
She was a nice person, but I think that she was mishandled, don't you?
Yeah, I don't know really.
She's perfectly nice, but is that enough?
Because the book and everything, her catchphrase was, oh my god.
I tell you who makes me genuinely angry.
Who?
Is Nikki.
She's got a show called Princess Nikki.
I had the misfortune to watch that the other day.
That's just a show about an idiotic woman who just won't work or make any effort at all and is just a complete scumbag, basically.
Why?
What?
Why?
What are they doing?
Why have her on telly?
The other day she was working in a chippy.
They asked her to put some crabs in a box.
She screamed like a toddler and ran away.
I don't want to do it.
I can't.
I want slimy.
What is the point?
And then outside this chippy, there are about 500 people with camera phones taking pictures of her.
What's the idea?
It just makes me depressed.
It's the kind of thing that makes me feel like an old man.
Well, it's only going to get worse.
Do you think?
Imagine what 2007 has in store.
In reality television terms?
Depth plumbing activities, yeah.
Wow, I can't.
It's mind-numbing.
I'm hoping they'll reach the bottom and have to go the other way.
You know, like come full circle.
No, they'll dig through, they'll find another one underneath.
What about, you know, amazingly... What about getting Richard Dawkins, like, a house full of creationists and, like, scientists?
You know, a massively heavyweight, intellectual ideas-based big brother.
That's a good idea because probably what would happen is it would just boil down to being exactly the same as every other one, you know what I mean?
Just tiffs.
Yeah, because... Personality conflicts.
...that format, it would probably turn out that that format just brings everyone down to their basis level anyway.
To like an animal level.
Exactly.
Wow.
What if you don't put them in a house, but just have them correspond in letter form?
Yeah.
Or just... And you just get the letters read out by an army colonel.
called Brigadier Johnson.
Now you're talking.
And every night for two hours he'd read the letters out in front of a grey background with a bell in the background.
And for Christmas, the Christmas special he'd have a glass of port while he was doing it.
And late at night instead of footage of them in the bed you'd just have shots of the letters.
Slightly too far away to reach But they'd be there what about that and when it got really cool big letters the letter would be dear sir I'm sorry to say that I must complain in the strongest terms about your comments from last week that would almost be too racy yeah, that would bet the heat magazine would go mental that would be number one if then I
things to watch that's the world I'm waiting for okay it's all coming up in 2007 this is Adam and Joe on XFM London's one of 4.9 you're listening to our New Year's Eve Eve special live from the festive shack in Leicester Square shall we have some more music okay now I'm gonna play some semi difficult and slightly ridiculous music uh-oh
This is from one of my favourite albums this year, Squarepusher.
With his album Hello Everything.
And this is a track, this is probably one of the most accessible tracks on the album.
Probably one of the most accessible pieces ever done.
Is he like a rave artist?
Squarepusher, no no no.
Because that name always makes me think of like a rave artist.
Well no, it's like Aphex Twin type mad beats and stuff.
It makes me think he might be on some kind of hip hop and hardcore collection.
No, he's almost like a kind of jazz...
okay crusty but he happens to really like playing extremely complicated nutty heavily programmed songs on his computer and on his bass guitar and stuff anyway this is a track called welcome to europe enjoy
There we go, that was the White Stripes with my doorbell, yeah?
I've been thinking about my doorbell.
Really?
Yeah.
My doorbell's too flipping loud.
It's like Buffalo Bill's doorbell in Silence of the Lambs.
I know, that's no joke.
Makes me jump.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
It's terrifying, it's a terrifying doorbell.
We've got a telephone in the kitchen with the ring is much too loud, you know?
You know what doorbells I liked?
I like doorbells in the 70s, like in sitcoms.
Bing bong, ding dong.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Or electronic ones.
What's that?
A chicken one?
That's electronic.
But yeah, what about your doorbell?
The doorbell is not so bad, it's the phone that's too loud.
Right, it's probably got a volume switch.
No, no, no, no.
Okay, it hasn't.
This is a new single from Jamie T. This is called Calm Down Dearest.
It's the follow up to If You Got The Money from his debut album Panic Prevention due out in January.
He's playing the Astoria on the 24th of January.
That would be a great gig.
I haven't heard this one, but here's how I bet it goes.
But let's find out.
Right now.
That was Radiohead with Street Spirit.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM London's 104.9.
Happy New Year's Eve Eve, listeners.
Yeah, good luck if you're getting set to go to a party.
Joe's going to an exciting celebrity party, as we've heard.
We hope, anyway.
We hope.
I've kind of been invited to Darren Brown's party in a magical way, but he hasn't sent me the invitation, so maybe I should expect some kind of a psychic message, or maybe I should just sort of absorb the invitation from signs around town.
Yeah.
You know?
So what will you do if you're not invited, though?
Just be unhappy.
Stay at home.
Feel that I've been locked out of the magic circle.
I wonder who else would be at the party.
Magic men.
All the magic men.
Blame.
Paul Zenon, David Blame.
Paul Daniels, David Copperfield.
The masked magician certainly won't be invited because he gave away all the secrets on Bravo and he's a pariah.
Ali Bongo?
Ali Bongo might be there, yeah.
He's probably serving the drinks or just cleaning up after.
What about the tranny magician?
Faye Presto?
Is she a tranny?
Yeah.
I don't know.
No, I think Darren's kind of, you know, he's quite a sophisticated, slightly evil.
You know, he's one of the dark magicians.
He's a black magician.
Yeah.
Yeah, and those are sort of fun, good-time party magicians.
Okay, um, this is Adam and Joe on XFM, London's 104.9, on New Year's Eve Eve.
Will you tell us more about Matt Lucas's wedding party in a bit?
Sure, do you want me to do it now, or shall we tease it?
The big tease.
Let's tease it, let's play some more music.
Let's do a big tease, yeah.
Let's play, uh... Let's do a Jamie tease.
Let's play a free play.
This is one of my discoveries of the year, listeners.
What was that?
It was Jamie tease.
Nice.
This is a guy called Dudley Perkins, and this is a very lazy sort of, uh,
sort of song.
Good for if you've just woken up and are feeling a bit groggy.
That's a good name Dudley Perkins.
It's called Flowers.
That was McCalmont and Butler with Yes, this is Adam and Joe on XFM 104.9, a very happy New Year's Eve eve to all our listeners.
We're just entering the third hour of our Saturday show, coming live from our special festive shack in snowy Leicester Square.
When we say snowy, we mean that euphemistically.
Yeah, well, there's also a small weather system just above Leicester Square that we're feeling that... Yeah, it's chemical snow, it's fake snow.
We've had it brought in from Hollywood.
it's Charlie yeah it's the name of the man that's doing the snow exactly it's a bloke called Charlie he does fake snow thanks for listening everybody we'll see you next week bye
yeah so what a year it's been for everybody so you were to we've been teasing your Matt Lucas party story non-stop it's not really a story is it it's just the fact that Joe was invited to Matt Lucas's kind of civil wedding ceremony party whatever you want to call it and it was star-packed Adam so man tell me all about it who was the biggest star there the biggest star there well let me list some stars and you tell me who's the biggest Jonathan Ross
Will Young, Elton John, Dawn French, Richard Curtis, Rob Brydon, David Williams, Matt Lucas, Joe Cornish.
Joe Cornish, who's he?
Ah, who else was there?
Edgar Wright, he's a big director.
Yeah.
I was hoping for a little Hollywood.
Oh, Peter Kay?
No, there's no Hollywood stars there.
No Hollywood?
No, I don't think Robbie Williams was even there.
But it was hard to tell who was there because they were all so costumed.
Right.
It was a, it was a theme fancy dress panto party.
Yeah.
It was a beautiful room, the banqueting hall in Whitehall with the ceiling painted by a guy called Rubens.
Oh.
You might have heard of him.
Paul Rubens.
Yeah, he was on the first series of changing rooms.
Yeah.
One of the designers.
Yeah, at the top of the room there were kind of
crazy giant playing cards and a king and queen doing kind of weird performance art stuff in beautiful costumes, delicious food, people pouring champagne, all that kind of business.
There was a gypsy caravan with a small boy and girl wearing lederhosen, playing a concertina and slapping their thighs.
There was a man dressed as Michael Jackson in a kind of little Neverland area.
Don't mention that.
I don't think you're allowed to call them gypsies anymore.
I say that in the kind of storybook sense.
Blair's Britain, so... Welcome to Blair's Britain.
Welcome to Blair's Britain.
PC gone mad.
That's what I call it.
What else went on?
There were lots of people dressed as... Sorry to interrupt.
Wouldn't that be a funny character in a sketch show?
PC gone mad.
And he would be like a policeman.
And he'd go around and go...
And they go, oh, that's PC gone mad.
It would be a funny sketch in an unfunny sketchbook.
You're Nate.
I'm Nate.
We're all Nate.
Oh, knockers.
Oh, that's PC gone mad.
That's kind of like a little cartoon in Private Eye, maybe, at best.
So there you go.
Is that an adequate description of the party?
Man, that party sounds lovely.
I wish I could have been there.
And at one stage, Will Young sang a song.
Yeah, and David Arnold, the composer of the Bond or the James Bond music, accompanied him on the piano.
What did Will Young sing?
Some kind of a song, I can't remember.
But it was in a very sweet, high voice.
And, you know, I know XFM listeners won't necessarily be Will Young fans.
Because XFM listeners like raunchy people in top hats kicking over chairs and singing about drinking.
Yeah, exactly.
And Will Young tends to sing about snow and...
cutting out shapes and making collages and stuff.
But he's got a very sweet voice when he sings sweet, you know, when he's not doing his warbly Mariah Carey kind of business.
I've got a piece of pink string and I'm making a man with it.
It's better than that, for instance, his voice, yeah.
His lyrics tend to be a bit better than that as well.
No.
Yes, but he's sung a song.
I've got a piece of orange string
And that was it.
And you know what the most successful element of the party was?
I don't think I said anything stupid to anybody.
Oh, well done.
I made no social faux pas.
Didn't forget anyone's name?
Didn't forget anyone's name, no.
And when me and my girlfriend arrived at the party, a massive phalanx of paparazzi ran over to our taxi.
About 20 of them.
Cameras at the ready.
Had a look through the window.
20 faces fell.
And they turned away and walked away.
Walked off.
Do you remember the Q Awards?
We were hosting the Q Awards one year, listeners.
And we turned up and exactly the same thing happened.
But that's good.
That's good.
That's a good thing, Adam Buxton.
Right.
Yeah.
Is it?
I call them the craparazzi.
Nice.
Yeah.
Slam.
Bang.
Take that, Paps.
I call them that.
the papa rubbish yeah bash this is anima joe london's xfm 104.9 here's the charlatans we've just looking
That was the Charlotte Tongs with Jeff Yocking.
This is Adam and Joe on XFM, London's 104.9, our Christmas Eve Eve special.
We're into the X list, so text in your requests to 83936 or 83XFM, and we'll do our best to play them.
How about some more predictions of 2007?
OK, good idea.
What are you most excited about?
Like, movie-wise, I tell you what, listeners, I'm even in one of the movies I'm most excited to see.
Oh my gosh.
Which is Hot Fuzz, the follow-up
movie to Shaun of the Dead yeah but we're a bit biased about that one it's not exactly an objective choice but you know what the funny thing is it is an objective choice well it is that's the thing yeah we yeah it's actually gonna be really really good and I haven't seen any of it yet and I'm really really excited to see it it's a good one it's of course the follow-up to Shaun of the Dead if you're a fan of that or spaced or you know Nick Frost and Simon Pegg's work then you should be excited about Hot Fuzz brilliant posters going up around the cinemas in London are they kind of bad boys 2 style went out a bit of a brick twist
I think it's out in February or March.
Man, can't wait for that.
Exciting stuff.
Trailers on the internet.
Looking good.
There's a little bit of Buxton in the trailer.
Just my feet, I think, aren't they?
Yeah, the very end of your death.
Yeah, because I get killed in it.
Buxton gets killed in a spectacular fashion in that film, so watch out for that.
Factacular.
Celebrity Big Brother coming up very shortly.
We don't know who's on it, though, yet.
No, but you know, I'm going to avoid it this year.
I like it, I like it.
I'm going to stay away from it.
You can't have two classic ones in a row, though, and last year was a classic, so this year's probably going to be a bit of a sink show.
What other predictions have you got?
Harry Potter.
That's not a prediction.
That's just a fact.
That's coming out, isn't it?
That's right.
What's it called this time?
And the packet of crisps.
Harry Potter.
And my mum's boring.
And the hardcore rap album.
Right.
I don't know.
Harry Potter and the side order of fries.
Live shows though speaking of which you know what every comic is doing like a live show nowadays.
What do you mean like a stand-up show like a tour?
A tour sort of thing where they just transplant the shows that they've done.
Transplant?
Why are you talking like that all of a sudden?
Well how do you say transplant?
Yes.
sorry transplant the show that says Colonel Cornish the show that they've done on TV onto the stage now this is a veiled reference to Mitchell and Webb well you know of course Little Britain did the tour this year it's turning into a giant tour-a-thon they're going to Australia next year they're gonna be touring for the rest of their lives the mighty Boosh of course did a fantastic live show that was one of my live events of the year yeah I think my top live show of the year would be the Boosh in fact last year was kind of the year of the Boosh
It was the year of the Bush, but yet they were ignored at the Comedy Awards.
Because they're so good.
That's what I'm saying.
I think things that are genuinely good tend to kind of reach a certain level and stay there.
Right.
And of course, Mitchell and Webb had their tour, which was very successful.
Yeah.
We, neither of us have seen that, so we can't pass comment.
No, but I hear it was a delight.
Yeah.
And we did originate some of the sketches.
So yes, that's right.
Yeah.
Number one.
Hello.
Next year, who's going to be touring?
They could do a live Green Wing show.
They should do a live Green Wing.
They're too busy with Barclaycard adverts.
Yeah.
Maybe we should tour in the new year.
Adam and Joe go on the road.
That's a good idea.
Wouldn't you think we could make some new stuff?
Yeah.
Perform some songs.
Do some chitchat.
Do you think anybody would come?
No.
Well, let's do it anyway.
Yeah.
Here's some music now.
This is Beck.
What's this called?
This is called Cellphone's Dead.
This is his Herbie Hancock track.
That was Open The Go with Get Over It.
This is Adam and Jo on XFM London's 104.9.
Of course, OK Go had a special sort of smash hit video this year that was disseminated over YouTube.
YouTube?
What's YouTube?
Well, Adam, YouTube is a new cultural phenomenon.
It's like internet television.
I love new cultural phenomenon.
Yeah, it's user-generated content UGC.
Huh?
Yeah.
Is that a cinema chain?
No.
Nice.
Yeah.
What?
United Gomont Cinemas.
Yeah, user-generated content is the future.
One brain.
Yeah, cause the world's gone YouTube crazy and I tell you how you can tell that.
Why?
Because you know all those rubbish cable channels where you used to have ladies rubbing their bits?
Now that's been taken over by user-generated content.
Right.
Now you get channels with like six little screens and people sending videos of their bums.
Even the news are like paying people.
They pay people a hundred pounds to send in their clips.
That's a bit of a rip-off, don't you think?
Is that what the news pays?
On channel five, yeah.
Send us your clips.
Really?
And that's... whatever happened to reporting or anything like that?
Clips.
Yeah?
Just getting clips in.
It's extraordinary stuff, you know?
Here's some more music.
This is the psychedelic furs with Pretty in Pink.
Oh, I love that film.
This is a great song.
Yeah.
That was the Guillemots with Trains to Brazil this is Adam and Joe on XFM London's 104.9 our very special Christmas show and to be honest listeners I'm still a bit tutti from my Christmas drinks.
Oh man the only problem I have right now apart from the fact that I slightly dread New Year's Eve and the whole over excitement aspect.
And you haven't been invited to the big magic party.
Also I haven't been invited to any parties is the aftermath the week
the first week of January where all the festivity drains away and is replaced by endless adverts for fitness videos.
But you see that's when they slip in Celebrity Big Brother.
That's the genius of Celebrity Big Brother.
You've no choice.
It's like a tiny thimble of putrid water in a desert.
You have to drink it.
Cuz it's like really hypocritical yeah don't you think cuz like right before Christmas they're all saying oh yum mmm unless strawberries have some of them with chocolate sauce and then immediately after Christmas it's like no don't have no more strawberries buy a fitness video cuz you're too fat cuz you've had too many bits of chocolate.
It's almost as if all they care about is selling you stuff.
Yeah.
Hey you know this year according to Trevor McDonald is gonna be the worst year ever for the high street.
Because everyone's going off to New York or buying stuff on the internet.
Are people seriously going to New York?
They did a thing Trevor McDonald did on the telly, he didn't but he got someone to do it, where a couple went to New York and did all their Christmas shopping.
They bought some jeans and Superman returns.
And they came back and tottered it all up against a couple who'd done their shopping in London.
Even with the price of the airfares, the couple who'd gone to America were a grand ahead of the game.
Well, that is a disgrace.
Were they worried about their carbon footprint, you might ask?
Yeah.
Were they worried about the pollution?
Because taking a flight to America is the equivalent of running a house for six months.
Exactly.
Same carbon emissions.
Were they worried?
No, they weren't.
They went, no, not really.
That's shocking, man.
Shocking, isn't it?
But there you go, that's the future.
The death of the high street.
By this time next year, there might not be any shops.
Death of the high street.
Death of the planet's what I'm a little bit more worried about!
Mind you, they had a bloke who ran John Lewis or something, and he said, actually, we've got more people through our doors than ever because they like to pick up the merchandise.
And then he picked up a piece of fresh sponge cake and ate it.
Mmm, that was delicious.
And the reporter had some as well.
He went, mmm, it is delicious.
This is real, isn't it?
And then it went back to Trevor McDonald.
This isn't just a picture on a computer screen, I can actually taste it.
Brilliant.
Brilliant stuff.
So there you go, that's high street and consumer news coming to you from me.
That was pretty political stuff, though, that we were just... About the cake?
Yeah, about the whole thing like that.
You know, we were getting into some political... Some people think that we're just a couple of morons talking about things that don't matter.
Really?
Well, they're wrong.
They're dead wrong.
We are political.
We are quite political.
OK, now it's time for some more music.
This is David Bowie with Golden News.
REM with it's the end of the world as we know it.
Hopefully it isn't.
Well, exactly, but the signs aren't good, are they?
No.
You gotta stop using electricity, listeners.
Yeah?
Yeah, well, in practical terms, apart from doing all your recycling and stuff like that, what's the average person supposed to do?
Turn the lights off.
I feel so helpless.
You know what I've done this year?
What?
No Christmas tree.
None Christmas tree?
No, no Christmas tree.
Why, what's wrong with a Christmas tree?
Well, tree, like, waste a tree.
You don't want to waste a tree.
Imagine all those trees being chopped down and wasted.
It's gotta be bad.
Yeah, but there's more growing, aren't there?
They're planting more Christmas trees.
Nah, Christmas tree's evil.
That's a good carbon neutral business there, growing Christmas trees.
Do you know what I've given as presents?
What?
Just mud and paste.
of paste and if anyone complains then they're guilty of ruining the planet right yeah do you know what i'm having for food haven't even shaped the mud and paste into any kind of just a ball yeah do you know what i'm having for food what mud and paste and grass on the top yeah and if you complain then have a slice of al gore pie
No champagne or anything?
Champagne, the bubbles are full of gases, global greenhouse gases, that's how they make it fizzy.
They permeate it with greenhouse gases, that's the word isn't it?
Oh dear, I do care about this kind of thing, it sounds as if I'm taking the mick out of it, but no.
But I tell you what, that REM song, do you think that encourages people to be irresponsible?
I mean, in this day and age, when the world in fact may be in terrible trouble from global warming, they're just being complacent.
We feel fine.
The world's ending.
I'm not going to do anything about it.
I'm going to take my shirt off and play with my skateboard in a derelict building.
They're being, they're being ironical about it.
They're saying that's what you're doing, you idiots.
Are they?
Yeah.
They're saying, you're just carrying on as if there's nothing wrong.
It's the end of the world.
It's staring you right in the face and you're not changing your lifestyles.
One iota.
You're just going to New York to buy your cheap wheeze and your copies of Batman Returns and your cheap jeans and then you're coming back on your 20 pound flight and you're killing the planet just because you want to go on a cheap wheeze.
Can I get to New York for 20 pounds?
Probably.
How much does Batman Begins returns?
Yeah, that's the theme.
Batman returns.
Superman returns.
Is there not a Batman Begins?
Batman returns.
Batman goes out.
Superman returns.
Batman pops in.
Yeah, well the house is only big enough for one of them.
They live in the same house.
Batman pops out, Batman returns, Superman pops out.
Wow, it's exciting.
All these superheroes.
Spider-Man swings by.
Spider-Man back in ten minutes.
Spider-Man.
Superman, only two school children allowed at one time.
Spider-Man returns.
Spider-Man pops back out.
Spider-Man goes on holiday.
That should be the name of the new Spider-Man film.
Spider-Man goes on holiday.
And it should have cameos from Dawn French in it.
This is Adam and Joe, XFM, London's 104.9.
It's time for some even more music.
It's time for even more music.
That's my favourite kind of music.
We're very tired.
I'm slightly drunk.
Excuse me, have you got any even more music?
This is Franz Ferdinand with Darts of Pleasure.
What do they mean by that?
This is Adam and Joe, XFM London's 1 on 4.9.
We're coming towards the close of our amazing three-hour festive marathon.
Yeah, I don't know about you, but I'm drunk out of my mind.
We've both had one too many liqueurs, and we're feeling a little bit tooty.
But hey, it's New Year's Saturday.
Is that what it's called?
New Year's Eve Eve.
New Year's Eve Eve, and anything goes.
Anything goes?
Yeah, all laws are suspended.
It's anarchy in the streets.
Laws of gravity.
Yeah, everyone's floating around.
Trains are flying to space.
It's sort of a depressing time, because are the sales, have they started already?
Their sales started well before Christmas.
Adam, didn't I talk to you about the death of the high street?
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
So listen, all we've got to say to you listeners is have a fantastic new year.
Don't forget to check out our podcasts available on iTunes or xfm.co.uk.
It's not as if we've got a new one, but we've got a fantastic seasonal best of, and if you haven't heard them, 20 Laugh Riots available to download.
Absolutely.
Each one has got something good to recommend it.
And the best of is non-stop good times.
We heartily recommend that one.
It's the finest thing we've done in years.
We should say thank you to our producer, Xanthi.
Xanthi, thank you.
Xanthi Fuller, our excellent producer here at XFM.
Thank you, Xanthi, so much.
She's tip for the top.
Apparently.
Oh yeah, no she's just a young person.
It says here Xanthi Fuller is tip for the top.
You can find out more about her on www.XanthiFuller.com.
If you go to any one of her tips you'll find that they are extremely hot.
She's hotly dipped.
Also, Matt Everett, thank you very much, Deed, for helping us out with our podcast.
But most of all, listeners, thank you for listening to our show.
Have a fantastic Saturday.
Don't forget to buy lots of booze and stuff, Bacardi Breezers, so that when you go to the park on New Year's Eve, hop over the fence, you know, you can protect yourself from the cold by being well sozzled.
talking to the kids that's what the kids do granddad right they don't have anywhere to go they all you always end up in the park when you're a kid don't you with a couple of Bacardi breezes and ten silk cut and people you hardly know I read in the paper
Well, some of the local council has installed orange lighting in all their parks because it makes teenagers' spotty skin look even more severely bad.
We'll see you next year, thanks a lot for listening.
This has been Hanuman Joe, goodbye.
Bye, love you, bye!